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I hope you enjoy this story.
Just a kind notification before the clip starts, you will encounter two anecdotes in this
video and both contain recent developments.
Moving on to the initial tale.
My partner's domineering jealousy completely spoiled our Vegas trip, and I've had enough
of it.
Three weeks ago I went to Las Vegas with my girlfriend Laura, her best friend Sarah and
her boyfriend for a vacation getaway.
After all college students we had just finished final exams and we had been planning this
trip for about six months.
There were issues before we even got there, by the time we boarded the plane was just
about full.
Sarah and her boyfriend got the last two seats together but Laura and I were forced to
sit apart from each other.
No one wanted to give up or swap seats.
I gave her the option of the two final seats, a little girl and her mom or two high school
slash college volleyball girls.
I sat in the window seat next to this extremely chatty five year old girl and her mother in
her late twenties or early thirties.
I entertained the kid for about three hours of our five six hour flight until she fell
asleep.
My older sister has a child about that girl's age so I'm used to it.
Once the little girl fell asleep the mother was making small talk asking how I was so good
with children, general things nothing invasive or anything.
When we got off the plane, Laura was already livid she said I didn't even look bothered
by the fact that we didn't get to sit next to each other almost like I enjoyed getting
away from her.
I mean the flight sucks and I would have much rather slept or been next to her but I'm
not going to mope around and make a bad situation already worse it was a six a.m. who really
wants to plane with a five year old for three hours.
Anyways eventually she got over it and apologized after Sarah talked her down about it.
We go to our hotel on the strip and check in and it turns out they booked a single penthouse
room through some promo Sarah's parents provided for the four of us.
It wasn't terrible but I had only met Sarah and her boyfriend maybe a handful of times
before this trip.
I would find out later talking to Sarah that Laura begged her to do it this way despite
Sarah's original plan to have us in joint rooms.
We walked the strip the first day and there were tons of very attractive girls walking.
I mean it's Vegas I don't know what she expected but I noticed maybe after fifteen minutes
of walking Laura was staring at me instead of looking at the sights like everyone else.
She was watching my eyes as we walked not like a hey look at me give me attention but more
like her trying to see what or who I was looking at while we were walking.
I told her she was missing the sights and I told her that she had nothing to worry about.
We went to this huge outlet mall and every sale associate that tried to give me coupons
or such she would nearly throw a fit.
Asked one of the girls working about a product Laura had interest in and even then Laura
came over and basically awkward and tactlessly took hold of the conversation.
It was the most embarrassing thing I've ever witnessed in my life.
I apologized to the associate before we left I felt so bad for her.
Writing the bus to the night shows Sarah's BF and I let them take the last two seats
while we stood hanging on to those support things.
There was a couple in from us that were obviously hammered so drunk they were even holding
on to anything when the bus started moving they both fell back of course and we caught them.
Laura said later that we didn't know them and should have just let them fall instead
of putting our hands on them.
The third day Laura and I didn't even go out of the hotel because she was feeling sick
so I stayed with her the entire day which wasn't a big issue but she didn't even want
me to leave for food had me use room service.
She seemed happy and content sitting in the hotel room watching movies the day before
we were leaving we ate at this nightclub restaurant place and our server was a show girl
or call girl.
I don't know the proper term but she flirted with us so much when she noticed how Laura
was reacting.
She just did it even more.
I tried to play it down but the damage was already done.
I pretty much mentally checked out that day I understand no one likes to see their so
get flirted with but I'm pretty sure it's that girl's job to try to tempt people into
taking her card.
Sarah's BF got hit on worse than me and Sarah just laughed about it even joked with the
show girl.
I was ready to end the relationship as soon as we got back home.
But when we got on the plane she was smiling and happy telling me about how she had seemingly
a great time in Vegas.
I brought up the trip once we were back home and alone and she apologized and said she
wasn't feeling like herself.
I pushed her a bit more and she eventually told me about a past ugly relationship where
she was cheated on twice and the guy treated her like dirt and tried to control her.
It almost seemed like she was trying to guilt me into staying and for the most part it
was working but I couldn't stop thinking about the trip.
She basically deferred a lot of the blame onto a previous relationship and mood swings
though at first she said she didn't think she did anything wrong.
I'm not perfect by any means and I'm usually quick to get out of relationships to the
point where I'm unsure if I'm running away too soon like I normally do or if this is
one of those situations where leaving is acceptable and the right thing to do.
I'm not looking for something perfect everyone has flaws over the years I've realized this
but I've never been one to try to fix someone else and it's something my older sister says
is my biggest issue as a person.
You keep looking for the whole package and you don't ever still around long until if you
see a few missing pieces is basically what she told me I usually trust my sister's
judgment but I feel like she might be a bit off the mark this time.
Laura has never acted like this before but this was our first real outing.
We typically spend time with her friends and just the two of us around college campus.
It's been three weeks and she's pretty much her normal self but we have two other trips
planned one with Sarah and her BF and Laura's family and another with a much large group
of people for the summer about a month.
I can't handle a repeat of Vegas.
Am I trying to leave too fast?
Should I stick around and see this through and work with her to fix it?
Outside perspective.
How do these things typically play out?
More info I have talked to her and I was as firm and brutally honest as I could have been
about it.
I didn't let the Vegas trip slide despite her trying to push it away and make it disappear.
Her words were that she would try her best to change but she didn't know if she could
or if this was just how she had always been.
She saw the wrong she did and even her best friend told her that her behavior was unacceptable
but still, she just seemed indifferent about whether she could change or not.
I know trust issues are tough to overcome but she seems to lack all types of motivation
and when I told her that basically I needed change or I was going to have to rethink
our relationship, she sat there with a blank stare on her face, almost as if telling
me, to leave.
I don't know if it was a guilt trip to make me feel sorry for her.
If she doesn't think I'll actually leave or her pride refusing to accept that she has
to change or she will lose everyone close to her.
Walking out immediately after two years together and this being the first time something like
this has happened seems premature if the relationship is otherwise solid.
Not to dismiss our relationship but to me, spending hours in each other's dorm and time
around campus is one thing but actually interacting outside of it is huge to me.
I feel like in the two years we've been dating that she's always had excuses to try to
keep us like that.
I'm an active person.
I play sports for my college and outside of that she never wanted to do anything.
Even going on the trip, she was so apprehensive about it that we nearly didn't even go with
them.
She used every excuse she could think of for us to spend another summer lasing around
instead of doing stuff.
I think maybe I've been too clueless or naive to pick up on the subtle warning signs
that maybe my relationship has always been like this.
Update
So, after my post, I went and I talked to Laura's best friend Sarah basically asking
her about Laura.
I wanted to know if there was anything I should know about Laura's previous relationships
or past that she wasn't going to tell me out of worry, embarrassment, or trauma that
would explain her behavior.
I explained to her that after what happened in Vegas I was on the verge of ending the
relationship that I was so put off by her behavior that I couldn't handle being with her.
Sarah was quick to tell me there wasn't anything but I was skeptical she seemed to be hiding
something.
Being Sarah's good friend, she told me to give her one more chance and made some last minute
plans for about eight of us to go to the beach last weekend.
Laura didn't want to go obviously and I didn't even try to force her to go.
Sarah and a couple of the other girls convinced her to come along and that it would be fun
to go as a big group.
Of course, this beach trip went about as badly as I expected it to go.
She wanted me to keep my shirt on the entire time we were there despite everyone else
including herself stripping down to a bathing suit.
Once I took off my shirt, she would ask me every hour or so if I was ready to put it back
on so I wouldn't get sunburned.
Walking the boardwalk every flock or group of girls we walked past she would look at
me to see if I was looking at them and if I was looking, she would scold slash guilt
me.
If I weren't looking then she would get jealous and tell me that those girls were staring
or looking at me, it was highly embarrassing and so obvious.
At one moment, this beach volleyball lands next to our towel and this girl comes to
get it and I hand it to her and she says thanks you and kind of looks back at me as she's
running back to her friends.
The volleyball landed next to us two three times and Laura was convinced that they, a group
of ten people were doing it on purpose and sending the same girl to retrieve it so she
could get a better look at me.
I'll admit I was already going to end our relationship just off those things prior
but what really set me off was when I was swimming I was pretty far out near the restriction
buoy and I saw these two, brother and sister maybe around twelve or thirteen and they obviously
having trouble.
I think they went too far out and got tired.
Neither of them were strong swimmers and I noticed they were drifting further and further
so I swam over and asked if they needed help getting back closer to shore.
I swim and pull them both back closer to shore until they touch the bottom.
They were both extremely grateful and I heard the sisters say that their parents told
them never to go out that far.
Laura asked me what I was doing with those kids out there.
I told her I was helping them get back to shore and she said isn't that what lifeguards
are for.
Two of the couples sitting next to her looked mortified but all I could do was shake
my head.
I broke up with her that night and told her I really hoped she got the help she needed
to be more comfortable with herself.
She was overly dramatic, crying and sobbing, desperately telling me that she would change
if I stayed, she said that she needed me to help her and that it would be entirely my
fault that she was the way she was.
I decided to leave before I said anything hurtful because I was getting angry and that's
when she blurted out that she was pregnant.
I look at her and just roll my eyes and leave.
I haven't had sex with her since her last period purposely.
I think she realized that because eventually she came out of the hotel room and yelled down
the hall for me please not to go.
I stopped at Sarah's hotel room just to inform her and her boyfriend that I was leaving.
I drove myself for a reason.
Sarah apologizes and admits to me that Laura wasn't even in an abusive relationship prior
to me.
Her ex-boyfriend went to coffee with a coworker, who was also his childhood friend of 15
years and Laura accused him of cheating on her emotionally.
I think it's safe to say I dodged a bullet, I've deleted both of their numbers and I don't
plan on contacting any of them again.
Now on the next story, story 2.
Girlfriend refuses to tell her family about me saying it's to protect her daughter.
I'll try to make this short.
I want to know your opinion on this because maybe I'm blinded by love or something.
I'm seeing a woman that has a 13 year slash O daughter.
We met online and we've been exclusive for about 6 months now.
She lives in a nearby city, about 1, 5 hours of travel time between us.
And we see each other usually one day per week, she sleeps here usually.
She is divorced, not legally divorced yet, for about one year and is exes from the same
city as her.
I'm madly in love with this woman.
Actually, I'm pretty sure that I never liked someone as I like this girl.
I tend to be a rational guy but I guess this girl is my weak spot, so an outsider's advice
will be great.
My problem is that she doesn't want to tell her daughter about me yet and I totally understand
that.
We don't know each other that well and she has to protect the kids and she doesn't know
if the kid will be hurt by knowing her mom is seeing someone else or if she'll suffer
from an eventual breakup on our relationship, etc.
I'm fine with that but this is causing some issues in this relationship that I think
it's a bit too much, here's a summary of most of it.
I'm not allowed to go to her city because it's a small city where everyone knows each other
and someone could see us together and tell her daughter and that would break the confidence
bond they have together since the daughter wouldn't hear this from her mom but instead
from other people.
Her friends and even her mother don't know about me.
She says that it's just the way she is, she doesn't like telling other people about
her personal life and also her daughter could discover something from them if she tells
them about me.
She said she has some trust issues because of her past relationships so she doesn't trust
me 100% yet.
She told her ex that she was seeing someone.
I think this is strange as hell because it breaks everything about the previous points.
When confronted, at one point I told her it seems like on her lover she says she
liked me a lot but she's not ready yet to show me to her family and friends.
I was sure I was not her lover when we ran into her ex at a rock show.
She said that we should not kiss there so we wouldn't taunt him and don't get into
a fight but near the end of the concert she started kissing me and he eventually saw
it.
I already said I love you and it was true.
She said it to me once when she was really drunk and never said it again.
When I asked why she said that, she said she wanted to say it when she really felt it,
she didn't want it to feel forced.
So my question is, do you guys think she is still protecting her daughter or has she just
realized that we won't have a future together?
I honestly have no problem with shallow relationships.
Actually, my last year was basically that and I was pretty happy but I'm really emotionally
invested in this girl so if this relationship doesn't have a future I want to get out
of it ASAP.
I told this to her about two months ago, we almost broke up and she said she wanted another
chance to make things different because she really likes me but here we are, two months
after and everything is still the same, am I overreacting?
Is she just using me for stress relief or something?
Maybe she's using me to get her ex back.
I'm starting to get crazy.
Thank you for reading this.
More info, we started by being FWB for a month or so until my birthday when she told me
she was falling in love with me, by that point I was also developing feelings for her and
we decided to start dating.
I didn't mind all that secrecy when we were FWB but I thought that after dating things
would change.
When I told her about this, the day I told her it seemed like I was her lover, not her
boyfriend, she said my requests were reasonable and she would work on these things, it's been
two months since that talk.
When I'm not seeing much change now, about her divorce, she says that she's just too
busy to handle it right now but it's not a religious slash conservative family thing.
From what she told me, they would be totally fine with her dating before being legally
divorced since they are already separated.
On the other hand, she hasn't even started the divorce legally, that is a red flag for
sure.
Also, I want to go to her city, but she's stalling.
My limit of waiting will be a couple of months at most, it will be her birthday by then
and the way she acts will tell me a lot, where she'll be, where she'll invite me etc.
Also, I know I'm not a secret because I know for a fact that her ex saw us kissing on
a show, maybe they are in an open relationship or something, but I know for sure that I'm
not a secret to him, just to everyone else.
And yes, I'm sure it's the guy because I stalked both on Facebook when we started dating,
not my proudest moment.
But I also don't know her and she's not a fan of talking.
I eventually confessed to her that I did a background check on them and she seemed to
be cool with it.
They were together for a long time, 16 years I think.
According to her, she was the one that asked for a split because he was really sexist
and abusive.
She wasn't allowed to go out and see her friends, and every time a guy talked to her he would
be jealous as hell, etc.
She says he's not taking the divorce well and has become a more violent person according
to their mutual friends i.e. he usually didn't get into bar slash show fights, but now he's
starting to do things like he's pissed at life because he lost his girl.
It's also one of the reasons she says she doesn't want me to go to her town because
she thinks that her ex will want to fight with me.
Regarding the show, she told them about me before the show, and at the show, she said,
okay, let's just not make out so he doesn't think we're taunting him.
The show had a 10-hour duration and lots of bands.
At first, we didn't do anything.
Eventually, we started holding hands, and by the end of the show we were lightly kissing.
One of his friends sighed, and of course told him, and then he started going every 10 minutes
to where we were, but we never kissed in front of him.
I started thinking about how the guy must feel, so I didn't want to rub by stole your girl
loser.
On his face or anything.
He doesn't live with him anymore.
She lives with her mom and her daughter now.
Or at least that is what she told me, but I can't be sure because, you know, I can't visit
them.
Equals slash at this point, I'm conflicted between having a really good time together,
we really have, or having some self-respect in dumping her, and yeah, the self-respect
option should win here.
It's just that I got caught in feelings that I never had in 34 years of life.
Anyway, I'll ask for a timeline, and if she isn't able to even think about that, it'll
actually say a lot and proves that she doesn't see a future with me.
Update
So I decided to talk to her.
Unfortunately, it was via WhatsApp since we live a bit far from each other.
I'd prefer it was in person, but then I would have to wait until Saturday and I'd rather
get this out of my chest ASAP.
So, about the divorce, she says they are not together, and it's not a piece of paper
that will change anything.
She still doesn't want to talk much about why she isn't starting the legal divorce.
She did say something about him working informally, and this would complicate things on the money
split because legally slash officially, it's like he never earned any money in his life.
About the hiding me, she still insisted that it was in the best interest of her daughter
that I shouldn't be seen in her city and be known by her friends or family.
She said that unfortunately she couldn't give me a time frame of when she would be able
to change this, and she understood if it was a deal breaker for me.
So, I had no other choice but to break up with her.
She apologized for being complicated and hoped that someday we could be friends.
I still don't know if I'm happy or sad.
I really needed to get this burden off my shoulders and I know I wouldn't be able to
continue a relationship with these restrictions.
On the other hand, I can't help but think that I lost an awesome girl and maybe the one.
I know that you only got my side of the issue and you think she's a monster or something.
But it's not true.
Unless she's the greatest actress ever.
When we were arguing about this face to face two months ago, she had an explanation for
all of those issues.
Seeing deep in her eyes, I truly trusted her on all the excuses she gave and I know she's
a sweet, awesome girl and mother.
But I can't work with what she is able to give me at the moment.
And it's a bummer, anyways, life goes on.
Thank you all for the feedback and help on the previous threat.

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