Keeping Momentum

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Hi, it's Jay, I'm sitting here with Red, we are ready for another jam session.

And this week we had a special request.

We've actually had this request for a few weeks and we've been trying to work our way

up to it.

But we're going to be talking about momentum, how to keep it, how to build it, and keep it

going.

Hmm, I love that.

I mean, it's hard, right?

How do you keep going when it's hard and when you don't see the progress yet?

Especially when you start something new and you're not sure how it's going and you

might be self doubting yourself, that might have sounded weird, but I'm going to keep

it.

I think sometimes you have to just, you know, keep going.

Yeah, you have to go with the flow.

Yeah.

You have to recognize that you're going to mess up and you have to keep going anyway.

That's right.

I'm excited.

Yeah.

We're going to get into it.

So our tips on momentum, number one, you have to know what is your real goal.

What's the objective?

If you don't have a goal that makes sense, you never feel like you actually accomplish

it.

I agree.

And you know, I have a goal of mine that I am still trying to figure out and that is

get up on the alarm goes off.

And this is another podcast that we listen to and it's the five, four, three, two, one

rule, um, getting up when that alarm goes off and, you know, it's still kind of difficult,

but I feel like I'm getting close.

What can you do?

Keep going.

That's what you do.

Absolutely.

And we had had a conversation just recently that really helped, I think kind of cement

that idea in of why you're doing it.

You sharing what your reason was because it's not about just getting up out of bed as

soon as the alarm goes off.

It's about having a morning that sets you up for success.

Yes.

That was the real goal, like the real objective.

When you tell yourself like you're like, oh, I have to get up.

I got to get myself out of bed.

And you have that internal struggle.

You forget that like no, you're doing this thing for a reason and that reason does actually

make you feel good.

Like we did end up getting up together early when the alarm went off.

And I remember us having a really good morning, you know, we both had our coffee.

We both watched the news or whatever, you know, had that time to cuddle before going to

work.

That was incredible.

And then I got comfortable and our bed is so comfy.

We've covered that.

I didn't want to leave the bed.

I'm like, she looks so beautiful and cuddly and I didn't want to leave.

But having a good start to your morning is a great start to your day.

So that has been my goal and I think I'm getting close.

But yeah, starting off with I think small things to work on is important.

With anything that you're working on, I think when you start to recognize what your real

goal is, that's when things shift because until you recognize what you really want,

why you're doing it, you constantly fight yourself, you know.

So it's like, for example, weight loss, this is a really popular one.

This was one that I really was challenged in this department for so many years, not just

because of my own physical stuff, like having PCOS, you know, which is a hormone disorder.

But also just in my mind, you know, wanting something, but actively not doing the things

that make it happen and then not understanding why that is right.

So if you're someone who's struggling with weight loss, I think you have to start asking

yourself, well, what is the reason why you want to lose weight?

Is it literally like, I just want to lose weight or is it, I want to feel better in

my body?

Yes.

I want to feel more at home and comfortable with myself.

And when you can admit that, maybe you haven't felt like that in a while, that's when

things really start to shift.

Absolutely.

And when we were on this, starting the road to our weight loss journey, the biggest thing

I had to do was kick out the takeout, kick out the takeout, but that really does add.

So wanting to make healthier meals was something that I had to kind of grasp, but I have become

a stickler now.

Like if I'm craving something really good, I want to make it healthy.

And my God, 18 year old me would have been like, you're crazy.

For a long time, you were kind of resistant about trying to eat healthy.

It was like, anytime I suggested it, if I even mentioned like a vegetable or something,

you were like so resistant against it.

So here's something that kind of coalesce with this first part, right?

So when you are starting your goal and you're trying to keep with it, I think what happens

is like, especially when you're trying to lose weight, you think you have to eat bland

chicken and like vegetables and then your brain makes this very gray looking picture.

Yeah, you freak out.

Oh, yeah.

So anytime you would say chicken and vegetables with a little bit of rice, your brain makes

it look like, like those gray pictures whenever you're like, are you sick and tired of

eating this?

Right.

It's like a test to see if you're a color blind.

Yes.

Tall gray.

Yes.

It looks horrible.

And instead, what comes out is something that's beautiful.

It's filling.

If you can let it.

Yes.

Find recipes that work for you and yeah, figure out how you want to make things better.

But yeah, I definitely started off like that.

I'm like, oh, that's what we're having.

Oh.

And then we have it.

I'm like, oh, my God, don't ever let me get in your way again.

This is amazing.

Yeah.

And it just got me excited.

So having a goal that makes you excited, I think is a great, a great goal.

Yeah.

When you recognize what the real reason is, that is a huge boost to your momentum, because

finding out why you want to do something and getting in touch with that feeling of excitement

and excitement and achievement in what you're doing, it's huge.

And that connects something to you.

Now it's not just something you want to do, like getting out of bed or all losing weight

or whatever.

Now it's something that makes you feel good.

You don't just want to clean up a room.

You want to feel happy when you walk into that room.

When you recognize the feeling behind it, it boosts everything and just add a momentum

to that.

I love it.

Keep it going.

So now we're going to get into our second point about momentum.

All right.

So actually this was yours.

Building small goals and staying with them.

Hmm.

Yes.

Building goals and staying with them.

Small ones.

Tiny ones.

Tiny ones.

This is the most important part, actually, I think.

Yes.

I think pick whatever thing you think of.

Make it small and just keep it going.

Every single day.

It's going to be like a snowball effect.

Because once you can stick with that, then your brain goes, what else can I do?

So you just start keep, you just start going, you know, I have so many things that I have

worked on in my life that I have made better that I have achieved and that I have kept

going and added momentum to it.

Big, huge one and I say it all the time is weight training.

I love the feeling I have when I when I'm weight training.

I love the after.

I don't know.

The swall feel is infectious.

You're like, I want to, I need to feel that way again.

It's just, it's amazing.

And being somebody who grew up, seeing yourself kind of get bigger and not thinking, I'm

never going to be that person that would ever look like like the Hulk or something, you

know, it's a, it's a crazy transition.

And I've definitely felt momentum going into that.

It's incredible.

So yes, starting small goals and keeping with them.

Yeah, because we're not there yet.

We are maybe at like a halfway point.

Right.

I'm at a point where on a day to day basis, I know that the things that I am doing are slowly

bringing me towards the life that I want.

And I'm working on literally just trying to be a more positive, more open person and

learn from my own mistakes because I got tired of dealing with my own shit over and over

and over.

You know, that's a really good point.

State of mind and working on being more positive is a small goal.

Yeah.

Where instead of going, damn, this day is shit.

I, oh, you know, the second you think that the rest of your day is shit, unless you start

to write the ship and turn it back around.

Right.

Even if you're at work or something and like everybody around you's having a bad day, think

to yourself, I don't have to have a bad day.

Exactly.

I'm going to keep going.

I'm going to have a good day no matter what mood everybody else is in.

That's not going to be my mood.

I'm going to go home and enjoy a nice cup of coffee, have a nice snack, whatever the fuck

you're doing that day.

I just think that you could definitely control how your day is going to be based on am I going

to follow and my colleagues footsteps and have a shit day.

And the answer is no.

Right.

Not if you can recognize that you actually do have a choice.

That's right.

It isn't easy.

Sometimes you're just in a state where if you're tank ser empty, you are more emotionally

open to everybody else around you and you kind of let stuff soak in.

And when you let stuff soak in and you don't recognize what tanks are low, that's when

you come home and you just kind of like take that and you dump it out on everybody else

in your household.

Yeah.

It's not fun for anybody, but if you can set small goals daily to start just being more

mindful and being more present, there are things that you can do to build momentum.

It's just not going to happen in a day and that's okay.

I know that when we started, are we lost or any?

There were times where you end up plateauing and you lose your momentum and you go, I

don't know if I can keep with this.

I think that's where that's where it starts.

It's like, I don't think I can stay with this.

You know, there was a point where we started and we were like, you know, I'm happy with

the way I look.

Yep.

Yep.

I bought all this clothes and everything fits, everything's fine, you know, until you rip

a pair of jeans and you go, damn, my jeans are expensive.

Or in my case, you know, you get your first kidney stone, you know, you go through situations

that affect your own health and then also, you know, seeing other people and their health

stuff.

You're trying to start writing the ship and the truth is there's no such thing as too

late.

As long as you are still living and breathing and and willing, really, you can start to work

on stuff.

I think that's goal number one, yeah, stay alive.

I don't know how many times, honestly, in my journey, I had a false start.

I would start stop.

I would say I was going to do all this stuff.

I'd start for a little bit.

I would get stuck.

I would plateau, like you said, I would let it get to my head and I would give up.

And then, you know, some time would go by and then I would start to get that feeling

again.

I'm like, no, like I could be working on this.

And then, you know, I try to do it again and then I get stuck and then I'd stop.

And it wasn't until I really started to think about why I wanted to do certain things.

And then setting myself up on a daily basis, visual reminders, talking about what the

goal is really, you know, and trying to keep those things in mind because you will plateau.

You will have times where you just feel stock.

And in those moments if you can start looking at what did I do get?

Would I do get down what did I do get down today?

What did I do get down today?

Anyway, what did I get done today seriously?

You would be shook if you really thought

about the things that you do on a daily basis

that most of the time you don't have the energy for.

Most of the time you feel like shit,

you don't feel like doing stuff,

but guess what, you're still there,

you're putting in that effort,

you're putting in that energy.

If you start recognizing that,

the baby steps that you're taking on a daily basis,

it grows.

It does, and it gets bigger and bigger,

and yeah, snowball effect.

Tyler Reddick here from 2311 Racing,

another checkered flag for the books.

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Keep that momentum.

It's an awesome thing.

That's gonna be the game changer.

Before you let yourself quit,

you have to ask yourself our final point for momentum,

which is, has there been progress on my part?

In any area, right?

Let's say you're working on weight loss,

because that's the one that we've been kind of talking about.

Yes.

Okay.

Has there been progress?

Did you do even the slightest bit better

than you did the day before?

Then guess what?

That's worth celebrating.

Every day, if you can ask yourself,

what did I do?

What progress did I keep?

And if you didn't do anything,

did you slide back?

And if you slid back,

did you slide back as far back as last time?

Every little bit matters.

And when you start giving yourself credit for that?

The more momentum that you give yourself,

the goals that you give yourself and learn from it

and keep it going,

these are the things that are gonna sculpt you.

And it's sculpting you into the better version of you,

the best version of you,

because you know what,

the things that you want to do,

you may have aspirations of doing something

where you're like,

I wish I could do that.

No, there it is.

I wish.

Now it's up there.

I wish I could.

Yeah.

Put that into motion.

Write it down.

Right.

Is that anything that you want to achieve?

Write it down.

I love that.

And this is on every possible level.

This isn't just about weight loss.

This is about,

do you want to be in a relationship

or do you want to be in a happy, meaningful,

loving relationship?

Yes.

So many people end up getting into situations

because they think,

well, I don't want to be,

I don't want to be single

or at least I'm not blank.

Right.

And that's the wrong way to go.

I loved what you said about,

you know, finding like the person

that you are meant to be

and getting inspired by that.

So if everything else so far has resonated with you,

but you're not quite there yet,

I'm going to offer you one more thing.

Hold on a sec.

It's on the charger.

I

Did work out this our work today. I'm feeling it

Okay, I'm good now. Okay. There will be days when you do not want to do the things

that you know are good for you. Yes. Okay. It's just part of life. And there are days where you are

are literally dragging yourself out of bed to do even just that little bit better than the day before.

And I know that it sucks. This is why in our last episode we talked about that feeling of swimming

against the tide. You know, it's hard. If you're a person who struggles with motivation

and keeping that momentum, I have a suggestion for you. Now, okay, full disclaimer, I stole this

from another podcast. Okay. But when I listened to it, it resonated with me and I wanted to put it to

the test. So the suggestion was to change your phone background into a picture of yourself as a

child. Now, if you don't like the pictures of you as a kid, totally get it. Just a close-up of the

face will also work. But there's a reason for this. You could absolutely have your phone background

as something obscure abstract, your friends, your pets, whatever your family. That's all fine.

But something about actually seeing the young you and meeting those eyes and thinking about

like the things that you wanted for yourself as a child and then seeing that in yourself as an

adult. That connection to yourself really opens things up. Yes, it does. So that's me. That's my

picture. I don't know if they can see that. Hopefully. And she cute. I think it's black now. Oh, no.

Boom. That's me. Okay. And the reason why I did this for myself and I use her as my momentum is

because she, she deserved an adult who took care of herself. That's right. She deserved a body that

she felt comfortable in. She deserved the, it's my job to be the kind of adult that she needed.

Yeah. And the kind of adult that she needed was someone

who took care of themselves and claimed responsibility. And so that's it. That's the biggest momentum

reason you have is to just be the kind of person that young you needed. Because so many people,

millions of people I imagine are all struggling with carrying things that were probably put on them

by their parents in a completely unintentional way. Yeah. You know, it's hard. But being an adult

that makes her proud makes me proud. That is so powerful. And I am so proud of the person

that you've become. Thank you. I'm proud of me, too. It's been a journey. I mean it. I mean,

you have been through so much. She would be so proud of you. Thank you.

And you know, I think that's the ultimate goal is to become the person little you wanted to be.

Because it's never too late. No. So start small work your way.

It's not going to happen in a day. But it will happen. And it can't happen.

And when you find a way to start enjoying the journey, you know, you're not where you want to be

yet. But you know that you're working on it, that you're trying, and that you're not just saying

that you're actively doing something about it. There is no bigger momentum than that.

Yeah. I know a lot of it is, you know, kind of deep. But when you're really thinking about

your life and what you're you're working towards, this is the stuff that keeps you going.

I think the whole concept of momentum and having goals, especially for somebody who

may feel like they're constantly setback is extremely hard. Because goals alone is an easy thought.

Momentum is an easy thought. The part that's difficult for people to grasp onto is the starting point.

Because anything that they're like, oh, like I wish I was an author or oh, I wish I was this.

Where do you think all of these famous people started? It started with an idea.

That's where you need to start. You need to start with an idea like any kind of thing that you wish

you could do, start doing research, start learning. It's not impossible. You're right.

I know at least two instruments. I had to start. Oh, I think I was like 12

banging on a guitar with drumsticks. I don't know what the hell I was doing. I just knew it sounded good.

And then I go from that years later, I'm making the intro for the podcast. It's crazy. I didn't think

I didn't think about it like that before. But like that right there, when you're a kid, what is your

goal? Start small, work your way up. And even if it is a simple thing like weight loss, which it's

it's not easy. But it takes determination. It takes having that goal sticking with it,

creating that momentum, which we have developed. And it's an awesome thing to watch the progression.

And yeah, I'm sorry, but I'm little you would be so freaking proud. And I'm very proud.

I want you to know, okay, that little you would be absolutely shook to see

how your life turned out. And how amazing is that to feel? You know, and this is not to say that

everything's perfect. Okay, we have too much debt. We have so much stuff that we want to do.

We have a lot more weight left to lose. We do not have all the answers. We are just two people

who are sitting down having the hard talks because I genuinely believe it. It can help people.

We are two people who care who want to figure it out, who want to share it.

That's it. Because there are too many people out there struggling when you need guidance.

And most of the people out there don't have somebody to be like, you can do it.

Yeah. You know, most people go, fuck it, quit, done. That's real fucking selfish.

You want to create something? You got to start. That's exactly what we did.

And the rest is going to be fixed too.

Every day we're building it a little bit more one day at a time. It's not easy, but it's worth it.

Yes. There are days that I don't want to go to the gym. There are days that I don't want to do the

podcast. But then I think about the six months that I let the stuff just hit. When I knew that we had

an idea and it felt like we were called to do it. But it just genuinely felt like we weren't ready.

Like nobody was going to care who's going to want to listen to us. Yeah.

And having to shake all of that off. And that's why I had to figure out what I was doing it for.

And I realized that I was doing it for a little me because she needed somebody to give her a

relationship advice that was not based on where another person was in their relationship.

You know, with all due respect because everyone has done that. Single people want you to be single,

married people want you to be married people with kids want you to have kids. That doesn't necessarily

mean that that's the momentum that you need. No. And I just want to add one last thing.

If you're a person that has been going through stuff and you just keep getting test after

test after test. And you are like, it is really fucking hard to keep this momentum going,

Jay, because I just keep getting hit left and right. I want to point out two things. One,

if you are already working on yourself and you know it, you have got a heart and you are trying

your best. That's all you to keep pushing through because you get tested the most right before

things turn a corner. Oh, yeah. Always. Okay. Take it by when you're driving a car and you make

that turn. You're like, and then you're right back on. You're like, I don't know if we're going to

make it. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. You're absolutely right about that. And if it's a situation where you

really know you don't feel comfortable, things have been off or whatever. And then you just keep

getting no after no after no. That's a good sign that it's time to reevaluate. Are you gaining

momentum towards the thing that's actually going to make you happy? Or are you getting told no, no,

no, because that thing that you think you want is not all it's cracked up to be. It's not actually

meant for you. Don't settle. No. Don't settle on a bad relationship. Don't settle on

less than what you are than what you're worth. Yeah. And if you're in a relationship and you're

finding yourself struggling and you're like, I don't know what we're doing or whatever. We've

been there. We have been there multiple times. Okay. It is hard when your relationship gets tested

and that's the thing that you need the momentum for. That's why you got to check in with each other.

Yes. And this is why every episode that we do, we try to make each thing not only relatable but

just so that they run into each other so that they make sense together. Yes. Beautifully said.

She's great. Thank you. And I did not fucking settle.

I appreciate that. I did not settle either. Yeah. We grew together. We were supposed to and we

got very lucky with that because a lot of people, you know, don't find their person as young as

as we were. But we are showing you examples of when you find your person, what can happen?

It took us going through so much change to get here. But if we can do it, it means you can do

it too. We're not special. We're just doing our best. So like when you're first starting off,

I think like the way we did, I don't think we knew what it actually was that was keeping us like

going. Yeah. Because we went through so much. And it's determination. You are my person.

You are the one who gets me. I can't imagine my life without you.

Whatever the fuck this argument is, is not, it's not worth ending things, you know. Yeah.

You're going to screw up. Yeah, you're going to make the bad decisions and you have to learn from

those things. You can't look at yourself. Oh my god, I'm such a fuck up because I keep doing that

thing. If you already know that you're doing that thing and you're like, oh man, stop that.

Just go, you know what? And when I see it, I see that. I don't want it.

You know, whatever that thing is that's keeping you from moving forward, destroy it.

Done. You know, you know, how they have this phrase or whatever, like, oh, people are two puzzle

pieces that fit together. I think it's more complicated than that way more. I think it's

together. You are the puzzle. But the two of you have a bunch of millions of little pieces

that you are putting together. Yeah. So if you've been putting the puzzle together wrong,

it's okay to just start over. Like, we need to fix this. Get rid of the parts that don't work.

It's hard, but it's so worth it. That's such a great analogy. Yeah. Both of you sit down and

just work on your puzzle. Yeah. There's a bunch of uncompleted puzzles. Yeah. Like, I really like

purple. I'm not sure what you've been having this one piece in that area and you're like,

this clearly does not fit there. How many pieces of sky do we have? Right. Everything looks blue.

Right. This is clearly grass. Yes. This is not supposed to be here. This doesn't go up in this

sky. Yeah. Can't do that. I really enjoyed this episode. Oh, it's so much fun. It's something

we're actively working on literally every day. And I think our episode show it. Right. And that

makes me really happy too. I love doing this real talk with you and sharing this with you people.

And I want you guys to know, and I'm going to say this in every episode is that you're worth it.

You're worth the change. Yes. You're worth feeling happy. Know yourself worth. Don't give up and

focus on your goals. And until next time, keep jamming and take care of each other. We'll see you next

week.

We have to go in blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Woooh!

Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And you already double-checked to you like, can hear us.

Yes.

All right.

All right.

So, then.

We are ready to go.

We're ready to go.

All right.

Tyler Reddick here from 2311 Racing.

Victory lane?

Yeah!

It's even better with chamba by my side.

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