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Not gonna lie, last week I had a proud mom moment
and it tied perfectly into today's episode
and you can hold up, hold up.
Well, you'll see. Let's get this podcast started.
Welcome back to Not Gonna Lie a Wave original brought to you by Dordash.
When life happens, Dordash is there.
I'm your host Kylie Kelsey, a retired Irish dancer.
Oh no, it's not good guys.
I'm retired for quite some time. It's pretty bad.
I can't think about literally anything besides
the Donna Kelsey home renovation.
Don't worry, we'll circle back to that.
And guys, I might have a mini me.
That's right, based on all the comments on the other podcast clip of Ellie
saying she loves Uncle Traffy and Randy Moss.
It seems like there's exactly one Ellie facial expression
that has the real ones finally giving me credit for the children.
I burp. Yep, you guessed it.
It's when she says, no.
She was polite about it though.
She just said, no, she didn't say with attitude.
She just said it like matter of fact.
Someone said at Kylie Kelsey, Ellie's face when she says no
is all you, mama.
Someone else said the way Ellie says no to him
and gives him the eye.
Kylie, come get your mini me.
Girl, I'm okay with this.
Guys, everyone knows no is a full sentence.
To be fair, there's still infinite number of comments
that say how she looks just like Traff.
So, speaking of, congratulations to Travis
in the second biggest story of the week.
He's officially decided to return to the chiefs for his 14th season.
That's very exciting.
We're very excited to cheer on the chiefs again.
And we hope that they fucking crush it
because go Uncle Traff and go chiefs.
I said it.
Also go birds.
All right, now that that's been addressed
back to the rundown coming up on today's episode.
The Oscars are this Sunday.
And since I've seen zero of the 10 best picture nominees
literally none of them, I'm going to talk about.
I couldn't even, I don't even think I could name two of them.
I'm going to take a little turn on that and I'm going to talk
about some of the movies and TV shows that I have seen
thanks to my tiny humans in NGL's second annual
Screen Time Awards.
After that, I'm going to be joined by NHL wife Meredith Goodrow,
who I'm absolutely honored wanted to share her story with me.
We're going to talk about her late husband,
Johnny's tribute at the Olympics, grief,
and what's next for her as she helps other families
and carries on his legacy.
But before all of that, let's start with a couple NGL announcements.
First up, we're taking next week off
because I frankly haven't stopped moving in months
and I just simply want to sit down.
I want to sit my butt down for a couple days
and not do anything, which means I will be doing everything
for my children.
That's how I like it.
But the good news is we'll be back March 26 with my one-year postpartum special.
Oh my gosh, I can't believe it's been one whole year since
Finley and Kelsey came into the world.
That's nuts.
Remember when I podcasted with her 48 hours after giving birth?
That was crazy behavior.
And I do it again.
Real one, send us all your questions about postpartum at NGL with Kylie.
Next, in even more good news in a couple weeks,
you might be meeting a new Kelsey.
Because you're getting the cuddliest, cutest,
furious FFO of them all on March 31.
And that's all I have to say about that for now.
Meow, I'm kidding.
Am I?
I don't know you'll have to tune in and find out.
Isn't that kind of fun?
Okay, next up, Doom Scroll the Week.
Brought to you by DoorDash.
We all know life gets crazy.
DoorDash just helps bring a little order to it.
First up on Doom Scroll, I haven't been on Twitter in months.
But there was news so shocking and groundbreaking.
Even I had to pop over and check it out.
And I'm, of course, talking about the Donna Kelsey
home renovation of 2026.
For anyone who doesn't know,
the highly reputable expert reporters over here at TMZ
broke the story at exactly 8 p.m.
on March the 7th.
Okay, the headline says,
Travis and Jason Kelsey's mom Donna
remodeling her modest Florida home.
When I found out the news, I was in our home
days before this news actually dropped.
When my mother-in-law herself told me
that her plans going home were to get new windows.
And that was a little earth shattering for me
because Donna, she is well organized.
She is far more structured than anyone that lives in our house.
And so when I heard that she had scheduled this,
really just crazy remodel of getting her windows replaced.
I thought, well, Donna, we did do something for yourself.
Way to make sure that your house is sound and,
you know, ready for any of that Florida weather you might get.
And also,
her home is beautiful.
And so if it needed updating, obviously,
she would be the one to take care of that.
Because like I said, she's on top of that kind of stuff.
The article actually revealed that nine windows
and she got nine windows and six doors replaced.
I have a couple questions about this.
I don't know that she has six doors in her house.
Minor detail, but I get it.
I'm not surprised by the number of windows because,
I mean, Donna chose to live in Orlando, Florida.
She likes fresh air and good weather.
So like, obviously, you want good windows and a lot of them.
I might check in with Donna just in case.
I would love to know if there's sliders going in.
Maybe some French doors.
I wonder if there's screens on the doors to get a nice
through breeze, you know,
a little crosswind through the house.
Maybe a bay window.
That would be exciting.
A little like a little reading look.
Stop it.
That'd be cute.
I'll have to check with her.
I really wanted to make sure that we address this on today's episode.
Because I think that the gravity of this
this article was important to address.
I think that it was really, really important
that this hit the internet when it did.
I think that it was timely.
I think they did great investigative journalism,
even if they got the numbers wrong.
Go to job TMZ.
You did it.
And in our last Doom Scroll the Week,
friend of the show, Alison Kooch,
is in her third trimester and crying about hot dogs.
And as someone who has been there four times,
can confirm totally normal response.
I actually got Tiriide watching this the first time
that I saw it.
I know this is going to be really dramatic, but I think...
All I'm craving is a fucking hot dog.
That's how you do it.
I don't want to fucking eat egg whites and spinach.
I want a fucking hot dog.
Oh my god, with chili on it.
The with chili on it is so good.
I teared up watching it because when you are pregnant,
and this is not for everyone,
but I do feel like I had this.
You feel your emotion so hard and aggressively
that it doesn't need a rhyme or reason.
It doesn't.
And I mostly experienced aversion.
There was one time for three weeks
that I thought to myself,
all I want is shrimp pasta.
I want shrimp with pasta.
And I want it to be cooked a certain way
and I want it to be buttery and garlicky and delicious.
And three weeks went by of me being like,
no, I really want shrimp pasta.
And so I went to the store and I got all the ingredients
and I came home and I made the shrimp pasta.
And I took one bite and I started crying.
And Jason said, what's wrong?
And I said, I don't want to eat this.
So I understand the tears about food,
although mine were often negative,
which really sent me.
But a great answer to these random pregnancy cravings
is door dash.
And I'm going to tell you,
as someone who had aversion equally as important
because this is what happens,
you'd go on to door dash,
you tell your husband, order something.
He says, I don't know what do you want.
I said, no, no, I don't need to know what we're getting.
I'm not allowed to know until it shows up
because if I think about it too long,
I won't want it.
You think I sound like a crazy person.
I was a crazy person because I was pregnant.
And so I would give him the phone
and lucky for me, door dash saves your preferences.
So he wasn't even going to fuck it up
because door dash knew what I wanted, okay?
And he would go in and he would order us stuff
and it would come to the house and then I would eat it
because I didn't get to think about it
and because he got me something I wanted.
And it was beautiful and I loved that
because it was the only time that I actually could
stomach eating food sometimes.
So fuck you aversions.
How about that?
That's it for Doom Scroll the Week.
Brought to you by DoorDash.
All right, moving on.
Let's get right into our second annual
Scream Time Awards.
Brought to you by Oli Pop.
A reminder for any of the real ones
who didn't see the first annual Scream Time Awards
because I'm so bad at keeping up with pop culture
and because I have four children,
I pretty much only have time to watch
the Frozen franchise over and over and over again.
So these awards are for all the shit
I have actually seen this year.
Hmm, is Slim Pickens.
And I might have reached new high
s***s of being out of the loop in 2026
because I'm nearly positive,
like I said at the beginning,
I know I have not seen a single
best picture nominee this year,
but just for shits and giggles.
Queen, I was asking what do I know
about any of these 10 films?
I'm going to go right out of the gate here.
I know that F1 is starring Brad Pitt.
And the only reason I know that
is because when I go into Apple TV
on our TV to find my kids programming,
there's an advertisement for it right at the top.
I know one battle after another
because Regina Hall,
who was one of our guests on NGL,
she came on to discuss her role
in one battle after another.
What the f*** is HamNet?
HamNet? HamNet?
This is not a bit, guys.
I have no f***ing clue what these movies are.
So now that we covered that,
I'm sure you got a lot out of it.
Let's get to what I have seen multiple times
with the Screen Time Awards.
Thank you, Queen Emma.
These are our top secret envelopes.
And our first category this year
is movies that somehow haven't been ruined
by Wyatt turning the volume up to 80.
Yep.
Wyatt likes to drown me out
when I speak to her or I speak in the living room.
If Jason and I try to have a conversation on the couch,
Wyatt, if she has access to the room,
will actually turn the volume up so loud
that she can no longer hear us speaking.
Which in turn, we can no longer hear our self-speaking
and we have to promptly ask her to turn it down.
It's a fun game we're playing.
Anyway, the nominees are
Zootopia,
Tangled,
Frozen,
or AquaMarine.
And the winner is
AquaMarine.
Yes, it actually has some bops.
Let me tell you.
And so even if it is up at 80,
we can have a little dance party.
And also they love to talk about Raymond.
If you don't know about him,
he's the heartthrob in the movie.
And I'm pretty sure many things they're getting married.
It's fine.
Our next category is my best chance
at a tantrum-free ride to the shore.
Yeah, we got about an hour and a half in the car.
Sometimes longer.
And I bargain with the idea that
the car TV only turns on.
That's right when you're on long car rides.
So we're sticking with it.
I swear to God if anyone tells my kids
that the TV works at all on all car rides,
consider yourself done.
They've told classmates at school
that that's how that works,
which is incredible.
And the nominees are
The Little Mermaid,
Aqua Marine,
Wreck It Ralph,
or Tots.
Wonder who will win.
The award goes to
Wreck It Ralph.
I know.
It's a little surprising.
But for some reason,
everyone can get down with it right now.
And specifically for some reason when we're in the car.
I don't ask questions, guys.
If they agree on something,
if three of my children agree on the same thing,
you can bet your bound dollar I am not arguing.
Nope, I won't put that sucker on real quick.
And now the return of a category
that needs no further introduction.
Are you fucking kidding me, Jason?
They can't watch this.
Last year, the film RRR famously won.
That's right.
If you haven't seen RRR,
don't watch it when children are around.
But my husband's party trick was putting it on.
That's right when my children were around.
To be clear, great movie.
Stellar Cinematic
Expertise going on there.
Okay.
Anyway, you're nominees for 2026R,
Predator Badlands.
This one's fun because Jason actually
didn't know that why it was still awake.
She told him the next day
when she asked him about what he was watching.
And he said, what do you mean?
And she started describing Predator badlands.
And then he realized that she had come out
and sat on the step
and watched the TV from there.
When she was supposed to be asleep.
So that's fun.
And tombstone.
And the screen time award goes to
tombstone because he knowingly put it on
while they were in the room.
All right, the mother of all of them,
the last category recognizes
extraordinary achievements in doom scrolling.
AKA the Lifetime Achievement Award
for an internet video
that dominates my everyday thoughts.
And the nominees are
she came down in a bubble, Doug.
If you don't know this clip,
you're about to.
And I hope it lives in your head, rent-free.
Her sister was a witch, right?
And what was her sister?
A princess.
The witch, the witch of the East, girl.
I'm going to stab them.
You're going to look at me and you're going to tell me
that I'm wrong.
Am I wrong?
Life is wrong.
She won't cry when she came down in a bulking belt.
I'm not fighting with you.
Grow off, I'm not fighting with you.
Grow off.
Get educated.
I literally, that literally,
oh, I love it so much.
I love it so much.
And I'm going to tell you one of my proud mom moments.
Why I came home from school recently
and they did something at school related to
the Wizard of Oz.
And she said that she told them
she wore a crown and she came down in a bubble, Doug.
I, that, you know, every time,
every so often you get a glimmer of hope with your children.
And that was a strong one.
This is another clip that
I can't quite explain why it scratches an itch in my brain so hard.
But let's see the clip.
This is, I believe it's chip.
But we're going to find out when I see his nose.
Smacks the table because God is good all the time.
If you know, you know.
Uh-oh, okay.
Okay, he said scoot over.
Everything that he is saying, first of all,
the three individuals sitting at this table,
inviting him in.
Yes, let's see.
Scripture says right it down.
Yes, can you see I'm watching a couple of times.
When everyone hits the table at the same time,
outstanding timing.
Hallelujah.
Wait for him to.
Amen.
All the time.
Nailed it.
Oh my God.
The head nod and everybody says it at the same time.
And everyone is in sync.
And for some reason, the joy that they are having
just creeps out of my phone into my soul.
And I love it.
And I can't explain why.
This next clip is a clip we've quoted on the show
because well done.
Mac and cheese.
Oh, mac and cheese.
Okay.
There is a mac and cheese taste test going on.
Yeah.
Yep.
That might be white cheddar.
Behind.
I love this so much.
It's it's okay.
I'm going to play the 7 out of 10.
The fact that she says.
Yuck.
With extra syllables.
And then says it's okay.
Perfection.
Absolute perfection.
And your 2026 lifetime achievement award winner is.
You already knew what was about to happen.
Hold up, hold up, hold up.
She wore a crown and she came down in a bubble dug.
I can't help myself.
It's been a long standing favorite of mine.
There's t-shirts on Etsy if you want to get one
with the entire dialogue.
Panned out.
So yeah.
And you guys might have guessed this,
but just like last time,
the cards are blank.
Woo!
Look, I'm prepared to be shook.
They're all blank.
That's it for the second annual screen time awards
brought to you by Oli Pop.
I'll be right back.
As a parent,
Dordash has always been there for me
when I needed them most.
We all know life gets crazy.
Dordash just helps bring a little order to it.
This past week,
when Ellie is birthday popped up,
I did need to find a way to get balloons.
I definitely Dordash that.
Because it was the fastest way that it was going to get there.
And I needed to ensure that the morning she woke up,
it was birthday start to finish.
Dordash came in clutch with that one.
Life with kids is wildly unpredictable.
No matter how much parents try to plan,
there's always going to be chaos.
Being able to offload a few to-dos
and give a little more time to focus on yourself
and your family is huge.
When life happens, Dordash is there.
Real life needs real relief.
That's why Dordash is there
for whatever you need,
whenever you need it.
We all know life gets crazy.
Dordash just helps bring a little order to it.
It's March, so that means I don't have just one child's birthday,
but two in my dads.
And another one the last week of February
if we're getting technical.
So that means a whole lot of extra planning.
On top of the day-to-day chaos of a house with four children,
a husband and a large dog.
So when I need a moment for myself,
you can bet your bottom dollar.
I'm cracking open a nice cold olipop in the kitchen
and standing in silence.
I can hear the crisp hiss of it opening.
I love a nice unexpected treat
and that applies to the olipop and the silence.
What are my favorite flavors of olipop?
I'm so glad you asked, Queen Emma.
My favorite one is always going to be Cream Soda.
A close second is the root beer.
And I do like the Shirley Temple
to just mix it up a little bit.
Olipop is a great little pick me up in your day
and something you can actually look forward to drinking.
And you can get a free can of olipop
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The real ones know my stance on ice cream.
It's not my favorite dessert,
but Yasuo kind of came in clutch
and changed the frozen game.
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And luckily for big families with lots of different taste,
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They have flavors like strawberry and cream,
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I'm a big mint chocolate chip girly,
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Before I introduce today's guests,
the real ones know we like to have fun on here,
but I've always tried to make sure
that with this podcast,
we talk about things that are meaningful.
One way I like to do that is by creating a safe space,
particularly for women,
even more particularly for women in sports.
So I'm very honored that our guest today, Meredith Kadrow,
wanted to share her story with me.
I think that it is so important to not only talk about grief,
but to have an opportunity to have Meredith talk
about the love of her life and their life together.
And hopefully that helps other people processing.
I know that that is one of the reasons
that Meredith speaks up about her grief now.
This is Meredith opening up
about the unimaginable tragedy she and her family faced
in losing her husband, Johnny,
and her brother-in-law Matthew in August of 2024.
And she's now continuing his legacy,
most recently with their children alongside
our gold medal winning men's hockey team at the Olympics.
Meredith, thank you so much for joining,
not gonna lie today.
For anyone who doesn't know,
we actually have a lot in common.
You're a fellow, Philly, and Jersey Shore girl.
You're a mom of three tiny humans.
And you've been in the professional hockey world
while I've been over on the football side.
Yes.
I'm so glad we're getting the chance to meet.
So thank you so much for coming to chat.
Thank you.
This is very exciting.
I actually do want to share it.
You guys were just at the Olympics.
Yeah.
Were you there?
We were.
Okay, because I saw,
I feel like we're a little champs passing in the night,
a little bit.
Yeah.
We should stop doing that.
I know.
Okay.
How was your time in Milan?
Did you guys enjoy it?
It was great.
Yeah, we were there for literally four days.
So the kids stayed on East Coast time,
which was really fun.
But wasn't that crazy?
We tried to do the same thing.
I left Thursday, right Friday,
and then went to the game that night.
I saw you guys on the big screen.
My husband?
Yes.
Because he was wearing the same hat
that like my daughter brought home.
Like that, of course he was.
Of course he was.
It was a flower that's indigenous to the mountains.
Okay, that makes sense.
Yes.
Because she was wearing it the other day and I was like,
it was a children's hat.
I can confirm it was intended.
I believe for children.
Yeah.
But in Paris, he had his beret
that he put all of his pins on.
And so he needed a hat to put his pins on
and someone very graciously gave him that one on gel.
Shout out to Angel,
got him that hat on our production team in Milan.
So we went to the game that night.
Next day, had the day off.
We went up to Belagio.
Yes.
Above Como.
Sunday woke up.
It was Johnny's birthday.
Went to the gold medal game
and then woke up Monday and left.
So that was Johnny's birthday
when they won the gold medal.
His second birthday.
Yeah.
That's so cool.
Yeah, it's very special.
What a great birthday celebration.
Yeah, I know.
I felt like everything felt a perfect place.
Yeah.
Gosh, that was great.
And staying on East Coast time.
So what time were they going to bed?
Like 1 a.m.
Two.
Yep.
Look.
Johnny tried.
We tried that.
I tried to put him to bed.
And then I was like,
he was just tossing and training for three hours.
He was like, all right, we'll just go back downstairs.
Yes.
Run around.
So he awake.
He was fine when we got home.
There was no.
Is that not the most needed?
It's the so like parenting in a different zip code.
I always say when you go on trips,
it's just parenting in a different zip code.
I know.
People were like, this is amazing.
You got to go here.
You got to try this.
I was like, I am not on vacation.
I'm just, I hope the room service can speak for Italy
because that's, that's it.
And it was great.
Delicious.
Sure no matter where you eat in Italy.
Yeah.
The pasta and the bread are going to be outstanding.
And a million other things.
We already talked about this,
but don't come after me for saying only pasta and bread.
I'm a carb girl.
Me too.
So they nailed our hotel nailed it too.
It was so good.
I had a focaccia.
I ate one every single.
Queenum is nodding her head
because I made her eat it too.
I ate one every single day.
We were there.
I ordered pizza, like room service pizza as you show,
like a side pasta.
I was like, which one should I try?
They were like, this is a hotel.
They were like, we're actually not known for this.
Now we're actually recording this today
in our Philly studio because one, we love Philly.
That's right.
And two, you're in town visiting family.
Yep.
You are a Delco girlie.
Is that right?
Well, I grew up in Malvern, kind of Chester County,
but oh, okay.
My parents grew up in Delco, so that counts.
I technically grew up most of my life in Montgomery County.
So, but we moved back to Delco the second we had a chance.
So, I like to claim Delco, although people love
to get me on technicalities all the time.
Yeah, my dad does that so hard.
He'll be like, I won't say, I'm a Delco boy.
He's like, you kind of live in Malvern,
but you left them here.
It is better than the people who live in South Jersey
and say they're from Philly.
That's right.
So we can live with that.
We can live with ourselves there.
Is it safe to assume go birds?
Absolutely.
Yes.
I knew this was the answer.
Of course.
I knew it in my heart.
Were you a flyers fan as well?
Yeah, just Philly's fan.
I'd see anything.
Yes.
Now, what teams did you follow the most closely in your house?
Because we were in Eagles Philly's house.
Okay.
My dad was definitely Philly's flyers.
Okay.
But every Philly, any Philly sport team,
but probably the Philly's.
Okay.
Now, you go to Abwon.
Yep.
Do you ever feel, for those of you who don't know,
the Jersey Shore, the Jersey Shore that we go to,
collectively, is not the Jersey Shore,
and I've mentioned this on the show a couple of times,
is not the Jersey Shore that you might catch J-WOW at.
It's not what you're thinking.
It's not.
It's some good, clean family fun,
very little gym tan and laundry.
It's different.
But do you ever feel inclined
to just be less cool by a mile
and to come one stop north of where you are
because you go to Abwon.
Yeah.
We are a Seattle family through and through.
Just pass right by it.
It's literally one stop ahead of Abwon.
So we have a shorter commute.
I know.
Sometimes I'm like, wow, I would be here by now.
You get it.
I'd love to talk some more about Abwon
because I hear that's where you and Johnny met.
Yeah, we did.
And from the article that you wrote,
you guys met at the Princeton?
Well, we were actually next door neighbors.
So like, you know, down the shore,
your houses are on top of each other.
Yes.
Like you can't be outside hanging out on top.
You're down the shore with your neighbors.
Yes.
You can't be outside at the same time,
not knowing exactly what they're talking about
or everything about them.
So that's how we met.
And then we went out that night to the Princeton.
And we're like, oh, here we are again.
The only place to be.
How much hockey knowledge did you have when you met
your husband?
Just, no, not like, I didn't know the rules.
I didn't know off sides.
You know, I would thank you so much for bringing this up.
No.
Because I just had to be coached up at the Olympics.
Yeah.
Watching the women's game for icing.
That's a hard one.
Thank you so much for saying that.
I did not know that either.
That means a lot.
Because I was like, I don't understand.
And like, why are they sprinting for it?
Yes.
And then they just, I just never got that.
And then they knew the whistle.
Thank you so much.
I guess they can't cross a couple of the lines.
Yeah.
With no one touching it.
It's shaky and icing.
I don't know why you're now.
We'll figure it out.
You can teach me off sides.
And we'll get Jason to teach us icing.
This is great.
We'll figure it out.
He was a hockey player in like through high school.
He loves ice hockey.
He loves to get in to like a little bit of mens league or something.
Well, he's creaky.
Well, that's what I call it.
He's creaky.
He gets up out of bed and he's like, less natural.
I feel it.
So I kind of don't know.
I know, right?
We're all creaky.
Now, when you met your husband, what drew you to him?
I notice his style.
He just kind of stood out for some reason.
And I was like, I don't know why, he's so cute in his little fit of jeans.
but uh that's it out and um you'd like
pinks. I just thought he his look just overall appearance just stood out to me.
Do you still remember meeting like you you can picture meeting him for the first time?
Yeah, it wasn't anything crazy. He just came over for my sister's birthday pre-game.
His friends were already over so I opened like the back sliding door because our houses were
on the bay so you know it's go around the back. Yep and um I was like I just opened the
door and said your friends are upstairs because you know the houses are upside down and he was just
like I remember he said hi I'm Johnny and I was like hi your friends are upstairs
and then hi bye that was really it and then um
because I really wasn't partaking in this pre-game um and then when my sister gave me a hard time
and I got changed and I came out and I was like same girl it that was me like they're like
who's this one yeah and I just took off my gross day clothes sorry like I didn't like that different
but I guess I do from I'm going to the prince and guys I'm dressed up I'm not going to the OD I'm
going to the prince scenes we're going to the prince since May 8th gotta go gotta know before I go
get changed yeah um that was really it and then um the day after you know I was like are you still
down the shore like you know you know when somebody's home down the shore yeah and then um
we went out on the jet skis and then I was working night shift at chop um so I would
do the commute because I wanted to see him and then he I came to learn later like he was staying
down the shore because I was coming back but he was staying overnight down the shore alone which
I didn't realize till later was like very unlike him yeah because he never liked to be alone and
it was the weekday now his siblings and his parents were back working but he was staying down the
shore and I was like oh it's because I'm coming back it feels very like summer love story um and
the gift of the shore keeps on giving because you also got engaged at the Jersey Shore yeah in
Avalon I'm guessing you know I want to do that and see how weird we're real close we're right on
the inlet on the jetty yes I could see CIO perfect I think it might be in the background of our
beautiful photos yeah um on his scale I wanted to tell him how surprised were you I was shocked
were you shocked yeah because it was just the next summer no was it anything no two summers later
I literally do this too no whenever anyone's like a timeline and I'm like kiss my ass
I was like wow at all I think I can pull dates out like that because we met at the end of the
summer mm-hmm that first summer then the next summer we had together right and then the next summer
got engaged and I was like whoa like people were shocked that like oh Johnny Goodrow has a
girlfriend Johnny Goodrow is getting engaged and I was like no one was more shocked than me like
I swear because he had to go away for the bubble it was like the covid
they were finishing up their season after the big pause so he was away for like
six weeks um July into August and then came home proposed like the next night so I was like
that was not on my radar like I was also had just worked and it was another one of the I was like
post shift mm-hmm so pretty much anything could happen to me that day I'm not going to notice I was
so tired but it was perfect it was really nice that's amazing um who took the photos because you
actually have photo evidence that this hadn't are sisters my sister Lily and his sister Katie
they were they they tell a really funny story because they were getting eaten alive by the flies
sure so they were hiding the dunes for a while wearing their hats and it was funny because when
they came running after he proposed and took a lot more photos I was like oh wow you got a
photographer like I was just so can you know caught off guard and I was like oh my god it's Lily and
Katie like so oh we know them I was like okay so I was like wow this is so thought out right
it was just really cool because the jetty was one of those spots that I showed him
what I was like oh my favorite part my favorite spot in apple honest this jetty and he was like why
I think it's just cool you could see Seattle from here that's it thank you so much for that
yeah I like to look at Seattle from here no so he had this all planned out I guess oh yeah
and how far in advance did he have it planned out because if he did it that quickly after
getting back I know I did he get the ring yeah he was texting with his mom to like do a lot of
that like work for him and he showed me afterwards he's going back and forth with her face timing
because the same he was in Edmonton yes and then came home and literally proposed the next night
because I was like what like oh when did this happen so it was really cool now you guys officially
became you officially became a hockey wife obviously but you started going to Johnny's games even
before that up in Calgary is that right yeah what was that like the first time you went to a game
that was crazy when I flew out to Calgary from Philly his face was on like a billboard in the airport
and I was like wow this is crazy because you're like okay stalker I was like following me I was like
saying yeah face um because Calgary being a Canadian market it's such a big deal up there it's
still you know it's a big deal here but it's not everywhere you're hockey exactly so I just was
I thought that was the coolest thing just having a city care so much about like once born you know
I felt like I was in another world like I'd never really been out of the country and now I just flew
to Canada and I think I got off the plane like got an uber to his apartment because he was already
out of game and I met him there and I was just like whoa this is crazy because I actually
you know when you're one of the wives or the girlfriends you can use the player's entrance yes he
doesn't tell me any of this so I'm like okay I'm going to a game by myself this is so weird ticket for one
um I went in through like the main entrance because of course what else what other entrance were
you supposed to use and then I sat in my seat and I like definitely saw the other wives and I was like
they're probably like there's one girl here by herself and I didn't go down to the room
in between interventions he didn't tell me any of this no and I'm not going to be oh
Johnny Goodrow here for him let me in the room so I just was sat in my seat the whole game
I think I got french fries on the concourse yep and then afterwards he was like where are you
and I was like I'm in my seat still I don't know where to go like when am I going to walk out
the front door wait for you on a curb so it's like you can come down like you've been on the list
was like oh you didn't tell me that so what list I'm yeah I'm like I didn't know there's a list
so I just sat there and I think I called one of my friends because I was like I'm nervous yeah
but it was so funny because looking back I'm like whoa so when I see like new
girlfriends on the team you know I'm like you know come over here yes
all the boys are the same they might not share these details a thousand they all are the same
yeah yes across sports yeah they're all the same they're all so welcoming to me it was just more like
John was so quiet I don't think he told anyone like hey Meredith is coming look out for her
help her out no it's a secret yeah it kind of what so I was like Supra I'm just gonna go get
some french fries up there and yes sit in my seat until this game's over until somebody tells me
where I'm supposed to be and you know after the game the guys take forever to do whatever they're
doing close their hair I always used to say Jason's curling every individual beard hair yeah he'll
be out when he's out he was always the last one or second the last while yeah yeah because I would
be in that room after now it's comfortable in the room because I was like is you were on the list
yeah I was on the list I knew where the man was that would read the list uh-huh but um yeah last
one out of that room yeah so I remember like you know when the door opens and like that's not
John so yes you guys have a great night well got here for a couple more hours some treatment I don't
know a couple beers in the sauna mostly honestly even a big treatment type of guy mmm I swear
I'm like what were you doing in there beers in the summer it's sushi I was like oh how was it cool
mine was just right here and then you went from NHL wife to NHL mom yeah when you had your
daughter Noah yes that was like a new city too so we I felt like I was like a chicken with my
head caught off for a while because it was new mom new city all at once and doing those two things
at once now that's when you guys landed in Columbus right yes okay so I was 38 weeks pregnant when
we moved there so it's like I met my auntie the next day I'll just come back tomorrow I have this
baby um but you know the city took us in it was such an easy transition for as easy as it could be
until I just had to be like okay now I need to figure out this new mom life yes um doing that
and moving to a new city at once is crazy now in your essay for the players Tribune you wrote a lot
about your kids and how excited John was about being a dad how special was it for you to have
your kids watching their dad plant yeah um this is really cool I mean they're so young so
Noah loves looking back at those pictures and watching warm-ups you know it's very special when
your dad skates over and you can kind of blow kiss and wave and do those things and um
um there's a while or two in her crib she was laying there and chaining CBJ just herself one night
reason right she's just got sure she understands the lifestyle so that was cool she um would always
have her eat pregame meal with him um I have a lot of cute pictures of them doing that together
because that was just like a pasta carb carb load type of day and um you know if it was actually
just yesterday it was like 10 45 in the morning and she was like can I have some pasta and I just
like I had such a flashback to like you always used to eat pasta at this time with daddy so yeah
you're still still doing it let's still do it so yeah it was it was cool she you know I don't
I wonder what she kind of holds in and remembers now because she said things like oh daddy's not
here I mean no but that's okay and she'll still have fun though so that's all that matters to me
I do think it's interesting we've found with our first she's like an elephant she remembers
everything yeah and she has said things like years after about like something she experienced and
she'd be like oh that's that place we went when this happened and so it's funny I think
to experience what kids have stored as like that core memory yeah things that they've
kept with them then I'm sure that she has right that she hasn't felt the need to tell you about
yet I think a lot of those two might be our time spent together down the shore because our
most recent time together as a family was our time in Avalon yeah it was just the other day she
said something like um she wanted to go to the beach she was like oh look it's sunny and this is
your favorite I was like yeah I love the summer I love the beach and then she was like yeah we
can get ice cream because ice cream truck something she remembered I was like yeah well ice cream
went some more time yeah we're so close yeah exactly no what do you think John's best skill
as a dad was he was um there was a lot of them but he was he would like go in just be like I'm
just gonna make sure she's still breathing I was like okay and like he would he was very um
like worried or like really gentle but like you know once you kind of get comfortable and once
we had our second baby like he was just like I got this yeah so um I just remember he would
always go in and I can look back on our nannet like the saved footage and stuff and he's just like
looks he's like okay so like I just remember him always doing moving yeah yes you're moving yeah
he um he was really good at like just you know just always checking on things he was he actually
was the best at putting our second Johnny to sleep he you know when like it hits bedtime and you're
like I just got like flushed with anxiety like what is bedtime gonna bring on tonight yes
he was just like our fussy baby and I remember one time John was like up on bed like I like doing it
and I was like oh please cuz I get totally stressed out when it's time for Johnny's bedtime
cuz yeah he was just so hard to put the bed some nights and I just remember John was like can I
do it like I want to do it I like to do it so I was like oh that's really cool yeah please take it
yeah go ahead please take this opportunity yeah I just he really attached every night is is there's
always a ringer yeah and it's a surprise so that makes sense that you'd be like hey yeah you can
absolutely never good at the transfer sure and John told me this is a great tip um you know
they fall asleep in your arms and you're like all right here it goes we're gonna put them down
but he said you have to wait till their mouth opens and they're kind of like catch and fly is
sleeping sure and really yeah yeah I was like oh so he would be like and you know what they're like
yep that's when that's a little tip and every time I see the kids doing that I think a John
that's so amazing if you're a real one you already know it's been a year now and I guess
I fully embrace many van life really has been a year but that unlikely development is all thanks
to our toyota sienna from school drop-offs to road trips to the shore we take our sienna everywhere
and the best part has been being able to literally fit our entire six-person family in this car
and of course the ridiculous things that happen in the backseat with four tiny humans I mean the
amount of snacks that have been smushed into the floor is unmatched that takes me to my next point
I literally can't lie I love the sienna's features because when they smash those snacks into the floor
my built-in vacuum will suck it all up Toyota designs vehicles that help create the best
experience for the whole family while making the trip easier and more enjoyable so if you're
looking not only for a great car to get you from point A to point B with enough space that you can
fit everyone I highly recommend the toyota sienna and going for a test drive at your local toyota
dealership you can learn more at toyota.com backslash sienna and remember it's not the places we go
but the people we go with that matter with two of my girls birthdays sports schedules and school
drop-offs it's hard to get a steady routine one thing that always helps me get back into the swing
of things when life gets crazy is a nice workout on the peloton app peloton can help you continue
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that includes browsing Facebook marketplace there are so many unexpected finds on Facebook
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now one one of the many moving moments from your letter to john in the players tribune was you
sharing how you told him you were pregnant with your third baby Carter take me through that how far
long were you i think i was only in my seventh week so his sister Katie's bachelor at weekend was
early august and then so now fast forward this was august 23rd or fourth beretta rehearsal
dinner and john was the best man for his best friend at the sweating and of course family friend
so um john siblings were also at this rehearsal dinner so Katie was um you know don't be
pregnant at my wedding like i was like no i trust me i don't want to be like that's not fun
and then um her bachelor at happened and um i came home and for some reason
maddie at the rehearsal dinner was sitting across from me and i was like fake drinking beer
and he kept looking at me and i was like i was like nothing going on here i like i have a five-month
old i'm not pregnant maddie but he kept being like and i was like you have this one i think this one
skunked and he was like what and i was like what do you want me for maddie and then i was like
baby johnny is five months old like don't worry and then um
Katie was like yeah no i know she's not like she told me she got her period like right after
the bachelor at and i was like yeah i did and then you know quiet john is sitting there
and then we were walking to our car and he was like you just lied to Katie what are you talking about
he's like you didn't have your period last week and i was like i know and he was like i was
supposed to he was like what are you talking about he's like what do you mean and i was like
he's like why did you say that and i was like i did not have my period last week no
he's like i know you didn't like hello and i was like yeah i know i'm pregnant he was like what
and it was just so funny because he was it was just such a shock to both of us
and then i wanted to tell him in a way cooler way than that but i was like
but maddie was on you i don't know your siblings were all over me and then
he i just can't imagine he was sitting there being like
she is lying and i don't know why wouldn't it have been hilarious had he been like no you did
when i was really surprised everyone it was like so that was so funny because we um
we were just driving home back down the shore from the this rehearsal dinner and he was like
are you nuts and i was like yeah this was all my fault like it takes two to time
literally just like i don't i don't know and he was like three kids like this is insane he's like
i'm excited i'm really nervous though so i have all these text messages i took screenshots to
say for Carter because the next day he was having he was skating and he was like i can't focus on
this skate i can't believe we're having a third baby he's like and just like i think i had like
20 extreme of consciousness 20 text messages from him being like i'm so excited i'm so nervous
like i can't believe this you're crazy i was like yeah this is crazy so it's so special it's so
special to save things like that i know i'm really kind of obsessed with saving stuff like that now
because john even sent me like a selfie of himself like in that moment so i thought that was
cool to say for Carter but his face is just kind of like so it's cute because
this card looks exactly like him too so it'll be special to show him one day and then screenshots
yeah now as painful and unimaginable as it all is do you take some comfort knowing that you
did get to tell him yeah oh god you're gonna have me now yeah because um
yeah he you know because some people did say like oh did john know it's like yeah of course
you know it just only was like about a week long but
yeah he um i also knew he always liked the name Carter so
i was unsure we didn't obviously know the gender we never found out the gender of our kids
but um we had a list of names we liked and um obviously john east name was
after him and his grandfather but um i knew he liked Carter so i'm excited to tell Carter one day
like he really loved your name because john he's named yes johnny's name was just had to be johnny
i don't know maybe he doesn't like that name i just want to be like his name Carter
so that is special to yeah and he really didn't want johnny to be john michael which is john's name
my husband's name he just didn't want it to be john michael so we got to do Carter michael
so michael is john's middle name too that's so special yeah i thought it um it all kind of fit
because i remember one time he was also telling it was actually madty and madeline
he was like we're you know just give dishing out names he's like how about Carter and i was like
that's one of our names i don't use that name again i know i just like it i was like
don't tell people in the names you like when you're not even pregnant because we weren't
pregnant at the time he's like how about Carter it's like yeah stop giving our names away so then um
you know i was so stressed over what to name the baby because we never got to talk about it
but i was like i know he likes to name Carter that's such a beautiful tribute to make sure that
he was involved yeah we it was really funny one of those apps it's kind of like a tinder app
we did this yeah you swipe on the names and you have a match and you see what matches got
Carter on the match perfect yeah so funny some yeah Carter michael now if you're comfortable sharing
i think everyone who supports and loves you and your family would appreciate hearing your
perspective on what happened the day before your sister in law Katie's wedding can you take me
through that day yeah it was um we were staying with his parents that week to kind of help Katie
i was one of her mates of honor so we were you know the night before doing all the favors um which i
thought was cute because john really him and i were like doing a lot of that stuff um getting the
favors ready for the next day he woke up and um you know packed up our car we were doing
the boys went to go golf and the girls were um just having lunch but i was bringing the kids home
to my parents house because um their babies you know it's crazy so Noah was uh
not too yet and Johnny was six months old so you know when you're a parent and in the wedding you
don't really have to partake in all the things but uh i was glad he golfed that day with his brother
and his dad and um then they were just having like you know a little barbecue out by the pool
that night and um i was at my parents house and um it's got a call like come over you know
and i i didn't know at all what happened um when i got there though there was a lot of
cop cars out front and it was starting to rain i was like you know what you said like a bad gut feeling
i thought i heard they told me over the phone you know like we don't know what happened but i think
something happened to Maddie so my whole driveover i just thought like oh my god like
i don't know how i'm gonna help John get through something that happened to his brother and i
didn't know anything happened um but um i remember it like it was yesterday kind of keeps
something it's just i can't stop playing it in my head but
it just doesn't feel real still um some people said it's like a defense mechanism but
i just you know i was making all these phone calls because John didn't have his phone on him um
he left his phone at his parents house so it's like i have no clue what's going on um
and just hit me like a ton of bricks i just i remember being like i this is
can't be real who actually delivered the news to you um
john's uncle but he didn't even had to say it i just it was just like a look yep and i just was like
what just so weird just everything
happened so fast i guess i don't know just i remember i was asking john like hey what bag is no
a sleep second you know i was kind of it now johnny's brother maddie's wife Madeline was also pregnant
how did you two support each other through this horrible loss yeah it was just
you know she's the closest person i have to relate to so um
trauma bonded forever now through that but you know just
anything her or trip ever needs you know
anything in the world they need i'll be there for them forever and she's been amazing for me
my kids just has that like without um no explanation needed just whatever you need
no was that their first yeah she was pregnant with
yeah so she was um four or five months in she they had the baby right
she had she had tripped right after Christmas okay so yeah crazy now um how have you and
john's family leaned on each other yeah you're just you know you're trying to be respectful of
everyone's perspective you know i've something i have learned it's just all about perspective you know i
don't i try so hard to um you know my kids are very helpful for my in-laws um so we make sure we
spend a lot of time together um you know it's nice for me sometimes when i'm around my mother
and father-in-law you know like these are john's parents like you know that it feels good it's just
sometimes so heavy and hard too but you know we just they'll still come out to Columbus a few times
and visit us and anytime i'm here um you know make a point to see each other spend a lot of time
together in the summers so um none of that has changed it's just you know i kind of sometimes i
just look at my father-in-law and like he has a lot of the same mannerisms and stuff is john so i'm
like i'm sure i have to be strong to see sometimes yeah it's hard but you know i can't imagine how
they feel when they're around me they've been incredibly supportive of me it's anything i need i
can just call them and ask and um my mother-in-law reminds me of that you know all the time just
anything my father-in-law is really great with the kids he's excited for this summer to get
you know them on the ice i don't know if they're gonna like it but we'll try so we just do a lot of
little things to you know just get through the next thing um it's just all about the kids and they
know that and they do a really good job of uh seven you know making sure the kids are having fun the
kids are happy and they are and everyone who has followed your story will remember you publicly
shared your news about being pregnant at the funeral yeah um how important was that to you
yeah i wanted to just um you know bring light to
you know everything John had accomplished and you know being a father's you know what more like
you could be a hockey star all you want he doesn't care about any of that when you compare it to
being a dad you know it's um and i just wanted to you know i was very proud of John for
being a father of three um it was really good dad and um you know it's just everything i have now
which is you know i owed all to John all the good in my life is uh because of him and
very grateful to have three kids
also what a beautiful time to share such a light yeah that you were expecting in such like a
a dark day where you're trying to like find the the beauty in that person's life yeah i just wanted to
you know very hyper focused on making sure my kids are they know how important and special their
dad is and um you know make sure that they're not messed up by this in the long run and um
you know making sure that they always feel close to their father and um
try to just have everything kind of be surrounded by him and them you know
when they're old enough to realize what what really happened um
um you know i just want them to know they were always the center of anything i've ever done
and the Columbus Blue Jackets uh Johnny's NHL team honored him in their home opener a little while
after with a banner and by starting the game with an empty left wing spot yeah you were in attendance
with your children um it's so incredible for moments like that that i can only imagine were
difficult to give not only yourself those moments but also his former teammates oh god
and also to have your kids get to see whether they remembered or not to be present for that moment
of honoring his life yeah um what do you remember from that night yeah i didn't know they were doing
the empty left wings but um i thought that was very powerful um
sorry i'm sorry i just uh i want you know everything i do
tribute wise or anything i want to make sure you know it's it's for my kids that really
would drive us me to do all these things and that moment of course it honors john but it's
it's a memory for our kids to have um
Sean Sean is John's best friend and um he that was his first season they were teammates
and Calgary together for years and he came to Columbus i was really excited to you know reunite
with john as teammates um and he was the one out there with me and then um
it i just when i see that moment i just think it was
probably very hard for him to do that but um
yeah it was just
very powerful moment and um
hit john's impact and all the tributes people have done for him it's
blows me away that you know the respect he had in the hockey world um what really is like you
you keep bringing it back to the kids yeah and saying that like all of these things you feel are
important because of the kids you just went to Milan to watch the team the US men's hockey team
play for gold yeah um to do that with your kids to watch the tributes with your kids um to bring
them along in all these spaces where they either are getting to see how loved your husband is
um it's so special that they get to be there for that and for them to have those moments of
affirmation that it's not just that mom was in love with dad and that's why she thinks he was so
great it's that he truly was this incredible person who reached yeah so far exactly um
um exactly i just you know it was telling Noah especially we went out to Milan
um i was like you know these are all daddy's friends and i think if he was here he would
probably be on this team um we saw we were watching one of the games on tv just days before
i knew i was even going so i said to her i was like you know she recognizes some of the guys
and i said you know i think if daddy would be on that team and um those are all his friends
and then when it was time to go to Italy i said to her i was like we're gonna go um
we're gonna go watch that team play and um you know we're doing this is something special we're
doing for daddy and i said you know they're doing this because they love and miss daddy too um
and i think she kind of can connect the dots there and she sees like his jersey and she knows that's his
um she's only three so i tried to you know give her a little bit of credit but she can read number
13 and um you know she knows that's i was like that's for him and these are all his friends and they
love and miss him too and this is something special we're doing for him and um she's starting to
see him like very proud of that stuff she should be yeah now um i'm sure everyone has seen this but
if you haven't the players of us men's hockey actually skated john's us a jersey around the ice
they also brought your two oldest kids out for the team picture yeah i felt so that it
cardored didn't have a passport so poor kid i'm gonna grow up and be like this too
no that's i know that's honestly photoshopping in or something yeah there's technology we can get
them that picture yeah you were there don't you see yourself right back there um i now what was it
like seeing the guys immediately go and run to get john's jersey yeah that was incredible i um
you know it's times going on now i've sold them on her john the season after his ex the accident and
then you know i was kind of in the back of my mind like okay it's been two seasons now but i was
like oh my god they still have his jersey and it like just meant the world to me um when i saw it
on the in the locker room just in the background um of a little interview or something um and then
once they won and they had his jersey out you know it it those seeing that is so surreal where i'm like
this is crazy um and then all of a sudden my sister lily had my phone and she was like your phone
keeps ringing and i was watching all the guys on the ice and i like see Matthew kachuk on a cell phone
and then lily's like you're just casually on the ice and i'm like oh boy like so he um called me
he's like i want to get a picture with the kids and i was just like oh my god that's so cool um
um i was very proud of john um you know very proud of the guys for
making a special moment for my kids and you know have honoring john the way they did you know they
just won the gold medal they don't need to be thinking about that right now but that's such a
testament to what type of person and teammate your husband was to think of someone like
personally who played team sports to know the teammates that have stuck with you like teammates that
will always be like oh can you think of your best teammate those are the teammates who are always
at like the forefront front of your brain yeah when you're thinking about sports and so for them to
take the time to be like oh this is a priority of ours we just won the gold but you know who
is here with us right to be able to do that again is such a testament to the person your husband
is and was yeah so i was just so proud of john for that and proud of those guys for
displaying such classy character um really good role models for my kids and
um just such great friends you know some of those guys were john's teammates from day one
so it just was like it felt so good and it was heavy you know
i cried every day so i was crying there but um you know i can kind of power through a hockey game
and i was very proud to support those guys there like i'm you know being at those games are
incredibly hard i'm looking at john's jersey just draped over the bench and um
but i should remind myself you know i'm here because i'm here to honor john and i hear i'm
here because i want to support these guys that have done so much to support us and um
i'm here to show the kids you know how special their father is and um you know i've just
out of our situation i have to make the most of it and uh that's that's going to be a hard one to be
now what did Noah and johnny say about it afterwards were they excited that they got to go out
on the ice i was so proud of them especially because Noah used to hate going out yes i did
i did have a mom moment watching it of like is anyone gonna cry because i couldn't believe it
the even like even johnny is how old that was the second birthday yeah that's right yeah okay so
two years old my two my recent three year old if anyone were to ever take her away from me even
if it was like in a moment of like excitement she would have lost her damn mind so i was watching
and i was like i know wow guys even just like the bright lights yes obviously the ring crowd yes
they nailed it they did a great job i was like okay let's just go for it boop um i have videos of
Noah like whaling on the ice of course you know and um i think they're gonna go really slow so
i think she just knew i was like hey they want to take a picture with you um she knows Zach
well so i think because he's gonna come hold you yes and you know she just went right out there
johnny i was very nervous for he is you know he's the one where he's not gonna go with the flow
like sure and he mourned you with the not good sleeping situation he mourned you that he was
and it's so funny because when we look at his smile and he's like but uh it's like i'm not sure
he wasn't freaking out so he wasn't great and i really my mom bring clicked it on that one
i was like is anyone gonna okay and everyone just went with it he did great and outstanding
i hope that's not his last time on on some Olympic ice
so let's like get used to this so enjoy this feeling yeah yeah do it yourself right we'll be
back here um and Carter loved it too right he was watching from home he did no he had no
he loved it he loved the photoshop and many of the judges he did great he just can't see me so
smile back there he's so little he's just a little baby and he's in that picture you can't see him
because all the big high guys yeah nobody yeah yeah Carter and bless uh no that's that's it's not
a poor guy situation that's a very normal it could think about it as difficult as it was to do the
hours part of the little man and he's so we'll photoshop a man he is like he's just like no one
that can he can already keep up with the bigger kids yes my big kids are two and three but yes
he's like i'm in it now he's like getting there i'm like oh my god you're gonna be that one
now um everyone has said john would have been there on the ice how important were the Olympics to
john yeah um that was the big goal you know he you know two years ago it was circled on his
calendar it's like he started working hard to get to that that moment um i remember it was our
honeymoon and we he had like step away and take like a big phone call for the potential
opportunity for the Olympics which would have been 2022 it obviously was canceled um so he kept
missing the opportunity so i knew how big this one meant for him um so just wanted to all came
together i was like you know this is to me it was like okay you made it like you know he
they made like a big deal of everyone getting the phone call and i was watching all those videos
just thinking like wow like i wonder if john would have gotten the call and then um as it all came
to be i was like of course he would have like look at this so um very proud of him because
you did it he did um and you and your sister-in-law Madeline have also started the johnny and
Matthew Goodrow foundation yeah can you tell me a little bit more about that yeah we started a
foundation um in their honor to just give back to um youth hockey players and other families
that are faced with tragedy um john and maddie were very involved in the youth hockey world um
maddie was coaching and john would do things with him and it was never lost on them like how expensive
it is to have hockey as your hobby as you know even for um you have to play obviously when you're
so young and it's like a whole family commitment um traveling to the games and the tournaments and
the equipment's expensive so our foundation you know aims to give back to you tacky and um
we've already started giving back some grants so it just feels good we've had so much support and
we haven't even had a fundraiser of our own um and just to be at a point where we're already
able to write some grants and give back has been um you know special it's it's um it feels good
and what's next for you um carters first birthday is in a few weeks so
you know wire birthday so emotional for your kids i i just some like canceling April first
like i don't want him to turn one it's just so weird um if you don't mind if you could cancel
March 30th while you're at it because that's our youngest first birthday first birthday it's
lame joint birthday pretty lame a joint birthday avoidance party sure cancel cancel so i just
i know i just want to like really slow down and enjoy every single moment with my kids um
you know i feel like every day i'm just reminded like you know goes fast and just to
so good up when i'm like oh my god get me to seven o'clock i'm like no this is
let's enjoy this i have a clock witching hour i just want to really slow down and enjoy
my babies while they're babies because she's three and i'm like no your baby do you know that's
that i've talked about on the show that kindergarten got me not because she was going to kindergarten
but because my brain said that it was her starting school yes for the rest of her life until she leaves me
which is a super logical and rational i know i might i lost my mind i'm like can't do this no
yeah she should just stay a little forever i found myself like around my house doing a lot of
crazy things to like not let go of the baby stuff like i had johnny he's like my big one
i had him in like the baby insert in the tub for like way too long he was like
like looked like buddy the elf in the tub it's so funny but then for Carter i was changing him
still in like a little basket he's like hanging out of it i was like no no no no you fit yeah he's
like can almost walk i'm like getting your basket just like weird things i'm doing like whoa i got
i got to start accepting that they're growing up but though i tell my six-year-old still i'm like
you're always my baby and she's like i'm not a baby i'm big and i'm like you want a baby
that's how Noah is yeah i'm a big one you always be my baby you're not yeah funny thing you're
actually not you're not tiny baby yeah yeah i'm doing a lot of weird things i'm like oh my god
don't let anyone see me do this i had like you know johnny stole like he's one that he insists on a bottle
but um the Olympics he like had his bottle yes and i go up the camera the mom's on instagram
we're gonna come for me that's the second birthday and he's got his bottle in his hand
there are the same people who are coming for me for saying my three-year-old needs to kick the
the passie this year you know we're fine thank you we're fine totally good um now i do want to ask you
one more question uh for the people out there who also might be in tough situations or going
through hard times what is the best piece of advice you've received on handling grief um i would
say just write things down um memories stories you know if somebody tells you a nice story right
it down because grief just has this way of like taking over your body your memory um
i have like so much brain fog from grief but i find things i've written down i can go back and
read it just all comes back and or some of it's like i don't remember that but thank god i wrote that
down um that would be my big thing i'm kind of obsessed right now i'm trying to like just preserve
all memories for my kids so i'm writing down everything um and that would be my biggest
pieces because um going back and having that to read is like what you want to do at the end of
your day and it's heartwarming just you know the end of the day when the kids are asleep and just
time for yourself you just think about that person and you can if you have what you wrote down
you're not going to remember it as well as you will when you take the time to sit and just
write out the details i cannot thank you enough for coming to talk today um one of the things
that we touched on was the john and mathy gradro foundation um it's at www.johnandmatti.org
um i'm assuming the best way to support right now is to donate so that you guys can continue
giving out grants yeah exactly thank you yeah of course um thank you so much for coming i know
you don't need to be told this but you doing what you're doing having these conversations
allows john to continue to live on and of course that gives your kids the opportunity to continue
to see how far he has reached so thank you so much for coming to talk to us for having me it was fun
and we'll see each other at the shore yeah i can't wait perfect and that's a wrap on this week's
episode of not gonna lie you can find even more clips for my longer conversation with Meredith
on my youtube channel on more shit monday reminder no new ngl next week but we will be back the
following week with my one year postpartum special send in your questions real ones follow us on
social media at ngl with kiley for clips throughout the week listen and subscribe wherever you get
your podcasts not gonna lie is a wave original brought to you by door dash thanks to the real ones
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Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
