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I'm RJ Decker, the private investigator,
uncovering the sunshine state's darkest secrets.
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RJ Decker, series premiere.
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Knock on a lie.
Ellie said she was having a pain in her leg armpit.
In case you were wondering, that's the back side of your knee.
I'm honestly impressed with how accurate that description is.
Let's get this podcast started.
Welcome to the first ever snow day special episode of Knock on a Lie.
A wave original brought to you by Facebook Marketplace in Bridgerton.
For every listing, there's a story.
I'm your host, Kylie Kelsey.
Currently in the thick of soup season.
My go to is chicken noodle soup from scratch.
I actually love that.
But if someone else is making it, it's little leases, turkey meatball soup.
Every single time.
I should call her and ask her to make that.
My best snow day skill is definitely sledding.
Or is it making a snowman?
And my daughter sometimes call me a baddie when they think I'm being mean.
So it's not quite what they think it means.
But I'm going to keep pretending like they're hyping me up.
You're a baddie.
Yes, I am.
Got it.
That's literally what happens.
That was a perfect reenactment.
Clock it.
Yep.
Well, I said it at the top real ones.
This is a snow day special.
We had the biggest snow storm in 10 years.
Just hit, which means all my children.
Every single one of them is home from school.
Because it was a snow day.
We can't leave the house.
And our recording schedule got hit right in the snowballs.
As Queen Emma would say.
So guess what?
You're getting a surprise solo episode.
Here we go.
So get ready for an absolutely unhinged special.
Because you guys know I'm not a huge fan of solo episodes.
We'll get back to it next week with a guest.
I promise.
You should tune in for that.
It's cheering up to be a good one.
That's all I'm going to say about that.
There's really no knowing what the hell I'm going to say.
Or who may walk through the door.
I swear to God if Benny comes over here, I'm going to.
I quit.
If Benny finds a way to find me, I quit.
Today's the day.
She'll sniff me out like a bloodhound.
Okay.
Coming up on today's snow day special.
I'm going to get honest about snow days as a parent.
Plus the return of everybody's favorite segment.
You know what's fucked up?
Plus a clip about a mom's chill reaction to her toddler knocking over her coffee
has inspired me to do a full on traumatic reenactment of how I would have responded.
Let me tell you.
Queen Emma and I have been talking about this clip nonstop for the last three weeks.
You're not going to want to miss it.
I'm also going to answer as many of your ask me some things questions as I can.
That's not an exaggeration.
We're going to rapid fire this shit and you should stick around to see it.
Because they're your questions.
I didn't come up with them.
Queen Emma didn't come up with them.
We just fielded what came in.
So it's literally your questions.
Some of them.
Because you guessed it.
Some of them.
There's a reason it's called ask me some things.
You're nuts.
That's crazy sauce.
But before we get to all that, let's start off with a few quick NGL announcements.
First, next week's episode will be our annual NGL Super Bowl special.
I'll be taping with a special guest right in San Fran.
But I've been told not to call it San Fran.
So I should start practicing saying San Francisco.
Can someone tell me why?
Genuinely.
I'm just curious.
I'll do it your way, but I just want to know why.
The episode will come out Friday next week, not Thursday.
We have a one day delay.
I think you're going to think it's worth it.
Just what you just wait.
Real ones, please send us all your questions.
I'm going to do another edition of Ask Me Some Things with my guest.
So tag at NGL with Kylie on social or comment on YouTube or Spotify.
And our last announcement.
I've already talked it up so much.
I'll make this quick.
My FAFO curling episode with Jason comes out this upcoming Tuesday, February 3rd.
Make sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel so you don't miss it.
Now let's get right into it, real ones.
Since this is our snow day special, I'm going to get honest about you guessed it.
Snow days as a parent.
Can I be honest?
It's brought to you today by TrueFro.
I actually already ate a whole bag of it.
Not that anyone asked.
I'm not exaggerating.
I was doing my makeup at the beginning.
And I already broke into this.
And I kid you not.
There is an entire bag.
They don't do like the half-assed bag fill.
That was Philly.
They don't do the half-assed bag fill.
But I'm going to tell you what.
There are this many left.
So.
Whatever.
Oh, one for the road.
Okay.
We warned of it was on hinge.
I don't know what you do.
I don't know what you want.
Okay.
Our current snow day situation.
It's going.
It's going.
It's so cold here.
That even the sun today is not melting it.
Because I think the real feel is like 15 degrees or something.
It's so cold.
It's not going anywhere.
And that's fine.
But the teeny tiny little ice.
Pieces that are on top of it.
Are just getting more slick by the day.
It's created this crust on top of the snow
that makes it absolute trash for any snow day activities.
So yesterday, the girls and I went outside.
First of all,
Benny wants no parts of it.
I respect it.
Homegirl said,
I'm good.
And the best part about it is she has zero fomo about it.
So it's not as if we get everybody else dressed up.
Get ready to walk out the door.
And she's like,
I want to go to.
Or we come back in and she's like crying.
I wanted to go to.
No.
She is fully tent hose down inside of the cozy house.
So why Ellie and I went outside with my niece.
We went to see if we could do just a slight amount of sledding.
First of all,
every step they took,
they would balance for a second.
And then their foot would fall in.
And then it's like fighting through the ice to get your feet back out.
So that was great.
Did it end in tears?
Yes.
Silly question.
It definitely ended in tears.
Why it didn't cry,
which was kind of crazy sometimes.
She surprises me.
She surprised me yesterday.
I think that the wind hurt.
It hurt your face.
So although you could handle the cold,
which again,
it was maybe 20 degrees yesterday.
It hurts your face.
And for all of the people who are going to say,
you should put a scarf on them
and then put on ski goggles.
Thanks for your suggestion.
You try putting ski goggles on a four year old.
The girls favorite snow day activities
are with, out of doubt,
making snowmen, snow women.
And eating the snow,
which if you haven't seen,
there are plenty of videos on the internet
where you can look at snow,
melted under a microscope.
If you are the type of parent
who's going to,
you see the fun in it,
and you're like,
hey, let's let the kids eat the snow.
Don't look up those videos.
We did not watch Frozen,
which I do think is a missed opportunity.
While it was snowing,
Benny was deep in what I'm going to call a one-woman play
that she was Elsa
and she was creating the snow storm
that was happening outside.
So, yeah.
We were all unwilling audience members
for that one.
We did do a snow day activity of a movie.
We watched the Lizzie McGuire movie
because the girls heard this is what dreams are made of
on a Disney playlist
when we were doing a guessing game.
And then they just kept singing
this is what dreams are made of.
Not the whole song, just that line,
and over and over and over and over
and you guessed it,
over again,
until I said,
why don't we just watch the movie?
So we have a sectional in our living room.
I blew up a twin air mattress
so that it would sort of connect the two sides.
And they got on the twin mattress,
of course,
argued over who was stealing the most blanky
because why would we get three blankets?
Why wouldn't we just try and share one
and then fight over it?
Don't be ridiculous.
And we had a movie day with popcorn
and family and blankies
and Lizzie McGuire.
It was great.
The not so fun parts about a snow day as a parent.
By far the worst part of a snow day.
It's not even...
I genuinely can't think of another thing.
This could be top five worst things about parenting.
I'm not ex...
This is not an exaggeration.
I promise I'm not being...
I'm not being dramatic here.
Putting snow gear on multiple children.
Holy crap.
I genuinely, yesterday,
had to offer the ultimatum multiple times
that if you do not put this item on,
you are not going to play in the snow.
Why it was so mad about having to wear mittens?
First of all, mittens she has worn before.
So it's not like I just bought new mittens
and was like, oh, she'll wear these.
She has worn them before.
They fit her hands and homegirl said,
I'm not wearing those.
I don't want my strawberry shortcake gloves.
Okay?
Just to get a mental image of our strawberry shortcake gloves,
they are so loosely knit
that if a cricket sneezed,
you would feel a gust of wind through them.
Okay?
It is as if you took your grandmother's lace doily,
made that into gloves,
and wore them outside to touch snow.
And then we weren't done there
because once I talked her into the mittens,
she was pissed that I tried to tuck them into the sleeves.
It took us.
No exaggeration, two children,
maybe 30 minutes to get dressed.
Okay?
And then, at some point during this process,
they got mad at me for trying to put on my snow pants.
As if I was just going to a raw dog
and go outside and some frickin' pajama pants.
All right, that's it for Can I Be Honest,
brought to you by TrueFrew.
Moving on, we have a Doom Scroll double feature today.
And we're going to start with our Doom Scroll snow day edition.
First up on our snowy-ass Doom Scroll,
perhaps the filious way to snow day ever.
Queen Emma, the clip, please.
People flocked to the Philadelphia Museum of Art.
And we're sledding, snowboarding,
tubing down the Art Museum steps.
It was beautiful, stunning.
It was such a good moment of community
and unity in the city of Philadelphia.
It was the city of brotherly love.
We were out there enjoying the snow.
I will say there was also a Jeep
that was driving through the streets of Philadelphia
with someone getting towed on skis
and another person getting towed at the same time on a tube.
And like, let me know where to catch you guys
so that I can pop on there.
Not on the skis, don't be ridiculous.
I want to sit my butt on a comfy tube
and just, you know, would be exhilarating,
hitting a Philly Pothole on a tube getting towed by a Jeep
in a snowstorm.
Oh, beautiful.
So beautiful.
And speaking of Philly snow days,
I can't think of a better way to measure the snow
than this.
It says tasty totals, a Philly twist on measuring snow.
Crimpet watch, 2026, and pretzel watch, 2026.
There were two boards right next to each other.
One with Tasty Kate Crimpitz nailed to it.
And the other one was stacked soft pretzels, outstanding.
Do you want me to read that for you, Queen Emma?
Queen Emma would like me to say, yo, not for nothing.
But we got at least seven and a half Tasty Kakes worth of
John last night, yo.
That's what she said.
She said it, not me.
Last on our snowy day doom scroll,
this teeny tiny little chihuahua has absolutely no business going
for a walk in the cold.
And to his credit, he booked it back inside.
Roll it, Queen Emma.
Oh my goodness.
It says, point of view, you're a nine pound senior chihuahua.
Is that what it said?
Ami.
Oh, he, um, he tried his very best.
It says made it down to the parking lot.
Didn't pay gave up.
Okay.
He has a full parka.
I'm pretty sure he has a sweater underneath of it.
And of course, he has little booty mittens on.
Okay.
You stop it right now.
Bring him over.
I'll dig him a little patch.
I will say.
This is, this is how you know
that your algorithm is algorithming.
I saw a little doxan.
Whose parents put them up a little,
almost like a little hoop house with a clear tarp.
So that they could walk right off of the back patio.
Into the little hoop house.
It was like a greenhouse.
But for business.
And she went in there and did her business like a lady.
And I think that was really considerate.
Because they're a low rider.
And I can only imagine that if you're that low to the ground,
it would be quite unpleasant.
To have your.
Manhood.
Or for the ladies, your nipples.
Rubbin in the snow.
I said what I said.
I said what I said.
That would be on that would be unpleasant.
The wolf hounds.
Our Irish will found.
She loves the snow, not this crunchy bullshit.
But she does like the snow.
She also likes the cold.
I do sometimes have to convince her to come inside.
There are two doors.
I let her in the upstairs door into our kitchen or the downstairs door.
Into our bottom level.
Where the other podcast films you can see.
What a mess it is.
And she will stand on the corner of the deck.
And stare at me.
With the door wide open.
Ten degrees outside.
Trying to coax her ass in the house.
I'm talking treats.
Toys.
Nothing.
She's no dummy.
She's not coming in the bottom.
She wants to come upstairs.
She wants to surf the counter.
She wants to eat the kids snacks.
When they're offered.
Yeah.
We're figuring it out.
We're fine.
She's smart and I like it.
That's it for Doom Scroll Snow Day edition.
Stay tuned for Doom Scroll Part 2 in a little bit.
It might be our most unhinged edition ever.
In the meantime, some messages from a tired mom
who's been entertaining tiny humans in the freezing cold.
Yep.
You got it.
It's me.
Facebook Marketplace is the ultimate resource
for transforming any space in your house.
I've lots of friends who love it,
especially for getting great deals on baby furniture,
like cribs and dressers.
I also have seen a lot of people get tables for their kids,
because once they can't fit their little leggings under it,
you got to move on.
So that's a great time to get one.
And now Facebook Marketplace is teaming up
with another powerhouse.
Bridgerton.
Bridgerton Season 4 Part 1 comes out today,
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And now you can host a watch party in style.
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yeah, I said what I said.
Then you're going to want to see this collection.
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And watch Bridgerton Season 4 Part 1 on January 29th and Part 2
on February 26th, only on Netflix.
Facebook Marketplace and Bridgerton.
For every listing, there's a story.
Guys, I've been waiting for this partnership
to come to fruition one day.
Get it?
And now it's here.
TrueFrew is officially a sponsor I'm not going to lie.
And I'm so excited about this.
Because, well, number one, I ate this entire bag
before we started filming.
My favorite ones by far are raspberries.
That's it.
I don't care what they coat them in.
I like the frozen raspberries.
These are great because, look at how nicely coated they are, first of all.
I bargain with the girls for these, which is great,
because as soon as I get the bag out, I'm like,
oh, one for you, one for me, a handful for mom.
Quite honestly, I already busted into most of these bags.
Milk chocolate strawberries.
Oh, a straight line, you'd think.
There's no way she already busted into that one.
I did.
It's the dark chocolate cherries.
So, these are more tart than you would think.
Honestly, delightful.
I shouldn't be allowed to do this.
Guys, the best part about it.
Actual fruit on the inside.
Why it doesn't even like frozen fruit,
and she is a huge fan of the milk chocolate strawberries.
Huge.
You simply pop it right in the freezer,
and then it's easy to grab when you want something sweet.
You can find it in their signature blue bags.
Right in the freezer aisle of your grocery store.
We're kind of, we're cute.
We're kind of matching.
If you said that prioritizing nobody needs me time,
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Sometimes you literally only have 30 minutes.
And when you hop on to Peloton and you pick
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Guys, I'm back.
That was three minutes too long, seriously.
I missed you.
But guess what?
I'm going to make it up to you right now
by answering a bunch of your Ask Me Some Things questions.
Because Ask Me Anything is far too open-ended
for some of you seriously.
I cannot fathom.
We can ask security questions.
Literally, someone asked,
what's your security like?
I'm sorry, what?
Okay, we're going to rapidify her these.
I can't.
First question.
Has Finn started showing her personality
is their sister she's most attached to?
Yes, she has started showing her personality.
I would say that she's probably most attached to Ellie.
She does sometimes yell Ellie's name when Ellie yells to her.
Benny doesn't actually give a shit about Finn.
And that's on brand for her.
I think Finn's going to be funny.
I think she's going to be stubborn.
And I think she's going to be glued to her mother
because she got mad yesterday
because someone went through the baby gate
out of the living room.
And I was sitting behind her on the floor
and she forgot.
And she went over to the gate screaming crying.
And I had to go,
Finney, and she turned around
and immediately stopped crying
because she was just screaming
because she thought I left the room.
It's cool to be wanted.
Okay.
Next from Kayla Gully.
Who said I love you first?
You were Jason.
It me.
It was definitely me.
I said it first.
We played chicken there for a little bit about it.
And then I just said it.
Because there's that.
So I do remember when it happened.
I'm not going to share details because
well, I don't want to.
How about that?
Is that not the premise
of this entire podcast?
Here we go.
Here's a fun one from Amaze 29.
Most outrageous question.
One of the girls has asked
about how babies get in your belly.
Yikes.
We have been, I have been asked
by both older children
how babies get in your belly.
Or how babies get here.
And my answer right now is always the same.
When two people love each other enough,
they, their love,
gets them a baby.
I like that because
it explains
plenty of situations,
including less traditional situations.
And
we navigate those things when they come up.
But I like it.
I like the fact that it's just
people love each other and people want babies.
And then they get babies.
And that's how they get here because
of love done.
I really do my best not to complicate things.
They're fucking 64 and two guys.
This is not,
we're not going to,
we're not going to like,
like, unzip the fucking projector screen
and like,
here's a diagram.
No.
I will tell you in terms of
things that will later apply to this conversation,
we refer to all of our body parts
with the correct
anatomical terms.
And that's as far as we go right now.
We're fascinated with the word penis.
Fascinated.
That's what happens when you're a house full of
ginas.
I said what I said.
Next, we got a lot of questions like this one.
Haircare routine, please.
This is from Cabbie Chick.
Let me tell you.
Where do I start?
Guys, I don't really have a haircare routine.
This actually answers a lot of things.
I also saw that a lot of people are asking for a skin care routine.
Can confirm they are the same.
When I get to wash my hair or wash my face,
cool.
If I don't, whoops.
If you ever see me wearing my favorite hat of all time,
my tie-dye green PHL hat,
PHI, PHI, I think it says.
That means my hair is dirty.
That's not me trying to be cute and a baseball hat.
I genuinely didn't wash my hair.
And usually, that means I haven't washed my hair for anywhere
from three to four days.
So, do with that what you will.
In my postpartum journey right now with my hair,
I try my best not to wash my hair back to back days
because yikes.
Also, I will say,
a big fan of shark hair blow dryer
and then con air heat products.
So, like, con air curling iron that you get from CVS.
I just go to CVS.
Get the con air hair curling iron.
It's the most basic one.
Don't get the pink, don't get the rose gold.
It's a black bottom and a silver top.
Don't fuck this up.
And I recently got their thermal round brush.
That's what this is.
Makes it look like a little bit of a blowout.
Yeah, so.
What is your mantra on the days you don't want to work out?
Let me tell you,
the last time I worked out was three weeks ago.
In the living room.
I think that I air played my peloton app to the TV.
And then I used my children as weights.
So that was fun.
Maybe I'll do that today.
I try my very best not to get my head.
Some days I'm going to work out.
Some days I'm not.
Some days I eat really healthy.
Some days I don't.
It all evens out.
Okay.
There will come a time where I will be in the season of life,
where I get some of the time in my day back to myself.
And I get to allocate that to working out.
I am very excited for that.
But I am certainly not wishing away the things that keep me from that right now.
I currently spend the time that I am not working out.
Doing tasks that benefit our family as a whole.
Being in the center, sitting down for meals together.
Doing things that I also find a joy in.
So I think the mantra is it will all even out.
But as soon as I start getting a full night sleep,
I cannot wait to wake up consistently early in the morning
and get a workout in before my kids wake up.
I am so excited for that.
And it's okay to look down the road and be excited about that.
and know that it's not here right now.
And that's how I look at my workout or lack thereof.
From Michelle Day,
truly do you ever look at your life and go,
how the fuck did this happen?
All in good ways.
Literally all the time.
I'm not exaggerating all the time.
There are times where I look at my husband
and I say to him, how lucky are we?
How crazy is it that we get to do these things?
How crazy is it that our kids get these opportunities?
How crazy is it that we get to have these opportunities
that we get to do it together?
I think that all the time.
Literally all the time.
We are unbelievably fortunate.
That's it for ask me some things.
Part one, that's right.
That means there is a part two coming up soon.
But first, a brand new edition of, you know what's fucked up?
Hey, you know what's fucked up?
Kids today not getting real snow days
and instead having to attend virtual school.
The hell?
Guys, it is so sad to me.
Now, granted,
there could be an instance here in which the teachers say,
this is what your assignments are for the day
and you do them.
As long as they're done by school tomorrow,
we're in the clear.
There could be teachers like that.
That would be really cool of you.
But the idea of getting 11 and a half inches of snow
and then having to sit in your house like this for the day
and stare at your screen to sit in class sounds like torture.
Sounds like torture.
That sounds like booty cheeks.
Why not, like, I know why
because you didn't build it into your schedule.
I get that.
But like, the teachers should get the opportunity
to play in the snow with their kids
and the kids should get the opportunity to play in the snow.
It really sucks the fun out of,
oh my gosh, we have a day off of school tomorrow.
We used to wake up first thing in the morning,
turn on 6 a.b.c. news and sit there
until the little ticker at the bottom.
The normal news program is going on.
You know, they're talking about every which way
they can possibly address the fact
there is snow falling from the sky
or the current driving conditions.
And all you could do was sit there at the bottom
and watch the ticker.
And you want to know the most ridiculous part about it.
If you missed your letter,
you were there until it went back around.
There was no, I mean,
you could boot up the computer and check that out.
I don't know.
It's bananas to me that we sat there
locked in on the ticker at the bottom of the news program.
And we would have to wait until alphabetically
your school came up.
And that's when you got to find out
and then came on.
You either are going back to sleep
or you're immediately getting dressed and going outside.
That was a good time.
Let's get back to that.
Not the ticker.
That was a pain in the ass.
But playing in the snow, when it's a snow day,
that's what you're supposed to do.
Okay, and that was, you know, what's fucked up.
Now let's get to more of that doom scroll the week.
Our earlier doom scroll was all about snow days.
This one is about literally everything else.
So here we go.
First up on regular ass doom scroll.
Jason finally joined TikTok
and the comments on his first video
are 1% the Nerd Cluster social media team,
which come through nerds.
And 99% of people who have heard my warnings
for our audio listeners,
it is a close-up video of my husband fighting the temptation.
Fighting the temptation.
But it is so close to his face
that you can't see his neck, okay?
And he's eyeing it.
And reveal it's a bag of nerd gummy clusters.
Let's rapid fire some of these comments because,
yes, real ones.
Yes.
Kylie, he just showed up on my FYP.
I promise I wasn't looking.
We need Kylie's permission to be this close.
Everyone remember what Kylie said.
It's the seagulls from Finding Nemo.
AKA mine, mine.
This was Queen Emma's favorite, I think.
It's just my face.
It's literally just my face for one of our promo shoots
that we did when the podcast started.
I looked very serious and I would fear that face as well.
My reaction to the comment section was laughter.
You guys know I love to run to a comment section
and you did not disappoint.
And I love that everyone has heard my warnings
and taken them seriously because yes.
For the people who enjoyed that take,
talk, say, he's a funny guy.
And I look forward to the upcoming up close take talks
that we will get to enjoy together.
I can't wait.
I'm actually very excited.
So last thing on Doom Scroll,
I've been obsessed with this reel from casual with a coffee
for literal weeks.
And I have so many thoughts.
I think I'm finally ready to react to this.
Queen Emma, the clip, please.
What's up?
How are you doing?
This is a mom with a tiny human sitting on the counter
helping her make a coffee.
And the tiny human is inserting themselves
into the situation.
It's boiling.
Let's sit together because I want it to be there.
Our listeners, our audio listeners,
and she was just, oh,
and we have to go do it.
The containers that he is trying to pour out of are huge.
They're like a half gallon of milk container.
And then he picks them up.
Oh my gosh.
Perfect.
I love him, mom.
Okay, yep.
Great.
Can you run out to the car?
And I will, um,
no.
Yeah, hang on.
Everything's okay.
Hop down.
Very fine.
You are going to involve your kids in your everyday activities
or tasks that you have.
I think you have to enter it with this type of mentality
because nothing hits your brain harder than after it
spills.
And the mom goes perfect.
Perfect.
I can't.
First of all, the first time I watched it
and the spoon goes in and the whole cup tips over,
I could have cried.
I could have cried.
I know the feeling of getting something done
and then immediately experiencing the disappointment
where you almost go immediately to blaming yourself, right?
It's immediately like I should have moved the spoon.
I should have taken the cup of coffee with me.
I should have done this.
I should have done that.
I should have taken him off the counter before I walked away.
I should have whatever, right?
You go through, that's what I would do personally.
I have in no way saying that this mom should have done it
differently.
I'm just telling you what my reaction is.
This mom did exactly how this mom was supposed to do it.
You want to know why?
Because it's her child.
And that's how she wants to parent, okay?
Let's start there because no.
We're not going to be out here criticizing moms.
What I will say is, I have watched this no less than 20 times.
Not 20 times back to back to back.
This is, I've revisited this multiple times.
Of course, my initial reaction,
as is with most social media posts,
I sprinted to the comments where I found this hilarious one,
which says, what meds is she taking, asking for a friend?
Okay?
The mom actually answered this.
The woman who posted this video answered this comment
and said, Lexapro.
The reason I'm laughing is because to own this moment
the way that she has not only edited,
posted on the internet and then be like,
you know how I did that so calmly, here's the deal.
For anyone who wants to start some bullshit
about taking whatever you need to do, okay?
I'm gonna tell you right now,
she got her business taken care of
with a medical professional.
That's the only way you get a script for that.
So you know who's opinion, we don't need yours.
How about that?
And also, we're women supporting women.
And sometimes people need help.
And sometimes that help comes in the form of Lexapro
or any other medication that may be necessary.
But watching this and the way that she expertly navigated
the situation, I thought it'd be fun to dramatically
re-enact this clip with exactly how I would react
in this situation.
So Queen Emma is going to set the scene for us.
Interior, Kelsey residence, kitchen, morning, Kylie,
a busy mom of four, her cherishes, her morning coffee
as her soul moment of peace.
Perhaps her favorite beverage.
Her tiny assumements, it's an abouncer
while three older kids run around with uncapped sharpies
and screaming about hearts.
Action.
I don't really know why we have to scream
at the top of our lungs.
It's good morning time.
And I don't think that farts are on the menu for breakfast.
The girls get increasingly closer to mom's coffee
trying to help her mix it towards her.
OK, so I'm going to need everyone to back up.
We're being space invaders.
I need you to back up because this is going to be
a very gentle experience that we're having here.
And if people would like to help,
it's going to be one at a time
and closely monitored by mom's hands.
Kylie steps away briefly in one of the girls
almost instantly sticks the spoon in the coffee
and it spills all over the kitchen.
Why are we touching a coffee?
Yeah.
Who's helping me clean it up?
For the record, it would definitely be
Benny that tried to stir my coffee.
And scene.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah, clock it.
I will tell you, we'd do my best not to yell in an angry way.
Depending on the day, though, that was nice
way of saying it.
So just, you know, OK.
That's it for June Scroll of the Week.
I'll be right back with some more of the real ones
most burning questions for me.
Until then, here's me talking to you
about Intuit Turbo Tax.
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When life happens, DoorDash is always there for me.
Like last week when my kids dumped my entire bottle
of shampoo down the drain
and I had to get a new one fast.
As anyone with tiny humans running around can understand,
that example I just gave is a regular occurrence.
The number of times that I have to randomly order
something from the store,
so I don't have to pack everybody up in the minivan
and go out, that would be insane.
Being a person is tough enough these days,
let alone a parent.
That's why I use DoorDash.
So when more ridiculous things happen,
maybe Finn has a blowout when we're out of the house
and I forget extra diapers.
Or Benny broke all the crayons in half
and now her older sisters can't chill in color.
DoorDash is always there with some seriously clutch deliveries.
Sometimes I do back-to-back DoorDash orders
because we can't decide on where we're ordering dinner from.
I'm a little embarrassed to admit that one, but I did it.
When life happens, DoorDash is there.
Real life needs real relief.
That's why DoorDash is there for whatever you need,
whenever you need it.
We all know life gets crazy.
DoorDash just helps bring a little order to it.
This episode is sponsored by YouTube TV.
If you're a mom, you know we're basically professional multitaskers.
Any given moment, I'm usually feeding at least one
of my tiny humans, letting the dog outside
and talking on the phone with Jason about dinner
or Queen Emma about the podcast.
I'm expected to do four things at once.
So honestly, I expect my TV to do the same.
That's why I'm all about YouTube TV's multi-view.
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We're leaving today and entering a world
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Lightsaber clashing.
The toilet's on tower of terror dropping.
Banshee flying.
Space mountain launching.
Galaxy rewinding.
What's the one that look galaxy rewinding?
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World of other worlds for whatever you love.
Infinite worlds away at the most magical place on earth
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Welcome back, real ones.
Walt, you are gone.
I gathered up another batch of your
ask me some things, questions.
There were simply too many to not split this into two parts.
So here we go.
Let's do these rapid fire style,
which we thought we were doing on the other one,
but here we are.
Okay, first up we got a lot of real ones asking
the same question.
Where was she drawing with that Sharpie?
This question is referring to Benny last week.
She showed up in the studio with Sharpie that was uncapped.
She was drawing on her face.
Not a whole lot.
And there is a chance that I still haven't found
other locations that she may have used the Sharpie.
So stay tuned on that one.
Next question from Jenny Hadley.
Can we get to know Queen E better?
She's always there and she seems like a fab person.
No, from the desk of Queen Emma, you don't want that.
Jokes on Queen Emma because Jenny is not the only one
that asked for that.
I actually had a couple people in my questions
asking for a whole episode with Queen Emma.
So yes, one day, one day Emma's going to need more time.
And she's going to bargain her way into being the guest
on an episode.
She's going to be the ultimate bargaining chip.
And I will hold on to it.
Even better than 2010's photos.
Okay.
We'll get there guys.
Just stick around.
Next up from Chelsea, how do you decide which kid gets
to pick the movie slash show?
I swear this is like World War Three.
Okay, let me tell you.
Sometimes I just veto and I pick.
That's it.
The worst answer you could have possibly gotten.
Sometimes I have to veto everyone when there is an excess
of arguing.
I have tried.
Sometimes we successfully decide on something together.
Sometimes two kids will want something
and one kid will not, to which I say,
well, we're going to watch this.
And if you don't want to watch,
you can leave the room or play quietly.
And other times I say, mom's picking.
And when they say, why?
And I say, because I never pick,
because I really don't do, I don't pull it off in.
But sometimes when you know it's one of those days
that everything is like this between them,
it's your day to pick.
Next one says, from Emmy C. Harman,
I'm going to need some book wrecks from Kylie.
This is honestly a really big compliment.
I don't read.
I can read.
I have ADHD.
That's not me joking around.
That is diagnosed.
Okay, I am flying by the scene of my pants.
And if I try to read a book, I do audiobooks.
I will do audiobooks.
The last book I read was,
was it Chelsea Handlers?
Oh, I read Malala's last book,
which was outstanding.
I say, read loosely.
I listened to it on the audiobook.
It was actually delightful,
because she reads her own audiobook.
I loved it.
It was so good.
If I read a physical book,
I will have to read the same page at least six times
before I comprehend what I have read,
because I will start reading.
And the voice inside my head is reading the page out loud.
And my brain is on a train of thought
that has nothing to do with what I'm reading.
So next up, I don't really know what your question is,
but Courtney Macon said ice.
I think she's asking if I prefer that in my drinks.
I actually prefer my water room temperature.
So.
That's that.
Next from Real One, Brand Morton.
I feel like I miss something,
even though I watch religiously.
Is your dog's name Patricia?
Yes, it is.
Benny calls her Petrugja.
Petrugja.
She, Benny, she's Benny's dog.
So I am trying to convince Patricia to be a studio dog.
She and I are not on the same page yet,
but she is a sweet girl.
And we love her very much.
And yes, I have a wolf farm problem.
And no, I'm not trying to fix it any time soon.
Okay, from Teely, are you a marathon runner?
Hmm.
No, if I transition into my marathon phase of life,
I'm gonna need a wellness check.
A.S.A.P, thank you.
And last question from Real One, Rosa Patton.
If you can be on any reality show, what would it be?
Queen Emma has listed some ideas,
dancing with the stars, survivor,
traders, real housewives, LOL.
Jersey Shore, family feud.
If that counts, the Great British Bake Off.
I don't know if that counts either.
Top chef chopped.
How about, ooh, I know, none.
Guys, this is, it's not an act.
I don't want to be in front of a camera.
Am I sitting here right now?
Yes.
Do I have full veto rights on anything
that comes out of my mouth or that we post?
Also, yes.
Do I tell you what I'm not gonna talk about something?
Also, yes.
I'm not, reality shows can suck my ass.
That's a lie.
I watched Jersey Shore because I love them.
And I also watched traders because, go Donna.
All right, that's it for ask me some things.
And now for a big snow day special finale.
As is tradition in our solo episodes,
Queen Emma has prepared another pop quiz.
We've done trivia about pop culture, animals.
Now we've got a snow day themed quiz.
And this time, we're raising the stakes.
Oh no, you're an asshole.
She didn't tell me about this part.
We're all dawging this.
This time, we're raising the stakes.
If I get at least six of 10 questions right,
this episode will be 60 minutes long.
If I get five or less right, a cool 62.
You're such a bum.
You're such a bum.
Cool 60.
How can you do it?
59.
How?
59.
Snow day.
Cool.
59.
59.
It would be a cool 60 on the 29th episode.
59.
What are the stakes of this game then?
59.
No, it's six out of 10.
If I fail, I will give you 62.
OK, great.
But if I win, I get 59.
Great.
Deal.
This is the dumbest bargaining.
You have finagled this in a way that is unfair.
OK.
I just want to put that out there.
Number one, in the most wintry Disney animated film
Frozen, Elsa creates a snow monster
to make Anna and the others go away from her castle.
What is this snow monster called?
His name is Marshmallow.
That's correct.
I know it is.
You don't have to tell me twice.
I'm not getting a bonus point for seeing that.
You're lost.
What species of monkey lives the furthest north
of any type of monkey and is known to throw snowballs?
The options are A, Northern Night Monkey,
B, Siberian Tamarins, C, Japanese McCaxe,
or D, the critically endangered Frozen Shiffling in Gibbon.
It's not D, it is C, that's the Japanese McCaxe.
Fuck, I underestimated you.
That is correct.
Sucka.
There's actually really cute videos of them.
If you're bored in your free time,
you can look up videos of them sitting in little hot springs,
like little natural hot tubs.
And there's like snow on the tops.
They're so cute.
Okay.
What was the name of the villain in Nickelodeon
original hit film Snow Day?
The villain?
Oh, oh, Doyle.
Oh, Doyle rules.
Tell me I'm wrong.
You were thinking of Billy Madison?
No, I'm not.
Is there no Doyle in the film Snow Day?
They team up at the end.
He's the bad kid.
Are you talking about the adult with the snow plow?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, okay.
Well, this is embarrassing,
because I was really, I thought for sure I was right.
So it's not even close.
I'm not even close.
I got that one wrong.
Well, it's the snow plow man.
It is the snow plow man, but he has a name.
I mean, they call him the snow plow man.
Isn't it the print?
Is it?
Did I say the snow plow man?
After you said the wrong answer, so...
You think I'm going to give you a...
Okay.
You're so mad about the Japanese macaques, it's fine.
Yep.
Whatever.
Number four, every Philadelphia is born
with an admiration of renowned bowtie
donning local meteorologist Glen Hurricane Schwartz.
What is Glen's legal middle name?
That's so ridiculous.
Is it A, Eric, B, Jeffrey, C, Alexander, D, Big Ed?
I'm going to go with C, Alexander.
That's incorrect.
It is A, Eric.
That's ridiculous.
Name one non-holiday song about snow or wintery things.
Do you see how serious I'm taking this right now?
Is it a frickin' frozen song?
It's literally name one song.
You're on the right track.
It's any song.
Let it go.
There you go, point.
Wow.
That was a long path to get there.
That was a long, windy road.
Number six, your favorite coffee franchise Duncan,
formerly known as Dunkin' Donuts,
came out with their special white hot chocolate flavor
in what year?
A, 1776, the year of our founding fathers.
B, 2012, C, 1989, Lolls, D, 2006.
There was a serious push on white chocolate flavored things.
And my heart is telling me to go 2012.
But my gut is saying 2006.
Everyone always says follow your gut.
But I'm gonna follow my heart, B, 2012.
Should I trust this one?
Go with your gut, dude.
I tried to get my gut, dude.
Balls, I was trying to read your face
while I was going through that explanation
and I saw you smirk and I thought maybe that's what it is.
Number seven in the classic friends episode,
the one with Phoebe's wedding Phoebe and Mike,
famously get married in a blizzard.
Who ends up walking Phoebe down the aisle?
That would be, oh no.
I'm not there yet.
Oh, I know exactly what one this is too,
because they do it right out in front of the coffee shop.
Oh no, I know it's not Joey.
Joey has a different job.
I'm going with my gut, Chandler.
That's correct.
Okay, I see that time I went with my gut.
Okay.
Number eight, snow leopards are the apex predators
of the world's highest landscapes.
Their main prey is A, blue sheep, B, arctic foxes,
C, marmots, marmots, marmots, marmots.
C, marmots, or D, the Grinch who stole Christmas.
I'm gonna regret this.
I already know I am.
C, marmots.
It's incorrect, it's A, it's blue sheep.
Buck!
So you know, you have four correct.
Two questions remain.
Suck my ass.
Nine, name one professional or collegiate sports team,
name that directly references something wintry or cold.
The Minnesota Timber Wolves.
I'll take it.
Thank you.
10, the first documented ice cream sandwich.
In 1894, did not use cookies to sandwich the ice cream.
What food item was used instead?
Easy.
I was gonna say it as a joke,
but I think you're gonna take it seriously.
I was gonna say flame and hot cheetos.
The options are A, waffles, B, sponge cake,
C, sourdough, D, flame and hot cheetos.
I am going to guess.
Okay, this is my thought process here, okay?
Obviously, I'm gonna do process of elimination.
Obviously, it's not flame and hot cheetos,
because no one would make that into an ice cream sandwich
and also they were not in existence in 1894, okay?
Let's be real.
Two, B, sponge cake, that's unrealistic.
That's just unrealistic.
There's no integrity to that.
So I'm gonna disagree with that.
That would be an ice cream cake.
It would not be an ice cream sandwich.
And if I'm wrong, they're wrong.
How about that?
Like all of the best food that we have,
it comes from other countries.
Because yes, my concern is, I don't know when waffles
were created.
And I'm assuming that they were already created
because other countries have them figured out.
And that doesn't just like,
that doesn't just happen overnight.
So I am going with C, sourdough.
You are incorrect, it's sponge cake.
That's incorrect.
I'm telling you, that's wrong.
And that's a cool 62, everybody.
We did it.
You asked me, congratulations, everybody.
Let me tell you about that, okay?
Let me tell you, like I said already,
if it was sponge cake, that's ice cream cake.
That's the, that's ridiculous.
I was gonna say it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
It's not.
I've heard a lot of dumb things this week.
But that's dumb because that's ice cream cake.
Obviously, if sponge cake and ice cream are together,
that's ice cream cake, everybody knows that.
So I don't even like ice cream and I know that.
So this is, this was cheap and ridiculous.
And I think that fine, you get 62.
And you're gonna regret it.
So can't wait to find out what that means.
You know, you already knew I was mad at you last week.
For next week, you know I'm mad at you.
I gotta take one for the team.
Thank you to Queen Emma for another ridiculous pop quiz.
I got five out of 10, right?
This time, which means 62 minutes.
I'm still, I'm very angry with myself about.
I'm very angry with myself about the animal questions.
And on that note, that's officially wrap on this week's episode.
I'm not gonna lie.
You can find even more exclusive never before seeing clips
on my YouTube channel on more shit Monday.
I'll be back next week with a brand new episode.
Reminder NGL comes out on Friday next week.
And it's our Super Bowl special.
Make sure to send in some questions for me.
Tag us at NGL with Kylie.
Follow us on social media at NGL with Kylie
for clips throughout the week.
Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
Not gonna lie, it's a wave original brought to you
by Facebook Marketplace and Bridgerton.
Thanks to the real ones for tuning in.
I actually have one of the most mild fill it off your accents.
I'm sorry, I'm recording this right now.
I am so sorry.
Why did you look at me like that?
What the fuck is happening?
Why'd you look at me like that?
There's a wild stuff going on over there.
I say water.
That's about it.
You know what comes out funny?
And I always admit to this.
As and ask both come out funny.
Just those, yeah.
Besides that, I don't know what you're talking about.
You would never know, you're from Philly.
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Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
