Larry Miller + Ryan Bingham (Carolla Classics)

0:00Welcome to Growl Classic, I'm your host Superfan, Gio Boni. This is the Pond Piaz, we play the best moments highlights and fans electing clips from all 17 years of the Adam Corolla show. We'll be able to gain access to the ad free archives of the Adam Corolla show, as well as the Adam Doctor Drew show, and the newer podcast Feed It Out. Make sure to check out at AdamCorollsubs.com. Sign up, subscribe, listen and free. If you'd like to request a clip, please email us at classicsad AdamCoroll.com. Alright, let's get to the clips. On our first day, we have Adam Corolls show episode 6, featuring Larry Miller, who's from March of 2009, the first episode of March. Larry and Adam reminiscing about all departments and the type of dirtball characters who would be in the departments with him. Oh, my kids, I'm going to, I am going to ruin them because I had such a miserable childhood

1:02and their childhood is so incredibly bountiful and Daddy's just going to ruin them with all his horrible stories. But I remember just as a kid going to another kid's house and seeing the football helmet lamp on his, on his end table and going, what the fuck? What is your dad? Is he a 49er? No, no. How did the lamp, there's a lamp, there's a lamp coming out of a 49er helmet. Jesus Christ, what do you do, mortgage to house? No, it's a, I got that. Remember once in a while you just see something, there's a, there's a bed shape like a race car. Holy shit. Who's here? You're dead, Howard Hughes. And then every once in a while, it'll be one of these things where it's like, again, it was never, the Corolls had nothing. But once I go to someone's house and it's like, you'd see that crappy old

2:06timey looking like popcorn maker, like the one with the big wire wheels on it that was red that look kind of corny, but it was a popcorn thing and the dad would wheel. Jesus Christ, you got it. I need a bag to breathe into. You don't have to go to the theater. You got an old timey pop, you know, the gumball machine or, God forbid, there'd be, there always be that one guy whose dad had the slot machine that was parked in his denim. Holy shit. I remember just like, now my kid, my kid's going to be driving a golf cart on the way to his giant. He's going to be driving a golf cart that's going to have the, you know, Rams helmet put on it, right? I mean, in it, inside of his giant castle and flatable castle, like this stuff didn't exist at home when we were kids, right? You could go to amusement park and see a gumball machine or popcorn machine. There's no such thing as any of this crap at home. What's that, Donnie? You know, we had the Mickey Mouse telephone

3:09in the apartment that freaked Mike out. You had that as adults though. We had, yeah, Donnie. I brought it from the office. Quick, quick digression. When Donnie and I used to live in our first apartment in North Hollywood, it was on an alley. And I used to work on my car out of the garage in the alley. And an alley is essentially a funnel for misfits. There's a gravitational pull to all these right? I do think like cops ought to just set up in the alley because it's really it's like the drug addicts, the drifters, the drifters, the, you know, the second story guys, the guys are breaking in a car. They'll just end up being sort of sucked toward the alley. I don't know, even if they're not doing anything wrong, they would prefer to walk through the alley as opposed to just the well lit Laurel Canyon Boulevard where the apartment was on. They just sit back there and work on my car. And there'd always be some guide coming in and inevitably strike a conversation up with

4:13me. And I was naive and nice and I had no self esteem. And I was 20, 19. Look, guys, they're talking to me. And if he said to me, like, Hey, man, it's going to blow out my old lady and I need a place to crash. You think I could come up and crash on the, that's it. Yeah, come on up. Crash on the sofa. It was a one bedroom. So there was a cement finisher named Mike who had no front teeth. Who was one of these guys? I don't know if he had a wildly, I don't know if he had a wicked, sensey humor. But he'd be like, he'd be one of these guys. He's looking at straight face. He'd be like, he'd show up one day and we'd show up with like a black eye. Jesus, Mike, what happened? Jesus, I don't know. Some guy punched me for no reason. What happened? I was just in a bar. I told him, his wife, Busy Stunk, next thing, he's coming at me. But he's saying a matter of fact, kind of way. And there's like, I didn't know if he was serious or not. He drove a ranchero, which is the poor man's El Camino. It's the Ford Ranchero. The driver's side door was caved in so

5:16that he had to climb out of the passenger side at a crawl across the transmission hump and get out one time. By the way, first of all, naturally, it was caved in because like his mouth, he had to have a car that someone just hit for no reason. No reason. Somebody just, and then this happened. Anyway, go ahead. This guy literally, his brother lived in an apartment down the other alley. Remember that? He, I'm sure he's doing great today. He was a typewriter repairman. So his business, he's, you know, he's going gangbusters. That's for session proof, by the way. And so I remember one time, this is how out of it, this guy Mike was, we pulled out in front of the golden chopstick, which was a cheap Chinese food place. Those down low canyon after finishing finishing, I don't know where the story is end, but we finished my grandmother's slab at her house when I was adding a kitchen on. We went over the golden chopstick. This guy lived almost, he subsisted exclusively on

6:17on pork fried rice. That was all he ate. We, so we're out front of the place. He's got to ran chair with the door carved in. It's three shades of primer. He's crawling out of the passenger side door. He's covered up to his, up to his waist in concrete. You know, he's been finishing concrete. They're shit all over him. I'm covered with shit. The world's best looking woman for some reason, like out of a survivor video, just goes walking down the sidewalk just in a mini skirt, like an 80s video. Just, it was walking right past this right by. And he says to me, he points at her from, you know, as we're crawling out of the ranch, he says, there's it. Oh, Jesus, look at that piece of ass. We ought to, we ought to talk to her. This is Mike, you know, I'm thinking I didn't say anything, but it's like you're covered with, you have no front teeth. You're covered with cement. You're crawling out of a denim, ran chair. I said, Mike, let's, let's just grab the food and get back to grandma's house. And then he stopped and he looked at me very seriously. He goes, it's a matter. Don't you want me pussy? I'm thinking serious. But I thought I was gay at the time, but you know what though?

7:22In a way, consciously or unconsciously, he was right. And that's also a story about life, meaning why not? Right. You, as you was saying, well, you're 19, you had no self esteem. That kind of proves it. Here's a guy. No teeth. Gores cave didn't. He's caved and he's covered with crap. And he's still willing to say, so what are you in school? Right. So you go to school around here? Yeah. Are you an actress? He's willing to give it a shot. He, well, somebody wins the lottery. He did a few things at our place. I, I said, Donnie, here's my buddy, Mike, he's going to crash on the sofa. Donnie had a great, I didn't even know. I just, oh, you just came home. Yeah. This guy did a few things. It was, it was a couple of good moments. One is he was on the sofa. He wanted to use the phone. Donnie had a Mickey mouse phone. Literally, it was Mickey Mouse. He put the phone on his arm. And it was one of these things where old meets new because we're like, Mike, go ahead and use the phone. He's like, where's the phone? And Donnie's pointing at Mickey Mouse and he's saying, it was a lamp phone. And he, remember just going, what the fuck is this? He's like,

8:24you're talking to Mickey's mouth or whatever it is. But at a certain point, this was like out of a movie. Like he's, he's drunk and passed out on the sofa, sawing logs, like snoring like it's only a concrete contractor with a, you know, missing front teeth and drunk. And he's, he's passed out. And Donnie and I are having one of those little spats in the hall. He's like, you know, don't wake up in the morning and there's this crusty looking guy. He's wearing his pants covered with concrete. So Donnie's giving me, get him out of here. And I'm doing it. He's good people. He's good people. And that's, I don't want this guy in my, and he's got his, in the middle of the argument, he pops up, does, does that hoxalooge and fall passes out again. And it was like, it was like, I don't want to move right, right? I'm saying he's a good guy. He's not going to cause any trouble. It's right when he gets up, blows the snot rocket out of his nose and passes right back out again. Well, Adam, you didn't tell me it was carry grand. I mean, now that I know that I see what kind of quality people he is. Well, we'll use this ASCOT ticket to Lou

9:25Gi off the window later on. But yeah, that was, that was one of the many, that was one of the many guys I still run into in this alley. Don't, don't hang out now, at least kids. Well, unless you're a contractor, contractor without teeth and you need to place to live. But by the way, we all have bathrooms, we're all people and we're all human. But when it's, when I think of someone like that, and I've known plenty, but we gave someone like that also a place to live when, in the first apartment I had, when, with the same, idiot friends, you're there with, you called them, easy, ed the electrician. And he turned out. He was just, he was interesting enough. But when you're that age, the age you describe, right? We think this makes us poets and young men of the world to say, oh, we're really living with people really casting our net wide. We'll, we'll see who, all humanity is interesting. But it turns out the guy was just, he was, he was a, he was a big drinker and he was a big drugtaker. He would take, he would take everything apart. And we thought, and he's an electrician. This is so cool. He can fix anything. And you know what, though, he never put anything

10:27back together after about six, seven things over a month or so. I know. He would just take him apart and then pass out. And then we just had a lot of stuff on the floor. And finally, we said, you know what, you got to go. And he was fine. He had a place for a month. This is New York. So it was cold, you know, and right. And he got, he got another place. These are the stories, by the way, that should end with one of those. And today, that man, yeah, except for this guy is the governor of Illinois. This guy was either beaten to death in prison or claimed by hepatitis. I mean, there's no way Mike can still be around. And by the way, there's a couple of funny things. You've, you've been around long enough to have this realization when you realize, wait a minute, I'm older than that guy was there. Like, Donnie, you and I know we're older than Mike was then, even though he seemed like a grizzled, salty, murch and marine. He, he, what we are now older than he was then we have our teeth. But he could have been 35 and just seemed he was, he was

11:28haggard. Hello and welcome to Pluto fo. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto TV. We're all your bloodbusters favorites are landing all summer law. Catch anchor man, the legend of Ron Burgundy. Fantastic. The Matrix trilogy. Welcome to The Real World. Mean Girls. Side up. I'm the key in the world. And so much more for showtime. Express nothing. They're free 24 seven. That is so a fact. On Pluto TV, stream now. Pay never. All right, there's Adam Kola Show 6. Larry and Adam talking about dirtbag roommates and free loaders. We have apartments when you're young. Coming next, we have Adam Kola Show 944. This episode's never been played before in Crayola Classics. Ryan Bingham. Alson Rosen and Brian Bishop from 2012. Oh, oh, oh, oh, Riley. Auto parts. Yeah, they're in the business. Keep your car in the road. You know

12:28that. They're off for friendly, helpful service and the parts knowledge you need to maintain and repair your car. I got race cars. Race cars are funny. They're high performance, but they're simple. So you can work on a lot of the stuff yourself. And that's why I always go to a Riley. They've got thousands of parts and accessories in stock, either in store or online. So you never have to worry if you're in a jam. Their team can test your battery for free in or out of the car. So if it needs to be replaced, they'll help you find the right one. And if you need windshield wipers replaced, brake light fixed or a quick service, they've got you covered as well. I've come in there scrambling before and been astonished and how friendly and helpful everyone is there. And they know their stuff. They even held the door for me last time as it's a one in Glendale. The professional parts people, the Riley Auto parts are your one stop shop for all things. Auto do it yourself. And you can find what you need either in store or online. It's a

13:34Riley, right Dawson? Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit them at oReillyauto.com slash Adam. That's oReillyauto.com slash Adam. Hello and welcome to Pluto fo. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto TV. We're all your bloodbusters favorites are landing all summer long. Catch anchor man, the legend of Ron Burgundy. Fantastic. The Matrix trilogy. Welcome to the real world. Mean Girls. Side up. Tite and egg. From the key in the world. And so much more for showtime. Express nothing. They're free 24 seven. That is so fast. On Pluto TV, stream now. Pay never. Good day, Al Cerroza. Hello, Adam Krola. I spilled soda all over myself and my underwear right now is sopping wet and I'm super fucking uncomfortable, but hi, let me ring it out with my mouth. Deal. Good day, ball brine. Get your tits out of my face. I want to go to bed.

14:35Boy, sad news. My buddy Alan Kirshenbaum took his own life yesterday. And it's so horrifically sad because he was so gregarious and such a great just ball of energy and it was like out of a movie. I emailed Phil Rosenthal yesterday who is one of Alan's best friends. And I said, I'll see you tomorrow night at your house for the pizza and all and he wrote back very cryptically. Did you hear about Alan? And I wrote back. There's Alan Kirshenbaum. I would say go to our website, but we don't have a website. And I would also say don't bother going to Adam Krola.com anymore because nothing shows up when you go there either. You go to our Facebook page. You can go to our Facebook page if you want to see the late great Alan Kirshenbaum. Now Alan Kirshenbaum's dad is

15:40Freddie Roman, famous comedian and Alan, I'll just put it to you this way. Me and Kevin Hinch were locked in a bungalow with Alan for four months and when we left that place after learning to hate almost every human being we'd come in contact with or at least have zero research somewhere actually to be fair to everyone we worked with. It's not just that we hated you. It's that we had zero respect for your ability and we hated you. So it wasn't just hate, you know, it was you have zero ability. We never want to work with you again and we dislike you as human beings. But other than that, let's get together. Alan, Kevin and I decided to go out and have lunch with at the Lakeside Country Club once or twice a month after that period and by the way, this is our sitcom that did not work. This was our failed sitcom. This was the pilot that did not get picked up. So despite the stench of failure about him, you still loved him. We thought so much of Alan and like I said, I'm a tough

16:43nut and Kevin's a tougher nut and like I said, one of the things we agreed on is that Alan Kirshenbaum was a great guy. What did he do? He was what he's what call a showrunner and writer, showrunner, we developed shows, head writer, showrunner, debaba, blah, blah, but sitcoms. And for many years in the business and when you do a show when you're a couple of green horns like Kevin and I were, they hook you up with an experienced showrunner and they do a lot of like, you know, you do a lot of like what do they mean by that and what do they want from us and what are they looking for and he is that he sort of shepherds you through this horrible, unfunny, shit-filled maze known as doing a four camera sitcom. So we loved Alan and I had no idea he was gregarious. He was never moody. He was always, he was, he was philosophical. Like, you know, there's a lot of setbacks in this

17:50business. There's a lot of, hey, we did a kick-ass pilot and it didn't get picked up, you know, what where do you go from there? And, you know, Alan's take was to the next project. And so when I heard, now I was getting ready to go do a show in Redondo Beach with Dennis Prager. So I got the cryptic thing back from Phil Rosenthal that said, did you hear about Alan? And I wrote him back and said, no, but did, you know, don't tell me, well, we'll talk. I'm going out the door. I don't want him to write back something horrible happened and then I not get back to him because I'm, we've gone for the next five hours. So then when I was driving out to Redondo, I talked to Mike Lynch and Mike Lynch was also friendly with Alan and knew I had heard and done the math that he had passed away. I thought he had upstroke or a heart attack or something. I had no idea that he took his own life and that was not in the lexicon of possibilities for this individual if you knew Alan Kirshenbaum.

18:57And there's the, well, yeah, but the tears of a clown. No, no, no, we were locked in a bungalow with this guy for 12 hours a day. You ate together, you talked together, you told, you know, talked about your family, you talked about everything. He did not have a, like, oh, I'm just keeping my game face on and, you know, and I'm going to be on in front of these guys. He was just a genuine guy and you just, you never would have, I just got off the phone with Kevin Han. She said, you know, out of a thousand people, he would have been 999 on your, your list of taking their own lives. And, you know, we started talking about it. First, I had to do what I always do, which is why do the ones I like that have something to contribute go? There's so many fucking people that I don't need this planet doesn't need, you know what I mean? But Steve Jobs, Kirshenbaum, they're gone. You're guys. Your guys, Jobs and Kirshenbaum. Oh my gosh. My boys. Yeah, they're gone. Yeah.

20:00And there's so many people just had so much to contribute and just had such a great force. He had a great life force, Brian. I don't know if you ever, I don't know if you ever met him because you didn't get on to that, that job. I didn't ever meet him, but he, he, I got an email thrown from Twitter once Alan Kirshenbaum is not following you. And I remember the name you talking about. Oh, that's kind of cool. And I looked at his tweets. He's a funny guy and enjoyed all of it. I had a family, very intact family, very loving family man. Just, you know, Mike, I, you know, I don't know what you can add to this, but you knew him fairly well as well. No, he, after the pilot, you know, he tried to help me out with some stuff I was writing. We went and had lunch and coffee a couple of times and he was, he was a mentor. And I completely agree with Hensh, the, as far as the, one of the last, he was jolly. He was literally jolly. Right. Yes. It was such a shock. Yes. So, you know, and I said, I was talking to Phil Rosenthal this morning about it. And I said, you know,

21:01it's, it's, it's, it's, it can be a perfect storm, you know, some financial stuff going wrong, some family stuff going wrong. I'm talking to Phil about some of the stuff that may have been in his life at the time mixed with what I call an impulse buy, which is, it, I don't know what percentage of suicides are an impulse buy, meaning I'm having a bad month and there's a gun or there's some pills like I'm, I, meaning I don't know if I would do this two weeks from now. I don't know what percentage of people I, I got to believe that he, if he was around today, he wouldn't try it again tomorrow. I think some of this stuff is literally just an impulse. Anyway, just is, is, is saddened news is, is, is, and, and in a, in a business, you know, just chalk a block filled with people I wish would kill themselves.

22:02Uh, the, the one guy, I mean, there's a handful of guys and, and it, and again, it, you know, we, I was talking to Phil and he said, well, we'd used to go out to breakfast, you know, every Sunday with a bunch of other riders and, and show runners and comedians and guys like that. And he said, maybe we'll do it at this place, this deli, probably holds two, three hundred people and he said, a probably like to do an event for him. And he said, I don't think it's going to be big enough. And, you know, that's when I realized that's his legacy. Everyone loved him. And in a, in a business where it's really hard to have people love you because of the circumstances and everything falls apart and every, you know, and it's one of these things that, it's a business where no one agrees on anyone where you go, hey, I love this, you know, I, I love, uh, I love, uh, Marty Fiddlesteen. Fuck that guy. Right. He took two points, took two points off of me when we're doing, uh, three and a half gays. And right. Yeah, great show. So, but I like him, but no, you

23:10hate him because you worked with him under in half a game and he fucked you out of some points. I mean, that's the business. That's the business. Alan Kirschenbaum, everyone agreed on. His name would come up. I'd work with Kirschenbaum. Great. Love him. Love that guy. So his, uh, whatever event we plan to commemorate his life, it will be, uh, very well attended by a bunch of people who, who are somewhere between heartbroken and confused. Uh, but, uh, on happier news, you want on your cancer jog? Yeah, buddy. The five K, the big LA brain tumor walk. Can handle 10, huh? I know. I wanted to bail out after doing it because there's an option to loop around again, like one arrow pointing one man, the other arrow saying head back to home and I'm like, it's getting kind of hard. Right. And one pointing down for those who aren't great shape. This is where you hang your head if you want to go back. Right. So, uh, so how many, so did you do? Did you make it? It was good, man. It was really good. Um, we, you know, it was the first ever one. So I think the goal was a thousand people to walk. We ended up with 1600. And I think we want to raise about 100,000. You guys went

24:15over. I know. Well, next year, work it out, plan it a little better. You can hit that target. I really hit that target of a thousand people. Uh, geez, you're off by a lot. I know. We, we used more 50 percent. I did do the job on money because you went over. Well, yeah, it's like prices, right? Yeah. Penalty sucks. You'd think it'd be good. Yeah. I know. But it's crowded. So, anyway, besides that, now we end up raising over 250,000. Wow. Big, big day. Um, there are actually some listeners out there who signed up for my team and walked with me and had a great time talking to them. And uh, yeah, man, these are a good day. There was, okay. So a weird thing happens. There was a, I won't call them a mutual friend, but a famous person who you're friends with. And I, I don't want to say his name because it was a weird interaction where I saw him. He showed up with his wife and his kid. And I was like, hey, Brian, P.M. Crawl show. He's like, hey, man. Bill Kirkman, power. It's like, hey, man. And he's like, uh, yeah, it's just, uh, you know, we're out here and is like, okay, well, catch you later. Okay. There may have been some who was. Yeah. We got to say who he was. Yeah. So, I feel shitty. Dave Kekner.

25:20Not a white guy. Gag. Not that he said his wife. Oh, shit. I'm just saying. Yeah. This are cine on his great to see him out there supporting a brain cancer research and fundraising, all that. But I was like, hey, man, you know, because we used to work at the station together, nights, over time. Time. So he knew who I was. I think I was like, he does not like you though. I don't think he does because he was like, all right, man, catch you later. Well, yeah, but what, what was, well, it was an hour before the walk. I got to say a couple things and in our Cineo's defense. Um, I had this, uh, I saw Chris Hardwick the other day. And he was wearing a cap. He was wearing a cap. Yeah. And we're, we're friends and we go back, you know, 15 years. And he gave me the, uh, hey man, how you doing? And I gave him the, hey man, how you doing? Because a lot of people just go, hey man, how you doing? And then I sort of sat back down and, and then it started to bike. I thought, what do I know that guy? How well do I know? And he was

26:21wearing a hat. It was a little bit dark. And then later on, but he would have walked. If I didn't catch him, he would have walked out of there going, what the fuck was that? You know what I mean? So celebrity, uh, Arsenio, I've been on the street with Arsenio. I mean, back when he was turning gay tricks after the show, but before celebrity friends, I've been on the street. Arsenio, when he walks down the street, uh, Arsenio, hey, uh, hey dog man, and he just kind of walks down the street doing the, hey man, hey man, hey man, hey man, he didn't quite hear who you were. That's possible. There is, there's the, there's a mode that you get into of the, hey man, hey, it's a politician mode. Hey, yes, of course, yes, looking good. How's your wife? You know, and they do so much of that. Hey, remember, we were, yes, of course, sure, we did. Yes, of course, sure. Yes, say hi to your wife. And they have to ask one of their aids with the name of the wife is or whatever, but that's, they celebrities get into that mode. So I think that may have been what happened. And he was there. And the fact he was there, it means he was

27:21supporting and helped you know, donate and whatever. And thanks to everyone who did donate, my team ended up being the sixth ranked team of like, you know, 50 or 60 teams of fundraising. So thank you. Well, who was possibly ranked higher? There were some people who had a lot of corporate, you know, matching donations and stuff. Paul Brianna. Paul Bryce. Paul, not by choice. Yeah. Paul, if you want to donate to the team, Brian Bishop.com, we can still fundraise. And thanks you guys for making it a great event. It was fantastic. I speaking of great events at a nice event, even though I had a sort of heavy heart. I had to explain to my wife that, oh no, I'm an animal. Like she was like, I really, you finding out about the death of your good friend Alan Kirshenbaum on the way to the theater driving alone to the theater. Like I wasn't, I didn't find out that afternoon. I found out as I was pulling into the theater that my, my good friend had died. And she's like, I didn't want you to have to perform. I was like, that's funnier than I ever was.

28:23And she's like, how the fuck do you do that? And I go, you don't understand. There's something wrong with me. I mean, I guess you do understand. I think you do understand. There's something wrong with me and that I can learn about the tragic death of a dear friend 25 minutes before I walk out on stage and then tell jokes for two hours and then go back and be sad about it. But it's a scary switch that can be thrown. I don't know if other people are that way, it's part of my, you know, non-human quality. So, um, but it's also not not to make the case that you're human. Because we know you're not, but better watch it girl. There is something, excuse me. You dance and close to the edge. There's something that's a nice escape about performing. I mean, you can feel horrible the minute you get off. But it's, I think it's nice to be able to have that whatever, ever and a half, two hour break to just immerse yourself in something else. You know, what's weird is I don't even break it down that far. It's just I'm here to do this. I'm going to get in the moment

29:27and I'm going to react and I'm going to listen and I'm going to try to be funny or poignant or interesting or all the above. And these other events that took place before have nothing to do with this right now. And I'm not affected in one way. Now I will be soon as I walk off stage right now. It's just did it pop into your head on stage? No, it was funny. I felt like an NFL player had lost his dad or his brother. And I was doing an out pattern and the ball was in the air. I was just looking at the ball, trying to catch the ball. I wasn't thinking about my deceased brother or dad at the time. But yeah, and I didn't know he'd taken his own life when I was on stage because that probably would have factored in a little bit more. But you know, the funnier? Yeah, I would have kicked it up a notch. No, I've done it. I've had it happen a million times where I've been sleep deprived or upset or had a bad day. And that's my bet. I've had my best love line episodes when I was strung out pissed off and whatever because I tried to overcompensate. Anyway,

30:33great event. Yes. I was going to say the thing about suicide because I've a few times lost people to suicide is that I've always I always had this feeling afterwards in addition to the morning and the missing the person. But just like, God, I just feel like something wrong happened. Like, this was not supposed to happen. Like the whole universe made an error, which is obviously you can make the argument that that's not really the case at all. But that's always been my feeling. Yeah, it just this is it's like things turned inside out like it what this wasn't supposed to happen. How how did this happen? The I you know, and the just happened and I don't even know any of the details and I'm really not even interested in finding out the details other than this is as big a surprise if you knew this individual as you could ever imagine and you know, it really not to sound corny or like Oprah when she does the if this could happen in this town it could happen anywhere. But more of the story, keep a close watch on those you love, those you tolerate,

31:43and yourself because truly if Alan Kirshenbaum could take his own life, everybody's a candidate. There's nobody who's not on that list. He absolutely was on my list of impossible. Impossible. As a matter of fact, when I heard he passed, it was I had it down to disease, heart attack or car accident. There was no there was no box for take your on. I can't even say suicide. I have to keep saying take your own life. It just it doesn't even I can't even equate him with suicide. On a more happier note, Mike August was in in rare form. He was he was tending the bar and serving the man, Gria and he is now hooked on man, Gria. I'm happy to say one of one of the nicest, you know that I was talking about it last night on stage. I don't I think we

32:46were talking about it before in the podcast that compliment or people are confused. Like was I talking about a show this guy, my fox pilot and he was like, he wasn't complimenting me. He was complimenting me by saying, what's wrong with fox? And I said, I don't know, they passed. Why? What's wrong with them? And he wasn't saying you're funny or it's good. He was like, their idiots, what they must have something to do with they they they want to use this for something else. I said, no, they passed. Well, what would they do that for? Like it was like the greatest non-complement compliment in the world. My man, Gria, Mike August is not a drinker. He now walks around with a glass of man, Gria backstage, which could only he's like Dean Martin. He's turning into Dean Martin. He's got the gold diggers backstage. Actually, he's the gold diggers. He has the toilet paper swipers backstage, bunch of chicks wrapped in toilet paper, you know, over the nipples in vagina area. So very tasteful. So he's walking around with a glass of man, Gria. Then he comes,

33:50first off, you got to love Mike. And I have to love me too, because it's just who we are. And why Mike never gets sick. And why I never get sick. I'm backstage and Mike has a Styrofoam cooler that's sitting in the sink and it's filled with water and melted ice and little pieces of ice just sort of melted in there with beers. Well, yeah, you're right. It's a good point. Ice cubes that aren't what they used to be. Yes, shells of themselves. And they're floating around in this this chest, this Styrofoam ice cooler, which has beers floating around in it and a bottle of man, Gria with a cork shoved into it. And I'm getting ready to go out on stage. And I go, well, I like my man, Gria, and I like it over ice, but we don't have ice. So I reach my hand into the filthy water that is in the Styrofoam ice cooler. And I reach out a handful and I throw it in a plastic cup and I dump the man, Gria on top of it. And you know, I'm sure it wasn't rinsed down. I'm sure enough people

34:51had their hands in the water and they were grabbing beers and the beer labels and the beer bottles were probably dusting. It was floating around. You're an alcoholic. And I had no problems with it. So you are an alcoholic. Mike, then two stories with Mike, Mike, and I don't know what percentage of people would have reached into the fairly filthy cooler, grab the ice out with their hand, throw it in a cup and filled it up. Okay. Mike would have done it because Mike, later on, comes from the back, comes from the front of the house and he goes, I had one of those bitter mans, I'm the man, Gria cocktail. And he goes, Jesus Christ, fucking fantastic. And I said, yeah, it's fucking good, right? And he said, yeah. And then during the break, we had an intermission. We walked backstage and there's the bitter man cocktail sitting in the room in the back, the the break room, like in the green room, back there. It's just sitting there. No man Gria dumped over the top of it. Just the just the, uh, Ryan, the orange or lemon juice. And it's just

35:55sitting there. And I said, Mike, you didn't get your man Gria on there. And he said, that's not mine. I said, well, who says that? He said, I don't know. I said, well, Dennis Prager doesn't drink and his buddy is producer Allen doesn't drink. There's no one else back. It's no one back here. Who's is that? I don't know. Why doesn't have man Gria dumped over it? I don't know. I said, are they doing it at the bar that way? They got to dump the man Gria over the top. No, no, they're dumping it. I got one at the bar. I said, but who's is this? It's just, I have no idea. I said, well, why is you no man Gria? It's just, I don't know. But I dumped the man Gria over it in five minutes later. He's walking around drinking it. And then later on, he's like, I don't like it over ice. I just like it straight up. I like it strong. I said, fine. He's been drinking the cup. He literally has five eighths of an inch of swill that's gone back and forth from his mouth and it's room temperature at the bottom of a clear glass. And it's the end of the night. And we're signing autographs and a

36:56couple of attractive like 30-year-old girls come up. And they're like, well, what is this? The man Gria bottles on the table and they're like, what is that? Well, it's wine. It's kind of, you know, it's got some punch to it. Like takes his clear glass with his warm spittle of man Gria at the bottom of it. And he goes, you want to hit? Taste it. It's delicious. You take a hit. And they're like, uh, no, we're good. No, no, you'll love it. And they're like, they're looking at the strange man with the, you know, when the drink gets down to the five eighth mark. The sweat on the forehead is like, I have a hit man. It's serious. I got more back. Go ahead. And they're like, no, like, and I realized when you think like you think, do you think other people think like you think like he would have definitely had a he would drink it out of someone else's mouth. It sounds like, oh, he's he's this close to butt chugging. It's like a chef offering you a butt of like friend roulet off the dessert cart. That's right. That's not all night. Oh, this is this is less than a lateral move from eating off of the room

38:02service tray that's on the floor outside in the hallway. I mean, this is this is which I've done too. But wait, we're talking about like packaged crackers though, we're actually grabbing someone like half front sandwich whole strawberry. It might that August just walked, did I just see August just walked past this thing? There's girls that hit off it. Yeah, it's down in here just because I'm going to get a fucking laugh out of this. Then the uptight dad of my first girlfriend Stephanie shows up. Oh, I haven't seen in 25 years. Mike. Yes. Why are you here to buy to steal more man? Yeah, I'm actually dropping off his left of the beer we didn't sell last night. Okay, true or false, you gave two horrified 30-year-old women a chance at a hit off of your man, Gria, where there was a quarter inch left at the bottom of your filthy glass. Yes, I did. And they passed on it last night. It did. And you're confused. Grude. And whose cocktail whose bitter man was that backstage? I don't you know, and I think there

39:07was you know, a lot of Prager's like family or extended families kept drifting back and forth from the front in the back. So probably somebody grabbed one and just they didn't have it. It hadn't had the man Gria put on it yet. So it just got left. And you have you like me and you you and I are the only two people on the planet have no problem picking up a half spent cocktail and making it our own almost immediately. Who else would us get a bit done to it? Come on, it was three seconds old. Well, that's the whole thing. How the hell would kill anything? I think it's like you think someone shot a snot rocket or stirred it with their cock. It's their fucking cocktail. Exactly. You just get over your own shit. Oh, probably took a drink of it. They didn't like it. So they left it. Yeah. So you dumped the little man, Grion and hit the road. It's a long way to the bar from the back of the way. I was going to say so my my greatest point of pride is like when people say, look, I liked your fill in the blank and I'm not a sports fan or I'm not a whatever fan. But I really enjoyed that whatever. Mike August does not drink and my wife does not drink

40:10and they've both become alcoholics. I like the last three weeks. I caught you. I came up with that past week. Delicious. We poured 38 bottles of man, Grio. Last night. Jesus Christ. Sold another seven. I mean, we moved almost four cases at one show and you only consume nine bottles of only nine. Unfucking believable. All right. Well, the nice, when the Corolla dynasty empire story is told, I feel like a pivotal moment will be when all the employees got strung out on man, Grion. But they were so it's really just those, it's just it's Lynette and Mike. So for my, I've been on the road with Mike for three years. I've not seen him with more than a light beer backstage over the court. And by the way, there's nothing for him to do but drink at these places that have nothing but booze casinos and whatnot. Doesn't maybe a corona in an airport rare occasion now cannot be found without his boat of bag filled with man, Grio. Broken seal. All right. A better human being. All right. Well, all of me and you and Lynette will take a nice drive down

41:12to Palm Springs in a few months. I'll get this whole thing sorted out. Dr. Drew with his powdery look on his face. All right. Thanks, Mike. Mike, were you there? So were you there when Gordon, the dad of my first girlfriend showed up. This is the sort of. Yeah. From USC. Graham Wellington showed up. It was weird. Like the world's whitest guy showed up. Yeah, I was there. I was working the book table and he came up and he gave me kind of a cryptic. Oh, I knew Adam back then and you know, I didn't know who it was until it was it was too late. I you told me afterwards, but it was what I got in the picture. It was scary. It scared me. I was like 22 again. Like I was the loser. Your girl just graduates from USC and she's dating a guy who drives a pickup truck where the cranks are broken off on the windows. So he has to use vice grips to roll up. There's a picture of me and Stephanie that no one can ever see because

42:16of the website and not talk about material. Oh, it's seen in not talk about material. Yeah. So he wanted to get the book and then I started thinking, wait a minute. I think I called him like the whitest, scariest man alive or something in the book, but people are pretty good sense of humor about. Anyway, we're all adults now. And listen, if I brought home a 22 year old me, I would be pissed. You understand? Yeah. I mean, I hope you guys, yeah, I hope you guys understand that part of life where you can understand that a 22 year old version of you dating, I mean, I was fucking digging ditches on a construction site and she graduated USC. He had he wasn't, I think, an attorney seems he has no hard feelings. Are you bringing home a 20 year old version of you to you? Because the world is going to fold in. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's a snake just ate its tail. All right. So you called him the whitest man alive. Okay. Well, you saw him last night. Was I lying? Nope. No, no. Okay. Now picture him with a nugget gold watch and a lot of attitude and some

43:2080s hair and a black check saying how much is he going to take? Oh, that was my whole thing because I had I would have been like $4,529 and 86 sets. That's exactly what it's going to take to get me into a used Ford Ranger. And yet I would say that Gordon is kind of a black man's name, according to Sesame Street, at least. Well, white black names and white names are either the blackest name or the whitest names are those they they always they always will run that like a windstin or something like that will run super white or super black. What men black men. Yeah, I'm doing a game right. Reginald, right? Washington, right? So I went and saw Judd Aptow's movie on Friday. This is 40, which was excellent. And we're going to have Judd Aptow on the show. And so thus I went and saw a early screening of his movie. Couple things to say, which is I was freaking out. No one else gave a shit. But Judd Aptow's latest movies very good and Leslie Mann, who I believe

44:26his wife in real life, I think may get an Oscar nod for her performance in this film. That good. Wow. And it had, I mean, just great comedic role, but with just tons and tons of layers and just so much to it. Paul Rudd was great. Albert Brooks, Melissa McCarthy was in it. Megan Fox was great in it. Yeah. She was. Jason Siegel was in this thing. I mean, everybody was in this thing. And it was really well done. And so now you have to keep in mind that this is Friday afternoon Thursday, night. I have Grand Parker in studio. And I'm a huge fan of Grand Parker. And I had this thing where David Wilde for the last like month and a half is saying something that, Hey, Grand Parkers in this, where in this movie coming up, Judd Aptow, blah, blah, blah. But I'm think Judd, Judd, is this Judd Aptow produced some documentary on has been 80's rockers and you do a little sit down

45:28or like what's going on? You know, and it's like I've had it happen so many times or so and so in the movie. And it's like the either got cut out in movie. And I said to Grand Parker at a certain point, you saw the movies again. Did you make the cut because I've been cut out of movies? Or if you're not cut out, you're cut down to almost nothing. And like, you know, he was casual. No, I'm still in it. I made it through, you know, and that kind of thing. The movie was about Grand Parker. That definitely did not come through in the interview we had with him. That it's insane. Like I was going insane. It's the movie. So I did get cut out. The movie is first off, it's coming out in December. It's going to be huge. I predict a big Christmas blockbuster comedy. It has everyone in it. There's going to be some Oscar buzz for Leslie Man. I'm sure of it. It was the story of Paul Rudd and Leslie Man's character from

46:30knocked up at five years later, whatever it is. Now he has quit his job as a record rep for Sony went and opened his own independent label and assigned Grand Parker. And he's having these conversations with people where I he's like channeling me where I'm like, enough with the fucking lady Gaga. We have real musicians with real music and soul. What's wrong with you people? Why aren't you listening to this stuff? Grand Parker's in 10 scenes. He's playing the party. There's two Grand Parker concerts. It's all about it's just a crazy thing where the fucking movie is about Grand Parker. And I mean, there's a million other scenes and that there's a B story and a C story and all that kind of stuff. But the thrust of it is this guy goes and starts his own label, signs his idol Grand Parker and can't sell any records and is going broke. And I had no idea that this first I had no idea it was a huge Judd Apetau, you know, 40-year-old virgin knocked up,

47:35super bad. I didn't know was that size movie. And then I didn't know Grand Parker wasn't in that much or was that pivotal. And now I realize Judd Apetau is a nutty Grand Parker fan because there's no possible way you would make this decision. It's way too bizarre a decision. What are you guys going to talk about when you have interview? Well, we'll talk talking to you guys and then it's right on HBO's girls. And by Lena Dunham was in this movie as well. All right, so great movie, great time. And holy shit, I can't believe I was staring at Grand Parker for two hours and 20 minutes when he was just sitting in here. And by the way, could he have been more modest about the whole fucking thing? He planned it. No, he could not have been more modest. He was like, I think that's an English thing. I got the sense to get a cameo in it, not that it was about him. I don't want to overstate it, oversell it. He was in eight to ten scenes. And if he wasn't in a scene, it was Paul Rudd talking about Grand Parker.

48:43I mean, he wasn't the movie, but with a you could. Important part of the plot. You could not cut him out of it because it would he was the plot of the movie. So very interesting story, very well done. And we'll look forward to speaking to Judd very soon. All right, let's see. Shall we take a call? Should we do a little business? I got on my PC. All right, why don't we do a news story and then we'll bring in Ryan Bingham. The news with Allison Rosen. She reads some news from her iPad some times. This goes sometimes it's bad. It's Allison. And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign it off with Zippie Cook. It's Allison. The East Coast is preparing for Hurricane Sandy, which the damage from Hurricane Sandy could be catastrophic. It's only a category with Sandy. What do you prefer? Sandra? Something like

49:44Dutcher Turk. You know, someone's got some some Sandy. I picture John Travolta singing singing it up to the moon. I picture a curious Australian accent and no explanation why. Yeah, Hurricane Hannibal. Yeah, yeah, and all elephants trembling. Well, also when people got to the heart of this, ultimately if somebody loses their life to Hurricane Sandy, it's not that it's like having your ass kicked by a guy named Leonard or something. It just doesn't just feel right. Yeah. Also, that's the cross section, the photo of the impact of Sandy, which will be on our Facebook page. Very similar to the cross section of a woman's private parts that would be in a tampon brochure. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's going to hit the cervix. Seeing the charts on the wall. Yeah. And I was like, oh, that's far down. Green on the outside. That's right. Oh, you've seen one. I was thinking, yeah, I think a Jimmy is Jimmy's in

50:47Brooklyn or in New York all this week. I think I'd get slammed by that. Yes. I wonder how it's going to be affecting him because New York is is going to be fairly fucked up. Even if it's not the damage from the hurricane, just the preparations like over 3000 flights have been canceled. The subways are shutting down at 7 pm on Sunday. It's expected to make landfall Monday night or Tuesday morning. Broadways shut down. Jimmy can be fucked by that. He does love the great white way. Both Obama and Romney have canceled campaign stops or campaign activity because of Hurricane Sandy. People, I mean, if like looking at my Twitter feed of all the people on the East Coast, people are just hunkering down or trying to get out. Although I don't think you can get out at this point. Just figuring out what they're going to do and for how long school has been canceled. Like over a million students are going to be affected. Lucky fucking sons of bitches. But I keep seeing as people tweeting photos of what their kitchen looks like because they're preparing to be stuck. Oh, really? They're hoarding. They're hoarding. Love hoarders.

51:52Might be a run on chips. They're bunker. That's awesome. They're hunkering, bunkering and hoarding. I love that show. Do you have an emergency kit? Yeah, but only because they give me like first day, I mean like, you know, for a earthquake or some shit. What do you mean? Like a first aid kit, first aid kit, got me like water and water and food and shit for Molly. Yeah. We have a discussion about having a discussion about having an emergency plan twice a month. So we're covered. That's what you're asking. You're very thorough. Yeah. Yeah. I have, I'll tell you what I get. I do have water and I do have a food that's just, you know, canned whatever. And then I do have the kits that somebody's figured out. It's actually kind of nice. You know, when you do these shows, they usually give you a bath robe or coffee mug. Some of them, they can't remember if it was Jimmy's show or the tonight show or whatever. It started giving you like little things to keep in the trunk of your car with

52:55jumper cables and flares and stuff you break down. And I have like the back pack with the gauze and the wind up radio and it's in all that kind of thing. I can't see you'll remember Alan DeGeneres. That's right. That's right. That's right. Do you have one Brian? Yeah. Label with the brother P touching everything. Some canned food, like a little pack of dog food. I've like a few cases of water in the garage. Yeah. Just in case your power goes out or gas goes out or you know, I gave a, you know, we had the conversation where I said, not only do we need the earthquake thing, but there's a bunch of plates and vases and things that are like up high that are going to come down on people's heads that we need to get some of that sticky, sticky gum on there and get it down there. And when it gave me a, and so that meant to me it was done. I don't know about that. Crossed that one off the list. Did you guys do stuff in preparation for Y2K? No. No. I'm not in any of that stuff. Here's my whole thing. It's basically the approach I take to

54:01going to the airport, which is this. I cut it within, you know, five, 10 minutes every time I go the airport. I cut it close every single time because as I've said before, you can play it safe and get there an hour before you need to be there. I'm not saying an hour before the flight. I'm saying an hour before you need to be there. You do that six times. That is one flight to New York or flight back five, maybe flight there from. And if you miss your flight, you can catch another flight most of the time. I've found, and I'd like to know what the average is, you miss a flight, the average inconvenience is probably about somewhere between an hour and 45 minutes to three hours. But if you show up early, more than you have to, 10 flights, that's 10 hours. So my whole feeling is, the time you spend in prep and in discussion and whatever usually is bigger than the actual

55:05inconvenience or whatever the event is. Like all the time everyone talked about Y2K, nothing ever happened. There's a lot of earth. I've lived through earthquakes here. The rattles around, a couple of dishes break, power goes out and then it comes back on and you could dig a tunnel, have a bunker, have a 50-biped gallon drum of garbanzo beans in there and a lot of codes and a lot of dry runs work out. I need hummus if there's a disaster. But it never really happens. That's why people don't really take it seriously. Plus I used to do earthquake rehab anyway. I know exactly how buildings are built and I know which ones are going to fall down and which ones aren't going to fall down and it's all masonry, unreinforced masonry. That's it. It's never stucco, it's never plywood, it's never two by fours, it's never anything. And as I was screaming when I was screaming about Joel MacKale and his pool and earthquake country, go to Pasadena, go look at the craftsmen homes

56:05that were built in 1907 and tell me what country they're in. Marborel country, earthquake country, or bullshit politician country. Speaking of Joel MacKale, I went to see Argo last night and guess who was in the theater, it wasn't Joel MacKale. It was Chevy Chase. Really? Chev as his wife refers to him because I heard her call his name. Yeah, I don't want to throw Joel under the bus. Of course not. But, um, Arsiniohal dist me when I was talking to Joel MacKale. No, so what was it? Oh, um, um, Chevy Chase's long header reputation for being difficult. And when I talked to Joel in the early stages of, of community, he just said, I said, how's it going? And he just gave the

57:06great except for, there's one person that's a little bit difficult. And I don't think things have gotten any better. And then he told me about a story that had made the news about Joel. Yes. And that Joel but Chevy with some little racial stuff. Mm-hmm. Apparently he used a word. People are not supposed to use. Mm-hmm. Yes. Oh, by the way, somebody tweeted me and we can find Mike, you can try and see if you can find this. Remember when Gloria Allred was on the, on the radio show? And I had this sort of famous line with her. At least I liked it. No one else seemed to care about it. But we were talking, they were suing Michael Richards for dropping a bunch of N bombs on stage, right? And she was representing those people. And she said, look, who knows? Maybe this is going to

58:07help his career. And I said, uh, I don't think this is going to help his career, Gloria. And she said, you don't know that. I love when people do that. First off, it's fucking insulting to say that to intelligent people. You don't know that. I said, I do know that. She said, you don't know that. I said, I can guarantee you this is not going to push Michael career, Michael, his career along in a positive direction. And finally get his own sitcom, my family time. Oh, yeah. For look out, ABC Friday night, right after step by step. There's a new sheriff in town. There's Michael Richards. I said, uh, no, this is not going. And then she said, that's where the famous line came out. She said, you know, you don't know. I don't know. You don't have a crystal ball. I said, I don't, I have a crystal brain. And I understand this is not going to help Michael Richards career. She's like, well, you don't know that. Well, listen, bitch. As somebody emailed me, it's been what five years.

59:09Who was right? Face. You were. Yeah. I was. And I always fucking knew I was. And she knew I was. I'm guessing she knew I was. Now, now we get to somebody, uh, well, you can read it if you like. Says Adam, are you going to apologize to Gloria Allred now that Michael Richards career is on fire? Thanks to the publicity from the N word. Right. So here's my point. I always want to start a category called stupid or liar. Either Gloria Allred is insane because she thinks this might help his career or as I assume, she's just a liar. It's stupid or liar. It's why it cannot. There's no third box to check. There's no other category. You either think this is going to help a guy's career, which means you're fucking insane or you're lying your ass off. It's stupid or liar. So which is it Gloria, stupid or liar? Anyway, I will take my apology in the form of an edible

1:00:14arrangement. All right. Oh, we have the clip. Okay. Well done. What year is this is this from? I think it's been oh six. No, really? Geez. Had to be the end of oh six if it was oh six. I think Danny was there. Maybe we'll be oh six. Oh six. 1129 oh six. Here's Gloria Allred explaining what the future. So this is six years ago now. I felt like Danny was already there. The future of Michael Richards career question whether they were through far it happened. The question is will it enhance his career? No, we don't know the answer to that. Yes, we do. The answer is no because you've got a crystal ball, but I don't have no. I have a crystal brain that thinks logically. Well, you don't you really don't know about these things. So the point is really I do know I do know this hasn't helped them just like OJ case wasn't helped by what he did. There's many samples of it. You know, Michael Richards of killing anyone. No, I'm saying look what he did was wrong and he deserves to

1:01:17be punished. He is being punished. He's being humiliated. Well, you think that I think he's been out there looking for sympathy from the public and but we're looking and he looks at for money. He's been concerned rightfully so about the damage to his career. Now we're concerned about the damage to our clients and to the victims. Now you don't think that people who are African American who call the N word over and over and over again are all victims and I understand that's your point of view. No, I didn't I didn't say they weren't victims. No, they are not. I don't I don't know how to decide who's a victim and who isn't by words that are said to them because that's up to them. But see here. No, it's not easy. It's not easy for you because you want money, but here's the deal. If somebody calls me a cracker and I'm very hurt by that, then maybe I'm a victim. If someone calls me a cracker and it doesn't bother me, then I'm not a victim. So I can't tell you who's a victim. I can tell you who's a victim of arson. I can tell you who's had a bone broken. I can't tell you who's been victimized by words. That's up to that. And I would suggest with all due respect. You do,

1:02:22you know, maybe you need to review a little bit about civil rights and how African Americans have been haunted and hurt by the use of the N word, which is why we don't use the full word anymore because we know that it is going to do some history. You know, she did that. I don't know about that. Yeah. We don't know about these things. By the way, is anyone ever upset that a guy was put on academic probation at a fucking junior college can out argue any lawyer content on the planet? And as I say to my wife all the time, when a lawyer comes to wear a brand, she goes, Lynette says me all the time, why do you win every argument? I go, because I'm right. I wouldn't my badding average. I go, way the fuck down if I was wrong. Her, you don't know. You don't, we don't have a crystal ball. You don't know. And by the way, when people are doing whether it's these news shows or political shows, this is what people need to do when they go, you don't know if this is going to help his career. You go, you don't go, well, you're entitled to European. You go, no, I do now.

1:03:22And they go, well, you don't have a, no, you're wrong. You want money. You're wrong. I mean, Jesus fucking Christ. That's, that's where you're the most right. Is that no one, the reason they always seem so smart and the lawyer kind of seemed like they always been every argument, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's absurd. What are you talking about? Yeah, play the beginning, okay. Play the beginning again, because I didn't let, I did not let her go into this premise of nobody knows, you don't know. This could help his career. What was she, what was the argument she was trying to make? He might benefit from this. So there's where there's money. I said, look, here's what I said. I said, Michael Richards will be punished by not making any money for the rest of his career. And he'll be ostracized and he'll be on it. He'll be pardon the pun blacklisted. So, yes. So he will, that's, that will be his punishment. And she said, you don't know, this could help his career.

1:04:23Despite, you're watching some eyes rolling from what appears to be a scandal in situation. I'm sure you would agree with it. Well, yeah, it's, it's possible. But I think if you asked Michael Richards, whether he prefer or Michael Richards representation as publicist or as agents, whether they prefer the sensitive and happen or not, they would of course say no. Well, that's not the question of whether they would prefer it happened. The question is, will it enhance his career? No. We don't know the answer to that. Yes, we do. The answer is no. Because you've got a crystal ball, but I don't have. No, I have a crystal brain that thinks logically. All right. That's good. See, that's all point. That's how all these shows need to go. But instead they just sit back, let nut job number three spout out whatever they do. And then they go, okay, well, no, you're entitled to your opinion. No, they have to just, to say, just to fucking do what normal human beings do and shut the bitches down or douchebags. Either one. Yes. All right. So it's been six years who was right there? The one with the law degree? Tristle out. Has Michael Richards done a thing in six years? No.

1:05:30More of a pariah than he, you know what I mean? Like he's got an extended absence. Yes. You think you're gonna come back at some point. So I'd love to get glory all right on the show and find out stupid or liar. Either way, you should hunt down everyone who was wrong and just make them a liar. Because you have to just admit you're a liar. Otherwise, you're saying, I have no ability to judge human beings. Their interactions are the world we live it. Right? Well, that's the fucking problem with line morons. Excuse me. I don't know what truck I just came off of is that they'll never admit it. Right. But how about when there's only one alternative, which is stupid. Because if you really think this is gonna... But the point is is I did not give her a breath in between saying, you don't know if I said no, it's not. And I stayed with it. And then I gave her the old crystal brain. All right. Let's take ourselves a little break. Ryan Bingham, he won an Oscar and a Golden Globe for writing the theme from Crazy Heart. And we're going to

1:06:39Ah, by the way. All right. We'll take a quick break. We'll begin with Ryan then. I'm laughing. Oh, there we are. Good. Ryan Bingham is here. This is right. I'm laughing because Dawson said we're going to come back with Ryan Bingham's version from Crazy Heart. But it was all just acoustic guitar. So we wouldn't know if it was Jeff Bridges or not. Good see it. Ryan Bingham. You see too. Thanks for bringing your guitar. And so tomorrow I'm name of the new album. I tell you can get it at Amazon. And I'm here to tell you can get it at Amazon. We don't have a website. So don't bother clicking through our fucking piece of shit website. But you can still go to Amazon and

1:07:43get it support Ryan. And you can check out his website Bingham music.com. So I ran into Jeff Bridges at the Playboy Mansion. How about that? How about that? Many years ago. And good 12 years ago. And he was like, yeah, I got some music I'm doing. And I'd love to come on your show and play my music. And I thought you do music. And evidently he does do music. But how did you guys get hooked up? I met him through the director that Scott Cooper that directed the film Crazy Heart. I just entered or met him through him. That's kind of my introduction to the whole things through Scott. And did you guys work together a lot or did you just give him the songs? And I mean how much tutelage went down with you and he if you want to call it that? It was kind of interesting. I met Scott. I guess he had got a hold of a couple of my previous records before. And just called me up one day to go have lunch with him and said he was looking for some music for the film

1:08:47that he was doing. And he gave me a copy of the script. And then I went on the road for about a month and ended up kind of coming up with this song, The Wery Kind. And I was back at home one day and I hadn't heard anything from Scott. So I gave him a call and just told him I had this song. And I was wanting to send it to him in the mail. And he said, we'll just come on over. We're all over here at T-bone's house in Los Angeles right now. And he goes, can you bring it over? And I said, yeah, so I drove over there and just thought I would kind of drop it off and leave and ended up T-bone answered the door. And he said, well, come on in here. Wait, who's T-bone? T-bone Bernette. Oh, T-bone Bernette. That T-bone. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. Not T-bone Silverstein. Well, that was his family name. I thought that's who you're talking about. But then there's, I'm saying it a T-bone pickings. Yeah. Yeah. Another guy. Right. But yeah, T-bone Bernette. Yeah, I'm sure. And he's one of those T-bone Bernette. Like, if you ever get into trouble, like someone's like, who you into? Like, what do you got? What do you listen to? You just go, right, cooter and T-bone Bernette and they go,

1:09:48you know, he'll be a star and they go, oh, I don't know. Yeah. And then they go, I'm into him too. And then you go, yeah, yeah. And then you make that tacit agreement. But don't ask me what song he's done because I can't answer. But I know if I say, right, cooter and T-bone Bernette, everyone else back off and please the music snobs. Yeah. They'll know. And I got some radio head in there too. Yeah. T- radio cooter. Let's see what I'd listen to. Head. Head. Cooter head. I listened to cooter head. So T-bone says, come on, bye. Yeah. And he, you know, he answered the door and he's like seven foot tall and he's kind of a big intimidating guy. He just said, well, come in here and I walked inside and he saw that I had a CD in my hand and he said, well, let's play it right now. And Jeff Bridges was there and Stephen Bruton and all the music supervisors. Just a whole room for the people that were working on music for the film. And he played it in front of all the people sitting there and he said, well, I think that might work. He goes, can you play it for us with a guitar on the couch? And I said, yeah, I played it for him again. And then he's like, I think that'll work. And he sat down and kind of worked on the song that

1:10:52afternoon. And then I met Jeff there and we just kind of started hanging out from then on. And originally I was just, you know, just had the song and that was it. And later on they asked me if I play a part in the film as well. And when they did that and Jeff was pretty cool about, you know, hey, you know, I help you out with lines and things like that and would practice with me because I'd never done anything like that. Well, most people think of Jeff Bridges as, you know, gay, pre-Madonna, but you probably know a different side to him. Is he just a laid-back guy? Yeah, he's very laid-back. I mean, no, you know, nothing pretentious, no bullshit. He's just very straight up, very cool. A lot of fun to hang out with. And that was the first time I'd ever really experienced anything with a film or in kind of the Hollywood world, you know, in that business. So it was, it's pretty cool. He was pretty laid-back and just very easy going. So leading in next, you know, you get a golden globe and an Oscar, which I'm sure handful of family members have immediate family, but you certainly didn't have one. What was that like? And where were you

1:11:56a year before that or two years before that? I was living out of my suburban before then, you know, pretty much. You know, it was very, very surreal, very, you know, I was coming some other day whenever I found out me and my wife just kind of laughed hysterically for hours just because we couldn't really believe that it would happen to somebody like me, you know, so it was very, I don't, you know, I don't know. It was kind of strange and weird and, you know, I mean, it was obviously cool and a lot of fun to meet all those folks and be a part of that, but it was definitely something that I wasn't used to. Where did you grow up? Kind of all over the place. I was born in New Mexico and a little town called Hobbes and then my family moved around a lot growing up. I don't think I lived in the same town for more than a couple of years ever growing up. We moved to Bakersfield, California when I was young. My family was in the working in the oil fields and we moved back to Texas and all around kind of Texas in New Mexico. Don't get Dwight Yoke him going on Bakersfield. I don't remember much about that. I was really young when I lived there. And then at

1:12:56a certain point, it's time to finish high school and hit the road. Well, I've been called a doctor. I dropped out when I was a freshman and then kind of bounced around. My family split up. My kind of went out on my own and kind of just rambled around for a little ways and got into music and playing and somehow kind of taught myself into going back to school and finishing and high school anyways. And then from then on, I was just like, fuck it. I'm going to play the guitar and get the hell out of town and just kind of took off on my own. Where do you live now? I live here in Los Angeles. And you go out, you tour, you make records or I should say CDs or whatever we're calling them downloads. Tracks. Tracks. Tomorrowland. Hot Tracks. Name of the new CD track, Al Mthingy that has the music stuff on it. You want to play song for us? Yeah, I'll play one for you. What do you got? It's called Too Deep to Fill and it's something kind of what do you get to be inspired in?

1:14:01Yeah. Low babe, oh sweet baby, you kiss these poor lips of mine. Please tell me there you love me. And your heart is forever mine. I got a whole deep down inside me and I fear that it's too deep to fill. I've grown this poor heart in misery for so long that it's too far gone to you. Well I'm going now to the country and I'm going to see if I can find that long someplace

1:15:08where I once was lost but I hope to be on home for so long. And I'm going up on a mountain and I'm going to see if I can find that well. That cold mountain river no longer makes me shiver and I hope to be on home for so long. And I'm going now to the desert. I'm going to see if I can find that well. People on the land are still posing in the sand. I hope to be on home for so long. I'm going now to the forest. I'm going to see if I can find that well. People all around are still cutting it all down. I hope to be on home for so long.

1:16:18And I'm going now to the ocean. I'm going to see if I can find that well. No one wants to bother with cleaning up the water but I hope to be on home for so long. And I'm going up to New York City. I'm going to see if I can find that well. Then boys on Wall Street stole their shoes out of our feet and left us without food for sub-a-time. And I'm going now to join the protest. I'm going to stand up and sing. But it's a time once again to stand up in the land that this land was made for you and me. Oh baby, oh sweet baby, you kiss these poor lips of mine.

1:17:19Please tell me that you love me and your heart is forever mine. I got a whole deep down inside me and I fear that it's too deep to feel. I've grown my poor heart in misery for so long that it's too far gone to hear. Wow, that sounded great. I closed my eyes for the last half of it and just started. I was in a movie. I felt like I was, I felt like I got your pippy long stocking. You got to get your cans right and worked out there. It's got, it's popped up on your right side there. Well, that sounded great. And yeah, just I don't know when you hear music and you go, I could see that in a really good movie. Yeah, it's too cinematic. Too deep to feel the name of the song tomorrow, land, name of the album.

1:18:20And so touring Alms and I'm guessing movie scoring as well or movie making music for movies. I don't know if they call it scoring. Yeah, I just been just been writing songs and touring and traveling on the road. It can kind of just gotten back to doing that right now. I haven't had too much come up with films yet. But I definitely down to. How do you get the rattle in your throat when you sing? Is that something we could do if we messed our voices up or did people form with it? I think it'd be mess your voice a lot of people ask me about. I think it's when I was starting out playing. I played in really shit-holddivy bars, with a lot of smoke and lots of drinking going on and bad sound systems. And just not really knowing how to sing, blowing my voice out every night. Pretty rowdy. The places I played and where people went to go get drunk and fight. They didn't go to listen to music. So the double-duse comes with the tear-dune. I've seen the movie. You don't hurt. Ryan, you want to hang out with us? We'll do a little news and crack-wise if you will.

1:19:21And, you know what? Let me give a little love. Why don't you play some happy finger-pop in music while I talk about Vista Print? You know, something a little upbeat. Something just... I like these guys. These are great sponsors. Vistaprint.com. You can choose from thousands of designs for your business cards. Or you can upload your own artwork. You got to feel good about that. 250 top-quality cards for just $10. Wow. Give a kind of a move. You know, he didn't know that one. Yeah, just $10. Let's try to get $250 top-quality cards for just $10. Yeah, now we're talking. He was just working for the price. His hand just slipped. That's right. Cape Blue right off. By the way, you'd like to get on this. There's a way to do it.

1:20:22You go to vistaprint.com. You type in ACE in the upper right hand corner. And you get $250 premium business card for just $10. And... Preshipping! Vista Print, everybody. All right, thank you, Rhett. Need you for the rest of the week. Go ahead. Let's do some news, man. Now the rest of the news. With Allison Rosas. We were talking about earthquakes earlier. And I was dying because I had more earthquake stories. I had a couple earthquake stories. I'm like, I'm gonna wait till we really do it. Wow. 7.7 quake. Strike, struck off the Canadian coast, the west coast of Canada. And the National Weather Service issued a tsunami warning for the coastal areas of British Columbia, Southern Alaska, and Hawaii. But later canceled it for the first two and damn graded it to an advisory for Hawaii. But if you check Twitter in the middle of the night, this was all happening.

1:21:23We're worried about tsunamis. Yeah. I mean, earthquakes are sort of... Here's how earthquakes work. There's a sort of natural... It's not gonna be short. It's a natural disaster equivalent to a breakup. It's whatever shape you're in when somebody dumps you as how devastated your little town is going to be. George Clooney can get dumped, but he's never devastated. Because he's always in fucking rich and he's good looking and he's off to fuck his next cocktail waitress. But when things are bad and you're dumped, you're devastated. Like you're ruined. Like Rhea Paromen style? Yeah. So when a 7... Exactly. Exactly what I'm saying. When a 7.3 on the Richter scale hits Los Angeles, there's a little damage. But when it hits Mexico, it's fucking leveled. And when it hits Haiti, it's a natural disaster. It's how prepared, how much un... How much un reinforced concrete do you have?

1:22:24How many building inspectors have been bribed or do you have building inspectors at all? So the difference between a 7.2 in Germany and a 7.2 in Haiti is the difference between two old people dead because of heart attacks and a couple of dishes broken and complete an utter disaster. No drinkable water for the next six months and sewage running through the streets in a place on fire. It's not really the earthquake. The earthquake still the 7.2 and the 7.2. It's the exact same with the breakup. What kind of shape you in? Are you Haiti? Are you Germany? We should all ask ourselves that. Important questions. Or are you serious? There was a 3.9 magnitude earthquake in LA that was at 8.24 AM Sunday and people felt it in downtown LA and West Hollywood. I like to follow up when people go, you feel the earthquake last night and you go, now you didn't feel it? Yeah, I'm fucking lying. That's what I do. But you broke me. You water-borted me and I admitted I felt the non-earth quake. I knew I'd find your...

1:23:24Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah. I got a really exciting story about it too. I was sleeping and then I was kind of sleeping not as well and then I was back to a sleep again. It was big. The ones that are under five, you don't really feel anyway. They got to get up past six otherwise. Those are tremors. I grew up with earthquake drills in school. Did you have those? We just had... Did you have those too, Ryan? You didn't? Yeah. All 75 preschools you want to. 128 middle school. A little bit. They all had... We just had one at my kids' school. That's all... It's wildly imaginative and creative. When I count to three, everyone climb under their desk. They're all ready? Good. Finished. There's nothing to do but get under something. You're right, right. And yet in real life, all I ever do is go under a doorway because I don't feel like crouching. Yeah, and by the way, one of the chances you're at a desk and it's in a chair's attach to it.

1:24:26Right. Yeah, you get under a desk or they tell you to get in a doorway. But a doorway in a commercial building doesn't have a header over it. I know because these doors are like, we have work. So it's like doorway in a commercial building really not going to do you any good. What is a header in? What does it have instead of one? Well, a doorway in a residential style building is King stud, King stud, and then trimmer, trimmer, and header over the top, which would be a piece of four-by material, and then little cripple stud up to the double top plate. And theoretically, that doorway would have a nice chunk of four by four or four by six or something above you that actually did something. But it's really like... It's just giving you something to do because if they said just stay where you are, then everyone would freak out. It's sort of like, it's kind of like when I think, I think the hernia checks when the doctor says, turn your head and cough. I don't think you need to turn your head. I just don't think he wants his bald head coughed on.

1:25:26I figure that out eventually. I thought turning your head meant something, but I know he's realized, turning your head and cough just means, otherwise you'd just be looking down and coughing on his head. He doesn't want flim head. So... What who does? But I do think kind of giving you something to do in an earthquake comes people down versus sit here and just fucking kiss your ass goodbye. Hope a plane doesn't land on you. Right. Yeah, so there's really nothing to do. And there's nothing that's ever going to happen to anybody that's not in a masonry. It's all masonry related. Everything is masonry related. It's all chimneys falling down. Once in a while, you see the apartment building collapse, but that's because the concrete parking structure and the concrete pier that held it up collapsed and then the thing pancaged on top. But it's always masonry and unreinforced. Masonry. That's why Mexico is a disaster. That's why Haiti is a disaster. When you see these places like Mexico,

1:26:27they don't build with a bunch of glue-lamb beams and plywood and two-by-fours. They build with cinder blocks and cinder blocks, not happy in an earthquake. I have a story here and the headline is, pumpkin is the new bacon. And apparently the pumpkin flavor is all over the place. What's going on, Brian? He just had a pumpkin dinner or some friends on Friday. Really? A pumpkin themed. Really? Yeah, that's right. I can dig. I figured you wouldn't like this. I dig. I don't like it. I like it. It's delicious. I dig the pumpkin dessert. I'm down with that. I'm muffins and pies. Bread, things like that. There's pumpkin flavored Hershey kisses. I'll go with the pumpkin. Anything in the dessert department, I can sign off on. And I can even get high and go with the pumpkin ravioli. We have pumpkin sausage pasta with goddamn delicious. Well, it had sausage, yeah. Yeah, the sausage is a little bit of pumpkin seasoning or something. Yeah, it's like, if it's as long as that sausage and pies.

1:27:28But yeah, I'm going nuts. I'm going nuts run with all the fucking flavors, like with all the passion fruit and all the cranberries popping up everywhere. And especially the lemonade. It started with the pink lemonade, which is really just a lemonade that's a different color. Was anyone upset with the yellow lemonade? This is to yellow life's point, which is, did anybody ever order lemonade and go, huh? This is just tastes like lemonade. Yeah, you ordered lemonade. Yeah, it's yellow like lemonade and it tastes like lemonade. Right, that's what you ordered. Nobody ever said why isn't this some weird a feminine hue? They just want, I ordered lemonade. I got lemonade and someone came out with pink lemonade and we all kind of went, all right. And next thing you know, it's raspberry and it's yes. Yes, all right. But I actually think that if pumpkin is everywhere, I can tolerate that more than bacon being everywhere. I wanted to sign off on the bacon thing,

1:28:28but then I had a bite of a cupcake that had bacon on it. And I thought this tastes like a cupcake with bacon on it. There's no magic, anything happening here. I, it's a mini cupcake. Here's the, here's the thing. There is, there's, there's, it sounds wrong. There's, it was. It was. It was wrong. There's dessert and there's dinner. And taking dinner and bleeding it into dessert and taking dessert and bleeding it into dinner defeats the purpose of dessert and dinner. There's dinner. That's where you have the salty, protein-y, smoky, you know, your meats and savory stuff. And then when you're done with that, you're done eating all your brisket and your potatoes and all that. Then you have a hankering for some apple pie, all a mode. But if they have apple pie, all a mode, the taste like cow lung. Now you're fucking taking the protein and the, now you're throwing everything into one big fucking cuisine art. I like the difference. I like the, let's do this. Oh yeah, I gotta have my cow lung pure.

1:29:30Yeah. Well, let's do this, which is dinner, salty and savory. And then let's do the sweetened, delectable dessert. But then everyone's trying to get the, oh, this fucking jerky pudding is awesome, man. And it's like, no, we had that. And here's, can I say this? Are we out of dessert options? Like, has there ever been a situation where someone went, we want some pie? Uh, no. Not even apple pie with ice cream? No. How about the 300 variety of ice cream, sherbert and sorbet? No, how about the 10,000 pudding flavors? How about all the, how about all the fucking rolls and all the pastries and all this? Have there ever been a point where you're out of desserts? We're like, there are no more desserts for me. Someone must invent a new dessert that involves bacon bits in order for me to be satisfied. Stop jacking off in the kitchen. What'd you have at your pumpkin party for dessert? Pumpkin bread, pudding with crema anglaise.

1:30:30Did you consider pumpkin pie and decide it was just two-pidets of course? Right. Okay. The point is, pumpkin bread pudding. We are not out of dessert. I don't even, how many, how many different types of donuts are there? There's a hundred different donuts. There's a hundred different pies. There's a hundred different ponies. Just fucking enjoy one of them. What do you, uh? Did you send out invites on pumpkin shaped paper? Come on, Allison. No, but ridiculous. Pumpkin e-vite. There are pumpkin post-its. Yes. Ryan, pumpkin dessert or bacon dessert or pumpkin food. Thoughts? No, I'm not into it. Come on down. My point is this. Is anyone ever said, give me a tea bone steak and a potato and a iced tea or a lemonade or a slice apple pine one? So burnt out on this. I need other way less interesting horrific options. Uh, and culture has been in the news because she called Obama a retard.

1:31:31Wow. She tweeted something. Uh, she said that she's a fucking animal that one, man. She's relentless. She's relentless. We have her on Pears Morgan discussing. I swear to God, I think she's two years away from doing two shows simultaneously. Like, I could see her on Pears Morgan and on the O'Reilly factor. Like at the same time, like she's going to split off and create another being. Like turning her head to the camera for one show and the other for the other. Or getting a new face on one side of her head. Completely unexplainable. Point just more free off and starting another human being. She is completely, she's just fucking relentless. She's like, she's like, termites. I bet she doesn't sleep. She's like rust. It never sleeps. That's right. That's right. But I don't even just mean that she gets so much done. I mean, literally like she just stands in a locker at night. Yeah. And things of things to say to piss people off. All right. Let's get to it. Yeah, exactly.

1:32:31That's fine, God. Why? To cover up. But why cool? Because I do not. The president of the United States, a retard. Because it's a synonym for loser. And we were spending 10 seconds on this. Or it's going to be another two years before I come on. Because I agree. At the word police, I need an encyclopedia Britannica to see what ones are. Those are a podigot. And which ones aren't. OK, explain to me why we need to art is inappropriate. Because I heard you this morning say, look, what have I said, in Bacill, idiot, Cretan or moron? That was two nights ago. Right, whatever. Any of those four words, as you know, has not become in the last decade or so a word that is synonymously offensive to people with disability and is used in a offensive way about them by people. That is a difference. Do you call people with mental disabilities retards because I don't? And I think that's a nasty thing to do. A lot of people do. OK, we get to be offensive. Which is good. Now it's the piece. I want to see both of them in their mid 80s. Because I think he's going to be great when he's in his 80s and so she.

1:33:32Like, I don't know why. I just said that glimpse of him. Do you think that's going to be more like they are now? Yeah, but he's going to say like sensual and things like that. You know, like, he's like, oh, the whole Cretan Cretan Cretan. Oh, I even know what that was. He was saying Cretan. Yeah, I had an English girlfriend that said Cretan. Cretan. So then when she would give the whole list, she kept accidentally saying like Cretan or Cretan or Cretan or and then she correct herself. That word got the most play in this whole thing. Wow. Very close to Cretan. All right. So then at a certain point, he said, you know, would you use the N word? And she said, no, that's crazy. That's a curse word. She wouldn't use that. I don't know. Yeah. What do you think of this whole thing? See, I personally have, I feel like I'm laughing. I'm laughing. All right. You got to find stupa faction by Grand Parker because I was, my kids, when I sit in my den and I fucking, this guys are so stupid.

1:34:33What are they so stupid? And my kids are like, ooh, you said the S word. You said the S word. I didn't say the S word. Yes, you did. I said, I know. I didn't say shit. No, no, you said the S word. Like there's another S word. Yeah, it's stupid. So I've gotten into this with my kids where I'm like, oh, you're saying stupid is on a no fly zone list for daddy? Kids are going to be sorely disappointed. I said, first off, daddy uses stupid a lot. And that's when he's in a good mood. That's when he's in front of you. And secondly, they're plenty of stupid people. We're surrounded by stupid people. You need to know, don't block it out and go nobody's stupid. Understand almost everyone's stupid. Otherwise, you're going to be wildly. You'll be devastated as an adult by just how stupid other adults are. And they're like, did, did, did, did, but. And so I've been getting in and do it with them about being stupid. As I said the other day, my son said he was bullied because he was talking to a guy and the kid plugged his ears. Not my son's ears, his own ears. My son, label that as bullying.

1:35:35So we've gone to a point where everything is crossing the line or off limits. I don't like look. Retard is like, it's got a good sound. It's got teeth and pop to it. And if you called anybody with a disability a retard, then you have a serious issue. If you're calling one of your stupid buddies a retard, you're calling one of your stupid buddies a retard. Like I'm all right with that. I'm not, look, it's like, it's, I don't think you should call anyone who's fat, fat. That's what I'm saying. But we shouldn't outlaw the word fat. It's not a friendly word to a fat person, but it's not a bad word in and of itself. And I just, I think it's a little bit of a slippery slope because everything is sort of getting on that list. But I think for a lot of people, the word retard has been on the list for a while and they just accept that it's not a used word anymore.

1:36:36And then I feel like a Cretan when I use it. I like it. I would like to continue calling my retarded friends or the ones who act retarded. Yeah, it's always funny though when people have to explain it. You have, you got some stupid, oh, you play. Yeah, we'll get to the end part. So... That's not the end? You can go the halfway point. So I'm, I'm on my Grand Parker kick because I just saw this Judd Apatow movie with him in it. He was just in the studio and stuff. So I'm driving over to Kevin Hensh's house with the kids in the back. And I'm playing me some Grand Parker and the song, Stupid Faction comes on. And now my kids are in the back seat and they're plugging, they're plugging their ears. You know, and I'm going, hey, plug in your ears. I crank the fuck, 18. I ate 10 speakers. They're going to be playing Grand Parker. Yeah, I crank the shit up. And then my wife's like yelling at him.

1:37:37He's saying stupid faction, that's saying stupid. He's saying stupid faction. And I said, all right, we'll give it a minute. Give it a minute. So now we're driving and they're in the back seat and I'm convincing them they can take their fingers out of their ears because he's not saying stupid. Saying stupid faction. And then I reach to the volume and I crank it up. And I'm singing. And the kids got their fingers stuffed in their ears and I'm going, drink it up, baby. That's okay. And we're going for round two. So that's what I'm doing to my kids and they're, and they're like their hands and then when it's over, they're like, is it over? Can we take our fingers out of our ears? Stupid is next. My grandparents had a rule that you couldn't say yucky.

1:38:40Really? So that was my parents. We were allowed to say everything, like even bad words, but we were taught that best not to say those in public. But the yucky thing, I remember I had a cousin who evidently said yucky too many times or something. I don't understand that. Once in a while, you run into a weirdo adult when you're a kid. I'd like to find all of them and kick them in the nuts right now. They're still alive. That weirdo adult that goes all fucking apes shit on one thing for no reason. But then it's enough to fuck you up. Yeah. I call the kid when I was like, 10, I called another kid, hey, don't be a schmuck and I got the super serious, hey, hey, you do not use schmuck is a very powerful word. And I remember being 10 being like, no, it's not a schmuck. Like it's not a big deal. To this one guy, it was like a major fucking faux pas. And then I got all freaked out by like why is he freaked out? And then maybe I shouldn't be using this and then what? No, it turns out he's just a fucking nutty adult. I'd like to round them all up,

1:39:40throw them in the fucking schmuck ocean. I'm just saying guys sort of insist that everyone knows that everything means like, oh, I totally got a chip back there. Like do you know what chip? That is the gypsies. We got rounds it up and Holocaust like, what does? I thought it was just means he got ripped off. Right. But like the guy assumes that you know where everything came from and the road is ostensibly insulting. Yeah, right. I do that with scumbag though. You know what a scumbag is that right? I'm not free to do that. I'm talking hate it would people do that because you're not using it that way. And neither in the nine year old doesn't know the root of the fucking word that you're yelling chip or scumbag or schmuck or whatever it is. But they have to fucking enlighten you. Who are those fucking parents? By the way, I mean, I gotta say, you know, I get the thing where I did the pumpkin carving with my son. What's his nose? Sonny. Sonny, because it really screwed me up with my son and then I have to come up with Sonny like almost immediately after.

1:40:41And we went down and did the pumpkin carving and that was Thursday night, you know. So I, all I do, you know what I do with all those things is me and another group of dads break off and have a discussion. And here's how the discussion goes. The kids are like working on their pumpkins and we do the it's no fucking way my dad would have done this about you. No fucking way. No way. No, what you're dead now. Are you kidding? He was fucking drunk and fucking a secretary. There's no way would have pulled out of a secretary to come carve a pumpkin with me at a church on a Thursday night. There's no fucking way. And then, so that's, and then I get home and then I always get the, was daddy tuned out and then my son always, oh, he drops the dime. Yes, daddy was tuned out. I don't even know what that means. I mean, he knows it means from watching. My kids have been poisoned into knowing what daddy being tuned out means. And again, do you want me completely emotionally invested in this gourd because I'm gonna have difficulty making money doing other things. Yeah, that's how I tied up.

1:41:42All right. I had this, I had the weird, I had this weird moment where they took all the pumpkins, 29. And they put them on the stage. We're in a gymnasium at a church. And the stage is up, you know, four feet off the ground and we're all down on the gym floor. It's like the church gymnasium, you know, wreck thing at the church. And the dads, I don't think, thought this one out. And it was like the cubs got thing. And they put all the pump, they put 29 pumpkins right up again. And they covered, they took the whole stage up from left to right, like 40 feet of pumpkins. And at a certain point, one of the guys there, named Mike, small business owner, Republican guy, comes up to me and we're just standing alone complaining about there's no way our dads would have done this. And he just leans over to me and he goes, you think we can win this one? And I said, I wouldn't get my hopes up, Mike. Just 29 other pumpkins. You're kids, I mean, you know, no offense,

1:42:46but I've seen better pump. And he's like, I'm talking about the presidential race. And I'm like, oh, I was in pumpkin mode. Are you your very present? Oh, I would argue that I'm fucking present. I was in fucking full with this pumpkin competition mode. I felt like an asshole because I was like, I know why should he give a shit about these fucking pumpkins? So the dad, the dad, I realized I'm very concrete by thinking that way. I was in pumpkin mode and that's what I was talking about. I like, he was very discreet of I think we're going to win this one or you think we got a chance? And it's very serious. Do not get your hopes up. There's a lot of pumpkin competition. Then you want to talk about the worst plan in the world. One of the Cubscaught leader guys, unfortunately, I said dress like a giant Cubscaught, you know, it's sort of like what a manager is to baseball, but at least he's dealing with adults, you know, he's got to wear the Cubscaught uniform to it. Yeah, that's exactly or the cover of the Oingo Boeing

1:43:47go out. He has to do this thing that you know these things that you realize, oh, this is ill-fated from the second pumpkin and he's like, all right, all right, everybody settle. They do the two finger cup thing, raise everyone settle, settle, silence on, we're going to do this by applause. He went and put his hand over every pumpkin, like it was a talent competition, but there was 29 pumpkins and he threw his back out by the fourth pumpkin, like it was leaning over and it was the same eight people, like who just thought they're supposed to clap it every pumpkin, you know, it was like, 45 minutes later, he gets to the end. It's clear that nothing has figured out now. Yeah, you can't measure claps 29 times. Right, so now he's like, oh, I think we have a winner and everyone's like, we do. It's being a ghost that asks, nobody knows, yeah, nobody knows, everyone is completely out of it. He picked three pumpkin winners. I brought mine home, you know, more just approved to my wife, I was present.

1:44:48What kind of pumpkin expression did they carve? Did they go out of the pumpkin? I did round. Oh, yeah. What kind of you carve? I got the sharpie. I went with the old school patch of pew buys from 70s porn. Some people call it triangle. Yeah. Maybe I should just start calling it that. Yeah, because some of the other dads, you're right, you know what, I'll just call it the triangle. It'd be easier. Yeah. Sunny gets the geometry class. Yeah. Hey, what's the Soss at least what? What's a fucking past of 70s patch of pubes? Come on. Everyone knows that. So I did the triangle eyes and then I did just the horrible orthodontious thing and the big smile. They give you the little thing and the little knife. I bet you 100 people are fucking stabbed trying to do that insane thing. And it's nice like dull and you saw with it. You can't cut. You've got to write many tiny things. And then they do all this shit where all this stuff comes from

1:45:48China now and it's like you cut out a hole and you put in the flashing eyes and then you stick them out though. But eventually like, once you just get one of the guys to come over from China to do your pumpkin up. Like at a certain point, what a pumpkin carver? Yeah, a professional pumpkin car. I mean, like there's no candles. They have little strobe lights and there's no eye holes. You just put a fake pumpkin from Costco and I just bring that out every year. Yeah, yeah, not really bad. No, I know. All right, where were we? Let's bring it home. That's the news I'm Allison Rosen, zip it pumpkins. That was the news with Allison Rosen. And you know, anytime the was daddy tuned out, anytime that question is asked, it's always, oh yeah. Oh yeah. It's like, I mean, how are you supposed to prove you're not tuned out? I don't know. What'd you say? I mean, the name of the album, it's just like, okay. Yeah. Ryan Bingham everybody, the name of the album, it's such a bullshit. And like, listen, I wish my dad went to a handful of things

1:46:49and just sat there and was tuned out. The fuck. It's like, it's really, it's like running a marathon and not burning any calories. Are you getting no credit for it? I wasted a Thursday night, we did a podcast early, a hustled over the other end of the valley, I get no credit because I was tuned out. It's bullshit. Yeah. time. My tuned out is everyone else is 110% of tuned in. That's a really tuned in I am. Yeah. I'm a claim. Yeah. That's what I want to say. Okay. At least at least some of the dumber dads. I can do I can multitask. Thank you. Tomorrow land the name of the album. Ryan bring him is his name. You can tweet him at Ryan Bingham. You can check out his website at Bingham music.com. Mangria go to buy man. Grea.com and let's keep this party going everybody and Allison Rosen. Allison Rosen. She's a new best friend everybody on iTunes and

1:47:49you can try our app as well this week's guest Jesse Thorn and for more information you can go to Allison Rosen.com. So until next time. Santa Coral for Ryan Bingham. Allison Rosen. And Paul Brian. Say it. Mahalo. My underwear right now is sopping wet and I'm super fucking uncomfortable but hi. All right. This Adam Kroishov 944. Can it next be of Adam Kroishov 736 with a great Michael Nair in studio along with Larry Miller and Pete Holmes. This

1:48:53is a great album. Yeah get it on. Got to get it on no choice but to get it on man day. Get hit on. You can see me in Durham North Carolina coming up this Thursday January 19th. Coming up soon. Good day, ball. Brian. Take a little time to be quiet. And Michael Nair and good to see you buddy. Very necessary. And your older brother Larry Miller in studio. All I can say is watch the bald stuff tonight. Oh yeah. Oh, outnumbered for change. It's all versus jufrers. That's right. Because Allison is going to stay on the side on this. But you might wind up in the galley rowing tonight. Well, she she can fend you off with a hot comb. I got nothing. I'm natural baby. Just just a little moose in your eye and then I make my escape. I think I speak for them all and I say what's moose? Yeah. All right. One of your fraternity brothers. Oh, moose. Oh, let's see. Michael Nair and his here. Michael's in American success story. And the reason Michael's successful. Well, what are you doing

1:49:55now, Michael? What did you do? Well, maybe didn't work today. Oh no, it was yeah, we had we worked today. And parking was even at the cleaner. Even at the Cleveland show. I'm not sure. I didn't. Interesting. It's a different section of the floor. Let's check that. Who you're working for, Michael Nair? The family guy. The family guy. What's that like over there? It's a kitchen full of yummy shit and a ping pong table. Seven kitchens. Seven kitchens. There's not a lot of honkies in here. And not only that, there's the great thing about the creative process is you can say, uh, what are you doing stabbing that hooker? Hey, that's my process and your boss will just walk past you. You can play ping pong. All you want out there in front of everybody. And it's just part of your process, man. You know what I mean? Like, hey, this is how I think I can't do it. I'll locked up in my in my cubicle man. And all fairness, that's the writers. That is the right. We're strapped to a thing called a centi, which is a big virtual drawing tablet. The two thousand. It knows every time you move. You called in the office. You used the bathroom four times last week, Michael. What was that about?

1:50:58Did you have a note from your doctor? Holy back, we're waiting a minute. So he, this is a great story. Yes. So he, so I know, I know now. I remember now. Nair and Nairan starts off writing doing bits for love line and sending us in just pro bono, right? It was never, and there's hundreds, hundreds of hours involved with one of these four or five minute cartoons you would send along to us over love line. Yes. Probably. If that means weeks and weeks, yes. Weeks and weeks. Weeks and weeks of you working for free. Yeah. See, this is the message I'm trying to push across to everyone. Every guy I want to high school with is a fucking loser. I mean, every guy I want to every, every one of my friends. There were a couple of friends that I didn't know that well that lived up in the hills. He grew nice. Who we don't, we're not as tight anymore, but my friends, my friends, one of them is over here, you know, helping me put my roof on. And the other, I'm paying for his rehab as we, as we speak, because his insurance won't. He doesn't have the

1:51:59blah, blah. Why? Because no one would ever do a fucking thing for free for five minutes. They just wouldn't. It was, that was, that was for suckers. And what is college? College is not only for free. You pay with a payday down the road, but you can't explain that to these guys. There's no such thing as, you know, the whole time I was, you know, taking groundling classes, they were like, what? How much do they pay you to do that? Like, they don't pay me. I pay them. And they're like, they pay you, you pay them to make shit up. Are you nuts? That's nuts. And they'd all laugh and walk away. And now they're all, every guy I know who would not do one second, what? It didn't have to be an internship. Just the notion of showing up somewhere and going, let me prove to you why I should get paid down the road. Let me work for free. Naren had a good 10 years of this with me. And how long until Naren got a response is what I'm wondering. Like, we're just sending stuff in. It was immediate. Like, I actually, the stuff was so good. I was trying because you were writing

1:53:02for the Kimmel show at the same time. Right. And my first two bits were one and a prototype animation tried to go on Kimmel live. And then she thunderbearers sort of love letter to you to try to get you to show Jimmy the stuff because I was a huge fan of you. But Jimmy had a gram well. Yes. So Jimmy had a show. So yeah, you want to get to hand. Right. So yeah, at that point, he's been well. So you do all this work for free. Start showing it to me. Me and Drew start showing it, playing it on there. The David Allen Greer one is just it's so good. I mean, you take you take the audio. We would never plan it out in advance. He just take bits and pieces from the show and he put it together. He'd edit it together. I don't know how much editing that David Allen Greer audio version has. I can't remember what the actual conversations were. So I can't remember how much of that is put together. I don't know. I want to see the David Allen Greer one because this is and by the way, this is why David Allen Greer is one of the best improvisational comedians. And this

1:54:07is completely spontaneous and this is him rolling. And this is what happens when you do yes and and not only that but and you'll see DAG rolling along on this one. But Michael Naren got hold of it. Found it. You know, it's funny because my wife was showing my kids this filthy thing the other day and they were laughing just like because they're five five and they can't understand it yet. Mommy, what's a prolapse? Right. Prolapse, ain't this. But I said, I said, you know, if Michael Naren never drew this up, I would have no recollection of it. I would never there's never like, you know, I mean, you were at Love Line. It's not like producer Ann was like, hey, that's gold. Let's get that on a desk. It was it was nothing like that. We just we're not have been there. We just to be fair to hers. You may not have been. We just sort of moved on. I mean, when this thing showed up, you know, nine months later, it was like, when was that? I don't remember that conversation. Then I started laughing at it because to me it was all new because we just steamrolled forward. We never really stopped, went back and sort of collected our dead. If we have it, you can you can show it to us anyway. One of my

1:55:11ulterior motives for doing the chief thunderbear piece in the very beginning apart from all the stuff was to get you to lock on to thunder bear because it started becoming running bear and thunder cloud and just being in you thought of because thunder didn't stick and I was like, if I animated, it has to call it thunder. I would always forget, forget about the bits. So Naren, then at a certain point came out here for a few days. And as I spoke about on the air and had been doing this pro bono stuff for all this time, and he came out and he was doing good work. And soon as I showed the stuff to Seth McFarland, which is, you deserve, you know, I'm not doing you a favor. It says all this like, thank you, thank you, thank you. You drew all night in between you know, violent masturbation sessions. All I did was make a couple of phone calls. Two hands. All I did was make a couple of phone calls. What are you rubbing against them? And I, I'm a certain and I and I said, I just called them up and I said, I don't want to talk to Seth, give me the animation department. And then I got, now who's your boss over there?

1:56:15Well, there's a whole hierarchy. Right now I'm working for a drunken name to Pete Michaels. Who's the chick I spoke to over there? Shannon Smith. Shannon Smith. And I just said, Shannon, this Adam Corolla, I got a guy, he's a good guy, does good work. Don't take my word for it. Go to MichaelNaren.com and look at the stuff he's done. And let me just send him in there and, you know, it's, it's, I won't pout if you don't hire him. I mean, it just, I think he's better or as good as the people that are currently working for you. Oh, wait a minute. Wasn't this also he was in town for another hour or something? And you just said, when did you go over? rental car was on fire. Yeah. So, we're so incredible. I see more or less just poked it through. Yeah, just he sold his pencils to stay here. The reason it came down to the last second field goal is because I've been playing grab ass for the week he was in town. He called me the day like he was leaving or the day before and said, Hey, remember you said you were going to call family guy and get me in and I went, Oh, yeah, let me do that. Stop buying your way to airport or something and you just kind of shoehorned in. Yes. Absolutely. So how did work you one in there? Yeah, it was,

1:57:17it was a delightful little interview. I just said you called and said wonderful things. I was like, Oh, well, good. And I said that, listen, I made him call. So imagine how much he likes me. And did you show them? Did you bring a portfolio? I brought, um, I only got brought paper. I brought a little tablet. It's an Android tablet. He has all my cartoons on it. We just talked about stuff and they knew a little bit about the New York animation. And I said, they said, well, we're going to give you the store boarding tests to go and take that. And I said, oh, by the way, I have a cartoon that you can't see on my website, which like see I had gay eye with me. Gay eye. And I set that on the desk and we all watched it like Shannon and Brent Crow were sitting there. We both watched gay. That's great. Okay. Nail the test and you know, a lot of creativity there. And now we start working on a project called Rich Man Poor Man out today. That is Tuesday. You can take a look at the one of my favorite Michael Naren shorts with David Allen Greer. And you can go to you can go to mcroll.com and find this. Yeah, let's check it out.

1:58:29Yeah. Wiki old baby. Wow. Drew, when a suitors start coming around wanting to date your daughters, oh, I got some, I got some what a nightmare. You know, you know, you know, it would be really funny is if I got hold of the kid first. I put an IFB in his ear. We just put less speaker thing in his ear. And true, he'd be coming, he'd be, uh, he'd be coming in and he'd be like, I'm Dr. Dre, and he'd be like, what's your GPA? Then you got your business point, Dr. Dre. Are you doing Dr. Drew? Are you doing Mr. Drew? Uh, I would like to pro laps to the end of something you know, go to what you're going, man. What did I say? That drew you ask him and I'll be sitting here. David, David, David, what are you, what are you studying now? What are you

1:59:31going to do? You guys to a college studying how to kick the white man's ass? I'm studying how to kick the white man's ass. Uh, that's very nice. What religious persuasion are you? Oh, watch your quit pushing, honky. Well, quit pushing, honky. I see. Uh, did you finish high school? You're, you're going to give your daughter a new maturity. Want to give me one too? What? Huh? It'll break down on that independent, y'all going to give you the audience something to eat on? Oh, what do you say? Come on, man. Uh, yo. All right. Speak the back of the group. Speak the back. Go down. I know no shit. No, no, no. No, no. Get me out of here. Get me out of here. No, no. Don't take away. Don't leave. No, no, no. Don't repeat what I'm saying. Don't repeat what I'm saying. Don't say it. Put it in. You in it. Yeah, Michael Nair and everybody. Michael Nair and with a nice assist, huh? Who rolls? You see? That's rolling. That is pure fucking improv. Drawing the daughter as Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm is so neat.

2:00:31It's just so right. It's scary because it looks like Dr. Drew's daughter, Paulina. Yeah. I'm going to give you something to eat all. The great David Onger. So, uh, anyway, Michael Nair and in and the reason he's in. So now you moved out to the group. And you go to work at one of the coolest jobs. I mean, for an animator on the planet, right? Because most of the time you have to do this thing where they go. Oh, you're doing animation. What do you work in for it? You know, Jack hole and stinky. And they're like, no. And they're like, it's an animated show. It's meant it's for kids with a learning disorder. It's deep cable. It's it's Nick tunes. It's on it for a. You don't, yeah. You're so cool. You're so cool. You're so cool. You're so cool. You're so cool. You're so cool. You're so cool. I mean, I'm, uh, you don't, yeah. You're single. Yeah. You know, but you go the family guy and they go, oh, well, they're sort of that. I actually watch and like that. Very funny show.

2:01:31So, uh, so there you are. You go to work every day over there off a wheelchair at the family guy. Yeah. Have you met Seth yet? I've, uh, he's he walked past me twice. That's all right. You don't, you know, I'm trying to say, oh my god. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Not gonna lie. I said, I'm Adams guys. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't follow him down like, garage. Yeah, no, no. All right. So it's been, it's been good. Oh, it's magical. Free snacks to pay is good. It's delightful. And the best part is I have access to the server. So I'm watching animatics of episodes only for a year. Yeah. And they change like they go through five different iterations. Like there's a script. Then there's a first animatic. Then there's a second revised animatic. Then there's a color pass. And at any point there, they can start changing jokes. So I was just telling people, it's like, I watched an episode last night or like on Sunday night. And it's different. It's different than I remember watching the animatic. So it's freaky to me. It's like a changed joke. So you're a nerd hog habit. I've said to people, it's like living inside the DVD extras. Wow.

2:02:31That's gonna get you laid for sure. It's really, really good. It's like living inside. Like, well, you know, like, netron. I'm not, the first tron. 1981. But, no, nothing. 79. What are the fuck? Not the crappy rebate. Yeah. The original one. That is a great story, though. It's very cool. And every comic knows that you've done thousands and thousands of free shows. It's just part of the world. But you're right when you say that. So many people just don't know. Do free things. Just keep doing it till you get good. And keep trying to get better at it. And if you love it, that's the only thing that matters. It's just the only thing. You know, everyone is like, hey man, where's the boss? Because I got to convince him so I can start getting rich tomorrow. And it's like, no, no, just show up early and often. Bust your ass. Work for free. And, you know, if there's a rate, if you want to get into radio, go to the radio station. Hang out and do shit for free. And make everyone like you. We don't have enough of that. And every successful, every person who's now doing something that they wanted to do that was a long shot.

2:03:36Whether it be stand up or writer or animation, whatever it is. At some point, you'll get, you'll go all the way back to the point where Jimmy Kimmel tell you the story about him calling into the radio station and then showing up with it. It's all free. And it's not free for six months with a guarantee. It's free for a number of years, oftentimes. I mean, Michael, it a lot, a lot of freebies. So now we're getting paid. Rich man, poor man. It is available today. And it's an ebook. And people ask me how that works. And I go, what the fuck do I know? I'm just a funny guy here. So you can go on your tablet or your iBook and you can get the app and do something. And it's cool. And Michael did all the illustrations for it. And what we did is Michael, and I just sent him the description for everything. And he just drew it all up. And then he'd send it. And we'd send him a couple of notes. And he'd make his tweaks. And we did it all and it came out fantabulous.

2:04:37It's only 5.99. Did you get paid yet? Not yet. Not yet. It's coming. It's coming. Love that crown. They're so awesome. Really haven't paid you yet. There was a snafu somewhere with the contract. All right. But it's coming. It's coming. Yeah. Confident that it was. Yes. I just gave the advance to Michael. I was like, whatever the advance is, give it to Michael. And we'll take care of the mic and I, the other mic, everyone's fucking name Mike around here. Lynch and I will figure out a way to whack up whatever's left. All right. It was Adam Colossho 736 with a great Michael there. That does raise grow a classic smithure tune tomorrow for an old installment. Until then, hello. And give it up. Hello. And welcome to Pluto Fo.

2:05:37If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto TV. We're all your bloodbusters favorites are landing all summer long. Catch anchor man, the legend of Ron Burgundy. Fantastic. The Matrix trilogy. Welcome to the real world. Mean girls. Side bow. Time to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. Side bow. Side tap. I'm the key in the world. And so much more for showtime. Press nothing. They're free 24-7. That is so effective. Pluto TV. Stream now. Pay never. Podcasting isn't just about talking. It's about growing and gauging and monetizing. And that's where Podcast One Pro comes in. Whether you're an independent creator or a major brand, Podcast One Pro gives you the tools you need to take your podcast to the next level. We're talking about premium hosting, advanced analytics, dynamic ad integration, and expert distribution all designed to maximize your reach and revenue.

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