Living With Affluent White Female Liberals

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Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I feel a little less alone right now.

Let's welcome tonight's guest.

He's only here tonight because our first 30 guys named

Todd canceled.

Co-host of Fox and Friends first taught Pyro.

This man needs a spotter to lift his wallet.

Shark Tank, Stark, have it all you're in.

He looks like the team captain of a lesbian

softball team.

Dominion Joe Mackey.

And the last time her husband got a word in was when he said,

I do.

Co-host of our number, Emily Campagno.

All right, before we get to some news stories, let's do this.

I'm gonna break leftovers.

Turn off my moon.

It's leftovers where I read the jokes.

We didn't use this week, and as always,

it's my first time reading them.

So if they suck, we'll send Joe Mackey to spring break

dressed as a slutty fat chick.

Chuck Norris passed away at the age of 86,

meaning somewhere in heaven, Bruce Lee just got kicked in the face.

Kim Jong-un let his 13-year-old daughter drive a tank

in her latest public appearance, striking fear

into military experts who said nothing is more dangerous

than an Asian girl driving.

Iran's new Supreme Leader released a statement saying,

every drop of blood has its price,

which caused one woman to immediately buy stock in blood.

By low, due to their economic and energy crisis,

11 million people in Cuba are experiencing a giant blackout,

or as one woman calls it, happy hour.

Mayor Zoran Mamdami's wife deactivated her old ex-account

after post-resurface of her using the N word.

We pause now so one man can also quickly delete his accounts.

Stop.

Stop.

It's because I'm white.

Really? Really?

Yeah.

The University of Mississippi is hosting a panel

on how the news media can regain trust,

featuring speaker Brian Stelter.

This will be followed by a seminar titled,

How to Make Men Horny by Rosie O'Donnell.

Yesterday during a meeting with the Japanese Prime Minister,

Trump said he was very impressed with how well she understands

English.

After hearing this, one man texted Trump

and asked if she knows the term for happy ending.

Vogue magazine is suing a dog fashion magazine called Doge

for copyright infringement.

What a bunch of stupid bitches.

Today's the first day of spring.

He just saw a squirrel putting sunblock on his nuts.

Glad we blurred that.

Disaster was narrowly averted at Newark Airport

when an Alaska Airlines flight narrowly missed

hitting a FedEx cargo plane.

The crash could have killed hundreds

and delayed this man's shipment of panda steaks.

That's what he eats.

The UFC has officially set a card for its White House lawn fight.

The opening matchup will be between Conor McGregor

and the Bachelorette.

Because she hit somebody.

In a recent interview,

Whoopi Goldberg said her sex life is mostly hit and runs.

Here's how it works.

She hits a man with a car.

And then has sex with them before they can run away.

MSNOW is reducing morning Joe from four hours to three.

Oh.

Which means Mika has an extra hour to fake a headache.

The British House of Lords is set to ban stepmom porn in the UK.

But what about stepdads?

Ask one man.

It's funny.

A poll revealed that when it comes to women picking female friends,

they value our great humor and intelligence.

In other words, they want to be the hot one.

That joke is awesome and I don't care if you don't like it.

A man in Thailand was arrested for trespassing after entering a zoos hippo den

and taking photos.

I believe we actually have a photo.

That was a mistake.

And finally, please say $250,000 worth of handheld,

interactive stroker sex toys were stolen from a freight train.

Police are on the lookout for a single man acting alone.

All right.

We'll be back with more Godfeld.

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So on Bill Martz podcast, the fat kid from Stand By Me

made his startling admission that a comment he made to his wife and kids

about Kamala losing on election night nearly got him killed.

I said something along the lines of like,

there was no planning.

This is what they get.

There should have been a primary.

My wife and daughters,

without saying anything, became physical with me.

They were filled with rage.

Now people think Jerry should have kept that to himself.

But he simply shared a truth that other men know intimately

that in many households, liberal wives,

just assume everyone else agrees with them.

And if you don't play along, they go full, orana-bobbit.

I call them lawfuls, living with awfuls.

Men married to a fluent white female lives.

You know if you live with one because during an election you suffer in silence

and the enraged wife assumes your button-lip means consensus.

But in reality, men choose the hill they want to die on.

And it's not this one.

So Jerry revealed the quiet struggle millions of men endure.

And the reaction he got is why most guys don't talk politics in the first place.

I mean, it's not like we enjoy it anyway.

The last thing you want to do after a long day at work is walk in the door

and debate the misses over Trump.

Trust me, because then they're going to want to talk about the right to vote.

Well, we'd rather pretend we're fixing the lawnmower in the garage.

When the lawnmower is not even broken, his name's Sergio and he's just drunk.

What keeps most men silent is not their beliefs.

It's a desire to keep the peace.

So you zip it knowing their wife's political outrage outweighs your need

to suggest not nominating a chick on a never-ending bender.

But when men die along, they create an illusion that they agree with her.

That Joe Biden is sharpest attack.

That Kamala is a tough prosecutor.

That the WNBA is not supposed to be funny.

Then election night comes.

Dems lose that illusion breaks and millions of angry women are even angrier.

And why?

Because no one wants to disagree with these emotional tornadoes.

And because their stupid ideas aren't engaged, they reside in a comfort bubble.

Until they find out they were living among Trump voters the whole time.

Perhaps even sleeping next to one.

The fact is no one wants to disagree with an angry woman who thinks they're right all the time.

Hell, I bet Barack Obama would have built the wall if he wasn't so afraid of his wife.

And how many celebs, like Jerry, would speak up if they could?

It's why Jimmy Kimmel and Howard Stern went full woke.

It's just easier.

It's self-preservation.

Which is something, Jerry, forgot about.

True, he just made the mistake of being honest.

It's kind of funny.

Jerry did what women have asked men to do for decades.

He shared his feelings.

And from one man to another, don't ever do that again.

Carry it!

Listen Add Free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts.

And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show Add Free on the Amazon Music App.

This is Ainsley Earhart.

Thank you for joining me for the 52 episode podcast series The Life of Jesus.

A listening experience that will provide hope, comfort, and understanding of the greatest story ever told.

Listen and follow now at FoxNewsPodcasts.com or wherever you listen to podcasts.