Maxwell Leadership Podcast - The Leadership Lens: How You View Things is How You Do Things

Hey welcome to the Maxwell Leadership Podcast. Chris Robinson and I are so glad you're

with us today. I'm super excited about this conversation because I think that perspective

matters. And so today, John's going to share with us about the leadership lens. How you

view things is how you do things. Now Chris, we're all about adding value to leaders who

multiply value to others. But there's probably some times in our life we've viewed some things

and did some things incorrectly. So tell me about a time in your life. Yeah. When I

think about, I think about, you know, viewing how self talk, how important that is. Like

I always heard about, you know, you need to talk well to yourself. But of course, you

let things slip. And like, I'm growing up, you know, I would just say things to myself

that weren't helpful. You know, you would say things like, I'm stupid or, oh, I'm dumb.

Or, you know, you would just talk to yourself bad. And I realized that, you know, talking

well to myself is really something that can help me. And it really began to encourage

me. And I've got to be my number one encourager. And as I've grown, I've realized how important

that is. But I've seen it kind of play out just a few days ago. My youngest daughter is

now playing golf. I mean, oh, my goodness, you talk about a dad's dream. His daughter

get did the golf and she's just loving it every day going to the range. But we were

on the driving range. And I hit a bad shot and out loud. I said, oh, that was bad. And

I didn't really think about it. But it came out my mouth. And then the next shot, she

hits a ball and she goes, oh, that was bad. And I said, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. I said,

I'm sorry. I said, I said that out loud. But that was, I didn't mean to say that out loud.

I said, here's, here's what you have to say, Ellie. And I said, look, you can't talk bad

to yourself. You can't call the bad shot. I said, so here's what we're going to do.

Every single shot that you take no matter what happens, say that shot was good. The next

shot is going to be better. And so what how began to happen? She would hit a ball. It

wouldn't go the way that she wanted to. She looked back. She goes, that was good. But

the next one's going to be better. And so my view on how I talked myself and paying attention

to how I modeled that for my kids has, you know, changed extremely over the years.

It's so funny when you were talking about that. I thought about, I don't know if you have

these. I love our podcast listeners. I wish we had a quicker way to get comments back

because did you ever sing a song wrong? Like way back in the day, you thought one song

said this and you would sing it out loud. You'd go, finally, somebody corrected you and

you felt like goofy. But truly how it was said was how it was played in your mind.

You made it make sense, even if it didn't make sense, right? We've all had these experiences.

I wish we, we need to have a podcast conversation about some of my grandson, writer. He would

say, he said for years, I mean, he's 12 now and I can remember saying this four or five

months ago, when he wanted it, when he was trying something and he couldn't get it,

he'd say, I forgive up. And I go, do you, do you mean you give up? He said, no, I forgive

up. And I went, okay, I said, tell me, tell me what you mean there. Because it really

was the appropriate thing to say I give up. I'm not shooting the shot anymore. I'm not

doing this. But he's, I forgive up. And he said, well, I'm just trying to say, I'm sorry,

but I'm not going to do it anymore. And I went, I forgive up. I just forgive up how

we view things is how we do things. And he was, he was asking for forgiveness because he

wasn't going to try it one more time. He was done. And so, hey, what I want us to do today,

kind of, what, where do you do this in leadership? Where are you viewing things in a certain

way that is driving what you do? And there's times that's good. There's other times that's

not so good. What John's going to share with us today is number one, the foundational

principle that our leadership is shaped by our perspective, our view. And then how do we

sometimes change that view? Therefore, change what we expect. So, hey, grab a pen, grab

a piece of paper. In fact, if you're new to the podcast, we have a resource that I want you

to take advantage of. We call it the bonus resource. And you can find it as well as the link to

participate with Chris and I visually today. Their YouTube link is there. And any notes that we have,

any links that we mentioned throughout the show today, you can find all of that at MaxwellPodcast.com

forward slash lens. So, grab that pen, grab some paper. Here is John Maxwell.

How we view things is how we do things. Here's what I know. What we believe about life

determines how we perceive life, which just determines what we receive from life. The old

comedian, you're too young to know about this, but Flip Wilson was a great comedian. And he used to

have this expression he would say all the time, what you see is what you get. What I'm about to share

with you has great life changing potential for you. Trust me. Number one, hold the perspective of

others in a proper perspective. The most important voice that you listen to is your own.

That's why I tell people all the time when they do self-talk. Be careful what you say to yourself.

This is the most important voice that you're going to hear. Let me give you some questions to ask

about people's perspective of you. Questions I ask about people's perspective of me. Here are the

questions. When people have a perspective of me, I ask myself these questions. First, do they

care about me? If they don't care about me to be honest with you, why would their perspective

matter? Number two, do they want the best for me? Number three, do they understand me? A lot of

people, they just don't understand you. They're a misunderstanding leads to a wrong perspective.

Number four, do they want to control me? Number five, will they help me? I mean, are they going

to give me more than perspective? Are they going to give me a hand? Another question I ask myself

are they in mature? In mature people always have a selfish perspective. Keep a realistic perspective

as you become successful. You know, Max Brisa, the first responsibility of a leader is to define

reality and the challenge with success to be honest with you is it's a separator.

And the challenge with separation is when you get separated from people,

you lose the common touch in so much of the time you lose the realistic touch. I can still

remember in my life, when I would speak at conferences, during the breaks, I would just go

down to the front and stand there and people come up and we just talk and they'd ask questions

about what I taught and I just kind of love the camaraderie. And I remember, I remember very

specifically when I stepped down to have that conversation and all of a sudden the people around

me instead of wanting to ask me questions wanted me to sign one of my books. So I started signing

in books and I missed. I really missed the conversation. That was the day I realized that

I had gotten to a level of success that was going to begin to separate me. I was going to be

an author that signed books, not a brand that just kind of had a little conversation with people

that you love. It's okay. It's part of what happens in your life, but the challenge with separation

is if we're not careful, we lose perspective. That's why I share with people all the time. Just

walk slowly through the crowd. Take your time. Listen, listen, learn and then lead.

The fourth thing or the third thing or the fourth focus on the big picture when the small stuff

distracts you. You've heard me talk about what you focus on expands and in our days we have good

days. We have bad days. What am I going to focus on? Well, you're doing something great that's

making a difference in people's lives. Don't let the small petty stuff control your agenda,

control your day. Hey, quit getting off of the wall doing something big and life changing

to try to satisfy just a few people who are never going to take the journey with you and

then usually just want to kind of distract you on taking your own journey.

Number four, live with a values perspective. Don't do what is best. Do what is right. Wow.

What maybe is best for me? Maybe isn't best for you at all. Right aligns with good values. If

you align your behavior with good values, then everybody wins at it. I thought, wow, I love

this distinction. Don't try to do the best. Just try to do what's right. Teddy Roosevelt said

in any decision, the best thing to do is the right thing to do.

In my book, Change Your World, I talk about the value of values and I close with this

that if you live and learn good values, you have an inner change that the law can never reach or

touch. Take these four and chew on them for a couple of days. Live them. Practice them.

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I love Chris as we come out of John teaching. John was mentored by John Wooden and I love this

quote by John Wooden that says in my opinion, being an effective leader requires being an effective

listener. The most productive leaders are usually those who are consistently willing to listen and

learn. If there's any way better than learning if our perspective number one is right,

number two, if it's driving our actions, it's by listening, it's by paying attention to other.

So I love that quote by John Wooden. I love this lesson by John. Yeah, absolutely. I mean,

when we talk about listening, man, I really have seen you do this well. And most recently,

seen you do this with a group of members that you flew all of us in to West Palm Beach, Florida,

and you sat there for a couple days just listening. I've seen you do that before in town hall

meetings with our members. I've seen you do that before with our executive team, where you really,

you know, and sometimes I know it's got to be difficult because I see you sitting in your hands.

But I think you do a great job of modeling that. I think you do a phenomenal job of modeling

that. And even when you bring in new staff to our organization, the first 90 days, they can't do

anything. Right. They've just got to listen. They've got to understand context. They've got to

understand why we do things the way that we do them. And so I appreciate, you know, you modeling that

out for us and just being a good listener in those times. Well, I thank you. Thank you for that. You

know, John really meant he has modeled that form. You know, you and I do. Chris has talked about our

tribe, our community. If you Chris's day job is an ambassador to 61,000 certified coaches,

speakers and trainers. He's a product of the product. He was that before. He's executive vice

president and Maxwell leadership. He'll be traveling internationally. Well, man, you're right. Yeah,

right in the middle, man. So and and going all over and seeing these 61,000 coaches in 169

countries. And really what John has modeled with all that success is really were better leaders

when we're better listeners. And I've watched you do it. That's kind of an expectation. It's a

characteristic leadership is listening for sure. It is. You know, but let's talk about perspective

because he says that how we view things is how we do things. But sometimes we can be technically

right, but practically wrong. Now I see this play out with my 13 year old David here recently. So

David, he has got an entrepreneurial spirit like his daddy, you know, a little bit a little bit.

I was like, where do you get that from? You know, we don't know. And so, you know, this past week,

we got a we my wife's phone was just messages going off and going off and going off and it's Facebook

marketplace. Well, she goes, well, why is Facebook marketplace going off? I said, I don't know.

She says, where's my computer? Well, her computer was missing. And David had the computer. Well,

David is heavy into ebikes right now. And he is he's trading up. He's modifying these bikes.

He's doing everything. He's doing it out. Well, all the Facebook messages were on Facebook

marketplace to adults all over the county, or trying to trade bikes, trade Xbox. How much cash

will you take? I mean, he's working deals. We're seeing these conversations that he's having with

the dolls. And we go and ask him, David, what are you doing? Because he didn't have access to social

media. And she said, he said, well, I'm trying to sell my bike because then I can now buy the next

bike because I've got this much cash. And if I trade my Xbox as well, then I can get this bike

that's triple the price of what I want. And my wife was I rate. Because here he is talking to all

of these strangers all around the county, adults, kids, whoever. And he has no idea the concept of

the other side. Now, me, I'm going, oh my goodness, this is, this is awesome. If I could just get

the adults to reach out like this for business that I, that I helped some of the 61,000,

some of you listening right now. If I could just get you to reach out the way that David did in this

moment, it was great. He was practically correct. He was technically right. But he was practically

wrong. Yeah. Because being 13, he doesn't know the consequences or who he's inviting to our house

to make this trade. Oh, over the case, baby. So I found myself in this conundrum of celebration

characteristic, kind of fraudulent. But we could often be technically right, but practically wrong.

Love that statement. Talk to me about something where you were practically right. It was logical.

It was even defensible. But later you realized it was the wrong thing at the time. Yeah. So, you know,

I can remember John wanting to launch one of the books that he wanted. It was the book intentional

living for those of you that have not read that book. He thinks it's one of his best under, his best

book that was most underappreciated. And we were technically going to release that as kind of

this movement of intentionality, do good works, do good things for people. Pay it forward all that

time. You remember when Starbucks would have these pay it forward moments. And 55, 60 people would

buy the person behind them meal, right? Or drink or whatever. And so we were in the middle of that.

And we felt like that technically intentional living needed to be the right move without

practically. However, we made it a technology launch rather than a book launch. And so while we

really, truly technically got this thing really nailed practically to get the book out there,

people were not going to go do an act to read the book. And so we've sold millions of books,

40, 40 million. Who's counting John? We've sold a lot of books. And that was one that we tried

to make. We tried to sell a movement with the book rather than sell the book and let the book

cause a movement. And so I remember that one partially because we lost about 1.7 million dollars

on that book launch. But I also remember that because John said, Mark, you can never let a process

drive the vision. The vision has to drive the process and Chris, I remind myself that all the time

systems, processes, people don't drive a vision. A vision drives those things. Yeah, I love that.

I love that. You know, he then moves on inside this segment here and he talks about, you know,

the most important voice to listen to is your own. Talk to me about, you know, what's the way

that we make our own voice the most important? Well, so first let me say this, Chris, you started

when I asked you the question right on, you talked about yourself talk, right? And I got to

really be careful because I too don't have great self talk sometimes. You talked about your bad shot,

you talked about that with your daughter. Man, I grew up calling myself names that I would never

call somebody else. Right. I grew as a leader, I have challenged my credibility to lead that I

would never challenge in someone else. So when I, when John says this and I want you and I to

camp out a little bit on this, how to make your voice the most important. First, you got to check

what you're saying. What are you saying to yourself? And if you're saying things more critical to

yourself than others, you need to not change the voice you listen to. You need to change your voice.

Don't get it confused. I do want and believe and underscore what John's saying here, your voice has

got to matter more than all the other people's. But what you're saying is got to matter more than what

your voice you listen to. Right. You've got to be saying the right things. You gave us a great

illustration. It was a great setup to this. Hey, that was a good shot. The next one is going to be

about it, right? That will absolutely hit paydirt for not only your daughter, but for you, if you'll

start thinking like that. So before I underscore and I want to underscore the most important voices

our own, I want to underscore that what we're saying really needs to be looked at, yeah, assessed

and modified if it's not uplifting and it's not encouraging. That's number one. But then I do

want to camp out on this people pleasing tendency that so many of us have. We get so caught up in

popularity contests rather than productive contests. We get so wrapped up in getting everybody to

feel good about us and don't realize it's more important that we feel good about ourselves. And

we allow people and their opinions and their buy-in to modify activity that we already know what

we're supposed to be doing. And I think that's what John's trying to dive right here is often

we allow our view, therefore our do to be shaped by others and it will not last unless it settles

deep within. And I think that's not only why John included that in the lesson. I think that's why

super important in this perspective, in this leadership lens, you've got to get it right at home

with yourself. And then others are confirmation, affirmation, not not insight or are absolute direct.

I feel like that it can't even not I was going to say not even direct instruction. I think other

people has got to only be affirming what you feel inside. And often it is the insight rather than

giving us insight. And I love that. I think you know, on the first part that you talked about,

I'm really checking our words on what we're saying to ourselves. There was a statement that was made

at probably one of my probably first or second speaking events ever and it's always stuck with me.

There's a speaker that said this, they said, hey, when it comes to yourself talk, if I said to you,

what you say about yourself, would we be friends? Wow. And I said, oh my goodness.

Say that again. If I said to you, what you say to yourself, would we be friends?

Wow. Now that I think is the litmus test when people are contemplating, well, do I talk bad

to myself? Do I not talk bad to myself? When you answer that question immediately, you know

where yourself talk is. That is such a great litmus test. Speaking of the leader, how would you

view things? Is how you do things? That is a great litmus test. And what I've found is that people

either say, no, immediately or yes, or maybe, but they're able to find exactly where they're at

when asking that question. And then I've had one gentleman challenge at one time afterwards when

I shared this on stage one time, he says, you know, Chris, he goes, you know, I just need something

different. He goes, I talk bad to myself to motivate myself. I just simply ask, well, how is that

working out? He says, no, then try something else. Try something different. You know, and so we do

have to take that litmus test there, but then also to make sure that those outside voices are

affirming. You know, so that's where we can, when we're listening to other voices, it's great,

because we need to have coaching. We need to have mentors. We need to have people that are speaking

into our lives, but there's also a hidden cost to listening to the wrong voices for too long.

Yep. You know, so tell me about time when you kept listening to the wrong voice longer than you

should have, not because you didn't know better, but because of loyalty, because of responsibility

or compassion, and really kind of what cost did that have for you personally or professionally?

Well, and I'll go even more responsibility leadership, but you listen to that voice because of

a commitment you've made. You've committed to be friends. You've committed to be a life mate. You've

committed to be in a worship environment and committed to this particular person being a voice

in your life. It goes much deeper than even just the relational or the leadership positional.

It goes to the fact that oftentimes we stay under the influence of someone's negative perspective

because we feel like our commitment makes us. We have to. We got to ask a question recently

by one of our podcast listeners that said, how do I deal with a leader who is giving me negative

talk all the time? And oftentimes I watch people say, well, that's the leader. I have to just deal

with it. That's my significant other. I have to just deal with it. And I say, no, no, no, no, not so.

So when you ask this question, how do we deal with it when some when our position or our

relationship seems to demand it? I would say number one, don't let that be an excuse.

Don't allow because I can tell you a time in my life to where someone very important to me

would hold something over my head for years. And I allowed myself to see myself differently

because of that accusation that guilt, that reminder of a bad season in my life. And for years,

I allowed someone else's posture perspective to identify me. And I felt like I had to. I didn't

feel like I had another choice. And what I would tell you people that are out there listening to

somebody significant in your life, whatever that significant category is, don't allow people

in your life to improperly define you and therefore minimize you and the power that's within you.

Surround yourself with people, as you said, that will talk to you the way that you should be

talked to. I love that. I love that. And so you find yourself in that scenario. But then you know,

you can now begin to go into this fourth one that John talks about, which is, you know, success

and separation. And so success can be a separator. But tell me about, you know, how you've seen

success quietly create distance for you in a relationship. You know, the intentional practices

that you use to stay grounded, you know, as you've seen, I mean, you're in the room with

presence, you're in the room with celebrities, you're in the room with, you know, multimillionaires,

billionaires. And so there's this gap that's being created. But what are some of the practices that

you utilize in order to stay connected and then also to and there, you know, wherever you've seen

it quietly separate relationships as well too? Well, I think for all of us. And again, you're,

you're on a road tour, um, often with people that have great influence. Number one is humbly

accepting that you're supposed to be in the room. I, I have walked into rooms to where I did not

feel qualified that I've walked into many rooms to where I didn't feel like I deserve to be there.

Two different things. By the fact that I got the invitation, I deserve to be there. I never tell

myself in any room, in any room, I don't deserve to be there anymore. I think that creates a mindset

that minimizes the contribution you can make to the room. But I also never walk into any room and

feel like that I'm entitled and that I should be there. It's a fine line. Perhaps I think it's a

wide line because one is the difference of humility and one is the difference of lack of self-esteem.

And your contribution into a room is going to directly relate to your posture in entering that room

every time. And so when I used to say I don't deserve to be in this room, I automatically put

everybody at a different place than what I am. That I'm not qualified in the room, makes me walk

into every room ready to learn. I'm ready to learn, man. If it's a president, I'm ready to learn how

I got to become president. But also walking into the room, feeling unqualified, gives me the ability

to walk in with a novice, hungry persona that becomes attractive to people that also want to grow.

And so that one idea was a game changer for me. And I crossed that bridge. I guess Chris,

it would probably be about 10 years ago when John started taking me into rooms and I'm going,

what am I doing here? You and I often, we tear up, often and go, can you believe we get to do

this? That's not a statement statement that says we don't deserve it. We should be here. But it's a

statement of humility and appreciation, not a statement of defamation and lowering our self

and our self perspective. Well, that it was exactly 10 years ago as I think about this. And as

you were sharing that story, I remember the very first conversation that you and I ever heard,

we were inside of what we call our president's advisory council as a part of Maxwell Leadership team.

I was on that very first group that was selected. And I had a chance to have lunch with you that day.

And I asked you about being inside of rooms that, you know, you didn't feel, might not feel like

you belong in. And I remember it was almost verbatim to what you just said. You said, hey,

I may be unqualified. I may be undeserving, but I'm fully confident I belong in the room.

You said those exact words to me 10 years ago. And still today, you're out here living it out.

Man. And you are too now. You are too. I mean, think about it. If you had not crossed over that

mind, all of society would have looked over you all the excuses, all the things. And here you are now

walking and people now asking you to come and not even asking John Maxwell to come. Dead serious.

You're walking into that. And if you would have not learned that, man, I've got to be qualified

into walking this room. No, you got to be confident that you should be walking into that room.

You got it. Man, what an incredible session today from John. Thank you so much for sharing

everything today. Man, great time. I know it's for sure. You know, as we I'm going to read a podcast

of comment from Dan, but I want to just say this right here. We go back to my little writer saying,

I forgive up. I wish that for every leader listening and every leader viewing today, I wish I

could give you belief. The thing I love to say more than anything, Chris, the thing I was saying

to you that day in lunch 10 years ago is, man, if you could see what I see in you, you could borrow

my belief and walk into any room. You'll get on planes. John and I won't be there. You don't need it.

It's because there is potential in us that when we realize it and we see it, it makes a difference.

It's how we view things is how we do things. I wish that I could reach through the lens. I wish

that I could reach through your audio speakers and I wish that I could just give you the belief.

And why I have the belief is I've seen it work so many times. It's worked for me.

But guess what? It's not over. It will work for you too. And I want that for you. I want that to

become your voice to yourself because I do want you to listen to your voice. Hey, Dan, thank you

for being a podcast listener. Thanks for viewing our podcast. Dan, listen to a podcast called

acknowledge your humaneness. We'll put that in the show notes and let those you that are new to

our podcast. Listen to that. It goes right along with what we've been talking about today.

Here's what Dan said. He said, this advice really humbles us as a leader. We need to ensure that

we concentrate on what we are developing and creating not just on who we are. This podcast also

reminds me of the importance of mentoring others so they can succeed. That's what this podcast is

all about. Adding value to you so you'll multiply value to others and do that and do it well

because everyone deserves to be led well.

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