Michelle Pfeiffer | War Or Else

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Welcome friends to the late show. I'm your host, even Colbert. You know what? I hope you

guys got out today. It was a fantastic day in New York. It was 70s.

Sonny would be a great day to hold a parade. And I guess we should, because according

to the president, the war in Iran is over. Yesterday he told a CBS reporter, I think the

war is very complete. Pretty much. Oh, so it's not totally over. Oh, now it seems weird

that I ran out of Times Square in French Kiston, Elmo. Yeah.

Cough enough red fur all day. After he declared victory, Trump tried to reassure a nervous

GOP that despite the recent spike in the price of oil, his war is no biggie.

We took a little excursion because we felt we had to do that to get rid of some evil.

And I think you'll see it's going to be a short-term excursion. Yes. Just a little look

excursion, a little short-term excursion. Just like royal Caribbean cruises where you can

choose excursions between snorkeling, rum tasting, and regime change. Yeah, that's an

upcharge. That's an upcharge. regime change is a little bit, it's a little bit. Midnight

regime change. Trump doubled down on his peace message yesterday at a press conference

at his Daryl golf club. A reporter asked him about the apparent inconsistency in his administration's

messages. You've said the war is, quote, very complete, but your defense secretary says

this is just the beginning. So which is it? And how long should Americans be working

to share both? So it's over, but somehow still going. It's the military strategy known

as Grey's Anatomy. It's a quality show. I'm a huge Alan Pompeo fan. Trump kept trying

to have it both ways. We could call it a tremendous success right now as we leave here. I could

call it, or we could go further, and we're going to go further. Oh, okay. So we've achieved

success, but we're not going to stop. It's like, it's like that Kenny Rogers song.

You got to know when to hold on. No, when to hold on. No, when to hold on. No, when to hold on.

No, when to hold on.

Hours. Hours. You love Kenny. You miss you, can't you miss you, Kenny?

Hours after declaring the war over, Trump took to social media to threaten Iran over the

strait of Hormuz, which brings me to Hormuz News. You can use Part 2. Let's get straight to it.

20 to 30% of the world's oil passes through the strait of Hormuz, making it a major player

in the world of straits. That's why it was disturbing. When earlier today, CBS News reported

that US intelligence assets have begun to see indications Iran is taking steps to

deploy mines in the strait of Hormuz shipping lane. Oh, yeah. That's not, that's not good,

which means it's time to update the graphic. It's now Hormuz News. You can use Part 2's

Kerbluz. Trump was not happy with the report posting. If Iran has put out any mines in the Hormuz

strait, we have no reports of them doing so. We want them removed immediately. If for any reason

mines were placed and they're not removed forth with the military consequences into Iran,

we'll be at a level never seen before. Oh, the gloves are off Iran. If those mines aren't

removed tonight, he's going to put a giant screen on your southern border and show you all the

Melania movie. Okay? Sorry. Geneva Conventions began. So far, this war has cost over $6 billion,

but burning through cash is nothing new for Secretary of War Pete Heggseth, because a

government watchdog discovered that he blew billions on things like $5.3 million for new iPads,

$60,000 for Herman Miller recliners, and $12,000 for fruit-masket stands. Wait, you're ordering,

what? That's what I think. What? Is that you? Did you say that out loud?

Thank you for paying attention to the words I say, Madam.

Either that or you just woke up in this theater. What? Not again.

So anyway, $12,000 for fruit, okay? Wait, you're ordering fruit. This is my emotional state, right? Okay.

You're ordering fruit baskets so fancy. They come with a stand.

Come on, Pete, if you need fruit at work, do the normal thing. Put a clementine in your tote and

find it three weeks later when it's a furry gray golf ball. Heggseth also

I'm with her. Heggseth also went all out on the buffet.

Reportedly, the Pentagon spent $2 million on crab legs, $6.9 million on lobster tail,

and over $15 million on rib-by-stakes. No, no, no, no, no, boo. They're just

harkening back to our founders. As Paul Revere declared on his famous ride,

one, if by surf, two, if by turf. It wasn't all.

It wasn't all high-class food. They also spent $140,000 on donuts,

$124,000 on ice cream machines, and $3,160 on stickers with characters from door to

explore, frozen and Paul patrol. And despite all that, no one came to Pete Heggseth birthday party.

It was...

This was Anne Histore Explorge. In 2025 alone, the Pentagon spent $225 million on new furniture,

which is more in one year than it had in over a decade. And I'm being told, we have a photo of

the government employee ordering all that furniture. That was a good shot. That was a good shot.

If you know what I mean.

Now, most of these purchases have no military purpose. For instance, Heggseth spent over $98,000

for a Steinway Grand Piano for the Air Force Chief of Staff's home. What kind of Air Force Chief

of Staff? I agree. What kind of Air Force Chief of Staff needs a Grand P? Okay, that makes sense.

Trump also has big plans for America's feet. I'll tell you all about it in

tonight's Shoes News. Shoes.

We got to get those shoes news to the...to the straight of Hormuz. We'll be...

Reportedly, the president has started doling out dress shoes to friends and advisors,

guessing people's shoe size in front of them, and a week later, sending them a pair of

Floreshime wingtips. You know, there's a word for a leader selecting clothing for his disciples.

It's cult. Put on the Floreshimes as father and structs, then slip on the purple poncho and

prepare to board the comet for our journey to Skyilago. And it's not just a couple...

I put even less effort into that impression than usual, just then.

It's not just a couple of pairs of shoes, folks. White House officials are saying,

all the boys have them, and it's hysterical, because everybody's afraid to not wear them.

Ha-ha, hysterical, just like that classic joke. Knock, knock. Who's there? It's the man who checks

the shoes. I see you're not wearing them. Get in the van.

So far, the folks in wearing Trump's mandatory man shoe include JD Vance, Marco Rubio,

Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy, Defense Secretary Pete Higgseth,

Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnik, Sean Hannity, and Senator Lindsey Graham,

or, as they're collectively known, Trump's wet little shoe cucks.

Now, check out...

That's not nice. That's not a nice thing to say. Let's take that out.

Check them out, sporting their matching brogues and Davos.

But remember, Trump is just guessing at their shoe sizes. He's not measuring them.

He's guessing, then ordering, and sometimes he actually overshoots. Take a look at JD Vance,

and Marco Rubio's itty bitty ankles drowning in their giant clown suites.

But it's crazy. What is crazy about that? Here's another recent shot of Marco's actual feet

where he looks like a kid who tried on his dad's...

Oh, my God.

Tried on his dad's shoes to pretend to be secretary of big boys.

One person...

One more person confused by the shoes is the owner of the shoe company

who said he was unaware of the president's orders and declined to comment further.

Not great when your shoes become associated with a widely reviled madman.

That's why Nike stopped making the air Jared from Subways.

We got a great selfie tonight.

Coming up, Michelle Vyford.

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Welcome back, everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, my first guest tonight is an Oscar-nominated actress.

As you know from dangerous liaisons, Batman Returns and Ant-Man and the Wasp,

she now stars in the Madison.

Where are you going?

Your father. So where are you going?

It is rude to talk on the phone in a restaurant.

It is also rude to play on your phone in a restaurant and serve the internet.

Basically, what all of you are doing right now is rude.

Rude to who?

It's rude to me. It's rude to each other. It's rude to the staff.

It's just a f***ing rude.

Please welcome to the late show, Michelle Vyford.

Y'all know who's it.

Who's it? At least now.

Here you go. You're the guest. I'm the host.

It's so nice to meet you. Thanks for coming on.

I can't believe it's been, I haven't been on your show.

Do this a lot.

So I see you.

I tried to avoid it.

I tried to avoid it.

You always seem like an actor who is incredibly thoughtful and discerning about the roles that she takes.

What was it about the Madison that drew you?

Did you just look at the script and say, this is it for me?

Actually, I committed there was no script.

They just gave you the name of the Madison and you had guests.

So is this a Taylor Sheridan joint?

Is it one of those?

Yeah, Taylor Sheridan.

And he asked, he said he had an idea and he wanted to meet me.

But I had to go to Texas to his ranch.

Which was beautiful.

Madison, lovely people there.

And it's been a few hours.

And he talked to me through in broad strokes the concept of it.

And I left.

Did you know anything at that point?

Did you feel like you got the idea?

Yeah, but it was pretty basic.

And I said, great.

So I'd love to read something and he said, no.

So you wanted to commit and just leave a faith here?

I want to know who the actress is and then I write to that actress.

And I get it.

It's a compliment.

I said, but I like to read something and then come get it.

And anyway, we went back and forth for a couple of weeks.

And then I realized that was not a battle.

I was going to win.

OK.

So I committed side unseen.

I mean, it's a pretty good track record.

Sure.

And I liked his kind of a fish out of water story.

And I play Stacey Clyburn, the matriarch of a wealthy New York family

who suffer a tragedy in their lives with fractures

the family, and they go to Montana.

And that's all I can tell you, because that's what you do.

I hear you reached out to a tailor shared in like a lumbna

to get a little the lowdown.

I did.

I thought I have to find out something about this.

And so I knew that Helen Mirren was doing a show with him.

The 1923.

Yes, and I loved.

And I know she doesn't suffer fools.

And so she said, the scripts are great.

And best production that they ever worked on.

And I'm having a blast.

So I thought it was a very good record right there.

Also, this is another good one.

I would take the job if I knew this, that one of my co-stars

was going to be Kurt Russell.

And you two have worked together before.

Here you are in Tequila Sunrise, back in 88.

I'm a huge fan, baby.

Just baby face.

Was it nice to be reunited?

It really was.

And we were shooting and still hadn't cast Preston.

And they were talking about various people.

And they were like, yeah, OK, yeah, that's a good word.

And then Kurt's name came up, and that was it.

It has to be Kurt, but then he had a scheduling problem.

And he was in, and he was out, and he was in, and he was out.

But I decided he was in, and because I had to, I had to.

Just internally.

Just, yeah, just.

And Kurt has a big personality.

Yeah, he does.

We just had him on, and we started with him.

Oh, did you?

And he's so, I don't know.

He's just so joyful.

And he comes in, and he just takes command,

and he's, you feel safe with him.

He's got those damn dimples.

Those dimples.

I know.

Come on, he just gets older, and somehow it just gets.

And that hair, what about the hair?

His hair is amazing.

It's crazy.

It's crazy.

Oh, but it's got to be extensions, right?

I know, I think.

No way.

Something's going on there.

Exactly.

That's a chia pet up there.

We have to quick break.

But right back with more, Michelle, fight for everybody.

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Hey everybody.

We're back with the star of the Madison Michelle Fyper.

OK, so as you say, your character goes off to the Montana Wilderness.

Do you enjoy, because you shot in the Montana Wilderness, right?

We shot in the Montana Wilderness.

Montana played Montana in this.

And Montana is the star of the show.

OK, do you enjoy the Montana Wilderness?

Do you enjoy this majestic?

Are you outdoorsy?

I'm sure your character's out there.

I can be.

OK.

I can be.

I don't, I'm kind of a city mouse.

Yeah, it's so beautiful though.

You must have loved being created.

I loved it, and I have to say, you know, leaving when the sun hasn't come up, but comes up

on your way to work and going home as the sun is setting the most beautiful skies I've

ever seen.

And they call it big sky for a reason.

Sure.

Yeah, we built, we were out in the middle of nowhere and they built our cabin there.

And we were kind of roughing it.

Oh yeah?

Yeah, yeah.

Every day.

You're at this co-star right here.

Do you want to know about this co-star?

That is a wolf.

Is that a proper wolf?

That is a proper wolf.

They have a tiny bit of dog mixed in with them.

Otherwise, they're not trainable.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

And he was beautiful and sweet and soulful.

Did you put your mouth right up there?

I know.

That is so brave.

I know.

For a city mouse.

I would definitely wish.

And do you have many scenes with the wolf?

You're just one.

Just one.

OK.

They said an interesting thing to me, though,

as I was getting out of the car to come to the set, to shoot the scene,

one of the production assistants came up and said, are you wearing any leather?

And I was, I was wearing a suede jacket and they said,

OK, because, and I thought, oh god, it's going to attack me.

It's a good thing they asked me.

And they said, no, no, no, no, you're safe.

But it will make him very sad.

But wolves are carnivorous.

So it's OK for him to kill a cow, but not you.

Yes, yes.

I don't know.

Maybe a dead animal that you haven't eaten makes them sad.

I don't know.

Oh wow.

So did you take off the suede jacket?

No, but there was something I wasn't able to do.

So you made a wolf sad on purpose.

Oh, oh, I know.

I wasn't able to get really close to him.

And so that picture was taken after the scene and I stripped my jacket off

and went over and kissed the wolf.

Well, you're also, you also are in the fragrance business.

I've always wanted to get my own fragrance.

Is that a hard process?

It was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

Yeah.

And yeah, it continues to be when my kids were young.

And I started reading labels and looking at ingredients.

And anyway, one thing led to another.

And I discovered that this is it.

Yeah, so it's a fragrance company.

It's called Henry Rose.

Henry Rose, named after my kids.

Oh, Henry Ann Rose?

Because they were the inspiration.

And it's the smell like your children.

It's the safest.

Because I wouldn't want things that smelled like my children.

Kids don't smell like it.

Absolutely.

I think would you like to try it?

Sure.

OK, Betty.

Oh, my gosh.

Nice.

I got it.

I got a rush home to my wife.

Thank you very much.

And that's for you.

This is for me?

Yes.

Oh, your wife.

Oh, your wife.

Oh, so much better.

Thank you so much.

You're so lovely to meet you, Michelle Pfeiffer.

The Madison premiere is this Saturday on Paramount Plus.

It's Michelle Pfeiffer.

Thank you for listening to The Late Show Part Show with Stephen Colbert.

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My precious situations of positive reinforcement is crucial to one success.

You're doing a great job.

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These friends of mine?

They all live for something bigger than themselves.

And that's Starfleet.

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