MONEY DOESN’T CHANGE PEOPLE — IT JUST EXPOSES THEM!

Hello and welcome to Underdogs, bootstrappers, and game changers.

This is for those of you that are starting with nothing and using business to change

their stars, motivating people who disrupted industry standards.

This is the real side of business.

This isn't shark tank.

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It's for the person that wants it.

Hello and welcome to another episode of Underdogs, bootstrappers, and game changers.

Once again in the studio, I've got a great friend, Melissa Sue.

How are you doing?

I'm doing fantastic.

I love to be sitting right here because behind the cameras we're always chatting.

We are.

That's why we're having a conversation today that I wanted to peel out into something great

for the audience.

Really, it's funny.

We've known each other quite a long time and I was telling the team, I'm like, and you

think you know somebody.

We started talking about wealth, right, and wealth impact, and imagery, and things like that

on society, and where I really want to go with an episode today is you've had some interesting

run-ins.

You met Julie, I don't even know how to say, Max Well from the Epstein Top.

She's playing mess well.

Yeah.

You were a private flight attendant and like former presidents and big, big, and the secret

service, we flew around globally, around the world.

This is all in my early 20s, you know, so a couple of decades.

Yeah.

You know, it's really interesting because I believe that society should, excuse me, I believe

that wealth and success comes with obligation.

And you know, we were both exposed, you know, in our younger years, myself through country

clubs and bartending and things like that in college, and you through, you know, private

flight attending around some of the richest people in the world.

And I really want to get to point home, especially with the way that society's looking at wealth

and success these days, that let's make good people get to success.

Yes.

Like we're getting an unbalanced amount of core moral people in positions of power and

success.

And you know, it's usually not something I want to touch on, but I like, I really for

my underdogs, I want them to, we need more good people making it, you know, is what

it comes down to.

Yes.

So I want that too.

And that's why for me, the more I build success, the more it's so I could give back.

Yes.

Right?

And use it for good.

Because I think we've seen it where we've seen some people with just a lot of money and

how corrupt it was.

Yeah.

And where we idealize, you know, as a young girl, I know you idealize like, wow, to own

a private jet, to fly around the world is like, that's it.

You want to make it to that.

Yeah.

I mean, young men the same thing.

We see the Ferrari guy and like every young man thinks he needs a bunch of money to get

a girlfriend, you know, and it's like, it's crazy.

And it has more to do with having a mission, you know, like having something like, correct

me if I'm wrong.

Women mostly want to see that you have some sort of plan and work ethic.

Yes.

Yes.

You know, it's like, it is.

Some ambition, you know?

Yeah.

And like, a lot of women, you know, like, and I don't want to speak for them, but around

a lot of them, you know, it's like, it's less to do with what you have and where you're

going and the type of person that you are.

Yeah.

Generous.

I mean, for me, I think as a woman, I was never into, I could just see right through

the ego-tastic man where, yeah, they could be really good looking.

They have the career, they're nicely dressed, they have all the money.

But I could see in their heart, that wasn't being used for good.

Yeah.

And I'd rather, Wade, rather have the guy who has the good heart, still has the ambition,

may not be, has what people perceive as the major model type, you know?

Yeah.

Not for me was so attractive because they were generous with their money, with their

heart, with their time, and where they're going.

And I think that for me as a young woman, that's what I was more attracted to.

And I almost was, for me, to see a man using his power of money and good looks, to not use

it for good, for me right away, he was ugly.

Like he was just, I'm turned off by that.

It's amazing how ugly people can get, you know, so quickly, when you learn that they're

awful person, or, you know, like, when you see their heart, so to speak, it's like, it

doesn't matter what the billboard says for, like, the beauty as a whole, but people can get

ugly really quickly.

Yeah, absolutely.

You know, and seeing you and I, I believe, are really fortunate to have seen the, like,

big side of, like, success, or really, at least, what the world, I might, my definite success

is completely different than the worlds.

I use this definition of success because that's what most people picture, right?

You know, but that's actually not my definition of success and it hasn't been for 15 years,

you know, so, but most peoples, right?

And like, you were around a lot of wealthy people, private planes, you've got to be on

another level.

It's a whole different, that's, I kept on saying that to people.

I'm like, what I see on a daily basis is, okay, a limousine bringing you to your private

aircraft.

Then on a private aircraft, we cater, we, you land at private airports.

I've landed at the Dubai Royal Airport where there's a red carpet, people meeting you.

Sometimes there's a black Hawk helicopter landing for you to bring you to another destination.

Yep.

I mean, you're going just for a weekend trip to a wedding in India, a nine day wedding,

and then I see an entire fleet of private jets at one time, actually, at the Dubai airport

where the Royal Airport, I kept on asking the workers there, I was like, oh my gosh,

there was a triple seven, you know, the double-decker's.

Yeah.

I'm like, I want to go see in there.

Uh-huh.

I mean, all gold, gold plated, there's hot tubs, there's, you know, it's just a whole

different level of money.

I mean, there's wealthy and then there's the Uber wealthy.

And that for me, what I saw, what it did, it almost made me really sad at times.

Yes.

Because I would truly see these men, they would share sometimes, oh, the pictures of their

wives and kids and, but then what I saw on the other side sometimes was like, then there's

drugs and then there's escorts and then there's this and I'm like, wow, that was so correct.

You know, I saw the same thing working at the country club.

These are the pillars of society, right, and they'd have these like events and things

like that and they would order in strippers.

And these are like old men, you know, like some of them younger, 40s, 50s, but 60s, 70s

and they're throwing roles at the strippers and like getting insanely drunk, like a bunch

of Pratt boys, you know, with like a bigger wallet and it really grossed me out.

It was actually one of the turning points in my own life because I had this illusion growing

up a poor kid that you had to have like something different, you know, it was like something

different that I didn't have that got you to success.

That brought me to, it was such a gift because it brought me to the normalcy of successful

people.

And a lot of times you find out their dad was part of the country club and their dad's

dad was.

So then it was a lot of like inherited wealth and that sort of stuff had it down.

And I got such a chip on my shoulder about like the way they treated me too.

And I'm curious.

It's like I was treated very poorly, you know, at the country club, like every once in

a while you'd get somebody that was decent, but you know what's funny is usually they

come in decent and then they like, they would change.

They would get like more mean to you.

They treat you like the help.

I had one person even call me the help when I worked there.

So curious, your experience, especially as a beautiful woman.

I actually, my experience, I was very grateful that my boss, who on the aircraft was so grounded.

But I truly feel because he was self-made and he was always rooted in keeping, um, seeing

his friends and grounded it in who he was and he did a lot of service.

And I think that's why we had President Clinton Foundation on because he donated his aircraft

for what he was doing and we traveled the world to do things of service.

And at a time his wife was also doing humanitarian work in Africa.

But so I was treated like we were one of them.

And not the help.

And in fact, we were sometimes invited out for dinners or tours and and so I really

loved that.

But I would land at all the private jet airports.

And I would have conversations with other flight attendants and they would tell me that

they were treated like the help.

Like it was just so different.

And the only time I actually experienced that it was interesting, we were actually, uh,

celebrating, uh, Clinton's 60th birthday.

So we're settling people to his birthday party.

But then I had a whole bunch of celebrities on.

So I met lots of celebrities and that's where I was treated like the help.

Interesting.

So certain celebrities that came on, all of a sudden I'm like, oh, welcome aboard doing

my thing, you know, and offering a drink because this is not their aircraft they're coming

on.

We're we're shuddling them.

Yeah.

With this beautiful, he was a huge aircraft.

I mean, he had a bedroom, shower, you know, beautiful aircraft that we were on.

And they're like, oh, no, no, you don't, you don't talk to him.

You talk only to his assistant and I'm like, oh, I wasn't used to that, you know, and

I'm like, okay, this is different energy.

This is different.

And so that's where I did experience that where I was more treated like the help.

Yeah.

You know, I'm less than.

Yeah.

But I, and I did hear that from a lot of other flight attendants working on other planes.

Like it was so strict, it was, and they were the help.

But I was grateful that I was never treated that way with my boss per se.

And so I am really grateful for those experiences.

I know we were also, when I was invited out for dinner, though, I always made sure, because

for in my early 20s, I could have been easily always persuaded, you know, on dates, you

know, the older men's that would come on there, I definitely, you know, there was people,

you know, definitely doing that.

But I knew I would never want to put myself in that situation, going into these things

alone with a older man.

So I, for more out of curiosity, when I was, oh, maybe invited to a party, I said, well,

I only go if I have the two pilots with me.

Yeah.

And then they were like, oh, no, you know, but I just knew to keep it always professional

too, and not to get lost in like, oh, I'm really curious.

I want to go.

Because then I could put myself, yeah, because one time I was invited, we've had landed

in the BVI, and the helicopter was waiting for them to bring them to this other island.

And who knows if it was the Epstein, I don't know, right?

And I was so tempted just to add a curiosity, but I knew better, don't put myself in that

situation when all of a sudden I'm by myself, trapped on this island, what kind of situation

I might put myself in.

So I always thought I had to be staying grounded and not in loss in all the glamour, you know,

the excitement of wanting to experience it.

I had to really stay grounded in who I was to as a woman and how to stay professional.

It's so hard because beautiful young women have a lot of things thrown at them, right?

And it's like, and you never know who's intentioned or not very well intentioned, and, you

know, the, I want story I wanted to get to with you is like, you mentioned going to Thailand,

you know, and then sitting next to Julian Maskwell.

It's just Len.

It's a French name.

Yeah.

I don't say it very well.

It's just Len Maskwell, yeah.

Yeah, could you tell me a little bit more about that experience?

Yeah, that is still so surreal, because I didn't know who she was, but when the whole

Epstein story came out, I was like, oh my goodness, like I, I met this woman.

I flew with her.

We, she wasn't on our craft, but she was following with another private jet, and we had gone

out for dinner in Thailand, and she sat beside me.

And I do remember, recall her saying, hey, I'll take some pictures, you mine, and I'll send

them to you.

Yeah.

It's like, oh, yeah, great.

We had tour the next day, we had flown to Cambodia, we toured all the temples with President

Clinton and the Secret Service, and then she was there as well.

Yeah.

And I now, when I heard about the Epstein story, where she would be, the lady who takes

pictures, bring back pictures, and I'm like, wow, yeah.

This could have been, you know, maybe a part of that whole story.

Do you think she was kind of like, empirically acting in that?

Like was she trying to?

Yeah, I mean, she seemed really not.

I would have never guessed, like, I'll, usually I'm pretty intuitive.

I didn't really didn't feel anything off from her, and just like, oh, I want to take

pictures.

She seemed very normal.

And so I was really caught off guard when I saw that story, because I couldn't believe

how close, you know, I worked with one of my best friends as a flight attendant.

And she was there as well that day, and I was like, wow, I can't believe it, that, you

know, we were with this woman who's doing such awful things to young women.

And we were young women at the time.

Yeah.

And how we didn't get integrated into that.

Well, it sounds like there, like, a lot of you, you've been smart with it, like, Kim

Alexis is a friend of mine.

She's one of the most covered supermodels of all time.

And she talks all the time about how they would like, try to pressure her into doing

topless things or like put her next door to the room of the editor of the magazine or

not get the cover and things sort of.

They put her in all these different situations, and she put her foot down and say, no.

And I think that's hard for a lot of women to do, you know, I can't even imagine.

I know.

Oh, trust me.

I get like, oh, you had the, you know, the, the angel of the devil is like sitting when

you're being given such a big opportunity.

I still remember like it was yesterday.

Yeah.

When I was offered to go to this private island party and hop on this helicopter with everyone,

but I was like, no, and see who knows what it would have, you know, I don't know, especially

with everything coming out, you know, it's, and this, this isn't, we're not diving into

politics and conspiracy and what Mel and I want for you from this conversation is we really

want you to see, we really want more successful people making it that want to do some good

in the world.

You know, I think, and I, I used to worry so much and how do you feel about this?

It's like, I at first thought you had to be an asshole to be successful in business.

That was what the world had taught me.

I was like 20 years old.

I'm like, no way I can be a business owner because those guys have to be assholes.

I really thought that, you know, and it's like, I thought you had to be an asshole to be

successful, you know, and it's not the case at all, you know, and we'd love to say, oh,

I treat the employee like the CEO or I treat the janitor and the CEO the same.

That's not my experience for the most part.

People love to say that, you know, but to that point, it's like, I find that a lot of people

that get to success, the money empowers them either to be really good or really bad.

Yeah.

I actually, good example of that.

I have some neighbors.

They are very successful, but they're using it for so much good.

Yeah.

I mean, they're such a beautiful family of like, yes, I could see why God gifted them all

of this because they keep utilizing it to give back to community.

I mean, even the own places all over, they're always open house.

People can use it, but they give back so much more to the community.

And so many ways.

And they've adopted, you know, children of four children of, you know, four children

to give them a better life.

And they just do so much good.

And I think we need more people like that to have money of power to use it for good.

And I, and that's really why for me, I'm like, I'm comfortable, but if I do get more,

I do want, you know, dreams of opening up, healing facilities for families where the

whole family can come and integration.

But yeah, it costs all money, right?

And I mean, money is a tool and it's a productive tool.

And like, I feel like too often to the wrong hands.

That's actually a big reason I started all this stuff.

It's like, I wanted more good-hearted people making it.

You know, it's like, because people do say like, money accentuates whatever.

If you're a good person, it makes you a even better person because you do a lot with

it.

And a person makes you even a worse person because they start exploring their perversions,

right?

And they get to desensitize to it because once you can have anything you want, then they

go further.

You know, and it's like, we don't need people like that making it.

Yes.

You know, we need more good-hearted people making it.

And so like, I wanted to lift the curtain today around that sort of stuff.

You and I talk a lot about like, success and impact.

You know, and that's one thing I, like, absolutely adore about all of our conversations.

Like, getting people to realize that it's like, we were talking earlier and I'm like,

you know, some days I have that feeling.

It's like, I don't want to play anymore.

You know, I want to kind of take my ball and go home because the world feels so frustrating

with the messaging it's putting out there, with what we say is happiness and like, it's

not at all.

You know, it's like, if you just have the Ferrari and the only fans girlfriend and, you

know, that's what they're telling young men these days, you know?

And young women, it's kind of like, hey, find yourself the sugar daddy.

You know, they're saying, marry first time for his money and the second time for love.

It's like, because money's security, right?

Women want security, but what I found, women who married just for that security, just

a life of kind of loneliness and misery and no boundaries.

And so it was kind of a lonely sad marriage, right?

And so, yeah, if we can just teach young men, young women that to truly love themselves

and seek out their own power of to make money and use it for good and find somebody else

as well as a partner that is wants to do the same.

You know, don't get blinded by all of the accolades that someone might have or that Ferrari

or that fancy car or that private jet, you know?

And I think a lot of us, we glorify it and just make sure we're not giving that the power.

Well, and then it helped me here too.

It's like so many people that seemingly have everything, you know, are the most miserable

people I've ever met.

Oh, yes.

Right?

They're the ones like getting to the country club, showering off their mistress, you know?

It's like while trying to play in family guy when everybody's looking, you know?

Definitely so.

That a lot.

And that made me so sad.

Yeah.

Almost made me angry at men.

I'm like, are they all like this?

Yeah.

Like I had a hard time trusting men, you know, seeing that.

Well, and it's like, it's gotten even worse, I think I was watching that manosphere documentary

on Netflix and it's about like basically these 24-year-old-ish males that are alpha males

that are like their racist, their homophobic, they're telling you to like, basically,

your woman should do everything for you.

They're allowed to sleep with as many people as they want, but you're not allowed to

sleep with anybody, you know?

And so like, I'm seeing that side and then they, you find out they don't even believe it.

It's just a griff to get you to give them money, you know?

And then the other side is like, I turned on, who's your daddy and I saw some clips the

other day.

And this woman was talking, and I kid you not, it was making me blush.

You know?

It was like, it was like so pornographic speech that if you closed your eyes, like, it

would be rated XXX.

And then I find out she's 24 years old.

And I'm like, how the heck does she even know this stuff at 24 years old?

You know?

It's like, so like, inundated these kids these days, it's like, it's gotten worse than

even, you know, when we were kids, you know?

Like we had the perception, but we weren't getting hit the way they are.

Yeah.

Yeah, to be careful what we're trying to do it for our kids, what to, they kind of look

up to.

Right?

My kids joke around too, because they know I've worked on private jets and my daughter's

like, one day with us have what I'm like, okay, or my son's really into cars, oh,

the Bugatti.

Yeah.

But I'm always like, okay, it's okay to like want these things, but remember, this

will not bring you the ultimate happiness I saw it.

People who had it all, had the Bugatti, had the airplane.

There was still unhappiness, there was still divorce, there was still numbing.

You know, so you really have to find it first, you know, and really find just waking up

seeing the sunrise.

Like for me, right now seeing the sunrise and hearing the little birds outside, that's

what brings me happiness.

And even, I'm happy, I'm happy right now, and like you were saying, I'm ready to just

be like, oh, stop podcasting, stop doing this because I'm good, I'm at peace.

But I'm driven to continue because we need more positive messages.

We need more to spread that, for generations, I am truly trying to change generational patterns

of what, you know, my, the father and my kids was taught from a young age, you know,

that, yeah, money, power, just work, work, work, and this will bring you a happiness.

If I just provide for my family, they'll be happy.

Nope.

No, connection.

Yeah.

Connection and slowness, and so I think it's lost.

So we almost need to break down the old structure and rebuild one because it's not

working.

It's not working for families.

It's not working how many divorce now, you know, so it's, there's a disconnection.

And you had like the picture perfect life as far as society is as far as history.

Oh, everybody, yeah, everybody thought, oh, what, yeah, Scott, Melissa, and then we have

a boy and a girl, the dental practice, beautiful home, beautiful, we travel, all the things.

Yes, I almost called my first book picture perfect, you know, but it's just truth behind

the smiles because it just align us in dentistry.

But because yes, the family pictures, the one that we use for all our postcards for a dental

office, we were picture perfect.

Yeah.

But God was I living a lonely life there.

That's the truth.

You know, it's so crazy.

So your ex-husband, well, husband, I don't even, so I know I know because he's passed,

you know, died, but it's been four years now, which is last week, was four years anniversary.

Yeah.

Die by suicide.

And, yeah, he, it's, yeah, he, so he, so he's six foot four, right, and then like,

was it athlete, right?

Yeah, I mean, he, he, I don't consider it athlete.

He did jujitsu.

Yeah.

You know, he did love that.

But all good looking guy.

Yes, yes.

Right, dental degree.

Oh, yeah.

When I first met him, you know, we were both in early 20s, I mean, and he was the dentist

of the town.

Well, Dr. Scotty, too, hotty, you know, everybody, all the women in town, you of him, you know.

And then like, so, and that's the, like, I think that's like a point that I want to get

across.

He, in essence, had everything.

And then he has you.

He meets you.

You guys get married.

I know you're, you're a wonderful person, you know, like, I can't say enough good things

about you and your heart.

You have two amazing kids.

He's still not happy.

He's in top of the world, as far as like what the picture, yeah, successful dental practice.

We have had one of the most beautiful properties in Alaska, you know, in Wastilla.

Yeah.

And still, there was an emptiness because he never went and dug in to the past pains, you

know, we often, no matter what, we all have different upbringing, but him, it's still

a hurt that he was trying to numb.

You know, I think a lot of times, so I watch like celebrities in a different way.

And especially comedians, I actually think comedians are like some of the most intelligent

people in the planet.

I think to be funny, you have to be intelligent.

And you watch them, right?

And like a Chris Farley or something like that.

And it's like, okay, the world tells you if you have women, right, significant sexy

other, you know, it's like, and if you have the car and the house and the fame, you know,

it's like, these are happiness.

You watch these people that get there and they're the most miserable they ever had.

Look at Jim Carey, you know, it's like, and I think it lies somewhere around of, that's

what the world is promising us.

And this stuff, and you will be happy, right?

And it's like your husband was somebody that had all of the stuff and still couldn't

find, it had an amazing woman, had an amazing family, you know, still couldn't find happiness.

And that's where like people chase this thing, you know, that's like not real, you know,

they need to chase connection, right?

They need to chase faith, they need to chase mission, right?

And like, don't get me wrong, none of this means be poor.

Either, you know, it's like, that's never been my message, even though people think that

of me, sometimes it's like, I like having a truck that starts.

I don't like, I don't want to worry where my next meal comes from.

I like having resources to do good things for other people and not have to think about

it, you know, it's like, but it's not everything.

I do.

I feel that you can, if you don't work on your past hurts, the past wounds, you'll keep

showing up in your life and then you won't find the happiness of all the achievements

that you have.

It'll never be enough.

Yeah.

And they'll be that void.

And then you'll want to numb that void and that's what I saw in my own husband kept

on numbing and avoiding that void and it kept on happening.

These, these hurts of a, for in his mind, oftentimes in divorce, parents will kind of talk

bad about the other parent and that is so damaging it children.

I do see that was probably what happened for Scott when his parents went through divorce

and then so I made him look at his mom like she's the bad one and it caused almost like

this abandonment like, oh, my mom left us and this and that and he created this own story

in his mind about his mother and it really hurt him and it really got him to shut her

out in my life.

I just shut her out.

It'll be fine.

Yeah.

I'll avoid it.

Yeah.

Well, no, by I saw it, keep coming back, coming back, that avoidance, then, okay, then he

had a hurt with his brother, you know, his brother, you know, then there was a hurt there.

It just, I feel life will keep kind of spiraling things in your life until you deal with it

properly and then of course, his dad got terminally ill and he was really close with him and

then that was just, well, if I lose him now, I have nobody else and he truly felt alone.

But he wouldn't, what I was going to say, even though he had it all, he couldn't see

the love around him.

He had a lot of friends that loved him, admired him.

I mean, when he passed, there's some people, I was Scott's best friend.

I was Scott's best friend.

Everybody loved him.

He was very charismatic and generous too and that's what I loved about him.

But because he didn't work on any of his old past wounds and wouldn't see it, no matter

what he tried to fill his life with, he didn't feel that internal wound that he had.

You know, I love how much you're doing for like helping people understand, like, suicide

prevention and like, you work a lot in this, especially around professionals, you know,

and that's actually such a key point of like this whole conversation because these professionals

are the people that seemingly have everything, you know, and like, do you happen to know the

staff for like suicides around dental and professional?

Oh, dental and professional as well.

It is kind of a, I say, 80% of dentists have gone through some sort of burnout or chronic

back pain.

I don't know how many of them have gotten the neck fused, back pain and an opioid.

So that's like 80%.

Crazy.

80% of them.

And then that's why it is on the top end of suicide, right?

And so I got so curious as to why, because you know what, interesting happened after my

husband passed, it was such a ripple of shock in a dental community.

But then something interesting happened, then dentists started reaching out to me and

then sharing their stories, sharing their close call.

Yeah.

And now still to this day, I probably get a text message or call that we've lost another

dentist to suicide.

Wow.

It's there.

And I think I'm starting to get to the wise and because I'm getting so many dentists

on as a guest, I'm kind of figuring out, you know, their environment.

So this is where I'm being called to speak and bring awareness as to why in that profession,

because there's other very stressful professions.

So why dentistry and so why do you think what's your current hypothesis?

Okay.

Well, I do feel they go into dental school and it's hard.

Yeah.

It's going to be extremely hard as heavy weight and they're like, okay, they finally graduate

and they're like, whoo, relieved.

Yeah.

Perfect.

I'll hit the ground.

Now the world's my oyster, yeah.

Yes.

And I'll start making the income.

But no, you start off and you have half a million dollar in debt.

Yeah.

Not only that, I know for a fact, because we had a lot of associates that were right out

of school.

Scott had to loan them loans because insurance wise, you don't get paid right away as a dentist.

Yeah.

It takes months.

Yeah.

And to build the clientele now, you have to build trust with your patients.

So you got to build, you know, production and it becomes such a production thing.

Yeah.

And not so much treating the patient as a whole.

So then there's just that constant pressure and precision.

They are all very much as a dentist perfectionist and it's never enough and they're using, they

work in millimeters.

So there's a constant pressure and imperfectionism and they think it's never good enough, right?

And also environmental.

So I do speak about environmental.

You work close quarters with patients with a lot of fear and anxiety.

Sure.

So the science is physiology that you take that on as a healer.

You take that on on a regular basis and that causes inflammation because it causes stress

in your body, especially probably the better person you are.

I would assume because it's like you take that empathy on more people fly to come see

Scott because he was like he could remove that pain.

It can really hold space for them.

But over time, if you're always in that state, the whole office isn't that fight in flight.

Like my husband had, I don't see that regularly.

I still work as a dental hygienist.

He had three columns of patients.

So he would see about, you know, 40, 50 patients a day plus three hygiene.

So it's like, go, go, go, go, go, go, you barely have time to eat.

Think so you're in constant state of fight and flight.

Well, what happens when you're in constant state of fight and flight?

Your blood vessels constrict.

Yeah.

The oxygen flow to your body, to your cells, decreases.

But only that in your gut, what happens is that your body kind of stops digesting and

all that.

Yes.

It's taking on nutrients.

Yep.

So if you're in that constant state, he worked five, six days a week.

Yep.

And their patient is in fight and flight.

So you're constantly in that energetic state.

Yeah.

In sympathetic.

Well, over time, inflammation.

Dennis, does number one suicide or profession, right?

Yes.

It is.

I think the inflammation, and not only that, I know this is kind of taboo, call it what

it is.

In dental school, they work manually with a malgum.

Yeah.

And a malgum has mercury in it about what is it, 40% it's made with mercury.

And now when they're using drills to put a malgum fillings or remove them, they're breathing

in those gases of mercury.

You know, they used to use mercury for syphilis.

And in fact, I think that's the way Blackbeard the pirate ended up dying or going crazy.

Well, think of the mad hatters.

There's the mad hatters too, whether they worked with mercury for the felt hats.

Yep.

Also, you know, interesting fact.

I used to work, you know, on airplanes.

So I was curious because I remember flying to him saying in the back of the galleys, they

had aluminum, right, all the galleys.

And some of them say they get numbing at the hands of working with them constantly.

And I was like, I wonder if that had mercury in that.

No, there's no mercury in any type of aircraft build.

And in fact, engineers are afraid of even a slight drop of mercury to drop on an aircraft

because it's going to corrode.

So do you imagine we have that in our mouth now?

Isn't that something?

Yeah.

So, but it's okay to have it in our mouth.

And I know Scott removed it.

That's all he did is remove them and put, you know, the ceramic implants and he would

do composite, which is the white ones.

Yeah.

But he worked with that constantly.

So I do feel a big why because it's a big neurotoxin, mercury is a big neurotoxin, is

that it started affecting his thought patterns.

Yeah.

Usually causes numbing of the fingers, it causes nerve damage.

And one thing Scott always talked about is that he had nerve damage.

He actually took this medication, Symbalta.

He always talked about that.

He said, I'm taking this because of the nerve damage.

Wow.

And what happens neurologically it starts making you not make conscious decisions, fucking

brain, you don't remember much.

And it's exactly what I saw progression wise.

It's hard to pinpoint exactly one thing.

But I think that plays a big role, their environment.

Our nervous system is constantly in a toxic environment and dental office.

Think about the sonic sounds of a drill.

Yeah.

That is so hard on your nervous system on a daily basis.

So that's why I'm trying to speak and bring some regulation, in a dental practice for

the provider, patients, because we have to get out of that fight and flight on a constant

basis.

There's so many extenduating certain senses there.

But the basics of it too, it's like being a dentist is a trying profession, right?

You're also a business owner at the same time.

Most of them, right?

So you're an entrepreneur too, so you have all that stress like you're saying.

And then I think what people tend to do is they tend to escape in one way or another,

right?

Or you get to the point where it's just like, yeah, I can't take this anymore.

And we talked a little bit about faith too.

And it's like, that's one thing that keeps me really grounded.

I believe that there's a higher power in this world.

I don't believe my life is my own.

I think I'm here to do impactful things for my maker, right?

And that really guides me when I have the bad day where I don't, like, where life doesn't

make a lot of sense, you know?

So talk to me what faith is done in your life to kind of guide you and keep you going

through.

Like, it's not even close to easy.

You have two kids now that are missing dad.

It's not even close to easy to like supersede past what you have, right?

No, no.

I always say, I couldn't, people like, how did you even do it when your husband passed?

And there was so much that I had to take on and I always say, it was God.

God gave me that strength.

I know some people were praying for us.

And there's no, that's what gave me the strength.

And that was my guide all along.

And I believed in God before, but what I saw even the day, my husband decided to, you

know, die by suicide.

I was on the beach and there was like a wave, there was a wave, something.

That's why I was like, we're not alone.

We're never alone.

Something gave me a nudge to pick out my phone and message my husband and to say, I love

you.

I love you because I knew he was struggling.

His dad was on his last days there.

But it was that wave and even leading up to me finding him in the room and how everything

continued.

I was guided all along what to do next, but I had to listen and I had to be guided.

Even when I moved to why I moved to Arizona, it was God calling me here, didn't make sense

at the time.

I knew, I knew nobody.

And I knew I needed to find a faith-based school for my children because I couldn't

do it alone and they needed to be on a daily basis surrounded by people that talk about

God, that pray together and that's a norm because they've had gone through very horrific

day.

They were there, you know, hearing all the sirens, seeing the paramedics come, seeing

it, the police, you know, investigating us.

It was so traumatic to the point where every time they hear sirens, they're like, oh,

you know, it would trigger them.

So I couldn't have done it with them not believing in a higher power as well, but my daughter

went through her own like, well, I don't like God because she took away my dad.

You know, it's so hard to comprehend that when hard things happen, well, why God would

make this happen, but that's not God.

That wasn't God who did that, you know, but what God opened up for me was the more

eyes surrendered and prayed and become more in my practice, spiritual practice.

More doors open, you know, I know he told me to use my voice.

That was clear the day my husband passed because everyone asked me, what, what should you

say?

I said, die by suicide.

You sure?

I'm like, oh, yeah, I wrote it in arbitrary and I put the hotline, you know, the 988 and

I made it very open because I knew not talking about it is not going to solve and bring awareness

to others.

So that was stronger than me.

I think for me now that is my guide.

That's how I write my books.

Often time I'm writing these books, I'm praying, waking up the middle of the night and it

flows.

And a lot of times these words are just given to me.

Yeah.

I'm just that vessel to put these messages out there and I truly believe my husband didn't

come to church with us and I never really talked about believing in a higher power.

You know, I can't speak for him, but that's what I know he wouldn't come to church with

us.

But for the three days that I sat with him at the hospital, I prayed over him and when

I, and I, I believe that the soul was still there, even though they told me he is clinically

brain dead, he can't hear you.

I knew he could.

So I talked to him.

I forgave him.

I prayed over him.

I was saying, credible happen.

There's a tear.

I will never forget a tear came down because he finally surrendered.

He finally saw what I kept talking about.

And there was a difference once he passed the day he passed.

I could tell the soul had left the body.

And I know there is a higher power and I know he hasn't left us because there's too many

signs that he has given us over the years now.

And, and I think for my children for grieving to know that God is their father, that they're

truly never alone through this and that dad is still there.

He's not physically there, but you can always talk to him, you can pray for him.

And to be mindful of their, their thoughts, their spiraling into the, the traumas, you know,

there's often times that comes with shame and guilt and could have done enough, but always

reminding them that it's important to start your day with prayer, with gratitude, even

of your hardest days.

And now I can honestly say that this was a gift, that the most horrible times of my life

was now a gift.

I see that because now I have a story that I can connect to the heart or people and realize

that you don't have to hit rock bottom, don't wait till you're at that rock bottom.

To lose everything.

Start now.

Start with your kids in believing that they're not alone.

Start with your kids doing affirmations in front of a mirror.

Normalize it has to all start with you, right?

And normalize it.

So that then we can have a different generation, you know, generation that's open has the tools

to communicate when it's hard, like for me, I hated conflict and avoided it completely.

So learning to communicate in conflict is hard, you know, it's hard and having boundaries

was never a thing.

I remember doing this breathwork session and it was, it was God gives me messages and

it was like big bubble letters, boundaries.

And I need to work on that, you know.

It's one of my favorite books, probably my favorite book is Man Search for Meaning.

And I'm going to paraphrase, it's like life isn't what happens to you, it's how you react

to it.

And I think you've said it so eloquently and it's set you on this mission.

And although we would never wish this for you or anybody else for that matter, it's

happened, right?

And now you're using it to do something good.

Those of you out there that things have happened to, I don't wish that on you, right?

But you can make it a purpose and a mission.

And I really wanted you to see today that like the definite success is probably not what

you think it is.

I wanted to walk you through the journey that Mel and I had a little bit, you know, about

interacting with success at younger ages.

And like having my own success now, it's, it's definitely impacted me to want it like,

I never got why you get there and you don't help people, you know, like I never understood

that.

I didn't understand the selfishness around success.

And so like learn, it's like, yes, have your success, but have it mission related in

my opinion.

Yes.

Still have connection.

The number one regret everybody has successful business people included is they didn't

send more time with their family, right?

Like realign what success is, you know, and we need more good-hearted people making it.

And those of you that are out there that are doubting yourselves, you're probably the

one that needs to start today, right?

You out there that you're not even watching my podcast that's full of themselves, you

know, you out there, you're the ones I'm wishing won't make it because you do the horrible

things that the world is having done, right?

There's not enough of you good ones making it to success.

So make your success.

You good ones make it to success.

The world needs more kind-hearted bad-asses like Mel Sue, underdogs, bootstrappers, and

game changers.

And I want to thank you so much for sharing the stories today.

Like I think it's incredibly impactful for our audience and I love having you in my

life and the discussions we have, and we'll have to do it again.

Yes, absolutely.

I'm honored and I always say, now I'm so particular who I do business with and we so align your

faith, being of service, and that's why I love coming to the studio because you get it.

You get why I'm here, you know, and sharing the message.

So I'm honored.

We always have the best conversations.

Yeah, absolutely.

And yet another good one.

Thanks for dropping in with us today.

Do you want to drop your podcast, your social...

Yes, yeah.

Not alone.

Not alone with Melissa Sue Methvin, all the platforms, YouTube, Spotify, I also my hashtag

on Instagram is Melissa, underscore gratitude.

I have my website, MelissaMethvin.com.

So yeah.

You're doing so much good in the world.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah, I appreciate it.

Until next time, underdogs.

See you then.

Hello and welcome to underdogs, bootstrappers, and game changers.

This is for those of you that are starting with nothing and using business to change their

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