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_More_Buck_Benny
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I'm Steve Kingston and Phil Harris and his orchestra.
The orchestra opens a program with one and a million from the picture of the same name.
Brain or shine, I always plan to have Sunday night supper at home.
That's one of our American customs that I wouldn't pass up for anything in the world.
And especially when supper is topped off by a great gleaming dish of jello.
Jello is certainly a swell way to end the swell day.
That famous true fruit flavor always hits the spot, because each of jello's six delicious flavors comes from fresh ripe fruits.
Whether you serve strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, or lime, you'll always appreciate jello's extra-rich fruit flavor.
But remember, jello is the only gelatin dessert that has that extra-rich fruit flavor.
So just be sure you get the real thing.
Always ask for genuine jello.
That was one and a million played by Phil Harris and his orchestra.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, we bring you that...
A whole, a whole of the men of doubt.
Oh, sure, Jack. Sure, what is it?
Well, this being the first program of the new year, I think you ought to inaugurate it by giving me a nice, friendly introduction.
Of course.
You know what I mean? I'm not too mushy, but something with a little dignity to it.
You know, I'm tired of starting out each week with a strike against me.
Why, certainly, certainly, Jack, I'll be glad to.
Thanks, John. Go ahead.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, we bring you that soul without a blemish.
Well.
That rose without a thorn.
That germ without a flaw.
That gem.
Oh, oh, yes, oh, yes, yes.
That gem without a flaw, Jack Benning.
Hello, yeah, this is Jack Benning talking, and thanks, John, for two-thirds of that introduction.
I might have known that you'd start the new year wrong.
Oh, I'm sorry, Jack, but the temptation was too great.
Oh, that's all right, John. Happy new year anyway, and may all your troubles be colossal.
Mm-hmm. The same to you, Jack. The same to you in many of them.
By the way, John, did I say happy new year?
Yes.
Well, cancel it.
Thanks, and just ignore mine.
Well, we're off to a nice, lousy start, aren't we?
But no getting down, we're still good friends, and we have had a lot of fun, haven't we?
Yes, sir, in a whole new year, we'd be just as pleasant.
We certainly have had some great times together on this program.
We sure have done.
Laughing, talking, and cutting each other's throat.
Ah, but it was great fun, isn't it?
Come in.
Is it Benny?
Yes.
I want to take this opportunity of wishing you and your company a very, very happy new year.
Well, and who are you?
I'm fine, thank you.
Goodbye.
Donna, neighborly fellow, wasn't it?
Yes, yes.
Oh, Jack, I meant to ask you, what did you do?
Hello, fellas.
Oh, hello, Mary.
And what was that done?
I meant to ask you, what did you do, New Year's Eve?
Oh, I had a pretty good time.
I was over at the Trocadero with Phil Harris.
I had a girl, too.
Did you?
Yeah, my father got her for me.
Oh.
But you should have been at the Troc, Donna, with a great night, and a very good dinner, too.
Dinner.
Ten dollars a plate.
Ten dollars a plate.
Well, what they serve.
Well, it was a real New Year's Eve dinner, including one olive, one lamb chop, one red balloon,
and a double portion of confetti.
What'd you do, New Year's Eve, Don?
Oh, nothing much, Jack.
Only exciting thing that I did was, well, at 12 o'clock, I rang in a false fire alarm.
I'd done this against the law.
Were you drinking?
No, but I just couldn't resist the big red letters on the box.
Oh.
Well, well, then that explains it.
Hello, fellas.
Hello, Mary.
Oh, wait a minute.
Didn't I say that before?
Yes.
Donna, two of my pages are stuck together.
Oh, well, tear them apart and let's get going.
What'd you do, New Year's Eve, Mary?
I had some fun.
I stayed out until 11 o'clock.
That's fine. New Year's doesn't start until 12.
Well, I wasn't going to wait all night.
Oh.
A Jack?
Yes.
I saw you and tell us the chocolate arrow.
Did it?
And say that was an off-the-cute girl Phil was with.
Yeah, that was my girl, even though she did dance with Phil all evening.
She was still my girl, officially.
I didn't feel bring a girl from south.
She didn't have to, at least that was my experience.
I see.
He gave you a watch for Christmas and you gave him your girl for New Year.
Yeah, I was tired anyway.
And Phil was so considerate, you know, he even took my girl home for me.
Now, I want to speak to him about that.
Oh, Jack, now don't start another argument.
I'm not going to.
I just want to split the cab fare with him.
After all, it was my girl.
Hey, Phil Z.
Yes, Jackie.
I see you're here right on time tonight.
How'd you get here so early?
I undersled.
Oh.
Well, anyway, Phil, I want to thank you for taking my girl home
New Year's Eve.
Oh, she was...
I mean, that was all right.
Well, I insist on paying half the cab fare.
Never mind, Jack.
She paid your half.
Well, that's all right there.
Come in.
Mr. Benny?
Yes.
I want to take this opportunity of wishing you and your company a very, very happy New Year.
Well, you said that before.
Well, this time I mean it.
Goodbye.
That's what I get for broadcasting in a hallway.
Oh, Jack, that reminds me of something.
What?
Here it is, 1937, and I forgot to write a poem about it.
Oh, did you hear that, fellas?
Oh.
Did you hear that, audience?
Oh.
Oh, it's too bad, Mary.
But I can have one in a minute.
Is there a typewriter here?
Yes, right over there, Mary.
Oh, well, go ahead and write one, Mary.
Take about an hour on it, you know.
We want a good poem.
Don't worry.
A living son always comes through.
Hmm.
Don't write it, Mary.
Don't write it.
While Mary is struggling with her latest brainchild, let me tell you about Jello.
It's the most popular dessert on the market today because it's not only inexpensive but easy to make.
It has that new extra rich, fresh fruit flavor.
And remember.
Oh, Jack, not so loud.
I'm trying to concentrate.
Pardon me, Mary.
And remember, it comes with six delicious flavors.
Strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon and lime.
How are you coming along with your poem, Mary?
Fine.
Come in.
Mr. Benny?
Yes?
I want to take this opportunity of wishing you and your company a very very...
Oh, you again?
What are you whispering about?
I'm ashamed to be on this program.
Why not play field?
I'm ashamed to be on this program.
I'm ashamed to be on this program.
I'm ashamed to be on this program.
That was...
That was under the spell of the voodoo drums played by the orchestra with Mary as a typewriter.
And conducted by Phil Harris, who got my girl but not my goat.
Phil, that was really beautiful.
Yeah, wasn't she.
I mean, the number you just played.
Oh, that's...
Yeah, I got my poem finished.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, this being going...
Uh, this...
But I want to read it.
Oh, all right. I guess we're in for it, boys.
You mind if I go out for a smoke, Jack?
No, you stay right here.
You too, Don. I've got to say.
Oh.
What's the title of your poem, Mary?
Oh, you, 1937.
Well, that sounds promising.
Go ahead.
I'm going to read it.
Oh, all right.
I guess we're in for it, boys.
You mind if I go out for a smoke, Jack?
No, you stay right here.
You too, Don.
I've got to say.
Oh.
What's the title of your poem, Mary?
That's it.
A 1937.
Oh, 1937.
Where have you been all these years?
And when did you leave heaven?
See, starting out good.
Uh, what have you in store for us?
What will the future be?
For Jack and Phil and Kenny and Don, and me, and me, and me.
You're a little selfish there, aren't you, Mary?
Well, I wrote it.
Oh, I said, I'll continue.
Uh, will all the girls still like Phil Harris?
Will Bucket Cat to Faith?
Who Carrot?
Who Carrot?
Not me, or me, or me.
Or me.
Will Wilson do our advertising about that, you know, so advertising?
Will Jack another picture make?
Or will they catch on that he's a fake?
Don't be so critical, please.
Will I sponsor, say, our friend?
Or will this new year be the end?
Hmm.
Will cutting voice sound just as rich as in 1936?
1936.
That.
Don at typewriter.
Oh.
So don't feel sad and don't feel blue.
You'll get just what's coming to you.
And happiness and sure will be for you and me.
And me and me.
And me and me.
I knew that.
Oh, you, 1937.
Well?
That's all.
I thank you.
Well, you're right.
That phone did show a little thought.
Oh, tellers, happy new year.
Foo!
Foo!
Foo!
Hello, Kenny. What's the big idea?
I brought my girl and my horn from New Year's Eve.
Oh.
Ain't the horn swell?
Yeah, it sure is.
My girl is pretty too.
You remember, Lena?
Oh, certainly.
Hello, Lena.
She wants to say happy new year to you, Jack.
Go ahead, sugar face.
Well, the same to you and many of them.
Thanks.
Hey.
Kenny, your girl.
Oh, really?
Your girl must like me, Kenny.
She comes up to see me quite often.
And she likes you and your new paramount picture
college holiday too.
Oh, did you, Lena?
Yeah.
You're a regular broken-down table.
Thanks.
So you kids were together, New Year's Eve.
Have you had any fun?
Sure.
I laughed and danced.
And one time I poured confetti down, Lena's bad.
You did?
Yeah, then she laughed and danced.
Oh, I can't eat such actions.
Hey, he's a caveman.
Oh.
He's a terror.
Without the teeth.
Well, Kenny, you got here just in time to sing your number.
Want to hear him sing, Lena?
Yeah.
Can I sit on your lap?
Sure.
Do you mind, Kenny?
No.
Hold my horn, too.
Okay.
What are you going to sing, Kenny?
A sweet heart wall from college holiday.
And I dedicated to my girl.
Is he silly, Mary?
Yeah, even Kenny doesn't deserve that.
Oh, how would you feel looking fettied on your back?
Sing, Kenny.
Oh.
Also, there are more than we two on the floor.
We'll pretend that we're all alone.
While dancing in time,
Let our hearts be in rhyme
With a melody sweet and low.
We've waited so long
For our favorite song
For the song that we call out.
So rest your head on my shoulder
While we dance a sweet heart wall.
Go your eyes and drift to paradise
And let together never fail
Until the music fades away.
The dance will be full
But if I only knew
You'd be mine when the music falls
My heart's the right hand and theme
At the end of the sweet heart wall.
At the end of a sweet heart wall.
What happened?
What happened?
Kenny, you're just saying your song.
Oh, thanks, everybody.
That was sweet heart wall.
Song by Kenny Baker, who didn't know what he was doing.
Well, that was really great, Kenny.
Consider it.
Thanks, Mr. B.
You're welcome, Mr. B.
And B and B and B.
Be quiet.
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
As our feature attraction tonight,
We are going to offer the next installment
Of our original Western cereal,
And titled Buck Benny Rise Again,
Or His Top Roll Worried.
Again, I will play the part of Sheriff Buck Benny,
As tough an ombre has ever shaved himself
With a razor back off.
And Bob Burns is listening in.
I only borrow that joke.
A baton, taxon, raton, scaton,
Latin from Manhattan.
And that's Latin.
As you may remember at the end of last week's episode,
While riding in pursuit of cactus face,
Elmer, the outlaw,
I unfortunately met with a slight accident.
That is, I fell off my horse and broke my neck.
See?
So the action of tonight's play takes place
In the cactus center, combined hospital,
General Store, and post office.
A mighty, pretty building.
This will go on immediately after the next number.
So, play something, Phil,
And give me a chance to dash over to the hospital
And jump into bed, you know?
Well, that was Laura Live from part of my English,
Played by old Peppy Herod,
Who just laid down his baton for a bottle of brandy.
He'll be following the baton any minute.
And now for our play, Bach Benny rides again.
The scene, cactus center hospital,
General Store, and post office.
I'm in bed now, folks.
Curtain, scene song.
A.
T.
B.
C.
B.
Hello?
Hospital?
Mrs. Jones is getting along fine.
Butter is 40 cents a pound, and there's no male for you.
K.
Goodbye.
Well, I guess fast killings be bird with one phone.
Oh, oh nurse, nurse, what a bed.
These are the worst springs I've ever seen.
Well, the winners have been dead too.
Fine nurse, where's my horse?
Right alongside you.
Oh, hello, poddo.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, sounds like a slight fever.
My deputy sheriff has been here yet, have they?
Nope, but I guess they'll be along soon.
Come in.
Good morning boys.
Morning!
Give me a 2 cent stamp and ice cream cornhouse buck.
Here you are. Here you are. Not so good.
Thanks, thanks. And see, that's too bad.
Too bad.
Cut the comedy, boys, and say hello to me.
Hi, you, Sheriff.
Hi, you, Sheriff.
Hi, you, Sheriff.
Three smart girls.
Oh, boys, any news on cactus face?
Well, we were out looking for him this morning
and found his clothes down by the riverbed.
The either committed suicide or took a bath.
No slightly, suicide.
He ain't the bathin' tight.
What'd you do with his suit?
We're awarein' it.
Well, boys, the next time you share a suit,
you better find one with two pair of hands.
Deputy Baker, you're disgrace running around like that.
What's the matter, nurse?
I just put my glasses on.
Better scram, boys, especially you, Baker.
Don't I get to talk about jello?
Not today, deputy.
So long, so long.
How are you feeling now, Buck?
Much better, nurse.
I'm comin' along fast.
Well, slow down.
I need the work.
OK.
Come in.
Well, hello, Daisy.
Hello, tall, dark and dead, lookin'?
Well, gal, you don't exactly look like you ought
to buy more than one dress at a time.
Come come back, I'll see.
I can't the compliment, Fox, care.
I brought you back in a fresh egg.
Thanks.
No, wait a minute, there's no eggs in this basket.
Adjust your pet hand.
Give her time, Fox.
Well, Daisy, speaking of eggs, where's your papi?
He's down at Ike Muller's saloon, gettin' boiled.
You know, Daisy or Papi's gonna get in trouble
with his actions.
I'm surprised so many punched him in the nose.
They can, it's always behind a jug.
I believe he's got somethin' there.
What's the old rascal been doin' lately?
Well, the other night when he came home,
he stood down the chimney.
No, still playin' Santa Claus, eh?
Nope, he couldn't find the door.
Well, here comes Papi now.
Well, he found that one.
Hello, Frank.
Hello, Buck.
Seems kinda funny.
You layin' down and me standin' up.
Nice rhythm, there, listen, Frank.
You put that gag over.
What the idea crashin' in here like that?
Ain't you never been in a hospital before?
I sure I was here last fall to have my tonsils
and pink elephants takin' out.
Oh, that's too bad.
Yeah, the tonsils is gone permanent.
I'm good.
Excuse me, folks, but I gotta take the sheriff's temperature.
Here, Buck, put this thermometer in your mouth.
First, those things are a fate.
A three of them this morning didn't do me a bit of good.
Well, you should've chewed them.
Now.
I think you're runnin' a little fever, Buck.
What do you laughin' at, Daisy?
Buck's fever.
Daisy, you plumb giddy today.
Who's there?
As the doctor.
Well, come in.
Hello, are you Buck Banny?
That's me.
Are you a doctor?
I'm not a fan, then, sir.
Here's my car.
Physician, surgeon, and what my patients say about me is a lot.
You see that, God?
Dr. C. F. Schmettener.
MD.
Well, what's the MD for?
MD saddle.
I see.
Well, I didn't know you were my doctor.
I've been voicing on you every morning for a week.
Oh, I thought you were makin' the bed.
It's really no matter with me, Doc.
Well, my diagnosis is...
Yeah.
...you've got acute hemorrhabiliate and serabinic concussion.
Hmm.
What does that mean, Doc?
Oh, if I knew that, I'd forgive you.
That's fine.
That is my medicine case.
Hmm, I must have left it someplace.
I didn't see it.
Well, open your mouth.
Oh, I thought so.
What's the matter, Doc?
It's nothing there.
I got quit fooling around.
I got a broken neck.
There are mufflers.
Who'll see it?
I don't need a muffler.
I'm wearing a hospital light gown.
Now, let me feel your pulse, folksy.
Give me your wrist.
There.
There.
What's the matter, Doc?
Can you stand by a shot?
Yes.
You're dead.
Goodbye.
Oh, Doctor, wait for me.
I want to ask you something.
Say, Buck, didn't that doctor look familiar to you?
Knowledge you mentioned her, Frank.
He sure did.
I think his beard was on a little crooked.
What's the name on that card?
Dr. C. F. Schmethena.
C. F.
Hmm.
That could be Cactus Face.
Sure could.
Oh, look, Buck.
The doctor gave me this note right out of the building.
He did?
Let me see it.
What does it say?
Here, ex-patient.
If you are still alive, when you read this,
I hope you'll die from the shock.
I am none other than Cactus Face Elmer.
You are right, Frank.
That was Cactus Face.
And I'm going out to get it.
You can't leave your sheriff.
You're a sick man.
I'm well enough now, and my duty comes first.
And believe me, this time I'm going to bring him back.
Send him back.
I'm sick of you.
How do you feel, partner?
Hey, let's go.
Buck, did he ride again?
What happened?
Do you really want to know?
Yes.
Then tune in next Sunday night.
Will Buck get Cactus Face?
Will he have to pay for the window?
Will it snow in New York?
Will it rain in California?
See with us next Sunday night, and you'll know.
Play, boys.
The holidays are over now, but the season for entertaining is just beginning.
You'll probably be entertaining a lot during the rest of the winter,
and here's my suggestion for one of those extra special dinners of yours
that needs an extra special dessert.
Make a marshmallow pineapple mold with jello.
It's a grand way to please all your family and guests,
and you'll be pleasing yourself at the same time,
because marshmallow pineapple mold is so easy to make.
Just dissolve a package of lime jello in one pint of hot water.
Chill until slightly second, and then first,
fold in three slices of canned pineapple diced,
and the second can finally cut marshmallows.
After that, allow this delicious combination to set,
and then you'll be ready to serve one of the most completely enjoyable desserts you've ever known.
But remember, for marshmallow pineapple mold,
always use genuine jello.
For jello and only jello brings you that extra rich, fresh fruit flavor
that makes such a hit with everyone.
Look for the big red letters on the box.
They spell jello.
This is the last number of the 14th program in the new Jello series,
and we'll be with you again next Sunday night when we continue
with Buck Benny rides again.
And even if I am a couple of days late, folks,
on behalf of the members of the company myself,
I want to wish all of you listeners a very happy and prosperous New Year.
Oh, Mary.
Yeah.
Uh, take a wire to Fred Allen, would you?
Okay.
Hey, dear Fred, I am not ashamed of myself.
When I was 10 years old, I could play flight of the bumblebee on my violin too.
And...
You're not a fellow, eh?
Sign Jack Benny.
This mystery will also be continued next week.
Yeah, that's good nightfall.
Hey, E-F-L-T-O-O.
That seems like you'll play the part of the doctor in this program,
the fear and for arrangement with Warner Brothers Studio,
the few and the pretty girls, like Emily,
is from the great ZigFell.
The Jello program reaches you over the red network
from the NBC Studios in Hollywood.
This is the National Broadcasting Company.
