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Skeery, the telemarketer, taps someone's brother who HATES telemarketers!
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Don't answer the phone, Elvis Durand.
The Elvis Durand phone tap.
All right, scary.
Michael Oppenheimer's back.
Absolutely, and I got an email from Liz who wanted to phone tap her brother Darren.
He runs this business from his cell phone.
And he hates telemarketers. He gets these calls all day.
So what better to do than to put Michael Oppenheimer
to task with Liz's brother Darren.
Here we go. Let's listen to today's phone tap.
Hello.
Aya Skneffinoon, this is Mr. Michael Oppenheimer
with Bumper Guard Auto Supply Direct.
How are you doing today, sir?
I'm great in yourself.
We have a wide array of bumper guards for your automobile.
It's a piece of rubber that goes over your bumper.
We have the bumper bully?
The bumper badger bumper guard?
You're just wasting your time right now.
I'm not interested.
But thank you very much.
Have a great day, sir.
Yes, I own two cars.
Let me tell you a little bit about the bumper bully.
The bumper bully offers you.
Listen, I'm not interested.
Thank you very much.
Have a great day.
Hello.
Kneffinoon, this is Mr. Michael Oppenheimer
for the bumper bully.
For you, the bumper bully offers an extra
while bumper protective surface as an added benefit.
And your bumper guard integrates dual reflectors
for safer night time.
Can you please take your pen?
Yes.
Click it one time and call my name off the list.
Do not call me again.
Darren's taking on my help here.
Kneffinoon, this is Mr. Michael Oppenheimer
for the blo-
As a car enthusiast.
I'm not interested.
The protector.
Stop calling me.
Stop calling me.
Sir, I told you.
Are you deaf or dumb?
Which one is it?
I spoke to you about the bumper bully.
But maybe...
Don't you, I'm not interested in any
bumper guard.
So what the f-
If the bumper bully's not your cup of tea,
maybe the bumper badger is for you.
It's better than something.
You're going to need a bumper badger
if you're not interested in your right eye.
If you call me one more f-
You understand me?
I'm interested in my business through my phone.
And your f-
Car's in my life.
I'm waiting on important business phone calls.
And you call me about a f-
Bump or Badger guard.
I don't give a f-
About either.
Don't f-
Call me.
You understand me?
Especially.
But I don't want to report you.
I'm calling to do not call us.
You understand what that means?
Spare me.
Do not call me.
The bumper badger.
Now I'm speaking.
The bumper badger's designed to attach inside your trunk in seconds.
It's for a excuse for a human being and for a failed person.
I've been in fail for over 25 years.
You simply flip it out when you park your car on the street
and flip it back when you leave.
I told you I'm not going to fail.
How does that sound?
I want you to f-
Off now.
Just $39.99 today, sir.
Where's our office located?
My office is located in Detroit.
I'm f-
Wish I was in Detroit.
If you have a New York office like to come there and kick your f-
Act now and we'll throw in the Fender Defender for free.
I want to go down.
This is Mr. Michael Lavinheimer.
Sir, for a limited time only I'll give you the rear end rubber trail.
That includes the bumper bully, the bumper badger, and the Fender Defender.
Do you get paid every time you call me?
Are there any other f-
Names on that list?
Sir, have you ever been rear-ended?
What the f-
That's a bull f-
What's going on in that?
You didn't answer my question.
Have you ever been rear-ended?
Have you ever been rear-ended?
Have you ever f-
Have you ever f-
I've got one in the front and one in the back of all three of my cars.
Now I have protection when another guy rams me from behind.
I'm so f-
Don't you have nicks?
Scratches?
Dents?
Chipped paint on your car?
Have you ever been f-
That before?
Have you ever literally walked outside your office and have someone walk up to you and beat the living f-
Out of you?
That's bad.
That's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to pay for the f-
The bumper bully!
Sir, the bumper!
Hello?
This is Mr. Michael Lavinheimer with the bumper badger, bumper bully.
The bumper badger.
How many of these would you like to purchase today?
I don't know how many of these do you like to purchase today?
You sound like you sound like you're juggling balls in your mouth.
So is it going to be the bumper badger?
Would it be the bumper badger?
It's going to be the bumper bully.
The f-
Would you like to rear-end rubber trio?
It's going to be the bumper bully.
Rubber baby buggy bumpers.
Let's take this from the top.
My name is Mr. Michael Oppenheimer.
My name is Mr. Bumper Oppenheimer.
I need protection when another man rams me from behind.
I need protection when another man rams me from behind.
Damn, my name is Scary Jones from Elvis Durant in the morning.
Show you been phone tapped.
Liz is on the phone.
Did you are such an idiot?
The Elvis Durant phone tap.
This phone tap was pre-recorded with permission granted by all participants.
The Elvis Durant phone tap only on Elvis Durant in the morning show.
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This is Ashley Akinani from the Ben and Ashley I,
almost famous podcast.
If you are ready to refresh your wardrobe for spring,
boom is one of my go-to spots.
They have the best everyday pieces.
Think really good denim, easy dresses and outfits
that you can actually wear on repeat.
Everything feels current without being over the top
and you get great quality without the high price tag.
Whether you're getting dressed for work, errands,
or weekend plans,
boom makes spring outfits feel simple.
Shopbombs, new arrivals at boom.com
that is b-o-h-m-e.com.
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Elvis Duran Phone Taps



