My Fiancé Won't Give Me Access To Any Of Our Money

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From the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio in the Ramsey Network, this is the Ramsey Show.

We are here to help you.

I'm joined by Rachel Cruz.

I'm George Campbell, open phone lines that triplate 825-5225.

Jennifer is going to kick us off in Colorado Springs.

What's going on, Jennifer?

Hi, I was calling because I wanted to know how I can save money or make money.

As a stay-at-home mom, who has no access to money.

My fiancee is the one that is in charge of all the financial aspects of our lives.

In any time I need any type of money, I have to ask for it, so that's my question.

How can I make or save money without any other form of accessing money?

I don't think that is the solution to this problem.

You know that, too.

This is a band-aid.

You have to go make money as a stay-at-home mother because he doesn't give you any access.

How long has this been going on?

It's always been on and off since I became a stay-at-home mom six years ago.

Six years?

Yes.

Goodness gracious.

Okay.

When you say he controls the finances, you have no access to the bank accounts.

No, not none whatsoever.

If I need money for groceries, for the kids, for myself, then I have to ask for it.

And it has to be the exact amount that I'm spending.

Okay.

In Jennifer, I'm sure throughout six years you have asked him for access, correct?

You have asked him for money, for access, and I've asked him for money like he was on

the loan.

What does he say?

When you're like, hey, I need access to our check-out.

I need a debit card.

I need to be able to live.

What does he say?

It's 100% no.

If I want, he can give me some sort of allowance, but 100% no access to his account.

What's causing you to stay in this relationship, besides the obvious, you guys have kids together

and everything.

But what has caused you to be in functioning like this for six years?

Honestly, I'm not too sure.

You'd be better off giving Alimony and child support, at least that's forced through

the courts, and you can do what you want with the money without having an adult chaperone.

I've heard that before.

I've been told that before.

Yeah.

You have pretty toxic relationship.

That's probably goes beyond money.

This is financial abuse.

Is it?

There's no other way to say it.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, you're two adults that are in basically a marriage.

You're not legally married, but you have kids together.

You've been together for six years.

One of you is a stay-at-home parent, and you don't have, there's no shared equity in

the household.

He doesn't trust you.

You're basically a child to him.

That's how he's functioning in the relationship.

At least the babysitter gets paid without having to ask.

This is the crazy part.

That he's made you think this is normal, and it's okay, and it's just, well, it's just

the way he is.

He's a little controlling sometimes.

His thing is, at me, asking is me telling him, but it doesn't feel that way.

It doesn't feel that way because that's not true.

I want to know from you, Jennifer, what's causing you to stay with this man?

I'm not too sure.

Okay.

Maybe the children.

Okay.

If I'm being completely honest.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, I think it's a bigger question for you, Jennifer, on what do you want life to look

like in the next two years, five years, ten years for you?

And that's a really, really scary question.

I think always because what the answer is, what I think you know what the answer is,

is going to mean a lot of hard and new change in your life.

And so, if I were you, hold on to your kids.

Six, four, and one.

Oh, gosh.

Okay.

Okay.

If I woke up in your shoes, yes, you're going to need money to be able to get out.

And so, I would start looking probably today.

When here's the horrible thing, is, is if he finds out, what's he going to say?

Does he tell you to go get a job?

Is he like, you need to go make your own money, or would he, what would his response be for

you having a job?

Oh, no, no, no hesitation.

He says, if you want to get a job, go ahead, that's, it doesn't bother me.

The only thing is you'd have to pay for childcare because you're the one that wants the job.

Oh, whoa, whoa, so you have to get a job and pay for childcare on your own because that

was your decision.

This man is insane.

Do you hear yourself?

I do.

Does he abuse you just verbally and emotionally, or is there more?

No, there is it more.

Well, there's enough where that came from.

Well, so yeah, you're going to, I would be finding a way to make money, Jennifer.

You need to set up your own checking account, and you need to have a plan on what it's

just like to get out of this relationship.

Depending on the state, there's some type of common law marriage, you know, depending

on, and I think it's state by state, but even if you decided to leave in some states,

I don't know Colorado's laws, that you actually, it could be seen as a, basically, a common

law marriage.

You'd be entitled to assets.

Yes.

You could actually go through proceedings and get something, right?

If you guys have a house together, cars, checking account, retirement accounts, all of

it.

So I would look into that kind of thing.

If leaving, which is what, either this needs to be fixed on a radical level, which you

can't fix him, but either the relationship has to have a complete 180 of full repentance

and him pleading for your forgiveness because of what he's done to you, horrible, terrible,

or you're going to have to make a better decision for yourself, Jennifer, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So yeah, I would be opening up my own checking account if there's a way to work from home

for a little bit and get an income in, and raise some stability, and then whatever that

next move is for you, at least that gives you a pad to step out on, so you're not just

drowning with no money, right?

Having some resources is going to be helpful.

Yeah.

Do you have any friends, family, church that could help support you through this?

I do, but it's something I don't wish to, you may have to burden on them.

No, it's not a burden.

You're not a burden.

If they love you, they will be so happy that you ask for help in your time of need.

Yeah, this would be the time to get as many resources as possible around you, Jennifer.

And you believe lies too long that you are a burden that no one else has to deal with

this.

It's just my burden to bear, and it's all lies that he's put in your mind.

Yeah.

And you believe them for so long that you don't know another way.

You don't know another life, but I think you deserve better, don't you?

I totally do.

I totally think I deserve better, and I think that's another reason why I haven't stepped

out is because I will literally walk out with what I have on my back.

Yeah.

And that's where friends, family, and community really step up too.

Right.

So I would be leaning into those conversations, and I would start thinking of who you want

to be, Jennifer.

I mean, honestly, when you look at just the world and which you can contribute from a career

perspective, it's going to be huge.

And Ken's book, Find the Work Your Wire, Today, we're going to give you a copy of that.

Just to get your mind to those wheels start to turn, because if you have not been in

the workforce for an extended period of time, so don't you forget, I'm like, okay,

what do I enjoy?

What am I passionate about?

How can I help?

But that's a really big answer to a really urgent problem, though.

So here, the urgency in us that this relationship is pretty damaged, and you don't need to be

a part of it if it continues down the road like this.

Dave, we got a lot of calls on this show where life happens.

One day someone's healthy, they're working, providing for their family, and then a curveball

hits.

We heard all the time, a car accident, a cancer diagnosis, a heart attack, and suddenly,

everything changes.

Yeah.

And that's why you've always said that having term life insurance from Xander is essential,

because it protects your family if the worst happens.

Yeah, that's right.

You need 10 to 12 times your income, in coverage, no gimmicks, no whole life junk, just

straight forward term life protection.

But there's another piece that people often overlook, and that's long term disability

insurance.

Yeah, it's important to understand the difference between them.

Life insurance steps in when you die.

Disability insurance steps in while you're alive, but can't work.

So it replaces a large part of your income, so the bills still get paid while you get

back on your feet.

Now, if your employer gives you free disability insurance, great, take it.

If it's discounted there at a better price, take it.

But if not, Xander can help you find the right plan.

So you're single or married, it's not optional.

If you're going to be out of work for a while, then you need to make sure the money is still

showing up.

And that's why Xander is our go-to.

They make it super simple to get the right coverage at the best price, no pressure, no

upselling.

I've trusted Jeff Xander and Xander insurance for over 25 years, and so is my family.

So don't wait.

It's fast, it's easy, and they could make all the difference.

Go to Xander.com or call 800-356-4282.

Select yourself, protect your income, protect your family.

CJ's in Phoenix up next.

Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

CJ, how can we help?

Yes, hi, I'm Dylan, thank you for hosting me.

I wanted to get your input in ways to get out of my debt with the credit cards, student

loans, and a card loan.

And my house payment, I think when I first got the house, I was making a certain amount

of money, and I thought it was a good idea to get this two-story house.

But, per paycheck, it's been the house payment, what I paid to escrow, it's a whole check.

So it's half your income?

Half my income, yes sir.

Your take on pay.

Okay.

My take on pay.

What do you make?

I make before taxes, about 103,000.

Okay.

Are you single?

I'm married.

Married?

Okay, is your spouse working outside of the home or at home?

She, we just, she just had a baby, so she's not working currently.

Congrats.

That's exciting.

Thank you.

Okay.

What's your total debt?

My total debt with the house payment, I want to say, not including the mortgage.

Just give us the consumer mortgage.

You said, car loan, credit card, student loans, about 110,000.

How much is the car loan?

The car loan is only 5,000, the bigger one is the credit card and the student loans.

What does this break out to be?

How much of the student loans?

The student loan is about 40,000 on the government one and 5,000 are taxes loan, I think that's

the padded one.

Okay.

And the credit card comes out to be all together about 60,000.

60,000?

How many credit cards do you have?

About 5,000 between 5,000 to 60,000.

Okay.

Well, what did the 60K get spent on the credit cards and like over what period of time was

this?

It's been over the last, I want to say about year and a half where I got the clinical

coordinator position, not that the pay, I came home as a full-time nurse and to get

this position and I was doing a travel assignment.

So I was getting paid more.

So that's how I thought in a mind that I was just going to stay together for a good amount

of time traveling that we had our first kid and that was, you know, half of home.

So your income went down, but you're spending state high.

The lifestyle craved never went away and so you were just spending on the cards.

So the house payment was taken, you know, the one payment and to, you know, as it may

end up stuff.

Speak directly in your phone, ZJ.

We're having a hard time hearing you.

Oh, sorry.

Okay.

So once the house paid, once I came full time and the house payment was half of what, you

know, half of one take, one check per month, that's when I was, you know, I'll put it on

the card and hopefully I'll, you know, be able to pay it and it was just putting the

mortgage on the card and not the mortgage, it was just everything else was on the card.

Okay.

Yes.

Oh, because you spent one full paycheck on the mortgage and then anything else, I just

went on the card.

Yes, ma'am.

Okay.

Are you and your wife ready to have a very different life?

Yes, sir.

We talked about it and we always listen to the show and we always just talk about we

need to do better and the, with the credit cards, most of them are through, through Chase

Pink and I did call to tell them that I can't pay anymore.

So they put me on the plan.

But even with that is about just chase alone is about 1200 that I'm paying.

Okay.

With everything, CJ, with, with, you're paid twice a month.

With the mortgage, the credit card bills, your regular utilities, I mean, everything.

I'm assuming you're coming up short every month.

If you say current with all of your debt, I do come short.

I did pick up this year.

I did pick up a home health job, which usually it's about $400, $500 more per month.

And that gives me the ability like that 500 to pay what you need to say to keep your

head above water to, but that's it though.

There's nothing extra to be throwing out the set to get out of it.

It's just, that's just to pay the mental payments.

Yes, man.

That, that's, it just month to month and, you know, it's, how many hours are you doing

that extra job?

That's per patient.

Okay.

Right now it, I have about three, four patients.

Sometimes I'll tell them my days off and they'll try to give me, you know, PRN jobs to

just go see a patient, but they don't come often.

It's just, it's not reliable.

Yeah.

So, I mean, that's a good thing to have because I feel like it pays well, but I would have

another side hustle because, yes, CJ, it's something, it's, it's got a ship from the

income perspective.

I think you guys need to cut your lifestyle if you haven't already.

Yeah.

No eating out, not no investing, no saving.

All we're doing is trying to pay down the smallest debt.

So take that smallest credit card that you have and we're going to knock that out.

Or if it's the car loan, that's the smallest debt or the student loan.

We're knocking that balance out first and make minimums on the rest.

So we're going to try to stay current on all the bills and throw extra at the smallest

debt we have.

That's called the debt snowball method.

It'll either be that $5,000 private student loan or your $5,000 car or if there's a,

if there's a credit card smaller than $5,000, you're going to attack that first.

Okay.

Is there anything you could sell to come up with some cash to speed this up?

Everything else we would, I've looked at it would just be just the most of, uh,

okay, but you know, it's what is the car worth?

You said you owe five on it.

What is it worth?

It's worth about 3,000.

Oh, but the mile is it to, I have, I think right now it's about a hundred and

fifty five thousand miles on it.

Okay.

Um, how long ago did your wife have the baby?

Uh, a couple of months ago.

Okay.

You know, I would have a goal for you guys because again, $500 a month shifts,

you know, you guys, it, it, it's so helpful.

So I'm thinking for her, what could she do from home to make $500 a month?

And that could include selling stuff.

She could make a part-time job of selling your shoes, CJ, making some money, you know,

but for real, like what, what, what can she do?

And she doesn't have to start today, but maybe you guys look up and say, okay,

you're going to start working CJ extra.

You're cutting lifestyle and then we're going to look up and I don't know,

making this up June.

She's going to start doing something through the end of the year, bringing home

an extra five to a thousand, five hundred to a thousand dollars.

Like I think as much income as you guys can get in rolling in, which is going

to be exhausting, it's going to be so hard, it's so frustrating.

But that's going to make you guys get out of debt that much faster because it's

not fun, right?

During this process of sacrifice, but you guys either have to do it really

intensely and just go all in or you kind of just dabble around the edges and

you guys will keep it around for another four to five years.

Because here's the truth.

If we continue with this pace and you can only throw a hundred or two hundred

bucks of this debt, you're going to be in debt for the rest of your life.

And so that's why we're saying six figure debt, you need a massive six figure

income to pay this off in a reasonable amount of time, two, three, four years.

That's the goal here of intense sacrifice, not 20 years of just trying to make

our way through and make the minimum payments while the interest racks up.

So that's why we want you to have a sense of urgency to get this income up.

And you've got a lot of skills that are very valuable.

And so if you can go make a hundred 50 grand, 200 grand, and she makes another 50

grand, even if the kids are in daycare for a season, they will survive the goals

for you guys to get above water here.

Okay, so getting our income up that's the getting expenses down as much as we can.

But even then your income has to go up in order to knock this out quickly.

Yes, sir.

So hang on the line, CJ, I'm going to send you a copy of my book,

Breaking Free from Broke, along with every dollar.

That's our budgeting tool.

And you and your wife tonight, you're going to lay out.

Here's our next paychecks.

Here's all of our expenses.

Here's our plan to make the most of every dollar.

Yeah.

And we always caution against moving.

I mean, honest, because it's such a big expense.

It's like one of the biggest things to operate your family out of a home.

But I would consider it's half of your income.

And unless your main job, you're going to see significant raises in the next one,

two, three years, if there's not, and it's looking pretty plateau.

I mean, godly, that's an extra $2,000.

If you get it under that, to that 24, that 25%.

That's an extra two grand a month that you're, you know, that you could save.

If you guys changed your housing situation, which I know is, that's a big ask.

But it changes the whole timeline.

You guys can become homeowners again, once for not broke, but right now,

well, that 50% mortgage, it's even your lunch and hurting your ability to pay down the debt.

So hang on the line, CJ, we're going to get you those resources.

We'll wish you guys the best with this debt payoff.

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Up next we've got Joseph in Alpazo, Texas. What's going on Joseph?

Hi, how's it going?

Great. How can Rachel and I help today?

All right, so I have a question. Well, I guess a loaded question regarding a whole life insurance policy that I took out. I think that's what it's called. Okay, I took it out when I was 19.

I'm 22 now, so it's been. I would say two years and a half, almost three years from the three years in June, and I've put in a lot of money into it and I've read a lot of stuff online.

And just, you know, gone back and forth and I've gotten like sort of scared that I could have done something a lot better with my retirement with my future and whatnot.

How much have you put in so far? You said a lot of money. What does that mean?

So I in total with payments and everything I've put in 21,000.

And right now there's like the surrender charge of like four grand or something like that that will go away to zero in like a couple of years.

That's how they like it. They want to keep you on the hook and go, man, if you just hang on this thing, you got to really ride it out.

Who sold this policy to you? It was someone you knew, right?

Yeah, so my mom was in the business of selling it, but it wasn't her like she left this. She's now doing something else, but one of her close friends, you know, you know, talked to me about it.

And I mean, it all sounds good and all. I got one that has that's for 300,000 with long term care in it.

I had a lot of like medical problems growing up.

And so some of them still looked like me to this day. So I kind of like just made a decision like I want to protect myself.

And in the case that I get hurt, you know, I have that like long term care available to me.

So yeah, I am currently on path to go to medical school and hoping to start this summer, assuming everything goes well, if not, you know, reapplying this summer.

But yeah, that's, that's where I'm at at the moment.

Okay. Well, I'll give you kudos of doing something. You know, there's some 19 year olds that don't do anything financially.

So the fact that you are at least looking thinking about even like long term care insurance, which we usually don't tell people they need till they're 60.

Yeah. But they often, but they sold you a pack of goods, Joseph. And yeah, you, and you bought it. And so the good news is you're only 22.

So I know it feels like, oh my gosh, I blew 21,000 dollars, which is a lot of money. But in the grand scheme, a lot of people hang on to these policies for a decade or two.

And then go, oh my gosh, I need to get out of this. So yes, it was a bad idea. No, you don't need to feel shame. This happens every day from, you know, to well meeting people from close family friends that are looking to make a commission off your back.

Because the truth is you don't need life insurance unless someone is depending on your income. So do you have kids or a wife?

No, you know, hopefully not at least for another couple of years.

I think it's going to be a couple of stressful in school and whatnot. So I'm with my parents at the moment.

Okay. Yeah. So you really don't need life insurance, Joseph, at all.

And if you want to get term life in place and then cancel the whole life policy, surrender it.

And don't listen to whatever they say on the phone. They're going to say, no, no, you need to keep it. Here's why it's a really good idea to hang on to this.

You just need to firmly say, no, thank you. I want to surrender the policy.

And then you can start investing, Joseph. Right. That's really where you're going to find lots of growth with your money, not in a whole life policy.

Basically bundles insurance and investing together in one account with a crappy rate of return versus keeping it separate.

So getting term life that has no investments attached to it. It's literally just a term policy at 20, 30, 40 year, whatever you choose.

But you don't need one. And then you can look at investing and investing.

What your money will do just even in an index fund or a mutual fund is going to be probably what six, seven times X, what you'll probably get in a standard whole life policy.

The growth. So instead of 2% return, it could be 12% or more.

And so I would get out of this thing ASAP, get term life if you feel like you want it or need it. It's going to be a fraction of the price.

You know, whole life is 5 to 15 times more expensive than term. And so I would contact our friends at Xander. They can help you out.

You can jump on to Xander.com or give them a call 800, 356, 42, 82. And they'll help walk you through that.

And I hope you qualify. You said you have some health issues. So I don't know what bearing that's going to have on, you know, the underwriting for your life insurance policy.

But if you're worried about this becoming a problem in the future, it is wise to get your term life now and get it for a longer period like 25 years.

If you know, hey, I'll be, you know, almost 50 by the time this policy expires, which means the kids are out of the house.

My spouse is going to be OK. You've been investing for 25 years. So you'll be fine at that point. You don't need it for your whole life.

Would it be a good idea for me to wait until that surrender charge go away?

Just, it's a sunk cost fallacy. I would just go, all right, I'm going to pay whatever I need to pay for the penalty and move on with my life.

You'll get the cash value out, which I don't know what that will be. You can do the math and figure that out. But just take what you can and move on with your life.

I wouldn't hang on to it for another day.

Gotcha. OK. Yeah, it's just, I don't know. I guess it sounded real nice. I mean, they showed me like a bunch of like returns like I knew.

Yeah, I would do if I was selling whole life insurance. I would make it look like the best things and slice bread. But the truth is, as you found online, literally no financial advisor with, you know, that isn't just secretly an insurance salesman would say this is a good idea for a 19 year old.

It's a horrible product and almost everyone in the financial space knows that except for people that sell it. So.

And they go by sketchy names like I'm a wealth strategist and they're secretly just whole life insurance sales people. So just I know it sounded good.

And they mix up the names of a universal that they have all the index universal life. And then they have like whiteboards with a draw.

Yep. And you're going to basically become your own bank and you can take your own money out tax-free by taking out a loan against your policy and paying yourself the interest. That's what the wealthy do. Don't listen to any of this crap.

Now. So I'm sorry you fell for it, my man. Brody is in Lexington, Kentucky. Up next. What's going on, Brody?

Hey, George Rachel. Thank you guys so much for taking my call. Sure. What's your question?

So my question is me and my wife have had our we've had a car that's overheating at this point. It looks like it's going to cost more to fix it than the car is actually worse.

And we're wondering if you guys would recommend what's the wisest financial decision, whether it's there's just sell it or whether it's to try and trade it into your dealership or what the best option would be in this case.

So what's the car worth and what's the repair going to cost?

I think it's worth according to the private sale and Kelly Bluebook. It's somewhere in the realm of 4,000.

It is like the value, but the way it's overheating right now, it's barely drivable. So I don't know if we'd be able to sell it for hardly, if we're even that.

So 4,000 if it's in good shape, it's still running properly.

Yes. Okay. Have you got quotes from multiple mechanics?

We have not we actually tried reaching out to a couple of other mechanics other than the one that we've had it at for like a few months and most of the mechanics said they don't work on all those they recommended the mechanic we already had it at.

Okay. What did they say their repair costs will be?

6,900 roughly goodness gracious man. Do you guys have any money saved that you could use to buy something else?

We do we have we have over 40,000 all of our counts together. So we could we could buy another vehicle. We're just trying to figure out how to minimize our losses on this one.

I mean, I think it's going to be one of those the dealership buys it for scraps and they give you a thousand bucks.

Okay. That's the truth. If it really is a $7,000 repair. I know that's why I love a second opinion. If you can find one, I know that you may I know you guys have tried.

Yeah, there's probably other mechanics that specialize in all those in European vehicles. And so you might need to find I would at least get one more before you give up on it.

But at that point, buy a reasonable car. Make sure that all the vehicles in your life are less than half of your annual income.

Pay cash. Don't get hosed. Don't buy brand new. So what are you thinking of buying?

Yeah. So we haven't really thought much about about what we're buying next. I mean, we like old Toyota's just because they've had a better track record for our family.

That's a good choice. Yeah. And check out, yeah, Christian automotive brothers, Christian brothers, because they do they're they're a great.

Oh, yes, you get one area reach out to them for sure. But good luck with this man cars are just one of those things and it's they depreciate they things go wrong.

So I would just do the best with what you got and you got plenty of money. So this is a solvable problem and grieve the car. Say goodbye.

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Pam is in Columbia, South Carolina up next. Pam, welcome to the show.

Hello. Hey, how can we help?

Well, I currently work 70 hours a week, making 83,000 total with 61,000 of that being my full time job.

And I have been offered a position for 108,000 dollars as the full time position.

My dilemma is my full time job did pay for my student loans.

And I would owe my full time employer $5,250 at departure.

All right. And I don't have $5,250.

How much do you have?

I'm just kind of wondering a way to navigate that. Well, they would keep my last paycheck, which would be around 2000.

And then other than that, I have $1,000 for the emergency fund and have $1,600 set aside because I'm speaking out of conference.

So that's your travel lodging all of that.

Well, I'm wondering, would your new employer be willing to cover the gap almost like a sign on bonus if you explain this to them?

Yeah, that I don't know. I don't consider that option.

I would reach out and do it very kindly and just say, hey, I'm really excited about this position.

There's one snafu. When I leave this employer, I owe them this much money because of the student loan payoff.

Is this something that you guys would be willing to cover as part of this new job?

Okay. And just see what they say.

Is it going to be $3,000? Is that what you said? That you'll be left after your paycheck?

Yeah. They're whittled over $3,000.

Yeah. Are you relocating for this position?

No.

Okay.

Well, and the 1600 is not till May.

And you could, if you need help.

Yeah. And if the employer, the new employer, if you ask them, and they're not comfortable with $3,000, you could say, you don't even $2,000.

I would throw any cash I had to get out because you can build that back up pretty quick with this new salary.

Okay.

Yeah. The only thing I thought about with the 1600 is like, how am I going to cover my bills with them keeping my last paycheck?

I was thinking that too.

How are you going to flow that position?

Because it'll be about three weeks between paychecks because they're on a different pay week than what I'm currently.

Okay. Yeah. Well, you'll need that buffer too, for sure.

I would hang on to it because I don't want you going into debt over this.

Yeah.

The goal is to just try to cash flow it.

Can you talk to your current employer about basically paying it back by a certain date, even after you're gone?

I'm given 30 days after departure is what the contract says.

Okay. Great. And is your new employer okay with a later start date?

Because that's the other option as you go ahead, can't start until this.

With that.

Okay. I mean, I would explain to them and say, hey, either I have to start at this later date so I can pay this off.

Or if you guys could cover the difference, I can start earlier.

Yeah, I would definitely be willing to open that conversation because I don't want to go into debt.

I've been working really hard to get out of debt.

Yeah.

But the idea of making that much more money to be able to get out of debt is stressful.

And it's part of these employer benefits.

Sometimes there are strings attached where they go, well, I don't want to cover your student loans and you just leave us immediately, which is kind of what's happening here.

So that's why they have these rules in place.

Yeah.

But you get this new great income.

I think you're going to pay your debt off in no time.

And remember, do not allow lifestyle creep to happen with your new salary.

You're going, wow, I can afford more now.

No, we're going to use all of this to attack our debt and actually build some wealth for our life.

Thanks for the call.

Sam is in Los Angeles up next.

Sam, what's going on?

Hi, I'm calling because I'm trying to see if I should move to another city that has a cheaper cost of living.

In order to afford my own place, flash, is it smart for me to get my own place as a, I'm single.

And so I'm just trying to figure out what the smartest thing for me to do.

Yeah, I would say it's less about your marital status and more about financially where you are when it comes to buying a home.

Are you, do you have consumer debt?

I have no debt.

Thanks, you guys.

Good for you.

That's great.

And I recently paid off my mom's parent plus loan that she took out for me.

Oh my gosh.

Sam, well done.

That's amazing.

Thanks for you guys.

Yeah.

Well, that's amazing.

Do you have money saved up for a down payment?

Yes, I have money saved up for a down payment as well as a three to like five months emergency fund because I do work in TV and film.

So as we know, it's like an unpredictable industry.

How much do you have saved for the down payment?

I have 65,000 and then another 10,000 for a clothing cost.

Awesome.

Okay.

And you're in the LA area currently?

Yes.

So you're looking at housing prices and you're just thinking, oh my gosh, this is.

It's a million dollars for a starter home that I need to do a renovation on.

Yeah.

And a lot of my friends who did buy are like kind of giving me the real deal about it about like being house poor and then the industry slowing down here as well.

Yeah.

So it's catching up to.

That is a real fear.

Well, could you even move to another state and still do your job?

I can.

I was looking at Vegas because I do have some family there and then the commute since I do go there often to visit.

It's not as bad.

But I also like for the past five years have for the like four or five months.

I've worked out of the country on other projects.

Oh, nice.

And I rent.

So that's why I'm really looking to buy because I've.

Literally paid rent while I wasn't even there because I couldn't rent it out.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, even doing a short term rental while you're in and out, that's still going to be a different headache.

And so it's going to be difficult either way.

But I understand wanting to have your own place.

What are you paying for rent right now?

I've made $22.50 not increasing utilities.

Okay.

And what do you make in general on an average year?

For the past five years, I made about like 150 to last year, I made $2.30, but I am self-employed.

So that is no taxes taken out yet.

Oh, so you got to pay the quarterly taxes out of that.

Correct.

Okay.

So that's your gross income.

Well, you have a great income.

Yeah.

And truthfully, I think you're not going to be able to get a mortgage for $22.50 right now based on the numbers that you've given us.

You know, putting 65 grand down on a million dollar home is going to be a massive mortgage.

And so I would just wait and keep saving, keep renting.

And down the road, if you're still like, hey, I really want my own place, you might need to go further out.

But again, that's going to be a longer commute if you're way out of LA area that you're going to have to deal with.

So it's just you're trading one problem for another and you just have to make peace with that.

Yeah.

Or you said Sam option three is just moving to a completely different area and seeing, you know, you own your own business, seeing how you can keep it afloat.

Because it sounds like you're great at it, right?

So if there's ways to still do that and live somewhere cheaper, that's the best of both worlds, in my opinion.

Because yeah, we talked to a lot of people that end up leaving, whether it's, you know, the New York area, California, just because of cost of living.

I would rather live somewhere and have margin financially to be able to do things and have fun than, yep, be house poor.

Just to live in this one specific area, you know, and I just think people have family and friends in a life that they've built in an area.

But at the end of the day, it is kind of like, hey, what what is going to create a level of peace for me?

And I think a lot of people have made a decision to leave to a more affordable cost of living area.

I mean, even the taxes alone, you're probably taking home half of that, right?

Yeah, it's super, it's been really, really expensive being here.

And it's not even the cost of living to.

It's just like, I've been here for 10 years and every time I come back after a job, it doesn't feel like home.

So that's another reason why I looked at other places.

Yeah, I mean, even if you take a pay cut and your quality of life is higher and you can afford a house, that might be a better life.

Even if I mean switching your job or career field, I think your skills will transfer, especially as a small business owner.

So it's a big decision. We can't tell you exactly what to do, but I hope we gave you some questions to be asking and some insights.

Thanks for the call.

Thanks for the call.

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Welcome back to the Ramsey show in the Fairwinds Credit Union studio.

I'm George Campbell joined by my co-host Rachel Cruz, also my co-host on Smart Money Happy Hour. You can catch all of that on the Ramsey Network.

We've got Sarah up next in Orlando, Florida. What's going on, Sarah?

Hi, I am struggling with my husband lying to me financially. I've been struggling with this for about two years.

And I'm just wanting some advice on how to fix this.

Oh gosh, Sarah. What's he, you said he's lying about your money? What's what's an example of that? What does that mean?

So I first found out it out that he'd been lying in our whole marriage a couple of years ago.

He had a large chunk of money from the sale of a house that he had put into work. He told me he put into a high yield savings account.

And when we got to the point of talking about buying a house, it came out that he had been completely lying about it.

He'd spent all the money. And I still don't know where he spent all that money.

There are other times where we'll put money in the safe as a savings account, just in case of emergencies.

And I went in there one day last March to get some money out to pay a bill. And the money was gone.

And it's kind of things like this that are consistently happening.

And what does he say when you confront him? Where does he say the money went?

Sometimes the $70,000 I'm not sure where it went even to this day.

But for the other stuff, he says that it goes to, you know, if I'm out of town for work, he says that he went and spent it eating out.

Or he went and just bought some random stuff that we don't really need that he's not really going to use.

Have you seen said stuff? Is there actual proof of the things he's saying he's purchasing?

Yes, like I see the receipts from where he's gone out to eat.

And you know, he brought home a guitar and tried to play it for two weeks and then stopped playing it and now it's just sitting in the closet.

Okay. Well, there's a few layers to this. And I don't know if there's something more nefarious happening behind the scenes.

Yeah, there's financial infidelity. Is there actual infidelity? Is there an addiction? Is there gambling?

There's so much we don't know because he's not being fully transparent. And that is the only solution.

There's the only hope for this marriage is him coming totally clean because right now you can't trust him.

Because usually Sarah, if there is a level of deceit financially, not always, but more than half the time there's something else happening on the other side of that door.

You don't just blow 70 grand on some toys.

Yeah. And I don't know what that is, what that looks like. But my my fear is his character is proving out to be that he lies.

He's a liar. He doesn't keep his word. And if he's lying about one area of life.

Again, I pray it's not the case, but there's a good chance there's other things going on.

And so I would, for your sake of the marriage, to keep the marriage at all intact, you guys need to sit down with a really, really good marriage therapist or counselor.

And start hashing out again, it's not just that it's not just the money piece. This always goes deeper.

This is always, it's usually never a money issue. It usually starts to show itself as a marriage issue.

And that's what this is. This is a man who has to make a decision on whether he's going to choose to rebuild trust with his wife, Sarah.

And you guys will create a roadmap over a long process of that healing journey for you to be able to trust him again.

Or if the patterns continue, I don't know how you stay married to someone that continues to lie to you.

And that's the hard thing because in a lot of ways, he's great. He helps out around the home.

He is very encouraging and spiritually, you know, I don't really believe in divorce.

And so it's hard because our whole lives are intertwined.

You know, we go to church together like I want to be led by a godly man.

You're not Sarah. Sarah, you're not. You're not.

He took $70,000, Sarah, and lied about it.

You guys have a agreement that you're going to put money over here and he chooses to be a selfish child and go by a freaking guitar.

Do you know what I'm saying? It's pretty glaring and I don't trust him.

And so, no, that's not a man who leads you spiritually, Sarah.

No, you can't put a spiritual umbrella over this. This is wrong. This is wrong.

Okay.

And I was sorry, I don't mean to be harsh about it.

No, that's something that I need to hear.

Yeah, I mean, it's just, and we're a third party that doesn't know you from Adam.

So when you give us information that you've been used to holding, it's become normalized to you.

But you say it to us and we're like, no.

And again, I don't think he's a bad guy. I'm not saying he like has a double life or something.

And he can be a good guy in a lot of other ways.

Yes.

But it doesn't matter if you can't trust him.

You understand that's the root of this whole thing.

And I'm sure he's a hard worker and he goes to church.

He can check all the boxes.

But if you can't trust him and he constantly lies to you, there is no relationship here.

And so I'm starting today, I'd say, hey, I'm a joint owner on every single bank account, every account in our life.

And if you say no to that, we can't move forward.

Yeah. And it's a spectrum here, Sarah.

Again, we jump probably to the dramatic, because we do the show for a living.

So I feel like we hear some of the craziest stories.

So yes, it could be that he's just sloppy with money.

He's irresponsible.

He's immature about it and needs to grow up.

That's the best case scenario.

You know what I mean?

But he needs to understand the seriousness of this.

Because if you want to talk scripture, I can throw a lot of money scriptures at you that actually depict what your heart and character are.

It's how a reflection of money and how you handle money.

And so it's, yeah, he needs to step up and be a man.

And if he can't own this or understand the seriousness of what he has eroded in your marriage, trust wise.

If he brushes it off and goes, well, you know, I just, I bought some toys while you were out of town, my bad.

That's not enough.

Yeah. And you too, Sarah, you know, on your end, you've got to decide what, if it's that serious to you.

And it may not be.

You may get off this call and be like, I can function in this for the rest of my life.

And you may choose to.

I don't know, because it's the harder work to not sweep things under the rug and actually to pull the rug out and deal with the crap that's sitting right there.

That's, but that's marriage work.

Like, that's the hard work in marriage.

It's so much easier to be like, it's not a big deal.

I'm going to just justify it over here because he is a good guy and we're going to, and then that's the level of marriage you're going to have.

But if you guys want to do the work to dig deep or not only financially, can you be healed?

But I think you'll have a much healthier, real, honest, authentic relationship in your marriage as well, which is probably the ultimate goal, you know?

Absolutely.

Yeah.

We're hoping for healing for you, but you've got some hard work ahead of you.

And it's red flags.

So here I say that.

And how he reacts is going to be very telling.

Yes.

And I love the quote when someone shows you who they are, believe them.

And so the more he shows you that he can't be trusted, the more you have to realize he's just not a trustworthy person, and I can't change him.

And therefore, I am not safe in this relationship.

That's it.

That's the hard truth.

And I hope you guys have some good counseling and church family that can help support you through this.

I hope there's healing and redemption on the other side.

Get some healthy spiritual Christian people around you.

Healthy.

Healthy.

Bring it all into the light.

That's the path forward.

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Thanks for watching.

Hope is on the line and Albuquerque.

What's going on?

Thank you so much for taking my call.

I'm excited to have you guys because my question is regarding the Tesla.

Yes.

You called the right people today.

Because if they were on air, he would have hung up on you.

Call my back when you want to buy a real car.

Two Tesla drivers.

Okay.

What's the question?

I'm probably going to say yes.

I hope we can.

So my husband and I were get three.

We both work in the trades and we make about seven and a half came mom.

So I don't know what that is.

You're late.

I'm not that great.

Is that your take home pay?

Yeah.

Okay.

Great.

So that's coming out to about 90 grand.

Okay.

Perfect.

So, but we are 21 and we're newly married.

And we don't need the car necessarily.

All of our cars are paid off.

I tried to do the calculations of what our cars are worth.

Mine is about five, but my husband is different.

And I can explain that.

He drives a 1996 Range Rover.

So we're all old.

But he knows how to fix cars.

Oh, my gosh.

It's a nightmare.

No.

No.

But he's a sentimental thing for him.

He bought it from his parents for 40 grand.

But similar models have sold for much higher at auction.

So I don't know how to calculate that word.

So therefore, I'm not sure if it's wise for us to buy a Tesla.

Because we're not getting rid of either of our cars.

Well, let's say you kept them and let's say his car is a 1996.

Can we call it, you know, on the low side of the auction?

Yeah, we could.

I think the last two that I saw were about 25 grand.

Okay.

So we'll say you have 30 grand worth of vehicles right now.

And we base it off of your gross household income,

which is going to be more than that 90.

So it's probably more like 120 is what you guys are, you know,

so how much is this Tesla going to cost?

So we were thinking maybe 15 to 20,

and we don't have the money right now that I want to spend on it.

So we're going to wait until maybe December.

Okay.

Till you all say that.

Do you guys have any consumer debt?

No, no consumer debt.

We just have our mortgage.

We bought our house in August.

So we have about two hundred seventeen thousand on that.

Okay.

What kind of Tesla are you thinking?

You know, that's up to him.

I have no idea.

I don't understand the difference.

Is he going to be driving it mostly?

Yes.

His car is the older one, mine's 2012.

So this will be his daily driver.

And he'll keep the 1996 Range Rover is kind of just sentimental value.

Weekend driving.

Exactly.

Okay.

Well, this is all reasonable so far.

You're paying cash.

Yeah.

It's not more than half of your annual household income.

You're doing it all the right way.

You guys have an emergency fund, right?

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Yep.

We have six months.

Yeah.

I would be okay with it.

I mean, yeah.

I think that's part of this baby steps four, five, and six.

But make sure you're investing in retirement.

You know, you're doing all the baseline stuff.

You're being generous.

You're giving.

You guys have your consistent investments going for retirement.

But yeah, if you guys want to save up and...

And you're buying used.

So that's the goal.

Mm-hmm.

I use pay cash.

Not more than half of your annual income.

Oh, hope.

I love when we get to say yes to...

It's been doing purchase.

I know.

I love it so much.

Usually it's some dude going, oh, I want to save on gas.

So can I spend $50,000 and take out a loan to get a Tesla?

The answer is no.

Brad.

So thank you for giving us hope in America.

I know.

That's great.

That's a fun one.

Okay.

So this is in DC up next.

Courtney, welcome to the show.

Hi.

I'm really excited to be here.

Thanks, guys.

Yeah.

Good to have you.

How can we help?

So, yes.

So my question is, I recently just came into making both $10.99 income

and W2 income.

And I am just having a little bit of trouble figuring out

if I should be doing like seeing an LLC to help myself save money.

And if I should be doing this self employment retirement plan

and ever reduce my taxes, my goal is just to save as much money as possible.

So I'm just kind of out of beginners.

How much are you making at both your full time job and then your $10.99?

So the total household income my wife and I makes between $1060,000 and $1097,000?

Okay.

So $10.99 specifically is just me.

That's between $25,000 and $37,000.

Okay.

So you make $37,000.

Plus with my WCU money, but yeah, which was what how much do you make in your W2?

Between my two jobs, I make about

75,000. Okay. Okay. Well, what kind of work is the 1099?

It is social media management. Oh, okay. So you don't need an LLC.

That's more of a liability protection

category versus I need this because I want a business. You can just do a schedule C

and be a sole proprietor and do that for the foreseeable future. And just make sure you pay

your quarterly estimated payments to the IRS. Right. Okay. Yeah. I have to say if it becomes

your main source of income, like if you end up tripling it or something, then I feel like

you could probably... This is a long-term business that you're going to have. Look into more

commitments, meaning even the retirement account. Yep. And if you're going to be hiring

someone under you, like all of that, if it starts to expand into something bigger because you're

making so much more, then you can kind of consider that next step in the small business world.

But for now, you're kind of just, you know, you freelance, which is great, that you're making an

extra 37,000 doing this. If you start making 50K, 100K, I would contact a CPA and figure out what

the best status would be for you because it might be like an escorp versus an LLC. And they can

walk you through all the differences and which one would be more beneficial for you.

Okay. And then the part about the retirement plans, we usually have about

$2,000 left over every month. And I just don't know if I should be putting it there or if I should

be putting it just like in our mutual fund. What options do you currently have through your

employer for retirement? So my W2 income doesn't have any retirement attached to it. My wife

goes, she has 6% that she's putting in, it gets a 6% match. We both, yeah, so 6% for both. And then we both

do max out our Roth IRAs. Great. Yeah. I would focus on maxing out all the tax advantage of retirement

accounts first. So for her, that might mean we're going to max out her retirement. And if there's

money beyond that, we've done, you know, the IRAs, we've maxed two of those out. We've maxed out

the 401K. If you have an HSA, a health savings account through your high deductible health plan,

you can max that out as well. And so those would be all the options I'd go to first before just

going outside of retirement into a brokerage account and investing in some mutual funds. Yeah,

because once you max that out at 15%, the retirement side of life, you can kind of check off,

because you can't touch that money until you're 59 and a half. So if you have more to invest,

that's when it would be like, okay, yeah, why don't you just get your brokerage account index

fund or something? Because it could be money that you guys may want to use in the next five years,

you know what I mean? Where retirement, it's really locked up, but for tax purposes,

it's wonderful, especially the Roth IRA. So those are always the first buckets to fill to make

sure retirement's good. And then any investing beyond that definitely is an option down the road.

Yeah. And there's some dirtier options. I won't get deep in the weeds, but there's something

called a mega backdoor Roth 401K, where you can actually contribute after tax dollars into the

401K and then convert it. And so that might be an option through employer. You have to have an

employer that allows both the in-plan conversions and the after tax contributions. But again,

that extra extra, you can't touch so you're 59 and a half, too. So you may want to say,

I prefer to put it in kind of the bridge account, like Rachel's talking about, in case you need

that money down the line. Let's say in your 40s or 50s. Yeah. Okay. But you're crushing it way to go.

Well, that's amazing. Look at you that mega backdoor Roth George. That's why we love hosting

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We wish that we could get to every call and question here on the show. The inbox is completely

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if you have a money question, you want an answer for your situation. We've got you covered.

Head over to our website and use our new Ask Ramsey AI tool. It's completely free. It's built

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of all of our advice. And it's hungry. From the show articles are team, so it really is

buttoned up. It's amazing. Yeah. You're not going to get this from Google because it's taking

in way too many sources. It's going to cloud the judgment. And so if you want your question answered

Ramsey style, go do it for free today. RamseySolutions.com is the place to go and you'll see a big like

search bar in there. That's the Ask Ramsey AI tool. So just put your question in there. It will

launch you into the tool and it's really neat. And if you log in, you can actually save your chat

history. Yes. You go back and reference it. I threw it up on Instagram Stories because I did

a Q&A yesterday. Yes. And it's a bit more DMing me when girl goes, oh my gosh, I just got my,

she literally said, I just got my 401k question answered. And a relational issue I've been having

with my brother a lot about money. She's like, it gave me great advice. I was like, oh, so

amazing. That's so good. We might be out of the job. And it's free. Oh, no, that's incredible.

So go check it out. It's going to be a great starting point at least to get your question answered

if not completely solve it. So RamseySolutions.com, enter the question in the Ask Ramsey search bar

there on the homepage or click the link in the description if you're listening on podcast or YouTube.

Mary is in New York City up next. Mary, welcome to the show.

Thank you so much for taking my call. Sure. How can Rachel and I help?

Awesome. So first I'm so grateful for finding you all seven months ago. I decided I'm making too

much money to be stressed about money. Got the every dollar app and it's completely changed

your spending habits. And we actually budget now. Oh, I love it. Well done. What a great testimonial.

Then awesome. So we are on baby step two. And the next couple of months I expect to have about

a $20,000 inheritance coming to me. We have 43,000 left on a HELOC. That's our remaining debt.

But in order to solidify this behavioral change, I'd rather put the 20K in our emergency fund

and continue to work and pay off the debt ourselves. I consider it like a $1,200 interest

cost. Stupid tax if we're able to pay it off, we should be able to pay it off by October first

this year. Is it sensible to take that interest loss as a stupid tax in order to kind of maintain

our discipline and earn being debt free? I would say Mary, your behavior has already been changed.

I mean, you guys are paying off debt. You're budgeting. You're in it. You're doing it at your past

decisions. Yeah. You're never going to do it again. I don't think that this is going to be a

windfall that you guys pay off half the HELOC when you receive this 20 grand and then suddenly go

back in your old ways. If anything, I think it's exciting. It's a little bit of that like,

oh my gosh, we just were given a gift to fast forward this process so quickly. And then once it's

all paid off, then you can have all of your income to build the emergency fund back. So I would

keep the baby steps in order. I hear what you're saying and I so appreciate that because sometimes

that is our caution. If we have people that are just starting this process and they do get a big

loss, you know, they they had a lawsuit. So they get a, you know, a check from that, a settlement

or they go, I'm going to just sell the house and use that to pay off the debt but never change my

spending behavior. Yes. But you guys have changed your behavior is what it sounds like to me. I'd

give yourself probably more credit. Okay. And it's going to fly to fire under you to not have an

emergency fund have that thousand dollars only while you attack the HELOC. Yes. And guess what? You

get the discipline and behavior change of having to build up an emergency fund from scratch.

So you will you will get to eat your vegetables soon enough.

Sounds good. Yeah. The emergency fund being at a thousand and not contributing to retirement has

been a lot of fire. Yes. That's more behavior trained right there if you're willing to stick that

out through the debt payoff versus getting a little too comfortable having 20 grand sitting

and savings like, well, I mean, we're going to be okay. Something happened. Mary, how much

do you guys make it? Yeah. We just hit about 300 before and all that. Amazing. Yeah. So this debt's

gone within a few months anyways. Yeah. Yeah. That's the plan. Okay. So either way in six to nine

months, you're going to end up in the same place. But yeah, regardless if you keep this in an

emergency fund or whatnot, but I would just throw it at the debt and just keep that keep that

process. And the money you save an interest, you can give to a wonderful cause once you guys

are debt-free with an emergency fund. So don't punish yourself just for fun. Okay. That sounds

good. Thank you so much. Well done, Mary. Excited for you all. Fantastic. All right. Anna is in

Columbia, South Carolina, up next. What's going on, Anna? Hey, how are you? Great. What's your

question? Yeah. So we're kind of in a difficult situation. My husband and I were pretty much forced

back in November to pretty much restructure our entire financial dilemma because they made a

mistake with his company. He got a promotion and he was making really good money. So we were

basing a lot of our financial decisions off of this income that he was getting. But then they

come back nine months later and tell us that this income that he was making was actually a mistake.

And they made a mistake on his commission. What? So they overpaid him and now they're saying,

hey, we need that money back. Well, no, they're not making him pay it back, but he did have his

suspicions. You're not really supposed to discuss pay with other employees, but he had other people

in his position that he had spoke to. And we're talking about some some hard things going on with

their paychecks because it's all commissioned driven. And he wasn't really feeling that because

his was a higher than theirs. So he brought it to the attention of the higher ups and they looked

at it and they said, yeah, actually it's wrong on here. So we didn't have to pay it back, but they

aren't, but it is affecting our taxes this year big time because of the withholding. Yeah, he wasn't

withholding enough. So you have a big tax bill. Yes. So what was he making and now what's the

corrected pay? So he wasn't making about 25 or 100 a week. And now it's more like anywhere between

like 12 and 1500. Oh, gosh. So it like cut in half. Yeah. So we made some financial decisions

along the way based on that income. Shoots. What kind of decisions? Yeah. Um, bit. How much are payment?

Oh, no. Yeah. Um, let's not blame the company for that, by the way.

We make some decisions to go into that. So that's, you know, there's, there's both and here.

So what is the car loan or loans? Well, I won't say this. We have since this happened,

we have gotten on the best track that we possibly could. We were, we did have three vehicles. Now

we have two. We got rid of one of them that we didn't necessarily need. And I actually got rid

of the more expensive one that I was paying way too much money on and paid the negative equity

with the proceeds from the previous vehicle. Okay. So now we're down to about 30,000. We're two

cars. Two cars, 30 grand total and car loans. What about credit cards? Credit cards. We have

about 10,000 credit card debt. Okay. Any other consumer debt? Um, other than that, I mean,

it totals to be about 50,000 with the cars and the credit cards. Oh, so y'all got this new,

you got this new money and you said we can live it up. Yeah. And what about the house?

The payment started racking up. So that's one, that's my question. Um, we have, we're willing to do

anything we can to just get us back, get our heads above water and and actually live and not be

house poor. Um, so our house is what's costing us a lot of money. What's your payment every month?

2,400. Oh. And yeah, all of our total expenses for housing is around 3,000 a month whenever you add

utilities and things like that. So now it's over half your tank home pay. Yeah. So we're thinking

should we sell the house and downsize since the market's kind of trending. Are you working outside

the home? Yes, I have a full time job. Okay. How much are you bringing in a month? Um,

$42,000 a year. Great. So this is not as on fire as we thought, because I thought I was

basing just on his income. I wouldn't sell the house. I think you guys will get your income back

up toward this will be a reasonable payment as far as your take home pay. I would look at selling

one or both of the cars if you want to get out of this faster. But otherwise you get a great

income. Let's focus on knocking out this 50k of debt and never going back in and watching

a lifestyle creep Anna, you know, like that that range when you get a raise, everyone's like,

oh, I can spend this much more and you just keep your lifestyle consistent with that versus living

below your means. So remember that. But yeah, you guys can definitely get this worked out.

Our question of the day is brought to you by Y Refi. Defaulted private student loans don't go

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may not be available in all states. Today's question comes from Rebecca in California.

Oh, I just saw I just saw this. Thank you, Rebecca. Should Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey get a

prenup considering they both have their own income and careers. Oh, this is a Rachel question.

Yes, Rebecca. Taylor Swift. She gets a prenup because I think she's a billionaire.

Yes, she's got a higher net worth than him. Yeah, less, less about the she has her own income

in their own career. She's a working woman. Yes, she's a working woman. She's a billionaire.

But also when you have a major discrepancy in net worth, that's one of the only times that we

talk about a prenup is probably wise wise to do. So don't go, well, Rachel told Taylor she can

get a prenup. Why not me? Yes, because you don't have a massive business empire and intellectual

property and catalog rights and touring companies and everything that Taylor's got going on.

Taylor's prenup compared to Travis. Oh, yeah, this thick. We shared the meme on social,

which was like the lawyers counting money. They're like the lawyers working on the prenup for Taylor

Travis. I know, I know. So yes, I would very much say as she should Taylor Swift, I would get a

prenup. And Travis, very successful NFL players. Yes, he's got a lot of assets too.

And so I think it is wise for those two people to have just some clarity about here's

what we're bringing into the marriage. Here's how we're going to handle it. Here's what happens

if the unthinkable happens. That's right. That's okay to do when you have that level of wealth.

For sure. For sure. Oh, Rebecca, thanks for the question. Did you get an invite to their wedding?

No, not yet. Okay. I'm so happy. I love the yet. I love the optimism you have that you will

get invited somehow somehow. You'll be lucky to get a ticket to the live stream. It's sure.

But you'll make that. I hope they live stream it. They won't. I hope for the, I hope for their

sake, they keep it private. You know, I would charge tickets and then give the money to charity.

That would be the ultimate power move. Oh, like a paper of use adoration.

100 bucks to watch all proceeds go to her favorite charity. Why nobody has done that is beyond me,

guys. Why have to come up with all the ideas here? Yeah, that's actually a great idea. I would

have done it if I thought anybody would buy tickets to see my wedding. Oh, my gosh. What,

you're such a generous guy. Thank you. Zach is in Nashville up next. What's going on, Zach?

Hey, guys, how you doing? The my question is how do I determine my salary value

as a project manager in my field if I don't have too much to go off of? I put 2.8 million in

the ground in eight months. I'm starting out with this company brought it from a 600 year,

yearly revenue to 2.8 million. My salary is 50,000. Right now, base, I got a bonus of 2 grand

and extra paycheck for Christmas, but I work 80 to 100 hours seven days a week on call. The time

got a wife in a eight month old baby. My gosh. That's what you do. I'm a fencing project manager.

Fencing, you said? Yes, sir. Okay. Why are you still with this company? Because it feels like

you've been mistreated or at least you feel that way. Well, the owners let me know that there's

some big salary things ahead. And I'm coming up on my one year negotiation. So I've reached out

to other franchise owners, PMs and stuff like that. And they're making about 70, 80, running a five

to $7,000,000 to $7,000,000 operation. I'm running this one alone since growing one of

proposals accepted. I handle everything. Materials, client relations, installation, quality walks,

everything. Do you have any commission? No. And that's kind of another thing I'd need.

Why don't you just move into sales? It sounds like you've got some sales skills.

Yeah. I got a bigger picture with my brother to be in the GC, get back into the GC field.

And this is kind of a step along the way. Okay. Well, I mean, you lay out. Here's my role.

Here's how I've been going above and beyond. Here's what I'm bringing to the table. Here's how I

increase revenue. And if they go, well, yeah, yeah, one day. But here's a little two grand raise

for all your hard work. Thanks, bud. I think that's clear that they're not going to value you as much

as you feel like you're valued. And it's time to look for a different employer.

And you've been there for a year. You've obviously made some major moves to help them

grow the business. So I would ask them, hey, what is a what does a path look like for me to grow

my income and have them answered too? Because, you know, I mean, so they're responsible. They're

the ones that are going to make the call. So I would be curious if you just have an open

end to question to them, oh, hey, what's a what's a not only a career path within this company,

but for us for salary growth, what does that look like? And if they don't really have a plan or

they're not looking for a plan, then you then I guess that's a call you're going to have to make.

Yeah, he's mentioned something about matching for contributions for kids college and stuff.

I'm still waiting to nothing's really been happened. Yeah, I mean, a lot of talk.

Yeah, but your one year is when? Two, three months. Okay. How old are you?

25. Okay. If I'm in your shoes, the best ammo you might have is

looking at another employer who sees what you've been doing and you go, hey, this is how I help

the revenue. Here's what I've been doing. Is there a position here where I can add some value?

And just see, you might double your pay without having to sit here and negotiate for another

two grand raise. But if the writing's on the wall and they're just kind of prom empty promises,

then I wouldn't be there much longer. Like this, sir. But I mean, it's a simple conversation.

Hey, I think I'm adding value to the organization. And if I am, I'd love to talk about how that

can show up in my paycheck in a reasonable way. How big is the team, Zach? I run three crews myself.

One is eight man crew. One is a four man crew. And one is a two to three man crew.

But we keep them two of them fed six days a week. Okay. And they're happy. Yeah. Yeah. Well,

just the fact that you're working 80 hours a week, making 52,000, that doesn't. Essentially,

you're making 25 grand, which is like $12 an hour. Yeah. So that's where I go. Clearly, if this is

what's expected and required of you for this 50 grand, I would not do it anymore.

Okay, sir. So if you're as sharp as you say, you are, I think you can get hired elsewhere and make

more, have some humility too in the conversation. You know, you haven't been there a year.

No guns ablaze in here. Yeah. Yeah. And I would, I would, I would make it a conversation. And again,

the way they run the business, it's a small business, they may not have the structure in place,

a cash flow wise. I mean, who knows what, how healthy the company is? He's saying, well, I brought

it from this much to this much in revenue. I don't know what they're doing with the revenue.

Either, you know what I mean, they're buying a building. I mean, I don't know. Like, so you,

you got to get a big picture too of what's going on. Let's get to Jeff in Phoenix. Jeff, how can

we help get right to the question? Hey, how are you doing? Great. So my wife and I, we make

between six to seven thousand a month, um, given overtime for commissions. We were kind of

stressed about money. We weren't really sure what was going on with all of it. We got a lot of

every dollar, um, been listening for about a month and through everything in there and kind of

came up with nothing. We are out of debt. And kind of the zero dollar to the end of the budget

comes after investing 15 percent. But we're looking at, um, we'd like to be able to have our

mortgage really, but we just don't see where we can bring any extra money. So you have expenses

that rack up to seven thousand dollars a month. That's what you're bringing home. Right.

That's what I think. I was saying, that's, that's the spot to dig in. If you're saying, hey,

we have a great income. We don't have any debt. We're investing 15 percent before this hits our

bank account. That tells me there's some high expenses inside of your budget. How much is your

mortgage, Jeff? 2000. Okay. Yeah. That's reasonable. So we got another four to five thousand left.

Where are the majority of that going? Do I have kids? Stay care. No kids is just the two of us. Um,

I feel like we live pre comfortably, but not too comfortably. We

let's see, walk my every dollar here and have it open in another cab. Um, we've tied 10 percent.

So around 300, um, utilities and h away. That's probably an additional 400 there. Um, we both

travel over 30 minutes to work. So about 400 on gas. So 400 on groceries, 200 on eating out,

and then this is probably where you're going to tell me to cut back a little bit, but

probably 500 on just us, probably extra. Yeah, that hasn't ended up to five grand. No,

I'm still at 4,500. There's still another $2,000 here that's unaccounted for. So what I would do

is not just look at what you plan in every dollar, but what your actual bank statement said,

and you'll go, oh, we got to tighten up in a bunch of these areas. Yeah. And every dollar will

help you find that margin with recommendations.

Welcome back to the Ramsey show in the Fairwinds Credit Union studio. I'm George Campbell,

joined by Rachel Cruz. The number to call is triple eight eight two five five two two five. If

you want to join the conversation as we help you take the right next step for your life and your

money. Kevin is in Atlanta. What's going on, Kevin? Hey, how's it going? Um, so my mortgage is about

four months behind after my wife just stopped contributing to the household. And we are currently

in a loss of mitigation until May. Um, they're giving us a chance to try to like catch the mortgage

back up. However, I'm still kind of dealing with some financial infidelity from from her. As far as

you know, neither of us could afford the house without each other. Our mortgage is about

seventeen hundred dollars a month. And my income is seven to eight hundred dollars a week. And

hers is about fourteen hundred every two weeks. And that's after taxes. So I was just trying to see

if you could give me an idea of what I should do as far as the house goes. We do have three kids.

I'll put that in perfect. Yeah. Did she stop working, Kevin? Is that why? No. So she's, she's

working. Um, actually at the beginning of all this, um, I went through a hiccup with my job. So

she works during the day and I was working overnight. And my mother went into the ICU. So I had to

take about a week off, um, because I thought, you know, she was, she was on life support. So I had

to go be with her and ended up losing my job. So it took me about, um, three weeks to find another

job. And then when I did, it was during the day. So then child care, I was having to pay for that as

well. Um, so then why do you keep saying you were having to pay for it? How about we had to pay

for it as a household, right? There is no. And honestly, that's where I've kind of made a mistake

from the very beginning. Um, everything has been separate from the very beginning. You know,

and I believe, I do believe all of her money is going towards the kids, but I think it's a little

ridiculous. Like she uses the firm website, um, I now pay later. And yes, yeah, found out that

later. Right. So Christmas, any holidays, birthday, um, anything you can think of, it's all,

she orders the stuff off Amazon and they just pop it right out of her check. So are you guys living

together still? We do. We do live together. So what's the dynamic like right now? Because you've

been throwing out a lot of words like infidelity and she stopped contributing. Have you guys had a

conversation about what's going on? Um, the best of the best that we could. Um, yeah, I mean,

I mean, she doesn't understand she's going to get foreclosed on if she doesn't choose to

contribute. You know, do you mean like, yeah, as a household, we have to pay our mortgage. However,

that gets paid out of any, uh, it doesn't matter who's checked, we got to pay the mortgage.

So I don't understand what she's expecting is going to happen.

You know, I really don't either. And then I've kind of, I've always been the, the, uh, the bill

payer and like the take care of everything, you know, so like I'm the one who kind of worked out

the, um, the financial plan with the mortgage company. I've explained it to her the best that I

could have, of how the lost mitigation works. Basically, I think we're on like, uh,

forbearance plan to where it just gives us enough time to get caught up to keep it out.

I think you needed a sense of urgency here, Kevin. I'd talk with her tonight and say,

this is on fire. We are about to lose the house. Our kids need a roof over their heads. What are we

doing? And the way we've been doing this sucks. This is horrible. Like you've been

mowing me for the mortgage and then it doesn't come through and now I can't pay the mortgage payment.

This is not working. So even if it's just for the kids right now to have some safety and

security, she needs to pitch in. Right. And if she's out of control spending, then you need to

reroute the money into a bank account that you at least can see. Yeah. That's the, that's the thing

that has to happen in the next week or two because you guys have to start, you know, paying back

on this. But then overall, Kevin, we can't, we can't function like this. You know what I mean?

I mean, long term and the marriage. And so for, does she have any urgency to work on money with

you and for you guys to be a team? Because always couples that have this, this split of a mindset

and such a big topic like money, I just assume you don't have a great marriage.

We definitely do not right now. And I tried to sit down and budget with her. And in fact,

I downloaded an app besides every dollar because our lives are hectic because we have been working

off the shift. It's a great way to effectively communicate financially. There's an app called

honeydew. And it just allows you to view each other's bank accounts. So I know how much she has.

She knows how much I have. Yeah. That's not really getting to the root of the problem. Yeah,

I hear you. It's less about visibility. It's more about unity. Yeah. Oh, right. And she just

think like that. She's like rich budget without knowing where every dollar is going. And I'm like,

that's literally the name of, of the dollar. So yeah, it sounds like you guys have a bunch of

consumer debt too. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I mean, I don't know, to be honest, I don't even know

what all debts she has. Yeah, you probably don't. Well, fun homework assignment. You guys both

pull your credit reports tonight. You can do it for free annual credit report.com. And you're

going to find out. And we're going to say, Hey, all cards on the table. What are all the debts we

have? We got to clean this mess up. And again, I don't care if you hate each other, but you need to

do this for the security of your own family and the house. Yeah. And then you guys need to have

kind of a reset Kevin of, of where you guys want to be, you know, as a couple in the next two,

three, four years, you guys need to, I mean, truly have this picture of, this is what I want,

this is what what John's already says that this is what I want our home to feel like. What do we

want our home to feel like? Do we, we're raising our children in this home? We are in this marriage

together. You know, you can make choices to change habits, to change the way you've been doing

marriage. And, and completely turn on its head and do the complete opposite, right? Because right

now it's just chaos and division versus peace and unity. And if that's what you both want working

together, yeah, I would, I would lay out a roadmap for you, you know, and just say, where do we want

to be in 24 months? Like in two years, what would the ideal life look like, feel like, and how do we

reverse engineer that to decisions that we have to make today? Some of the steps on fire, like

what George is saying, we got to get the mortgage paid. I mean, there's some of that that's like,

but overall, what does it look like to truly have a healthy marriage where we are a team

in this? And together, you know, we're making decisions together. We both have input,

regardless of who brings in the income. This is a household that we have chosen to be a part of.

And so when the money hits the account for the household, how are we going to budget it together?

And out of that creates the unity. But sometimes you have to do those rigorous steps first, you know,

to get to where you want to go. But that's part of figuring out the where you even want to be

as a couple. Yeah, I don't, is she, has she opted out of this marriage? I mean, you mentioned

the word infidelity. I don't know if he said financial financial, I think. Okay. Is that true?

As far as I, as far as I know, it's just financially. Okay. Well, you guys make $6,000 take home

from what I gathered, right? Yes. Okay, that is above the average take home pay for a

household in America. And you guys are living well below average lives right now. And so that's the

reset we need. It's not an attack on her and attack on you and who's right and who's wrong.

It's we need unity. We make too much to feel this broke. And these kids deserve some shelter

over their heads. This is stupid to lose the house over being ununified. I wish you the best.

All right. Let's cut to the chase. It's easy to get discouraged about crazy house prices and

interest rates. But when you have the right real estate agent to help you buy and sell the right

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slash agent. That's RamseySolutions.com slash agent.

And as in Chicago up next and welcome to the Ramsey show. Hi, thank you for taking my call.

Absolutely. What's your question today? So we have three young adult children. Two of them are

very responsible and respectful. The third is terrible with money. It depends money as fast as

you can get it. And he also has a major lying problem. So currently, our relationship is very

strange. He's not living with us and he's not living a life that we can support right now.

In the meantime, we are looking to rewrite our wills or set up a revokeable living trust.

So how can we set this up? So if we were to die before he matures or changes direction here

that he would have to demonstrate necessary qualities before receiving his inheritance.

And at what point does he simply forfeit his share? And what do we do with that share then?

And also, of course, we do not want to be the cause that our adult children do not get along

after we're gone. But we also don't want this gift that we've worked so hard for to be wasted.

You're asking the right questions, Dan. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. It's not how

you picture it when you imagine being able to bless your family and leave a legacy. And now you can't

even trust the child to handle it. Correct. But you're doing the right steps. I mean, a revokeable

living trust is the move. And you can customize the provisions and you'll need a strong trustee

to actually carry this out. But you can time it all. You can have conditions and say, hey,

if he doesn't do XYZ, he doesn't get anything. And at that point, it gets split evenly between the two

other siblings. Okay. Yeah. And if that's it, and I would communicate it, it's going to be really hard.

But I would rather him hear that from you all at some level than the reading of the will, you know,

if you guys pass away. Okay. That. And then I would have a conversation with all three of them.

I would. Yeah. Okay. Let it let it get mad at you while you're alive instead of getting

mad at the siblings when they had nothing to do with this. Yeah. And I would have the conditions

have someone, yeah, whether it's the trustee, whoever it is, that it's not one of your children that

has to monitor his behavior. Because that could make the relationship really odd, right? So if there's

a good family friend that you trust, but I would not. I would not put one of the siblings in that

position. Because I think that could definitely cause tension. And be very clear on those conditions

to write not subjective as clear as you can be is going to be the best end. And it is. I'm with

George. My get is so it is so heartbreaking because money is such a magnifying glass. It makes us

more of what we already are. And if there's really, you know, horrible habits, things that he's,

you know, doing that's damaging himself. And then you put money on that. It's that yeah,

it's going to it's going to make his life even worse, right? Where money is supposed to be a

blessing in that. So I think there's definitely some wisdom. And it is very. It's very sad. It's very,

very heartbreaking. But I do think there's wisdom in that. And in my prayer is that yeah, he,

he wakes up. How old is he? 19. 19. Okay. All right. You know, we're all a little.

There's still time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. I'm glad he's not like 40.

That makes me feel better. He's not too set in his ways. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, um, yeah.

But you can always change it later. Like what could.

Here's an example. You could say, Hey, there's going to be a sobriety requirement and a debt-free

requirement. And every month we're going to check your credit score into a drug test. And if

it's clear, you will get $5,000 every month. So you can set it up to be a specific and nuanced

as you want. And a good estate attorney can help you set all that up because they've seen it all.

They've seen it go wrong. They've seen it go right. And so I'm just giving you an example of how

nuanced and specific you can get because it's your money. And you can have as much oversight as you

want and as much strings attached as you want, especially if you're worried about them. What I

wouldn't do is make one of the siblings the trustee because now he becomes a bad guy. And so you

want a strong third party, a professional trustee through a company that specializes in this.

That way he doesn't get to fight the siblings. They go, Hey, we got nothing to do with it and we

can't do anything about it. Yeah. Right. Right. I understand that. All right.

But good luck in the meantime. I know it's hard because he's an adult now and he can make

adult decisions and you wish you could just be like, I want the best for you. Change, please.

But it might take a little bit more rock bottom to get him to to have his prodigal son, you know,

home returning home moment. Right. I understand. Thank you. Absolutely. Man, that's a tough one.

All right. Kristen is in Illinois up next. Kristen, welcome to the show.

Uh-oh. Can I hear you, Kristen? Loud and clear. Can you hear me? Yes, that's better.

Hey, hi, thanks for taking my call. So my question is about

affording a larger house for my growing family. We live in a pretty small house right now

and financially we're doing well. But I feel like I'm really asking my kids to sacrifice

too much instead of providing for them. Well, kind of sacrifices are they making?

Are they working the fields all day? No, we have chickens. Oh, good. They should be working out

there. Oh, yeah. No, they, I mean, like any kids, they have hobbies like my 13-year-old really

likes to do Legos. Our house is so small and now we have a baby that he really can't enjoy,

he can't have most of any of his things inside the house. A lot of their toys that they've had

over the years are in the garage. And they just, there's not enough room for them, really,

to be normal kids. How many kids do you have? We have two, we have three now. So three boys.

And how many bedrooms? There is three bedrooms, but we use one as an office.

Okay, one of you works from home. We both work from home, yeah. Okay, and what's the square footage?

We need a thousand and fifty square feet. Okay, so it is tight. I mean, that's less legit. You're

not making this up. Well, would a bigger house cost you guys and could you afford it?

In our area, a bigger house would go easily for $365,000. And I'm honestly not sure if we

code afford it, but everyone, I feel like everyone is telling me, hey, you guys just have to pull

the trigger and do it because if you don't take any risks, you'll never get anywhere.

Everybody doesn't pay your bills. You pay them. Yeah, and everybody is broke, Kristen.

So I wouldn't be asking for their opinion, Tristan. No. What I would do is just look at the facts

and go, okay, our income is $10,000 a month. Yeah, how much is it?

Therefore, we can afford $2,500 on a mortgage. Yeah, what's your income a month?

My husband makes $80,000 a year. I used to make $80,000 a year or two, but since the baby's been

born, it really haven't been able to do much. Yeah. And so it's going to be that way until he's

in kindergarten at least. Sure. Three more years. What hits your account every month,

with just your husband's income? Is it around $7,000? Yeah, probably around that. Okay.

So yeah, I mean, I would be looking for a home and you'll have to do the math on a 15-year

fixed rate mortgage where the payment is no more than 25% of your take on pay. What could you sell

your house for today? How much would your house go for? It would go for $165 to $180. Okay,

and how much do you guys owe on it? We only owe about $60,000. We've run a 15-year fixed mortgage

at 2% flat. Okay. So you could walk away with over a hundred grand to put down on the next house?

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And if you guys had any, yeah, we're on a $2,000 mortgage,

you'll have to see what that all probably, you know, you can do the Ramsey mortgage calculator

at RamseySolutions.com and put in with the down payment and everything. And yeah, there's a

chance you guys definitely could, but I went not just to win. Like, oh, yeah, just you don't,

you got to take risks. No, you don't. No, we have facts that you get to make really wise mature

decisions off of because you have numbers, you know, and so let's be wise with that and make sure

that again, that payment's no more than 25% of your take on pay. But I think, yeah, if it all works,

I would definitely, I would upgrade, get some more room. Yeah. And he works from home.

And most of the time he works in office at his business, like one week out of the month.

Okay. So that the other thing you can send us, we send our kids to private school. And that's 15,000

a year. Okay. So that's a eating up a good chunk of your budget as well. Yeah. So you've got to

figure out, okay, let's do a budget. And yeah, we got about, you know, 1100 going out to private

school. We have this new mortgage, right? Theoretically. Here's what we need to spend on food.

I mean, yeah, you got to map it out because sometimes you can't have it all, right? I mean,

you might, I'm not sure, depending on how the numbers work, you might be able to. We can't have

all three. We can't have a big house on a single income and send the kids to private school.

We get to choose two. And so then you get resourceful and go, all right, we're going to work this

out. He gets a corner of the house or he goes to the office more and we free up a bedroom,

which gives us more room for now. They're going to save up an upgrade when the time is right.

So I wish you the best. There's hard decisions here, but I think you guys can make it.

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We'll go to ramseysolutions.com slash events to book your cabin today. Emma is in Wilmington,

North Carolina, up next. Emma, welcome to the show. Hi, guys. Thank you so much for taking my call

today. Absolutely. What's going on? So I'm a little bit of a situation. So me and my husband

are both own businesses and we're both pretty against entrepreneurs, I guess you can say. And

we're keep on having this agreement about how we choose to, particularly how I choose to invest

in my business and how I choose to spend my money, how I choose to do like, particularly

invest into my business. And I just feel like he's always micro-managing me about every

single thing that I do for my business while like, for me, while he's running his business,

I'm just going to honey, I trust you. But when it comes to like, sort of my turn, he's always

kind of in there and it's making like, it's making it hard for me to make all these decisions that

I feel like I should be making for my business. Because he doesn't, because there's, I mean,

is it, is it like, it's a conversation and he gets excited because he loves small business and

he's like, who I want to look at the numbers and talk to you about it? Where do you feel like he's

being controlling or that he doesn't trust you or what's the feeling? It's like, he says that

I trust you in it, but I just feel like I should be there because I guess he says he does trust me,

but I feel like he does. I guess he's always like, like, doubling down on my decision. He's like,

it's so you're sure that this is what you need to do. Are you asking him for advice?

Into advice and particularly how I choose to invest into my business. What do you mean by invest

in the business? You keep mentioning that. By like, getting ads or like advertisements, like,

I need that to grow my business and he just sees it as a waste of money.

Okay. And so you're not going into debt for this. It's not a values issue. It's just,

I have one way of doing it. He has another way of doing it. Yeah. Yeah. Are your businesses

connected or related in any way? No. So we just recently split my, all of my income and all

my expenses, like expenses for my business, like completely, like out of our, like, separate,

like, related, separate account for all of my stuff, but he's still running his business from

our personal. Okay. You'll need two separate business accounts. You don't need a,

you don't need a co-mingle of business running a business in your personal checking out of the

business. Yeah. So like, the fact that I am like, I guess you could say like more legit, like,

I have all my paper files, like everything filed and everything in order, while he's like also

kind of starting out. Okay. So it's not like a social official. Yeah. But he's still doing it.

You know, he's still, yeah, I would go get a different, another checking account, right,

to be running the business out of just so that it doesn't all get tangled up.

Yeah. That. And then as far as him giving you his opinion, I think that's just a,

that's a communication, you know, issue in my opinion of, hey, I don't like the way that

you're stepping in. I would, I would love to know your thoughts because I think you're smart.

And, you know, I mean, if you think that will you do, you know, and I would love to, to hear what

you have to say. But I'm, but at the end of the day, I'm probably going to make these different

decisions because I'm going to choose to do it this way or that way and it's not an immoral thing,

like what George was saying. It's just a, this is what I'm going to choose to do. And he,

yeah, should be supportive of that. Unless it's like a horrible decision, but so far,

unless it's hurting the household and damaging the income severely. But I think it's fair to say,

I am open to advice. I'm just not looking for oversight. I need space to lead this business. And if

I make a couple of mistakes here there, they're nonfatal, I'm okay with that. And we just have

different ways of approaching this. So unless I specifically ask for strategy, I'm not looking for

that unsolicited advice, but I would love your support. And I offer the same to you. How would he

respond to that? We kind of just have this same conversation like every like few weeks out.

Like we had a conversation where like, okay, like, I'll kind of like back off. And then

we like to be really transparent about how we choose to like decisions and what kind of big like

money decisions we make. And then it just kind of comes back up where he says, well, like, what

is like your return on that? And I'm like, well, the returns I guarantee because it's like, it's

like advertisement, you know? And what's the nature of his business? What's the nature of the business

he's running? So he's in like selling cars and like parts and all that stuff.

Okay. And he's just getting started. What is your household income?

This is a thing we don't have. It's a different every single week. It

mostly like depends on what he sells. Well, I can sell and

what are you selling? I do like weddings. I do like floral and decor. So I'm not guaranteed to

book out until like, certain amount. It's a long term play for you because you're talking about

weddings that are booked a year or two from now that you're trying to get on the books.

Yes. Okay. Well, do you guys have consistent income outside of that? Are you both working

other jobs or is this it? No, I just quit my job a few weeks ago because I wasn't getting enough

hours. And they were not willing to give me more hours. And he quit his job to pursue this.

So what are you guys making in a given week or month? And given month, we could we could be lucky

anywhere from two to seven grand. That's quite the range. I'm just wondering what's at the

root of this? Is there fear in his mind of, hey, are we going to be okay? And is this business

going to succeed? Are we going to be able to hit our financial goals this month if you don't run

this business? How I think you should run it? So I would get to the root of what his true concern is.

I don't think he's just like a marketing nerd who's like, well, I just think you should run

ads this way to Rachel's point. It wasn't out of excitement of him wanting to nerd out. It was

you're doing it wrong. It's more of like he thinks I should not do any advertisement and know

like marketing at all that I should just be like, just do what you do. And like orders will come

in, you know? Yeah, it's just different philosophy on how to run a business. But what I would worry

about him is that you guys may make two grand in a month and he quit his job for something that's not

even official that he hasn't quote unquote, filed papers for yet. Yeah. That makes me a little

nervous. Does it you? Sounds like he should focus on his own business right now. I understand where

it's like when it comes to sales and cars where it's like kind of you're not really guaranteed

to sell. But the income is like decent. We have a lot. We have a flexibility. Okay, good, good,

good. As long as you guys are in a good spot. Yeah, at this point, that's just a different way

to run a business. And I would, I would just tell him, yeah, I don't, I don't need the thought. It's

it's creating too much conflict. So I'm going to go over here and run it this way. And if it's not,

if it doesn't grow in five months, let's reevaluate together. Yeah. And just reset the conversation

and say, Hey, we need to reset on the values that we both have for this household, for our money

and for our business. As long as we are aligned on the values and the principles, the process and

which way we run the business, it doesn't matter. And if things go south, you're going to go,

Hey, listen, I need some help here. The ads aren't working. What do you think we should do? And

that's wise to have that council. You know, you need to support each other and you can do the same

for his business too. But it's not out of a lack of trust and micromanaging. It is a truly I want

to see you in. And when you win, we all win. And right now, it almost feels competitive. I don't know

if he's jealous of your business because it's more successful than his right now or what's going on.

But I think you need to get to the root of it. I don't think we've cracked it yet.

I wish you the best. These are these are not fun conversations to have, but they're worth

having. And maybe this isn't a season where he needs to be running this business. Maybe you guys

do need some more consistent income and he goes and gets a job selling cars and you run this for

now. And maybe another season he gets to run a business and you go do something else. I don't

know what that looks like for you guys, but being on the same page is a great first step.

Okay, picture this. You sit down to do your taxes, but instead of stressing out, you're actually

ahead of the game and filing within affordable software that makes your computer shoot confetti

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free filing. That's ramseysolutions.com slash smart tax our scripture of the day second chronicles

15 seven, but as for you, be strong and do not give up for your work shall be rewarded.

Dwayne Johnson said be humble, hungry, and always be the hardest worker in the room.

I love. Why is word rock? I love the rock. He's one of my favorites. He's likeable. He is. I know.

Well done. Good quote. D is in Wilmington, Delaware. Up next. D welcome to the show.

Thank you for taking my call. Sure. I just got a life insurance insurance

because my husband passed away in November. Oh, so sorry. I'm sorry. How old was he?

44. Oh my gosh. Oh, do you guys have kids?

We do. A 17 year old and a 14 year old. Wow, D. I'm so sorry. Oh my gosh.

He had life insurance though.

I'm through his work. He didn't have it privately, but there's $150,000 that was in his life insurance

that I could get to collect. He had some 401k that went into my 401k and that left me with a

pretty good amount. So I have like 900,000 overall. Oh, good. Okay. How old are you?

54. Okay. And so anyway, I can't afford the mortgage by itself, but because I have kids,

I have survivors benefit that's going to come to me until my son turns 18 and graduates.

So for like the next year and a half, I should be okay with making payments on the house.

Okay. But then I leave that and then it's just my daughter. Yeah. So I think I would have to

pull from something. So I don't know if I should use $150,000 and put some of it into the mortgage,

like to help pay off the house or should I invest it? I don't know what to do with it.

Yeah. How much is left? How much is left on the house?

237. 237. Okay. And financially, do you guys do have consumer debt?

Yeah. No debt. I don't have anything good house.

Okay. And what kind of savings do you have that's not investments or retirement?

I have about 30,000 just good savings. Okay. Perfect. Just like an emergency fund.

Yeah. Most of our money went to his medical stuff, so I could put more away.

Okay. And your income, what are you making a year?

100. Okay. Yeah. I'm just thinking I probably would write out, I think I would just keep that 150

in probably a high yield savings account right now. And with the survivor's benefit,

write that out for a year. And then I would probably plan on pulling some of that 150

until you're able to pay off the house because you'll have probably,

after if you apply the whole 150, you'd have 80 grand left on the house. And that feels doable to me.

Yeah. What's your margin like right now with just your income and the survivor's benefit?

What's my, what, how much margin do you have at the end of each month? How much money left over

after paying all your bills? I don't really know because it just started. I should be getting

and I took a leave of absence for two months. So I don't really know, but I'm, I think,

I think I will have at least $1,000. Okay. And how much is the mortgage a month?

22. Okay. But you'll probably have a thousand after mortgage and everything is paid off. But

when that survivor benefit is over, you'll have $2,200 that you've got to pay per month.

Correct. Correct. Okay. And when my daughter leaves for sure. Yeah. Okay. I have enough. Yeah.

Okay. The other thing you can look into with a financial advisor is the Rule of 55,

which would allow you to access those retirement account, which could help you to knock out the house.

Oh. That's one other option to look into and you can reach out to a Smart Vestor Pro

at RamseySolutions.com and just kind of walk through all the variables here to be strategic

because you have to be. It wasn't a $1.5 million dollar life insurance policy. And so if you're

trying to make this money last for a long time or at least put it to good use, the truth is you're

going to have to work for the foreseeable future. I mean, you have that 900,000. If you work for

another seven years and just let that money sit, it could double. So that's the good news.

Yeah. So you will be out of the woods soon enough. But just the next few years, it might feel a

little bit tight, but I'm not concerned about you losing the house or not being able to make the

mortgage payment as long as you can keep up that six-figure income. Is that pretty stable?

Yes. Okay. Great. Then I would, I like Rachel's plan of just letting it sit in the

high old savings for now until you know that you know the next step because once you put it in the

house, it's kind of locked up in there. And I love the idea of you getting rid of that mortgage

because that makes retirement and covering your bills a whole lot easier. So that is still the

goal. It's just what's the best way to get there and when? Okay. Okay. That's good. I have also,

he had a Roth IRA that's about 20,000 dollars. And I haven't done anything with it because I didn't

know if I could, I have some like, we haven't done anything in the house because he was sick for so

long. So there's like trees that need to be taken down. There's, you know, masonry that needs to be

and you do dishwasher like, I didn't know if I could use that 20,000. I don't know if I should,

I don't know what to do with that Roth IRA. Yeah. Because it now is an inherited IRA.

I've done nothing with it that it's an option to be an inherited IRA. Yeah. And you do have

savings outside of that that you could use to cashflow some of these things around the house?

I have 30,000 dollars in savings. That's your emergency fund. That's my emergency card. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. I wouldn't touch the emergency fund for these, but I would try to cashflow it even if it's

out of your future income. I love the idea of that money continuing to grow tax-free if you don't

absolutely need it. Okay. So then should I just make it into my, do I make it inherited or do I

put it in my own, because I have a Roth IRA myself and I believe I could roll that into there? Yeah.

Again, that's a great question for the Smart Vestor Pro because there are going to be differences

with the required drawdowns from an inherited IRA versus rolling it over. So if you are able to

roll it over, there might be some upside to that of you not needing to draw it down immediately.

But again, it's $20,000. It's not the bulk of your net worth, but I would just be more hesitant

because that's all tax-free money. And so we want to just protect that as long as we can to let it

grow tax-free. Okay. Well, they said, okay. So that's my goal is to keep it growing tax-free.

Okay. Because they did say if I took it out, I wouldn't have the penalty. But yes, because it's

inherited. Yeah. Exactly. So I'm so sorry you're going through this. You're asking the right

questions. It's not something anyone ever pictures themself having to go through. Yeah. And usually

we say too, with any bulk of money after a tragedy, just pause for a year. Don't make any big moves.

So they're, you know, even that life insurance policy not making a big move of putting it right

into the house just way to year. And I think a lot of more clarity will come because you're still

right in the middle of new grief. I mean, it's just been, it's been just a few months for you.

So I'm so sorry. Well, if you need a good high-yield savings account,

D you can jump on to Fairwinds.org slash Ramsey. They've been great partners with us and they've

an awesome smart bundle just for our fans. And that's a great place to park that 150 until you know

what to do next. Yeah. And good reminder for life insurance. That's what I was going to say, George.

You know, you guys, I mean, he thankfully had something to his work, but we really do recommend

people get 10 to 12 times your annual income. And at term policy, don't do whole life do a term

policy. If you're a stay-at-home parent, half a million dollars or even 700,000 on you,

because people depend upon the work that you're doing or the income that you're bringing in.

And, you know, in this case, again, I don't want to fault them by any means.

But, you know, that'd be a million dollar term policy. You know, if they were, or I guess

depending on what he was making, but if he was making a hundred grand too, you know, so it just,

it changes the dynamic so much of a grieving situation when you don't have to worry about money

on top of it. And if you're healthy, you guys. And if you're, I mean, any age, but especially if

you're younger, it is so inexpensive, so inexpensive. And so Zander's great because they shop so many

different companies to get you the best rate. And a lot of them, you don't even need a medical exam.

You can do it all online, which is awesome. And as your family grows, you guys and your income

grows, Winston, I just had to do this probably about two years ago. We looked up and we're like,

oh my gosh, it's been a few years, you know, and our income has grown over time. So we got to make

sure that we're matching, you know, that's an extra policy for 10 years, a shorter time span.

That's right. So y'all look at, I mean, life insurance is one of the best ways to say a lot of

times because you have it through your employer. You go, well, I'm good. I have it through my

employer, but that might be one to two times your income. You need 10 to 12 if you want to actually

be able to live off of this and invest it and live off the growth. So get it done today. Let this be

a sober reminder, zander.com, or you can call 800-356-4282. That puts this hour of the Ramsay show

in the books.