My Son Is Upset With Me

0:00Thanks for listening to my call of the day brought to by my new sponsor, Chapter. Chapter compares every Medicare plan nationwide helps you find the one that fits. Get your answer with one free call to chapter. Go to schapter.org today to get the clarity you deserve. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on SiriusXM Triumph and connect with me 24-7 at Dr. Laura.com. Jay, welcome to the program. Hello. How are you? Hello, Jay. Good. How can I help? Well, I have a dilemma and it has been really affecting me to the point where I'm just having a really difficult time right now. I have a large close-knit family, but they're close-knit in groups. There's groups of kids because I've adopted seven and then I had seven biological. So it's certain ones are close with other ones.

1:02But what has happened is one of my biological sons, recently, who I'm very close with, he has lately told me that because I got involved helping my adopted daughter leave a domestic violent situation with her two young babies just last week, that I shouldn't be doing that, that I'm too old to be doing it. And I'm always letting people run over me and she's living with her. My ex has been, because he has room, but he's been real hateful, not just to her, but also to me about it. And whenever I say something like, you know, I just think the real motive for his behavior, why would he object to somebody? Let me finish the question. Okay, okay. Before you say I don't know. From what you know about him, this is not out of the clear blue. So what does he really mean when he doesn't want you to rescue somebody who's in danger?

2:12Go ahead. It is kind of out of the blue, but what he tells me, and I tend to believe it, in a warped sense, he says, I'm just trying to protect you so that people don't use you or, you know, overwhelm you. This is the first time you've heard him say he doesn't think you've done enough for him, because that's what this means. No, he would, he has never said that. In fact, he says, no, he's going to think about it. Think about it for a minute. Okay. Because it doesn't mean the obvious. Okay. If you think it means the obvious that he just is protecting you from being overwhelmed, which I think is bullshit. Yeah.

3:13Then just say, that's very sweet of you son. I'll think about that. If you're really believing that that's what he means, hug him, tell him it's so thoughtful that he's so concerned about you, and you're going to give this great thought. Okay. That's how you should handle it. I could try that. I could try that. No, I didn't tell you to try anything. This is a response to him being so concerned about your well-being. Tell him you're grateful that he is that concerned about your well-being, and you'll give this thought. And then the things he says after that, you'll know that you were wrong. I was right. I know that. I already realized that. What I was hoping is that I could... I don't want to hear what you were hoping. Don't want to hear it. Don't want to hear what you were hoping.

4:15We don't live in the land of hoping. Well, what I was wanting, I guess, what I wanted was to maybe get some direction on do I pull back? Do I just not put myself around? I told you the answer. I told you the answer. You didn't like it? Okay. Well, you said that I would choose to... I mean, you're very grateful. I'm not going to tell a person not to help rescue somebody who's in violent trouble. That would be insane to tell you not to be helpful. So for you, even to a... Should I not be involved? What should I do? Does that sound like a grown woman of 74? No, I didn't mean that I wouldn't get involved. I mean, I would not have any discussion or involvement with him over those things. I wouldn't say I'm going to go do this. I've done this. How would you do it? Shut up about it. Well, it's none of his business.

5:18For you to discuss it with him, that's her private business. Right. You shouldn't be discussing one child's private business with other children. Right. I only discuss it because I was trying to borrow... Don't discuss it. Don't discuss it. Okay. Okay. Respect each child's privacy. Okay. Can you do that? Just tell him how. Just tell him you're so impressed with how thoughtful he is and you'll give it your attention. And then when he gets even angrier, you'll know you were wrong and I was right. My number 1-800-375-28-72.

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