Nostalgic episode of Tommy & MJ’s favorite catastrophic but so fun trip to Orlando

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Alright guys, we are back. I am so excited.

Because you guys are listening to, I guess you're tuning in.

I mean, I hope you are. Right Tom?

Well, they wouldn't be hearing. It's like a tree falling in the middle of the woods.

They wouldn't hear what you're saying unless they were listening to it.

We love you guys, and today you are going to be in for such a funny fucking story.

Yeah, I told you it was a blast too.

At this point in our relationship, we are about to embark upon our first time getting on an airplane together.

So obviously you're going to hear both our points of view.

Yeah, and this wasn't a pleasure trip.

It wasn't a vacation of any sense. It was a trip.

Tommy goes, if you're going to be on reality TV, you got to find something to do.

You love Pablo. You always talk about Pablo.

You need to create a foundation, a legacy for Pablo.

So off we go to the world pet expo in Orlando, Florida.

Well, listen, she's kind of oversimplifying things.

You know, if you're going to be on any of these types of shows,

you should have some sort of products.

You should have something out there that you're going to make, cancel every money on.

That's one of the advantages of being on these shows.

At the time, she was very much into Pablo.

She still talk about Pablo.

She would actually sing to Julio that the wrong dog died.

I don't want to talk about Pablo because I don't want to get sad.

And all I'm willing to say about Pablo and I'm not joking because I don't want to continue this story.

I want to skip this part.

Let's get back on track rather than talking about death.

We're going to talk about our first trip to Orlando,

which was the world pet expo because you decided that it was important for me to have a legacy.

Well, again, she's overstating this simply.

It was timing.

She got to continue to talk about Pablo a lot.

This world pet expo.

They only have it once a year, maybe twice, whatever.

It's the biggest pet expo on the planet.

It's a world pet expo.

Like, she should try to do something for Pablo.

Why don't we go check this expo out and see if there you can come home with an idea.

You know, at the time I was thinking that she should do some sort of pet line door collar

or something like that.

And I thought, wow, my boyfriend has entrepreneurial acumen.

Like, for me, I was impressed that I was not thinking about legacy and creating stuff that's important.

And like, I remember feeling like, oh, my God, he actually has a business mind,

and I so don't, and it was like a huge turn on to me that you had this entrepreneurial aspect to you

because so far it was only what we knew up to that part that was mostly like having sex,

making each other laugh, showing each other like who we are.

But you know what I mean?

Yeah.

I mean, what do we say?

Do the women know what I mean?

Like, when you're getting to know a guy, you get to know a guy on different levels.

And then when you get to know that he's taking us to Orlando of all places,

which no one would ever, ever, ever travel to like a random city across the country.

You do realize that Disney World's in Orlando, right?

It's probably one of the most travel to cities in the world.

But like, you showed me your chops on a side of you that I didn't know

because I was getting to know different aspects of you, which was much more sexual.

So the impetus for this trip is completely business related

and was very spur of the moment.

Like, I had to take some time off of work, but as minimal time as possible,

she had some things in her schedule.

So it was very last minute, very spur of the moment.

And it wasn't a romantic or a pleasure trip for our first trip.

It was strictly business.

And because of that, I planned and booked the trip.

I wasn't looking for, you know, any type of extra curricular activities or anything like that.

I was looking for as no frills as possible.

And this is the first time, you know, traveling with my wife who I love to death.

But sometimes she's going to say things that she doesn't necessarily mean.

Especially when you get to the, for example, when we were in the wooing phase

that we talked about and, you know, the courting phase.

Yeah, when we were wooing each other.

When you cared about like impressing my friends, you fully did that.

I'm talking about when we were just texting with each other.

Okay.

I would told you I'd make a baseball fan I was and then I played softball all the time.

And she told me, oh, yeah, I'm a big softball player too.

I'm a big softball player.

Big softball player.

I am.

I played high school.

No, the community center.

No, yeah, no.

She said, I played high school too.

So one of the first things when we were together, my buddy Joe has a league that every now and then

he would ask me to fill in and they needed a girl because it was co-ed.

So he, I said, you know, my girlfriend, she's a big softball player.

She's a big softball player.

She's a big softball.

Yeah, we're coming.

We're coming down.

We're going to come.

Let's go.

Let's go.

We get to the field.

I look like a girl that played high school softball because I'm first of all way too short.

And I don't have the, like, the arm strength or the arm at all whatsoever.

And you know that.

None of that is true.

First of all, she's very quick, like a jackrabbit.

Very quick, very quick, like a jackrabbit.

She's very, very quick.

But we get to the field and she doesn't even know what way the bases go.

Like, you know, like what direction first is she didn't know she went, which way do I go?

No.

Which way do I go?

That way.

No, he went.

Which way do I go?

That way.

And they, these ruthless, ruthless animals that were in this Sunday beer softball league.

They were.

Through this woman to the wolves.

Yes.

They made it be the catcher.

Yeah.

So she was literally involved in every play.

Yeah.

And after every time she would catch the ball, she would ask, who do I throw it back to?

Who do I, him, him, right?

Him, right?

Him, right?

And I couldn't.

And I couldn't make it to the pitcher's mound.

She'd come up from the catcher's spot.

No.

She's lefty.

So she looks like she's throwing to, you know, right field and she's throwing it the other direction.

It's just, it was all, it was.

That's true.

She did not look like she had any experience playing when she's softball on any type of organized

level.

So she greatly exaggerated her softball capabilities.

But she was quick, man.

She was quick, like a jackrabbit.

She flew around the basis.

What's your point of this story?

Anyway, I digress sometimes when you know my wife, your mind goes in different directions

because there's a lot to, it encompasses a lot.

But going back to what I was saying with your Orlando trip.

You weren't saying anything about Orlando at all.

No, I was saying that you literally didn't say a thing about Orlando except Pablo's

pauses.

No, I was saying that you sometimes overstate your agreeance to something.

And when I booked this trip, I booked it really no frills.

And she, that sound cool.

And sound like she was a real down chick made it seem like, yeah, totally fine.

Where we stand?

Motel six.

Oh, yeah, sure.

Sounds great.

Can't wait.

So each part of this trip was cheaper and no more frills than the next part.

Well, the thing that you're saying is that you made a hotel six, a motel, it's terrible.

Are you telling me that you tried to book the motel six?

No, I'm trying to.

I'm trying to build it up.

And it was sold out because the hotel that we actually stayed in was motel six, six,

six.

But we have to tell the story in the way that it's starting from, no, what I'm saying

is.

I'm talking about, once we had the idea, when I had the idea for the trip, we planned

it.

It was all real spur of the moment again.

This was not going to be a romantic trip, usually the first trip that you take with

a significant other is going to be one that like you're going to romance, you know what

I mean?

You're going to do something, getting a getaway, maybe going up to a beach.

We were going to the closest and cheapest hotel.

If there was a four seasons in Orlando by the convention stator, that's not the hotel

we chose.

It wasn't even an option.

Before you go there, my thing is like, I'm a woman who's into you and I'm like really

excited because we're going on a plane together.

So I want to like take a little walk down like the topic of how do you pack for your first

time that you're going to be going to an airplane, going to a hotel, waking up together, being

in a state that you haven't traveled to ever before, being excited about it, even if

it's business, it didn't matter because it was still with the guy that I just fell in

love with and met and all of the stuff that's going on with us and it's going to be like

very much a test to the relationship.

How do you travel, right?

Tell me, it's like a new experience on another level of things that you don't know about

the person is going to expose itself.

And I have an example and I'll wait to share it.

For me, I really was looking at it as this is just business, we're just going down there

just to get a lay of the land, just to kind of, you know, see if there's anybody out there

that we want to work with or, you know, what it entails, just more of a fact finding

mission for me.

But what did you pack for that trip?

Because as a woman, before you go on a plane, you know you're going to get airplane light,

before you go on a trip with somebody that you care about, you're going to make sure

that the angle of the sun is hitting your face when you wake up on a pillow from the

dead of sleep that you're going to be able to, you're right, I forgot it, I was thinking

about all that too.

What do you pack?

I pack lingerie.

Obviously, you want it to get sexy, even though if it's a business trip, you're still

going to be laying down and you're in that phase where like you want every time that you

go into bed to be like showing off either your Calvin Klein thong underwear or you're like

silky white lace number that reminds you from the girl that Al Pacino married in the

Godfather too, that God shot, that got blew up in the car.

The woman that this is what goes on in my mind before I'm about to get on a plane with

you to go on our first trip, even if it's a business trip, everything.

And this reminds me of when you touched my hair that wasn't my hair because it was weave

your reaction to that, like there were levels of comfort that we checked off the boxes.

This I feel like was very uncomfortable for like when a girl, still to this day of course

even though this is a story from our past to this day, my girlfriends are like, what

do you do when they want to like touch your hair and kiss you for the first time or

when you wake up and like you have to take your clip in hair out?

You know what I'm talking about?

So anyway, I packed for my best, I waxed in like, quaffed everything to the tits and

to the nines and to diamonds, diamond status, we get in our car to the airport.

And mind you again, this was all last minute.

So in her last minute, she still found time to go do all that because she did.

She ran around all over town, like the day before we left.

I could have been getting ready for my prom, like same things that you do, the salon and

then I overpacked for that trip.

So then what happens?

Totally overpacked for the trip.

There's something you guys don't know about me.

I was a lot messier before, but I'm still messy.

I can't help it, but like be that person that might lose her phone, I'm a train wreck.

Traveling with her.

I am a wreck.

Traveling with her.

It's akin to like punishment and you're just as bad.

No, I'm easy as hell.

No, more importantly, I know what things are.

She'll literally stick something in her pocket in front of you and then be like, where

does she just put that?

It's what I can be looking at my phone and being like, where's my phone?

Where's my phone?

Yes.

Very much.

So when you have that type of cookiness, minute to minute could be very, very, very traumatizing.

Then we get out of the Uber and we're in Orlando.

So we've taken this 45-minute long Uber ride from the airport to this hotel and it was

a nasty hotel.

It was, it was, it was bad.

Remember the cab driver told us, yo, you sure you're staying here?

Exactly.

It was like a, this is not a nice hotel.

This is not a good area.

You should be here.

I guess you didn't read like any ratings.

Yeah.

Again, I looked for proximity and cheapness.

We could have gotten bedmites from that shit.

We could have for sure come home with some kind of disease or a might.

Now, one of the things you have to know about my wife is that she has an irrational, phobia

fear of cockroaches, like, it's, yeah, she's not, she's not scared of a lot, you know,

I've seen her.

I'm not afraid of anything.

I've seen her not be fearful when a lot of people would be fearful or especially,

thank you.

You know, someone from her upbringing, but she's not fearful except when it comes to

the cockroaches.

She can't handle it.

And you walked into this hotel and the roaches were pissed that we were in the room.

Yeah, man.

Like, what are you doing?

We're playing cards.

Yeah, totally.

You know what I mean?

And we had to sleep with the lights on.

Yeah.

No, she made it.

But why did we stay?

Because this is so crazy, like, were we both in, like, comas?

I know it seems like, but 2014 is a lot different from 2020.

The technologies come a long way just in the, there was a technology, yeah, that's

technology.

Technology.

Yeah.

Technology's come a very long way in the last, even just the last few years.

There wasn't the ready made available apps, like Airbnb, if it existed, didn't exist

on that level where we knew the, like, no, not Airbnb.

Nothing was like, there was a hotel's app and a hotels.com and there were reviews and

there was a Yelp.

But there wasn't any availability because of the convention, it was the largest pet

expo in the history of the country in the, in the world.

So there was nowhere else to go.

Everywhere else was booked up.

I think we also decided that we weren't going to spend, like, $600 or so.

No, we didn't even have that.

You had no problem doing that once you saw the cockroaches.

We had no problem upgrading, but you couldn't get anywhere.

Those were the first rooms to go.

The fact that you couldn't even get a room anymore in a hotel.

Again, she's minimizing the size and scope of this pet expo.

It's tremendous.

It's the size of, like, five football fields.

I don't think we met, like, by no frills that we were going to have a family of wildlife

in our hotel room and had to sleep with the lights on.

It was crazy.

I can't, like, I can't believe that place still existed.

You know, they mean like it should, that place should have been closed down 20 years

prior to that.

Condemned.

Yeah, for sure.

For sure.

So then my credit card had fallen out of my pocket while we were on the plane and I

don't find this out until later, which means that I don't have my main accent.

Like, I didn't, I'm not one of those people who travels with multiple cards and I just

needed that one and it was lost.

So then we have the Uber to take me to a local branch of our bank and they provide me with

an emergency temporary card.

So the Uber is running super kind.

I don't know how we're paying him, but it's got to be a super expensive Uber because the

airport to the branch of the bank and then to our nasty hotel.

By this point, he's like, if they're boozey enough to have a bank account, then what

are they doing at this hotel?

For sure.

This hotel is probably perfectly suited for like people who want by the hour rental, like

a private place to do something wrong.

Yeah, if you want to murder someone to be a great place to put it to bring him.

Yeah.

Stash a body.

I think it said in the upper view.

I think it.

Yeah.

This is a great place for murder.

Too bad.

We didn't read the upper view.

Yeah, great.

Like Norman Bates saw that hotel was like, that place is a dump.

This stays your way better of a researcher.

Because I learned lessons from things like that.

But I also remember that it was, it was real difficult to get transportation there.

Yes, because people don't have taxis.

They have cars.

That's why we, that's a place where you don't go and Uber.

Yeah, there was, this is like pre-Uber.

You know, we got the air Uber from the airport because you could get an Uber from the

airport.

Right.

Wherever we were, we could not get any full material like cabs will not come.

It's like my wife and I are in Orlando starving.

So she and I go for a walk thinking that we can like walk to something as if it's like

the streets of Queensman or New York where you could just find like 10 Italian restaurants

or Beverly Hills.

Like we're going to run into like El Pistillo and Portavia and Cheesecake Factory.

No.

We are in a suburban area.

Oh, yeah.

It's like near the airport.

It's a convention center.

There's crocodiles.

And swamplands.

Yeah, there's nothing there, but it's flat land.

So like you could see where the stores are, but it looks, it's like miles.

So we're like, yeah, we're going to walk over to the store.

We saw where there was a Walmart and something else.

We're like, all right, we're going to walk to that.

And we get out on our track and before we know, we're like, yo, this is really far.

And I'm in heels still.

Yeah, she's at this point in a relationship.

She didn't let me see her in anything but heels.

Well, nobody saw me in anything but heels.

My shower saw me in my clear stripper.

Yeah, I think you were wearing heels in the shower and the pool then too.

Yes.

I would always wear the loose sight, seamless, elongating for the leg.

We had to learn the hard way that there's no one that's going to pick us up, but we'll

hoof it.

And then as we started to hoof it, we were so starved that we ended up what rolling

into Popeyes.

In Popeyes, they had like some special, and I bought like a that, it was like a bucket

of fruit punch for like $3 or whatever it was, I thought it was a great deal.

So I get this bucket of fruit punch, this trough full of fruit punch.

And I'm sitting there with, uh, with Donnie, and now we got to track it back to this

looking hotel.

And I'm like, I'm not carrying this bucket of fruit punch with me, but it'd be a sin.

Like it'd be a sin to throw it out.

I had maybe a glass of fruit punch out of this bucket and someone else is sitting there

and he works there, you know, like he works there, but he's on his lunch break.

He's eating a sandwich.

So I offer him, I tell him, Hey, buddy, do you want, do you want some of my leftover fruit

punch?

So, so the look on my face.

Yes, she was, she said, oh my God, I am so mortified right now.

I can't even believe I'm here with you.

He does not want your fruit punch.

I love she.

I looked at you and I go, did you just offer that nice gentleman?

You're left over fucking soft drink.

It was definitely for whole use.

It wasn't for eating in the restaurant, but she ripped me.

She, the guy looked at me like I had like, I was from Mars.

Yeah, man.

Yeah.

That was.

It was so weird of you to do that, but yeah, it took that trip to find that out about

you.

For whatever reason, we were walking down the street with like $3,000 cash, which was

another brand of like, why, why didn't you need that much money?

Like, these days, I don't have 50 cents to my name cash.

That happened after she lost the card.

So we go to the bank, she gets a new card.

The card's going to work within like a few hours.

So we'll go right to be safe.

We'll both take out as much cash as we possibly can, you know?

And listen, you know, it's not a nice day.

But it's tough to tell.

It's blue skies are sunshine everywhere.

So it's tough to tell that you're in a bad neighborhood.

You know what I mean?

I had a ton of money on me, a bucket of fruit punch, because I refused to throw the fruit

punch out.

So I walked back to the hotel with the fruit punch.

Oh, man.

We could have been in an affluent part of Orlando, but nobody walks.

So the only people that are walking the streets were us.

So anyone who would notice us would be like, who the fuck are those weirdos?

And that's when a bus comes rolling down the street.

And we look at each other.

We were like, are we getting on that bus?

And you were like, are you willing to get on a bus?

And I was like, of course, that might have been our first and last for the state of Florida.

Oh, yeah.

That was the public transportation.

That was the best, the last one was public transportation as we take it for sure.

Let you guys, all those things I took on the trip when I was packing back in LA, thinking

this was going to be a romantic trip somewhere when, like, once the business part of the day

was done, I'm still getting into bed with this man that I'm madly and newly in love with.

So I pack a Roma therapy.

I've packed all of these, like, you know, casual lingerie, like the white lace cotton

in a santa lingerie slip, and then once we get to the room and I see that there's like

sticky pieces of floor, you can't walk barefoot.

Yeah, you wouldn't even let us open our bags up.

No.

No, you weren't even allowed to.

No.

No.

Don't tell them no.

Tell them hell no.

And the best is, you know, a hotel's, their job is to a comedy, like that's in the title.

When she went to complain to the, like, to the front desk, and you got to understand

my wife is a professional at, you know, being the squeaky wheel.

And normally when she's squeaky, she gets a lot of grease.

And she went down there and then, she went down there to yell and scream, and they were

like, whatever.

You know, like, you know what it means?

Shit happens.

They're like, sure, ma'am.

Yeah, whatever, ma'am.

Sorry.

Don't let the door hit you.

You know what I say?

You want to leave?

You know what I mean?

Sure, ma'am.

We'll get right on top of that.

I don't think there was even anyone at the front desk.

Anyway.

So once I see, like, we're dealing with sticky floors and actual bugs, then I can't even

see the word CR because it's disgusting.

No.

I don't want to unpack and get sexy.

It was a little bit of a molecular.

That was slept in our clothes.

A little, yes.

So we put all of my clothes on.

We didn't even want to peel back the cover or the sheets.

There was like cockroaches on the wall, not just like you caught one right outside by

the front door because it hit the street or the asphalt.

No, they were there, man.

The lights were on, suffice it to say all night long until dawn and then we got the fuck

out of there.

We were exhausted from the pet expo, which we walked a lot and did we take Julio?

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

We saw Ken and Lisa.

She was there with Jiggy and Ken and that was really cute.

So if you then go back home to LA and people ask you how was your first trip together, then

you're right.

When you say this was like all business, it ended up being a nightmare, traumatic.

But again, it was a great trip for a building block of our relationship because at this

point in time, it had been pretty much all rainbows and unicorns between us.

We end up pulling in all nighters, sleeping with the lights on because I was too scared

to sleep with the lights off.

So at one point during this all nighter that we were pulling, we both doze off and over

sleep.

So by the time that we wake up and get everything packed and the car is downstairs, taxi, who

doesn't give a fuck, we are late for the airport.

Then we get to the airport and we fucking miss our flight.

Oh, yeah, there was no credit.

There was no like, oh, we'll use this ticket toward.

You know, we paid for a brand new ticket on some extra airline, which meant more dragging

your bags from one airport terminal to another airline terminal.

And then having to wait and the seats were uncomfortable and was hot in the layovers

and were hungry and bloated and the cortisol was so high because your stress hormone, cortisol,

one of them anyway, will literally bloat you and make you dehydrated.

And when telling our story and you talk about, you know, our first trip together, it was

a nightmare.

It was the trip from hell.

But again, it was also, you know, it was a fundamental building block of our relationship

because it was two days of tired, nut sleeping, aggravation with the other.

We're blaming each other for so it was basically two days of turmoil and fighting.

And here we are still here today.

So we got through it, you know, we made it to the other side.

The relationship was tested.

Yeah.

It was tested.

It was very much so tested intensely for a three day period and, you know, we came out

on the other side and I think we are better for it.

Definitely because before you're willing to walk down the aisle with someone and marry

them, you want to know that you've experienced things that will test your character, test

your dynamic, test your chemistry, test your crisis management together as a couple.

Like what's going to happen when the shit hits the fan and you've lost your money and

you have no access to like safety and there's all these layers of stress, how are we going

to interact with each other in a way that are we going to kill each other?

Are we going to make each other cry?

Are we going to like even jab the dagger deeper into our whatever groin or are you going

to rally and find your way to like one of you, maybe sometimes at the one that rescues.

And there are moments where I was like the voice of reason and then you would give me

a hug and tell me that you love me and like, of course, we would fight and we're melting

like you have spiraling too.

Yeah, but within the bickering, there was still enough joy, there was still enough laughter

because you and I can always find stuff to laugh at.

That's why we're here together.

That's why it's always worked because even in the darkest periods, we still always find

stuff to laugh at.

It is the darkest before the dawn, you know, that's what they say.

Yeah.

Honestly, like if you are in a relationship and you can remind yourself to laugh at stuff

when shit's going down, if you can like tie a little reminder bracelet, like a thread

to say, I need to remember to laugh in sticky situations.

This is my man.

We're trying to have fun for the rest of our lives together while navigating through

life.

So we could be, you know, take a pause, take a beat.

We said sometimes you might need to walk away from each other, but always try to find

something a common denominator, something you both laugh at, something you both find funny.

And if you could get back to that, you could keep moving forward.

What I noticed we used to do more was one of us would get the other one worked up and

then it would get back and forth.

It would be like when you say to someone like, calm down, relax, like that's never going

to work.

You would do that more for longer, whereas nowadays I feel like one of us does that and

then the other one takes a reset and we get better.

All right, guys.

So now we want to hear from you, my wife asked to follow us this week about what it's

like to take your first trip or do you have any questions regarding taking your first trip

with your significant other.

First question comes from Sarah.

I just got back from my first trip with my boo.

I must say it was super disappointing because he didn't have anything planned.

No restaurant reservations, no activities, nothing.

Was that on me?

So I think that means like straight from jump, you need to decide, are you going to be

the planner or the planning?

Also don't you think both of you can be involved in planning because I don't like it when

people try to woo you and court you and then they're always saying like, what do you want

to do?

No, no, no.

A man has to have a plan.

That includes when you go on trips.

I think it depends on each person, you know, some guys are easy going and don't really

care and you know, other women are a little bit more picky or the same thing can be reversed,

you know, with the guy who has tons of things he wants to do and the girl doesn't want

to leave the room.

But babe, like you just got off a plane, don't play, don't try me, don't test yourself,

you want things to remain smooth, you want to be able to have a good time.

It's just like.

You also don't want to, you know, if you're someone that you get up every day and you

go to work and you have, you know, your schedule and you have things that you have to do,

you don't want to get off the plane and feel like there's a gun to your head, you know,

to that you're going to miss this and you have to get to that and you're constantly running

to fill in the time when a lot of people just want to relax and, you know, sit in bed

watch TV or maybe sit by the pool and drink margaritas so I think you should know in advance

that you're going to fly by the seat of your pants.

And we're like, hey babe, so do we have any reservations for like Vegas or the city

said city?

You have to be like, if you say no or yes and I care what your response was, then it's

upon me to say, actually, I think we should have some reservations to keep you on the safe

side.

If you don't have that type of thing worked out, you might find that out on your first

trip.

Our second question is from Mandy and Minneapolis.

I love you by the way, Mandy.

And I love that name, my, we've been together for six months.

Should I be covering the whole trip?

Okay, money questions.

I love to give financial advice.

I think in a relationship by the time you take your first trip, you've already been

seeing how it's going.

Are we going dutch?

Like are we taking turns?

Because like with Tommy and me, we didn't have expenses in the equation because he was

coming over to my house and we were ordering pizza and we would have, I would have like

the boons were already in the freezer or the fridge, right Tommy?

Yeah.

But then like by the time we like a man takes me out for the first time to a restaurant,

I would expect him to pay for the whole thing because if every time you're coming over

to my house, then I'm going to trouble and making sure there's fresh cup flowers.

I'm making sure the diptych candles are burning and I'm at home.

So as a person, I have to be a good hostess and provide a spread of whatever we're having.

Then once we step out that door, you're paying for everything.

And then if it comes to a trip, it's a different story.

I think it depends on whose idea the trip was.

If it's a mutual idea like we should take a trip together, then yeah, we could, we should

sit down and work out the expenses and see how, you know, what we're willing to spend.

But if it's something like I want to take you away, then it's a little bit in common

upon the person who had the suggestion.

I like that.

I respect that because then you could say, I want to show you something like maybe in a

relationship like one of you has been really overworked and you've been absent and you want

to come back and you want to make it up to the guy and you want to be like, Hey, I care.

So maybe since I've been the busy one for the last three weeks, I can actually plan a

weekend and now we can like catch up and have QT and let me actually take care of everything

honey.

Yes, I think that that's the way to do it.

The final question for this week, we, I'll go with, I'm nervous about sharing a bathroom

in a hotel room for the first time.

How do I prep for this?

That's a great question.

That's that's actually the question of the week.

You know, what I hate about it's when you have that crossover from like he's never even

hurt me.

Let me tell you this, don't pull the, I'm going to go take a shower and then lock yourself

in the room for fucking two hours.

And when you walk out, it don't smell like anything got clean in there.

Okay.

So if they want to, yeah, yeah, I'm going to, you know, I'm getting, I'm going to go

take a shower like random too, you know, it's like middle of the afternoon, like, yeah,

I'm going to don't do that.

First of all, it's such a liar because it's not what we do.

We're very smart.

We know to light a match.

We know to do the shower last year, but then it just smells like a match.

That's actually not even true.

So first of all, we think, oh, wow, someone having a camp fire in here, we have a smores

around the toilet bowl.

What are we doing?

I don't like hearing.

Yeah, no, but I'm just, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Yes man.

Don't want to think of their wife or their significant others going in, and taking a, you

know, pinched a loaf.

So you're like, you just, you kind of separated, you know.

My advice would be, you know, don't don't use spicy food.

Don't eat things that are going to come shooting out the other end rather quickly.

No, that's not even, it doesn't even have to get to that.

There are women that won't even go to the bathroom for five days because they know they're

going to take like the, the,

call those an anti-diarrheal and constipation something like that. Yeah. So the thing that you have

to do is go to the hotel lobby bathroom. That's what you do. That's say that wife is genius.

And then you just say, oh, I'm going to go for a walk. I'm going to make a quick phone call.

I have a quick whatever cameo to do. Trust me. I'm going to call my mom quick. You can

just keep saying quick. We know you're going to be gone for a minute. But if you're talking about

flushing in a situation where it's like an Airbnb and you don't have a lobby bathroom in a hotel,

then you have to do what's called the concurrent flush P. So you're flushing as you release.

And that way it'll never even sit. It just is moving right down to the sewer system or whatever.

That's how you avoid creating any odor whatsoever if it's a number two. And then that's also why you

can bring, you know, like really pungent like air fresheners that are designed for that girl.

This is the 2021's honey. You need to catch the fuck up with what women do because we know how to

handle shit. Dumping for dummies. Nothing to do with s'mores and fucking campfires. Okay. So

goodbye and good night. Thank you guys so much for listening to another episode of Tilda Dirt

with Tommy and MJ. We're so happy you're coming on this journey with us. It would mean so much to

us if you would rate our show, give us five stars, leave a nice comment and subscribe so that you

can stay up to date with all our new episodes. You could also follow us on all platforms at Tilda

Dirt with Tommy and MJ. See you next week.

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