Our Marriage Breakdown

In this episode of Grounded Union Podcast, hosts Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen pull back the curtain on the painful and transformative journey of their marriage. From youthful naivety to a devastating breakdown in 2019, they reveal how hidden struggles, denial structures, and deep-seated beliefs about love and sexuality nearly tore them apart. Brandon's years of deception—justified by religious paradigms—led to a cycle of betrayal and broken trust, while Caitlyn stood firm in her standards for intimacy and transparency. Together, they share how they dismantled toxic cycles, faced their deepest wounds, and rebuilt a marriage based on radical honesty and genuine connection. If you've ever wondered if true healing is possible after betrayal, this episode is your proof that it is. 💛

Our 2025 Grounded Union 2-Day Workshops:
📍 Mesa, Arizona – April 12th & 13th
📍 Portland, Oregon – June 7th & 8th
📍 San Diego, California – August 22nd & 23rd (In-Person & Virtual)
📍 Maui, Hawaii – October 10th-13th (3-Day Marriage Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included!)
Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshops

Looking for immediate support in your marriage?
Community for Men: Tap here to join the app with a 14-day FREE trial

Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshops
Grounded Intimacy Program: For couples working through broken trust, tap here for more info
Follow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksen
YouTube Show available here

Timestamps & Key Moments

• 00:00:28 – Welcome to the Grounded Union Podcast! Brandon and Caitlyn introduce their story and the importance of honoring your own marriage journey.
• 00:01:30 – The early years: Getting married young, checking all the “right” boxes, and still feeling unprepared.
• 00:02:39 – The first betrayal: Caitlyn discovers Brandon looking at inappropriate content—not porn, but still a breach of trust.
• 00:04:09 – Lies, emotional shutdown, and living a double life while in ministry.
• 00:07:04 – The toxic five-year cycle: Lies, promises, and repeated betrayal.
• 00:10:56 – "It’s all the same at the root": Why all forms of betrayal, big or small, stem from unhealed traumas and cultural mindsets.
• 00:16:36 – 2019: The breaking point. Caitlyn draws a line—no more lies, no more empty promises.
• 00:21:02 – Denial structures: How men justify their behavior and why breaking through requires total honesty.
• 00:25:07 – The painful truth: If you don’t face reality, the cycle will continue.
• 00:32:51 – Holding the standard: Why Caitlyn refused to lower her expectations, and how that saved their marriage.
• 00:40:14 – A pivotal moment: A Christian counselor exposes his own biases, leading Brandon to choose his marriage over broken male paradigms.
• 00:45:44 – The decision: Brandon finally commits to total transparency and healing.