PRIVILEGED daughter refers to solo father as PENNILESS failure and CRITICIZES father on

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I hope you enjoy this story. Privileged daughter refers to solo father as

penniless failure and criticizes father on the internet for not funding $150,000 celebration.

He decides to terminate assistance. Greetings, all. I, a 44-year-old man, have a daughter named

Trisha, who is 23 years old. Who's getting married to her boyfriend Jerry, 26M, in a couple of months.

I had Trisha when I was in my early twenties, just six months into my marriage. My wife,

unfortunately, passed away shortly after due to an epileptic seizure. As a single father,

my only goal in life has been to ensure that Trisha has the best life possible.

I threw myself into work after my wife's demise, like most people do. It was my sister who would

take care of Trisha at home and then I'd take over after work hours. I worked hard, got promoted

and all my money went into raising my daughter and giving her everything she wanted.

So needless to say, Trisha was spoiled and I am completely responsible for that.

I always assumed that I was doing it in her best interests and just gave her whatever she

ever asked for because I could afford it. My sister advised me against it several times,

but I didn't listen to her because my daughter was my weak spot, I couldn't say no to her.

I'd been warned that it would go wrong and it finally backfired about a week ago,

when Trisha told me that she wanted me to pay for her wedding.

She wanted an extremely fancy wedding in her budget sat at somewhere around $150,000.

There were a lot of guests, some people whom she didn't even know that well,

but she wanted to invite them, several different kinds of food, and an exorbitantly priced venue.

Not just that, but she wanted me to pay for a custom-made designer wedding gown and all her

jewelry, as well as her bridesmaids. Now I'm not a miser and I'm a pretty well-off man,

but $150,000 was a bit too much, even for me.

I had my own business now but spending that sort of money on a wedding would wreak havoc on my finances.

So with a heavy heart, I had to inform Trisha that I could not afford to pay for a wedding like

that and she had to downscale or at least contribute to it herself. She seemed disappointed and

asked me if I didn't have a wedding fund set aside for her and I did, but that was just $75,000.

For starters, I didn't expect her to believe that I'd pay for the entire wedding.

The most I thought she'd asked me to pay for would be maybe the venue or the catering or maybe both,

but not all the expenses. And secondly, I didn't expect her to get married so early so I didn't

have enough time to save for her wedding either. Besides, she and Jerry had only been together for a

year and they could wait for a while before they got married and until then I could put some more

money together or maybe they could also get better jobs and contribute to the wedding costs themselves.

I explained all of this to her but she didn't seem to understand and only through a fit

then left my house angrily. She was mad at me because I'd said that I couldn't afford the wedding

but she knew that I could, I just didn't want to spend that amount of money on something like a wedding.

She accused me of being selfish and said that I wouldn't think twice if this was some business

deal. I didn't know how to explain to her that those were two entirely different things so I let

that go. I felt bad about it and decided after a while that I was going to take out a personal

loan so that I'd be able to pay for her wedding and spoke to one of my banker friends immediately

about it. I could always just repay it gradually over time so I didn't think it was a big deal.

She didn't talk to me for the next two days and I decided that I'd only reach out to her once

I'd finalize the loan. However, she made a scathing Facebook post on the third day and

referred to me as a broke loser in it. She accused me of being selfish and only focusing on my work,

never being there for her as a kid and even implied that her mother probably passed away because

of my negligence which was a really nasty thing to say. Then she said that I was a selfish

workaholic who couldn't think of anything apart from myself and my business but in spite of that

I was still somehow a broke loser. It was a slap on the face and I blocked her immediately after

that post. I didn't even touch my phone or log into any of my social media for a couple of hours

after that. I was completely MIA so my sister decided to pay me a visit out of concern and when she

came by I ended up breaking down in front of her. The things that Trisha had said cut deep and I

was pretty depressed for that day and also the next couple of days. I didn't speak to anybody

outside of work and could barely even bring myself to get out of bed for the next couple of days

so my sister stayed with me and took care of me. She'd also spoken to Trisha and made her take that

post down but it didn't matter anymore because now I knew exactly what my daughter thought of me

and it broke my heart. I couldn't think of a single thing that I wanted to say to her so I just

didn't speak to her and I only unblock her yesterday when I was finally feeling a little better.

My sister had already given Trisha an earful but I couldn't let this go until I spoke to her myself.

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I'd already canceled the loan and this is going to be terrible, but I really wanted to hurt my

daughter emotionally because she'd done the same to me. I know that she's my daughter and I shouldn't

say or feel things like this, but I just really wanted her to know how I felt and I wanted her to

feel what I felt, to be more precise. So I unblocked her and decided to wait for her to call.

And she finally did call me last evening. She started by apologizing and told me that she was

just really angry and ended up saying a lot of things that she didn't mean because she was

disappointed that she couldn't have the wedding of her dreams. Even while she was apologizing,

she didn't sound very genuine or apologetic. She just sounded annoyed and I felt more agitated

when I heard her speaking in that tone. So I stopped her apology then and there and told her what

I'd been planning to do with the loan and the surprise that I'd been keeping from her.

She sounded thrilled for a moment until I told her that I'd canceled it after her post and now

I wouldn't be covering any of the wedding expenses. So she could find a way to pay for it herself

since she was so independent and I was so selfish. She was about to say something but I continued

and told her that since I was so selfish, I wanted her to repay me for everything that I spent

on her after she turned a team. It wasn't fair of me to ask that of her and I didn't want any of

the money back. But I just wanted her to feel bad about herself, so I told her that I wanted every

single dime back and it was quite a lot of money. Her college tuition and accommodation had all been

paid for by me since she didn't want to live on campus and wanted her own apartment.

She also used to go shopping quite frequently with her friends and would often treat them to

expensive trips because she knew that I'd paid for it all. She was spoiled rotten and she took

advantage of it. So I told her to pay me back for all of it and then we'd never have to speak to

each other again. She wouldn't have to keep in touch with a broke loser like her dad and I

wouldn't have to ever speak to a nasty, spoiled, and ill mannered brat like her and it'd be great

for both of us. By the time I got to that last part, I was practically screaming into the phone

because I was so enraged and all the feelings that I'd been suppressing for the past couple of

days just bubbled up to the surface and I couldn't hold it back anymore. So once I was done yelling

at her, I disconnected the call and laid back on the couch, trying to calm myself down.

My sister had come out of the kitchen when she heard me yelling and she'd overheard me telling

Trisha to pay me back. She didn't say anything in the immediate aftermath but I could tell that she

had a lot of opinions about what happened. So she waited until the evening and brought it up at

dinner. She told me that I was equally responsible for the way that Trisha turned out because I was the

one who spoiled her. Now I couldn't just blame it all on her because she didn't raise herself.

I did this. She believes that it was unfair of me to be so hard on her, despite whatever she'd

said. She thinks that the right thing for me to do would have been just to cut her off until she

apologized to me genuinely and not just for the sake of it. She knew that this apology came just

because Trisha was facing a lot of backlash from our relatives and probably some of her sensible

friends as well. Because whatever she'd said was really below the belt and unfair to me.

But the way I reacted to it was equally ridiculous and I shouldn't have let anger get the

better of me because, at the end of the day, I was the one who raised her and created this person.

She went on to remind me of all the times that Trisha had been horrible to other people,

be it our relatives or her friends, and said that I'd never, ever had much to say against her at

the time only because it wasn't happening to me. I'd maybe just scold her just a little but

there were never any real consequences, simply because I believed that she'd grow out of it.

But now that Trisha was finally targeting me and I was the one at the receiving end of her cruelty,

I could finally see the person that I'd created and now there was nobody left to blame but myself.

Apparently, I'd still had a chance to make things right by letting her come to her senses on her own.

But instead, I acted like a child and did the same thing that Trisha would have done in my place.

I was vindictive and unnecessarily cruel, which put me in the same position as her.

So now she's going to be even more pissed at me and is never going to realize that she did something

wrong. And I would have done a lot better if I'd just given her the silent treatment because

that way, at least I wouldn't have this on my conscience. I didn't agree with my sister at the

time and left dinner angrily, without finishing my food. We haven't spoken since last night but

now that I think of it with a cooler head, I guess I can see where she's coming from.

I also realized that I was behaving the same way as Trisha had and that wasn't a great example

to set for my daughter. But at the same time, I don't think this exactly is my fault.

Trisha is an adult and is free to make her own decisions. I didn't teach them to act this way,

I just didn't teach her not to either. I'm just confused about whether I'm the one at fault

here or not. So Ida for allegedly spoiling my daughter. Update one, hi everybody.

I realized my mistake and I have apologized to my sister, especially since she's the only

person looking out for me right now and I can't afford to have her turn her back on me.

President Barack Obama. Virginia, we are counting on you. Republicans want to steal enough seats

in Congress to raid the next election and wield unchecked power for two more years. But you can stop

by voting yes by April 21st. Help put our elections back on a level playing field and let voters

decide not politicians. Vote yes by April 21st. Paid for by Virginians for fair elections.

Are you really buying a car online on Auto Trader right now?

Really, I can get super specific with dealer listings and see cars based on my budget.

You can really have a delivered or pick it up. I think kid is walking up the slide.

Really? Auto Trader, buy your car online really.

Also, because she's right and I guess I just didn't want to admit it because then I'd have

to acknowledge my own failure as a father. I guess I never really took it seriously when

Trisha would act out and be horrible to other people because I didn't want to reprimand her.

I was a little too soft on her and now that's backfired on me because she's just a straight up

bad person. I haven't spoken to her since that phone call and neither has she tried to reach

out to me. I guess that's how it's going to be for a while now because what she said was

incredibly disrespectful and hurtful so I'm definitely not going to talk to her unless she

apologizes to me sincerely and honestly I don't see us ever reconciling in the future.

Update 2, my sister believes that this should have been my approach right from the beginning

as soon as she made that post and I agree because that phone call didn't make me any better.

If anything, it just made me realize that I'd failed as a father.

I wanted to raise a daughter who would never have to feel bad about not having a mother

and maybe that's why I went a little overboard in trying to spoil her and making sure that she had

everything that she wanted. I was overcompensating and in doing so, I guess I felt kind of behind

in actually being a father and disciplining her when I needed to. I just could never bring myself

to scold her or punish her which are equally important aspects of being a parent.

So in a way maybe it wasn't that wrong either. I had been selfish and because of my selfishness.

Now both Trisha and I were suffering. I feel bad about everything but what's done is done now.

I obviously don't want any money back from Trisha and I don't think she's going to return it to

me either. I don't regret saying it to her. I do think it was important for me to get it out of

my system but I guess I could have been gentler. I don't know her any apology so I'm just going

to continue not speaking to her. If she apologizes to me, then that's a different story but that

hasn't happened yet so I don't know. Update 3, I just received a payment of $2,000 from Trisha.

It's been about four days since my last update and we haven't spoken to each other at all in

these couple of days so I don't know what this is about. I told my sister about it and she thinks

that this probably has something to do with me telling her to repay everything that I've done

for her in the past couple of years ever since she became an adult. And I guess that's probably

what this is about as well. But I just found it a little off putting that she just decided to send

me money without even saying anything first. So I sent that money right back. I don't want it

and I don't need it. What I wanted was an apology but I'm not going to receive one so I don't

need her money either. She hasn't sent it back yet. I don't know what's going to happen now.

A few hours have passed since I posted here and just a couple of minutes after I made that update,

Trisha called me and informed me very coldly that she was just doing what I had asked her to.

And she wanted me not to make things more difficult than they already were and just accept the

money without making such a huge fuss about it. I told her that I didn't want her money and I

was just trying to make her feel just as bad as she'd made me feel when I was talking to her on

the phone the other day. She could keep her money, I really didn't want it. But she argued with

me and told me that after the way I'd insulted her on the call, she didn't feel comfortable

owing me money anymore. So I used that same logic and told her that after that Facebook post,

where she called me a selfish, broke loser, I also didn't feel comfortable taking back money

from her because that would just reinforce what she already believed about me. We were in a

deadlock and after a few seconds of silence, she just sighed and told me that she didn't know

what I wanted her to say anymore and that she was just exhausted from dealing with my weird

behavior. I just repeated the same words back to her because that's exactly how I felt about

this as well. And once again we were silent for a couple of more seconds after which Trisha told

me that she was ready to talk to me if I wanted to have a genuine discussion about our problems.

But otherwise, if I just continue to act like this then she couldn't see us ever sorting things out.

So I told her that I didn't want a discussion, the only thing that I wanted was an apology

and if she was ready to apologize, then we could talk. Or else, I had nothing to say to her.

Then I disconnected the call and that was it. She didn't say anything in neither did she text me.

I've said whatever I had to say and now, the ball is in her court.

Update four, hey guys, so it's been a couple of days since I posted here.

I still haven't heard from Trisha but Jerry posted about their breakup on social media.

I didn't find out myself but my sister was the one who told me since she keeps in touch with

her other relatives and they were the ones who saw that post as Trisha had been tagged in it.

Apparently, it was mutual or at least that's what they're telling everybody but I don't buy it.

If it actually had been mutual, then Trisha wouldn't have deactivated all her accounts just within

an hour of that post. I know that there's something fishy going on but I can't exactly

ask her what's up so I just have to figure it out for myself. My sister has a couple of theories

but all of them involve my fight with Trisha. This is why she believes that they probably

fought about something related to it and that's why they broke up. I mean it could be the case

but I really don't think that it is. However, so far I've been wrong about a lot of things so maybe

I'm wrong about this too. I wouldn't even be surprised if I am. I do want to know what happened

between Trisha and Jerry and I desperately want to console her because I know she must be feeling

like crap right now. But I can't do any of it so I'm just going to ignore it all. Update five,

okay so today I finally found out what exactly went down between Trisha and Jerry and it's bad.

Thankfully, it had nothing to do with me so my sister was wrong about that and I'm really glad

that she was because this is one mess that I'd hate to be a part of. I didn't have to ask Trisha

anything, she's the one who offered me an explanation herself a couple of days back.

For the record, we're still not on good terms. I don't know what kind of terms were on for now

so I'm going to not talk about it for a while. Anyway, I'd mentioned earlier that Trisha and Jerry

had only known each other for a year. They'd met through friends and Jerry was actually seeing

someone when he met Trisha for the first time but broke up soon after. Then, they got together

about a month after Jerry broke up with his ex. But a couple of months into the relationship,

Trisha found out that he'd been too timing her and he hadn't actually broken up with his ex.

So they had a fight about it but she didn't leave him and chose to stay.

She made him promise that he wouldn't have any contact with her again.

Then he proposed to her to show her how serious he was about her and she was rushing the

marriage because she wanted to get married and put his ex out of his mind. But recently she found

out that he'd been using a secret phone to keep in touch with his ex and this time she decided

to end things with him. This happened just a couple of days ago but Jerry begged her not to

publicize the cheating because if she did so, his family would definitely cut him off.

He was desperate and so she promised him that she wouldn't talk about it publicly,

which is why they put out a statement saying that they were parting ways mutually without

revealing the real reason for their breakup. Trisha told me that she had low-key been

suspecting that he was up to no good and that is why she'd been so edgy ever since she got engaged.

When I told her that I couldn't afford to pay for her wedding, she got really frustrated and

ended up saying a lot of horrible things about me but she promised me that she didn't mean any of it.

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But you can stop them by voting yes by April 21st. Help put our elections back on a level playing

field and let voters decide not politicians. Vote yes by April 21st.

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And it was just the ugly side of hers that had come out because of all the stress and frustration.

She apologized to me towards the end of that text and told me that she was truly and genuinely

sorry about all the things that she said. She added that she didn't expect me to forgive and

forget immediately but she hoped that we be able to reconcile in the future and that she try

to be a better daughter and also just a better person in general. I haven't replied to that

message yet because I don't know what to say. I obviously do feel bad for her and I also feel bad

for myself. My daughter was the most important person in my life and I feel like I screwed it all

up really badly. I definitely am going to reach out to her once I figure out what I'm going to say.

I do want to clear the air with her. I want her to know that no matter what, I'll always have

her back. And nothing can change that. Updates six, hi, so it's been quite a while since I even

opened Reddit but I am finally back now and with great news. Trisha and I have managed to reconcile

and it's going well so far. She apologized to me for everything and I forgave her because

she was already so miserable, it'd be wrong to add onto it. She told me that the thing with Jerry

really got to her and she started acting out but that was no excuse because she was well aware

of the fact that she wasn't the easiest person to deal with even in the past. And I was partly

responsible for it because I never scolded her or punished her or tried to shape her into a better

human being. But we're trying to work on our relationship because we know that we need to be

there for each other, especially in difficult times like these. I don't want to give up on her

and neither does she, so that's why we're going to fix our relationship and stick it out.

Now coming to Jerry, I suggested that she post the truth about what happened anyway.

He'd also promised her that he was going to stay loyal to her, but he didn't.

So she didn't need to show him any kindness and honor her own promise either.

That guy needed to be taught a lesson and so, on my insistence, Trisha did post the truth.

The two of them ended up getting into a very nasty online fight, but it just showed his true

character. Because Trisha was not in the wrong here and most people were on her side.

Apart from a few girls who just didn't like her and needed an excuse to talk badly about her.

She told me that she was glad that I insisted that she speak up and tell everybody the truth

because Jerry needed to be taken down and I'm happy that she did it.

So for now, we're working on rebuilding our relationship and I won't say that it's all

great right now. We're still in the initial stages but hopefully, we'll have a healthy father

daughter bond soon. She's also going to therapy and trying to make herself a better human being

as a my god knows that both of us needed this. We don't know what the future holds but we do know

that we're always going to try our best to make it through.