Psycho In-laws GO NUTS after they discover we CHANGED our LAST NAME out of SPITE

My entitled family treats me and my husband like garbage and have even gone as far as to call me a

gold digger and that I'm only with my husband for money. But after being mistreated by my husband's

family for so long, we both decide that enough is enough, resulting in us getting the best revenge

possible by changing our last name and disconnecting from them entirely, causing them to freak out

in a way that we truly did not expect. Here's what happened. So I got Mary three years ago to my husband

and I changed my last name to his immediately following. My relationship with my in-laws was never

super, but it was civil until about 2020 when our differences became obvious and they were hard

to reconcile. They have never welcomed me into their family and never put forth any effort to be a

part of our lives. At first, my husband just said things like, well, they're like this with new

people, or this is just how they are. Over time though, they have not only managed to alienate me,

but my husband as well. They have implied that I'm digging for gold and have called me quite a few

unpleasant names. My husband had enough with them during our first year of marriage and when he

went low contact with them, they tried guilt, manipulation, and passive aggressiveness to get

him to resume what we would call his previous role in the family. And that role was him basically

doing all the work in the relationship. Well, when that didn't work, they basically cut us off.

They never called much before, but now they never called, and then act like it's our fault when

they don't and then play the victim constantly. Now, for a bit of background, I have BPD,

which stands for Borderline Personality Disorder, and my new last name just didn't feel like me,

especially considering his family. After my diagnosis a year ago, my therapist explained sometimes

people with BPD struggle with this since we struggle with identity as well. So it's been talked

about a lot, and it was then that my husband had suggested that we both changed our last names,

and I thought it was an interesting idea. I didn't want my maiden name back because it's hard

to spell and pronounce, and it's not all that common in our country. Now, I liked his last name,

but it was such a common last name. We talked about this for about a year, and we settled on my deceased

grandmother's maiden name. It's common, it's easy to say, and it's easy to spell, and we feel this

honors my family, who we have to thank for our lovely life today. It was surprisingly easy,

we set up a court date, we filled out the papers, we had a hearing all within a few weeks,

and then we changed it on social media. Well, his family found out, and they are super pissed off,

and some of my family found out, and they're pissed off. They said we had no reason or right to do this.

I told all of them it was a decision between me and my husband, and it was not up for debate.

On his side of the family, they cut us off, and never even talked to us, and on my side,

no one even owns the name, and it left with my grandmother when she passed away. One of my aunts

tried to say that I needed their permission, but in my opinion, the only person I would need to have

permission from would be my grandma, or my father, but both of them have passed away already.

My mother thought it was a great idea, and so did my siblings, but we are getting bombarded,

and we're currently trying to gray rock all of them. But it's not like this was a rash decision,

we are both very happy with the change, but the amount of backlash I've been getting

has me wondering if we messed up by not announcing it, or telling people in advance.

What should we do? Okay, first off, you have every right to change your last name,

especially if your husband's family is going to be treating you like crap in the way that they

have been. Seriously, from day one, they've been treating you like garbage all the time,

saying that you're digging for gold, while also calling you all sorts of names,

and then also trying to like alienate you and your husband all the time. I mean, who in

their right mind would want to stay in a family like that? Like, if I was in your shoes,

I would have the same conversation. I would be super pissed off that I'm still getting treated

like garbage by these people, who literally are masquerading as family, and then they're the ones

that freak out, all because you guys say, okay, we're going low contact, this is insane.

As if they want you to stick around and enjoy this awful treatment. So in my opinion,

I don't think you're the jerk at all. If you guys want to change your last name and no longer

associate with those people, then my god, you have every right to do that. Because based on what

you've described, these people sound like an absolute nightmare. If you like Am I the jerk,

you're probably going to love Am I the Genius. Check it out, link down below in the description.

Also, go to Am I the jerk.com slash submit. If you would like to submit your own stories.

Am I the jerk for telling my friend that I was done inviting her to parties?

After she repeatedly took the leftovers that I had without asking. Here's what happened.

Okay, to start things off, I throw a lot of dinner parties, and I mean a ton. I like to cook,

so I always put food on the table. And I would say that I'm a pretty good chef.

One of my friends comes all the time. But the problem is that she takes all the leftovers.

Every single time that there's a scrap left, she decides to take it. And sure, I appreciate

that she doesn't want to waste food, but that is not the problem. The problem is, is that I want

some leftovers too. So I told her when we're eating this time, I say, hey, don't take the leftovers,

okay? And she said to me, yeah, that sounds good. Well, fast forward to the end of the party.

And lo and behold, she takes the stupid leftovers. When I know it is later that night,

I text her and said, hey, if you can't stop taking the leftovers, I'm not going to invite you

anymore. And she says, okay, to that. The next time that she comes over for a party,

I remind her when we're eating. Don't take the leftovers. And she again says, okay,

well, when she's about to leave, I was sitting near the table and guess what I see? I see that she's

taking the leftovers again. So I tell her that if she couldn't listen to a boundary that I set,

then the clear consequence that I discussed with her was that she would not be invited to

any more parties. She then said that it wasn't fair that she couldn't have some, and she was only

taking a bit this time. Now, I'm not sure if that's true, but I told her I didn't want her to take

any. She then says, okay, and puts them back. Fast forward to the next time I hosted a party,

and she wasn't invited. Apparently, she found out through the grapevine and she got incredibly

pissed off, saying that she put them back and I should have invited her again. Well, at this point,

I think she might be right and that I might be the jerk in this situation. So seriously,

am I in the wrong? Because right now, I don't know what to do. No, I don't think you're in the wrong.

She clearly was taking advantage of your cooking and she was taking all the leftovers and not

leaving you any. In my opinion, leftovers absolutely go to the host and then they can decide where

they want to put them next, whether that's in their fridge or somebody else's. So no, you didn't

do anything wrong because I know if I was in your shoes, I would have done the exact same thing.

An entitled old jerk exposes my cards during a poker tournament, resulting in him getting

disqualified, banned from rebying in, as well as getting kicked out of the venue itself. Here's

what happened. Okay, so I play a lot of poker as it is a nice hobby of mine, and 99% of the players

I meet are super friendly and we enjoy conversation while playing. One of the biggest

etiquette violations and rule violations is touching another player's cards. The player can show their

cards if they want, but unless it's to prove your cards are better than someone else's, you can

throw away your cards without showing. Playing in a tournament last Monday I'm in a small blind,

and everyone's only made the minimum bet to me. I have a pair of 9 so I raised to the equivalent

of 3 big blinds. Now the entitled idiot of this story to my left, re-raises me to the equivalent

of 13 blinds, and because of this everyone throws away their cards and it goes back to me.

Now in my experience playing, older players tend to be very tight players, typically only playing

high pairs, but they also tend to play a wider range of cards against younger players,

because according to them they've been playing poker since before I was born, so I tend to

prefer re-raising them pre-flop and playing aggressively. So I ended up re-raising him to the

equivalent of 40 big blinds, and I'm committed to go all in against him if needed. Now this

entitled idiot thinks and thinks and sits there and thinks some more, and ended up showing me a

pair of jacks and said, your pair of queens is good and throws away his hand. The dealer then

pushed all the chips to me and I decide to just throw away my cards. Well, wouldn't you know it?

This entitled idiot grabs my cards and flips them over to show a pair of nines.

Now before anyone can say anything, the dealer instantly calls the manager over and explains

the situation. Meanwhile, this idiot is chastising me for aggressively playing a pair of nines,

and how he was ahead and should have just called his race. The floor manager disqualifies him

and kicks him out, which causes this moron to literally throw an instant temper tantrum.

We're talking full on toddler rage. He was screaming, he's not playing correctly,

he raised nines pre-flop, he's an idiot, I folded pocket jacks, this is so crazy,

and so on and so forth. Security, as well as the police, ended up dragging him away,

and we eventually resumed our play, despite the fact that this guy was making a scene the entire

way out the door. Okay, I've got to be honest, I really love this story because this guy is salty

that he lost. He's just pissed off because he got outplayed in a way that he was not expecting,

and I also love the fact that you said, nope, I'm not going to show you my cards,

and you would instead just throw him away, getting in his head completely, which obviously

worked because this guy freaked out. He lost his mind over this, and that's really funny to me.

So good for you for getting this guy in trouble, because from the sounds of it, he deserved to get

banned. Am I the jerk for refusing to change my Bachelorette trip date? All because of one friend

who is desperately trying to reschedule it, just so it can fit her schedule specifically. Here's

what happened. Okay, so I'm getting married this year, and my 16 friends and I have been

planning my Bachelorette trip. To make scheduling fair, I asked everyone to send me the dates they

were not available, so I could pick a date that worked for the most people, especially since

some friends are traveling from other countries. After going through everyone's responses,

there was only one date that worked for everybody, so I went ahead and announced it. That same day,

one of my closest friends suddenly said that she had been planning a trip around that time. However,

she had never mentioned it before and hadn't booked any flights, and was only reconsidering her

date because someone told her her destination might be crowded. Since the condition for choosing my

trip date was to prioritize the availability of the most people, I explained to her three separate

times why that date was final, but despite that, she kept trying to change it. She even created

another poll in our group chat to see if others could move their own important plans to accommodate

her. She also started privately messaging people, trying to convince them to say they could be

flexible. Now at first, I didn't directly call her out in the chat, but after she made a second

poll, I sent a general message stating that the date was already chosen, and it wasn't going to

change. Well, now she's upset and claims I embarrassed her by calling her out, instead of

speaking to her privately, even though I had already tried three times. I feel like she put me in a

tough position, making me choose whose availability mattered more. I understand she really wants to

be there, but I also think it was unfair of her to disregard everyone else's plans. I have no

intention of changing the date, and honestly, I'm not planning to apologize because I don't think

I did anything wrong. What should I do? Okay, first of all, this friend is completely out of line,

and they only want to change things because it doesn't line up with their schedule,

which by the way, they had plenty of time to check and double check, and really make sure this

is something they can even go to. So for them to go behind your back, you'd be like, okay,

let's start a second poll on behalf of the soon-to-be bride. Like that would set my hair on fire because

I would be so pissed off if someone did that to me. There's no way on planet Earth I would ever

be okay with that, and in my opinion, neither should you. And it's so funny to me that she's

trying to be like, well, you could have like privately talked to me about it, when she herself is

not being private about any of this. She's literally going behind your back to trying like

reorganize your bachelorette trip, like she's seriously being a hypocrite right now. So no, you're not

the jerk, and in my opinion, I would almost be tempted to be like, look, you just can't show up

anymore. I don't want you there, you've been really dishonest, and I just can't have that,

because her behavior in my opinion is completely unacceptable. Am I the jerk for not allowing my

parents to bring my siblings to my place as they have a history of breaking things that they get their

hands on? Because right now my parents are pissed, and I don't know what to do. Here's what happened.

Okay, so I moved out as soon as I got into college, and from that I shared a college apartment,

and I moved straight into my own place. I got a nice downtown law for myself, in the same city I

went to college, and this is about seven hours from my hometown. So as you can imagine, I was barely

home over the last six years. My dad really misses me a lot. He raised me as a single parent,

after my biological mom abandoned me postpartum, and my stepmom has also missed me a lot,

and was a fantastic parent to me throughout the years. I miss them both a lot, and we never had

much conflict until now. Our main problem here is my siblings. I have a brother who's 10 years old

and a sister who's seven. I had little to no contact with him really, but the times I do see them,

they're a nightmare. For example, this year I stayed in my parents' home from Christmas Eve to

New Year's, and in that short period of time, they managed to break mine and tendo switch,

and shatter my phone screen. And both times, neither object was left unattended near them.

For my switch, they swiped it from my room by going through all of my things while I was away,

and then they broke it. And for my phone, they kicked a ball at me while I was texting,

causing me to drop it which shattered the screen. And this is just the most recent example of them

being like this. My place is essentially one big open space. It's a big loft. The only doors to

the bathroom obviously, leaving the rest of this as one giant space. It's mostly occupied by my

thousands of dollars worth of music gear, and it's more of an I live in my studio situation,

rather than I have a studio at home situation. I don't even own a bed. I sleep on a futon,

so whenever they want to visit, I just tell them no, and that I will have to go to them instead.

I only ever hosted my place whenever my grandparents have my siblings, but this is starting to annoy them,

and they wanted to know why. So I told them that the reason I don't host them at my place is because

I don't want my siblings in here because they will break things, and I don't want to deal with that.

Well, my parents are hurt, saying that my brother and sister should be more important than money

and possessions, and that I moved away from home without making an effort to be in the lives of my

siblings. They also say my siblings are hurt from me not putting any effort into being in their

lives, especially since the family talks a lot about me near them. I love my parents, but I think

they're being unreasonable, expecting me to allow my siblings here, where they will be surrounded

by thousands of dollars of sensitive gear when they have a track record of breaking things.

So truly, am I the jerk in this situation because right now I don't know what to do.

No, you're definitely not the jerk, those kids are idiots, and there's no reason you should

ever invite that into your home. They broke your phone and your Nintendo switch. That's hundreds

of dollars out the window, and with that in mind, just imagine what they could do with your music

equipment. Seriously, this is unbelievable, and it's so funny to me that your parents are like,

oh, come on, your family should be worth more than just the possessions you have. Love is more

important than money, and it's like, oh, there it is, there's that red flag I was waiting for.

They're literally excusing any future bad behavior from those kids, instead of admitting that it's

a problem and correcting them for when they do it. It sounds like these kids are super spoiled,

and they don't have anybody telling them no, which is only gonna result in more bad behavior.

So no, you're definitely not the jerk, and I think you're smart for saying no, they can't show up.

Because even if their feelings are hurt, their behavior is absolutely unacceptable,

and you do not deserve to deal with that in the slightest. My toxic in-laws sent her church friends

to bother my daughters and myself, accusing all of us of terrible mistreatment, while also saying

that we're not good Christian women. So I decided to get some revenge by literally exposing them

for their lives, forcing them to leave their church, and walk a life of shame, as I successfully put

them in their place in a way they will never forget ever again. Here's what happened. Okay, so my

daughters have a strange relationship with my ex-husband's parents. My ex passed away in an accident

last year, and we've had some major family drama since then, due to his cheating, and him leaving

two boys born with as a fair partner orphaned. She also passed away, and part of the drama has been

my ex-in-laws trying to get custody of my daughters, and them also trying to live with us.

The first one we're going to court over, and the second one will never happen.

Where we live, there's a weekend market with fresh produce, eggs, meats, and other products

straight from farmers, and this week was extra special since it was my youngest kids birthday.

Since her party is later in the month, I decided to give her a budget and set her loose on the

market to get whatever she wanted, and this was mostly chocolate and other sweets.

After an hour, I did start getting worried, and just before I called her, she called me. She was

crying and saying that some weird people have her cornered. I ran to her with my oldest daughter

to find six older women, burrating my daughter for being un-Christian, for refusing to spend time

with her paternal grandparents, or for wanting to be a good big sister to her poor orphan baby brothers.

My daughters are the one that found out about my ex-jeeting and the babies, so they aren't really

fond of the kids. It's a really bad situation, and they are working with the therapist.

I got between the group and my daughter, telling my eldest to go pay the stuff her sister had,

and to go to the car. Then I turned to the women, some who I knew for when we went to my ex-in-laws

church, and I ripped them a new one. They told me I was worse for refusing to obey my ex-in-laws

like a good Christian wife, and I nearly vomited when they said that. Eventually the screaming turned

too loud, and we were asked to leave the market. I met with my girls in the car, and the women followed

me like a group of vultures. I managed to get in the car, and then I drove off. After my girls

went to bed, I got online to talk to another member of that church that I'm in good terms with.

I told him about what had happened, and after he apologized, he told me what was going on.

My ex-mother-law posted this massive story in the church's Facebook group about how horrible

my daughters and I are, how we are leaving them homeless and penniless, and how my daughters

don't even talk to them. She also accused us of being the reason she lost her grandsons.

The boys are now living with distant relatives of my ex-husband, and basically it was a

sob story worthy of a hallmark movie, and of course they were getting all the love and support

from the more extremist members of their church. This church and its members are a bit annoying,

especially any topics related to LGBTQ, but they have a small saving grace. They are incredibly

strict about cheating. It is a big no-no, be it from a husband or wife equally. Now you might be

wondering, how did she get around blaming me about the affair children without exposing the

cheating? Well, she claimed that the other woman was our surrogate since I was unable to have

any more children. Then said I didn't want the babies because they were boys, which is absolutely

disgusting to be accused of. Well, I decided it was time to clean up this mess, and since I was

mid-divorce when my ex died, I had all the evidence that I needed, and since the divorce wasn't

completed, I don't have any legal ramification for releasing all the evidence. I was off the next

day and I went to a print shop to get copies of all the delightful pictures of my ex-cheating.

His text conversations with his affair partner, the ones with his parents confessing to his

cheating, and getting support from them, my ex-in-laws bothering me about the divorce,

and the final nail in the coffin. All of the emails and text messages from them bullying my

daughters about their baby brothers. In one of them, they call my daughters a really awful name,

and telling them that it was their father father passed away since they told me about the affair

and I began the divorce. And this one was literally two days after my ex died. I paid extra for all

of this to be painted in beautiful high-quality paper. Then when I got home, I sat down for hours

to make delightfully personalized binders. They even look like the little prayer song packets that

the church give out for everyone to take and sing him. The first picture when opening the binders

is one of my ex and his side-woman, making out in our living room. Their faces are easy to discern,

and the girl looks nothing like me. She had different skin tones and different hair color.

Underneath it, I said that this was a love story between my ex-husband and the girl he was having

to fare with. Well, the gossip mill was quick and harsh. The names my ex and his

a fair partner got called in the Facebook group were so bad that the pastor himself had to get

involved just to keep things relatively PG-13. People were angry at my ex-in-laws for the way they

treated my daughters. But what made me laugh was that I was still in the wrong for the divorce,

because apparently it's understandable that I failed all my duties after the shock,

and I possibly will one day return to the light, unlike my cheating husband and his Jezebel.

They used another word that I can't use here, but I think you can imagine what I really mean here.

I then got two apology letters in the mail for my girl, as well as an invitation to join the

church for support. Now, as for my ex-in-laws, they got shamed into leaving the church. My ex-mother

law made a post on her wall about how alienated she feels, and how no one cares for the elderly

anymore. How she wished her great son was still alive, since he would have taken care of her and

her husband. But I'm honestly glad I got one over on these people, because they truly are the

absolute worst. Oh man, this really pisses me off. This is so uncalled for. You mean to tell me

two days after their dad died, your in-laws message your kids and say this is your fault.

Like, what are you talking about? That is crazy to me. For starters, there's no justifiable reason

any of these people should be messaging your daughters. Not to mention the fact that they're literally

putting them down for something they had no control over. And it's also hilarious that they

literally ignore the cheating part that literally caused all of this to really take place.

Because at the end of the day, if he didn't cheat, then guess what? You probably wouldn't have

gotten a divorce. So good for you for exposing these people for the liars that they are.

Because I really feel that's exactly what you need to do when someone tries to like lie about

your name, especially when you have evidence like this. Because the way these people treated you

in my opinion was so unfair, and they deserve to be shut down in the way that they were.

When you subscribe, make sure to hit the bell to turn on notifications. To finish listening to

all the stories, check out the playlist at the top of the description. And if you want some

chill music to put on in the background, check out EasyMode.com. If you like Am I the jerk,

subscribe to Am I the Genius. Everything will be linked down below in the description.