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About this Episode
https://www.solgoodmedia.com - Listen to hundreds of audiobooks, thousands of short stories, and ambient sounds all ad free! "Quiet Please" is a unique horror and mystery radio series known for its eerie stories and chilling narratives that captivate and terrify listeners.
Hosts & Guests
Transcript
Tyler Reddick here from 2311 Racing. Victory Lane?
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Hey, I'm Josh Spiegel, host of the podcast, Lunatic in the newsroom.
If you enjoy journalism that drifts into my old panic, wild overthinking, and a guaranteed
nervous breakdown, Lunatic in the newsroom is for you.
It's news like you've never heard before.
The only newsroom with a panic button, you'll laugh, you'll cry, and gasp and horror
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It's not just news, it's emotionally unstable.
Lunatic in the newsroom, listen today.
Quiet, please.
Quiet, please.
The American Broadcasting Company presents Quiet, please, which is written and directed
by Willis Cooper, and which features Ernest Chappell.
Quiet, please.
The day is a dark grey magic.
Yes, yes, yes, I'll be there.
Yes, I'll be there.
I'm here.
Yes, hello.
Yes, this is Mr. Barley Cronwood.
Who did you think it was?
This is my room.
I'm not in the habit of having people in my room, and I'm not here.
No, there's nobody in my room.
Josh?
Yes, I'm in my room.
But there's nobody in my room except me.
All right.
Do you have any calls for me?
No calls.
Well, all right, hang up and let me sit down.
All right.
Oh, my God.
Hi, Josh.
Hi.
I want to call the women.
You get me the Grammys in high and one or four calls.
Yes.
I want to call the children.
Hello, Mr. Roman Crittenden, please.
Oh, a woman, if you didn't recognize your voice, no, then.
How are you?
I'm just exhausted.
I've just had the most extraordinary experience.
Well, I was ready for a Madison Avenue bus there on 4th Avenue.
Well, I guess I have to replace more properly.
You know, right across from one of the makers where the subway station is
the middle of the street kind of?
You know.
I was waiting there for a Madison Avenue bus, and you know all those second-hand bookstores
along 4th Avenue?
They have tables outside.
I'd carry away these 5, 6, 5, 50 cents.
Wait a minute, Roman.
There's somebody at the door.
Somebody interrupts Mike.
Oh, please.
Well, well, who's done?
Who did that?
How was that?
I'm telling you, it was kids again.
There wasn't anybody, Roman.
I mean, it was some kid or something.
Hello, Roman.
Roman, are you there?
Hello, Roman.
Wouldn't that treat you somebody cut us off?
Hello.
Hello, Officer.
Hello, you cut us off.
You did, too.
50 Grammissing Nyan, 1-0-4-4 again.
Wait a minute.
I'm not going to see you in the door again.
Grammissing Nyan, 1-0-4-4.
Make it snappy, too.
That kid's at the door again.
Hello.
Oh, hello, Roman.
We were cut off, weren't we?
Well, I went to the drawer and...
Yes, I know.
Well, I was waiting for the bus.
Oh, yes, I did say that, didn't I?
And about the second-hand books.
Well, I brought up books.
Yes, I did.
35 cents.
You get.
No.
No.
No, you give up?
Magic.
No, no, no.
Not Patrick's magic.
Real magic.
Black magic.
Just like real.
Sure.
I nearly broke my neck on my way home.
I was walking along reading it after I got off the Madison Avenue bus.
I fell over a cat.
Cat, C-A-T, cat.
Black is the ace of space.
Wouldn't that freeze you?
Oh, but that isn't anything.
Somebody followed me.
Wait a minute.
I wonder if that could be him that was at the door.
Do you suppose...
Oh, no.
Is that...
Is that little jussle sibling that lives down the hall?
He always wants to tell me to guard.
To guard?
Oh, I have the faintest idea where he gets him.
I think he pushes him from somewhere, the little dickens.
Oh, no, wait, Roman.
I want to read to you from the magic book.
But it's fabulous, Roman.
You want to know how to give people walks?
No, I suppose not.
Oh, wait.
How to ride a broom.
Oh, that's the girl.
Oh, wait.
How to make the dready spirits appear from beyond the...
Beyond the...
Oh, boy.
Listen to this.
Yinda would raise up a naughty spirit to teach the...
All the secrets of evil them.
Thomas needs...
Wait a minute, Roman.
I've got to clap on my leg.
Wait, light it down.
Yes.
Must need...
Well, for goodness sake, listen to this.
Thomas needs first.
A sample unawares over a catty.
It's spelled C-A-T-T-E, Roman.
A catty of the blackest tube.
Imagine, Roman.
But I did trip over a black catty.
Wait.
Listen to this.
Over a black catty.
A cat.
Now, I'll start to read the 40th page of this e-bookie.
Yes.
Wait, this is the page 40.
Oh, let's your dinner say it won't run away.
37.
38.
39.
40.
Look.
That might be chicken.
That would be absolutely comprehensively.
Teacher, over a little chicken, if that isn't a coincidence.
Roman, that's...
That's the very page I was...
Roman, do you smell anything?
No, that's right.
I obviously smell on the telephone.
I smell something, though.
Why something running?
Well, then, should you suppose it's a rimstone?
Are you listening?
Wait until I find my place again.
Here.
Then, must I place my left thumb on my right here?
Mm-hmm.
And close my left eye and say, honorific...
Remember what it was.
Honorific ability.
Have I ever tasted catty?
Did you ever hear a word like that?
Honorific ability.
Shooting.
Honorific ability.
What did you say, Roman?
Explosion?
Well, I didn't hear anything.
But I must be blasting in the street or something.
Toleretic here from 2311 Racing.
Another checkered flag for the book.
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We've covered someone you love or someone you love to hate.
This is Mike Borlow of Lexicon Valley.
And I'm Bob Garfield.
Are you one of those people who sometimes uses words?
Do you communicate or acquire information with, you know, language?
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Thanks.
Well.
All right, little boy.
What's so funny?
I know little boy, Mr. Borlow.
What?
Mariner?
You, you mean?
What?
I am not.
You get out of here, you little devil.
That's better.
Oh, stop being such a silly fool, Mariner.
You just call me, didn't you?
Call you?
Yeah, he just took over a cat, a black cat, and you were reading the book, and then you said the word.
Yeah!
Go finish your phone conversation with Lumin Critton, Mariner.
Then you and I will call you.
Go back.
Stop?
Yes, sir.
Hello, Ruman.
Yeah, there was somebody at the door.
Scared?
No, I'm not scared, Lumin Critton.
I just...
Wait a minute, Lumin Critton.
Yes?
I was just a toucher.
From the desk?
From where that's Lumin Critton.
Oh, is it?
Oh, and I...
Yeah.
What's that?
A pen.
A pen?
Yeah.
Just a second, Lumin Critton.
Just a pen and Lumin Critton's picture, Mariner.
What's that?
Oh, just a pen.
Yeah.
Right here in the back stomach there.
Hello?
Hello?
Sorry, Lumin, this little fellow is...
How did you say, Lumin?
Hello, Lumin.
Hello?
Lumin?
Lumin!
Lumin, where are you?
What are you laughing at?
Oh, I learned your first lesson.
I'm Mariner.
So?
So, why do you want to learn all the secrets of the world and engine, Mariner?
Sure.
You stuck the pen right through Lumin's big, fat stomach, Mariner.
You murdered him.
You're Mariner.
You did everything the book said.
You called me to see James?
Oh, boy.
He's got a line star.
Murder.
Oh, but we try next.
You decide.
I do, Lumin.
Where's the pen for a stomach?
I get to hear the bad.
I wonder they call it sometimes.
Which line does it matter?
I...
Kill them?
Sure.
Oh, Mariner.
Why you two get so murderous?
How are we going to hold that wall?
Thank you, Mariner.
Excuse me.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
What?
What?
Lumin.
Huh?
Lumin.
I thought you were dead.
You watched?
Stomachate.
Watch that.
And you're not dead, Lumin.
Oh, Lumin is...
Me?
Madam and me?
It's my Lumin.
I'm so happy.
Yeah.
I'm awfully sorry, Mariner.
I don't know what could have happened.
It's always worked before.
Oh, well.
Better luck next time, I always say.
Oh, who do you want to murder now?
God, I think I need more pictures.
I want to know who you are.
Excuse me.
My name is Barge.
I'm a demon.
No.
You just get right out of here, you demon.
Don't do it.
You better.
Well, do what you call me.
Here I am.
Come on, leave on the land.
I don't want to learn the thing.
Good.
What can you learn me?
Ah, I mean, teach me.
Oh, the evil magic of my universe, never.
Really?
There are 64 ways of murdering people by magic, Mariner.
64 miles.
Show you how to produce an earthquake, fires, flash, sicknesses, stop wars, Barge people.
No, I just'm not tired.
The term people are the fishworm I don't think so.
Must be a hero, Barge.
Well, make people jump out of windows.
Very interesting, Barge.
Barge.
Barge.
Barge.
That's right.
B.O.J.
You're a minimal cookie.
Thanks.
How old are you?
Well, a couple of minutes.
Well, you don't look yet.
You're in some of my forms, I do.
Well, my turn is a different thing.
A evil thing, snakes, bats, platifices, or great big spiders.
I don't think this is served.
Well, I can fish.
Let's wait down the bottom of the ocean.
Very hard.
I imagine.
Well, come on.
Let's murder somebody.
Somebody jump off the Empire State Dulling, huh?
Can you really do that?
I cannot teach you how.
Really?
Easy.
Thank you so much.
Roman?
No.
Okay.
Okay.
No.
Stay after me.
Every day.
Every day.
Every day.
Every Saturday.
Saturday, Saturday.
Jump.
Oh, my goodness.
How sick you're warm as you are.
He jumped.
Bye, bye.
No, no.
Ha, ha, ha.
You got to last time, now.
I don't believe it.
Are you waiting for me?
Just because I said, everybody, everybody say it.
Sure.
If you say, everybody say it.
Sure, everybody say it.
Oh, yeah.
Happen.
70 cents.
I thought that's what I said.
Yes, set it back with.
Answer it.
Yes?
Oh, hello, Roman.
Hey, you see?
How?
For me.
I can't hear you.
Well, Roman, what's all that noise?
What?
People, what people?
I try to get into what poll rule.
At the interessante where are you, Roman?
Fair?
At the top of the Empire State Building.
Well, how in the world are you yet?
You violence?
You just up there?
You, Meredith, you're the dumbest man I ever saw.
You and your Saturday Sid.
You know what?
That's the first good thing I've done a 2,700,
8,202 year, five months, and nine days.
And I could cut your heart out for it.
With a better life.
How really is happy in Hollywood.
I had graciousies getting a thousand dollars a week
and that new picture of the manager jumped over the Empire
and they didn't jump over it.
So, you know how it was.
Come on, it's time to lay out a part and go out.
I don't think I want to know how to play some drugs.
No, I wonder how really I'm feeling.
We could play this one.
Look, look, look, look.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy too.
It's just the two of them's life.
Oh, really?
And let's play it down a schoolhouse.
Oh, no.
That's all I know.
I did just get that little yellow silver medal.
Let's bring down this schoolhouse.
I thought you should see that.
But the schoolhouse wouldn't give a lot of kids that kind of break
when it's down there, schoolhouse.
We'll see that right.
Let me know later.
Let me show you how to put up a duty chance for that.
What's that?
There's some kind of disease for us instead.
I know how to give it to people.
Hey, come on.
I've been in a fan for a minute.
And maybe his wife will get it.
And she'll turn green and heavens know.
Why wish I wouldn't say heavens?
Make me know all I can.
Why would you want Dixie to get up and do whatever it is?
No.
No.
Wow.
Do you even love with Roman Christ?
I was one.
Oh, you were.
Madly.
I see.
But she married Luma, look.
I was heartbroken.
I still am.
I see.
Where am I?
Just in a question, those things are over the next one.
Oh, I guess so.
Good.
Sure, see?
About him.
Sure.
See?
Let me tell you.
About the devil.
About the devil?
Oh, I'm just sure.
About the devil.
Oh, God.
Hey, it again.
Sorry.
Me time.
You're wrong.
Oh, you're wrong.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
It's fair to bring back a lost love, Narik.
That's true.
That's true.
That's true.
You were in love with Lohan's wife.
Sixty thousand, six thousand.
What are you talking about?
Somebody else said you were married.
Who's that?
Lohan?
A married woman?
That's Bixie's voice, you know.
Son of you, John's a reed.
I didn't do anything, Meredith.
You said over Joe's eyes.
Where are you?
I'm doing there.
Come and get this.
Oh, married woman.
Hello, Bixie.
So kiss me, Meredith.
My, my, my Bixie.
My Bixie.
I love you so much, Meredith.
Now, wait a minute, Meredith.
I mean, Lohan.
Hey, Lohan.
I changed my mind, Meredith.
It's you, I know.
Oh, my goodness.
I sure do love you, Meredith.
Do you know what it is?
This is a little girl one.
Her lady don't take this stuff.
I know a little boy.
So you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
I'm standing there looking over another's meat.
And I'm enjoying it, lady.
Kits him again.
Oh, Meredith.
Oh, you have to be, Meredith, darling.
I've gone and left my husband for him.
I love him.
So you just grin and die, do you hear me?
Just now.
Lohan, come on, Bixie.
Oh, Meredith, you and me, I'm going to be so happy.
She's awful, fat, Meredith.
And I just love you so much.
But I don't like your talk, Meredith.
You don't?
I know that if we're going to have to do something about it,
just a minute, we get mad.
Meredith?
Well, of course, Meredith, huh?
Oh, but what about Thomas, my family?
I love him.
I love him.
It is true, I love him.
And I know that I don't know how much money will make him.
I think he's good.
Again, his father got a trust in him, too,
since Lohan got his job in the movie.
How much do you need?
And he only thinks 5 thousand a week.
And, I wish you would go running, LeJoa.
Fred, you better go and make.
Do you still want?
I still can walk out when I can take care of Ryan's race.
ung.
Don't you wish you wouldn't cool me sweetheart, Cate?
Oh, ma'am Freddah.
I just love you to keep this melt, melt, melt mister rider.
And then that will say, Meredith,
I have to go out with me and buy some new clothes.
That's true.
That's true.
I like it, big sheep.
Well, I'm going to march you into a store
and make you get the farming
to pay a suit $22 a box.
What is true?
I've never let Newman pay more than $22 for a suit in his life.
And you've got to get some new times done.
That's true, that's true.
Excuse me.
I want you to look like a younger lover.
Please?
Nothing's too good for the man I love.
Did you buy a little man's size too, big sheep?
Yes, certainly.
Good.
I'm not furthermore.
I took one of these cars with me when I left.
Are you done?
Oh, don't you just love those purple ducks on it?
See?
More.
Well, I'll be at home.
Oh, shut up, little boy.
And such a lovely shade of green too.
And don't you just love the green?
Fair to nine, ten.
And worth other ten of a dollar, nineteen.
Gracious.
That's my life.
Well, I just love it.
I'll kiss you again, Mary.
I assure you, love you, sugar.
But I'm not about human, Jixie.
Oh, leave Lumen out of it.
So you can have $1,000 a week out there in Hollywood,
lying around on beaches in the sun,
and sweeten every day at the lorry's drive in,
and throw him his money away in the shooting gowns.
Oh.
And that's just what I say, honey, darling.
Now, you're really me.
You're worth, worth nothing to the bone for your little gussies.
A little.
And the gussies just make our little pinheads
a real love nurse for her nurse.
And every night when you come home,
I'll cook liver and onion for you.
And you, Bob, pie, try to reach me.
You see, I don't like liver and onion.
Oh, you learned a lot, Jixie.
I just adore it.
I did test you, Bob, pie.
No, I love it.
With chocolate ice cream.
Hmm.
Why are you going, Bob?
I'm sick, Meredith.
And we'll feed home and play hard.
Every night, I look at the television.
No.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
So you want a three, six, three?
Fixie, I do not.
Rob, Meredith.
Fixie loves you so much.
Fixie, fix it.
No.
Meredith?
No, sir, this is what...
This is gone far enough, Fixie.
I'm not going to stand for it.
Oh, don't you love me, sugar pie?
Do not, you're...
You're much too fat, that's what you're saying.
And besides you're a woman's wife.
But I love you, Meredith.
Well, I don't care.
You go back to the room.
No, Rob.
Well, you just got it.
Now, Meredith.
Oh, oh, what's that?
It's a girl.
That big, big green yellow bell.
Hey, where?
Oh, something else.
Do something, Meredith.
That's what I see.
That...
That's the fan still?
Yeah.
Oh!
Maybe it's a polychloride, you stupid.
I was trying to kill the body.
That was an issue.
You are no joke.
Oh, tell me why this...
Oh, thank you, Mr. Shut-up.
Thank you.
I love you, but now I know.
I don't know anything to do with it.
It's great, ladies.
Don't ignore me.
Oh, wait.
Where are you going?
I'm going off the moon, but he loves me.
Oh, this way.
Don't you speak to me.
You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you.
Oh, my goodness, me.
Isn't that freezer?
Nothing.
Nothing.
Now, the key.
And you're going to be by doing it the next time.
You, you, monster.
Oh, man.
George.
Yeah?
Where were you, me?
I was a dog.
A dog?
A green and yellow bug.
You were slapping out.
Oh.
The brush.
Sure, I can change my stuff into things.
Things?
I have to do something together.
So I turned myself into a dog.
You nearly got scratched.
Jumped.
The boy, he sure smacked his nose.
I think I've got enough of you, two birds.
Not that you think, boy.
You get out of here.
Never?
I can't.
Look.
You better.
I'm a desperate man.
You can't hurt me.
I can too.
Look.
If you make a path in me, never.
I'll just change my stuff into an elephant.
Or a chair or a horse or something.
How?
Look.
My goodness, an elephant.
Hey.
Look.
A teacup.
Ha, ha, ha.
I'll smash it.
No, you don't.
I'm still too fast for you, Meredith.
Look.
Look.
I can't hear because you call me the teacher evil.
There's certain there's my life and misery.
Ah, baby.
A little Meredith.
If you'd let me teach you something else, yeah.
Well, it's always dumb about doing things backwards.
Look at that.
A lot of fun together.
Come on.
I'll show you how to think about it.
I don't want you.
I want you to go away.
I can't go away.
I'm going to be here for that.
That's the rules.
I don't want you.
You call me.
Well, I didn't mean to.
But you did.
Come on.
Let's practice.
Disappears.
Don't want to disappear.
A facet, a mirror.
Flip her.
Flip her.
I haven't got any mirrors.
Set off all the atom bombs in the world.
Oh, oh, oh, boy.
Got to be terrific.
Listen.
You just put your finger in here.
Are you stuck?
It's just an idea, no?
Don't you ever have any good ideas, bud?
Well, I should say.
Say.
Sir.
Don't you ever have any bad ideas?
Getting rid of you.
No.
That's a good thought, no?
Besides, it can't be done.
I told you.
Please go away.
Let's change people in the different thing.
No.
Sure, no.
We can turn the moment into a bigger,
a bigger change in threat trouble.
So no.
You're telling me.
Let's change the fate of a pencil shot.
Oh.
Let's change the fate of a pencil shot.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Okay, then, I'm going to make the perfect plan.
I have no other率 to go through.
I have no other chance.
I have no other chance.
I don't have any chance.
I have no other chance.
Yes.
Come on.
No.
How do you do it?
They just stand up.
I'm 30 point.
Say what you wanted to be.
Is...
Well.
Sure, easy.
Maybe she could change herself back.
No.
Once they changed, then they start moving.
Good.
Can I change you into something, Bosch?
Me?
No, of course not.
You can't change me, can you?
Can you, Bosch?
I know all you can do is teach me how to do things, evil things.
You wouldn't change me into something, would you, Bosch?
You taught me how?
No, Meredith.
It's like the end, isn't it?
You can't, it's all me, you couldn't.
Please, Meredith.
Oh, my own good, Bosch.
Don't say good, Meredith.
Let me see, uh...
A butterfly.
No.
Yesterday's newspaper.
Oh, no, Meredith.
Uh...
A box is to guard.
Uh...
A cloud.
A rain on you.
I got you, Bosch.
A little fog.
Uh...
I changed it to hydrophobia.
A fountain pen.
I write poison ten letters about you.
Uh...
That's good.
That's right.
That's right, Meredith.
Oh, no, please, Meredith.
Please.
Oh, yes.
No.
Meredith, please.
Bosch, I command you.
No, no.
Missbell.
I command you to become a louse.
Hello...
Hello?
Um...
Hello?
Who?
Yes, I'm in the hole.
That's...
Oh, gosh.
Oh, yes, that's it.
I turned them into something.
Yes, I know it.
No, I don't know them.
Surely...
Goodbye.
I wouldn't have praised it.
I...
forgot what I turned them into.
And these tools!
The title of today's client, please, sorry, is Dark Gray Magic.
It was written and directed by Willis Cooper.
And the man who spoke to you was Ernest Chappell.
And Bob was my think.
Okay, but I changed my mind.
Dixie was Miss Holly Cole.
And yours, your musical client, please, is by Elder Perman.
Do sound credit today by Mr. William J. McClendon.
Now, for the word about next week, I write a director, Willis Cooper.
Thank you for listening to the client, please.
Next week, I have a story for your cloud.
The other side of the sky.
And so, until next week at the same time, I am quite the urge, Ernest Chappell.
But now, a listening reminder.
Right now, the whole world is talking about the possibility of the Berlin Black Cade being lifted.
Now, official sources have confirmed the story.
But ABC doesn't have heard it first, more than 10 days in advance,
on Drew Persons' regular Sunday night program.
Listen to Pearson.
This is ABC, the American Broadcasting Company.
Hey, it's Cole Swindell.
And when I spend 200 days a year rolling down the highway,
the bus can start to feel smaller than it gets our case.
Everyone wonders how I'll stay chill while the hours crawl by.
Truth is, one good luck spent on Chamba,
and suddenly the trip to the whole lot shorter.
Find in your space, even when there isn't much to spare.
Need some chill? Let's Chamba.
No purchase necessary.
A group of boys were prohibited by law, 21 plus TNC supply,
sponsored by Chamba Casino.
The sun shining, versus singing, and all feels right in the world.
Until the season changes, and suddenly you lose your motivation to get out of bed.
In fact, one in five people experience some form of depression,
no matter the season or time of year.
At the American Psychiatric Association Foundation,
our vision is to build a mentally healthy nation for all,
because we want you to live your best life and be your best you all year round.
Please visit mentallyhealthynation.org to learn more.
