[Rerun] Nina Dobrev

0:00Today's episode of podcast was recorded weeks prior to the sag strike Nina Dobrev as an actor. I am an actor. We stand in solidarity with our union and our fellow actors and with the writers guild. We mention a few projects, not in promotion. We're not promoting them. We're reflecting. So anything that you hear is to be taken in that context. There's artistic gymnastics, which is like a group sort of like synchronized gymnastics with those same things. And so I was like a substitute on the Canadian national. What? That's pretty true, you know? But it seemed like it was just nothing. Represents a substitute. That's like two emphasize the word substitute. Welcome to podcast. We are hosts. I'm Penn. I'm Nava and I'm Sophie and I think we would have been in your middle school besties, flinging tampons at the wall. I'm glad I wasn't the only one.

1:01Hello everyone. Welcome to pod crashed. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Hello. So I have been having a lot of trouble getting dressed in the mornings. I'm worried. What happened? There's a lot of factors. One of them is my growing bump. I'm pregnant. Where? Oh, that's right. Yes. Congratulations. But along with that, this studio can be quite cold. Sometimes it's quite warm. It's hard to gauge. That's not that's not our vibe. And this morning I was having a lot of trouble. I put on a sweater that I just felt really confident, you know? And then I'm getting ready for the interview. My mom facetimes me. Oh, no. We're chatting. She's like, who are you interviewing? And I said, oh, Nina Dober, you probably don't know her. Just because my mom is sick in her 60s, right? And my mom's like, oh, no, I know her. I was like, okay. And she said, well, what are you wearing? And I was like, this. And she said, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I love

2:01Helen. And I just said, I can't. And I have no fun. I can't handle this right now. That I went out to David and I told him the story. And he's like, I do kind of think she should change. It's like great. So I changed out of the sweater. Not anything much better. Yes. I have my options are limited people. It's the belly. That's, you know, I have to say that for a moment today, I was running late because I was looking for my wallet blah, blah, blah. And I was like, should I just not even bother wearing makeup? Because it's Nina Dober, I've like, who looks good? Like, I'm gonna look like trash anyway next to her. But then I was like, well, let's give myself like a tiny, like a tiny little bit of help. I'm just a little confident. I don't look like a zombie next to Nina, but wow. Anyway, my mom is going to be watching this episode carefully. Does your mom watch? No. But she will watch this one. Well, so you already know who it is outside of film and TV. Nina uses her presence to support causes like education, animal rights,

3:03and environmental sustainability. We love to have it around. We think you'll love listening. So don't you go anywhere. Hi, it's Julia, Louis Dreyfus here. And I can't wait for you to hear our new episode of Wiser Than Me with Cindy Lauper on Amazon Music. Cindy may be a girl who just wants to have fun, but for 40 years she has brought playfulness and a dash of punk to some serious activism. We talk about her lifelong LGBTQ plus advocacy, her astonishing music career, and pick up a whole lot of wisdom along the way. Listen now only on Amazon Music included with Prime. Have you guys met before? By the way, we must have. I have this like horrible disease where like...

4:03Where you're famous? And you like I know who you're famous, so I know your work. I've watched you like I've seen you yeah so like and then I've seen you probably at events but not talk to you. So it's one of those things where I'm like I don't know if we actually did the hello nice to meet you. We're going to show it on at the same time. Vampire Diaries at some point they definitely overlap. So I have a very core memory of you know my first season on Vampire Diaries which was your guys' second season. And it was my first upfronts and I'm like shipped in from Canada. I've never done an upfronts. So upfronts for upfronts for people who don't know which is going to be most people I think. It's like I don't even know that it's that much of a thing anymore because of streaming but I think it is still. Yeah there must be because the world is run by advertisers and where they want to spend their money but basically you go to like Madison Square Garden or something like that is a giant giant giant place and all the people from all the shows on the network because networks are not as much of a thing now but you know you go you go up on stage and they show like a preview of your show. And then it's just like you're there for the

5:08advertising people who are going to potentially buy time on your show like for commercials. So that was a very boring explanation that I wish we could cut out. Is there like a panel are they asking you questions? No it's really weird. The thing about it that is so distinct is that you have never felt more like a product in your life you know and you're just and whatever you know you're trying to just get through it. Anyway so you are it up front. First step friends first season of yours. Correct and there's like a green room in the back and I don't remember if I'm sure you were there. Maybe yeah. Sure like everybody was there like our whole cast was there. I would have been hot. No that's not true just for the record. And we were all like shoved in this green room waiting to go on stage together and I just remember being like this is a lot. This is a lot and this is so crazy and like what's happening where am I. So yeah so we didn't cross pass too much but that one time. Yeah. We were probably in the same room but I don't think we talked to each other. Yeah. Well for good reason thank you for coming.

6:09Thanks for having me. So let's just jump back a little bit further. It sounds like you moved back to Bulgaria when you were 10. Is that right? Correct. And then and then you and then a few years later you came came back to America. Correct. So that means by by about middle school you had just been back like do we call this home? Did it feel like home Bulgaria? Yeah I feel like both were home in different ways because yeah those are the formative years. So I was born in Bulgaria and then we immigrated to Canada when I was two so at the time I wouldn't have called it home in Bulgaria because I didn't really remember anything but then when we went back when I was about 10 until I was 12 I was you know yeah those are very like I was very aware of those years and and it was very strange fun because it was like a new adventure but also looking back I now see how strange it must have been for my you know the formative years to have gone through that.

7:13What was it like to return to Canada? So you know I spoke Bulgarian at home my parents didn't let us speak English in the house but then when I got to Bulgaria I didn't I realized that like it was very broken compared to everyone else and because of the fact that like the European education system is just far ahead. Yeah. They bumped me back two years. Oh wow. So I was going to school with kids two years younger than me. Wow. Which was really obviously awkward and uncomfortable here but they were sweet and like it was fine but then after school I would have to go to tutoring to like try to catch up. So it definitely felt really stupid. Well to me that sounds really demoralizing and like frustrating. Yeah hard because it's like this is not your first language anymore. Yeah and I mean that's so that I feel like that feels like it would be very yeah just like emotional. Yeah it didn't feel great at the time. I remember feeling sort of less than compared to everyone

8:15but then I mean I had the support it's not like people were mean as far as I should remember unless they were so mean that I blocked it out and I'm actually traumatized by it. I don't know. Is that sweet? Yeah. Still have some therapy to do there so we'll report back. But you know the weirder part or the yeah maybe it balanced out because when I answer your original question when I did eventually go back to Canada everything I had learned now I was suddenly ahead compared to the my peers in Canada. Minus the language part but in terms of like what math they were doing and like all the subjects like they were they were doing like multiplication and and and division and all these like crazy things and like kindergarten and first grade there. So yeah so when I came back I actually advanced and so it then I was all of a sudden got my like confidence back up you know. Writing time for junior high. But I sort of

9:20forgot English a little bit like English was awkward for me because I hadn't practiced in so long so then I did not relearn English but sort of you know kind of get used to it again and and get used to seeing all my friends again and you know it'd been two years since I'd seen them so. So I mean that actually sounds like it was just many years of feeling a bit destabilized. For sure but you know everything has a has a positive and a negative like it was a definitely destabilizing looking back on it but at the same time I think in the moment it was a fun adventure like I mentioned before it was going to a new place and meeting new people and my mom is very like you know she's she's an artist so she's very what's there I'm looking for she's just spontaneous and up for whatever and and so she's sort of instilled that in me and we'd go camping and do this and that and like everything was on a whim and when you're in Europe you can just go to other countries

10:20because they're a couple hours away by car and so we were just constantly moving around and so I think that has permeated and affected and sort of bled into the rest of my life like I almost feel uncomfortable sitting still for too long and being in one city for more than you know a week or two. Right when you when when Dana first got into the studio I don't know if you guys heard it but we were talking about you know New York City where we live and I asked you have you ever lived here and you had an interesting way of responding which is like sort of and so I can now I am now hearing the kind of background of like how mobile you've been and why you know how you can feel like you're in many places. Yeah for sure. So also what I think maybe people do not know about you. I didn't know about this until doing our our research. You were very serious into gymnastics. Is that correct? Yeah but not. I mean internet sometimes magnified. No for sure it does but also

11:21I mean I loved it. I was rhythmic gymnastics just to be specific because a lot of people when they think of gymnastics, think of the Olympics and you know Gabby Douglas and you know all that I didn't do that kind of gymnastics. I had like a ribbon and a hoop and the rhythmic specifically is that but then also there's artistic gymnastics which is like a group sort of like synchronized gymnastics with those same things and so I was like a substitute on the Canadian national. What? That's pretty huge. I mean I didn't seem like it was just nothing. Right but I was a substitute. I just emphasized the word substitute. I had competed a few times but not like I wasn't like the girl like I wasn't going to the Olympics. I started kind of late. Was there the possibility of Olympics? Not for me really. No. But for that team that was something that's. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah for sure. Two of the girls on the team because there was like 10 of us, 12 of us and I think that's been so we're

12:29really going back in time. I should have done my own research on my own history. I don't remember how many women girls I guess were on at the same time. I think it's between six and 10 maybe or doing like a choreographed routine and then there was a couple of substitutes but maybe you should fact check that for me. I don't think anybody's going to hold you too. Yeah so two of the girls were like did go to the Olympics for just rhythmic as individual athletes and I think she played I mean I don't remember what she plays but she's yeah she went pretty far. But you didn't feel that kind of pressure. I guess going to try to just you know try to I it seemed like maybe it was part of you know just like the the makeup of your environment and like where you were coming from in or early in life like the because you know if you were

13:30seriously contending there that's a huge that's like a high stick it's kind of high pressure thing but it sounds like maybe you weren't you were you were almost there. I mean I think I was I think it was a hobby at first but I got pretty good pretty fast and they were like huh this girl's like actually like they didn't I sort of like came out of nowhere for them because I started at I think I was like eight or nine maybe ten oh no I was probably nine and for the gymnastics world that's like you're yeah you're on your deathbed like so one you know what I mean like they started like four yeah maybe so yeah nobody like really considered that I would do anything with it and then I sort of worked my way up and they're like oh you're good enough to be substitute like maybe if somebody dies like you can come in so um yeah it was it was really fun and I loved it but I think especially as I hit puberty and like I had like a little bit more big chested compared to the other girls and I it quickly was like this isn't going to be a long-term thing plus your

14:33the expiration date for that world is like eighteen very yeah yeah what was the transition into discovering your sort of talent in other performing arts areas like acting yeah I mean I think that was sort of the start of it I was also a very high energy child and my parents were just kind of trying to shove me into whatever they could just sort of give themself a break yeah um but from there from the gymnastics and the dancing I realized that I liked doing that so then I wanted to go to a performing arts high school so I auditioned for the the performing arts high school in my area which was called westward collegiate I got in there and then you know gravitated more towards theater and dance I can sing a little but not really that well and not like Broadway esque singing um and so yeah from there it just sort of kind of happened that we had like a guest

15:33speaker come to the school for the drama class for the seniors and or not the seniors just for like the drama class and he was an on camera acting coach that did like a little seminar thing with us and then from there I I don't remember if I approached him after the class or he he approached me but I started taking classes with him afterwards and then he introduced me to agent and I started doing auditions and that's kind of how I remember being secretive about it though because my parents are really strict and they didn't like we lived in the suburbs of Toronto and oh god I just sounded so foreign Toronto and the suburbs of Toronto have been away from home for too long um Toronto um and so yeah we you know they didn't yeah they're immigrants like they didn't I don't have like any ties to the industry from my family so they didn't really understand it they didn't think it was serious it was more of just like a yell at or do it like whatever thing um but then they started noticing that I'd be at home like running my lines

16:37frauditions instead of doing my homework yeah so then they imposed this rule that I'd have to read a book every week and every week I'd have to submit a book report to my parents and if I did that then I was allowed to audition the following week but if I didn't then I had to like cancel all my auditions that's great yeah every home whatever it is shaped like for a child actor should be that way right yeah I mean it was your first role that you got into grassy because I saw your audition for that and it involved a lot of gymnastics like you had to do the splits you did a back hand spring maybe yeah I it was one of the first ones for sure but it was also um I think I first auditioned for a different character if I remember correctly again I might have early on set Alzheimer's I don't know I also traumatizing so like I said earlier probably blocking a lot

17:37out but we're here to unlock it my I should have scheduled it there because I should have but um yeah I think I auditioned for a different role and I didn't or or maybe it'd have been cat I don't remember but it was something they were like we're gonna maybe bring you in for something else like create a care like they liked me but I didn't really fit for whatever it was um so then maybe that's when I did that role and they they wrote in the gymnastics because they knew I could do gymnastics yeah I don't I don't remember if that was part of it yeah I could also be making all of this up at least some of it's true yeah something something must be there must be a nugget in there of truth I mean I heard um you say on another in another interview that you kind of had this feeling of being otherd as a kid your family life didn't look so much like the family lives of of the people around you in Toronto and I wonder how that feeling has evolved for you over time do you still feel that way um or have you kind of found like confidence in your own

18:43skin a hundred percent I feel much differently now than I did then and it's so funny to look back especially because Toronto is such a multicultural city and everyone is from somewhere else and no like there is no real no I guess there is like the white Canadian norm but for the most part like ever a lot there's a lot of transplants and so it's funny to me that I felt that way but I definitely felt it like we yeah it's the cultural part of it that you know my parents in speaking English and also the fact that I don't want to say that we were struggling because every time I say that in an interview my mom then later yells at me she's like we were fine you're a little brat um but I think I was just comparing so we were fine mom yeah fine we were fine but you know I I guess I was comparing myself to my peers and so some the the circle that I ran and you know they had new clothes and you know they're it just we would shop at places where it

19:49would be like secondhand clothes or I remember my first thing that I was like one day I really just want to have like a full closet of just like like clothes that are that no one's worn before was my goal as a kid like I remember being like uh and now it's so funny because all I want is to wear a vintage clothing thrifting is even really popular with like like my 14 year old they all love to thrift yeah they say it actually in a way that it's clearly very cool I don't think it was when I was at it no I don't think it was either for me at least or at least that's how I perceived it like it's so much of it is in your own head and and um but I definitely I definitely wanted to fit in with like all the other girls and like shop at all these stores that were like very American I wanted everything to be American or Canadian and like very you know I was trying to fit in and I just always felt like I did it and we'll be right back I've been doing a little spring reset with my closet lately focusing more on quality over

20:53quantity and just building wardrobe of pieces that are well made versatile and easy to reach for every day it feels like now that I'm 32 it's about time this is what I got to do that's why I keep coming back to quince the fabrics feel elevated the fits are thoughtful and the pricing actually makes sense quince makes beautiful everyday pieces using premium materials like 100 percent European linen organic cotton and super soft denim with styles starting around 50 dollars their spring pieces are lightweight breathable and effortless the kind of things that you can throw on and just instantly look put together which in this stage of my life pregnant with toddler that's what I need I need something I could just throw on and feel put together right away that same focus on materials carries over into their accessories like their leather bags which are made from 100 percent hand woven Italian leather and honestly look way more expensive than they are if you have been around here for a while you know that I have a blue suede handbag from quince

21:59it's tried and true I've had it for years now it's my everyday bag and it's held up amazingly I recently also got David a pair of earrings he's been wanting gold studs and I found these really cool ones on quince that are like unique they are just like a line of gold across your ear and he looks so good in them they are so cool I'm gonna be stealing them so you know watch out David for really quince is just like your one-stop-top for everything and it's a really good quality refresh your spring wardrobe with quince go to quince.com slash pod crushed for free shipping and 365 day returns now available in Canada to go to q-i-n-c-e.com slash pod crushed for free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash pod crushed do you ever find yourself scrolling through head lines especially health headlines and just thinking that can't be true well I certainly do

23:012025 brought us some ridiculous far-fetched health claims and some especially terrifying changes in public health what's in store for us in 2026 I'm Chelsea Clinton and we're back with season two of my podcast that can't be true follow along and catch up on season one wherever you get your podcasts. Nina's I I'm like trying to figure out how to ask this question without a reject fan you but you're so beautiful and you look the same as you did with the camera so yeah thank you so I always feel like when someone's going to put a film and let's get on with the air I'll be here just like cast for you know on the ground your graduate midbed air is like famously beautiful um but so I always imagine that like when someone's you know that way that everyone wants to be around you is that sort of was that not your experience because people like to be around attractive people like that's just a thing you know there's like pretty privilege and all that so oh I've

24:02never heard of that one that's anyone for me yeah pretty privilege I mean I get it and make sense I've never heard that term um I don't know I mean look there's every being beautiful is objective and I don't think I think you need to feel pretty to also I don't know I just didn't feel pretty for a really long time and and we're also speaking of formative teenage years like we're not talking with the fact that like I had a unibrow so let's talk about it then let's talk about it I had a fucking unibrow and that's where how long did you have a unibrow for? I definitely like great six graduation was rocking the unibrow yeah but not like at that point I just didn't know yeah you know like once I was made a what then they went like invisible then I overplucked them to a degree where like you couldn't see them anymore we thought they'd never come back yeah

25:04and I had like a chubby face I had like my teeth were really messed up so I wore braces for two years with the elastic things that connect the top to the bottom like I didn't feel beautiful yeah like there was nothing like I definitely like grew into my confidence and learned how to you know also I had a really curly frizzy hair and so some of my girlfriends would come over once we started to like care about how we look my girlfriends would come over in the mornings and we would take the clothing iron yeah and a towel on the counter and like iron our hair oh wow with the clothing iron but it was awkward because like you can only go so far there's a line somebody's getting burnt burning their face as well then anybody ever burned themselves I don't think anyone luckily burnt their faces maybe our our arms yeah but there was like a distinct line it would be like frizzy at the time and then stick straight to the bottom sure of this summer Nina I'm sure I'm sure I do but we thought our parents didn't know what we

26:08were doing like they that we like all come out with like perfectly straight hair we thought we were being so subtle about it but anyway um yeah so I definitely grew into understanding how to to care myself and how I wanted to look and feel and and um and yeah I mean I definitely it's I'm not saying I was like a loser it had no friends in school like I definitely had friends and um and bopped around different friend groups um but yeah do that answer your question I don't know yeah and then obviously with the show like once the show came out you're being styled by wardrobe designers and you get a stylist and you do all these things and as I've grown up I've I've probably look I'm in my 30s now so yeah now I now I probably feel the most beautiful that I've ever felt because I feel most confident I know I am or I'm trying to getting closer to knowing who I am yeah always getting closer yeah and yeah so it's just uh

27:13it's a work in progress for sure you know we have a couple questions we always ask everyone about middle school and then we'll talk about your career um I'll just I'll combine them do you remember your first love or crush and heartbreak and do you have an embarrassing story from those years you could share or less okay uh first we people don't name names right I don't have so many people that every time people were named from like whoa actually I would say it's almost 50 50 yeah and when they do they name first and last yeah it's like bang bang well you kind of don't forget your first yeah yeah um I don't now I'm insecure no pressure no pressure whatever you want to do I don't think I should say name for you to say but um uh yeah starts with an E and ends with the D and what is it rhyme with no that would be really fun no it's not uh it's ad Harris actually no um yeah so so yeah I think I was 14 probably I mean I

28:23had a lot of like I think I'm in love with that but it wasn't reciprocated kind of people before I love I love I have to say I just loved it like it's so many um it tends to be women who are in touch who are still so I mean no then so if you're good examples you are still so in touch with this that spirit because like you there's there's a simple you you all kind of tend to do this really funny thing which is like I'm so in love it's like and that is what it is that's the feeling but you just never see men say that at all like like at all they don't at all and so I'm just appreciating that for a moment so sorry so go go go on go on go on I there was this boy in high it was high school I was in the ninth grade which in this states you guys call that freshman yeah yeah um as my freshman year freshman year and um he was like a skater boy and see later boy see a later boy yeah exactly and it was the first time I think it was like

29:28mutual and we were both really into each other and he like smoked weed you was super edgy and like um and and I do I have noticed like looking back like I did have like a very all-american like my type is like like we were talking about like the all-american thing because it's so different than what I am um he was like very all-american looking I don't remember I think you played La Cross wow yeah yeah very you know yeah that's a cool one like every jock movie yeah and yeah we dated for I think a year I'm not mistaken he's who I lost my virginity too oh big and big love yeah yes yes and then you know when it ended it was the end of the world yeah as you all remember I'm sure yeah um and now I'm fine but yeah at the time it was like the end yeah the end of the world it was like I can't believe

30:29that I don't want to do like life's over um but yeah I just remember what was that song do you help me out here do you guys remember Gray's Anatomy that one song the the chasing cars yes that was so fast yeah so I think that song was like popular the one that's like Anatomy you're gonna have to that's um okay I know I've been I've been rewatching Gray's Anatomy actually just recently so yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um so that one had just come out and I don't even know if it related to the moment but it was like a sad-ish song yeah and I was in the car and just like crying so hard just like listening to the song over and over again pretty dangerous now the game looking back should have probably pulled over like I couldn't see yeah and then an embarrassing story I think is that not embarrassing we have some people who like slipped in public

31:38but if you don't have one you don't have one I mean did you ever slip in public like all I do I'm so clumsy my friends like I should be bubble wrapped is the truth of the matter yeah I get hurt all the time walking is challenging for me in any kind of shoe and then I just I've noticed that like I get so into whatever conversation I'm having when I'm walking on the street talking to someone I just the rest of the world is gone is that happening right now might be and we're lucky that we're sitting like this is actually a very safe environment for me to be having a very intense conversation around um but yeah now I've run into polls and an adamant object that's great I mean I'm sorry I mean it's just yeah it's unexpected it's very relatable yeah and I have weak ankles the high heels and me do not mesh very well oh actually I have a lot we can just talk for the next hour just about my bear six hours go we can just do it so my shoulders dislocate pretty

32:43frequently same it started in the gymnastics days oh jeez yeah that's kind of why I had to like workman's comp from that or something I mean it just feels like like uh I can imagine there's a lot of former gymnasts who have that right yeah well I'm also like a double extend okay so you have a very bendy and then on top of that like I want I want to not think I do you have wood here I've never broken a bone well aside from my baby toe you too same twice twice I have it right now oh no it's okay right now it's okay no it's okay yeah but it's weird because I do crazy stupid shit all the time and I should have a lot more broken things um oh I forgot to knock um but yeah no just the baby broken toe other than that everything like just bends and like that my my ligaments are are destroyed but like other than that um my shoulders constant so they and they dislocate it the

33:45most inconvenient times like I'll be it's happened I can't tell you how many times snowboarding but it just pops off in the middle of like when I fall like shoulders out and I have to get somebody put it back in um when I was doing oh my god it's so painful it's so painful I've of course heard of this before but the way you're describing it I imagine like like an action figure whose arm just falls off yeah like like the way you're describing it's just like pop it's like it's really out and it it's out and it just hangs there and the only way to do it like you can only do it yourself like someone else can't right no no you actually can't do it yourself somebody else has to do for you I mean actually no I think you can like walk into a wall and like put it back in but something has to like so usually what they do is like if Sean or whoever's physically next to me has to pull on my arm so that it comes out and then it's like real yeah the people that are watching on video will yeah see the visual of that but it happened

34:48right before I was about to go on air with Conan O'Brien is this the one where you did the whole backband D thing because I think you're on more than once yeah I've been on more than it was the we did like a fight sequence like a action movie fight sequence on air alive and that sounds fun while preparing and like practicing backstage my shoulder fell out while I was like throwing a punch or something I was like yeah that's really charming I mean it's charming in the retelling yeah yeah and not in the moment I'm sorry yeah it's okay that's something I live with every day and it's fun it's part of my Nina I think we're going to move into talking about your career and we have to bring up vampire diaries iconic I watched it as a teenager loved it and thank you you played two characters you three right three four technical four two main two main ones and then four overall yeah wow what was that like that must have been a challenge do you how do you feel it

35:52it affected your growth as an actor it was I'd say it affected my growth as a human too because like I said I was like slowly like gaining my confidence and when I got the show I was Elena and you know that one the introduced Catherine was like all of a sudden more like you know digging deeper into like my sexuality and like who I am as a person because like Catherine was so sexual and can't say I have a lot to relate to with Amara and the other one but because they were like back in the olden days but but yeah no it was it was definitely challenging just from like a work perspective from like hours I mean pen you know the hours on any TV show or movie but especially like you guys shoot a lot at night for you know not as much as you think the first season we did okay but not oh yeah yeah he did vampire oh that's I remember you know what he has he told

36:53me some not crazy stories or anything but I'm remembering that now yeah yeah so he you know especially in the first season the second season like the hours are so long and usually when you're in a show you have scenes off and breaks and when you're playing two characters in the scene talking to each other there's no breaks yeah so it was like physically very demanding but but also kind of you know the dream is an actor to get to play many things is like a creative standpoint it was really interesting if I learned so much I learned so so so much I call like actor boot camp did you have any little rituals or anything you did to sort of like switch between them because I do I'm not I'm not saying this to just like compliment you but I remember when I would watch it thinking that you were better than most actors at playing two different parts like usually when actors play two parts I think it's the same person but with you I was like I would forget that you were the same actress like I would really think of them as different people yeah cool they were very different yeah

37:55I it for me it was like a very physical thing like I needed the hair to look different and the makeup and the way I walked and like once I would transition into that as they were like putting that all on me I could like that was the one little break and be like 45 minutes where they'd switch me over and it kind of gave me the time to sort of and it was weird I'm not a method person at all I think but in that moment when I was doing that I think I had tendencies unintentionally because I would notice that I like when they call cut and I'd be talking to the crew or some of my friends I would start to like say like you know cheekier things and just be a little bit more of like you know like I just talked different and yeah I unintentionally just like stayed in that but that yeah I was it's it's weird it's hard I don't know I think I needed to do that in that specific instance but but yeah yeah it's cool how has your understanding of love evolved over the years

38:59is there anything you could tell us about love and what you've learned about it yeah um I know that one we've all tell us about love you know I mean I think it's funny because I I started going to therapy later than my peers and so I feel like I'm learning a lot about love in the last probably right before COVID or like COVID yeah because I finally had to be like was forced to be in one place by myself and with my thoughts and low and behold they they were a lot so I had to see I was like I need to talk to somebody this is a lot I don't know what to do in my cell like I'm going crazy and um you know I've like anyone from that first love that I was telling you about to where I am today I mean the first word that comes to mind is just healthier

40:03and like I remember it's so interesting my therapist is talking about like comparing the everyone focuses so much on the familial relationships obviously with like your parents and like oh you'll marry your father or your mother someday I've never heard that before yeah I'm sure um but what was like especially poignant for me was that like nobody had talked to me yet about like my my the sibling relationship and then when I tracked back at the kinds of people that I was dating like I really was sort of like the the characteristics of my brother were more prevalent and the partners that I was attracted to that maybe wasn't necessarily that healthy because like my brother's five years older than me aka like way cooler than me and nothing to do with me when you're a kid yeah and so and my parents were always like forced him to hang out for me and he wouldn't want to so like my idea of love for a long time it was like a man who doesn't want to be around basically yeah I'd be like attracted to people that like wanted nothing to do with me and so I mean obviously

41:05I'm that's like a blanket statement that's not all the men that I've been in and so I don't want this like speaking of clickbait yeah let it be clear I don't want people out there all you journalists listening don't start like singling out individuals because that's not but you know it's happening in the past yeah so like over the years I just I feel like healthier relationships are what is what I've learned to like gravitate towards and and yeah you never wanted unhealthy relationships though so no I wasn't intentional yeah so what helped you I feel like I'm still learning a lot about how to attract and be attracted to health in relationships what have you what has helped you to to be healthier or to like be attracted to a healthy relationship like sincerely I would love to know I mean just honestly focusing on me that's such a stereotypical

42:09thing to say but like not being so like trying to it goes back to like the fitting and like trying to be the perfect person for someone else instead of trying to be the perfect person for myself and then the perfect person not that there is a perfect person but the right person will you'll be attracted to that kind of person because you're being your most authentic self and I think I've had moments of that throughout the years where I've like been that naturally but then you obviously lose your way or you repeat patterns or you end up being attracted to the kind of guys that are like your brother who wanted nothing to do with you and so you chase instead of being chased and so yeah I think once I had that like conscious decision to sort of like do me yeah I found that I attracted the right kind of energy you know we had an intern shout out to Faki who put together a lot of this research and he wrote a really funny note but he was convinced

43:10that Sean and your mom are best friends so I just want to know on behalf of Tafaki weigh in our Sean and your mom best friends they really do love each other it's so cute it's like my mom is oh she's it's so hard to describe unless you've met her but she's just like a ray of sunshine she's so positive yeah she's like an artist and she's just yeah she lives in France she started this company where like people go to France or Italy with her to paint and drink wine and eat cheese for 10 day vacations I call it like adult summer camp or I call it like spring break for adults yeah old people old people to be able to take 10 days off yeah have the means and the money to do that and then also have an interest in painting tolerance for lactose exactly exactly um that's funny uh yeah and so although no in Europe you can kind of eat cheese even though

44:14that's true it's not everything is better there everything is so much better can we do this podcast if I ever come back can we do it in in your hands yeah sure yeah we move the thing really yeah sure thing then we've got nothing but money there we're handing out to everybody they won't even give you anything but peanuts here's not a they weren't a banana desert maybe you don't have them at CVS anymore well we're talking about your mom and Sean yes uh yeah so like we went to visit my mom in France and he got a taste of her little like slice of life which was so I mean it's so simple but it's so like great yeah you just bike around everywhere in paints and like eats food and I don't know it's just like very picturesque she lives in this like beautiful medieval town and so

45:16everything literally there's not one thing I've heard about your mom that doesn't make me go does that doesn't that doesn't make me lean in yeah all of our research which is again to fuck these research yeah I just want that to be clear I say that I researched anything it's on a document well I did listen to not I didn't I didn't get to finish it but I did listen to your episode they did with your brother on sibling revelry and you I think it was your brother that mentioned that your mom used to be and she still maybe does a little bit of a little bit of it on the side she used to restore paintings that had been ruined like in like fires or where does it end that's so cool that's kind of if we're being honest that's kind of how it started wow that's like that's like her first love is like she was obsessed with like um like you know when you go into a church and it's like a like century old church and everything America yeah I don't actually know I only into recently yeah but in Europe there's like these incredibly old beautiful churches

46:20and so somebody over the years has to go in and like fix them or they're extremely destroyed and so that you have to like create it so she studied art restoration and and got her master's degree and so she's the person who like goes in obviously like that doesn't pay a lot of money so she had to like pivot at a certain point but yeah on the side every now and then if there's something that comes up she can do it but it's not her full time anymore yeah stick around we'll be right back hey everyone it's Leah Greenberg and Ezra Levin you might know us as two of the lead organizers of the No Kings protests we're also the co-founders of Indivisible the grassroots movement organizing against Trump's regime and this is what's the plan you're a weekly guide to the state of our democracy and how we fight back this is not canned talking points it's a real life discussion space for the pro-democracy movement we wrestle with strategy together we take your top loaded questions in real time and we talk about the most impactful actions we can take right now democracy is a participatory sport the fascist win when we sit on the sidelines what's

47:24the plan is about how we get into the game what's the plan available Friday January 23rd wherever you get your podcasts subscribe or crew discuss organize and win that's the plan we have a final question ask everyone but I want to ask you a question before that which is that you you're super popular on social media you have a huge following you seem to keep your Instagram like a pretty positive place but I've noticed that you do kind of clap back sometimes when people make comments I don't have clap backs the right word it seems like actually I like it you reframe the comment like you do it in a positive way no but she doesn't she doesn't in a way that's actually very like you reframe the comment I haven't I think it's really cool and I was just curious why do you do that like why why do you have any do you have any examples we do have examples if I can yeah I'm gonna give you examples someone here commented about your body I didn't see their comment but you said thank you for your concern I'm sorry to hear you weren't doing well I hope that you're taking care of yourself and doing better now I'll also let you know that I do

48:25eat burgers and fries and all kinds of yummy things all the time you should do the same eating everything and working out which I do is the healthy solution for people who have problems body-shaming people on the other hand is not healthy and very rude I don't do that so you should also do the same have a wonderful day yes see the same dignity I saw in the patient thief that's what I want to read one more because it was really I thought it was really well said you said to the person it's a radical concept called time I know crazy it's what happens when it goes by people get older it probably won't happen to you because you seem to be different than the rest of us but I'm 30 and I'm proud of it have a lovely day yeah that's salty yeah I don't know I mean look I was probably having a bad day and was also feeling a certain way and they just like hit on a nerve but at the same time so like I got upset and then I was like wait no this is like this is a thing that happens and it's gonna keep happening and I remember seeing something from like Julia Roberts like somebody said something mean about her aging and I was just like

49:28it's what happens to people we're all we're all we all have the exact same outcome mm-hmm such as death I just remember yeah take spin you just want to go around the room everybody in the eye it's death yeah you too I don't know how old you are you're gonna be looking at a baby right yeah yeah yeah it was just like I don't know I think it was that the person said that I that I've aged since the vampire diaries like I don't look the same as I did when I was on the vampire diaries and I was like that was 20 years ago well it was like 10 years at that probably yeah like when I was 20 when I started of course I looked different and I and I'm proud that I looked different I should look different and I honestly think I look better now because I look like I'm not as skinny as I wasn't to add to the next question is like at one point there was like a she's lost too much weight or she looks too skinny or something and I was

50:28just like I'm eating I want to say like I eat I work out I I actually like love eating food it's like a big thing for me I can't eat gluten or dairy and yeah that's frustrating but you know it sometimes I still do eat it I sometimes still go to McDonald's and have that big mac even though it'll make my stomach hurt because I'm like I just fucking feel like it yeah and I'll deal with the consequences later so yeah yeah I wanted to politely in a very kind way because I didn't want to perpetuate the like mean talking and be like you suck and you're like there's no that's not productive it was just like look like think about what your comments are and be aware that there is another person on the other side of this and and we're not just robots that have no feelings like it does affect us so yeah yeah I think your question often I'll see people like on TikTok a lot people will comment something really negative oh there was a trend speaking of TikTok there was

51:28a trend that I had like plastic surgery or something like they were like oh she like did her eyelids there was like person that went on there was like a specialist that like talked about all the things I'd done to my face and I was like what crazy I was like no absolutely not and then this other plastic surgery came on on TikTok somebody no I didn't comment but someone sent this to me I saw this another plastic surgery this is actually like not necessarily a great story because it's like a burn to me but they she debunked the person's theories about all the things I'd done to my face um apparently and she was like actually no she she's just aging like the the sunken and eyelid theories just a sign of aging gravity yeah it's not like what you guys are saying and I was like yes yeah I feel like I'll see sometimes someone will leave a negative comment and if the creator whoever they were commenting on writes back all of a sudden it's like oh my god sorry bestie

52:32didn't mean it love you yeah you're doing amazing I think they just expect that you want to see it yeah um it we're taking a little bit of a turn here back to where we started okay if you could say ask do anything um you're 12 year old self you could go back what would you say I think I would tell her to not to embrace her cultural differences and not be so insecure about all that and and just sort of it's so hard but like just be okay with who you are because you who you are is enough and you don't have to try to be all these different things because it's not like I was just so obsessed with not like being like everyone else and fitting in and it's like now I celebrate that side of myself so much and I feel like it makes me unique I have a different

53:36perspective and I'm so proud of who I am now so so I feel like I would just sort of maybe tell her what happens later in the future I'm like this is what's gonna happen to you you're gonna be good don't worry just try to forget about it though yeah just just don't worry about everyone else and stop looking at everyone else just like focus on yourself thank you so much Nina yeah thank you for coming to see me too it was a pleasure meeting all of you thank you so much yeah stitcher want to listen to your favorite lemonada shows without the ads subscribe to lemonada premium on apple podcasts you'll get ad free episodes and exclusive bonus content from shows like wiser than me with julie louis drifus fail better with david decavney the sarah silverman

54:39podcast and so many more it's a great way to support the work we do and treat yourself to a smoother uninterrupted listening experience just head to any lemonada show feed on apple podcasts and hit subscribe make life suck less with fewer ads with lemonada premium are you looking for ways to make your everyday life happier healthier more productive and more creative i'm gritchin rubin the number one bestselling author of the happiness project bringing you fresh insights and practical solutions in the happier with gretchen rubin podcast my co-host and happiness guinea pig is my sister elisabeth kraft that's me elisabeth kraft a tv writer and producer in hollywood join us as we explore ideas and hacks about cultivating happiness and good habits check out happier with gretchen rubin from lemonada media