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Hey, everybody, this is Pastor Rick's Daily Home.
And today, Rick Warren continues a series
called Good News About Grace.
You can't truly understand the Christian life
until you understand grace.
It's at the heart of your faith
and your relationship with God.
And in this series, you're gonna discover
how not to only understand grace, but how to experience it
and the joy that it brings.
And now let's get right to the final part
of a message called offering grace.
The second part of real forgiveness is relinquishing.
It's relinquishing my right to get even.
Now, that's the heart of genuine forgiveness.
Relinquishing my right to get even.
Romans 12, 19 says this.
Let's read it aloud.
Never advents yourselves.
Leave that to God for he has said that he will repay
those who deserve it.
Now, notice here, he says, don't try to get even.
Don't try to retaliate.
Don't seek revenge.
Leave that up to God.
Now you say, wait a minute, Rick.
You're telling me that if I forgive him,
that means that I give up all my right to get even.
I'm saying that's exactly what forgiveness is.
You give up your right to get even.
You absorb the pain yourself without having to retaliate.
You say, but that's unfair.
You're exactly right.
Who said forgiveness is fair?
Fairness, there's a word for fairness.
It's called justice.
Justice is fair.
Forgiveness is grace.
You don't deserve forgiveness.
You deserve justice.
Aren't you glad that God doesn't give you everything
you deserve?
None of us would be here if that were true.
I mean, we always want justice in everybody else's life,
but we don't want it in our own.
God is gracious to us,
and he wants us to be gracious to others.
And so you say, I give up my right to get even.
Why? Well, notice it says here.
Leave that to God, the avenged in spart.
He has said he will repay those who deserve it.
Life is not fair,
but one day God's going to settle the score.
One day God is going to close the books.
He's going to balance the ledger.
He's going to even the odds.
He's going to write the wrongs that we see.
Some things you do see justice in this world,
but there are a lot of things you don't see justice in.
God is a God of justice,
and he is going to even the score one day.
And he says, I'm going to even the score one day,
so leave it in my hands.
Now look, who can get better justice?
You are God.
Who can do a better job?
Who can do a better job of divvying out equal payment
for sins due?
God can.
So he says, let me handle it.
Let me be the person to do that.
And you just relax, and in the meantime,
let me fill you with my grace,
and let me put your heart at peace,
because when you're holding on to hurt,
you're only hurting yourself.
So you relinquish the right to get even.
Number three, genuine forgiveness is responding
to evil with good.
Genuine forgiveness is responding to evil with good.
Now let's look at this verse, Luke six,
do good to those who hate you,
bless those who curse you,
and pray for those who mistreat you.
How can you tell when you've really released somebody
who's hurt you?
How can you tell when you genuinely forgiven them?
You can pray for God to bless them.
That's how.
When you come to the point that you can actually pray,
God bless that person who hurt me.
You'll know forgiveness is complete in your heart.
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Hi, this is Alex Cantrowitz.
I'm the host of Big Technology podcast,
a long time reporter and an on air contributor to CNBC.
And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out
how artificial intelligence is changing the business world
and our lives.
So each week on Big Technology,
I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech
and outsiders trying to influence it.
Asking where this is all going,
they come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon,
and plenty more.
So if you wanna be smart with your wallet,
your career choices, and meetings with your colleagues,
and at dinner parties,
listen to Big Technology podcast wherever you get your podcasts.
This is Mike Fuello of Lexicon Valley.
And I'm Bob Garfield.
Are you one of those people who sometimes uses
words?
Do you communicate or acquire information
with, you know, language?
Hey, us too.
So join us on Lexicon Valley to chew over the history,
culture, and many mysteries of English.
Plus some ice cracks.
Find us on one of those apps where people listen to podcasts.
Not just at your own.
You know I've said many times,
the hurt people hurt people,
and that we hurt other people
because we're hurting ourselves.
And when somebody hurts you,
it's because most likely they're hurting on the inside.
And when you have genuinely forgiven a person,
you can look past the ways that they've hurt you,
and you can see how they're hurting,
and how that hurt was part of the reason
they chose to hurt you.
Out of their hurt, they began to hurt others.
When you can look at their hurt,
you know you've genuinely forgiven.
When you can pray for God to bless them,
when you can do good to those who hate you,
when you can bless those who curse you.
You're responding to evil with good.
See Rick, how in the world could I ever do that?
That's impossible.
I couldn't do that for that person who's hurt me?
Well, you can't, unless you do one thing.
That is allow the love of God to penetrate every fiber
of your life, because only the love of God
can cause you to do something like that.
Look at this verse.
First Corinthians 13, five says,
love keeps, read it with me.
No record of, no record of wrongs.
The guy was having a big argument with his wife,
and the next morning went to the office and he said,
man, last night my wife got historical.
And his friend said, don't you mean hysterical?
He said, no, historical.
She told me everything I've ever done wrong.
Do you ever do that?
I do.
And the Bible says that when I do it, I'm being hateful.
I'm not doing it in love.
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
That doesn't mean you forget the wrongs.
It means you just don't use them as ammunition.
It means you don't pull them out
and use them to retaliate.
You see, what most of us like to do
is we want to forgive for a hurt,
but we want to hold onto it to and stockpile it
so that later on, if we do something wrong
and we get accused, they say, well, you did this,
yes, but you did this.
Well, you did this, yes, but you did this.
And the Bible said that when you do that,
you're being hateful, because love keeps no record
of wrongs.
There's a fourth thing, it's part of genuine forgiveness.
Not just remembering how much I've been forgiven
and relinquishing my right to get even
and responding to evil with good,
but it's also repeating the process
as long as necessary.
You do these things over and over and over and over,
because forgiveness is not a one shot event.
How long do you have to keep forgiving a person?
Well, you have to do it as long as the feeling of revenge
keep coming back.
Peter asked that question of Jesus.
Peter said, Lord, how often should I forgive somebody
who sends against me seven times?
Now, Peter's thinking he's being really magnanimous here
because Jewish law said he had to forgive a person three times.
So he doubles it and throws one in for good measure.
Hey, Lord, how about seven times?
Like, boy, am I a super saint?
Seven times, Lord.
And Jesus goes, Peter, not quite.
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Hi, this is Alex Cantrowitz.
I'm the host of Big Technology podcast,
a longtime reporter and an on-air contributor to CNBC.
And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out
how artificial intelligence is changing the business world
and our lives.
So each week on Big Technology,
I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech
and outsiders trying to influence it,
asking where this is all going.
They come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon,
and plenty more.
So if you want to be smart with your wallet,
your career choices, and meetings with your colleagues
and at dinner parties, listen to Big Technology podcast
wherever you get your podcasts.
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How about 70 times seven?
The point is for infinity.
For as long as it takes.
Until you've let it go.
And you have to keep forgiving that person
over and over until the pain stops
and the desire to get revenge goes away.
Now you know as well as I do.
You can come to service or you can pray in a quiet time
and you can say, dear Jesus Christ,
I know that this bitterness is bad for me
and I know I need to forgive him.
And so Lord, I forgive that person.
And five minutes later, you want to kill him again.
And so you have to say it again.
And when the memory comes back, you say it again.
And when the memory comes back, you say it again.
And again, and again, and again, and again, 70 times seven.
You just keep doing it until the pain goes away.
Because if they really hurt you,
it's gonna take more than once.
Because the memory's gonna keep coming back.
And you have to repeat the process as long as necessary.
It's gotta be continual, it's a process.
Tell me you say, I've forgiven them.
Why do I still hurt?
Because it hasn't happened yet.
You gotta keep forgiving them.
Now every time you hurt, you go back over in your mind,
say, God, I forgive them again
until you know that you've released them.
Now I need to tell you, it is not always advisable.
It's not always practical.
In fact, it's not even always possible
to go to your offender and tell them that you forgive them.
There could be numerous reasons.
Times may have changed.
They may not even remember the event.
Or they never even knew what happened.
They maybe they've remarried.
They may be dead for that matter.
There are many reasons where sometimes you cannot
go back to a person and offer forgiveness in person.
So what do you do?
Well one thing you can do is use the technique
of the empty chair, where you imagine that offender
sitting down in that empty chair,
and then you telling them how it felt.
This is why I've hated you all these years.
This is why I resent you.
This is why I felt hurt.
And you pour out your heart to that chair,
and then you say, but because of Jesus Christ
and because of His grace in my own life,
I'm letting you go.
I'm setting you free.
I'm releasing you.
I'm not gonna bring it up again.
I'm not gonna hold it against you.
Not because you deserve it, because they don't.
They don't deserve it.
Forgiveness is grace.
I'm doing it because Jesus says to do it.
And I'm letting it go.
Or maybe you need to write a letter,
and you need to pour out in that letter.
This is how I've heard all these years.
And this is how it's been in my life.
And this is what's bothered me for all these months.
But I'm letting it go.
And I want you to know that I forgive you.
And then maybe you don't mail that letter.
Now, some people you do need to go directly to,
but sometimes it's not the best thing.
You might get a good Christian, mature Christian
to advise you on whether you ought to go directly
or you ought to write a letter that you never sent.
Now, that sounds pretty simple,
but it certainly isn't easy.
Genuine forgiveness is never, never easy.
I have no doubt that in the crowd this size,
a lot of you are carrying some deep wounds.
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Hi, this is Alex Cantrowitz.
I'm the host of Big Technology podcast,
a longtime reporter and an on-air contributor to CNBC.
And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out
how artificial intelligence is changing
the business world and our lives.
So each week on Big Technology,
I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech
and outsiders trying to influence it.
Asking where this is all going,
they come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon,
and plenty more.
So if you want to be smart with your wallet,
your career choices,
and meetings with your colleagues and at dinner parties,
listen to Big Technology podcast
or ever you get your podcasts.
Every day the world gets a little weirder
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You're carrying some pain that you've carried for months,
maybe even years.
And yet when you think about that person who hurt you
through betrayal or rejection or something else,
man, it's still as fresh as if it happened this morning.
And the pain is still there and you still hurt
and you're still filled with resentment.
So what do you do?
How are you gonna get on with your life?
You say, Rick, why, why in the world
should I forgive that person who hurt me so much?
You have no idea how much they hurt me.
I don't, you're right, I don't.
Why in the world should I offer grace
to that person?
You ought to do it for three reasons, that's why.
Number one, I need to be gracious to others.
I need to forgive others who have hurt me
because God has been gracious to me.
In fact, He is gracious and a moment-my-moment basis.
And if you can't forgive, you need to just pause a minute
and realize how much God has already forgiven you.
Because you will never have to forgive anyone else.
More than Jesus Christ has already forgiven you.
Not a chance.
You will never have to forgive anyone more
than God has already forgiven you.
And maybe what you need to do is just stop for a minute
and consider, reconsider,
that you haven't always gotten what you deserved either.
That God has been gracious with you.
And the Bible says because we've been forgiven by Christ,
we are compelled to forgive those who hurt us.
There's a second reason,
and that is because the alternative is bitterness.
And we know that one doesn't work.
We've talked a lot about the futility of bitterness
here at Saddleback.
We've talked about the fact that scientists tell us
that the most unhealthy emotion there is
is the emotion of resentment.
That it always hurts you more than anybody else.
It's like taking cancer or fire into your heart.
It's going to eat you up.
And you always hurt yourself more with bitterness
than you do the other person.
While you're stewing, while you're fretting,
while you're resenting,
while you're thinking of retaliation and revenge,
while you are rehearsing the pain
over and over and over in your mind.
They're going along their merry way, totally oblivious.
They've dropped it.
You're not hurting anybody but yourself
with your resentment.
The Bible says that in the book of Job.
You're only hurting yourself with your anger.
You see, resentment will not change the past,
no matter how much you resent it.
It's not going to change the past.
And resentment will not solve the problem right now.
It is incapable of solving any problem.
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Hi, this is Alex Cantrowitz.
I'm the host of big technology podcast, a long time reporter
and an on air contributor to CNBC.
And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how artificial intelligence
is changing the business world and our lives.
So each week on big technology, I bring on key actors from companies
building AI tech and outsiders trying to influence it.
Asking where this is all going.
They come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon,
and plenty more.
So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices,
and meetings with your colleagues and at dinner parties,
listen to big technology podcast wherever you get your podcasts.
Every day the world gets a little weirder and a lot more awesome.
Cool stuff daily takes a look at everything from mining and space
to the latest in the fight against cancer to how AI is basically
changing everything.
It's all the cool stuff you didn't know you needed to know.
Join us for cool stuff daily as we take a quick look at science,
tech, and the wait what stories that make you sound way smarter at dinner.
Subscribe to cool stuff daily now because the future is happening fast
and it's way too fun to miss.
And resentment doesn't even make you feel better.
In fact, it makes you feel worse.
It robs you of joy.
It allows that person in your past to continue to hurt you now.
And that's dumb.
Because they can't hurt you anymore,
unless you allow them to,
by rehearsing the memory over and over.
Resentment doesn't work.
Bitterness doesn't work.
The Bible says in the book of Hebrews chapter 12,
I love the Philips paraphrase.
Be careful that none of you fails to respond to the grace
which God gives.
For if he does, there can be very easily,
there can very easily spring up in him a bitter spirit,
which is not only bad in itself,
but it can also poison the lives of many others,
like your children,
like your husband or your wife,
and others, so let it go.
The third reason you need to forgive that person
is because God expects you to do it.
God expects you to do it.
Matthew 6, 15, let's read this verse aloud.
Jesus said this.
For if you forgive men when they sin against you,
your Heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive men, they're sins.
Your Father will not forgive your sins.
I don't know how to make it any clearer
than the way Jesus said it right there.
Forgiveness is a two way street.
Do not burn the bridge.
You've got to walk across to get into heaven.
Jesus says we cannot receive what we are unwilling to give.
He said, well, I could never forgive that person.
Then I hope you never sin.
Because you're going to need forgiveness to get into heaven.
You say, but Rick,
I just don't feel like doing it will do it anyway.
Because it's the right thing to do.
And you're only hurting yourself.
Now the fact is, you're going to be hurt in life.
That's an established fact.
The only question is, what are you going to do with those hurts?
And if you hold onto that hurt and you let it build in your life,
you will end up being a
gnarled up, shriveled up, bitter old person.
And your heart is going to grow hard
and you're going to die bitter and lonely.
Because nobody wants to be around a bitter person.
And something else happens.
It's an amazing thing that bitterness does to us.
If you don't release that person through forgiveness.
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Hi, this is Alex Cantrowitz.
I'm the host of Big Technology podcast,
a long time reporter and an on-air contributor to CNBC.
And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out
how artificial intelligence is changing the business world
and our lives.
So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors
from companies building AI tech and outsiders trying to influence it.
Asking where this is all going.
They come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon,
and plenty more.
So if you want to be smart with your wallet,
your career choices, and meetings with your colleagues
and at dinner parties, listen to Big Technology podcast
wherever you get your podcasts.
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If you don't release them,
you're going to start to resemble them,
because that's what bitterness does to you.
I'm never going to be like you fell in the blank.
My dad, my mother, my brother, my sister, my ex-spouse.
I'm never going to who you focus on
on the whole time you say that.
The Bible teaches that what we focus on,
we move toward, and what we move toward, we become.
What you resist persists.
You gotta let it go for your own sake.
You gotta let it go.
You see, Rick, you don't understand.
I could never forgive that person.
I could never do that.
You don't know how much they've hurt me.
I don't know that.
God does.
You say, I could never forgive that person.
That's why you need Jesus.
You see, you can't manufacture enough love in your life
to handle all the ways you're going to be hurt.
You are going to be hurt in life.
And you don't have enough love to overpower that on your own.
You need Jesus Christ, and you need His love in your life.
Or you're going to die a bitter person.
And you need Him to fill you with love not every year,
but every moment of the day.
And as I said earlier, the reason why some of you have a hard time forgiving
is because you don't feel forgiven.
So let's start with a prayer today.
Would you bow your heads?
I want to pray a prayer forgiveness, and I'd like for you to follow me in it.
It's a prayer of liberation.
It's a prayer that can change your life.
Let me say, I've forgiven that person the past.
Why do I still hurt?
Because you've got to keep forgiving them until the pain goes away.
Would you pray this prayer in your heart?
Dear Jesus Christ, you know that I've been hurt by...
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And you know that my resentment has made me act in ways
that have been unreasonable and unhelpful
and unhealthy.
I need your power to release and forgive those who've hurt me.
So I can stop letting them control me.
Would you please replace my hurt with the peace of Jesus Christ?
And God, I realize that I've heard a lot of other people
with my habits and my bad decisions, my hang-ups.
Would you please forgive me for the way I've heard others?
And help me to make a list of those that I've harmed.
And in the right way, at the right time,
to humbly seek to make amends.
Jesus Christ, I want to refocus my life on you
and I want to face the future courageously with love
and peace in my heart.
Would you replace my resentment with your love
and replace my hurt with your peace
and replace my bitterness with your grace?
Thank you for your graciousness to me.
Thank you for forgiving me for the things that I've done wrong.
If you've never invited Christ into your life,
why don't you ask him right now?
And Jesus Christ, would you please come into my life?
And fill me with your love.
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Guide me from this day forward.
Put my trust in you.
And your name I pray.
Amen.
Hey, if you've just prayed along with Rick to accept Jesus in your life,
Rick would love to hear from you.
Just email Rick at PastorRick.com.
We'll send you free tools to help start your relationship with Jesus.
Right now, here's Pastor Rick with a special message.
You know, when I started Saddleback Church over 40 years ago,
just a handful of people in our living room,
I also began writing a simple devotional just for the people in our church
to help them start each day with hope and with truth
and with peace that comes for Jesus Christ.
Well, you know, that little devotional grew and grew and grew
and today daily hope is one of the largest email devotions
in the whole world.
And each day, people all around the globe are reconnecting
with God's promises and finding fresh strength in His Word
to face whatever comes their way.
And here's the best part.
It's absolutely free.
Okay, we don't have any charge for this.
Every day you'll get a quick devotional read and a podcast
that you can listen to on the go.
Now, you know, in a world that's more distracted and uncertain than ever,
I want to help you start your day centered on what never changes.
And what never changes is that God's love, His unconditional love for you
and His promises to you.
You know, if you'll just spend just a few minutes a day in the morning
with the Lord, it can bring so much more clarity, more purpose,
more peace to everything that happens in your day.
Particularly, psychologists have said that what you do
with the first five minutes of your day pretty much sets the tone.
So, friend, you were never meant to go through life alone.
I want to personally invite you to just sign up for the daily hope devotional.
Do it today.
I think it's going to bring fresh encouragement to your walk in God.
If you'd like to sign up for the daily devotional, it's easy.
Just go to pastorrick.com.
That's pastorrick.com.
Be sure to join us next time as we look into God's word for our daily hope.
This program is sponsored by Pastor Rick's Daily Hope
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Rick Warren Sermons

Rick Warren Sermons

Rick Warren Sermons