Right In The Gully

0:00I think without a doubt, more than any other factor be it diet, weather, hormones even, the thing that determines if I'm going to have a good day versus a get back in my coffin day will be sleep. And yes, dialing that in has been a lifelong journey for me, but sometimes it's the easiest solution that is the most obvious. Like what about your mattress? Sue, I just love that as personal as sleep is to you, Helix understands that your mattress is your mattress. Are you a side sleeper? Do you like things firm but with a topper? Are you a short nighty gal like who or a wool socks kind of sleeper like Sue? Helix takes all of this into consideration and match me with the Helix midnight elite. It's the perfect balance of comfort and support that I didn't even realize I was missing. Free shipping every time, 120 night sleep trial, they're not missing around with their Helix happiness guarantee. Go to helix sleep dot com slash add to cart for up to 30% off.

1:05That's helix sleep dot com slash add to cart for up to 30% off helix sleep dot com slash add to cart. I'm chomping at the bit to get out my haystacks and pumpkin door stops because fall is finally here. The weather is a changing the air feels a different and it's the perfect time to produce quince for just a few cozy items that usher in the new season. You know the drill here. Quince does everyday essentials using premium materials like cashmere organic cotton silks at the kind of prices we aunties love but they also keep adding stuff. You know they got jewelry. Pretty much everything in my cut redraw is from quince and even chic furniture. They work directly with ethical factories cut out the problematic middleman and we purveyors of great taste get great craftsmanship without the markup. So let's you want to go into your quince party would you like me to fire up the app?

2:06Yeah, where you go with the lady? I don't you're not going to believe this but I've purchased another rug from quince. So what is that? What's the count on that? Let's see here one two three and four. Four rugs and quince I have to say. So quince is great rugs. I'm not kidding. I didn't touch one before I added to cart. That's not what we do at quince right and yet it they're perfect. There's such a quality. Yeah. Sue you got some clothes. Now the last quince order that I got was from my mom I've decided it weren't a new era. I've thrown at everything she owns and from now on she will be only wearing sets. I want to come over when I take care of my mom and be like here's your green set your blue set your Heather Gray set. So I got four sets for her the best super soft fleece joggers and then the matching super soft fleece crew and the super soft fleece mock neck.

3:10They hold up well in the wash easy peasy and you're done. For the fall pieces you will reach for most at quince download the quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com slash add to cart get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK too that's q u i n c e dot com slash add to cart. Welcome to another episode of add to cart. I'm your auntie cool up you like sock and I'm your other auntie sujim park. Wow. It's September back to school baby we did back to school we did it. Wait so is your little Emmy back in school as well right now as you're putting up yet right tomorrow tomorrow. Big day new preschool.

4:11I mean we're going to talk about it even more as we dive into our carts but this is the end of summer sue let's bid it a do let's say goodbye on record possibly the best summer I've ever had with my kids. Whoa wait did you ask them if you were an easy breezy mama yet and we've all been dying waiting with baited breath. Now that you say that like that like scratches a little part of my spider drum but I mean I can't even believe those words came out of my mouth. I said I was going to be an easy breezy what did I say you said that was your goal and that at the end of the summer you would ask them and not only would you ask them you would voice memo and get their reply. Okay I'm happy to do that maybe that can be my one social post of the year but I already

5:15know what they're going to say. No. Which that was my prediction if we were doing a draft question me asking that question even for them they would be like what's the punch line what's the where's the camera where's the yeah. Ashden Kutcher hiding behind a bush like it's not even realistic that you've been body snatched. Like that would actually be like okay well it finally happened. Filling in the gaps perfectly like body snatched that is more of a realistic question than was your mother easy breezy this summer. However however let's get back to it I do want to hear why this was like the best summer ever with your kids. Well it is what it is when you don't get on always good to start there soon. When you don't get on a 14 hour international flight even though you will be doing that

6:23I'll be doing that next year and probably for every summer after you know because it's necessary. There is an easy breeziness to it obviously when you're not checking for passports and going to the emergency room in a foreign country turns out that can really relax your nervous system. Hmm. That can't be it though. That can't be the reason. I know that isn't the reason but that's just one of the many reasons and I think my kids are getting older. God I mean I'll stand on this soap box. Some parents have seasons and my season so my kid is 14 and 12. It started this summer of like oh here's my season so it is only 14 years. Only 14 years to get here. They're now too mature and big for camps but they just you know hang out with friends so

7:26I don't have to do the whole camp pick up and drop a figure out what camp you want to which is great because like the thought of a little one at home all day that's a lot more work but you know what's even less work than camp is not doing any of it and just letting the summer unfold. So you know I've been a little bit of a little bit of a mess since school started. I'm going to get my sea legs or is it my land legs? I got to get my land legs. Well you do live in the American Riveriera aka Santa Barbara so I do think sea legs does apply here. Both my sea legs my back legs are sea legs my front legs are land legs. And I got to have all four paws on the ground. Yes. That back pussy and crack needs to be fully aligned to Martins of Fall. I'm going to let that sit right where she sits.

8:30Right in the gully. Right in the gully. Right in that lane I described. Oh Sue. Sue. No I think it was a good summer. But yeah I feel like I got to spend a entire week with my sister Anita and my brother Mom Paul and of course my dearest Kai my Kai my Kai who's 16 who drives who dates who was. What? Yeah yeah this license. Yeah. Oh my god Mr. Cologne Maxine. I know. Yes. What was the business that he was doing? He was like trading like baseball cards or something and then selling them back. Oh my goodness. That sounds more innocent. I mean he was cleaning. He learned how to like clean the cards so they would get graded properly. I mean yeah. He has inherited an entrepreneurial spirit.

9:33That isn't removed you know three generations here in America. No he I let him drive. I was in the passenger side. He drove Uncle Scottie's what I call the P wagon. His little sporty BMW around. I was very proud of him. He cooked the family dinner one night which was incredible with a little bit of assistance from his dad but he made us all steaks and this was his menu. Steak and eggs. So he made a steak. He made us over easy eggs to dip the steaks in. It's adorable. I made the sides. I did some roasted potatoes and sweet potatoes and carrots and I think I did something else. I did oh roasted cauliflower too because otherwise no veg. He wanted only potatoes I was like let's just see what else we can do.

10:38That's a universal Kai menu then I suppose. Maybe it just comes with the name right potatoes and meat. Yeah. He no matter what type of restaurant we go to be it seafood be it you know any variation of a chicken tender and fry. Oh my goodness maybe they should just get a get a single it together. I mean it's pretty similar. It's similar. They are very similar and I've always felt a spiritual connection to your Kai not just because of the name I just I feel like the essence of him I get. Yes. Yes and I to your Kai and I. So let's get into our cart shall we dive in let's do it. Let's get to business. Let me let me go first. Sue in my cart I have an add to cue.

11:43Sue have you heard of the movie the magic far away tree. Hit that Lincoln and watch the trailer. We've moved to the countryside. Dad's crazy plans infecting the whole family. I feel like their childhood is slipping away. Pully the kids need this. Just remember don't go in that wood up top. Some folks say it's in Janet. Strange creatures. For all the nights. You have the usual things. A modern family relocates to the countryside where the children discover a magical tree with eccentric residents. They are transported to fantastical lands rekindling their family bond through adventures. It's starring Andrew Garfield and Claire Foy as the parents of your great actors from the UK and Sweden. You might be familiar with Nicola Cofflin that's Lady Whistledown from Bridgerton. I was not aware that this movie was coming out at all.

12:45It is a it is a family film. I had noticed that Andrew Garfield and Claire Foy were doing some press but I didn't know what for. I didn't get past the vanity fair like lie detector clip that they were doing. I find them to be both so charming. Then the heat. The heat got me last weekend. I was like of all places I went to. I was like where I need a family movie. To take my little one so that we're not like roasting outside. That's how I just happened upon this movie. I didn't know anything about the book it's based on which is 1943 novel by Enoch Blighten. So this is UK, this is British but I had no reference. And was so so pleasantly surprised. I love Sue that like the inciting incident isn't like a parent's death.

13:49I mean the stakes are high but it's just not that you know. And the parents like each other and they're just trying to connect and it's magical. And after I watched I did like want to know about what it was based on. And so the Enoch Blighten while beloved it was a product of its time. And there are absolute rightful criticisms of you know racism and classism and misogyny and all of that. And they did a great job of updating it like for our current time. And a lot of it is about like wanting to connect with each other and the family and that be on devices but it's not like totally anti device too. But very relatable. I highly recommend it. I just texted it to Mike because for him like he's just a movie dad. He just takes him. If he's got any amount of time.

14:50I feel like my kids are the only ones that are like oh movies again. They'll while he'll take anything. I love that. I love that. He just for him his happy place is in a movie theater. So I told him I was like I want to come with you to this. I bet you haven't even heard of it. So I'm excited. It's very rare. I go to the movies with a kids movie you know with the kids again. I just let Mike do that. I don't like it. I'm the mom that's like mm-hmm about 20 minutes and I'm slipping out going to the bathroom heavy quotes. Then popping over to Ulta. Sure. Maybe grabbing a matcha blend flurry from the place next door and just waiting out the two hours and then sauntering back in 10 minutes before closing time. I mean that's a high key move and I get why you would do that. Yeah. Your kids are old enough to sit in a theater. You and I also did that when we were at the beach in Santa Barbara as well.

15:55We went to children with their fathers. We didn't leave the children alone at the beach. That's right. That's what we did. That's what we did. How do Bevy had some cookies? Some snacks. Yeah. Yeah. And so when there's something that I can participate in and it's generally a live action something. Not that I'm opposed to animated but it's got to be something quite special. But yeah, I'm all for it. I love this ad to Q. Yay. We kind of talked about Emmy and going back to school and I, what I purchased it I immediately forwarded to you but I realized I hadn't talked about it on the show. Emmy starting a new preschool so her bag was falling apart after two years of preschool her old one. I was like, what do we, you know, I want to hear something new. This is a new era, a new beginning. And so our old friends remember when CalPAC was with us before.

16:55I certainly do. Asian Americano and golden era. I circled back to CalPAC when we were tight. Tight. Not so loose. Oh gosh. I mean, the tightest era. Loose is not to, I mean, cavernous is what we are. They have done a collab. They have done a collab with Miffy and they just had this adorable set. It's the Smithy Kids School Essential Bundle with the small backpack in Miffy Pink Zoo Trip. It is so, so cute. It's the bundle includes a backpack, lunch bag, pencil case, ice packs and a puffy bag charm. It's made for ages three to five. It's sized specifically for her little shoulders and their early routines or steps. It's so good. Now, I knew this when I bought it, but explained to me why just this week, I was like, oh yeah.

18:01Her school and most preschools and most schools in general, they don't want the kids to be walking a billboards. They don't want characters. Oh. That's, that's, that's not what they want. Oh. Okay. Well, maybe in these high falluten preschools, we've been involved in who do the, I haven't, we never got that memo. Okay. Great. And I'm sure in elementary school, what are they going to do, right? I mean, but they, they're very clear. And I think I'm simply trying to get away with it. But here's what's going through my brain. I'm like, well, I mean, Emmy doesn't even know what Miffy is. Like she doesn't know what's Miffy. Like, yeah, this is how Kitty, yeah. She doesn't know she's not, to her, it's a cute bunny, non-descript bunny. I didn't see, well, now there is a few Asian teachers. Shit. Now, this is, you know, when you're looking at this pattern, they're listening. No, no.

19:01No, no. This is not your average Disney cars, because that was the era that Kai went to preschool and everything he owned had the cars logo on it. This is a lighting McQueen. Exactly. I was trying to remember the name of it. And that weird rusty dump truck, that was like the comedy foil. Meater. Why the fuck do you know this? Because I've seen them all. Oh my god. I've seen them in bits and pieces probably 80,000 times. And it's like I have a block. I cannot look at that movie ever again. This isn't like that. This is very chic. This is very understated. I will be interested to see what quite teacher comes to you and says, you know, I love Miffy. I just don't think, I think Miffy is still quite under the radar here in America.

20:06I think so. Now is she, you know, at home goods, is she at Marshall's? And then she's going to think under the ray. And maybe she'll think it's like some off brand Hello Kitty, you know, like a generic Hello Kitty because it's just so, Miffy is Miffy's, Miffy's very, you know, I think Miffy originates where like somewhere in Sweden or the Netherlands or something, you know, it's like where design is just a, you know, it's a cozy feeling. It's not a slap you cross the face logo. That's right. Miffy's not singing songs. Yeah. Look, I'm trying to get away with it. And I accept that I may not accept tomorrow. Are you sweating bullets as you bring her in or are you going to act like try me? Try me easy breezy. Oh, oh, what's that? This is something.

21:08I'm off. The button. Spoon. Spoon. I guess I thought this was a bunny. No one's going to say shit. Yeah, it was gifted. Oh, just lie, straight lie. Good. Good, good, good. Is that a good way to start a relationship? Yeah, start a relationship. Oh, at a new school? Yeah. That's why you pay them. Yeah. Yeah, so you can do whatever you want. I don't know. I mean, that's why I think, but hey, I'm no tuition expert. Oh, no, I think we've established here at Atta Cart that's huge and I are not financial wizards. Businesses. You're not. Take it. Yeah, but that doesn't, you know, we sure own it. Yeah. Is it running? No. We own all of it. Our mistakes. But tooth and nail for it.

22:10Put it down on legal paper. It can tell you what we own or what it does. We own it. Or if we profit in any way. Cavernous error. I don't know. Cavernous error. No. Screaming in the void together. Well Sue, you know I've been on a bit of a home refresh and for a high touch torus like myself who feasts with her senses what my surroundings look like affects my mood. Article, we thank you for joining us at Atta Cart because you get that I want high quality solid materials at reasonable prices. Please. The park vendors here have been an article home from day one. Now, who you can imagine how picky Mike is with what we bring into the home. But do you know how hard it is to find furniture brands that use real, often natural

23:12materials and looks like a high end boutique hotel. I just finally got a real bed friends. I've been sleeping on a sofa bed for a year. Oh Sue, and I know those prices make my shower under the stairs on see very happy be it mid century modern coastal, scandy inspired pieces. It all fits. It all goes together beautifully so you don't have to overthink it. But most importantly, the pieces are chosen to last. Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more to claim visit article.com slash at to cart and the discount will be automatically applied to checkout. That's article.com slash at to cart for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. Now think back to your last beauty appointment. If it was a really nice one, it's in part because of something you didn't notice. The whole experience was probably effortless from booking to checking out, making appointments.

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25:19Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today. So it's back to school. I had a great summer but I want to be in fall. You know I want to be in fall. So I too, while I don't go to school, I felt this sort of like resurgent of like, okay now it's time to like get back to whatever business I need to be at. And for who to be in business, like what's on our feet? You know, I have gotten, wait, let me go back. Yeah. Because this is another collab. Okay. And I will always get, I will be gotten by a collab. You know what? After so many years of doing this, I have to say that you are the collab queen. You are such a sucker. Such a sucker for a collab. For an X. Yeah. You two team it up. Something team it up. Hold it in hands.

26:19You two. I'm someone entities. You know, I think that the amount of scrolling that we do, you know, it gets numbing both to the eyes and to the brain. And so when you get people from different parts of the restaurant at the same table, you do perk up a little bit. So maybe that's what it is. I don't know. You are a collab queen. It's kind of like, oh, I like you, I ship you. I'm glad you guys are fucking with each other. You got me. So you got me. What is this collab? Okay, so this collab is for mommy. That's what a collab was for Emmy. And I got some shoes. This is the Beams collab with Hoka. It's the Bondy 7. Now Hoka, of course, Sujan brought the brand to us. These are the nurse shoes. The pair that I got, I still wear.

27:20And you can't wear these to the ground. The sole is that thick. If you shave half of that sole down, that's a regular shoe. It's been through. It's seen things. I'm still, I still love them. I still love them. So, but I hadn't bought a pair of Hokas in a very long time. Okay. There wasn't a need. No, there wasn't a need for another Hokus. So, and then, so Beams. Are you familiar with Beams? Of course. Okay. So, Beams, born in Tokyo inspired by Los Angeles. So, they're reimagined American style through a Japanese lens, been around since 1976. It's streetwear, it's denim, it's, you know, it's cool. Okay. I mean, it's cool. It's cool. I mean, Beams is like in Japan, it's, has been always will be, continues to be the cool kid on the block. Like, anything Beams is doing, if you have no taste or sense of what is going on in the world,

28:20that's okay. They're gonna do the thinking for you. I love it. That's why these collabs work. Because, you know, Hoka can be a little intimidating for someone who's maybe not a sneaker person. Maybe he doesn't know if they can pull off a giant platform, Kushiny Cloud. I get it. When I put those, you know, those nurse toppers on my feet, I did pause. I still pause. But if Beams says to do it, I'm right where I should be. So, what this collab looks like, you know, this is from the site, okay. They're channeling the visual harmony of Japanese Zen Gardens. Oh, they got you. They got you so far. The bond. They're so far. The bond. The bond. The bond. The bond. The bond. The bond. The bond. The bond. The bond. The bond. The bond. The bond. The bond. The bond. The bond. The bond. Yeah throughout a clip though,

29:23our great Octav 3's Rob got a one below five Aaah. The end of the video All right. Thank you. All right. Everyone is at the same time, pore for trivia list. All right. All right. When I was, yeah. Absolutely. We don't think there's a problem with Zero And it's not your lunch order, okay? The color is chestnut slash black bean. I hope beans. It really is. That's a little below the belt. You know, you didn't have to go with that. I mean, they were like, just in case you didn't know, we were japonais. I love them. I'm so happy in them. They're great. I mean, camouflage, just you know. I mean, what? What am I? I'm not hiding. If anything, they're ostentatious. The eye just goes down. But they're chestnut. The camouflage is chestnut, which basically means tan. And black bean.

30:23These are brown model shoes. Like they're there. You know, that's what they are. Exactly. I got them from the bean site. It's not even on there anymore. And it's old out there and on the hook. I'll aren't you pleased. I am so pleased with it. 46 years old. And my e and my nephew are so similar. And so many ways. So many ways. Please just punch my friend. You're going to walk into that classroom tomorrow with those lies in your pocket. The characters flowing out. And yeah, chestnuts on your feet. I dare someone come up to this stylish woman who's been suckered and tell her she can't bring a miffy bag into it. I dare. Won't happen. I've got money on it. So we're going to take a quick break. We'll be back with my last item and then we'll get right into your card.

31:30We're back on Add to Card, I'm auntie Koo. And I'm auntie Sue. Let's hear that Add to Q theme song one more time. Back to school. Let's learn something TV. We can be taught by TV. Okay. Sue and my auntie Koo is from Disney Plus. Yeah. It's a show called it's a mini series. Just three episodes. Pompey out of time with Tom Hiddleston. In Pompey, you can time travel. So let's go back to that day in AD 79. This show is the story of the last 24 hours of the Roman city. Tom Hiddleston. When this came up on your screen, you said yes. Yeah. Are you a history buff? Are you a Tom Hiddleston fan? I love Loki. And you like history. Wow, I'm learning the history. I do like history.

32:31I do like it today. Okay. I do, I do. Now let me just tell you what the show is before I dive into my review. And again, it isn't at the queue. So I am recommending it. So the synopsis of the show is, could anyone survive Pompey's destruction? The actor Tom Hiddleston leads a groundbreaking investigation into the final 24 hours of a Suviess's eruption, combining cutting edge archaeology with his own intuition. Oh, he asks Tom's in it. Whoa, Tom is using his own intuition in this. Oh, yeah, he. Wow, he's like, he's not narrating. He is, he's in it. He's in the action. Oh, yeah, he is. He too is throwing his neck back, posting and cracking to this. Okay. If you know anything about Tom Hiddleston, he commits. Tom asks what really happened to the people beneath the ash, tracing a teenager, a business woman, and a soldier as they face impossible choices in a race against time?

33:35I need to know if he produces. You continue. Yes, he did. Of course he did. Okay. He went to Pompey when he was a kid, when he was like 17. He has always had a fascination. This is the lore. Okay. This is the lore. This is on the show. You see his share of black face in the Italian waters on the same trip that he did with his friends first time away from his parents. You find out that he at university learned the classics. And anytime he can read Latin, he's going to do it. Huh? He had seen Thor's Disney Plus shows. I've spoken extensively about these shows. You and I both have enjoyed the limitless series. Season one and two. Sure. So he saw that and was like, oh wow. Like what, you know, the level. What's my level? Yeah. And also the level of budget and like, you know, so so so know that know that about him.

34:36Okay. So Hiddleston, I am as I mentioned, has played Loki. I do love that series. He uses Loki like powers to play with time and space. Wait. So is this a sort of an actual nonfiction kind of storytelling documentary about Pompey? Yes. With using the dramatization of reenactments. Right. Right. Which is still within the documentary genre. So that's happening. That is true. Is it also true that you're telling me that Tom Hiddleston is using Loki like powers to time travel? That's right. As a storytelling device. Oh, oh, oh, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I think I understand. Okay. So this is like when Chris Hemsworth in his series, which is about aging, when he gets all that makeup to look like he's 90 years old and he dances with his wife

35:39who also has 90 year old makeup on. Do you remember that scene? I do and I love that scene. It was crazy. No, I think it's more. I don't know. I think this is even more fanciful. Take it back. Yeah. Yes and no like because he's Tom Hiddleston. Yeah. Tending that he's Loki. But he is using sort of like the devices to go back and forward in time to examine time back and forward because it's all about what happens in this 24 hour span. So think about more of like going in and out of historical reenactments. What this is is like this is highly watchable historical entertainment. Yeah. So it's meant to entice younger generations to learn about history. Okay. So the dramatization is that yes, possibly there's these three people that he's following. There is records of them like being alive, being from there.

36:45But he's dramatizing what happened to them in that 24 hours based on what they know about science and all that stuff right. But again though, again, it's super expensive. Tom is in the middle of it. Every scene. Every scene. He doesn't take a break. No, it's not that. It's just that he when he is the in it, I mean, he's in it because Tom Hiddleston is an actor with a capital A. Okay. He feels things. Okay. So many soulful looks and he's like, I need to get there. I need to be there with them. I need to jump into that time. And there's just it's so incredibly at times cheesy. Like so cheesy. And it's so like like I'm in bearish, but then I'm also still going to watch. And oddly still there's something about him. I'm still attracted to him.

37:45I think he probably is insufferable. Insufferable probably. Probably. I mean, like there's something about him that I'm like, it's highly watchable. It's highly entertaining. I actually think Bender will put this on an A to Q as well. And I just just said you're asked down. Yeah. And I can watch this with my kids. Yes, it's for them. Yeah. Yeah, it's totally for them. Like okay. Okay. Pompey out of time with Tom Hiddleston. And they will learn a lot about it. It's such a mixed salad with both fruit and mayonnaise that I'm now I'm just curious as to how all this is going to go down. That's funny that you you're describing salads that come from my host home state of Minnesota. I mean, that's the perfect way to have described the situation. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I feel like. I'm like, it's good, but also wrong. It's weird because there's some meat in there too.

38:47There's a canotune. I just thrown in there as well. Nobody wanted it. But there it is. And it's called enbrosia or something like that. So gross. Anyways, that's a cue. Sue, what is your cart filled with today? Well, my cart is filled with I've been thinking about it. And as we start to leave summer, the holidays are a mere mirage in the distance. Oh, yes, please. But they will be upon us any moment. I do believe that a lot of people are getting back to work in school and gathering. There could be little potlucks. There's already the back to school picnic that's on my calendar. Gatherings that are happening, more socializing maybe in different ways.

39:47Not so like, oh, we'll just meet you at the beach. But more, let's all get together for whatever it is. I find that this is kind of we're going into that season. And you are a host queen. And so I was thinking about you as I was thinking about what are the things that some rules that I would like to establish universally. Oh, wow. Okay. Both as a guest and as a host. And my perspective is very different, obviously, than yours. Because I don't host very often. And I don't guest very often. So I was just, I'm going to throw these out here. And I would love your opinion on whether or not this is a reasonable ask or if you have maybe some additions, you know, some, some, some expansions. I love this because you, you, you've seen it all. You're asking for some agreements. Yeah. Okay. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. I have a free contract.

40:48Yes. Which I'm a big fan of. Okay. I have some boundaries, people. I think we've talked about this before, but we want to say it again because you can't say it enough. And I've run into this over the past summer. And it really irks me that if anybody is sick in your party, a child, a, your spouse, you, you're even run down. You've got a little tickle in your throat. It doesn't have to be a full-on Tylenol moment. I'm asking you to stay home. I'm asking you to have no qualms up until the moment you are to walk in that door. To be like, I hate to do this to you. But for example, you know, my daughter woke up coughing this morning and I just, I, I, I just don't want to bring this into your home. And you stay home. And that's okay.

41:48And you have rest at our age. A cancellation is also a welcome thing on our schedule. You know, even if I've prepared a feast and all of that, it's okay. I can relax into whatever version now of, you know, a lunch I prepared with my own family that is healthy and well, knowing that my good dear friend has the common courtesy to bow out if their child or someone in their party isn't feeling well. Nothing irritates me more than walking in with your kid training behind you. 10 miles of snot and you're apologizing for, you know, oh, I'm so sorry. You know, he just, oh, my God, I don't know. Maybe it's allergies. Don't tell me it's allergies. You're not a doctor. I'm not a doctor. And I need for you to stay home.

42:50Thoughts. I do, I do get it. I, yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm just also thinking about you have young, you have a young child. So that it gets tricky because if, if you're really abiding by these rules, I would say 50% of your plans are a wash. Yeah. At the age that Emmys at, we probably at this time, more so than we should play it pretty fast and loose with kids her age because like there's a few friends if they've got to hold them like it's fine because she also has one too. If they're both sniffling, it's like I, they are playing together instead of us having to play with them. Go do that. We're constantly sick in this. Yeah. I think at your age it's really hard. So I get it. But there's a few times where it's like a little snotty and you know, it's just like it's fine. It's okay. And again, we get sick. She coughs in my mouth.

43:51Right. She coughs in my mouth. I say, I asked her not to. Somehow coughs in my mouth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know. Okay. So there's that rule. And again, different seasons. Right. When you're younger, it's hard to follow these rules. My kids are a bit older. It's a lot easier. To follow this rule. I had an instance just recently where I went, I was invited to a potluck and I was asked to make something and I was like, oh, yeah, I'm going to make something. I'm going to bring it in my own dish and then bring it to the potluck and then take my dish home. Now, that made a lot of common sense to me. Right. It's a potluck. And for me, when someone's hosting, I already feel bad.

44:53You know what I mean? I already feel like as a guest, you should go above and beyond not to make more work for the host. And so when I was there, I was looking around and there were a lot of people that brought ingredients to make stuff there. Yeah. One was a baked thing like it was some kind of like cookie treat and they brought the dough and they wanted to. This is a no. That's it. This is a no. This is a hard no. That's incorrect. Another one brought years of corn. Is that what it's called when corn is raw and in a sleeve to grill on the barbecue? Who's barbecue one they brought? They wheeled over from their house. Exactly. Did they ask before? And then I'm watching the host run around. Oh yeah, let me get your baking sheet. Hold on. Let me get some tin foil for that.

45:57And I'm like, that only works if it's like, hey, we've got the grill going. If you want to grill something, bring it over and we'll grill it. Like that's the, I've never done that, but I've heard of that. That is not no. That's a big act to me when you bring something to someone's house. That thing has to be self-contained and then you leave with your own garbage. That to me is my extreme version of it maybe, but that to me as close as you can get to that, do that. You know, like I'm the type of person. If I, for example, am bringing pizzas to a party, then I am breaking those pizza boxes down and either putting it in that person's recycling or taking those boxes to my recycling. Okay, well that's above and beyond. That's above and beyond. But do you know what I mean? To me, it's like I just feel like maybe this comes from a perspective of I hate to host at for a lot all these reasons.

46:59And so I always feel like how can I make this easy for that person? But in the least, if it is a potluck and you've brought something, cook it at home, bring it in your own dish and take your dish home. Now, if you forget your dish at that person's house, say a little prayer and goodbye to that dish. Don't then text the person the next day and be like, oh, I forgot and make another adult person. Keep track of your dish and somehow figure out how to get that dish back to you. No, no, no, no, no, that's a no too. No, that's a no too. So don't put it in an anti-can-made vintage porcelain dish. Put it in a dish that someone can either throw away or doesn't mean much to you if you forget it. That's like, that happened to me. And in a good way, someone baked me a cake and they forgot the dish.

48:00And when I replied, oh my goodness, how do I, you know, how can I get this back to you? She was like, oh, I got it from my Kia, please keep it. Donate it. I'm so sorry. Don't even think about getting it back to me. And I was so relieved at that that I didn't have to carry around this dish in my trunk for two months. Yeah. In the off chance that I could run into this person again and give them back their dish that they forgot to take. So I also, it does make sense. It's this very inconvenient. Don't be inconvenient. If you're like that, just bring chips. Just bring chips. That's how you're just bring chips. Just bring candy. Just bring another great thing to bring to a price. You know, because it's heavy, you know, like, oh, I would love to try a new, fizzy type of drink. Thank you so much. That's good. I host a lot of potluck say all my Los Angeles gathering. To bring it. Yeah. Like, that's, we're family.

49:03Bring your stuff. No, I mean, it's also funny to me because like, we have a lot of chefs. Sometimes, you know, people come and they've set up a crock pot. Great. That's you. Yeah, that's possible. I do. Yeah, I have no problem with that. Great. People come through with like, coolers filled with food and take it all home. And everybody cleans up at the end. Yeah. So like, if it's a hot luck, everybody, they get it should be that's the point of it. And that's the joy of it. Yes. That everybody does a little piece of it. No one person is overwhelmed and the person hosting hosts. Yeah. That's that's what they've brought. If they cook something great, that's bonus, but that's not required. The hosting is. I also feel like to me, if somebody was like giving, bringing me like a roll of cookie dough or a sack of corn, I would say thank you and put it in my fridge. Like, thank you for this house gift. I'm not cooking the food that you brought.

50:04And to be fair, this person was like, oh, no, no, no, I'm going to do it. I just need a, do you have like a baking dish? Like, they were, you know, scooping it out. And I was looking at that being like, no, not even that. That's a no. That's a no. No, that should have been done prepared. And maybe it's a dish, I don't even know what it was because I didn't stay till the very end. But I was like, maybe it's something that has to be hot. Pick something else. That's right. Pick something else. That's right. Don't bring that to a pot. Look. I agree. That at your Thanksgiving dinner for your family. Yeah. It's not here, not here and the time in the place. I agree. These are all things that have happened to me around me. That I just have noticed. Okay, another one. And this is a very obvious one. How do you feel about people who have food allergies or maybe are picky eaters? And you invite them over and you're going to cook something. And my thing is, is then either eat before you come or bring the food that you want to eat.

51:08Yes. This has come up. I have a family member who has a lot of food restrictions. I think about five years ago and just had to be like, I would try to accommodate. I would try to make things. I would try to. The restrictions moved back and forth. These were moving targets. It came to the point of like, hey, bring what you want to eat. Bring what you want to eat. And now I think that I do think that I will make an exception. If it's a child's birthday party and your child has an allergy. It's very common if you have a birthday party to be like, hey, just so I know peanuts, all the usual. One of my kids has a friend who has a peanut allergy. And I know this. And so I have a birthday cake that my child wants and gets every year.

52:09And then I have an alternative dessert so that the child doesn't feel left out. And I'm not going to make this child bring their own cupcake. Now I was going to agree to that. And then for certain people and it's for people who appreciate it, there is an exception. Like when Jason Menzooka comes over, well, that's why I said, child. Oh, you're saying you're going to make sure. I'm going to make sure he's bad. And I'm going to make sure there are options for him that are eggless. Yes. And I'm going to ask you, is that because you guys are, that's your inner circle friend. Like that's you know what I mean? Like this, I'm sorry, I should have said this from the very beginning. Like inner circle, there are different rules. And also these rules are, there are no rules because everybody follows the same rules. Yes. In an inner circle. I'm talking about this is sort of like a work thing, a school thing.

53:10You know, it's a larger party. You know, maybe you're the plus one. You know, this is the kind of gathering, social gathering I'm talking about. But you're right. Now I have an adult family member through marriage who everything's giving, it's a thing. Yes. And that's what I was referring to before. And I like, you've got to figure this out. You're older than I am. Yes. And this has been your whole life. And yet, thanksgiving warning, it is I who is running around Bristol farms, trying to figure out how to piece together a meal that is not embarrassing. And I just wonder, it's so interesting to me. And then I had some friends over who are visiting, they do this once a year. I love them to death. And these are inner circle friends. So it's a little bit different. But even he comes with his own gluten free crackers.

54:15Even though I bought the gluten free crackers, just in case. And I always appreciate that. You know, that I'm always like, he's just always going to take care of himself. Like, he knows there's a cheese plate. He'll have gluten free crackers. He's going to bring him himself. Even though I've made accommodations because, again, this isn't inner circle friend. But I just think this diet and this allergy thing, if you're an adult, you have to just take care of yourself. Oh, yeah. And the top of the mountain and your and your kid. Because I have a picky eater kid. And we've been invited to so many dinners. I always bring food from my picky eater kid. Or I feed my kids before. I never expect to go to a Korean barbecue. And I'm like, do you have any chicken nuggets? People do that. And I'm like, I think someone in the freezer, uh, let me put them in my burger, beaten this children.

55:19I mean, my kid. Happy for them. Happy for them. Even my kids know this. He's like, oh, what, what are we going? Okay, I'll have a grilled cheese before I leave. Yes, thank you. And the final thing I want to say, and again, I'm not talking about inner circle. I'm saying two hours is when you start circling the exit. I don't think you need to stay. And you should stay more than two hours. Okay. I'm for me, I'm for me. I'm like an hour and 15. I'm starting to really read the room. I'm starting to clean up a little bit of my stuff. I'm starting to give my kids the eye of like, let's get your collect your sweatshirts and your needles and your squishies. It's time to go. And time and time again, I've, I especially when the kids were little, you know, every once in a while, I'd have people over. And I had one guest stay and I will never forget this.

56:21I said goodnight. I went to go bathe and read my kid a story and put my young child to bed. And when I came back downstairs, she was still there. Yeah. And that's the horror story. You were in danger. That whole time I'm so happy you're alive. You let the wrong win in. That behavior is, I mean, it's unhinged. That's crazy. I, I, this list is from personal experience. It's not, it's not things scenarios that I dreamt up. These are lived in and lived through. I still remember that. That's probably 12 years ago. And I think about that. It's a cautionary tale. Anyway, so that, that to me is, is just a social contract. Those are the things that have come to me in the last like,

57:23few months as I've done the little social interacting that I've done, things I've noticed and things that that I wanted to bring to you being the social butterfly that you are. I think this is a, this is a living breathing list that can be added to a moment. I would love to hear other people's social contracts. Well, look, and here's a time for a call to action. It's so, it's so smooth in that we want to know. We planned it. I'm not giving us too much credit. I'm not giving us credit. We like many things that fall and ask backwards. To this plea for you to go to add to cart, go to this episode's post. Hopefully I did it on time. And then say what you agree with, what you don't agree with, what you would add to this list. I want to know the add to the list. I also am curious about some of the horror stories. And horror, I say, capital H after you've put your two-year-old down

58:27and the guest is still at the table. That is capital H for. What would you have done? We would have talked to that person again. Yeah. And did you, Su-Jun? It was a very short, short time after that we exited that plan. Anyway, it was quicker than she exited your home then. I also make sure to go to add to cart.world and to your email to get updates from us as soon as we have any. Oh, I do want to stop you real quick, too, because circling back to add to cart pod, I want to give a shout out to our 10 diehards who let us know what their vachnas are. And Su-Jun has had a really hectic week. Promise you. If by the time I need this comes out,

59:28she's responded to each and every one of you guys. Now logging on. I did in the beginning, I always do. And then I've had a really crazy week. Okay, I can't wait to hear about the vachnas. Read one. Read one. Okay, okay. I want to read one right now. Okay, so we, so from last week's pod, we asked what is your vachna? My vachna is the on the lip cold sore. I always get them when I'm insanely stressed. And I already have an under the skin zit that is painful and throbbing. So then the cold sore is just pouring pain onto pain. Also, oh my god, number 10 here obsessed listening from day one. I love it. That's our, that these are our tried the die hards. The ones that just that have put their emails on addicard.word. That have created other accounts to populate our email lists. Once I had a root canal and he numbed me up so well,

1:00:28after I got home, I wanted a snack and ate a pair but didn't realize that I was also eating my lip. And that is her vachna. Yeah. Oh my god. And just like also, I love all these tips on how to get rid of canker sores, dip a q tip and pepto bismol. The second it aired and I still haven't responded to her. I, I, I am right now after we record. Lin Chen sent me a personal text and was like, okay, I had to pause. Let me tell you. Let me give you the canker sore routine. So guys, this is community. This is community. It's a basket hold on our crotch. You know, it's the warmest spot, the safest spot. And I just know that when I lean back, I'm gonna be held and we so appreciate that. So yes, we'd love to get your thoughts on social contracts and rules that you think should be added to this

1:01:31or expanded upon. Bye. Bye. Attecart is an aunties unlimited production. Executive producers are cool up the Lysok and Sujan Pak. Tony Williams is our engineer. The music is by Wasabi and produced by LA Mated and Oso Familiar with additional music by APM Music. Be sure to check out all the items mentioned today on our Instagram at AttecartPod. Follow Attecart wherever you get your podcasts.