Roblox isn’t just a game: The truth parents need to hear

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Hi and welcome back to the nurses' report on America Out Loud.

I'm your host, Ashley Caputo, registered nurse and functional medicine practitioner, owner of Rooted Wellness Functional Health.

But I'm also a mom, a mom of a five-year-old and a seven-year-old.

And when I talk about topics like we're going to talk about today, I'm not speaking from a distance, I'm right here in the middle of it with you.

So today we're talking about something that is in millions of homes right now, roadblocks.

Have you heard of it? Because before my kids brought it up, I had never heard of it.

It's a platform that looks harmless, it feels creative, feels like imagination at play.

But what most parents don't fully understand is that roadblocks is not just a game, and that misunderstanding is where risk begins.

Because underneath the bright colors, the playful characters, there is a level of access, interaction and exposure that many young children are just simply not equipped to handle.

This episode is not about fear, although this topic is terrifying.

But it's about awareness, because once you understand what actually is happening on platforms like roadblocks, how predators operate, how conversations evolve, and how kids are targeted, you will see it differently.

And what pushed me to really dig into this was learning that a young guy who went on roadblocks,

posing as a child to expose predators, and actually helped lead to arrests, and instead of being supported, being a hero, he was banned from the platform.

So we're going to talk about that, and we're going to talk about how this platform works, why kids are drawn to it, how predators use it, why parental controls are just not enough.

What's happening legally, how platforms like Discord tie into this, and most importantly, what you can do as a parent, because this is not just a tech issue.

This is a parenting issue, and our kids are depending on us to understand it.

And I am the first to admit, I am not savvy when it comes to video games.

I consider myself somewhat tech savvy, like I run an online business.

I'm here with you on this platform, but when it comes to video games, I am completely out of my element.

So I did have to dig in and do some research and try to teach myself, because this is something that's in my kids' faces every single day.

So let's start with what roadblocks actually is, because this is where parents kind of get a false sense of security.

I know I did. You know, when you hear the word game, you probably think of something structured.

I mean, to be honest, when I think of a video game, I think of going to GameStop, purchasing one of the games, putting it in the whatever system you're using, and you play.

And you pause the game if you're done and you go back later and pick up, you know, where you left off.

You know, I grew up playing Super Mario Brothers, stuff like that.

I know, I know video games have totally changed.

I never got into the Xbox games and call it duty and things like that. I don't know how to play them. I never did.

But I don't really understand what those games, or I never really understood how to play the games, right?

I would just stick with Mario Brothers. I think the farthest out I went was playing like Mario Kart, but the games are not like that.

Roadblocks is not like that.

It's not like the games we grew up with. It's a platform. So roadblocks isn't a game that you just play.

Roadblocks itself is just a platform.

And that means it functions more like a combination of social media and gaming.

So anyone can create an account.

Anyone can upload experiences.

And anyone can interact with other users.

So when your child logs on, they're not just playing a game.

They're not just playing Mario Brothers or Duck Hunt, like we used to.

They are entering a massive open environment filled with millions of user created worlds.

And some of those environments are completely harmless.

I've watched my kids play, you know, some of them are like obstacle courses that they run through.

There's bright colors, you know, it's fun. It's intriguing. It's engaging.

But there's some environments that are not so harmless.

And the problem is, is that you don't always know which one is which.

Maybe you read the description of the world that they're going to play in and it seems harmless.

Maybe they start playing it and it looks harmless.

But the problem is that there is stuff hidden in some of these worlds.

Things that you would never want your kids to see.

But it's also used as a grooming platform.

It's bringing children in and exposing them to predators.

Think about this. As of now, Roblox itself has around 150 million daily users worldwide.

And a large portion of those users are children under the age of 13, including a large portion of them under the age of nine.

So this is not like a teen platform. This is a young child platform.

And that's important. Because the younger the user, the less likely they are able to recognize risks.

They're not questioning content. They're not questioning the intent of other people on the platform.

And they don't understand manipulation.

And that's not a flaw. That's development, right? Like they shouldn't know these things.

They're learning these things. Kids naturally are trusting. They're curious. They want connection.

They want validation. And Roblox is designed to tap into that.

It's interactive. It's creative. It's constantly changing.

And kids, they build. They explore. They role play. They collect items.

They interact with others in real time.

And that's where it shifts.

Because it's not just about playing. It's about interacting.

And interaction is where vulnerability exists.

Now, I was very naive to Roblox.

And my kids saw one of their friends playing it. And they watched him play.

And then later they came back to me and they were like,

Mom, can we download this on our tablets?

I didn't really know much about Roblox.

So it felt kind of, I was skeptical, right?

Because I didn't understand it. I didn't understand the platform. I didn't know what it was.

But I thought, well, you know, my, my friends kid is playing it.

It's got to be okay.

So we downloaded it. And I did watch them play.

And it seems, you know, innocent. It seemed like a kid's game.

I didn't really know much about it. And I should have done more research before I even downloaded it.

And I think that's where we're parents, you know, we don't know.

And you make mistakes. And it's not intentional. It's not negligence.

It's just, you know, literally we live in a world now where we have to question everything.

And this seems innocent. It seems safe. And it seems like just a game.

Like I thought, I thought I could control if my kids played with other people live.

I thought they could just go in and play the game and not play live with other people.

And there's no way to control that. They have no choice but to play live with other people.

There are some parental controls, but they're pretty lacking.

And I don't really trust it because some of the content is listed as mild.

And when you look at it and when you watch it, there's still stuff in there.

You don't want your kids to see.

So let's, let's talk about something that really changed how I look at this.

So there was a YouTuber known as Schlepp. I think is how you say it.

It's like his online handle. But what he did was something.

I don't think most people would think to do. And I believe I could be wrong.

But I believe he was actually preyed upon.

And so he kind of made it a mission to go back and hunt down these predators.

So he created accounts posing as a minor.

And he went on to Roblox, not to play, but to expose predators.

And what he found was not rare.

He documented repeatedly interactions with individuals who were clearly attempting to build relationships

with what they believed were children.

These were not isolated events either.

This was a pattern and some of these cases were serious enough that they were reported to law enforcement and led to real arrests.

So that tells us something.

It tells us that this type of behavior is not just possible on the platform.

It's happening often enough to be found repeatedly.

But here's where things become concerning kind of from a different angle.

Instead of working with him or acknowledging the issue publicly, Roblox banned him.

I did not misspeak.

They did not ban the predators.

They banned the guy that was finding the predators on Roblox.

They called him a vigilante.

That he was.

They don't allow it.

He broke what community rules or whatever they call him for vigilante behavior.

You know, I understand platforms have policies.

But as a parent, it raises a very real question.

Why is the person exposing the problem being removed?

Well, the environment that allows the problem just continues as it is.

And that's where we have to kind of zoom out.

Because this isn't just about one person.

This is about how these platforms are built.

They are built for growth.

Engagement.

Time spent.

Time equals money.

And when you combine that with open access, user-generated content, and communication features,

I mean, it's it.

If the platforms for kids, why is their communication features?

I just, I wish that wasn't even there.

But they create an environment that is easily exploited.

Now, I don't know what the creators of Roblox were thinking.

Because if I was a creator and I came up with this idea of this platform,

one of my first thoughts would be, how do we keep this safe?

How do we regulate the content?

How do we patrol the content?

But it seems like those questions were never asked.

So now let's let's break this down how it actually happens.

Because this is the part every parent needs to understand.

This is not random.

This is a process.

Predators don't show up looking like adults.

They show up looking like kids.

They create avatars that match the environment.

They use language that feels familiar.

And then they go exactly where your kids are.

Games that are popular with younger children, role play environments,

social hangout spaces.

And it starts very simply.

You know, they just, they play together.

They interact.

They build trust.

And I want to take this outside of Roblox for just a second.

Because I have first hand experience with a teenager

that has just grown up in this environment, right?

Like grown up with games and social media and internet.

And you know, it's different when we grew up, I didn't have the internet

till I think sometime in high school.

I remember getting my first computer and I didn't really need to know what to do with it.

You know, it took forever to get on the internet.

And then it was kind of like, what do you do when you're on there?

Kids now, they don't think I don't know what to do on the internet.

Their whole lives are surrounded by the internet.

You know, they go to school, they're handed a computer or a tablet.

And their schoolwork, half of it, their homework is on the computer.

It's on the tablet, it's online.

So this is familiar to kids, right?

Chatting and a game, playing with others, all of this is familiar.

For me, it's not.

But we have to recognize that this is what our kids are used to.

So I knew a teenager that most of his friends were online.

And online through video games, through Snapchat,

his girlfriends were through Snapchat and online.

Most of his interaction with people was online, not face to face.

So this seems very normal to kids, right?

Like making friends online.

To me, I find it odd, right?

Like I don't know how to make friends with somebody just online.

It's not how I grew up.

So I want that face to face interaction.

But this is just kind of what our kids are used to now.

And so they become accustomed to chatting with people

and assume that these people are being honest, right?

But they assume if you tell me that you're a ten-year-old boy,

that you're a ten-year-old boy, but we know better.

We know that there's people out there that don't have good intentions

and will easily lie and manipulate children.

And so platforms like this can be very dangerous

because this is appealing to kids.

I mean, I know kids, teenagers,

that would absolutely prefer to communicate online,

to not have to see people face to face

and to make friends on the internet, not in public, right?

Like they just feel more comfortable that way.

And, you know, in a way society is kind of conforming to that

and encouraging that.

So it's not like we can make this go away,

but we really have to be aware of it.

Because I have heard kids talk about their friends,

like they've known them their whole lives.

And then when you really start to talk to them,

you find out, oh, you're talking about somebody

that you met through again.

You've never met this person.

You've never seen this person.

And you have no idea who they are.

But they feel like they know them.

So that's where this gets really, really dangerous, right?

Because these predators are going to go exactly where your kids are.

You know, maybe they just play together and interact.

They kind of build this trust.

They compliment your child.

They make them feel seen, included.

Maybe they tell them like, oh, you're my favorite person to play with.

And you're so good at this game.

And to a child, those things matter.

But then the questions might start.

Not inappropriate.

Just maybe some personal questions.

What's your name?

How old are you?

Do you play this every day?

What's your favorite game?

And slowly, that builds into something more consistent.

Now they're showing up regularly.

Now there's a familiar aspect to it.

And that familiarity creates trust.

Now your child trusts this person.

They see them as a friend.

They see them as someone probably their age.

But then the shift starts to come.

And they maybe they try to move the conversation into a private space.

A private server, a private chat, or just off the platform completely.

This is another scary thing is discord.

Discord is one of the most common next steps.

As a mom, like my kids will not have discord.

If I have anything to do with it, this is not something that they will ever have.

But it is fairly common for people to use.

Now once the conversation moves off roadblocks,

there's significantly less oversight.

There's not much oversight on roadblocks,

but it's a lot more visual.

And parents can see.

So there's less oversight.

And there things can escalate very quickly.

So remember, they've already kind of gained this trust and become friends with this person.

But now maybe some inappropriate topics start to pop up.

Request for pictures.

Offers of in-game currency in exchange for personal information.

And we have to remember that we're thinking of this as adults.

If I'm an adult and somebody starts doing this, that's a red flag.

And I'm going to cut it off.

Like I'm not falling for this.

But we have to remember these are children.

They do not think like adults.

And they might not see this as malicious or nefarious.

They see this as, well, maybe I'll get some roadblocks.

I think is what they're called.

You know, they're getting that in-game currency.

All I have to do is tell them my name.

Or all I have to do is send them a picture.

And eventually in some cases,

this leads to, well, of course more manipulation,

but also blackmail.

Because now they have pictures.

Now they have information.

You know, maybe they threaten to tell their mom.

If they don't do what they want them to do,

I'll tell your mom what's happening.

And for kids, they think, oh my gosh, if my mom finds out

or if my dad finds out, they're going to take my phone away.

Or they're going to take my computer away.

Or they're going to take my tablet away.

You know, and for a kid that's like detrimental,

like you, they can't see themselves living

without this phone or this platform or this tablet

or whatever it is.

So they feel trapped and they do whatever they're being asked to do.

And, you know, I think it's important to understand,

like this doesn't happen instantly, right?

Like this isn't like yesterday.

I started talking to this kid and today I'm asking him for pictures.

Like these people take time in grooming these children

and developing this relationship.

It happens gradually, which is why it's so easy for a child

and even a parent to miss this.

It's just easy to miss.

I mean, I don't think that you will ever talk to a parent

that said, oh yeah, you know, I saw this coming.

Or yeah, there were a lot of red flags.

I just ignored them.

No, like this stuff happens.

And the parents didn't see it coming.

The kids had no idea what they were getting into.

And then they get in over their heads.

They're scared.

They don't know who to tell.

They don't really even understand exactly what's happening.

And they might, even if they start to not like what's happening

or not like the questions,

they're still really unsure about the big picture,

about the intent, you know, what's going to happen.

And so they keep going back.

I mean, they're their kids, you know,

and this is what the predators feed off of.

They feed off of the kids not really understanding the situation

and knowing what to do.

And then knowing how to play on that fear

so they don't go and tell their parents.

So then the kids really, you know, try to keep this hidden.

And I think, you know, that's one thing that I kind of put my foot down

is, you know, when they're on YouTube or they're playing games,

they're going to be with us.

It's going to be on the TV.

It's going to be somewhere where I can see it.

You're not going to your bedroom, shutting the door,

playing things that I have no idea what's going on.

And I think every parent and every household

has to have different boundaries and rules.

You have to do what's best for your kid.

And it's not always going to be what your kid likes.

But, you know, this leads to danger.

So we are coming up on a break.

But when we get back, we're going to dive into more of what Roblox is

and some of the consequences that have happened from this game.

So stick with us.

We'll be right back.

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Comment this.

Welcome back to the nurses report on America Out Loud.

I'm your host, Ashley Caputo.

And before the break, we were talking about roadblocks.

This video game platform that has gotten a lot of attention lately.

And I think it's an important conversation to have,

so parents can understand what their kids are playing,

what their kids are getting into,

because it was real eye-opener for me,

the more I looked into what roadblocks is,

and how dangerous it can be.

When at the first glance, it looks like a kid's game.

You really wouldn't think that this could be something

that could lead your kid to danger.

So to jump back into it,

I think the part that's hardest to hear is,

because this doesn't always stay online,

there are documented cases of children being groomed

through platforms like roadblocks,

and then move to other apps where these situations escalate.

There are documented cases of coercion, exploitation, blackmail,

and there are cases where the emotional impact

has been severe enough that children have taken their own lives.

And I want to say this carefully, but clearly,

because these are not just stories.

These are families.

These are parents who trusted what looked safe.

Kids who thought they were talking to a friend,

and then found themselves in something

they just didn't understand,

and they didn't know how to get out of it.

Because, you know, children, like I was saying earlier,

children just don't process these situations

the way adults do, and we really have to take a step back

and remind ourselves that our kids are not adults, right?

Like they're not going to think about these situations

the way that we do.

And they process these situations through emotion,

through fear, confusion, through shame,

and once shame enters the picture,

many kids don't tell anyone.

I would love to think that if something like this

was happening to my kids, that my kids would run to me

and tell me immediately, and maybe they would.

But you can't depend on that, right?

Because these kids get scared.

They don't really know what they're involved in,

and then they get scared, they're ashamed.

Maybe they do start to realize that something wrong is going on,

but now they're really scared to tell mom or dad

or to tell another adult, and so they hide it,

and they maybe try to just get out of the situation,

but they don't really know how.

And, you know, unfortunately,

roadblocks is often just kind of the starting point,

and so two things with roadblocks that I really don't like, right?

One is the content that they might see.

So if you guys are not aware,

and I think I kind of explained this earlier, right?

If roadblocks is a platform, and then people come on

and they create content, they create these worlds,

and they could be all sorts of different things.

My kids favorite is the obstacle courses,

and they just run through these weird obstacle courses,

and if they get through it, they move to the next level,

and then there's always something new happening,

and there's other people in their plane

and running through the obstacle courses with them,

and I don't know, you know, they have fun with it.

But there are other worlds that maybe look innocent,

but they can come across things that you do not want your kids seen.

I've never seen this,

but I have read that there were worlds

that recreated the Charlie Kirk assassination,

and you got to go and be the shooter.

I mean, it's sick, right?

And it's like nobody's regulating this.

You just get to create whatever kind of world that you want.

So do you want your kids just kind of coming across that?

Or they're in this obstacle course or something,

and it seems innocent, it seems fine,

and then they turn a corner,

and there's something inappropriate going on

that the content creator put in there.

And, you know, so there's that aspect of it.

Maybe there's not like a predator trying to get your kid,

but, you know, your kid can see some things

that you don't want them to see on this platform,

and it could be really sick.

And I thought I could control that more than I really can.

You know, my kids can only access mild content,

but their idea of mild is definitely not my idea of mild,

because some of the stuff that I still see on there

is not things that I want them to see, so we shut it down.

You know, my kids play roblox on a TV,

so we're watching what they're doing, what they're seeing,

but as soon as they see it, like it's too late,

you didn't know that was coming.

These aren't things like, you know, Mario,

that we used to play Super Mario Brothers,

where, you know, you might have played the whole game

and beat the game so you know what's coming.

You know what to expect.

This is something it changes all the time, right?

And who's regulating these creators?

So there's that aspect.

And then the second aspect of roblox that I absolutely hate

is the chat.

I wish it wasn't even there.

I wish, you know, they're kids.

They don't need to be chatting with each other,

but that's just my opinion.

And my kids are seven and five,

so they're not really chatting with anybody.

My five-year-old doesn't even know how to chat with somebody, right?

So, you know, depending on where your kids are,

a seven-year-old could probably chat with people.

And definitely if they're older,

and this is where predators can come in

and start grooming your children and talking to them,

and you know, that's when it can get really dangerous

and escalate pretty quickly.

So, like I'm saying, you know, roblox is just kind of

the starting point for a lot of this.

The real danger can definitely escalate

once you're off the platform.

Discord is one of the most common places that this happens.

It's designed for private communication,

private servers,

private messages,

minimal parental oversight.

And once a child is there,

the whole dynamic changes.

There's less visibility,

less filtering,

and that's when the transition off platform

is such a critical moment,

because this is intentional.

It's like that next step that the predator is taking.

So, let's talk about parental controls

and why they're just not enough.

And yes, you know, they do have a place,

but they are not enough,

because grooming doesn't start with obvious red flags.

Right? Like, there's no parental control

to keep your kids playing with other kids.

And filters don't catch just normal conversation

when they're building this relationship.

Kids can also bypass settings,

learn from other kids,

or simply just not understand what's happening.

So controls without involvement

are not protection.

So one, and y'all,

I am not a perfect mom,

and I am kind of learning about all this as I go,

because I didn't know what roadblocks was.

I had never heard of Discord

until I think my brother mentioned it a year or so ago,

and I had to Google what it was.

I didn't know what Discord was,

but apparently a lot of younger people use it.

And I mean, I'm not old,

but not, you know, I'm not in my 20s and stuff anymore.

So apparently it's pretty common,

so you guys might be aware of it,

but I wasn't.

And so these parental controls just,

like they don't catch a lot of this stuff.

And then if you move to another platform,

well, you're not catching that either.

I know with one thing that I get frustrated with

is YouTube has terrible parental controls.

And my kids love YouTube,

because they love to watch these guys go out and go fishing,

catch like all these crazy fish.

They love to watch people handle snakes

and watch different snake videos and things like that.

That's like 98% of the content they watch.

But they do come across other content, right?

Like you see the videos suggested,

and sometimes the video suggested,

like I don't know how that got connected, right?

And so all they have to do is click on it.

And then the next thing you know,

they're going down a whole different road of content.

And YouTube just does not have good parental controls.

It's really hard for me to control what they're watching,

what they're seeing.

So parental controls in general across all the platforms,

I think are really, really lacking

and they could really do a better job.

I don't know how to make it better,

but there is some smart person out there

that could definitely do that.

And I think with roadblocks,

there's just too much freedom.

I don't think anybody and everybody

should just be able to create content

that anybody has access to.

And you know, our kids are smart, right?

So they do learn how to bypass settings.

They do learn how to get around things.

And so don't put that past them either.

They're smart kids.

And they might not know exactly what they're getting themselves into.

Because they're kids, you know,

and that they're going to cross that line.

They're going to tow the line.

And eventually they're going to cross it.

So, you know, setting boundaries is so important.

Using the parental controls is so important.

But it's just not enough.

You really have to see what they're doing.

Don't let them be alone in their room

with playing video games and being online.

And, you know, there,

there should be like an open-door policy, right?

Like your kids shouldn't just be in there.

And at night, take the devices away.

They don't need to text anybody at night.

They don't need their phone,

like right there next to them at night.

I don't know.

I mean, every, every, every parent's different

and you set your own rules.

But like, that's kind of like my way of thinking.

I'm like, why do you,

you don't need this for the middle of the night, right?

But then I do think, what if there's an emergency?

But, you know, there's just,

there's got to be strict boundaries

and it is so hard because there's so much access, right?

Like they have their phone.

They have their tablet.

They have their Xbox or PlayStation on the TV.

Maybe they have a watch.

You know, there's just,

there's access everywhere.

So, what can you do with all of this, right?

Because it just,

it sounds like you want to take your kid,

live out in the middle of nowhere,

and get rid of all the devices

and shut down the internet.

But we all know that that's not really feasible

in today's world.

You know, I,

if you all listened to my episode last week

with Dr. Hillary Webb,

we were talking about just,

you know, the impact of kids holding their phones,

holding their tablet and how that affects,

you know, their posture,

their spine, their overall health.

And one thing she said that,

that really kind of stuck with me was,

we have to learn to live with this stuff.

You can't just try to live without it

because it's not going anywhere.

And it's only going to get worse.

So we really have to be,

um,

be able to figure out ways to protect our children

but still allow them,

um, to have access to devices

and to the internet,

but still be safe.

So what do we do?

What do we do with all of this stuff?

Well, first of all,

you have to stay involved.

You know, know what they're doing.

Know what they're on.

Know what they're watching.

Ask questions.

Don't just assume.

Ask them questions.

You can create open conversations

where your child feels safe to tell you anything.

You know, you set boundaries around usage,

communication, and access.

And most importantly,

you trust your instinct.

If it doesn't feel right,

it's probably not.

You know,

I think,

do I want to give my kids some independence?

Do I want to have trust in them?

Do I want to show them that I trust them?

Absolutely.

You know, it's so important that they,

they want to know that you trust them

to make good decisions,

even though we know that they are not always

going to make good decisions.

The kids want to feel that.

They want to feel validated.

They want to feel trusted.

And they want to feel some independence.

So I'm not saying completely take all of this away

and just make them feel like they have no control

because that's going to get you into trouble too.

But we have to stay involved.

And I think talking to them

and asking them questions can be a really good way to start.

You know, like, what game are you playing?

Are you chatting with anybody?

Who is that?

Is that somebody that you know,

in real life or just on the internet?

Did you meet them through the game

or is that one of your friends?

You know, has anybody ever asked you

to get off of the platform,

you know, to get out of roadblocks

and chat with them anywhere else?

Has anybody ever asked you to send them pictures?

I think, you know, it might sound like,

especially if you're talking to a teenager

or they're probably not going to want to tell you these things.

But if you start young

and you let them know that this is a part

of allowing you to play on this platform,

we're going to have these conversations

and just kind of setting that stage, right?

Because at the end of the day,

honestly, this really isn't just about roadblocks.

It's about access.

It's about exposure.

It's about whether a young child

is ready to navigate environments

that involve real people,

real conversations,

and real risks.

And most of the time,

they're not.

And it's not their fault.

You know, that's where we step in.

Because when I look at my kids,

I don't see risk.

I see trust.

And that trust means they're relying on me

to see what they can't.

And that's what this comes down to.

Not fear, not control,

but protection.

And that's what we're here to do.

We're here to protect them

and keep them safe.

And until they can learn how to navigate

these things themselves

and recognize the red flags.

Because it's not something

that they're just going to naturally know how to do, right?

And if we start young,

I think this is important.

Because this is going to extend farther

than just online.

If we start teaching them

to recognize signs of manipulation,

signs of maybe I shouldn't trust this person,

if we start teaching them that early,

that is a skill that they're going to use online,

but also use in real life, right?

Like they're going to take that out into the real world

and realize when someone's trying to take advantage of them,

someone's trying to manipulate them.

These are things that the kids develop.

You know, I mean, as an adult,

I didn't just know these things, right?

These were things that I learned over time

and unfortunately,

sometimes you learn the hard way

because you get taken advantage of.

You get manipulated.

You get lied to.

And from those experiences,

you learn later on not to trust those things.

But when we're talking about kids

on these online platforms,

we really have to be cautious

because this isn't something

that we can just allow them to learn on their own

and have a bad experience

and be like, oh, I won't do that again.

Because like we talked about earlier,

like experiences on these platforms

have led to blackmail,

have led to suicide,

have led to life-long trauma

from the abuse that they've experienced on roadblocks

and on Discord.

And that's terrifying

because that's not anything that we want our kids

to have to go through an experience.

I don't want to have to teach my kid

how to deal with trauma

because they got abused on a platform like this.

I want them to be able to recognize it beforehand

and to have those skills.

But my kids are five and seven.

They're not ready for that.

So right now, it's my job.

It's my job to step in.

So before we close this out,

I want to give you something practical, right?

Not overwhelming, not complicated,

just something you can do tonight.

Sit down with your kid.

Not in a scary way,

not like they're in trouble,

just casually.

And ask them,

who do you usually play with?

Are they kids you know in real life

or just from the game?

And listen.

You don't have to jump in.

You don't have to correct.

You don't have to lecture.

Because then they won't.

They won't talk to you again.

Your job is to listen.

Because what you're doing in that moment

is opening a door.

And if that door is open early,

it stays open later.

And that's what protects them.

So let's talk about something real

because I know some of you are already thinking this, right?

What if my child gets upset?

What if they say I'm being unfair?

What if they don't understand why I'm setting limits?

And let me tell you, my five-year-old

he is not easy to deal with.

And so if I upset him,

if I take something away,

if I tell him he can't do something,

there is an all-out battle.

And I mean, get your battle gear

because it's going down.

He will fight and fight tooth and nail

and throw a fit and say,

mean things.

And I mean, it's,

y'all, sometimes I have to pick and choose my battles

and I'm like, do I want to go down that road?

Is it worth it?

But when it comes to something like this,

it comes to something like row blocks in your safety.

Yeah, that's a battle.

I am willing to have with you.

So the kids probably are going to push back, right?

Like they're not, especially if they're older.

You know, this isn't something that you started

when they're younger.

I think it's easier if this is just kind of how

you get it started from the get-go.

But we're all human

and make mistakes.

And to be honest,

all of this, you know,

is developing and changing so much,

it's really hard to know exactly how to handle it.

So maybe your kids are older and they're teenagers

and I mean, getting them to talk is like pulling teeth anyway.

So they're not going to want to do this.

But that's okay.

Because your job

is not to be understood in every moment.

Your job is to protect.

And sometimes protection doesn't feel good to them

in the moment,

but that doesn't make it wrong.

And I think as parents right now,

we do feel a lot of pressure

to be liked,

to be understood,

to not upset our kids.

But safety has to come before comfort

every single time.

You know, this is the long game.

This is not about one app,

one rule, one decision.

This is about the kind of environment

you're creating for your child.

So are you creating open communication?

Are you creating trust?

Awareness?

Or are we unintentionally creating

unmonitor to access silent spaces?

Opportunities for things to happen without us knowing?

And I say that with no judgment at all.

Because we are all figuring this out in real time.

Technology has moved faster than parenting guidance, right?

Like I wish somebody had done this episode,

like, you know, last year,

which I mean, maybe they did and I didn't hear it, right?

Because if I could have just never downloaded roadblocks,

I would have been,

I think that would have been the best move.

But at the same time,

it's everywhere.

You know, they see other kids playing it.

So on one hand, I'm glad we,

I'm glad they have it.

And we can know what it is

and know how to protect them

and know how to set boundaries.

You know, I mean, we're all just trying to keep up.

You know, we're trying to keep up

with what our kids are being exposed to

because it's just constantly changing.

And let me say this clearly,

like, you will never regret

being more involved with your children.

You will never regret asking more questions.

You will never regret saying not yet.

But there are parents

who wish they had looked maybe a little closer,

asked a few more questions,

waited a little longer,

and that's the difference.

After this episode,

you're going to see things differently.

You're going to hear your child playing

and you might listen a little closer.

You might ask one more question.

You might pause before handing over the device.

And that's not fear.

That's awareness.

And awareness is what changes outcomes.

And I'll just leave you with this.

When my kids are sitting on the couch,

laughing, playing,

completely in their own little world,

there's a part of me that wants to just let that be,

because it looks innocent.

And it is.

But I also know that not everything they encounter

in that space is.

And so I stay close.

I listen.

I ask.

I pay attention.

Not because I'm afraid of everything,

but because I understand enough to know

they need me to.

And that's what this comes down to.

Not controlling their world,

but protecting them.

Well, they're still learning how to navigate it.

This is not just a game.

And once you understand that,

you don't look at it the same.

If this episode made you pause,

share it with another parent,

because there are a lot of families

who have no idea this is happening.

Thank you so much for being here

and thank you all for listening all the way through.

And as always, take care of those little ones,

ask questions, be engaged.

Again, I'm your host, Ashley Caputo.

Thank you so much for listening to The Nurse's Report.

Stay safe, y'all.

God bless.

It's time and this is why.