Rocky Fortune: Insurance Fraud 10/13/1953

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NBC presents Frank Sinatra, starring as that footloose and frequently unemployed young gentleman, Rocky Fortune.

Hi, I don't know about you, but I'm the kind of guy who can't stay put. I get restless.

Give me a nice soft job of bucking my pocket in the meal ticket. I want to get you 10 hour quit the job, lose the buck on the GGs and exchange the meal ticket for a train ticket.

You take last week, for instance. The employment agency seems to be down at Houston Street for a job as a chauffeur.

Hey, Mack, this 159 Houston, and what do you want? Somebody wants to hire a chauffeur. A chauffeur?

I made a joke. You take a look around this neighborhood, mister. Who do you think got money for a chauffeur? Not even for food to get money.

Look, all I know is the agency got a call for a chauffeur. Five foot nine, thin, chauffeur's license must be able to wear pre-cut uniform.

159 Houston, six floor. This is 159 Houston. My name is Dick Kohnick, I'm the janitor. You take a look how many floors we got, eh?

Maybe they meant fifth floor. I better go up. Go ahead. Let me know if you get the job, eh?

There's no look like chauffeur land to me, but I figure I already blew a subway token to get here, so I leg it up for flights of stairs left over from the Charles Adams cartoon.

As I am rounding the turn of flight number five, a funny-looking little guy steps out of the shadows.

Hey, buddy. Yeah? Then you got changed for a buck. Sure. Here. Thanks.

Hey, eh? Where's the clam? Here. Oh.

I've been rolled before, but this guy works on my stuff like he's a Sherman tank in the Aberdeen proving grounds.

When I come to, I'm in a white room, but I am real work on the windows. It's morning, which means I made an evening of it.

Alongside my bed stands a gorilla in a white coat. I figure this place for a pad of Bellevue. I am mistaken.

Okay, take it easy, Steve. Oh. How do you feel this morning? You've had a couple of bad nights, Steve. A couple. What day is this? Tuesday.

Holy smokes. I've been out since Saturday. Last week you were pretty good. Only a couple of lapses.

Did you say last week? That's right, Steve. The name is Rocky. Rocky Fortune. You're not going to start that again, are you Steve?

Start what? That Rocky Fortune bit. Dr. Harris wouldn't like it. Listen. Oh, what a hangover. Okay, get easy. Look, where am I, buster?

Mount Kenzie rest home. Mount Kenzie. Is that a Bronx? It's near Denver. Denver. Denver, New York. Denver, Colorado. Okay, buddy, if the joke's over, I'll take my clothes and get out of here.

Joke, Steve. Joke, Jake. Give me the clothes. I'm afraid I can't do that. Not without Dr. Harris's order.

Will you tell a good doctor that Rocky Fortune wants to have a word with him?

Now, if you're going to insist on that, Steve, I'm afraid we'll have to try the treatment again.

What treatment? Come along. Take the hands off, buster. You're etching the epidermis.

You coming along? Not if I can help it. Okay.

Your hands are a big guy in a judo department besides which they got me drugged like a hypo-country act with a third-degree hangnail.

Drag me into a white tire room and start to massage my head with a fist like a sledgehammer. Only this bum's got a little rink.

First, he puts a pale on my head and then he hits the pale. After 20 minutes of this, I begin to feel like the main bell on St. Mary's Christmas morning.

Just when I think I can't take it anymore, a gray-head guy with a scarred face ambles in.

All right, you're ahead. All right. That's enough. Take the pale off his head.

Oh, I do feel, Stephen. Oh, just dandy. Your hand is so impulsive.

Repulsive. Would you like a cigarette? Yeah. How about getting me out of this polo coat? Yeah, I see the moment.

First, I want to see if you've come to your senses. Look, would you mind telling me what this is all about?

One minute I'm being rolled in a hallway in New York City, and the next minute I wake up in Denver, Colorado.

Stephen, you've been here at Mount Kenzie for eight years. My name is Rocky. Born, Rocco, for Chinato.

Your name is Stephen Krandel III. Eight years ago, you were thrown from a polo pony and sustained a head injury. You suffered from delusions.

You've been under treatment here. Come on, Doc. What's the ransom? Ransom. How much do I have to raise to get out of here?

You see, Johan? He's still very sick. Poor fella. Yes. I'm afraid we'll just have to continue the treatment. All right, Johan, put the pale on his head.

Now, once again, what's your name? Rocky. And if you don't like it, you can... All right, Johan. Now we'll try it once more.

Your name? Go to your owner. Johan. Name? That's enough, Johan. Hey, well, young man. Your name?

Stephen. Stephen, what, please? Stephen Krandel III. Your age? 32. How long have you been here? Eight years.

Why did you come here? Polo accident. Good, good. And now, once again, your name? Krandel. Stephen. Krandel.

By the time Johan and the phony doctor decided to call at the night, they almost had me convinced I was Stephen Krandel. Pardon me. The third. They don't me up again for the night.

Next morning, we cover the course again. Good morning, Stephen. You sat well. I had a funny dream.

So, I dreamed I was a guy named Rocky Fortune. I dreamed I went to apply for a job as a chauffeur in New York City and somebody sat me. Pretty funny, huh?

But you understand it was only a dream. Oh, sure. I'm happy to hear that. You see, today we have a surprise for you. Can you guess? I get a new pale. No jokes? No jokes.

Check. What's the surprise? You're going home. I thought you said no jokes. Well, this isn't a joke, Stephen. I feel you're ready to leave at last. We're going to let you go home on trial, of course.

Now, at the first sign of your delusion that you are someone other than Stephen Krandel, I'm afraid you'll have to return. When do I fly? Tomorrow morning. Your Hon will accompany you.

I get another shot of essence of vampire and wake up next morning feeling as strong as a mouse. Before I know what happens, they hustle me into a black doos and bergen drive to a Denver.

About two miles out of time, we cut up a winding private road and stop in front of a 28-room bungalow. The dock and your hand walk me to the door close enough so I can feel the muzzle of your hands 45 caressing my spine.

The door is opened by a medium-sized brother right out of Dickens with side whiskers and all. Yes, gentlemen. Hello, deems. Why? If it's Dr. Harris and Mr. Stephen, we weren't expecting you so early. Mr. Stephen, how are you? Speak up, Steve.

Oh, fine, deems you all, man. Just peachy. Come in, sir. Come in. Welcome home. Thanks. Have a seat, Mr. Stephen. I'll inform Miss Laurie or home.

I love myself into a chunk of chippin' down and wait. My headaches and everything looks like a 3D movie without glasses. After a couple of minutes through the blur, I see a van come floating down a staircase. Even in my weak condition, I can appreciate that she's got more curves than the Jersey turnpike. She takes one look and comes on like gangbusters.

Steve, darling. Darling, darling.

Sis, this is your wife, Steve. He's still a bit confused, Laura. I understand, Dr. Oh, it's good to have your home, Steve. Kiss me again, darling.

You know, son, baby. It's good to be home.

We're going to a clinch again, and I am just beginning to enjoy my new identity when Deemsy clears his adenoids and announces.

Excuse me, Miss Laurie.

Judge Harley is calling.

The judge here? Well, Dr. Harris, is it all right?

Judge Harley is an old friend of the family, isn't he?

Yes, he's known Stephen since he was a boy.

Well, I think it'll be all right. Just behave yourself, Stephen. Oh, sure.

Very well, Deems. Show him in.

Yes, ma'am.

Remember, Stephen. How can I forget?

This way, your honor.

Laura. Well, well, well, and Stephen.

I heard you were coming home, but I didn't expect I'd actually find you here. How are you, my boy?

Great, great. Just let me look at you.

Oh, he's changed Laura. Then, I'll do it more.

Well, I expect eight years in a way it can change a man.

Even eight hours can do it. Very thin indeed.

Do I hate to see a thin man or a woman?

This is Dr. Harris from the rest room, and his assistant, Mr. Fiddler.

Judge Harley, gentlemen.

I won't intrude. I just dropped by to see how you were progressing with your personal bankruptcy.

My attorney will file in a week or so, Judge.

Yes, well, it mustn't delay too long, you know.

It's a friend I'll hold back the flood as long as I can, but creditors will be creditors.

Yes. Well, I'll be running along, Stephen.

It's been wonderful to see you back in the bosom of your family.

Are you fattening up now, Laura?

I hate to see a thin man or a woman today.

I give the judge a couple of seconds, the leg down on his black limousine,

which I can see through the French window.

I toss a haymaker at Joe Hanne and pull a nest of Williams through the casement.

I land in a Bramble patch, Natch.

Just as the judge gets to his car.

Judge, Judge Harley, hold it, hold it.

Stephen, what is it? Get in the car, I can't talk now.

Come on, let's get going.

Cut, but Stephen, I...

Look, I'm not Stephen. My name is Rocky Fortune.

This whole thing's a big hoax and I'll step on it before they get here.

Of course, Stephen.

Rocky.

Strange it. Don't start.

The ignition's not on.

Okay, hold it, don't try to get away, Steve.

Fat chance.

You okay, Judge?

What happened?

Steve here tried to do away with himself.

Right out of the window, a luckier was the first floor.

What was he telling me about being Rocky something or other?

Or he's Rocky, all right?

Judge, listen, call the griddley employment agency in New York with Eve.

You know what, I got in my pocket.

Now be a good boy and I'll give you some candy.

Okay, man, you win.

This time, sorry to a troubled Judge.

Come on, Steve.

Glad it was a service.

Take good care of Steve now.

Don't worry about that, Judge.

It's thin.

Very thin.

Your hand lugs me back into the house like a piece of stale mackerel.

And the good doctor immediately slips me a needle full of wink and blink and a nod.

There we are.

The poor darling, he's all scratched up.

Let me take him up to our room.

Yeah.

Maja, you see how unstable he is?

I'm afraid he'd better be in a separate room.

Your hand will stay with him.

But we haven't seen each other for eight years.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, Laura.

As his physician.

I know more physician than I am, Steve Crandal.

Maybe that's trying to put one over on you.

I don't know why I'm on.

Yes, Dr.

Your hand puts the muscle on me and I'm locked into the guest room on the second floor.

By the time we reach the door, my head feels like a steward.

I'm going to have a drink.

I'm going to have a drink.

I'm going to have a drink.

I'm going to have a drink.

I'm going to have a drink.

I'm going to have a drink.

By the time we reach the door, my head feels like a steam room at an all-night Turkish bath.

I get my ear on a pillow and pass out.

Rocky.

Hmm?

It's me.

Laura.

Hmm.

I've been waiting for you.

I've arrived.

Kiss me, Rocky.

Why not?

Say.

That's nice perfume.

I've been waiting for you.

I've arrived.

Kiss me, Rocky.

Why not?

Say.

That's nice perfume.

Say.

That's nice perfume.

I'm glad you like it.

Makes me sleepy.

Sleep.

Smells like...

Like...

Smells like marsh gas.

Yes.

Gotta...

Gotta wake up.

Gotta open the window.

Come on, Rocky.

Come on, boy.

That's a boy, Crawl.

Crawl, boy.

That's it.

Now that you're chair.

Window.

Come on, boy.

Steve, Steve, what is it?

I was in my room and I heard a crash.

Nothing much, baby.

Let me get some air.

You're sick.

And healthy.

Turn off that gas heater, will you?

Where's Joe Han?

He's downstairs with Dr. Harris.

Steve, what happened?

Your friend, Joe Han, tried to fit me for a casket.

That's all.

Steve.

I am not Steve.

Let's get it straight, honey.

Before muscles gets back.

My name is Rocky Fortune.

I'm a ringer.

The doc and Joe Han are trying to pass me off as your husband.

You ought to know better.

I...

I do.

It's a nice time to say so.

I didn't dare.

They threatened to murder me.

Okay.

Let's have it.

My husband committed suicide in their sanatorium some months ago.

He carried very heavy life insurance.

Naturally, we couldn't collect on a suicide.

Joe Han and the doctor decided that they wouldn't report the death.

They got you to take Steve's place.

I begin to get it.

I have an accident.

You collect double indemnity and I pry you loose from the money.

They forced me into it.

We've got to get out of here, baby.

But they'll kill us.

Now, if they want me to look like an accident, they won't.

I'm worth a lot of loot, kid.

What?

How can we do it?

Is there anybody in the house you can trust?

Deans.

Fine.

Get to them.

Tell them to have a car ready in front of the house in exactly five minutes.

Where's Joe Han and the doc?

Downstairs.

Probably giving me plenty of time to soak up the eater.

Okay.

Look.

Go down.

Tell them I'm lying here dead.

When they come up, you get out to the car.

Got it?

Yes.

Wish me luck.

Good luck, Steve.

Rocky.

As soon as Laura leaves, I fix up a dummy out of pillows and stuff it in the bed.

And I slip out of the room and hide in an alcohol about ten feet away.

I wait.

A minute later, the doc in your hand comes stumbling up the stairs like a thundering her.

I let her rush into the room, take two giant steps and lock the door behind her.

Open that door.

Open that door.

Open that door.

I can't hear you, uncle.

Steve, open the door.

Tempered, tempered.

Open the door.

So long, gentlemen.

Don't think it has a minute pleasure because it hasn't.

I am down to steps like a grasshopper in a granary.

And on my way out when I see the telephone and get a sudden inspiration.

Operator?

Operator, I want the municipal courthouse.

Judge Harley, it's an emergency.

I'll connect you with information.

I said emergency, baby.

If it's an emergency, baby, I'll give you the hospital.

I'll settle for information.

Make it fast.

Upstairs, I can hear your hand in the doctor making headway with the door.

And I don't have much time to waste an explanation.

I need something little like the judge right off his bench.

I'd bring him out here in a hurry.

Hello?

Judge Harley?

Yes?

This is Deem's, the clandle butler.

Oh, what is it, Deem?

Master Stevens has just murdered the entire family, sir.

He's kidnapped me.

What?

What is this?

What's that banging noise?

It's a dynamite, sir.

He's blowing up the house, room by room.

I think you'd better get out here, sir.

Here they come.

Beams.

Bye.

I figure this ought to bring him out on the double,

so I write a message on the mirror with Laura's lipstick

and leap out to the car once you're up ahead of the house.

Are you all right, bro?

Fine.

What took so long?

I had to call my bookmaker when she were a bet.

What about the darken and your heart?

On the inside, looking out.

Head to the local constabulary, Deem's the old sock.

Yes, sir.

I spend the next few minutes gazing finally

and the Laura crannles laven the eyes and she gazes back.

I can see the fine blue blood surts through her cheeks.

And on her, a blue surge looks pretty good.

I'm ready to surrender to the beast of me

when Deem'sy makes a screaming turn off the main highway

and pulls the restop 10 feet from the edge of a cliff.

Hey, what gives?

There's been a car following us, sir.

I didn't see any car.

If I may say so, sir, you wouldn't think much attention.

All right, all right. Let's get going.

I'm afraid not, sir.

Listen, egghead. I said, let's get...

You were saying...

Put down the gun, Deem'sy.

I'll give the orders, Mr. Fortune.

Get out.

Wait a minute. What is this?

Just step over to the edge of the cliff if you please.

What if I don't please?

You take on the weight, all of a sudden.

He means it, Rocky.

Okay.

When have I asked what happens next?

Are my being my next Mr. Fortune?

You accidentally fall off the cliff.

The car follows you.

Excellent. Double indemnity.

Exactly.

Now, turn around.

What makes you think they're going to believe it?

You're suicidal.

Even Judge Harley saw you go through a window.

Very neat.

Turn around. We have much time.

Okay, okay.

Laura, push him over.

I...

Come on. This is no time to lose your nerves.

Steve, I...

Push him.

All right.

Take the gun.

I'll do it myself.

I hear a car.

Stop worrying.

All right, Mr. Fortune.

That first step looks like a Lulu.

Get going.

Wait.

Wait and listen.

The police car.

Come on.

Okay, hold it.

Hold it or I shoot.

Steve, take my gun from the cliff.

Oh.

Oh, no.

Rapper.

I've got it.

Let me go. Let me go.

Take it easy, baby.

You're all right, Mr. Fortune.

I'll let you know later right now I'm a little numb.

We pick up the car and then lost it again.

What convinced you I was telling the truth when I called?

I know you weren't Steven candle the first time I laid eyes on you.

I also know I couldn't do anything about it at the time.

When you phoned me before you left the house a few minutes ago,

I'd already checked the employment agency in New York City.

You're lucky we picked up the car.

What about the guy who fell off the cliff, Judge?

Is he dead, Sergeant?

I didn't have a chance.

Who is he?

As far as I know, he's the candle butler.

You got it wrong, Judge.

You know him?

I think if you take off those phony side whiskers,

you'll find out he's the guy I was supposed to impersonate.

Steve Krandel.

What?

Plus, I'm here to call him Steve just before he took the Brody.

Laura, is it Steven?

Yes.

Why did you do this?

We had no money when Steve left the institution.

We cooked up this scheme with a dog and Johan the cash in on his own insurance.

Next time I answer an ad for a chauffeur,

remind me to make sure they want a live chauffeur, not a corpse.

Tonight NBC Radio has presented transcribed Frank Sinatra,

as that footloose and fancy free young man known as Rocky Fortune.

Others in the cast included Frances Uri, Maurice Hart, Jack Mayther,

Herb Ellis, Stanley Fraser, Lynn Allen, and Stephen Chase.

Andrew C. Love directed Eddie King speaking.

Now to tell you about next week's adventure,

here's Frank Sinatra as Rocky Fortune.

So that's how I'll come back on unemployment insurance again.

Not for long, though.

Next week I'll tell you about the next job I had.

It's doing on a big luxury line at a commuter.

I figured I'd like to see the ocean.

A couple of guys were trying to help me, too.

Only they wanted me to see it the hard way, from the bottom.

Next week then, tune in again,

when Frank Sinatra returns as Rocky Fortune.

We join American Business and Industry

in saluting the National Safety Council,

and the thousands of safety-minded men and women who are this week

attending the 41st Annual Safety Council Congress

and Exposition in Chicago.

With the cooperation of Business and Industry,

the National Safety Council is making life in America safer for everyone.

Enjoy Fiber McGee and Molly tonight on the NBC Radio Network.