Ryan Gosling | Trump Says He’ll “Take” Cuba, Rand Paul Rips DHS Pick Mullin, Gabbard Grilled on Iran: A Closer Look

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From 30 Rockefeller Plaza in New York City,

please enjoy this podcast edition of Late Night

with Seth Myers.

On today's show, Seth Ketsworth actor Ryan Gosling.

But first, a closer look.

Two of Donald Trump's appointees

testified before Congress today

one of them defended the Iran War

after previously opposing it

and the other defended dueling.

Also, Trump wants to do regime change in Cuba

for more and this is time for a closer look.

As we all know, Trump promised to end foreign wars.

But more than that, he promised that the U.S.

would stop getting involved in other countries' business.

American forces cannot be the policeman for the entire world.

We're all over the world.

And a lot of times, we're not even appreciated.

The United States cannot afford

to be the policeman of the world anymore, folks.

We have to rebuild our own country.

We are losing billions and billions of dollars.

We cannot be the policeman of the world.

Our country has never been in more danger

of World War III than it is right now.

And we don't want to be the world's policeman.

You know, based on how it's gone over the years,

I think the world is probably okay with that, you know?

People like the police the most

when they arrive after you call them for help.

In recent years, we've been showing up uninvited,

under-prepared, like that border patrol agent,

a Minnesota who slipped and fell on his ass.

That's us when we meddle in another country's affairs.

We come in hot, fall on our asses,

and run away with our tails tucked between our legs

while everyone last set us.

But while we're running away, we act all tough,

like we meant to do that.

Like our captain said, Johnson,

you go in first, confirm that ice is slippery.

So you heard Trump, we don't want to be the world's police,

but when Trump decided he actually really likes blowing things up,

Maga turned on a dime.

I'm not against America being the policeman of the world,

but certainly the policeman of the hemisphere, I'm for it.

We live in a world, in the real world, Jake,

that is governed by strength,

that is governed by force, that is governed by power.

Every once in a while, we got to send a bunch of commandos

to kick in your door and drag you into a helicopter

in the middle of the night in handcuffs.

We are the dominant predator,

a quite frankly, force in the western hemisphere.

What rules the world and has ruled humanity

is the law of the jungle.

We rule the jungle.

We are the lion.

Got it, they don't want to be the police,

they want to be lions,

so they're not 13 years old, they're seven.

If you know what, tough guys never do,

they never talk tough,

because when you do, you sound like you're playing

Call of Duty in your parents' basement.

I am the lion.

I rule the jungle.

Actually, lions don't live in jungles,

they live in savannas.

Shut up, see it or...

Mom, can you bring us down some pizza rolls?

That's the new Maga philosophy,

and not just abroad, but here at home.

Today, during a hearing to become

the next Homeland Security Secretary,

Oklahoma Senator Mark Wayne Mullin

actually defended dueling.

This was immediately an intense hearing at kickoff

between the Republican chairman,

Rand Paul and Senator Mark Wayne Mullin,

dating back to some history that two of them

have, specifically as it relates to an attack

by Rand Paul's neighbor in 2017.

In 2017, Rand Paul was attacked

by one of his constituents seriously injured,

and Mullin at the time made a comment

about the fact that he understood

why that person might have acted out

violently against Rand Paul.

What I was simply pointing out is some of the rules

that still apply to this body.

For instance,

dueling with two consenting adults is still there.

I was pointing out what is still legal for 170 years.

There's no precedent for legal dueling.

I don't know which part of that is

weirder that Mark Wayne thought

dueling was still legal or that Rand

immediately knew.

It hasn't been legal for 170 years.

Okay, nerd.

If you challenge Rand to a duel and

said name the time in the place, he'd say,

uh, I'm not sure about the place,

but let's make the time the year 1856

so we don't get arrested.

Shut up, see it or!

Mom!

Get a move on the pizza roll!

Also very funny to describe a duel

is being between two consenting adults.

You know, because if only one person consents,

that's murder.

It's not okay if one guy is just pacing.

Why'd you shoot me?

You were counting your steps!

My Fitbid's broken!

Do it manually!

But that's the philosophy of Maga.

Violence and brute force rule the world

that can do whatever they want,

which is why even the voices within the administration,

who were the loudest against war,

with Iran are now changing their tune,

like Tulsi Gabbard,

who when she was running for president

as a Democrat in 2019,

yeah, I also think that's weird now.

Said this about Donald Trump.

This president and his chicken hawk cabinet

have led us to the brink of war with Iran.

This war with Iran would be far more devastating,

far more costly than anything that we ever saw in Iraq.

This is why it's so important

that every one of us,

every single American, stand up and say,

no war with Iran.

Now, chicken hawk is someone who goes to war

but never served a one,

and I just want to say how dare she

calls Stephen Miller a chicken hawk,

when he's clearly way more of a mad scientist,

who would try to combine a chicken and a hawk.

I've taken blood samples from both of the animals,

cross-reference their DNA,

and splice their genes

to produce the first-ever chicken hawk.

Behold!

Gabbard was fully against the war with Iran

until she started working for Trump.

During a hearing today,

she even skipped over parts of her written statement

that would have undercut the case for Trump's war.

I mean, you're printed testimony today on page six,

and your last paragraph on page six

as a result of Operation Midnight Hammer,

Iran's nuclear enrichment program was obliterated.

There's been no efforts to try to rebuild their enrichment

capability.

You omitted that paragraph from your

oral opening.

Was that because the president said

there was an imminent threat two weeks ago?

No, sorry, I recognized that the time was running long

and I skipped through some of the portions of my school.

So you chose to take

Oh, my oral delivered remarks.

You chose to admit the parts that can contradict the president.

First of all, it's on C-SPAN.

Feel free to go long.

I mean, the next show,

next show in the schedule is two dudes in a hallway

argue about ethanol subsidies.

And even if you were trying to keep it short,

you just coincidentally left out the part

that would have contradicted the president,

is that way you also chose not to read that part of your statement

that says,

windmills don't cause cancer,

and also they're called wind turbines dumbass.

So this is the new manga.

They lied about any foreign wars.

All they care about is power.

They can invade any country they want.

First, it was Venezuela.

Then it was Iran.

Next, it's Cuba.

President Trump has again set his sights on Cuba.

New York Times is reporting that President Trump wants Cuba's

president to step down.

On Monday, Trump suggested that he was open

to taking the country over.

We'll see what happens.

They were asking me about that.

I think Cuba, I don't know, it's in its own way

if you know, tourists have been everything else.

It's a beautiful island, great weather.

They're not in a hurricane zone,

which is nice for a change, you know.

They won't be asking to so many for hurricanes every week.

Okay, first of all, Cuba is absolutely in a hurricane zone.

They've had 11 major hurricanes since 2000,

including one in October.

Don't do weather reports, okay?

You're bad at it.

Even the hand movement.

Can you imagine this guy doing a local forecast?

As you can see, the rain's gonna go this way.

That is gonna go back this way.

And then it's gonna go back this way again.

But Trump continued musing about his ambition

to invade and conquer Cuba.

All my life, I've been hearing about the United States and Cuba.

When will the United States do it?

I do believe I'll be the honor of having the honor of

taking Cuba.

To prom?

To the demutant ball?

Why do you talk so weird?

I do believe I will have the honor of taking Cuba

to Cotillian.

And if any man gets in my way,

I will challenge him to a door, which is still legal.

Also, why do you keep his little hands like this?

I'm a tough guy.

You are all I'm as with me.

They got my two little hands ready to go.

Back Maga is already so gung-ho about invading Cuba.

You guys, they've already got merch.

I'm in Miami.

You see this hat?

Free Cuba.

Stay tuned.

The liberation of Cuba is upon us.

It's just a matter of time now.

You see this hat?

Make a run great.

It's the way you have personalized merch

for every country you're invading.

Lindsay, are you starting a war organizing a bachelor at party?

See this hat?

Says make Audrey great again.

She's getting married.

We're going to Miami for the weekend to celebrate.

Even if Mima says I'm not allowed to drink because I get fresh,

nobody's getting fresh with you.

You'll just beg.

Smell like chewing tobacco and vipo rub.

What?

Yeah, I would like the pizza roll.

I would.

Trump, of course, loves the branding.

He also loves when things go boom.

On Wednesday, for example, he held up

a model of a B2 bomber, which means he had to take his little hand.

If you're wondering how you got him ready to go and they picked it right up.

He picked up a model of a B2 bomber and bragged about how cool it was.

But, of course, since he's Trump, he did it in the weirdest possible way.

These gorgeous B2 bombers give me that bomber,

and just let me just hug that little sucker with that bomber over there.

Like, you know immediately which one.

This looks small, but in person, it's very big.

I guess, and that's not the first time he said that, I'm sure more than one person

has gotten a text from Trump that says,

this looks small, but in person, it's very big.

I'll say you don't have to tell us the model is big in person.

None of us thought that was actual size.

None of us were watching me like, oh, they made the plate too small.

They made, oh, well, well, well, well, it's just a model, it's just a model car.

We've all had to suffer through years of dumb punditry about how Maga was actually anti-war.

It was all BS. We knew it was BS.

We were still in a war with Iran. Trump's already excited about a new war with Cuba.

He's showing us how excited he is.

Now, you may not think from looking at him that he's excited, but trust me, his excitement.

Looks small, but in person, it's very big.

Then, then, a closer look.

Well, there's no secrets here.

Brafos, the Real Housewives of Atlanta, is why.

It's a dinner from hell.

The boy.

I love it.

And the ladies are on the prowl.

The people on the land.

That's my friend.

I don't think I can find me a cowboy.

With big arms and tattoos, I do feel like I'm ready to start dating.

And it's none of nobody's business.

We'll see.

Our guest tonight is in Emmy, an Academy Award-nominated actor, you know, from La La Land,

Barbie, Half Nelson, and Drive.

He's both a producer and star of the highly anticipated film,

Project Hail Mary, which is only in theaters.

And I'm Axe, this Friday, March 20th.

Please welcome to the show, everybody.

Ryan Gosling.

How are you?

You got Wally here?

We got Wally.

I was bummed that you noticed him.

Is everybody here?

Yeah.

Cucard Wally.

I mean, that's Cucard Wally.

Try the other hand.

I mean, that's me.

I mean, you've got a couple of guys.

An S&L multi-level host, right?

Multi-time host.

And Wally is like, everybody's, I mean,

you need to be able to see Wally before you can relax at S&L.

He's never, I mean, he's your, he's, he, and Donna.

Yeah, we got Donna for you right over there.

Give it up for Donna.

Oh my god.

Yeah.

Come on.

Yeah.

I think they're there.

We've got the A team.

We really do have the A team over here.

They are the wind beneath your wing.

Yeah.

Donna, I feel bad for Donna because we wanted to make sure

Donna had the easiest job in the work.

She's the hardest job at S&L, which is she dresses the host

in between each sketch.

Yeah.

She's like two seconds to change you.

If you, you know, if you wonder how you go from like,

yeah, beevus and butt head to a cyclops in two minutes,

it's Donna who makes that happen.

Yeah, so sometimes she has to prod you, slap you.

I've had a few rips your clothes on.

Yeah.

Turn around, slap you in the, yeah.

On Monday, they make you sign a thing being like,

I will not report Donna to HR.

But you have pink Donna here, which is amazing,

because she's always in black at S&L.

That's right.

We can't, she can't draw attention.

This is we allow her light to shine here.

You look beautiful, look at it.

Yeah, yeah, Donna looks good.

Yeah.

And Donna's sister, can I mention her bakery?

Sure.

Yeah, she owns a bakery in Florida, in Tallahassee.

Yeah.

And they make the most incredible pop tarts.

You have to order these pop tarts.

And Donna gives them to you at the beginning of the show,

like when you start hosting.

So you're just running on pop tarts, don't you?

I'll leave you a pop tarts.

I mean, it's fascinating.

We're just in year 12 of the show, Ryan.

And not a single tart has popped for all Seth.

Oh, my God.

I didn't even know she had a family.

I didn't mean to start this.

Just me.

Yeah.

I bet Momoa gets popped.

Yeah, I mean, yeah.

Momoa.

Yeah, there we go.

There we go.

Yeah.

I know it's her favorite host.

Yeah, I know.

Where are you?

I'm checking the way that's slowly.

At the S&L 50th, when she had a chance to say her favorite hope.

But were you hopeful that you'd maybe

going to shout out, you know what?

I'm going to earn it.

I'll get there.

You've done a lot to earn it.

I mean, one of the great SNL sketches

the last 10 years with Kate McKinnon.

Here's Sessley Strong, close to K.

Oh, my God.

I think that's true.

We're talking backstage.

You know, the secret of the S&L.

You make it look easy.

And it's not.

And that show is so hard from Monday to Sunday.

Well, because you don't sleep for a week.

Yeah.

And then you're just delirious.

Yeah.

And then Wally tells you what to say.

And Donna gets you dressed and tells you what to stand.

Did you though before this one started?

Did you know on Wednesday, like, oh, this is going to be a winner?

Or was this surprising?

Well, I got to see Kate do a little bit of it at the table.

Yeah.

So I knew it was coming at me.

Right.

So I just was sort of bracing myself.

Yeah.

But you can't.

No.

Well, I guess it makes it worse.

It's like, you should just, I don't know.

It's like, they say you should, I don't know.

You get hit or something.

You should just let the impact.

Right.

That's not what they say.

What are they saying?

No, that's the thing that makes it worse.

Oh, tensing makes it worse.

That would make sense for you.

Like, if somebody's punching you, you're

supposed to go limp like a bag of sand.

Exactly.

You know what I should?

And they don't hit you again.

That's the same.

Boxing clinic.

Yeah.

The other thing about Kate is every time you think

she's at like the full 10 out of 10.

Yeah.

You realize like, no, she was at six.

No, she hasn't.

Yeah.

Like, there's seven more lives to sit on your head

or something.

You didn't know that was coming.

And then you get in trouble for laughing.

Yeah.

I mean, it's pretty great.

I don't know if it trouble.

I mean, I think it's good.

Well, people do get a little bit like, come on.

Yeah.

Well, that was serious, man.

That was what was so magical about this last episode.

So just kind of leaned into it with you and Ashley.

Oh, they wrote us the whole time.

Yeah, they changed lines between dress and air.

Ooh.

Yeah.

I was very novel.

Oh.

I will say I got to say watching at home,

I was deeply jealous.

I was like, that's a really great idea.

And that's the highest praise I can pay the show after I leave it

at any time makes me feel jealous.

That was Mikey and Streeter.

Yeah.

I mean, those guys are very, very good at what they do.

Yeah.

It's also, obviously, you have a new movie that's outer space.

I mean, Close Encounters, little alien stuff.

This has been a trend of yours through your career.

We found, I believe it's your first acting job, is a Canadian.

Tell me about this backstage.

I'm not going to pretend I haven't heard this, but.

You haven't seen it.

No, I did.

She showed me on her phone.

OK, gotcha.

But I haven't seen it.

That's the first time I've ever seen it.

Oh, you didn't see it when it aired?

No.

I was like, it was like one of my first jobs.

Yeah, but why?

I mean, my first job.

I'm not sure it really aired.

OK.

It's called, I do have to, I'm going to read it,

because I didn't remember this show, no offense.

Sci-factor, Chronicles of the Paranormal.

With Dan Ackroy.

With Dan Ackroy.

So it's a very Canadian show.

It's like Trader Stories.

Told by Dan Ackroyd, and kind of unsolved mysteries

sort of way about Paranormal.

And you played a teenager who was basically

accosted by, well, like, what, abducted?

Abducted by aliens.

Gotcha.

So this is really, this is your genre.

I think so.

Yeah.

And by the way, you're very good at it.

Even from the very beginning, you're very good at it, Ryan.

Should we watch the clip?

Oh, god.

Oh, my god.

Yeah.

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god.

You're built for it.

Should we do it?

Yeah, we get it.

And then we'll put, obviously, we'll put the effects enough.

What the effects in?

Can we put the effects in?

I'm being told we don't have the budget for the effects.

What?

You know what, maybe we'll find it.

We don't even.

I think we showed the lighting, well, was that a situation

where they were screaming, shake now?

I don't, I don't remember.

I didn't even remember doing it until 20 minutes ago.

All right.

We got more with Ryan right after this.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Welcome back, and we're here at Ryan's from Project Hail Mary.

You've been involved with this for a long time.

Yeah.

So that's my friend Rocky.

That's your friend Rocky.

Yeah.

And Rocky is a practical, is an actual puppet.

Aren't we all?

Yeah.

I mean, showbiz, right?

We're all just around.

The brad, the CEO's.

They're the ones pulling the strings, baby.

LAUGHTER

But that's it.

They built an actual spacious, like actually weirdly less

effects than this than inside the paranormal.

It was too real.

It didn't need to be this real.

No one told our production designer that this spaceship

didn't need to actually go to space.

And we could have had a CGI.

Yeah.

Rocky, but we didn't.

I mean, there is CGI involved.

Right.

He's CGI curious.

OK.

He's a practical, practical puppet, is there.

And sometimes I felt like I was hanging out with my alien buddy.

It was pretty, it was amazing.

And they captured in the film, which

is part of, I think, the magic of the movies,

that you really feel like there's a real bond there.

And I promise you, you won't believe this,

but you will cry for him at the end of this movie.

Yeah.

You can't believe you're going to love a faceless rock alien

this much.

I mean, people, the people who were here who

have seen it, every one of them has said they've cried.

So I believe you.

Yeah, there were some SNL folks that were like mad,

because they were like, oh, you love this, wasn't it comedy?

We didn't want to cry in front of each other,

because it's not the vibe over there.

Weirdly, I cried in front of almost everybody I worked with.

Oh, that's OK.

Yeah.

Did you, Lorda Miller, incredible director duo,

and they're really good at both hard and being really funny?

They're one of a kind.

They really are, even though there's two of them.

But they obviously, they do the voice of Rocky after,

but they would, is it true they'd surprise you on set

and have people come in and do the voice?

Yet, well, there was a day when my girls were visiting me

and they put them on the mic.

So I got to do some scenes with them as Rocky, which was pretty.

And that reaction is in the film, so you can see

when I look extra just like, start heart eyes emoji guy,

that's them.

So Andy, we wrote this book.

And is it, before he even, before the book was available

to purchase, he reached out to you and basically said,

hey, do you want to help me bring this to the screen one day?

Yeah, it was a, a manuscript that hadn't been published.

There was no context.

I didn't know what I was about to read, so I went on the journey.

That's really fantastic.

A lifetime.

But it came during lockdown when all the theaters were shutting down

and film productions were shutting down.

And here was this opportunity to make and produce

the most ambitious film I will ever make, probably.

And I thought, this would be a Hail Mary

if we could actually get it done, you know.

And here we are.

Yeah, almost six years later.

And we did.

Fantastic.

You, obviously, as a no stranger to space films,

there's zero gravity stuff.

But a lot of that was also done wires.

Yeah, you were up on wires.

Go to space on this one.

Do you enjoy, do you enjoy wire acting?

There's a special place in hell for wire acting.

I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

It's a opposite of what it looks like.

Yeah.

Oh, right, because it looks like free-flowing and like,

oh, my god, look at this magic.

But you're probably just getting pulled in all different places.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's hard to talk about it actually.

But it's great in this film because I'm not good at space

in the film.

Yes, you play someone who is reluctant to go.

Yeah, so I'm going, you know, it's quite,

we kind of, we were hoping to sort of channel a bit

of like Chaplin's modern times or something into this,

where it's just total, it's organized chaos, but it's chaos.

And it's not that sort of like space ballet stuff you're used to.

Right.

And we had real astronauts visit us one day.

And I was nervous because I'm just like, you know,

going tale-over-tea kettle-over and bumping in everything

and it's totally ineligant.

And I went back to the monitor and I said,

oh, how's that, you know?

What do you think of that?

And they were like, that's what it's like.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, wow, so that way, you got it right.

Yeah.

Cinema is amazing.

Yeah.

You also, you got, I just woke up from a long sleep, right.

Beard and hair.

Oh, my God.

Who's that?

That's a...

I saw him in the Space Caveman.

But this is an important look to Nail,

where you're very happy.

Who are you aiming for with your beard hair?

I was just going Space Caveman.

Yeah.

But I had thought, you know, I don't like do this a lot

and I have a little bit of trauma because I went for it

a bit on this film, The Big Short.

Oh, yeah.

And, you know, when I stepped out in my wig and in costume

and I ran into Steve Carell, who's the first person I saw

and he just stared at me and he said,

never do this again.

LAUGHTER

Damn it.

You know, it's the last thing you want.

Yeah.

That's not what you want from your steam partner.

Right before you go out.

Never do this again.

But you, at least, you weren't listed.

Until now.

Yeah.

You stopped working with Steve Carell, though, right?

You guys never did it.

No, I never spoke to him again.

Hey, this is a very hard ticket to get

the opening weekend of the show.

Oh.

But you're doing a very cool thing,

which is everybody who's here right now.

Should they choose to?

If you're not busy.

If you're not busy, after the show tonight,

there are going to be buses outside

and if you want to go to the premiere of this film,

The Premier.

Oh, no.

The Premier.

APPLAUSE

We've never had anything quite like this before.

Very cool.

Thank you for cheering me on.

You guys, that's Ryan Gosling.

Friday, come here and stay with us.

This Friday, March 20th.

Late night was Seth Meyers.

He has weeknights on NBC at 12.35, 11.35 Central.

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