S2EP106| Empowering the Next Generation: The 4C Framework with Jimmy Jayes and Fig & Eagle Fundamentals

Welcome to Cash Flow Legends, where we teach you how to keep more of what you

make so you can earn on more of what you keep. Each episode your host Nate

Brandon and Brock will take you on a journey that empowers you with

financial knowledge you need to thrive in today's world, all with a touch of

southern charm. So grab a sweet tea, settle in and join us as we reveal the

secrets of personal finance and infinite banking.

Welcome to Cash Flow Legends, we're excited to have Jimmy Jay's here Brock. I

know you and I are always looking for value creators in the world and I know we

have one here today with Jimmy and he's going to be talking about mentor

family. But Jimmy for somebody that's new, what are you really trying to get

people to understand or help people understand through Fig and Eagle, which I

have been a proud member and part of and you know we're going to be talking

about the four C's framework today, but you start us out on what the goal and

the purpose and the drive behind Fig and Eagle is. Yeah, I would say that there

is a war on family and we are on a mission to take back the family. And there

are four forces that are absolutely crushing right now that are working day

and night 24 hours against us as parents and we have different challenges with

your parent, grandparent, whether you've got young kids, teens, kids with

special needs, doesn't matter. We have these different circumstances than we've

ever had before that are working kind of behind the scenes and we think that

you know something's wrong with our kids or something's wrong with us and

really it's just these four forces that are grinding on us and so we're on a

mission to take back the family and I'm so excited to be here and talking to you

as it today. A little context for our relationship, Brock and Jimmy and I all have

the privilege of operating in some similar circles of people and there's a

central theme because I saw Brock's head nodding that our core values are

foundational principles that work are important to understand whether it's

comes to parenting or money principles, how we run a business and the quicker we

begin to realize those things are at play, I don't want to say it's a cheat

code but it's an awareness that this is what I've been missing and we'll come

from the family angle today a lot but Brock, I'm so glad we have you here

because Brock is in the beginning stages of starting you know he's about to

be married, Brock remind me the date October 3rd, October 3rd and then I'm sure

from there you know the conversation of children and family raising and all

that will come into play at some point with Addison, so Jimmy this will be

perfect for him because man if you and I could have had this framework for our

families when we started, no we talked about this a bunch, I felt like I'd have been

a light years ahead which would then allowed me to bring value to others that I

care about more quickly so we're gonna be talking about several things today

but Jimmy you wanted to focus on one C today since we only have you know a

certain amount of time which C did you want to focus on and why is it so

important for today? Yeah we'll talk about courage a little bit today I love

what you said about about Brock and I think really there's something called

trim tabs that we'll talk about today when you understand trim tabs you get

an insane amount of leverage in a good way inside of your life and all the

stuff that we're talking about they're not parenting principles, their

people principles and so everything that we're gonna talk about today applies

across the board in fact we have an elite program where we work with

businesses and in family we talk about roots and wings in the family and in a

business context when we go in we'll train an entire staff about the same

concept of roots and wings and in a business context before we spend most of

our time on family but for one second the business context of this is if you

you know raise up a company and you don't give people wings what happens is

they don't know how to solve problems they get entitlement they're solving the

wrong things they think in terms of time and effort not the value that they

create for the business and so we want to have staff members that are

thinking about solving bigger and bigger problems that are thinking about how

can I create value and with either you saw the the Anthropic article that came

out a couple of weeks ago about AI but AI just went from being something you

chat with to something that has AI agents and the world of getting paid for

tasks is gone that's not gonna exist anymore and if our kids are thinking about

time and effort and tasks versus thinking about how do I solve a bigger and

bigger problem they're gonna be left behind then on the wing side the root side

of things we had to make sure that we have a company culture that we have

values and that we have you know the right types of people and I remember John

Maxwell once saying you know hey when it comes to giving our staff wings or

investing in them like what happens if we invest all this money into our staff

and we train them and we give them leadership and great stuff and then they

just leave and John Maxwell thanks for a second the way he always does and he

says what if we don't grow them and they stay I love that just such a great

frame so regardless of what frame you're looking at this today all this

stuff that I that I talk about just say you know me and where are their

business things that I'm not doing in my family and where their family

things that I'm not doing in my business and just think through this lens of

roots and wings across you know all aspects of your life I really like that

Brock I heard I saw your head nodding so go ahead and what's up that's you

there Jimmy I personally heard John Maxwell say that we if you know yeah you know

who Caleb Williams is that's who introduced us Caleb Williams and I went

and played Pebble Beach with John Maxwell last year and I heard him talk about

that very thing and some of his employees talk about the fact that he said that

to them and that's why he's no longer the actual like CEO or anything of John

Maxwell leadership and why they're raising people up and so I a hundred

percent agree with you and have seen that firsthand from John Maxwell to talk

about the fact of like what happens if we invest in all these people and they

get up and leave but at the same rate what happens if we don't invest in them

and they stay like both both may hurt you but the one in which they probably get

up and leave is probably ten times better because they're gonna leave it better

than they found it man and Brock didn't even know that there would be a

connection later on about leave it better than you found it from an example

Jimmy and I were talking about so we'll come to that in a little while but

Jimmy there's so much good content here I'm gonna frame it like this and pass

it back to you on the sea you're gonna focus on and kind of what comes from

that and how you guys operate fig and eagle right now that I've got an

experience and others have to when you talk about taking back the family one

thing that I'm most excited about that has been a real part of Nate and I's

mission and clarity and you'll see in our conversations with Brock and

cashflow legends is this reality that trying to separate business from family

trying to separate faith from finances is really idiotic I'm talking to

myself but it's you can't have something that's a part of who you are and go I'm

gonna keep it over here in this box and it's not gonna affect this other thing

right and so I love the point of you guys talking about taking back to family

and how truthfully Jimmy that's propelled me in my thinking and all the

people I've been around to go quit trying to separate this how does it work

together like Tim Teebo said when you're hiding as a guest on you know I don't

think about balance I think about tension and tension strengthens and

stabilizes so start us wherever you want you do this all the time I mean we're

probably gonna be like it's your podcast and not ours anyway because you're

familiar with leading but where do you want to start yeah I just I think a really

great lead in based on the audience of this podcast and the work that you do

we talked a little bit about Caleb Williams I actually met my my business

partner and mentor and I don't lose use that word lightly Scott Donald he was

speaking on a stage of Caleb Williams and I remember distinctly sitting in the

crowd taking notes and a question that he asked the group and everybody there

was there for one form or another of insurance or financial services and he

said hey if you could choose only one of these three things to leave to your

kids and grandkids and you had to choose one what would you leave them all of

your money and stuff your assets all of your knowledge number two or number

three all of your experiences and wisdom which one would you leave and the

resounding answer of course is experiences and wisdom and it made me have a

moment where I thought about how much of my day goes towards creating wisdom and

passing on experience to my kids versus how much of my day goes towards chasing

money in a negative way like Maaman to give them something one day maybe and when

I look all around me it's very very clear it's not about the question about

should I leave them shouldn't I leave them money that's not the question the

question is what happens if you leave them all of the money without the wisdom

experiences and you need to add and need to answer that question all you need to

do is look at Hollywood look at any athletes look at anybody who got the money

without the wisdom and it's not just that they blow the money and entitled an

entitled child will destroy your wealth an anxious child will be destroyed by

your wealth so we've got to be really really careful that this isn't just a

game about how much can we store up to pass to kids one day and the the

mechanism of infinite banking and the way that you teach it you know goes hand

in hand with solving this but I think that that it's it's a principle but the

first principle is in infinite banking the first principle is what we leave in our

kids is more important than what we leave to our kids and once you nail that

then everything else comes into line there's a great connection here with

Brock and his story what you just said Nate and our story and what brought us

were all an agreement of what you just said that infinite banking is definitely

a thing to do it's tied to principles that are foundational Brock had the

privilege of being around all of these principles for a long time and being

raised by them indirectly or directly but Brock still chose and Brock I'll

let you tell that story but I know you chose to get involved your dad and

invited you along so I saw you nod in your head a lot there touch on what Jimmy

just said there and we'll keep going on how that connects with all of our

stores yeah I think it's it's what everything you just said there Jimmy was so

in line with how I was raised and and the things that have been I guess bestowed

on to me about the fact of when you if you look at any of this stats today what

you find is all wealth once it's passed on is gone or it goes hot as some people

would say about the third generation is completely gone and I've actually met

someone who what is the I believe he's either he's either the great grandson or

the grandson of one of the wealthiest families in all of America and he started

with zero because by the time it got to him all that that was passed on was

money there was no values there were no wisdom there was no anything else and

he was blessed enough to be able to build it back up and how he is out there

changing the course of the lives of so many families doing this because like

you said it's about what you leave in them and not to them as much because yeah

if you give them the money but you don't share with them how to be good stewards

of that money they're starting from square one and they are going to make all

the mistakes again and it's likely that they're going to burn it down and you

know it might destroy them as you said if it's given to I believe you said an

anxious person yes Scott has spent probably the last 15 years studying what

he calls the top 100 families and through some of the work is on it apex and

things he did for you know front fund runs and things like that for schools has

been able to serve 8 million families in other ventures which has got him

access to meet a lot of great people mentor family was never supposed to be a

business it was literally just him learning from sometimes living with some of

the best families in the world so that he could capture that information and you

know just he's great at codifying is really his skill and to be able to do that

in his own family and I think when people hear that story they think that the

top successful families are like all the billionaires and it's not some of them

are his definition of succession because I think the financial services world

has hijacked the word legacy and hijacked the word succession to mean a tax

advantage way to pass down assets that is not succession succession is your

kids blowing by you in all of the ways that matter and your grandkids so when

you see a generation after generation of one two three four five you know

generations of kids and grandkids blowing past their parents in the depth of

relationship in their marriage in their relationship with Jesus in the

financial sides of things in the stewardship and the impact that they're having

that's what he means when he says the top hundred families and so all the

stuff I'm sure today is not you know the Jimmy show or the Scotchow it's this is

just things that we've been able to observe and codify from some of these

top hundred families in our mission is just to get that out to as many other

families as we can because the four forces we're gonna talk about in a minute

that machine is kicking out families on the wrong side of this thing way faster

than you know Scott and I could ever fix it so we need to train 10,000 mentor

families as quickly as possible who know these principles so that they can you

know share them first with their family and then with the people that they love

the most. Jimmy you'll have a framework and family mentor that really helps

families go through this process of understanding not just understanding the

four C's but understanding what's it work behind the four C's and why if you

really begin to lean into understanding what is so important about them it's

kind of like Nelson that often you know there's a scene in the unseen there's

a scene that you're trying to take action on that you know gets a result the

unseen starts being the things that our kids see that we're leaving in them that

takes time right now so on the C that you're gonna focus on the day where does

that really come into play. Share y'all's framework because what I hope for our

listeners is if they're ever out there and trust me all parents are all families

are going there's got to be something I'm missing there's got to be something

that I haven't been told and I can't have to be on this island on my own that

can't be normal. That's what I really realized family mentor did and it brought

this reality to my mind that the foundational principles that we have the

privilege of teaching that go back to you know how Jesus walked this earth and

called us to love others just we love ourselves and love the Lord our God with

all our hearts all in mind what that really means is that plays out in your

family in your life and your core values so what does that look like for someone

who goes from our audience man I think this is something that I need to look

into and what could they expect. Yeah so I think a great framework is everything

that we've learned we bow down into roots and wings the root side of things is

connection and core values and we imagine just a tree with deep roots and that

there's also fruit on the tree which is connection. On the wing side that is

capability and courage we want our children to have abilities and skills and we

want our children to have virtues and you might say well virtue you said

courage you say courage well CS Lewis has a quote that I love that says courage is

not just one of the virtues but it is the form of every virtue at its

testing point we've got to have courage and you know do not fear said over and

over and over and over and over and over in the Bible so that's what everything

kind of boils into and I'll tell you about something called the trim tab in the

second because people say well how hard does it do all of this and my answer is

well depends on how you're going about it but the four those four C's are the

four solutions to these four forces that are happening and I'll give you

the super quick version of it there's one force that's called dopamine

distortion our children have more dopamine hits by the time they're 12 then we

did in our entire lives because of all the bings and dings it used to be you'd

watch a video and it was you know nine seconds long before the next clip came

on and now we're shows like Koko male and it's like two seconds long so from

nine seconds down to two seconds and they put kids in a room with two video

screens one has Koko male and on it the other one has you know a giraffe or a

mom pouring a cup of coffee and every time kids look at the other screen they

change out the two-second clip in their show so when when parents are like man

my kid just seemed addicted or they seem like they freak out every time it's they

think they're doing something wrong and really their dopamine has just been

disrupted and it's not an accident the currency now is attention and all the

people that used to work in like the casino world where was their job to make

sure you didn't leave those people now work in app development and if your

child doesn't iPad with 100 apps everyone knows apps has 30 developers and

there's thousands of people working full-time to make sure your child doesn't

get off we used to pay money for the video game now the video game is free and

the skins and the upgrades and all of that is what you pay for so the incentive

changed to now make sure your kid doesn't leave the thing so that's dopamine

discussion I could talk forever about it but that is one force that's happening

it's leaving our kids isolated and it's leaving them addicted the second one

of the forces is called the anti-family force and I could again go on and on

about this one but what I will say is this first they painted family as being

incompetent look at shows always have an incompetent dad then they painted

as unnecessary and next they pointed as the enemy and that's already happening

and your kids are getting messages from all over the place that is painting

family as the problem as the enemy hyperindependence should rule the day and

it's leaving kids rudderless and it's leaving kids confused the third

force is the one we'll talk more about today and that is really about having

kids that have the opposite of instant gratification is delayed

gratification which is what it takes to be a great husband a great

business owner a great investor to use the infinite banking but our kids are

learning instant gratification everywhere and it's it's convenience and it's

good in some ways right but all of a sudden now you don't have to wait for

music on the radio you don't have to get a CD then it went to you could just

buy only the song that you wanted now we don't even buy the song we just rent it

and it's on our phone 24 seven and you to anyone that you want so kids aren't

learning anything to do with delayed gratification anymore and the bottom line

is it's leaving them fearful and it's leaving them fragile and all you have to

do is wait until you don't get something wait till the wait till there's

something negative that happens and you see how fragile our kids have become as

result of it and the fourth one is what we call the AI era and the bottom

line of AI era is again talk about it for a long time but it used to take a

hundred years for information to double then the printing press came out it took

25 years then once the internet picked up some steam it wasn't until around

2008 I study came out that said information was now doubling every year and if

you think about the second and third over consequences of that if you grew up

thinking I'm gonna get go to college and get a good job and you're in a five

year degree all the sudden year three of your five year college half what you

learned year one doesn't isn't relevant anymore and there's new technologies or

new double-blind studies that make that obsolete and so we can't solve

problems at the same level of thinking and now you're seeing the problem of

people having these giant student loans and they can't get a job and how are

they gonna pay for it well that was 2008 right so I referenced this

Anthropic study so as of about a month ago it's now 13 hours information

doubles every 13 hours so it's leaving our kids overwhelmed and feeling

obsolete and we're we're really optimistic about the future about what's

possible kids are gonna have opportunities that they've never had before but if

you take a child that is fearful and fragile that is feeling you know

addicted and isolated that's rudderless and confused right and we take that

child and we put them into the future that's coming man they're gonna have

some it's not gonna be it's not gonna be easy it's not gonna be the life that

our grandparents had or that we had and so those are the four forces and they

are I just I just think about the number of schools that are out there's

130,000 schools just in the United States that are pumping out kids that are

thinking in terms of time and effort and not value creation and it's not

to it's not the teachers fault teachers are you know great Scott's married to

teachers he's an angel it's the system the system hasn't updated and it's

teaching kids to be ready for 1985 not 2035 and that machine and you know the

anti-family focus think about Hollywood that machine is pumping out at such a

faster rate than we ever could and so that's why it needs to not be about us

it's our mission to create 10,000 mentor families and I think that's when we

start to make a dent in this problem so hopefully that sets up the problem and

then we can jump into one of the seas now I love that so because I have some

Lee and I have some reward experience with you guys this program and all of

the value that you guys bring what I love about your what you're doing is

you're bringing in what Scott's experience for you know 15, 20, 25 years what

you've experienced from your expertise and points of view and you're and this

is a key factor that I think we look for often in all of our relationships is

you are humbly saying this isn't about us this is about a much bigger problem

that we know needs to be attacked and solved in a way or this is stuck with me

forever as a former medical principal in one of the one of the four seas where

we talked about for the first time ever we live in a generation where it's a

bruised heart instead of a bruised eye and even when I was getting out of

education in 2020 it was a whole new set of rules that you had to go by to try

to help kids succeed or overcome things that we couldn't see the social media

the DMs the things going on the comparison game and we like to think we're way

better than junior high kids a lot of times but adults struggle with the same

thing myself included and so we have to be aware of these factors like you're

saying Jim I mean I like that you'll give it a definition and not only do you

give it a definition of what the four seas are you make it easier to understand

that we're all dealing with these at some level or another and it's never going

to be I figured it all out right it's always going to be a progressive growth

and improvement to where we may have been at a one or two there's a process

y'all use that I really like and now we're at a three or four well that three

or four is a hundred percent better than it was a year ago it's a hundred

percent improved so on the seas I'd like to hear some real life examples then

if some of our experiences can tie into that we'll touch on those two but on the

four seas which one really jumps out to you that you want to dive into for a

little bit yeah let's jump into into courage remind me to hit on trim tab at

some point because the thing is that that really helps people understand you know

how to make this really easy inside of courage our definition is kids who do

three things one is do hard things make the big decisions and leave things

better those are the three things we're looking for inside of courage and so

this the way that we teach this to kids by the way is there is a story that a

lot of people have heard about a cow and a buffalo where a cow runs away from

a storm and a buffalo heads headfirst into the storm and because they're

going into the storm they actually get through the storm a lot faster and that's

something that I would call grit and that is a part of doing hard things but

there's another animal that I think does a better example than the buffalo

because the buffalo has grit but the eagle is what is called anti-fragile and I

thought I knew what anti-fragile meant I we were writing a workbook for parents

and halfway through I was like I don't understand this word I thought that

there was fragile and then there was resilient fragile is like a glass

resilient is like a metal cup well there's something totally different it's

called anti-fragile that is a thing that gets stronger every time there's

adversity every time there's stress so the human immune system is an example of

an anti-fragile system the more you stress it the more it comes in contact with

germs or things it becomes stronger and stronger and stronger and that's

called anti-fragile and that's what I want for my kids and so the eagle flies

headfirst into the storm but not to grit its way through the storm it uses the

winds of the storm to gain altitude is barely flapping its wings and it flies

above the storm that's what we want for our kids how do we teach it would be

anti-fragile how do we teach them first that we reframe things for them stop

reading parenting books by the way start reading coaching books and learn how to

help your kids reframe things right a best friend reframe if you're if your

best friend was going through this exact thing right now what would you say to

them sometimes we say the meanest things to ourselves that we would never say to

other people right a fast-forward reframe if you're in the middle of parenting

and you're just you're just going through it's one of those days right parenting

the the years are short but the days are long if you're in the middle of one of

those days a fast-forward reframe that you could do as a parent is say man I'm

gonna pretend I'm 90 and I'm living somewhere in my house is quiet and let's

just say that that God that day gave me the gift and said you can come back to

today and you have five minutes how would you experience your children who are

in the middle of a meltdown you just slow down and be like I'm so glad I'm here

with you and all of the anger go away and you're like you know you're just

acting like a three-year-old because you're three right so that is called a

fast-forward reframe here's journey reframe just like what what did I learn in

this process so as your kids are going through hard things and as you're going

through movies like stop watching a movie to be entertained watch a movie and at

the end of the movie ask your kids what was the worldview of that movie what

was the moment that the hero got the call to action and they refused it what

would have happened if they refused it what was the bad thing that happened in

the movie and how did that shape them what did that allow them to do next and see

once they have that as their frame now they're in the real world and something

happens and you just pull out one of those things what would this hero do what

are you learning from this so that's what I would call doing hard things it's

one third of what we would talk about inside of inside of courage I think that

is so so important on so many different levels and and there's a podcast done

with David Goggins so I'm not a huge huge fan of however he's David Goggins he's

got some bit info and Dr. Andrew Huberman I believe and they talk about the

fact that there is a part of the brain that needs you to do hard things and the

more hard things that you do they get bigger and better and I think even in

my own life one of the harder things that I ever did was wrestle in middle

school and high school and I distinctly remember there's two very distinct

moments in my wrestling career where I was like oh my gosh I can take this with me

for the rest of my life which was one there was an older I was in eighth

greater and there was a sophomore ahead of me that was two eight classes above

me that I thought was a lot better than I however my coaches thought

differently and as we were wrapping up for the last pairing of the day to

pummel each other and and spar go through whatever we needed to my coaches said

hey you need to go you're gonna wrestle this guy and I remember almost being

in tears telling them I can't do it and then being on there one of my coaches

before setting down with this guy he was like hey just remember technique will

almost always outweigh the heavier stronger person sure enough it happened

and I was like oh my gosh like that is true but then the other side of the

coin was I wrestled someone who we all thought was very nerdy he was not strong

he was not any of these things but as we were wrestling what I forgot to do was

breathe and I was grunting and pressuring and I started to pass out in the middle

of the match and I had to get up and let the guy do whatever he's needed to do

and I remember looking at my coach like I was about to fall over and he just

had to tell me like hey you got to lock in in life when it gets hard you can't

forget to breathe yeah I think going through those hard things is such an

important piece for families and I'm so happy that my family showed me and

made sure that I went through some really hard stuff yeah there's a great

connection in all of that that at the end of the day for us three because I know

Brock and Jimmy will have had lots of great conversations and native people with

us is we're all coaches so there's a fifth seat in my head of you know not only

do you need to know these things are true but I had to know and trust Jimmy

enough through relationship and long-ranging conversations and all kinds of

other stuff that we've talked about and gone through to know that I wanted to

be coached on this by by him to know that Scott was worth diving into what he

says he was an expert in because I knew Jimmy and you just hit it best Jimmy when

you said re-coaching books and we get to choose that we're in an age where

information is not the problem access to it is not the problem how we cipher or

siphon through it is what is necessary to build foundational things so when I

think about courage Jimmy I think about a couple of things that we see often in

our world because Brock deals with young entrepreneurs that are very

successful often that are already making lots of money and they think it's

always gonna be that way and they don't have any defense of thinking in mind we

balance each other or bring value to each other tension it's too much empty but

would say because we have the parent side and lots of kids and kids raising that

he hasn't experienced it and we can think through that together which brings

an immense amount of value but this reality is is that adults as a whole the

more they begin to invest into themselves and how they think about how they

think they start gaining courage back they start getting more clear on where

they're called to be courageous and their households and their families and

their relationships and their new partnerships whatever it might be and their

kids start seeing that they start doing what they see not just what they say

and if staying and seeing match up there's a bridge that gets connected or two

chasms that gets crossed because the kids go they don't tell us this because that

would be too easy you know they give us too much compliment as a parent but they

go I recognize what you're doing differently because I acted it out in my life

today and there's nothing as a parent I'm getting to say in it there's nothing

better than that and Jimmy we haven't talked in a while but I'm seeing even

though I think we just scratch the service of what you guys are offering to

people to take hold of I'm seeing it daily months and months and months later in

my household I'll give you a perfect example real quick the other day

is out of town our mom's going through some treatments and some things so when

dad's in charge it's probably cereals on the docket okay we're probably not

going to have as many groceries and those kind of things because mom is really

exceptional at doing those things without me even noticing it but I was like you

know what I'm capable of doing this so we ordered our groceries had them delivered

you know that's technology at its finest then you have to go to the store and

get them and my youngest nine year old is my youngest is nine he is notorious

for having the reputation of everybody doing something for him that's also a

reputation we've created and allowed him to live in so nobody else is here

everybody else is off doing something and they drop off groceries and unannounced

he gets up unprovoked comes and helps us get groceries out of the car brings

them in not told by me not expected and then he begins to put them up into the

pantry because he's taken ownership of that because if we said it once Jimmy we

said it a thousand times bringing value to this family brings joy to your mom

and dad and then his mom gets home and I've already bragged on him to her and

she starts bragging on what do you think that does and encourages a behavior

that we're looking to have our children live out daily and the lady dropping

off the Walmart grocery said I've never seen a nine year old come out the door

unannounced unprovoked and grab groceries like that y'all y'all are doing

something right and Jimmy this ain't about us just like it's not about you and

Scott this is about being good stewards of the gift gods given us in our

children for the time we have them and that's a huge responsibility so the

cool part about the courage pieces is parents if you're listening to this dad's

if you're listening to this business owners if you're listening to this or if

you're all those together more courage in your life creates more capability and

more opportunity to grow in other areas and that's really what you guys are

spending a lot of time giving people a community to do that in and that's

pretty cool yeah 100% and that's I mean we're talking right now on the wing

side of things right there's also a whole side of things on the root side of

things of connection and core values and correcting to values rather than

correcting behaviors but something that you said that I love that kind of

ties us all together the things we want in our kids are courageous children we

want anti-fragile children we want children that do hard things make big

decisions and leave things better the way that you get that the way that you

create that the environment where you will naturally produce that is an

environment where you have high expectation and high edification I'm giving

you this feedback because I have high standards for you and I know that you can

meet them that's true in sports that's true in business that's true in

family and so you just want to create that environment and if there's low

expectation and low encouragement and edification then you have what we

would call a caretaker where you're just doing everything for them if you've

got you know a lot of edification but not high standards then what ends up

happening is that we have a codler nurturing is good coddling is bad coddle

kids all of a sudden they they're just they're stuck they start falling into

an entitlement they're very very fragile they're actually more fragile than the

caretaker kids because not only do there's no one have expectations of them

but they're used to being complemented and built up all day long for having

done nothing because they got participation trophies their whole life the flip

side of that is a drill sergeant parent where you've got high expectation and low

edification and now you raise a child that becomes a vulture they're going to

win but at what cost they're trying to meet these high standards you set for

them but it's just you're catching them doing stuff wrong more than you're

catching them doing stuff right so we want high expectation high edification and

we call that a coach which is why I said to read more coaching books and that's

what a great coach does high expectation high edification and when we talk

about that we we say that encouragement would be like putting wind in

somebody's sale and we want to do that edification is like strengthening the

frame of the boat and we want both of those two things together so that is

really what creates you know that environment and what you're talking about

with kids just you know taking initiative and doing these with them being told

you know like parents listening there's some of them that are like that's not

possible or maybe that works with your kids but that won't work with my kids it's

because of this concept called a trim tab what you did is you created the right

environment so a trim tab we talked about this before Brandon is if you try to

turn a boat from moving the front of the boat the amount of pressure and force

that it would take is unreal but there's something called the rudder that you can

move at the back of the boat and get leverage and move the boat very very easily

while around the time of World War II even though that's a leverage thing the

size of the boats kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger and the limiting

factor on the size of the boat was how much energy they had to produce to turn

the rudder even though it was leveraged it's still an immense amount of energy

and so this invention was created called the trim tab and a trim tab is

basically a tiny little rudder on the rudder takes almost zero power to move

it when you move that thing it creates negative pressure which then turns the

rudder which then turns the entire ship and the not the person who invented

this but the person that made it famous is Buck Mosher Fuller and on his

tombstone it says call me trim tab I want to spend my whole life being the

trim tab of causes that matter how much of my time am I spending pushing

the front of the boat how much of my time am I spending doing leveraged rudder

activity and how much of my time is going towards and my focus and energy is

going towards those trim tab things those little tiny things that are almost

effortless that move the entire organization that change generations for my

family in Scotts family they say faith family fish and fish means fun

adventure integrity service and heavenly work his three-year-old has it

memorized you'll hear them in the pickup land of school what do we stand for

fun adventure in in Gregory because they can even say it right yet service

heavenly work and they they'll tell you about their day through the lens of

those values you know how many companies where you ask the staff what the

values are they can't remember it in Scotts family a three-year-old knows it why

because he the trim tab is that it's an acronym that's easy to remember so

it can get lived out daily so if you don't have trim tabs life gets really

really really hard if you create some trim tabs around what are the incentive

structures in our home do our kids just get paid for everything do we just

give them all of the freedoms you you get a later bedtime because you got a

year older do you just get every upgrade there is do they just get money for

free they call it allowance and it's socialism right every experience they

get all the stuff if if the only way kids get things in your home is by asking

you then they're gonna learn capabilities the capabilities are gonna be how

do I pit mom and dad against each other capabilities are gonna be how do I beg

for things instead of saying can I have this what if your kids came to you and

say what do I need to do to earn this here's three ideas that I have when your

child asks you that everything else is easier that's a trim tab so

essentially what we're trying to do is just take all of these things we've

learned from the top families in the world turn them into trim tabs and give

them two parents we're not looking for information we're looking for

transformation what's the least amount you can do to get the most amount of

impact in the area that is meaningful to you because that's the way we win

the one family parents are exhausted they're tired they're working more than

ever and so it's so so important that they we find things that make today

easier and that build stronger generations most of the strategies out there do

one or the other very few of them do both so good Jimmy what I hear you know

to frame it up and kind of tie it all together we're gonna have to have you

back on if you'd like to be because there's so much good information that you're

sharing here is this reality that the four C's and all these things that tie to

it the four C's just help us have some trim tabs to frame things you know and

to keep things moving in the right direction and where leverage starts

creating more impact because the framework's there you know as the boat gets

bigger it can turn more efficiently because the trim tabs are set and correct so

you know here's what I know often for Brock and for Nate and I and all the

people that we interact with whether it's their faith their family their

fitness their finances what they're really needing is how do I work from the

inside out not from the outside in but they're solving problems from the outside

in instead of slowing down enough to go what are the problems that have

solutions from the inside out so you don't have to stay stuck here there are ways

to get access to coaches and to mindsets and to behavior that start pushing you

along and Jimmy we could have a whole episode I don't even think I scratched the

surface of what you guys are offering that I could apply my life but I took

what I could when I could where I could lean out again to apply it and now my

daughter comes up to me for things like this hey that I know summer's coming up

and I know I am not expecting you to pay for all my summer clothes that I want

but do you think it'd be possible if I did this this and this and we met in the

middle on a few of these things because of X-Windsey hmm I'm like how do I say

no to that Jimmy that's what I teach our clients to do every day it's to

lay gratification it's how do you prioritize what's most important what's next

most important and build a framework around that so those just came from

little bitty additions of trim tabs to the rudder because we know we want to be a

family known for wisdom energy accountability love time and health that's our

word for wealth that's our acronym we know that ties the scripture we know

that ties to being good stewards of what God's given us I get to live that out

indirectly directly with Brock a lot because he's been raised that way we say

often we don't shy away from Jesus as the center of everything that we do

because it's only because of him that we can do it so we have guests on when

we're ashamed of that we are proud of that that is something we want to be

known for and in fact I thought about two trim tabs for life loves the Lord

you got with our hearts all in mind and love others to keep those trim tabs on

the direction your life's going it makes a lot of things way simpler and not

overcomplicated so Jimmy you're fig and eagle but there's a there's a way to find

you guys and it probably helpful for people to understand that and know what

they're looking for and how it all ties together would you tell everybody that?

Yeah absolutely so our program is called mentor family our company is fig and

eagle and there's a long story behind it with a lot of God in it but the

bottom line is that the eagle represents strong wings and the fig tree represents

deep roots some of the wild the fig trees actually have roots that go deeper than

the Eiffel Tower goes up their roots go down so we want really strong roots with

our children and really strong wings with our children if you raise them up

with with wings they'll go off and you know do amazing things and start

businesses and charities and change the world but they don't come home for

Christmas and you don't see my Thanksgiving and if you give them roots and not

wings then you've got the 35-year-old living at home playing Xbox all day

they and it's not about a judgment on them it's that they have never had a

chance to practice on a five-dollar problems and now they have five thousand

dollar problems and that's paralyzing so we want kids with both roots and

wings so fig and eagle roots and wings so fig and eagle dot com is where you can

go there's a case study there with some of the top 100 families and some really

tactical things you can do whether you've got kids or teens or kids with special

needs it doesn't matter if you're a parent you know a grandparent all of the

principles again their life principles people principles and so that's where

you can go to get a free download we also do trainings all the time we've got one

coming up on the AI era we barely talked about that today but kids need massively

different skills and it's not about learning a different AI tool and it's not

about you know finding which college I should go to for which job is going to be

here in five years it's a bigger problem it's a deeper problem our kids need to

figure out what how to live in a hyper adaptable world that's the skill that

they're gonna have to learn and they're gonna have to learn how to add value

and if they do that then no matter what changes come their way they're going to

be in great position that's the trim tab so yeah you can find all of that there

and again we're on a mission take back the family we can't do it without you we

need 10,000 Brandon's when you say that we're not there we don't have it all

bro you are going in such an amazing direction I love what your family's doing

and it's only been a few months for you I wish I learned this stuff 10 years

ago but the you know best time to play the tree was 10 years ago and the next

best time is right now so I love what you're doing and the impact that you're

making and the impact the show is making and we just want more families like you

that apply this to their family and then share the message with other families

that they love around them because that's you know the call of every great

family is to is to do that so thanks for having me here man it's been so good

Brock and Brandon talking to you guys been a blast I'm gonna end this with this

anti-fragile families businesses mindsets behaviors relationships don't

happen by accident they happen by taking action in their built on purpose so

Jimmy thanks for sharing one little bitty piece of what you are doing in

Fig and Eagle and the mentor family we'll definitely have you back on again if

you'd be so gracious and I think the AI angle maybe the next one if you're up

for that because I think that is something that's pressing on how does this

tool turn into something that can bring value to our family and not be

something we run and hide from and how does it make us more anti-fragile instead of

less until the next time we appreciate everybody sharing your greatest asset of

time with us we consider the privilege to get to hit record on things we

were to talk about anyway and we appreciate you