S9 E34: Caiti - IVF, Miscarriage and advocating for yourself

In this episode, we chat with the brilliant and brave Caiti, who takes us through the emotional chaos that is pregnancy, miscarriage, and trying again when life has already knocked the wind out of you. She talks about falling pregnant for the first time - the excitement, the dreams, the absolute gut-punch heartbreak of losing her son, Miles - and the way grief seeped into every corner of her life, including her relationship with her wife.

Caiti opens up about the complicated dance of navigating grief as a same-sex couple, where both partners are hurting but not always in the same way, at the same time, or with the same intensity. She speaks honestly about the guilt, the questioning, the feeling of her body having somehow betrayed her, and the loneliness that can creep in even when you're surrounded by love.

We also dive into the world of IVF - the needles, the hormones, the hope, the fear, the spreadsheets of appointments, and the emotional whiplash of trying to plan for a future when you're still carrying the weight of a past loss. And because this is TWGGEF, we talk about the absolutely essential act of advocating for yourself in a healthcare system that doesn’t always get it, especially when it comes to pregnancy loss and same sex families.

As always, the conversation circles back to community - the people, the spaces, the podcasts (hello there) that make this nightmare ride a little less isolating. Caiti’s courage in sharing her story reminds us that breaking the silence breaks the stigma, and that speaking our truths helps someone else feel less alone.

Key Takeaways

• Caiti’s first pregnancy began smoothly, making the loss even more devastating.
• Miscarriage can trigger crushing guilt and feelings of not being “enough”.
• Grief looks different for every partner, and that mismatch can be incredibly hard.
• Advocating for yourself in the healthcare system is essential, especially after trauma.
• Open, honest communication is vital for surviving impossible moments in relationships.
• Pregnancy loss can be profoundly isolating, even with a strong support system.
• Community spaces and resources - including podcasts - can bring comfort and connection.
• IVF is a complex, emotional rollercoaster, but it also offers genuine hope.
• Medical environments need far more sensitivity and awareness around pregnancy loss.
• Sharing her story has helped Caiti feel connected, supported, and part of a wider healing community.

We are The Worst Girl Gang Ever Foundation. We’re all about bringing people together who are going through the tough stuff — baby loss, infertility, and everything in between — and making sure no one has to face it alone. Our community is full of honesty, compassion, and real talk, offering support, understanding, and hope when it’s needed most. You can find out more and connect with us over at www.theworstgirlgangever.co.uk