Salmon & Kip-Ups

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They want to gut the Voting Rights Act,

erase black history, and eliminate diversity programs,

all while redrawing congressional maps

without voter input to rig the November elections.

Say you're not backing down, and neither can we, paid for by Virginians for fair elections.

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Again.

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And now, the bonfire with Big J. Olkerson and Robert Kelly.

You can hear the people hear me.

Yes, but they hear me.

You can hear me.

This is not a warning.

I'd like you to be turned up a little more, Jay.

Me?

Why don't we say this when we were fucking?

Well, we did, but...

Check, check.

Is that better?

And called it a farce and left early.

Check, check.

Who called it a farce?

You said let Kiwi stop this farce.

I am the big friend.

We're alive right now on Sirius XM.

Oh, man.

We got to keep Bobby.

We got to keep Bobby away from his house.

I'm controlling Bobby.

Bob Tron 2000.

It's the bonfire, everybody.

It's...

We're coming in.

We're coming in from our respective homes.

It is the great Blizzard of 2026 is here.

I'm ready, dude.

Are you ready to fucking...

Are you ready to head to the woods together, dude?

Are you ready to do it yet?

I don't need to satellite dish out there.

I found out.

You know what I found out, Jay?

What?

They have a Sirius XM studio in Vegas at the win.

Yeah?

At the win, dude.

Yeah, it's a...

It's a see-through.

It's like a fishbowl.

We should do January, February.

We get sweets at the wind.

Wind, not the wind.

I was just watching some Indian television show called Dark Wind.

I think it's called...

We do that.

January, February, me and you.

We get suits.

We go out there.

And we just rock Vegas for two months without the fam.

I hate Vegas, though.

I know.

But we can make it what...

We can make Vegas what we want it to be.

We could.

Yeah, dude.

We become high rollers or medium rollers.

We can have some...

We just hook up with high...

Like, you know, we'll just hang out with famous people.

Vegas Famous?

Not, you know.

Vegas.

Oh, yeah.

The guys...

This guy's won like the most money in three-card poker ever.

Yeah, some Asian with like nine rings, nine-world Siri rings.

How many inches do you get, Bobby?

Dude, we got...

We got two feet.

Yeah, I think we got close.

We got two feet, maybe a little over.

It was...

It was...

So daunting.

You know, last time on that last one, I went out and shoveled

in the middle of the night or whenever at night.

I shoveled.

And then I shoveled again the next day.

And then I shoveled again.

So I made it, you know, I shoveled three times.

But it was easy.

I was like, nah, I'll just...

I'm gonna wait it out.

For some reason, I didn't believe them.

Because they said...

Well, I took a while to start.

It started way later than they said.

And it didn't stick for like the first four hours of snowing.

So you were like, oh, this is nothing.

Then when the temperature dropped, it was immediate.

But it was...

Like, we were up in the Hampshire Thursday Friday Saturday.

We got a snow storm up there.

Which was fine.

That's what you want.

Max was snowboarding.

Me and Dawn were two old people farting around town,

having, you know, splitting a sandwich in a soup.

You're here at your Kelly Clarkson in the fishbow

announced that she's getting divorced.

That's great.

Yeah, I know.

So that's what it wasn't the time, dude.

She's getting divorced like she's looking now.

Yeah, but if I was there,

and I discussed this with Dawn,

and she'd agree with me.

Okay.

If I was there, it just wasn't the time.

She's still too close to it.

I got to have some air.

Let her have some air.

Let her get out on the market.

And Jacob, what are you laughing at?

Do we have to say, legally,

she did not hear that she's getting an anyway divorced

from her husband or if she has a husband, even.

I don't know.

I think he passed away, guy.

Nice.

Then you do have a shot.

Did he die, Jacob?

I think he passed away.

I don't know.

Her ex passed away or something.

Something happened.

Take a look.

Who's our researcher, Christine?

Christine.

What do you think?

Because you're in a fucking Walls Vegas port.

Nobody can hear you.

Dip.

You get your mic off.

I can't call your names because I love you.

But Jay, call her a name for me.

Say the sentence.

And I'll say the end.

You got them.

Fuck face.

Get the fucking thing up right now.

You.

Dip shit.

Hurry up, you fucking.

Godless piece of shit.

Am I jumping?

I may be jumping.

She does not have a current husband.

She was married to a guy.

Then they got divorced.

And then he died.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

She has two kids.

Okay.

Which I'm great with kids.

I love kids.

Fantastic with kids.

I'm probably going to need you to completely turn your back on Max and Dawn.

But I'll be honest with you.

You've done a good job with that already.

So I say it's time.

I think Dawn's done with me.

Yeah.

I think she would not be.

It would be probably done.

What's that?

How great would that be?

If she was done with you.

Yeah.

She.

Oh, she.

I just met the whole weekend with her.

And we.

Well, she just left me on the couch every night.

Yeah.

She taught me in like a grandfather on the couch.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

And crawled up to the bed by herself.

You're 70 years old, dude.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I told her I shoveled.

I have a driver.

I have two huge drivers up in the Hampshire.

And I said, uh, I shoveled the whole thing by myself.

I just went out and shoveled it.

You know, and I walked in.

I just shoveled the whole driveway by myself with a shovel.

Will you touch my ding-ding?

She goes, I'd rather walk through three feet of snow.

Did she say that?

Yeah.

Oh.

Well, I don't know.

It's me.

You know what it's bad when Jacob feels something.

Come on.

Come on.

Damn.

Three feet of snow.

So what are you going to do?

If you were independently wealthy, you could buy the house next door.

I wouldn't even buy the house next door.

I'd walk away.

I'd just get a fund from Max.

Be like, dude, I got you.

Come see me in Vegas.

I'm there.

This is the February with Jenny.

And then I was there with Jay in the fucking batch pad.

Yeah, the batch.

Oh, dude.

Let me think about that.

We just get a suite together.

Fuck.

Forget about the two rooms.

We get some type of wind suite.

Yeah.

A two bedroom apartment.

Two bedroom apartment.

But we got to be in the wind because I want to be when we walk into the valet.

Jay Bobby.

You know, we slip him a little bit of something.

Of course, you don't slip him anything because you'd be dropping the way you tip.

We'd be out of money by the fucking first month.

I don't know what to give people.

I give them the value of what it would take for me to do it.

Yeah, be $3,000.

Isn't what I didn't give anybody $3,000.

Well, here's the thing.

Jay, we had the big snow storm, the blizzard of 26.

And it dumped two feet of snow everywhere.

It was terrible.

But not only was it snow, the bottom was wet.

The top was light.

It was, it was shit snow to shovel.

And so I went out today with my, myself and started shoveling.

It just came out.

Then don came out.

We did all the shoveling together.

We shoveled.

I have a whole system.

I do one side.

I get it over to the other.

I clean off the end of the driveway.

I put the cars back there.

Then I do the other, the top of the driveway.

Then I take the cars out into the street.

I clean all the cars off.

And then I pull them all back in.

Right?

It took around three and a half, four hours to do.

Mother fuck.

Jay.

You.

Have a, I mean, the top of the line snowblower that doesn't work on your patio or your rock or your, whatever they are.

The brick.

The brick.

You hired somebody to come to your driveway.

driveway outback.

And all the walkways, yeah.

And they did it.

And then you tip them.

You paid them their feet.

Well, I don't know what their feet is.

They're getting paid their feet.

What a company's getting paid their feet.

These are three young dudes.

Well, the company gets a fee, but they pay them through that fee.

They get a percentage.

It's like a massage powder, you know?

Sure.

They get a percentage of that 70 bucks if I knew it was 70 dollars to get one of those.

There's no way it was 70 dollars.

It's more than that.

Substantially more.

President Barack Obama.

Virginia, we are counting on you.

Republicans want to steal enough seats in Congress to raid the next election and wield unchecked power for two more years.

But you can stop them by voting yes by April 21st.

Help put our elections back on a level playing field and let voters decide not politicians.

Vote yes by April 21st.

Paid for by Virginians for fair elections.

Tyler Reddick here from 2311 Racing.

Another checkered flag for the books.

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Can I just ask how much it was to get everything done just for the fee?

Well, I think it was because I think the money changes also because it was two feet of snow.

I think it was like four something, four hundred something.

Which I will pay to have that done without having to go out there and do that with myself.

I'm going to take all this back because I shoveled today.

Yeah.

And four or something dollars.

Sounds about right.

Just about right.

Sounds about right.

Dude, it sounds about right.

I came in.

I felt like I just went to Vietnam.

And I was coming home.

Exhausted.

We're in Long Johns.

Fucking shoes are wet.

Dude, I had long job.

I had to take everything off.

Everything was wet.

My bones.

My hips hurt.

I don't know why my hips hurt.

Could you throw in your fucking hips until it, dude?

Oh, God.

And I felt bad because my neighbors to the right, they're a little older.

And they just had shovels.

And I had my electric shovels.

You thought it was going to cost a lot more than it did.

You realize now how reasonably good an idea it was to do that.

The fee is great.

But the tip you gave is.

You could have been cheap.

It's not cheap.

I wouldn't have been cheap.

I'm never cheap.

Don't ever say I'm cheap.

I'm a big tipper.

I'm an awesome tipper.

You're what they call.

You're a nervous tipper.

Sure.

That's fair.

You're a nervous tipper.

You don't, you're like, aha, here.

Just take it all.

You made me feel like I'm over generous, too, when, uh, you get me.

You're right.

You're my, you got to be my gym, my frugal, gym, any cricket, dude.

When you were like, I forget it was you were setting up guys to go on the road with you.

And you were like, yeah, you'll meet him.

He's a good guy.

You'll drive up there together.

And then you'll share a room all week.

And like, damn, Bobby's figured it out.

Everybody I bring has their own room.

Well, out of my pocket, I think most of it.

You're out of your mind, dude.

Part of being an, uh, um, MC or an opener or feature with somebody who's like your caliber is, uh, you know, you share a room.

Oh, yeah.

Sure.

I did.

I did plenty of times.

Plenty of times.

That's the fun part.

You share the room.

The problem is Jay's not going to make Dylan and Mike share a room.

Yeah.

Like friends.

Mike.

Oh, you can't.

Oh, no, you can't do that to Mike.

No, no, no, no.

Peace.

I mean, anyway.

But it would be a whole nightmare.

Well, you should, you should just put a camera there and record that.

It would be funny.

Oh my God.

That'd be great.

But yeah, dude, I can't.

I can't.

Josh and Dylan.

Oh, Josh and Josh and Mike.

Josh and Mike.

Josh and Mike.

That just wouldn't happen.

That just wouldn't even happen.

Mike would.

Mike would sleep in a car first.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, you can't.

You get nervous.

You should make a phone call.

All you have to do is chat GPT.

Hey, I had them shovel.

How much should I tip them?

It will tell you.

I did what felt right, man.

Dude.

Jesus.

I did what felt right.

Just call me in lieu next time.

We're going to come over to your house.

We're going to shovel for you.

Okay.

All right.

It's going to suck for you now that I know that I've overtipped.

So.

No, no, no, no.

Hey, chat GPT.

What should I pay Bobby and Black Lou to shovel my place?

And what would be a fair tip for such price?

No, I do want in on this.

You take three.

You took three.

You took three.

I got to break it up three ways.

Oh, you said that's what you took.

That's what you tipped today.

Three people.

Yeah, yeah.

But Bobby's told me that was outlandish what I've done.

It's all fun.

70% tip.

It's crazy.

Bobby, I thank you for telling me that I've overpaid and overtipped.

I will be paying you and Black Lou.

And now it appears Jacob.

Oh, no.

I hear a wage.

All right.

Listen.

What are you saying?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

What.

I'm saying.

No, no, no, no.

What I'm saying is that he says to rate the fridge.

I'm like, yo, beers, white claws, whatever you want to have At.

That.

They only have to do.

They only have to do your house next snow storm.

That you cross just still open.

They could have robbed me blind.

I have no idea.

I just gave them money to rob me blind.

The toilet cams in.

They're probably watching me take shits now.

Did you guys toilet cam me?

We were never in your house.

Now, you guys are toilet cam me.

I'm gonna give you a show. I'll give you a show. Take that toilet cam. I don't know how

they did it, but they did it. I had a fart button. I couldn't get to a quick enough.

You cracked this on the internet this morning. Yeah. You know, it makes me happy that you

guys follow me because there's so many friends of mine that never, I mean, you never like

what I do, which bugs me. I mean, I like all your stuff. Anytime I see something of you,

I'm just like like it. Boom. Let me tell you who that never comes back to me. I don't look.

I don't look at those things. And by the way, when I see your thing, I just see it and I move on

like everything else that's put in front of me. I don't, I don't like anything.

Okay. I mean, I'm not saying that I don't enjoy it. I'm saying I don't push the buttons. In fact,

when I've accidentally just because I'm scrolling and the page stops and like you,

you hit something and you do like it, I don't know if they see this. I then unlike it.

You unlike my stuff? No, no, if I've like hit it and it, yes, if it liked your thing,

because then I feel like I'm setting a precedent that I like things. And then people start doing

what you're doing is complaining that I'm not liking their things. Well, if you like,

if you want to say when I like your stuff, my people go to your stuff.

And if you like my stuff, you are people come to my stuff. Like if we, that's how the algorithm

works. It feeds it. Because I don't mean, I mean, are you right about that? I don't know. I just

said it. I didn't think. Oh, you might be right. If you're right about that, I would think more.

If that's the real thing, Bobby, I would think more to like your things when I see them.

Well, here's the thing because I get nervous for you because it helps you. I will, I will

click the thing. I don't want you to help me. I want you to like, if you like it, I want you

to like it. I don't want you to press your zone like I'm a fucking handicap. Yeah, but now the

pressure is on. So I watch the thing and I go, that was all right. Now, now, now, I have to like

it or else you're going to go, oh, I don't, I genuinely don't think it's good. No, listen,

we have a lot of side conversations about people's internet on their social media, right? No,

shit. I got to mute fucking people. I hate the internet. I mean, that's the internet. I hate

social media so much. I meet a lot of people. I hate what it shows me. I hate what it shows me.

I'm like, oh, my God. I know it. Dude, I saw some stuff this weekend that was in fear like

almost ruining my weekend. Oh, you realize you've become friends with someone with a personality

that you've always just made fun of? Yeah. Yeah. I thought I got away from all those people

with my life. No, but apparently I have it. No, no, no, no. Now, the fart, may I say this, the

fart in my video was for you. Was it? Well, think about it. It would do this little thing. I'm waking

up. I'm going, you know, because I'm an influencer and I'm going out and wow, look at the snow,

right? Oh, my God. It's a lot of snow. And then the fart was the little cute part for you.

There she is. Little funny part. Yeah. And then I wrote, I wrote, I wrote on the screen.

I wrote on the screen. That was for you. I appreciate it. It worked. I thought it was, I did think

it was funny, but I also said I get to give me again, I'm not a good friend. I'm not against,

I'm not against, I am a good friend. I'm not against, I'm not against.

Perfect. I do. I'm kidding. You're the one of the greatest friends of all time. I don't know

if you're going to get a nose going to hit a cord. Fucking sensitive snow, Jay.

Christine's out around your all alone in the house. You're hanging out with Mexicans all day.

Yeah, but I'm going to crush Whitehall until I fall asleep. I'm just going to go for it.

You are a great friend. You are a great friend. It would just be nice to every once in a while

to see a big J.O.G.S.N. thumbs up or a heart. You know, I mean, it's almost like winning a

social award. My heart. Yeah. I'm in a hearty. You win a hearty. I want a hearty. I want a

Jay hearty. This is so genuine. I get to love. I'm so fascinated by Bobby the influencer.

I'm fascinated by his video. The first person in my life who's

complaining about this thing, I got to tell you, I genuinely, I don't understand social media. I

just still don't get it. I don't understand the fact. I understand putting out a product

and helping people enjoy it. I understand you put out a special or clips even and you want to see

what it's doing if people are enjoying your work and stuff like that. The day-to-day stuff,

I don't get personally, but I understand that I'm a minority in that. Most people do put up

like their daily goings-on and here's what I'm eating for dinner and look at this steak. I just

crushed and holy shit I'm driving by this mountain. That's Bobby. I don't live like that. I get that

for sure, but it's like it's just not my instinct at all to do that. And so it just,

it's what I said before. I wouldn't even know. It's me hardening your thing, make it better for you.

I treat it so like it has to be done. People try to contact me directly if I get to the messages

and stuff like I do try to like get back and stuff and write little things if I can. I can't get

to everybody obviously, but like I try to make that as personal as possible, but like you know

when my clips go up, dude, that's Dylan putting up my clips and then just like leaving it there is

you could enjoy it. I do enjoy it. The engagement of the engagement of the thing, I just,

uh, I never like I said, but again, that's me. I know like before like I'd be so doing probably

better on social media if I was like, look at this fight I'm watching. Look at these two bombs

just started fighting and they're fighting in the middle of the street. It's just my instinct is

to go, I'm like recording it with my brain because I can go, all right, I got 75 hours of broadcast

to me this weekend. So this will be something I can talk about the bomb fight. Maybe get a picture

so people have an idea, but I'd almost rather like relay it. You get such access with Bobby.

Part of the family. He takes you to his world. You think you know, but you have no idea, dude.

Truth is, this is a diary of Bobby Kelly. I'm fascinated because it's, it would be horrifying to me

that allow anyone that much access. Yeah, but he's in his home living is, you're living with

your video. President Barack Obama. Virginia, we are counting on you. Republicans want to steal

enough seats in Congress to raid the next election and wield unchecked power for two more years,

but you can stop them by voting yes by April 21st. Help put our elections back on a level playing

field and let voters decide not politicians. Vote yes by April 21st. Paid for by Virginians for

fair elections. Tyler Reddick here from 2311 Racing. Another checkered flag for the books.

Time to celebrate with Jamba. Jump in at JambaCasino.com. Let's Jamba. No purchase necessary.

VTW Group. Boy, we're prohibited by mall CTC and C21 Plus sponsored by Jamba Casino. Hi, I'm cooking

salmon again. Yeah, yeah. No, I wouldn't be a farmer for sure. I could do pull ups,

Kip ups. You could, you could, you could kick up into cooking salmon, which is pretty dope.

Sure. I would say that could probably catch on if I'm being honest. You know what, trademark.

I'm hobo trade. You can't have it. If you do it now, I get a part of it.

If you, if you, if you kept up, keep up every time and then made salmon, you would be the

Kip up Samagai and you have millions of followers, millions of followers, but you also,

but you owe me, but you owe me a piece of that now because ice is my idea, though. So do you

just know that? And any, I'll accept any kind of motion into cooking salmon. I will stay as a

derivative of the idea. I might seem. I would have to take a little piece of that. Jacob,

I will, I will rip you apart in court. Just don't understand that. Listen, we're going to go

back to our regular conversation about being friends in a second, but I will fuck you in court

for months and months, maybe years. So play the game or don't. Bobby. I'm just saying that I

came up with the idea. So I feel like I should have not as much as a percent as you, but a little

bit of a percent because I said cooking salmon as an influencer. I gave him an influencer. Oh,

you see big mouth. You see big mouth, Jacob? Bobby wants a taste. You happy? And I'm going to use

Jay's lawyer. So you're fucked. Oh my God. Dude, this guy is litigious out the dick hole. He is,

he can't wait to fucking jam you up in court. Oh, man, you're so fucked. I'm pretty sure Jay has

a collar and a leash on him to hold him back. I do. That's how fucking he is. That's fucking.

He had to have Caesar Le Mans, whatever the fuck the guy sees that. What's the mark of the name?

I almost said Le Mans. That's that's pregnant pussy stuff, right? It's pregnant pussy stuff,

yeah. That's pretty pretty stuff. That's one. When you're a pussy, you go with your wife to do that.

I'm just saying that we go with your wife to do learn how to breathe. I think we took,

did you take, did you do any of that stuff? The, the, the, the doula and all that. Not the

doula. I think they make, I think they made us like, might have even been for insurance or

something. We had to go to like a class of like the breathing thing. I think we went and was like,

there's an out of like, you know, like we'll see you guys next week. And we're like, yeah, sure.

Don't unhired as doula. Don't hire a, how to doula for the house. And I showed him,

uh, she, it was a, a black chick smoking hot. I mean, fucking ridiculously hot. And I remember I showed

up your wife's pussy's belt to blow. Yeah. She was doing Santa real of a dunes pussy.

She was burning her pubes. No, she was smoking hot. And we were sitting there when she had

all her stuff laid out in the table. And I sat down and then, uh, she had a stutter. We didn't know

it. Nice. She went, uh, okay, the first thing we have to, I have to, I want to,

ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta. I mean, Donald just laughed in her face.

We didn't know she had a stutter, dude. It was fucking wild. And then she took

on on the couch, and uh, she, the relaxing breath says, look, that's jarring every time you hear.

It's terrible. Now hold her, now hold her, now hold her, now hold her, now hold her, uh, hand.

And she put on on the couch to, you know, on all floors and she goes, okay, now I'm going

to get behind her and this is the position you're going to be in and she was just rubbing

her ass.

I was just standing in front of Don, like with my penis in front of her mouth.

I was looking down at Don, like, is this what you want?

Is this a...

Yeah, yeah, I was like, is this a thing like, you got the right booty for fucking

there, Don.

Yeah, I didn't do any of that shit when she gave birth either.

I almost threw up disgusting breathing shit either.

No.

I panicked.

I remember the nurse kicked me out.

She was like, she's like, she pushed her way.

Tell her she's going to be all right.

I was like, you're going to be all right.

I don't know.

I just sat there and stared at Carlos Cooch until it was blasted to smithereens.

So gross.

That's when you say the word bloom.

That's what I think of just a head blooming out of a vagina.

Oh.

It looks like an eye socket without the eye afterwards.

It does.

It looks like a whale eye without the eye.

You can see the back of it.

You can see the back of a cave.

It's so bad.

It's so bad.

Men should never have to fucking see that.

They told me.

They told me almost not to watch it.

And I was like, I'm watching.

And then I was like, I was like, this marriage is over, probably.

That's the exact same thing I was like, fuck you, I'm watching.

Yeah.

This marriage is going to end one day, brother.

It's true, man.

I have to see in that.

Maybe a long time you get that visual out of my head.

Oh.

Gross.

I remember Don pooped.

I was like, what?

I was like, what's that?

What's that?

What's that?

I thought it was like a twin brother, shit, not of her ass all of a sudden.

Oh, my God.

You thought you had a black baby?

You racist.

You were ready to yell at her.

Yeah.

Do some people not poop when they give birth?

What?

I don't know.

I think a bunch of people don't poop when they give birth.

Yeah.

It's like when you go in for surgery, they say don't, they tell you not to eat or drink

for 12 hours.

So you don't shit yourself in the dentist.

Yeah.

When you go in the labor, though, you can't really control that.

But I don't think, look at it.

Look it up.

You have a computer for you, man.

You get out of that.

You see, it's out of that CSXM studio.

She's using everything.

She's just looking anything up anymore.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She gets comfortable and she's in a kitchen.

Just sitting back on a kitchen.

You God, damn.

It is extremely common.

It's extremely common.

What?

It's extremely common and perfectly normal.

Bobby called you a coxucker.

It was you.

I know your voice.

No, no, no, I said it for Bobby.

I can't say it.

I can't call you a stupid dumb bitch Jesus Christ, you are dumb bitch.

Yeah, I would love every once in a while to look you right in your face when you're judging

me and go, you know what?

You want to just TWA teach what?

Stop looking at me with those fucking.

I met up with my aunt the other day.

She goes, I just don't like the way he talks to you on that show.

I say, are you she's he joking?

Did you do the main thing in motion?

I'm like, he's fucking around.

You can think me out to sound like a real fucking scummy slob.

Scummy slob.

That was just a bad day.

That doesn't happen all the time.

What?

That you make her out to feel like a scummy slob.

No, no, no.

But that day, I for sure probably was.

I love how great me and you look.

I know.

Christine, do you ask your aunt to help you escape?

I need help.

Just need help getting away.

Christine, where are you?

I'm in torrents.

Look, she in California, can't you tell about all this dealer stuff on the wall?

His torrents like, you know, a lot of low riders and stuff.

Some?

Yes.

Some parts.

Did they think you're a, do they think you're a fucking essay?

I think you're one of those Spanish ladies that dance like just dance in a seven to eleven

parking lot?

Brings Mc Runk, rings Co.

Rinks, rinks, rinks, rinks.

True.

Christine put on a flannel and button it up top.

She could've fucking go out in chola if she wanted to.

Roll, Christine, show us some moves.

This is a thing Chinese guy.

What, a fucking C.

Body, oh.

Done.

Good.

Mother of context.

Man of the fuck does she have EG?

Yes, it says right here you should've tipped $40.

Would be?

would be a generous tip on a $450 bill 40 40 to 70 total total if you're given

the on a crew split amongst the crew I should have gone 40 a piece yeah 40 a

piece would have been holy shit this guy let me tell you something let me tell

you something the black gentleman who I hand the money to really had like a

whoa whoa man yeah and can I tell you something that was worth it you know what

dude it is worth it when you get that oh man you just changed my life yeah I

can I can buy that color I wound right now now I assume he's gonna use it for

studio time but look it's one step closer realizing his career of being a hip

hop legend what if I just helped the next Kanye West what if I just are the

Nazi revolution I also know we had the money from the sale of the

gym equipment it was hundreds so I also need didn't have change and that was

part of the decision oh yeah yeah I don't think there might have been a few

twanzos in there but yeah you know the forecast will say dry and it'll

lash you know the bus will be late again you know that first coffee in the

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oh god but don't worry they told me they told me on Instagram after I got a

couple form letters back they did say that they've now forwarded my thing over to

the whatever you always keep saying I forget the words like the proper

department oh yeah you just keep saying the relevant the relevant department

that he said now my information over the relevant department and should be

shipped out very shortly with no information which by the way my my fear was

like this thing is going to pop up like I thought like yesterday and I couldn't

get it inside before the storm happened there's no way it hasn't yet or I

thought I wasn't going to be able to get home that's what I said I would come

home to like a rusted out fucking thing well comes it comes in a like a wooden

box you have to unscrew like you have to own a drill to take it out of the

shipping container comes in no yeah I've watched videos on people assembling

them no make sense that's what the handyman does he takes a box no yeah yeah I

watched I watched the cut like what because I wanted to see if I had to hire

somebody if I could just do it myself and you look up look it up major fitness

b 52 yeah look it up you set up J.M. I'm gonna get you

not looking up dipshit yeah my pull-up bar Jacob your artwork is that of an old

woman oh yeah it's all you need man wedge it between the door frame yeah you

think yeah you know yeah you're gonna help me out when I fucking push my

tailbone through my brain when that thing just slides right down the door J.M. when

I wait on it no I've tested it all that field mice Jacob

or a hundred down test so your way it's not going to hold me or J.M. we're

going to pay for a whole new door jam it'll hold both of you no you don't know how

door jams work I'm gonna wind up I'm gonna wind up on the Mexican

table underneath you they can't they can't put a a number that isn't right

I can't exaggerate and then you know they can't they can't you want a bet

well it works fine for me Bobby it comes just like I thought in a bunch of

boxes with those fucking those strap things that you have to cut and it blast

apart what's up hydropham so I promise you don't need screws or a drill oh

maybe maybe I was looking at the new one you were watching Operation Dumbo

Drop that was an elephant dude you have to have it screwed in I swear to god the

ones I was watching they do have like a buddy I swear to god the ones I was

watching what came in a wooden box and the dude was on screw in it type in

build major fitness b 52 prosomest machine this guy just this guy just called

you part of the hydropham but call it unboxing right no major fitness b 52

unboxing here we go all right still keeps coming up same thing I just said

I know we're trying to find another one prove Bobby right

uh do we need this right now type in the new one the what's the new one Jay

the b 17 the new b 17

all right you know Bobby I'll be honest with you that was her being a little

country and Jay you know what I expect it out of this

that was a little country is it this insertion video I mean that's the thing for sure

too tall little too tall but there's not an unboxing of it building let's see

hmm because it's fucking bullshit he's right he's right

we think the picture of my Jacob's couch are damn it lol all right I think all the way on

the left is Frank Sinatra's mug shot am I right

yeah Jacob has the apartment of a writer that was like a unsuccessful writer

I know they're bonfire posters like impermanent midnight over here

bonfire posting yeah that wasn't as far as I was hoping sorry sorry I've

cried is that a picture or the bomb you out with my

prides picture probably the third picture is Billy the kid the real Billy the

kid you and jelly roll there you go right there so I found somebody it's like

a piece of gym equipment that comes in a wood box

so do you understand her passive aggressiveness with the

a this fucking this fucking I thought the major it leaks it leaks of my uh

Wu Tang clan thing yeah well that Bobby you did need a drill to get into that one there was

a thing you have to drill a box to get into yeah but I want you to understand I was

arguing that there's things that will be delivered in life

I'm just saying they weren't sending me fucking missiles in a rocket launcher I

hope I hope it all comes in a fucking wooden box

I know the little crowbar with the pickaxe that shit

oh I bought a pickaxe what am I ever going to use it for I'm not to kill Christina

guys you bought a pickaxe I just did to get the ice sludge when I kept

slipping around my car because when I needed your side to driveway you got

uh you got a bang if you just use the weight of it you shouldn't use the spikes

on it you know fuck our all our brick and more than has oh Bobby I showed you

yesterday yeah so I was gonna cry this this winter has really fucking I mean

given a world-class Mick Foley-ish beat down on the undertaker beating Mick Foley

who's done to my house this winter it's fucking crazy yeah all stones breaking

crack the major stones part almost all of my steps unattached to this point

almost all my steps have no attachment to the other steps you are in tires like

the entire panel came up what's it called not panel I don't know it's like a long yeah like a

long slab it's like completely it's not in the ground I'm saying all the front steps aren't

connected anymore either so it's a win when you go down it might just fucking go full

can I ask you a question did this guy get all this work done before he sold the house

oh was this has this been there for a long time I don't know sometimes they tell you

uh it's brand new kitchen brand new yes you know bathrooms everything's been

the newest thing for sure so the backyard four or five years but the the the slate work out front

is that like oh we just got that done yeah oh dude I mean I'm sorry to say that every time

you buy a house that it it's it's always something yeah it's always something as soon as you

as soon as you get the house and you like dude we did everything where this is awesome

something I'm gonna fucking break I think if I sold now I'd make money Christina

move back to the fucking city show your fuck dude don't move back to the city dude come on you love

you love your things because she misses it she got the edge you can't move back to the city and if

you do move back to the city don't move to where you were that was too far away though I'd rather

go to your house in Wayne than that fucking wind tunnel I would never live on 57 street again

the war sure that was insane I'll never live on a two I'll never live on a two lane

New York road ever again never again it was like uh going into the uh the exercise bedroom

is just like 20 degrees colder the second you get on your block it was insane you're just slapped

with the fucking wind yeah but after this after this winter I can be talked back into the city

pretty easy I think yeah we just move into the city like with like buildings protecting your

street yeah yeah yeah I remember going to your house and parking in the parking lot and then

having to take a breath and pray to God before I stepped out onto that street and made that

five-second walk to the front door god forbid you have dope god forbid it was ringing it to open

on bro you might be taking out to see I mean it was punishing when it was the kind of wind you

could lean forward into sometimes and it would hold you up it was I want to just I want to let

fucking doodles just shit in the house and then the fight that win the go across the street to a

a movie theater where we were treated like absolute shit by people who were furious about their jobs

yeah you want to eat you had everything right around your apartment but you just you didn't want to

go to it that's like yeah the apartment too was like I'll be my thing about New York I'm like the

none of them are made good you're really paying for the location still and like the facade of

something that's nice but it ain't really nice now it's just like a regular hotel room

that apartment that I lived in yeah anything that was in it was like the floors weren't particularly

night nothing was nice it was just like clean and new-ish yeah that's it it was in the thing too

you have to go up down take a left yeah over some sky bridge yeah and then down that hallway

yeah and then you get there it was very easy potty training a puppy yeah that's you like a nightmare

in the maze and 27 floors oh you're just praying on the elevator she doesn't take a piss right

on the elevator I go back I do fucking first floor or bullet train the penthouse yeah my last

apartment in New York was first floor but you don't want that either because then you become the first

floor police anytime something happens somebody's boyfriend gets into a fight and they're banging

on the front door three in the morning I remember I went outside one that I heard just banging we

had this beautiful graded door it was a wood door it was all like rod iron grading beautiful

and I just hear three in the morning just banging on the front door I go outside and you could see

this this older gay gentleman should face screaming this guy's name and I went out and all the

grates were broken and I saw him hiding the grates in like the front grass by the tree and I went

out and I'm like what the fuck what the fuck are you doing you broke the door he's like I didn't

break the door I didn't break the door I go I see you hiding the fucking evidence he was just

hiding the evidence the broken door I was like this fucking blows you don't want the first floor

the apartment was complete ass I mean it was so bad but like a shithole of an apartment

but Christine's the apartment that I moved into there when we first moved in for those years

was like situationally ideal where was it it was like well situationally I mean obviously not like

you could have a big thing with a balcony but the outback of it was just the back of stores

that really no one was ever out in it was but it was also like grown over an ugly to look at the

window but and then like almost a moat like of like you know just like a space between not a moat

like a concrete moat essentially though it was like a space between the building and like where

anybody can get to it so it wasn't really dangerous either like the back windows like nobody can

really get to those back windows and they were covered in you know whatever the cages and shit

about New York garbage but like but it was back in the building you walking from the front of the

street on fifth street it was like down you don't know if you ever came there was down the hallway

at the end so it was just back to the building so you didn't hear any of like it wasn't a real like

sirens going all night plays by far more when we lived in the high rise building did I when you

open the windows you were opening yourself up to the sounds of the city yeah also on the west side

highway this year it's great honestly for an east village apartment it really wasn't that shitty

like we could fit Queens like it was pretty it was made of it was made of fucking wood paneling

it was so bad it was so bad it was so they gave us a hot plate at one point when they said

they get no gas for six months here's a hot plate well that building and then when and then when

you ask when you ask they went oh um they're like okay we'll take like a hundred dollars off

okay so they made you basically did you win camping physics months in New York City that's when

we just kind of started that's almost when we became habitual uh completely order because we were

still like uh you know not making money enough they're like we cooked a lot actually at one point

we were cooking I mean we only made like a handful of things but it was like once a week we made

like fish and then the stuffed peppers and then a pasta you know but we cooked a lot and then it

just became couldn't even do that so it was like uh we became complete order out people

and then my culinary skills dwindled I'd say what they did I made myself grow cheese last night

I'm making a stofers lasagna tonight we're done don't slave over last night she made a chicken corn

chowder yeah I mean it's one of my favorites it's on my Instagram if you want to see it yeah

it's on the story so you can post it with it hello it is Ryan and we could all use an extra bright spot

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this is mike voilo of lexicon valley and i'm bob garfield are you one of those people who

sometimes uses words do you communicate or acquire information with you know language hey us too

so join us on lexicon valley to true over the history culture and many mysteries of english

plus some life cracks find us on one of those apps where people listen to podcasts

did you do the thing where you go boy i sure i'm hungry and touch your hand of the screen and then

pull your hand back and all of a sudden they're super in front of you i'm an old school influencer

where i kind of just show the process and tell a story i don't do the they call that bells and

whistles i'm not really into the bells and whistles i appreciate that um do you pick out music

do you pick out music for the background of your thing i try to pick out yeah like i try to

pick out royalty free music i don't even i couldn't even guess how to possibly do that on instagram

whatever that's why i love i always love getting credit too i'll get i do get messages sometimes

better say things or a thing that just goes like uh dude i thought no one knows this fucking song

dude you fucking killed it with this and then i just like what i don't know what the fuck you're

talking about and just like i'm just talking about the background song of the clip that i didn't pick

all my songs uh uh you could actually hear when apple introduces a new product

those are the same songs do do do do do do do do do do do you'll eat it so people don't see you

so last night don't i mean she's cooking this thing it's it's one of the greatest

showers of all time i watch cooking yeah she's cooking like three hours it's on my instagram

and then max comes up and he goes Christine take the hit and bring up together

on instagram jesus christ she falls asleep when she's not in the studio i mean unbelievable she's just a

dumb sleepy twat but max comes up stairs he goes can you can you have jay make us the stromboli

don't i was like what i just made this coin chowder it's awesome because i want that stromboli

is there any way you can make just call jay and see how to make it did i say somebody yeah the grocery

stores open yeah i might run out i mean everything's shoveled and stuff now so i might run out

i mean okay we talking to throwing a stromboli bring a couple pieces in buddy it was so good i

didn't really have much stromboli last time it was it was just enough but i wish it was i wish we

got some to take up i'll play the music Christine oh this is going to make me a chowder

celery takes you into this world really good

yeah does she like being and had a better word for it used for your inner

and fodder well i very rarely will don i'm sorry that's bobby i know she's your wife she's your wife

she's not being used i choose the better word does she know she's being exploited it's more like

she's being cast we call it cast in the business no i don't really i don't want show don in my videos

i know very rarely i keep talking i said i keep saying a couple of friends of ours it like

you know even like Lewis and stuff like Dave doesn't do it but like Lewis like just like having

your kids like grow up on the like on their social media show i'm like all i would think about

all i think about is the people who have been like i mean irrationally

furious with me about like comedy stuff or something you know lunatics out there that have

said some crazy shit that i was just like i'd never want to be like all right drop in my daughter

off at school this is her school that's what i was i just really kept Isabella kind of off the

internet and still and still i don't think she like we don't cross over on the internet so much

anyway as far as like uh i'm not even connected to don't know anything like we don't i don't know

anything she does and she doesn't know anything i do really i don't know if i agree with that statement

i don't really put dawn on a lot of videos i don't i don't put i should i mean let me let me

clarify that can do me one quick favor because can you just sit up in your chair because when you

slouch it makes your face worse me oh you are sitting up i apologize um so i don't put her face

very really my perfect her voice might be in it but not her face

how about this she doesn't she doesn't have a star she doesn't have a starring role you know

say i'm saying okay she's the background actor in a lot of my i'll give you that one yes that's

right she's a background actor i pay her max is a featured player max is a recurring character

yeah she does not appear as much as much as i'll say that she's a day rate yeah you're 12

year old son definitely appears more oh he's a star i mean he's a star are you have you done this

like so i have my my photos hooked up to my tvs and all that shit and then when you don't want

when they when you pause your tv to check something or do something all your photos are stuck coming

up all of max's little photos are coming up when he was just this little mishball

thing and i i a photo came up with one of our parties my parties you were ever you were there

Christina was everybody was there Dave was there um this would be for Dave was with uh his wife

now i mean i can't the parties the parties i used to throw

was fucking epic like everybody was there

like as far as comics there's like 60 people at the party i'm going to say you're like it was epic

i go the fuck you think we did there we shot fucking firecrackers off the roof everyone got laid

it was epic with people for sure great people there yeah they were i mean do my parties were

grace yeah yeah epic so weird world though but epic considering the guest list the guest list is epic

yeah that's what behavior is not epic no the well the one time that i invited your group

they got you understand i have i have i have three groups of comedians that i hang out with

i have my god naked and then we threw his clothes away yeah when i when i i have the

the Keith call in norton you know my my class and then i also have another class i'm with you guys

right with you know Lewis and you and you know all those guys and then i have the younger

you know the younger people the danies the kelly fastuke is the blah blah blahs right and we

sent that examples for them well i i one year i invited we had a party for just your class Lewis

um you know stavie you Dave and you guys fucking tailing was there it was uh yeah we fucking

raged yeah you raged you guys one fucking no one raged nobody got like drunk or anything like

they mean no one's really drinking even but like uh my 80 year old neighbor Dolores who said use

the pool and we went in and you guys used it and took god naked and no no no no no

Lewis got naked we then took his clothes and hid them so he had to run around your neighborhood naked

so there was a naked put a wreaking running out of Dolores's driveway which is

i told him not to get good for the neighborhood i told him not to get naked and then he ran out

front of your house and then you yelled and screamed at him and he came back right he was covering

his dick with his hand though for what it's worth yeah Lewis is a fucking wild card we did the

rags last a couple weeks ago and he showered at the studio how where is that possible just like a hose

that is i run up and call it a Puerto Rican shower no there's a bathroom in the studio but

it there's a shower but no it's not a shower to use like nobody he uses it

yeah what's it there for like you used to be an apartment i guess it was no the studio the

comedy seller studio used to be Nome's apartment that's when Nome lived really and yeah he lived

there when his father was a when his father ran it Nome lived upstairs and he ran the wall

and um so when his father passed away he moved to his father's house up and

hardly it was great oh those apartments a huge up there they owned the building

well the studio doesn't seem huge though well it went the the studio has a bedroom off of it

and then the studio and then it went that's not all of it i got you it went all the way back but

then they put a wall up when he moved out and Rose and Tony live on the other side of the studio

well they have an apartment that goes way back like ova lives on the top floor and she has the whole

thing you know what i mean yeah i do i don't think the people listening in phoenix trucking

know what we mean i thought i thought it described it pretty good yeah and they're like they

go well it's great ova lived upstairs who the fuck is ova is uh that's true context uh

obva was manny's wife or girlfriend guma guma and yeah so that's a preference yeah she was sweet

she reminded me of my grandmother she was a very sweet uh Jewish lady i heard though until you

get on the bad side then she can go off oh yeah you feel that way but no no no no thank you my mom

no i've had i really have nothing but sweet things to say obva was a doll she was always

oh no always very sweet with the George George always very sweet to me yeah

Tony people over there one of the part owners over there um i don't know who Tony is

yeah you do who he's the spanish guy that makes everything fixes everything oh oh yes yes yes

yeah yes no no no that apartment that apartment is great my apartment the apartment i lived in

on 47th street was nice but the first floor it was the duplex place remember that place

yep that place was nice right now yeah you're full body shower full body show i still have one

how great is my shower here you saw my shower here i saw yeah i've never taken a full body shower

i've never seen a shower that shoots my dick with water dude come over directly i don't want to

come over just as fucking get my dick wet just come over dude gay did way what does that mean

full body shower i have you guys know it's a shower time right here they should write in your

dickhole my dickhole your eye not just one on top yeah our dickhole your face that sounds nice

guys it might be you're not just stronger am i on fire today you're always on fire baby

you got one too yeah i understand so i have shower tiles they shoot out of the wall

you shoot out of the wall what where you shoot out of the wall over to the last year so i have

a rainfall on top and then i have these shower tiles that are when i when i made the shower and

they made when they made it i stood in the shower and i made sure it hits it's my ding ding in my face

and uh chicken what are you watching on a flip phone

he's like i don't see what you're talking about the water shooting forward out of this

see it

oppression oh yeah while you're looking up the installation oh yeah i bet that comes in a wooden box

no no small boxes oh Jacob wants to all the stuff so we can go jerk off on a

paper screen check out our patreon where me and Bobby jerk off during the commercial breaks uh

sign up now for a free bonus we'll do some solo shows we do two guy stuff whatever

maybe jay will be in my shower he'll take he'll take a shower and wash his deck in my shower

do we have commercials can i go smoke for the first time in a long time during the show

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