Seal Clubbing, Mawson's Hut Franchises and the Kremlin Nightclub

In a world where ham and eggs are the work of the devil, in a world where Satan buys

all his clothes and the children's section that came up, and in a world where demons

and evil spirits sing karaoke in their pyjamas on weekends, these humble and relentless

octogenarians will rub salt in the wounds of a world in chaos, sprinkle twenty-nil drainage

gravel on your next door neighbours back side, and this is where I've got to fill in some

parts and finish it off, Brian. But anyway, never mind. All this and more on this weeks

or this month, or maybe it's this year's episode of The Soymies, Herring, Execution,

it's brilliant. It's so good to see you're growing, it's been forever. Yes, it has been

growing, I know that being in chaos-rated air raids takes so much out of this now to

get back into the swing of things and for you. Sorry, I'll lovely listen, it's

brilliant, I've spent a bit of time in Bogart Road, jail, yes we have. That's in Brisbane.

Brisbane's near Queensland, in Australia. Bogart Road's been closed for a long time,

but for the really vicious and unruly inmates, that's where they store them now. We were

a bit upset about the crucifulley government, and we set a couple of naughty words, and

he stuck us in the dungeon of Bogart Road for two weeks. Now we're out, we've got tunnels

everywhere, we're getting out, so I didn't know that it's everyone knows, we've just

sort of like going like fly in, fly out, that walk in, walk out, and we've been trudging

around this nation, trying to keep a low profile. We've been lacking electricity and

Wi-Fi, that's it. That's why we've been off air a bit. But now, because of the Tony Abbott

and the other politicians in Australia just criticised the Queensland government, and

got on our bandwagon, we're free, and we're ready to go, and this is our first two for

quite a while. Well, I did a poo in my pants this morning, but I mean, I'm in a poo

cast. But any other than that, it's been a fun time, but it's back to work, isn't it,

Brian? It is, Brian. It's enough of messing around. The world needs our attention again.

We thought we'd be able to retire many, many years ago, but the insanity just prevails.

The legacy that we built through the 30s, 40s, 50s, and dare I say it even in the 70s,

that's 1970s for all your time travellers. The legacy that we left behind for world, there

was pure, full of grace, full of friendliness and hospitality. That's all crumbled, gone

down by the wayside. I'd blamed this on a guy called John Howard. He had these tremendous

eyebrows that clearly fogged his ability to lead the country properly. I for one am happy

to blame the whole world's problems on him, because he's a county. Anyway, move on, maybe

Brian, it's a different time these days. We've got other cuts in power there. We all know

about the orange marmalade man that's got these out of his depth. Well, we'll not get into

that now, Brian. But yes, this Christopher Lee government that we've got at the moment,

they're around busily rounding up homeless people and children and putting them in carceration,

which I actually don't mind, because there's a lot less people on the streets. As you know,

Brian, I like to move about freely in the pants, in the suburb, in the city. I don't like

to be bothered by small children, homeless people or any people indeed. The more of them

that we can get off the streets, the better as far as I'm concerned. Well, that's right,

Brian. I mean, that's what street sweepers are for. And that's what bombs and maybe

electricians for, I'll fit in the past. I'm not talking about now. Of course, I

yes. Not now in the 20th century. Well, it'll become a little bit more civilized. We're not

like these idiots over in the snow. Go in, start bombing things for no particular reason, except

just maybe just stop talking about the Epstein virus, Brian. That's correct. Now, the thing

about all this, which is terrifying, Brian. Not for me, but for little titties, or maybe

even extra extra aged adults, not like us. Is that this particular orange fool is running

around, willy-nilly, Brian, willy-nilly doing things that are like what you'd call stupid,

now he's been stupid as our life. But now he's just actually proving with a big full stop,

at the end of it. I'm stupid, full stop. I think we should get shirts made up, Brian. I know

you've, we've been toward a Barry, Barry's love lot. We've no, Barry will love it. But he can't spell,

Brian. So I know we've got to have to do a big spell check. I'm sorry. You make sure it's stupid

and not like, I'm a can't yet. Now, you can't put a can on a t-shirt, Brian, these days. No.

Because the Christopher Lee government will put you in jail. Yeah. But I think if I'm with

stupid or this is, that's he's stupid or, yeah, he's stupid. You can probably get a

thing and go, well, just come. That's sort of like too ambiguous, Brian. So anyway, what I

suppose I'm getting at, Brian, is that in this day and age, you have to be very careful of what

you say and do. Even on a p-cast, what you do, you have to be careful if you say, maybe the wrong

word here and there. Now, we've been talking to Mr. and Becky, the actual room full of lawyers

that we have. And they've said, Brian, you've got so much currency in the world, you can say,

what do you fucking want? You've got a bit of cash in the bank. So, you know, they come

coming for you. We'll stand behind you. And that was a red flag to me, Brian, when they start,

they said they're going to stand behind me. I want them in front of me, Brian. I want them in

front of me with the cunt shirt on. And the thing is, Brian, if they're behind me, he knows what

they're doing back there. And they're probably into that liquor cabinet. You know, we love having

liquor cabinets everywhere. And I don't want anybody touching more liquor. No. I really don't,

Brian. I really don't know why. No, that's very true, Brian. There's a lot of things that need

to be swept under the carpet these days. There's a lot of people doing a good job of it. But while all

these unscrupulous characters from all around the world have been flying to some tiny James,

Ireland or whatever the fuck it is out there in the middle of the ocean, they're doing their

praying activities underground and lusting after subterranean species. We've been on

Air Island Island for many, many years. And we can see that island from our island. And we've

always tried to launch a number of attacks on that particular island. We even

fight only the most scrupulous people in the world to our island. And things go on

tickety boob over there. And as you'll know, I'm pulling up stumps from Lawton Heights. I've

been here for a long time, Brian. And I just think that at some stage, after all these people

have been tracking us through our podcasts, very suspicious things are going on around here,

Brian. I'm bugging out. I don't trust anyone. I don't trust the government. I've heard

the trustment neighbours. I've heard of the trust strangers. I especially don't trust myself.

And you'll be happy to know I'm off to Morrison's hut permanently. We've had a lot of time

down in the Antarctic region. And we were put in charge of Morrison's hut by the Whitlam

government. Yes. Goff Whitlam said to us, you boys, the only ones that we can trust is so glorious,

to historical, early in March. So I'm down there permanent there, Brian. I'm taking the replica

of the Morrison's hut that I've actually got in shed 57 down with me. And I'm going to put

that about a mile or two away from the original Morrison's hut as a bit of a decoy in case someone

wants to fight some jets over and release some new weapons down there. Anything's possible

these days, Brian. But I'm starting a freeing choice. Yeah. Thanks to G, G, and we're going to be

setting up Morrison's huts all over the world because he loves a bit of Morrison's hut. He was

one of Morrison's greatest fans, Brian. He loves him and it'll be so good when the Chinese take

over Australia. Yeah. It'll make the transition so much easier that gisings about Morrison's

fan, Brian. Holy is, Brian. And we've had a couple of drinks over the years. He loves some

pins on ice. Yeah. And he said to us in his own dialect, but we understand Chinese or Cantonese,

where have you got caught up? That's cool. That's fucking Asian stuff. Asian tool,

margarine, Brian. He talks margarines, yes. But we can, we understand we've got our own

linguists, we've got specials, specialists. And every day, we were just up the road from

Morrison's hut at the old Doug hut. You know, Doug's hut. He was a mate of Morrison's and he

nobody talks about Doug's hut. It's a bit fucking bombed out. But anyway, we were sitting in there,

had to fire down and now there's petrol everywhere. I don't know what the fuck we were doing,

but anyway, we were snorting petrol diesel, I don't know. It's a just a, it's a bloody,

hey, I'll get to the point. We're sitting there with, say, Sipin some pins on ice and he said,

oh, I just, I'd love to see it hard at your place. You know, you just chip away at an ice

burg and you get your own ice and he said, pins on tap. I said, oh, mate, you should be down here

for New Year's Eve. He said, what happens then? And I said, seal clubbing mate, seal clubbing.

Oh, anyway, it's clubbing? Clubbing? Well, look, I go to a disco. Oh, mate, you idiot.

No, no idea. No, you get the, you get the baseball that out, put a knell through the end of it,

then you go clubbing for seals. Oh, he went, oh, yeah, yeah. And I said, have you ever eaten one?

He said, basically, in some sort of, I think it was Russian. He said, what the fuck? Yeah.

And I said, I said, yeah, hey, it's a delicacy down here, mate. Yeah. He said, you was easier,

fucked in the head. And there was on, wasn't it, bro? I was, bro. He was swinging punches. I got

the baseball bat out and he went, oh, shit. No, no, you mean? That's it. And he was in, he was in

like fling. Oh, yeah. Anyway, we took him out, bit of clubbing and all that sort of stuff and then

we ended up back in the Premier League. And he says, all right, you two idiots. I'm going to take you

clubbing. I don't know, fuck here we go. Anyway, he was right. It was, we went into these night clubs

and, oh, fuck, it was this fight and fucking the vodka was getting poured all over people and we

were sucking it through our pores. Yeah. Fuck, he's a, he's a ranger, bro. I love him. I fucking love him.

Literally, I loved him. I know you've loved him many times. He seems, he seems to enjoy it.

He does. And it's a really good thing over there in the Kremlin when you can go out night clubbing

and actually enjoy clubbing some of the patrons as well as it combines the two activities, which is

I think it's a maybe an Olympic sport we can bring to Brisbane, if there's anything left by

the 2032 business that's going to be in town. We've tipped out all the old events, Brian. They're

all par say the internet generation doesn't want to see a lot of men and women jumping over

things or like swimming or, you know, rowing or whatever crap they get up to. They've had enough

of that. Yeah. And we want some wholesome bloodletting sports. Yeah. So we're right on board with

that. The Christopher Lee's, he's leveling everything in Brisbane to make way for it. Yes.

Getting rid of 97% of Brisbane just so it can be one giant athletic arena. Yeah. And all the sports

are going to be on at once. Yes. It's going to be intermingling. And I think the whole

gains if it goes to schedule be over by the afternoon. There'll be opening ceremony.

Opening ceremony. And an enemy at about seven in the morning. Stop for smoker at 10. A lunch time

there'll be a big cook up big barbie for a few dogs on the barbecue. Get back into it

after a few beers. And then the whole thing will be over by 6.30 in the afternoon.

This is just a way to expedite the whole process. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone's going to be over

growing. And there's wars to get back to. We can't be laying around. I just haven't sporting

events. I mean, there's things to blow up. There's people to shoot. There's whole entire species

of people that need to be eradicated. Yeah. Right. Yeah. No, this is busy work. Yeah. And let's just

get on with it. Yes, Brian. I think we've got to introduce violence into the 2032

Brisbane games. I really do. I think the thing is that people want not only the

bloodlating, the bloodshed, sea pain and suffering, they want to enjoy the moment when, say,

you know, the fellow with the gun or everything, just tops himself right there on the start line.

And they go, yeah, far away. This is an impressive way to start a fucking sprint race.

Yeah. His head's on the fucking footpath. What the fuck? Yes. And then you've got the other

bits and pieces where, you know, at the beginning of the games, Brian, when they start the fire going

something, cook all the pigeons. Oh, yes. I want to see that with just incendiary devices being

used. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe a tank. Yeah. A tank just with a flamethrower. Yeah.

Straight across the crowd into the cauldron thing. Yeah. I think they'll be smoking, not mirrors.

We're just smoking, smolering bodies in the stands. Yeah. Brilliant, Brian.

Let me give you the atmosphere, Brian. It's just in the stench. I love the stench of the

Olympics, Brian. I really do. Yeah. And I think the thing, Brian, as it could just go on from

there. And I think because we are the patrons of the Brisbane Agues Games in 2032, I'm sure we're

going to ask some time another input into how we can make these games the biggest best and

probably the last ones ever, hopefully. And I think the thing is, the only way you can finish off the

games forever is something a lot nuclear device. Yes. Now, I've been trying to do well. I'll

put it in there, mate. And he said, oh, fuck, mate, I've got some here from 1949.

Yeah. So what the fuck? How'd you do that? He said, oh, it was fucking world war 2x,

buddy. What do you call it? Exposed a body. Oh, yeah. And he said Bill Clinton gave it to him.

Yeah. Bill Clinton. So, yeah, yeah, I went some dirt on him. We've got dirt on him.

And he just said, oh, he's bombed his teeth. Yeah. And they changed history by staying out of the

shit. Oh, I love the way they operate, Brian, because he was in the KGB, which is something like

Kellogg's biscuits or something. I don't know. I already was in, but he was in something where

it was to do with biscuits. And he knows his biscuits. He's got lots of stuff with crumbs. He

was crumbs, Brian. And the thing about him, Brian, he's got so much knowledge. He's got knowledge

of how to get information out of people just by using knitting needles. I don't know,

how you do that, Brian. Oh, he's a very crafty fellow. I've only used that to just

to sew a button on it. But I don't know. He does things with mysterious ways. Yeah. And he's

a goa. And I think he should be in with us as a patron saint. What do you call it? A patron

of the Olympus. Oh, I want to get in there. I want him down here, Brian. I want him in Brisbane,

in 2032. No matter if he's dead, even if he's dead, better if he's dead. We're going to bring him

in. He's going to be in a box. He's going to be there right in front of the centre at Lang Park,

which is for our overseas, this is Lang Park is an old cemetery. No, can you believe it? We're

going to have an old cemetery as one of our event areas. It'll save us cutting the dead bodies away

from the arena, Brian. We can just bury them straight there at about seven o'clock at night

when it's all over. It's amazing, Brian, what you can do in this day and age, Brian, with the old

the the thing that I like with it, Brian, what they've got the newer technologies, you can

you can actually use somewhere and say it's somewhere else. I don't know how they do that,

Brian. I really don't. Oh, yeah. Well, what's this? It's an extension of the inner

minute, Brian. Yes, it's an eye, anal insemination. Yes. And it's to do a smoke and mirrors,

as we've looked at before, and some anal crane. It's got to do with anal crane, Brian.

And I think the thing is is that the Brian and Brian anal crane is going to be a big cell up

before and after the the Olympics in 2032 and forever and ever and ever. Well, it's one of the

major sponsors this one, Brian. Every athlete must use it. The Christopher Lee government has

made me mandated it, Brian. But other than that, Brian, look, I must go. I've got other things to talk

to you. You're about off air. Yes, that we can't let it. We're supposed to really, we'll talk

with it. We'll just have it edited a little bit. We'll put it in the next one.

Yeah, Brian. Thanks, Brian. I've loved having a chat. Me too, Brian.

And I'll talk to you again soon. Yeah, no worries, Brian. I'm going to take a drive now from

the River River to the sea. So I'll see you later. And then what did you say, gone?

And then, Brian.