Self-Esteem Specialist Shares KEY Mind-Set Shift for Rejection & Failure

0:00Hello and welcome back to Lessons in Self Worth. If you are returning, welcome back. How lovely that you have heard this podcast and yeah, you want to return and be in this world with me. And if you are brand new here, a big welcome to you as well. I am Carly Ann. I'm a therapist. I'm a coach. I'm specialising in self-esteem and self-worth and helping people to, you know, reclaim their lives, live happier lives. Maybe you appear capable self-aware on the outside, but internally you might struggle with self-doubt, with rumination, with it feeling more chaotic than it looks on the outside. And yeah, I'm helping people to reconnect with, do I say our true selves? Are happier selves? I just feel that there are things that we can do, mindsets that we can develop to really help us feel happier.

1:07This is a brief episode today and it is just a little something from the most recent self-worth reset. So I run a kind of workshop-ish style free call. It's for people to come along to check in with your self-esteem in that space. We ground, we let go, we gather. You can have your camera on or off. Most people have it off. To be honest with you, you can type in share or not share and, you know, just be on your own journey. But, you know, with us there, it's beautiful in that way. And yeah, I run that for free as a way for you to pause, connect with yourself and all of those things I was just saying that I'm so passionate about. And this episode is a little something from the most recent one. If you would like to join the next self-worth reset, just go to the description and you'll see the link for it there. If you want reminders, if you want behind-the-scenes things with me because you like this podcast,

2:11then make sure you're inside my telegram as well. It's a very small group, but I'm sharing bonuses there and just a bit more of an insight, I guess. Anyway, enjoy. Oh, I should say the sound is not great. I didn't have a microphone on. So it might be, yeah, just not great sound, but I hope you enjoy it all the same. For the next, this next internal shift between now and the next check-in, you may have heard of a famous quote around this that's inspired it. The reason I've chosen it is because with self-esteem, when people struggle with their self-esteem, we're going through a time in their life where they're struggling, something that tends to really trigger it, really trigger that thinking, feeling, or not being good enough, the anxiety, the worry, the low mood, is some kind of rejection or failure. The old quote, the rejection as redirection, letting rejection be redirection. And this internal shift this week is about you letting rejection and failure

3:13and being really conscious about this between now and our next check-in, letting rejection and failure be redirection. It's trying to radical every time, I might be pushing it there, but let's say it for the power. Every time you encounter rejection, failure, a moment that shakes your confidence or knocks you or makes your world wobbly, I want you to pause and I want you to say to yourself, you know, okay, I recognize this. This is not my sign to beat myself up. This is not my sign that I am unworthy. Instead, ask yourself, where is this redirecting me? What would my higher self say here? Instead of that sinking feeling, instead of that shrinking, blaming, worrying, sometimes a depression, see this as some kind of fuel, the disappointment, the frustration, see it as some kind of drive, it's not wasted, that is how I really used to use this.

4:17In the times where my self-esteem was particularly knocked in the dating world in relationships, I would be like, right, we get back up, we go again, and this will not be wasted. I will learn from this. This can really shine a light on where to do the work or where to go next. When you notice an inner fire or an inner pool that is coming from this rejection, maybe, or this failure, because maybe something is really important to you. You can ask yourself, what will I learn? Will this redirect me? How will I use my energy to take me in a kind of positive action? And again, you might take that 1% tangible shift. So that's what I want you to practice. How likely does that feel? How confident do you feel? Zero, not confident at all. Ten is confident. How confident do you feel that between now and the next check-in,

5:18you can try and find the strength in you to use failure and rejection as a reminder of, you know what, this is redirection. To check in with your self-esteem and not let it, not let it be your whole being. Don't let it define you. It can be crappy, but it doesn't define you. It's the goal. Does it mean I'm a bad person? Does it mean I'm useless? Does it mean I'm boring? Does it mean I'm embarrassing? It means this one thing has kind of happened. And sometimes that one thing hasn't even really happened. Let's be honest. Who can relate to that?