Shanna Moakler Is In Love, But Regrets Doing THIS For Her Ex-Husband

0:00This is an I Heart Podcast. Guaranteed Human. Hi, this is Kylie Breakman, Angel Jaretana. Jeremy Cole, Hank Paschek McDonald. And we're the hosts of the artist on artist on artist podcast. The improvised character comedy podcast, where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween sometimes. Does the Pope dress up? He winks on Halloween. He gets right up next to the microphone. I hear you get the almost here. The eyelashes hate each other. You never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween. Listen to artists on artist on artist on artist every Thursday on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I survived nine months in captivity. And I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the survivor files. Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable,

1:01abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the survivor files with Elizabeth Smart on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering the ride on his motorcycle. I choose option B. I'm Julie Pinero and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So what like by Asia, rather than or so, at least 70% have a phone. I'm Dr. Joy and this is Therophy for Black Girls. We spend our surviving middle school run getting into what's happening inside your kids brain,

2:04the group chat and their friendships and what you can do about it. Your child is not doing this on purpose. That's the kind of perspective we've been pulling from the psychologists and psychiatrists who study this for living. Listen to Therophy for Black Girls on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, I do part two. It's your host, Joanna Kramer. And today I get to connect with a woman who is feeling her best in chapter two and helping other women to do the same in this next phase of life. She is in her chapter two just like all of us. She had a high profile marriage to blink 182 drummer, Travis Barker.

3:04And now she's found love again. She's an actress, a mother and the founder of Hello Foxy. Please welcome Shane Emokler to the pod. I am so excited to chat with you for many reasons. But one being I am so in the start of Perry, Mounted Paws. I can't even, honestly, I have another podcast called Wine Down and I was talking with my girlfriends. I'm like, I don't know what's happening. I am everyone saying my blood works fine or this is what I wasn't doing in the right time. It's been, I felt I have felt so out of body and like something is wrong. And I've been, you know, chat GPTing, like what is wrong with me? Am I crazy? Like what's happening? And then everyone's, you know, it's just my age, I'm 42. And a lot of women are like, that's when it happened for me. And I'm like, what happened for you? Like, what do you mean? And then I'm just, and now, you know, as I was going through my notes and you've started Hello Foxy, I'm so excited because it's like you're helping every.

4:09Everything from menopause symptoms to skin wellness. Is there anything for Perry, menopause though? Girl, you don't even understand. I am so proud. So just a little background. Just, you know, I like really always looked up to Suzanne Summers. Oh, I mean, who hasn't? I mean, it was like my mom, like my mom was watching her like from like the workouts to everything. Yeah. But she was really like the first woman who really like sort of like pioneered like menopause and anti-aging for women. And really wrote those books and really opened the dialogue because my mom was just like raw dogging it. You know, like she was just roughing it. You know, and I look back now and I mean, and she was having all those hot flashes and I was like, get over it. Women and now I'm like, oh my god, I was so mean to my mom. Well, she, she hasn't. But to answer your question, not only do I have Perry, but I have Perry. I have pre-Perry impose. So I'm actually going to be offering three separate systems for women. So someone like yourself, you're actually really young. But women can go into menopause as early as like 28 years old.

5:10My mom was 33, which is why I had freaked out. Because I wanted to have kids. I'm like, oh my god, my mom's going to have, I'm going to have the same thing happen now that it didn't. But I mean, yeah, it's crazy. Yeah. And what are the first signs? You know, women don't even understand a lot of the times women when they are already, when they're going into like Perry, menopause. You know, they have maybe like hot flashes at night, you know, or, you know, they're gaining a little weight or their hair is getting a little thinner. And they just think it's stress or they think it's an anxiety or, you know, they just have no idea that it's actually their hormones that are changing. And, you know, one of the pharmacists who work within my company in Hello Foxy, her name is Jessica Patron. She's an absolute genius pharmacist. And she created an entire collection called Roots that I'm going to be implementing, which is the three systems of pre-Perry and post-menopause. And she was telling me, she goes, you know, when I was talking to her about hot flashes, she's like, well, when do you get them? And I was like, well, at first I was just getting them at night, you know, I was like dying in the middle of the night waking up like drenched.

6:14And she's like, well, that's your progesterum. That means your progesterum is low. And that's where it starts. And so women need to take that progesterum at night. But when you start having hot flashes in the day, she was like, now that's a whole other, that's a whole other, you know, demon there. You know, now that's estrogen. You know, now your estrogen's gone. So now you have to take an estrogen patch. And estrogen's really the one that kind of like sets it sets us all off. Once that estrogen drops, that's when, you know, you get the weight gain, you get the hair loss, you get the anxiety, you get the frozen shoulder. I mean, there's an array. I mean, women are afraid to drive. You know, the craziest things start happening, you know, to us when we start losing our estrogen. But, you know, and not every woman can go on estrogen replacement, which is a whole other thing. You know, so this is why I'm so proud of hella foxy because it's all made in the USA. You know, we're a 503A company. We're all based in the United States, in Tennessee, in Dallas. All our pharmacies are here. There's nothing synthetic coming from overseas.

7:16And we have women, women pharmacists and women doctors who are going to help you get your blood work and help you figure out exactly where your hormone levels are. And, you know, kind of cater to your particular needs. And we're not going to go, we're not going to leave you. We're not going to be like, okay, here's your drugs. And then, you know, you know, there's a lot of women stop. And then, you know, they don't know what to do. And then, you know, but so we're not going to leave you. We're going to guide you through it all. That is, I mean, that's amazing. I'm so excited to look into that. And I'm curious to you because so you've been dating your new guy for how long? Oh, okay. Well, I met Greg. Oh my god. A lot of you met him on a movie, right? Like years and years. I met who we were first models in Miami. I was 18. I just graduated high school. I was a model in Miami. He was 20. And we just met Miami. And then we were dating. We were so young. And then he went to LA.

8:16And I went to New York. That's when I became Miss New York, USA. And one Miss USA. And that's why I moved to LA. Then I ran into him again. We actually did Poison Ivy 3. When Jamie Presley, we did like a whole movie. And we kind of dated a little bit again. And then you know, life just kind of took us on our separate way. So I've known Greg for well over 30 years. Oh my god. That's crazy to say. But we've been together. We reconnected about three years ago. How do you reconnect? What was the what was the reconnection? Was it like a DM slide or? So Jason Momoa. You might know him. You know, Aquaman. Yeah. He was a very easy good friend of both of ours. So when we all moved to LA, we were all starting, you know, young actors, models. We were all like doing our thing many, many moons ago. And he was doing the botca launch and invited us all, you know, to kind of go celebrate. And so I ran into him at Jason's botca launch. And I just saw him. I hugged him. And I was like, it's you. You're the what?

9:16It's the I'm going to grow old. But you knew it. You know, and shortly after he moved me to Texas. And we've been together ever since. Oh, so you're living in Texas now? I do. Yeah. I'm in LA right now visiting my kiddos, but I'm based on a Dallas now. And then the kiddos ages are what? Oh my gosh. Okay. So BAM is going to be turning 21 in December, which is so crazy. I'm going to have a big old party in Vegas, I think. I think Lannan will be 23 in October. And my youngest is 27, which really freaks me out because it's very close to 30. And I'm not sure I'm ready to have a 30 year old daughter yet, but yeah, 27. Well, first of all, I think it's beautiful that you're on your next chapter. And you know, you're I'm curious to you because I feel like it takes a specific man to handle the hormonal imbalances that were going there. Like I genuinely like I'm like, man, you know, it does.

10:16It just takes it takes a it takes a really good man. But also like, what is something that he does for you that you're just like, because I have a hard time expressing like, hey, it's the week before I'm about to go really crazy. Because right now, I might have PMDD. So it's like right before my period. It just is and I've never felt that. That's the thing with Perry, right? Is like, you know, you have a period, you don't have a period. You have a period for two weeks and you have a period for like three months. You know, and then like, you might have hot flashes one week. And so, you know, it's just you never know, you know, and it's yeah. And a lot of women just rough through it. But there's, you know, there's things out there that can kind of ease all of that. You know, there's no reason to suffer. We have HRT, we have hormone replacement therapy. But I'm, you know, the big thing for me was hot flashes. Like, I mean, I was getting them like every 30 minutes. And I'm not talking just like, the hardest thing was at night just sleeping, because I would just wake up like drenched to the point where I would like have to go like, you know, you're like, you're sweating and then you're freezing and then you're sweating.

11:20And then you just, you're not sleeping. You know, my sleep was so interrupted. And I just was like, babe, I just, I just need a good night's sleep. You know, that was the hardest thing. And he just saw me suffering through that. Yeah. And I think that's the piece that I'm curious about because I have a hard time communicating that like, because I'm, it feels so out of body. And then I'm almost, not that I'm embarrassed by it, but it's, it's like I'm trying to hold it together because I don't want it to seem like, you know, but I also know that it's, it's a lot. So like, how do you communicate that to your partner and then how is he shown up for you in that? You know, I always tell like women and I tell men, you know, there's three phases in a woman's life where we have absolutely no control of our bodies. And that's puberty, pregnancy and metapause. And it's just, we just have no control of our hormones, you know, and it's, it's like, you know, I just, it's like, hey, I don't, I don't want to feel like this, you know, but I think just educating your partner as well, just being like, hey, babe, like, read this article or here's a little fun meme, you know, or just kind of sending him stuff, you know,

12:22where it shows other women kind of make in light of it. So, you know, but it's a conversation you have to have, like, hey, I'm not in control of my body sometimes. Like, I'm going to go see a physician, I'm going to get it under control, but I need you to be a little patient with me because the thing about metapause is like, especially with hormone replacement therapies and really with any sort of like any real physical issue, any physician guided issue you have. You know, even if it's mental, mental health, you know, you, it's going to take a little, a little work to figure out what works with your body, even going on a GLP, you know, ozemic may work for some people, monjuro may work for another person, you know, you need to figure out the level that works for you is it five milligrams is it seven? Do you want a micro dose? You know, and people really need to be, I think, a little kinder to themselves as they sort of navigate what works for them and what doesn't work for them because it can be like a six to a year month process figuring it out. Right. Yeah, no, for sure. Can we travel back in time a bit? Yeah, sure. Okay. Yeah, sure.

13:22I love to go back in time. I know, right. Don't I as well. I love to go back in time. I have, you know, I have a very, I have a public ex a relationship that was really hard and that was in, you know, the papers and all the things. You know, I sometimes think back on that relationship and I'm like, what could I have done differently? Because, you know, obviously people reach out and be like, hey, I need help with, you know, moving on or this. Like, what would you have done differently? And I'm, you know, I have, I have my responses for that. But I'm curious, like, when you look back or when you've looked back, like, is there something where you're like, I could have done this differently. Oh, God. I mean, I don't even, I mean, of course, I mean, there's, I mean, there's, I'm not going to be, of course, I mean, there's, I mean, my life and all the things that I'm going through. I'm probably a gazillion things, you know, that I, I think I would have done differently. And more so even in the self care of myself.

14:22Yeah. You know, I was running around trying to save everybody, probably, but myself, not to sound selfish or whatnot. But I think if women don't take care of themselves, you're not going to be a good mother, you're not going to be a good friend, you're not going to be a good daughter, you know. So I think that's very important. But at the same time, you know, I know everyone says this is very cliche. But if I didn't make those mistakes, I wouldn't be who I am today. And, you know, I wouldn't, you know, have the strength in the, in the different attributes. And, you know, if I hadn't made those mistakes. Yeah. No, for sure. I hear that. And I think one of the things that I've, when I've like sat with it is, I wish I would have, like, I always say, Oh, I'm so glad that I stayed all those years and that I gave it everything. And I am like, because I know that I tried everything I possibly could. Yeah. But I, but the piece that I haven't been truthful and that is that I wish I would have, because I had, if I really would have discerned with myself, I knew it was never going to get better. Right. And I mean, like, and, and it, and like, I wish I would have actually left sooner,

15:25knowing that it wouldn't have changed. So I should have listened to that whisper and that discernment inside of me. Yeah. Because you know, you know, and I want to take nor it. I kept just shoving it down and like trying to pour water over it, you know. Well, I think, you know, that's a big thing. I think a lot of women stay too long, you know, for different reasons. Maybe it's their kids. Maybe it's, you know, a lot of women of fixers. You know, I'm going to fix it. I'm going to heal it. That was kind of like my personality. I don't want to, I didn't want to have another failed relationship. So, you know, and then I think the hardest challenge for me has been trying to forgive myself. For staying in places that I should have left, you know, for not reading those red flags or saying, you know, I know it's hard. But I, you know, I should have left. That is one of the hardest things is grieving your choices. And that is like one of the things that I have, it's taken the longest in therapy to get over. Yeah. grieving the things that I wish I would have done differently. Yeah, bear mad at myself, you know.

16:25Yeah. Why did I do, why would I do that? Why did I allow that or like what in my, you know, and, you know, my major relationships that people know me for Oscar and Travis, those ones I don't really have. The biggest regrets about it's a relationship that I had before Greg that I was in for almost five years. That was a very abusive relationship. And, and that's the relationship that I really, I go back on often and really like why what was it about me at that point in time that was so broken that thought that I was deserving of that, you know, and I had to, that was the kind of therapy I had to go kind of figure out. And I'm still working on that. Hey everyone, it's the Jonas Brothers with the Hey Jonas podcast. We've been catching up with some great friends Paul Rod, Michael Boublay, Seth Meyers, Nile Horan, Jake Shane, and making some new friends while getting into what's really like to have sisters, like Alex National.

17:25She likes to control everyone and tell everyone to control as a harsh word. I would say that's a harsh word. I am more outspoken, growing up a lot of the times because she was so quiet. I would speak for like the both of us. Now I'm working on like thinking a mom is really not a good taking before I speak. And Joey King. You know if your like mom is yelling at your sibling and even if you're annoyed with your sibling, you just like won't let that slide. It's like you only can yell at your sibling. I'm like, you can't do that here. That is not what I want talk about her like that. I just want to talk about her like that. Plus we've been taking your calls, listening to your voice mail and giving advice or at least trying to. So if you've got catching up to do now is the perfect time. Listen to Hey Jonas on the iHeartReadyWap Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcast. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and health captive for nine months. I survived and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.

18:25I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the survivor files. I just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up, don't say anything. Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the survivor files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartReadyWap Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi this is Kylie Breikman, Angel Jaretana, Jeremy Colhane Cash McDonald, and we're the hosts of the artists on artists on artists on artists podcast. The Improvised Character Comedy Podcast where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft.

19:27Join us for a panel of wellness influencers. What I try to do is foe journal. I don't know, have you guys heard of foe journaling? Yeah it's reading, it's called reading. So we don't like to use that word anymore. Okay. A panel of New Yorker cartoonists. Have you guys done Terry Gross's Peloton class? No! I've been dying too! I'm so sorry, I'm seeing a reading of Sudako in the Thousand Paper Cranes by Audrement Donalds at the Wonderland Bookstore 14. That's crazy, I went to the Wonderland Bookstore yesterday and I heard Nora Jones do a reading of Zero Dark Thirty. No way! I'm going to have to come to the last bookstore though. Kim Katrol is reading the guitar tabs of yesterday! A panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween sometimes. Does the Pope dress up? He winks on Halloween. It's right up next to the microphone. I hear you get the elbows here, the eyelashes hate each other. You never seen it least so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween. Listen to artists on artists on artists on the IHERD radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

20:33By age of rather than or so at least 70% have a phone. Middle school is a different world than the one we grew up in. I'm Dr. Joy and this is Therapy for Black Girl. This man real time on it in our surviving middle school run. Bringing in a child psychologist and a psychiatrist who's raising two black girls of his own to talk about what's really going on with our kids right now. So it's literally physiological and neurological and psychological chaos, I mean all of the same job. We got into group chats and gaming, friendships and bullying, and how to tell the difference between healthy monitoring and the kind of surveillance that erodes trust. The longer you can think of belonging as I can be myself and I can still be accepted. And then they're fitting in. Spitting in says I have to change who I am in order to avoid rejection. Then we turn the conversation toward the fathers. Sitting down with therapist Kiergain's on black fatherhood and what it means to raise a daughter through this stage. You don't have more shorts so you can't do flips, you have more dress up across your legs. That's the range of this run.

21:34From screen time to identity to the fathers doing the work at home. You have to get off her device. But the reality is there's a lot of life out there that we don't want you as your adult in the life to miss out on. This has been our surviving middle school run. Brought to you by the people who spend their careers thinking about exactly this. I'm Dr. Joy. Listen to therapy for black girls on the iHeartReneo app, Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcast. What is your best and I just I just posted something on my Instagram about all the things I've learned with co parenting because it can be very challenging. So I just put like you know my tips and tricks out there. But what has been what is your what are your best tips for co parenting because especially when people get into new relationships as it's hard if you're not meshing well with the other person or you know whatever it is. What is something that like if you had a friend that's like hey girl I need your help like what are the main things for you that are either non negotiables but also that has worked well for you.

22:39Well you know co parenting proof that it can be so difficult for so many people. You know the one thing my ex and I agree on it's the only thing my ex and I agree on because we don't agree on anything else was our children and that was putting our children first. And so you know the first thing I think when it comes to couples and divorce is you can't weaponize your children you know you can't use your children to get back at your spouse you know for whatever at whatever I don't I don't care how much you hate them I don't care you know you cannot use your children as a weapon against against it like you really need to sit down with yourself and say my priority is giving my children the healthiest and best future possible and that's making and at the end of the day. And at the end of the day whether you like it or not your child deserves to know their father yeah your child deserves to know their mother you know whether you respect them or not it's their parent and whether they grow up and say you know what my father's a piece of I don't like them that's their road to travel and learn so you have to allow your children to know know their other their other parent and you have to put them first and sometimes that's you know let you know taking your ego out of it you know one thing.

23:52You know one thing that Travis and I did that worked really great for us is that we had a nesting arrangement so our kids actually stayed in one house and he and I went in and out so our kids never went back and forth and I know that's not an option for a lot of people you know but that's something that we did that was really kind of helpful my kids just stayed in one place. And then he went in on his custodial days and then I went in on my custodial days and you know we were the ones going back and forth so it didn't really interrupt the children but I just think you know my biggest tip is don't recognize your children. Yeah it can be so hard to when you're so angry at the other person yeah yeah yeah and you know like you know like look they there's days you know the courts set times and dates for reasons you know and it's like a buy buy you you know follow them you know the kids you know if especially like you know there's some parents you know they don't like it's their kids every other weekend you know they're not so like if your kids go be with your you know with their parent the other the one weekend the two weekends of the month you know we don't need to have to go to the cops to have a child exchange you know think how dramatic that is for kids so I mean co-parenting is it's so so difficult it's so difficult I think parents who can come together and really do that well I really applaud you.

25:10I really applaud them because it's it's not easy and sometimes it takes people years you know and it takes you two to three years to kind of find that rhythm and flow. All right as long as you find that rhythm and flow. I got to ask this because you know obviously your your kids are you know out of the house they're a bit older. I'm an empty nester. I know so this is like that and you know this is because I'm still you know I pay child support to my to my ex and our kids are still young. How is it when they're older like to not have to have that communication with because I still have to text my ex and have community like we're in communication we're at the baseball games where it is. It doesn't go away when they're 18 just so you know that's my answer that's my question that doesn't like it's not like you don't have to talk it probably less. It definitely lessens it definitely lessens but like let's say Alabama for instance you know she deals with a lot of health anxiety my my youngest daughter she's very vocal about it. She talks about it but you know she likes to go to the ER every other day you know she gets she thinks she's going to have a brain tumor she goes to the ER she thinks she's got a subset she's got to go to the ER you know and and at this point we're like go to the ER so you know if that's going to make you feel better.

26:22But you know that's something Travis and I have to text each other you know did she are you going to the are with her this time am I going to the are you know are we going to are we going to you know like what are you know how she doing is she is she resting is she feeling. Better you know you know she's going to be 21 but we still will talk to each other you know the kids are in New York do you have security with the kids in New York yes the kids have so you know so we still will text and communicate even though they're young adults you know they're young adults you know people think oh they're 18 but they're still I mean I'm 51 their kids to me 20 you know 30s a kid to me so it's you know it's like they're still like babies it doesn't really. I have this and my my now husband he. I think he laughs at me for it but I have this dream that you know whoever my ex Mary's like we're going to be best friends and we're going to you know go on vacation together and like that can happen that can happen yeah but like realistically like and that's not my husband wouldn't be comfortable with with that and that you know obviously want to honor like anyone who knows like now right now that he wouldn't be the most comfortable.

27:29I don't know like is that like is that something you ever thought of or wanted or like how do you when it comes to like being able to co parent with another woman. I think that's not the right thing that's I'm just the wrong person. That's okay though because I'm like I think it's it that can be you know it probably 90% of situation. My best friend in Rhode Island his name's Thomas he has a daughter and he and his ex wife are best friends and their priority was their daughter and they I mean every year I mean he on their on her birthday and mother's day I mean he I mean it's a beautiful thing to see people do do it for me it's just the the sadly the opportunity I guess with my exes in their in their particular new partners just wasn't you know didn't end well with me with those.

28:44With me with those people and so it's just never been an option and it's nothing I've ever ever wanted to do but I I applaud you for that dream I will support you I think it's just because my kids are little and I think yeah I always think I could be something great for that right absolutely you have to see their parents like get along even as friends yeah I think you know I think that's a it's important you know I try I try. But I don't always succeed you know I but I get it you know I totally get it yeah yeah I mean that is my Michigan Detroit can come out to it time yeah I totally get it and I think there's two sides and then the truth exactly you know what I mean so that is what I always you know kind of hang my hat on but the dock that just came out I know it was been like a seven year process did you have any how we're how do you feel about how it turned out because I know I was watching the other dock that I'm Chloe was in that she agreed to and then she's like I don't like how it turned out.

29:52So I'm curious like where you're I didn't get to finish it so I don't I didn't watch it I don't want to watch it. Do you regret kind of signing up for it then I like a lot yeah I wish I didn't do it you know I he asked me to be a part of his book you know many many I'm I know 15 almost maybe 20 years ago and I regretted being a part of that book and I didn't like how I was edited or portrayed in that book and it was really really hurtful honestly and I always told myself I wouldn't do it I don't know how he got me to go and do this documentary I think it was before he was with his wife I'm pretty sure and I just wish I hadn't done it and I because I knew in my heart I wasn't going to be portrayed the way that I felt I deserved and I and just the bits and pieces that people have shared with me or told me about I just was like yeah that's kind of what I thought was going to happen so I'm a little disappointed with myself for participating.

30:55Well no I mean it's I think the fact that you showed up to participate shows your heart in that and the results can be disappointing that you put in that and then that's how it gets twisted and that's yeah. That's not fair you know yeah so I would I could totally understand the disappointment and not for sure absolutely you have your chance you just announce your upcoming memoir is coming out yeah what are you most excited to say and for people to know. Gosh you know I just think that there's been a narrative about me for just so long from meet the barkers where you know people to get sleep all the time you know I mean just craziness well listen how old were you it was probably hormones and like coming out of mother head. I had I had I had three kids under five I had a five like two people were tired I was pregnant like leave me alone you know and then we were filming all day and everything but they act like I was like but it was also supposed to be like sort of like a storyline that was supposed to be funny but people just you know turned it that I'm just like a terrible neglecting mother but I was just like oh wow didn't see that coming but you know it is what it is but my book I'm I think I'm just

32:06most excited about to show all the the different sides in me that people don't know about living in Miami modeling the celebrities New York moving to LA early Hollywood all the celebrities from Jack Nicholson to Sean Penn to Gerard Butler I mean I talk about them all and you know just what that like early Hollywood in the 90s was like and you know the playboy mansion Miss USA it you know Oscar De La Jolla. I have a whole you know world with him you know it's not just about Travis Travis you know has a couple chapters but it's not just about chapters I want this book to be one that inspires women to to to learn about trauma trauma bonding how to how to get over living through embarrassing things in the public eye but more than anything kind of finding that journey back to your life.

33:06You know what can you get through yourself and it's it's more about inspiring women because my fan base is divorced women it's it's you know not single moms you know how did you get through it how do you how how how you know how did you get through seeing him move on with another woman so publicly so you know that's the woman that write me you know so this book is for them. You know like it's not it's not easy going through any of that and then finding your way back to yourself I have a question did you did you tell any of the people like hey heads up I'm writing this story about you or like the ones that you just mentioned. No and I have to definitely make sure legal goes through my book because I talk about a lot of people I mean I don't talk about it's not about trying to disparage anybody I'm not trying to make anyone look bad at all i'm really just trying to share. You were I was who I was why I acted the way I acted where my what my thought process was into share some truths that have been with held yeah for a long time and it's in their true there there there there are real you know like you said there's you know there's two sides every story wall there's a lot of my side that has never been shared and I'm eager to share that but it's been hard people don't want to touch my book you know.

34:28And I just I just think there's people that don't want my book to be read so you know there's powerful people more powerful than me but my book will be will be if I have to sell public shit or not I'll have my book out. Well you should again it's your story and I think that's the thing like when when I wrote my book I changed someone's name but I also I told my acts I'm like this it started and I'm curious how you're writing process too because my book started with me sharing a lot of things that now I'm glad I didn't know. I didn't share for my kids sake yeah but it was a lot of like about him and then the book turned into about me where I was like and at the end of it too I was like listen I took out these stories and this and that and the other and I said this is your in it but it's not about you at all. Like here's here's the manuscript and I would like for you to read it if you'd like to read it but I did protect like what we have and you know all the things because at the end of the day it was never it's not about you it's about how I move through everything that happened that you also did that I contribute all the things you know so it's like.

35:34You know my kid and you know one of the things that I do talk about is parental alienation which is a big thing and that's a big thing with my fan base as well because you know when my kids were little and I was going through some difficulties with their dads I hit it you know when your mom and you you know you you high things from your children you protect your children from certain things that you don't want them to see or know and you kind of suffer in silence you know and and and and I'm going to do that. I definitely am taking my children's feelings into consideration but at the same time you are young adults now and I think you kind of need to understand why your mom's the crazy mom that she is you know why she why I did some of the things I did because I don't think you understood what was being done or what I was going through during a lot of those years that you were young and yeah and that was me protecting them but you know they're young adults there's nothing there that I don't know.

36:34I don't think I can't share with them but I think a lot of women and parents will relate. Yeah no especially because a lot of those times and I there's I can think back on conversations and just like how it was it makes me sad but it's also knowing that like we are even when something was so wrongly done to us we're still protecting our kids to make sure they don't know certain things. Absolutely yeah you know like I yeah very good and live in memory of something where I had to course correct it so that she wouldn't remember how she's not in a way right exactly yeah that I needed to protect her and it's like but it's so sad to you know cuz yeah yeah I think there's like this quote and I don't I don't remember but it was like the biggest acting job I ever did was when I had to smile with my kids as a mother when inside I was like crying you know I was like terrible when you walk out of the bathroom from just sobbing and then be like hey kid yeah there is a great dinner yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like just not daddy making out with Harris Hilton on TMZ but I'm so good yeah just discovered the 15th affair here we go yeah oh yes you know everything's great yes you know it's like gosh it's interesting and then to have it you know play out in public you know and and having your kids like my kids were in the public eye so that was a whole other like sort of crazy

37:57kind of thing everyone it's the Jonas Brothers with the hey Jonas podcast we've been catching up with some great friends Paul Rod Michael Blay Seth Meyers Nile Horan Jake Shane and making some new friends while getting into what's really like to have sisters like Alex Nasson Earl she likes to control everyone and tell everyone okay well control is a horsework I would say that's a harsh word I am more outspoken growing up a lot of the times because she was so quiet I would speak for like the both of us now I'm working on like thinking a mom is really not taking before I speak and Joey King you know if you're like mom is yelling at your sibling and even if you're annoyed with your sibling you just like won't let that slide it's like you only you can yell at your sibling I'm like you can't do that here that is not what about her like I just like that plus we've been taking your calls listening to your voice mails and giving advice or at least trying to so if you've got catching up to do now's the perfect time listen to hey Jonas on the iHeart ReadyWap Apple Podcast or wherever you get your

39:01podcasts when I was 14 years old I was kidnapped and health captive for nine months I survived and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them I'm Elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files you just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable I knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and I just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them their stories about what it takes to make it out alive listen to the survivor files with the Elizabeth smart on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts hi this is

40:03Kylie breakman angel jaretana jermick olhane kask McDonald and we're the hosts of the artist on artists on artists on artists podcast the improvised character comedy podcast were each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft join us for a panel of wellness influencers what I try to do is faux journal I don't know if you guys heard of faux journaling yeah it's reading it's called reading you so you're so we don't like to use that word anymore okay a panel of New Yorker cartoonists have you guys done Terry grosses peloton class no I've been dying too I'm so sorry I'm I'm seeing a reading of sedaco in the thousand thousand paper cranes by Auderman Donald at the wonderland bookstore 14 that's crazy I went to the wonderland bookstore yesterday and I heard nor Jones do a reading of zero dark thirty no way after the last bookstore though Kim control is reading the guitar tabs of yesterday a panel of Eurovision participants and we do a little Halloween sometimes does the pope dress up he he winks on Halloween it's right up next

41:06in a microphone you can I hear you get the elbows here the eyelashes hate each other you never seen it least so quiet as when the pope gets up to wink on Halloween listen to artists on artists on the iHeard radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts by azer rather and or so at least 70 percent have a phone middle school is a different world than the one we grew up in I'm dr. Joy and this is therapy for black girls we spent real time on it in our surviving middle school run bringing in a child psychologist and a psychiatrist who's raising two black girls of his own to talk about what's really going on with our kids right now so it's literally physiological and neurological air psychological chaos happening all this in job we got into group chats and gaming friendships and bullying and how to tell the difference between healthy monitoring and the kind of surveillance that erodes trust you're belonging you could think of belonging as I can be myself and I can still be accepted and then they're fitting it fitting in says I have to change who

42:08I am in order to avoid rejection then we turn the conversation toward the fathers sitting down with therapists care games on black fatherhood and what it means to raise a daughter through this stage you don't have on short so you can't do flips you have on the dress you up across your legs that's the range of this run from screen time to identity to the fathers doing the work at home you have to get off her device but the reality is there's a lot of life out there that we don't want you as your adults in the life to miss out on this has been our surviving middle school run brought to you by the people who spend their careers thinking about exactly this I'm dr. Joy listen to therapy for black girls on the iHot Radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast do you regret doing the reality show now looking oh no no I love it it's so crazy though I I look back on it now sometimes people will send me YouTube clips I don't even know those people it's like watching like two strangers no I don't even know like I'm like wow that girl looks fun

43:12like who's that like I don't even know who like those people are you know so it's so it's like a time capsule it's kind of like a cool time capsule but I just I don't even it's like a different I feel like I've been through ten lifetime since then so I get that would you get married again oh my god yes I want to marry Greg so bad oh this so cute I love it too obviously yes he's oh my god he's my southern he's my good old boy my southern gentleman he's ever loved that so that's the thing where it's it's I'm like the biggest believer in love and you know I've made a couple marriages but like I do believe that it's you know you do the work on yourself and I just I'm always the biggest advocate for for love and I just never wanted to let anybody make me afraid to fall in love again you know and Greg has definitely had to eat some other men's sins for breakfast but the most beautiful thing about him is you know the way he communicates and

44:12the way he reassures me and he's like you know look I understand why that's triggering but I'm not that person yeah my therapist always says don't don't give him the punishment of a crime that he didn't commit exactly yeah not something that I like think about often because I'm like you're right like I'm I'm giving the energy and the attitude towards my husband when he didn't commit that crime exactly yeah yeah it makes it there once in a while you know I believe a lot of that is hormonal too I really am not gonna play as blame on certain things but I think it's I think it's a combination of all of it I like you yeah what would be your biggest advice for someone moving into their next chapter like what is the thing that you're like um I think you know just like uh you know when I was younger I just rushed I rushed I was like I want to I gotta get this job I gotta get this relationship I gotta get this marriage I gotta you know I rush rush rush rush and I think the biggest thing is starting to just I guess allow myself the grace um to heal and

45:17to take that time to do the work on myself and to know that it's not gonna happen overnight and there are gonna be setbacks and I'm not I'm not you know like I am gonna mess up but I'm gonna you know give myself grace and you know just you know it's like it's like uh drinking you know if you you know it's like you want to I was trying to do this like two-week cleanse you know and I didn't do it and so it's like all right well then we're gonna start over it's okay to start over again you know I think that's a big thing people you know they beat themselves up too much yeah and I also think too it's you know and being on you know older and we're in we've all had marriages before you're gonna have things you're gonna have to work on with your new partner too everyone's just like oh you've got like I'm like yes like he's amazing and we still have things we have to work on right as a as our couple ship and also independently too and you know knowing very well that like we're doing that for us and then for for again our couple ship I think I think one of the hardest things for me too with Greg was that it was a healthy love yeah and I didn't know how to

46:20process like healthy love like I was so used to just drama and trauma and you know well we're not fighting so what are you not loving me you know why are you like why are you finding fault with me or you know and I had to like there were times I had to really sit back and go you can trust this you can trust this love you can trust this man allow yourself to enjoy this you are deserving of this you know and that was like a talk I had like the first year I had to like be like remind myself you're deserving of that because I like having healthy love was so foreign oh yeah because your system just knows some you know again that that trauma that you're fighting right now fight fight fight fight fight yeah and you always have to protect yourself but you know now you've got blink of an eye coming out by the way nice title thank you I'm a fan wow I just got that

47:22they're very smart I'm a blink of an eye I'll tell you that though you know life can change just like that so it's it's a lot my life in that book is not just him or his band but um it's it's it's a lot of different things you'll see in my book that how your life can just change so so quickly you know those by fast people don't realize life really does go by fast it does and then you've got the Hello Foxy so I work and everyone is it what's the website because I'm I was trying to find it sure it's Hello Foxy it's Foxy with an eye so just hello f o x i dot com hello Foxy and it's um hello dot Foxy at Instagram and hello Foxy wellness on Tik Tok oh I'm so excited yeah so you can go on there and you can take a quiz and you can kind of share what your concerns are will put you with a physician and we'll get you like an amazing program and we don't leave you you know we we follow up with you we we have you know at home um blood kits you know so you don't even have to go to the labs you can do it in the privacy of your own home it's really really beautiful

48:26and we have everything so we're gonna have peptides uh we have peptides GLPs we have hormone replacement therapy we have sexual wellness so it's not just for men we have everything from creams trope uh trokeys we have um you know nasal sprays you know and enhance her pleasure because it's about time our pleasure was enhanced have you tried the oxy oxytocin for nasal spray? I have yes I have it's fun okay I I just got it we what do you mean fun what does it do because I haven't tried yet and I'm so afraid of trying anything it like in heightened sensations you know it's just like really good it's gonna okay that oh that extra oh that you're looking for oh okay here we go yeah yeah I was yeah yeah because my doctor prescribed it for like anxiety yeah you can have it for anxiety but also like for women's like you know obviously women in metapause like there's lots of changes um you know with like vaginal dryness ictor it can be uncomfortable it can be painful um you know there's just all different kinds of things going on down there and we want

49:29to keep women happy and healthy because we should be enjoying sex well into our 80s is just like men so you know Robert and Ero has a three-year-old you know so we should be enjoying you know sexual wellness as well so and I also sell ED products for men on there as well you know because we want our partners to be you know because so many men too you know when their testosterone drops you know they start having problems and then back in effect our relationships because they're embarrassed to talk to you because they can't get it up or you know whatever and we want them to be feeling confident and sexy as well so there's a little a little line on there for men and women yes they're I mean there's some amazing amazing products in here i'm looking at all of them this is awesome well thank you so much for thank you i appreciate you sharing all the things oh my god you are so sweet so refreshing just to have a really nice conversation and not have to get all in the the the gossip of life so i appreciate you no yeah i was like the last thing that's just right fun to relate to someone that we've been you know we might not have been through the exact same

50:33things but we're on on the journey of it also sure thanks for being open i appreciate it well thank you so much i had so much fun okay bye girl are you trying to navigate your life in chapter two but need some advice while we're here to help you send us an email or leave us a voicemail all the info is in the show notes follow us on socials i do part two and i heart radio podcasts we're falling in love is the main objective hi this is Kylie breakman angel jiratana jermick olhane kashkamer kdanald and we're the hosts of the artists on artists on artists on artists podcast the improvised character comedy podcast were each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft join us for a panel of Eurovision participants and we do a little Halloween sometimes does the pope dress up he he winks on a lowly it's right up next to the microphone you get i hear you get the elbows here the eyelashes hate each other you never seen it le's so quiet as when the pope gets

51:37up to wink on Halloween listen to artists on artists on artists on artists every Thursday on the i heart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts i survived nine months in captivity and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm Elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced these are stories about what it takes to make it out alive listen to the survivor files with the li's of a smart on the i heart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts on the new podcast solita we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman i can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering the ride on his motorcycle i choose option b i'm julie bignero and i travel by myself because it's a rare space where i can say yes without asking anyone else first i'm on a

52:40mission to reclaim the word solita trading the pity for possibility listen to solita on the i heart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts so what like by azer rather than or so at least 70 percent have a phone i'm dr. joy and this is therapy for black girls we spend our surviving middle school run getting into what's happening inside your kids brain the group chef and their friendships and what you can do about it your child is not doing this on purpose that's the kind of perspective we've been pulling from the psychologists and psychiatrists who study this for a living listen to therapy for black girls on the i heart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcast this is an i heart podcast guaranteed human