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Henry & Eddie bring you this week's biggest stories and true crime news - as always, beginning with a series of updates, including the arrest of Anna Kepner's stepbrother in alleged cruise ship homicide, mulitple US Presidents tease the existence of extra-terrestrials, a new series of Ep-dates link Epstein to celebrity-producing arts school, Les Wexner's attonrey threatens to kill him on hot mic, Prince Andrew and his vast collection of Teddys, Former American Idol contestant accused in wife's murder, 11 year old boy shoots and kills father over Nintendo Switch, and then the boys are joined by LPN's own Jackie Zebrowski for a SNACK ATTACK & to discuss her brand new project (SlashFic available for free on Dorian)!
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Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk on the left side stories
Side stories yes
Dude I had fucking I gotta listen to what happened to me this week
I was in San Francisco. I had a show at the punchline. Love you punchline. Great time. Absolutely. Also sorry to Alaska
Can't wait cannot wait to be back there in April April. We are gonna come back
We promise we're definitely coming this time and it's not it's not not happening we're coming. We've rescheduled
This is very scheduled. We're coming. Um, but while I was in San Francisco
I was slumming it a little bit. I took in Uber X and
Arrab four showed up and at first I'm like my wife's with me. I don't want to get in this fucking thing
Did you I was like the driver? I was like just worried that like you know, it wouldn't
Move I was surprised it got to me. Honestly. I'm afraid to even put a woman in Arrab four. Yes
So it had um one of those like rearview mirrors. That's like a camera
Instead of like a rearview mirror. You know what I'm talking about. It was filming you it was filming it was filming your consent
No, it was filming the back. Oh, it was filming the people behind us without their consent
But it was really nice and it seemed
I had a nice time in the RAV4 and I think that I've learned something
As it because we've got a lot of messages a lot of people say we're very insensitive
Recently, yeah, yeah, we get really insensitive about how we've been talking about the RAV4
And you know a lot of people have RAV4s and that's okay
And I've been really sitting with a lot of people's opinions about the RAV4
and kind of
self
adjudicating
Yeah, about whether if I'm good or not thinking about the RAV4
And like yes
I'm great. Yeah, but maybe not when it comes to the RAV4
I'm sitting in that RAV4 with my wife and at first I'm mad as hell
And then I'm looking around. I'm like this ain't that bad. She wasn't screaming. No, she was just like at least it's not a Corolla
Wow, yeah, and so we were you know, we were we commiserated in that
And I and we got to the place and we got out of the car. We got you to where you were going
We were going. It got us to where we were going weird. I put even put some luggage in the back
It was it worked and you could sit I sat on the seat
belt the had a belt a seat belt
Erickson was had all the seatbelts and well, I didn't check the middle
But julie and I were both secure. Well, you're big enough to normally need the two. Yes. I know
I know and usually I'm big enough to not even need one because my shoulders are touching either door
The roll cage. Yes
Your body's
Touching your roll cage itself. So I'm saying that I've learned and I've grown to know
That if you drive a RAV4 you shouldn't have to call 988. Wow
Guys, this is one of the biggest
People come at us all the time and they're always so thankful about how we grow. Yes, all right
And then usually it's just sideways and sometimes we start small right we start small
Maybe there's a little procedure that might in kind of
discourage your full growth. Mm-hmm, but we got
Just enough growth. I think on this subject. Yeah, RAV4
drivers
We're not sorry, but we're thinking about saying we're sorry. Yeah, we're thinking about you and how hard your life must be
stuck in that
Horrible can and honestly I feel like
The care that should be taken for you is just the same amount of care that the Baptist took
Yeah, to really carve out the and make sure a really special place for everybody feel comfortable in that room
Know what I think would be a really nice thing for us to do a cause for us
Helmets for people who have to drive and ride in RAV4 honestly that be nice helmets and then
If there was like a cork like situation for their mouths and it's not to silence them. No, it's to protect their teeth
With a bite on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah for when the airbags come out because their airbags all full of sand
This is side stories my name is Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson and we have re adjudicated our opinion on the RAV4
You're welcome. You're welcome, and this has just been like
There's so many been so many learning opportunities this week for growth. Yeah, we got all kinds of updates and we took one we did
I took it. Yeah, we are a better
Person I'm better person he is I'm better person because I was in a RAV4 also. I do want to say I'm sorry to Frederick Brennan
Hey, I slandered quite a bit right before he died. So he died of course we talked about oh my god that guy yes
The creator of a chan the guy that did start life off in a bad way
But then did his best to pull the nose up and try to discourage young men from getting radicalized on the internet
And then everything he could Frederick Brennan he passed. Oh
Yeah, he's dead. Wow. I can't believe you were just making fun of that guy. Yeah, but so it goes
This isn't a funny and a bad not funny. It's actually not funny. I'm sorry. No, no
Yeah, unfortunately he did pass because unfortunately Peyton Manning did use him as a long ball. Oh, yeah
That's just me just trying to obviously
Hide my pain with last Jeff Saturday
Use them and then he Jeff Saturday gave him to Peyton Manning. Thank you. That's was Peyton Manning center
Wow
So again, sorry to that guy
And we got some updates. I think we got a couple updates and we can go in before the updates before the updates
We got normal updates hold your finger off that
You wait your god damn ass
They fucking charge the brother in the shit in the cruise ship murder
All right, so first of all we want to say congratulations to the police. They finally got their man
So when we arrive last year
This is not just a plug for crime wave at C-2.0
Not certainly not the cops are on the boat. Please everyone jump off because guess what no step sister got strangled to death on Royal Caribbean that we get no
This is a carnival cruise activity. We know that that is what they do over there. Okay, life was in limbo
You got to be careful over there. So we now know the Anna Kempner who was a lovely young lady
Was on a carnival cruise
docked at the dock the same weekend we docked yeah after the crime wave at C-1.0 there were cops everywhere
There were cops everywhere. We didn't know what was going on. This young lady was murdered by right now
They're accusing her stepbrother and what they this is actually finally happened because they've been kind of
Tipped towing around actually charging the younger brother
The funniest part about this story is the parents were all like oh, yeah, he did it
As soon as everyone threw him under the bus everybody was like oh, he's a fucking creepazoid. He was obsessed with her absolutely
Yeah, then why can I ask
Did you make him a roommate on a carnival cruise? I want to say four out of five
Brothers scenarios. Yeah, involve step brothers and sisters on cruise. Honestly. This is like and I think that
It's like that's it was just not good to do. I mean not everyone has enough money for multiple state rooms
I'm not saying this is not what he sleeps with her in there or someone's coming into the parents room or somebody else
Goes in the air besides the stepbrother that is sexually obsessed with the step sister was he sexually obsessed
I think he was just like me never and beat her up all the time
That's what they said, but also that's how young boys flirt. Yeah
What I think ask the fucking Christian church at the Catholic church
Yes, how the boys flirt
They're always fighting and kicking
That's how they're doing. That's how they say yes to a priest
I mean, this is a fucking crazy story. It's like everyone's god damn nightmare
You're on vacation and one of your family members gets killed by another family. Oh, yes, it's fucking horrific
This is a horrific the the the the the the the woman working the the housekeeper found
Yes, because he strangled her to death and will allegedly strangled her to death and stuff shoved her underneath the bunk
What I think happened is they were rough housing and he took it too far and accidentally killed her and then tried to hide her body
That's my personal like that's me putting my like stupid like I wasn't there detective glasses on
Of course, we have no idea what goes on, but I do think that also a or
Did he try to do something weird and then try to shut her up?
And kill her in the process of it
Man, I don't know ain't good. It's not good either way. Guess where it didn't happen
Royal Caribbean. That's what you're gonna want to go to crime wave and see 2.0
Because on our I'm telling you we're gonna control the true crime on our cruise
Yeah, and we're gonna have CCTV cameras on the carnival cruise ship so we can watch the crimes as they happen
Live stream crime from carnival cruises on to the absolutely idyllic perfect royal Caribbean cruise line
Don't look them up in the Epstein files
No, you don't look it up. No, don't look it up, but just know that there's a
Boats sort of not to play him
Boats aren't to play for islands. Boats have done as much good as they've done harm. Yes, ask the lucetania
Ask the monitor and the marimax. Ask the Titanic. They know
They know down in the old
Valdez so go to crime wave at c.com slash left by tickets
We're gonna have so much fucking fun in this cruise and I swear to god the only stepbrothers and step sisters
We are gonna allow to choke each other all the performers that we invite with us that play those family members
On television. That's right. Yep. That's right. So the television enemy pornography. Yeah, and that's you know
free
Another update
Austin the yogurt shop murderers have been completely exonerated. It's kind of crazy
That it took this long because now that one guy got booked who died right the guy that we know that did the yogurt land murders
He was dead already because they did that with like by there was DNA
Science later on the fact, but they did actually say I'm sorry to the OG guys
Well, how about they give him some fucking money, you know, he took 30 years of their god damn life. You'd think that
I know that now like it seems like complicated. There's really another like, you know that that guy arctane that actor
Or they put a big go fund me after he died for his family, and then we know how much money did Vanderbake get?
Oh my god. It was James Vanderbake got like several millions of dollars after they bought that ranch and after they did
You know, we know that he's like he was his wife was like an alternative health person than James Vanderbake
Essentially dumped millions of dollars since an alternative health things that could have cured
He had curable cancer and he ultimately died of it. It's really sad
But that's why I feel like would go fund me's
Maybe for people that aren't
Previously rich and famous. Yeah, I think that this could be a good use for a go fund me that would be an interesting
Yeah, if you were to do that. I'm not setting it up. No, I'm not somebody else could if someone
I mean these guys deserve money. They do if you would give them money. I would I mean
I wrote down if someone sat it up. Yeah, sure. I throw it down at least 50 for these fuckers
But they should sue the government. We should. Oh, absolutely
If you have an opportunity to sue the government always sue the government
I'd sucks that the taxpayers have to pay for it, but get yours baby. Hey man
Who cares? It all fucking comes out the washers fake money anyway. All the money's fucking ones and zeros and a fucking
Money that real no, so I got to ask you about this Henry
This is important before we get to our updates and I just need your natural opinion. We do also have an update
An update. Oh another update. Well the other the thing I have to ask you about is two presidents
This week have said aliens are real
How do you feel about it?
First of all Barack Obama was being extremely flippant
When he said a UFOs were real
He did it in the spirit of the stupid podcast he was on he was trying to be fun and cool
And guess what he is ultimately at disappointing mess like was what we found right as a country, right?
Remember when we all be on the day basis that and so Barack Obama said that UFOs were real
He did it very flippantly, but that aliens are real and he didn't say UFOs are real
And then he yes, you're right and then he rolled it all back afterwards saying statistically
Of course, they would be real and then he said they're not a dairy of 51
Which is I know that I knew that anybody who's plugged in knows that Obama. I didn't know that
Because they're right Paterson
Right yeah, so then we have our do you believe Obama more than Bob Lazar? No
Really you believe a Bob Lazar more than Obama if there was somebody who actually got closer to the whatever the fakery that is going on
Into the center of this they let Bob Lazar much closer to it because it would only make the president sound like a moron
Yeah, like literally they couldn't have him
Even know they couldn't even know that we were spending millions of dollars creating technology that was just mimicking
The visuals of UFOs even back then yeah, so he would even it wouldn't even matter
So now we have obviously our current president the pedophile is
Now he's doing this new thing right another distraction. I'm not even calling it a distraction anymore
There is no distraction no he's no there are no
Everybody really everything he doesn't says sucks. It's just also he has no thought behind it
Yeah, every single thing is off the back of his fucking head
He's got dementia
He is got nothing he has no idea what's going on so he has been openly floating
Saying he's like well, I've got this speech
Saying aliens are real that I'm just waiting for the right time to say it
So he's like saying he's like floating it
But he also said that Obama released classified information because he has no
Literal idea what the living fuck he's talking about. It's because he's trying to generate a
Headline no one's buying it
It makes me believe in less any single thing he'd say into a microphone
is not
Gonna answer anything you really think
He's gonna say something of substance at this point. I mean, I feel like if anyone's gonna release this information
It's Trump. No, it's not it's the anything that he would release is something that has been
Carefully packaged and handed to him you think so yes, you don't think he's just gonna flippantly be like
This is you know, they're all gone or it doesn't exist
Like anything that would really be like like that level that level like if you believe
The UFO lore if we actually believe the big mother load lore. Yeah, that we've had these things since the 1950s
Yeah
We got some advances in technology. We've starting to maybe make some things that look like UFOs
Yeah, I think we're at the same ground level. We were
Fucking 70 years ago and I think that your guy you have a bunch of now the worst of the worst of the worst that are gonna try to
talk about
one of the most
Powerful mysteries of our reality. Yeah, we don't know how this reality works
We don't know where we're at we don't know why they're the whole universe is it filled with endless life
We don't know why they don't know why he has no fucking idea what's going on anything
He'd say wouldn't matter it makes me not care about disclosure
One bit this is literally I just watched Jeremy Corbell and George nap just had a brand new great piece
Of UFO footage out of Syria unweaponized and
It's I watch it you could actually see the thing you can see this thing go stop you could see it go back at forward
You could see take off and I mean it's like really good footage and
It don't quite make me as hard as it used to yeah, what do you think's going on? Oh just cuz it's cuz the world's on fire
I thought that otherwise it's that it's making me understand what are the mysteries
Actually here and what are the important mysteries and the important mysteries are
You just coming out and trying to just say something about aliens like obviously is just such a deep
smoke screen
For whatever's going on yeah
And he's just gonna say the smoke screen and it doesn't matter and the fact that he is got this in his back pocket
And he's flippantly talking about it like it's deciding whether or not there's gonna be a season three of a television show
Also shows just how important this is to them okay
So we should really also think about that if he has the speech and he's waving and around threatening to give it
How important is that speech? Yeah, obviously not because he already told us all he has it because he's a fucking moron
And is it Obama making an alien documentary? He's doing anything but helping
He's literally anything but anything useful as an ex-president he'll he'll do
Yeah
All right, so
But yeah, that's my problem a problem makes me upset
I think that the the the very center of this is the mystery that we'll never explain and I think we can shelve it for a couple years
Wow, I think that at this point what we are seeing is
evidence of every single
piece of conspiracy theory thought
That has been ridiculed that has been put out and we are now watching in real time be exposed
And nothing
Is more important than that story. Yeah, and with that
We go get out of this
Maybe hit our fucking music my
It's an island adventure. It's an island adventure
Hey, yeah, it's Jeffrey time
Oh my god, so I made it through about a half an hour of less Wexner's deposition. Oh, this is what you want to start with
So this fucking piece of fucking shit. I have never oh my god. Natalie hurt me in the other room
I'm just watching this really not very good at keeping a secret dude. Oh my god
So I'm in the room. I sound like I'm at the Baptist, right? I'm just yelling at my screen
I'm just sitting here. I'm watching him talk and I'm just going mother fucker mother fucker
You know like it's over and over again like I need a documentary made about me. Yeah, and not enough laughter at the bathtub, right?
I'm so serious
And so I went and I
I'm cursing at this motherfucker less Wexner
He has a disability now. I'm seeing this thing and I
The next man Greer them when an old man that is he goes from he wants he's he when he leaves that deposition room
Which also had members of they were supposed to have members of Congress, right? None of the Republican showed up
They sent all their assistants four Democrats showed up. I guess just because they had nothing to do
I don't know right they were there. I feel like the Democrats should be busy and the Republicans should be that whatever
That's the most important story of the century. Oh, yeah, who fucking know if you fucking idiots
So less Wexner is getting talked at by these guys and all he does is he goes from
The most powerful billionaire, right? He talks about it in one way when you see him on the news. Yeah, and he goes in there
He is the most aw shucks
Oh, I couldn't even tell you what jeffery was doing
You don't have that type of money to act like that that mother fucking liar
Lied through his teeth. He's laughing
Joking about what's going on. He openly says. I don't think Trump and Epstein were friends
He said he never knew Epstein personally every single time they brought up an email that said like here's him saying stuff like
You and I are embedded together in a crime
Organization and we need to act like it like literally saying out loud. Yeah, keep going
I don't know what he's referring to in these. I don't know what he's talking about in this just the most just like I can't even
I kind of talked about like
Just like so what happened when you found out did jeffery Epstein was stealing money from you
They were trying to find out like a dollar amount and he wouldn't give it to him
It's always like oh, you know
Everything went into chaos when we found out jeffery was a crook and it's like
They just are and what we know that
They forced less wexner force the farmer girl the girl that was
Kidnapped yeah, and kept on the Columbus grounds where less wexner's house was where he allowed jeffery Epstein to live
Next to his house was where she was kept captive and then was forced to change her driver's license to the address of less wexner's house
That seems like hard evidence
right
But he looked at it and he's just like never happened don't know these people don't know what's going on
Just managed to delete everything and then we have the very famous moment where his lawyer Michael Levy
Says if you answer another question with more than five words
I'm gonna fucking kill you
Yeah, the thing is funny enough is that
That the obviously just a clip alone is so deeply enraging right even just watching them joking because he was funny and
Tudid is right in that moment he was talking about how Epstein gave financial advice to Google
Well, that's when he was throwing it that was the one time he threw people under the bus
He threw Jeff Bezos under the bus he threw Google under the bus and he threw Bill Clinton under the bus
There's the only three names he dared mention right now. They're all coming for Clinton because Clinton actually did cut him off in
2008, but I will say I was listening
This is one of those things that are all comes together in ways. He don't understand
So part of what I do to shut my brain off and the crowd knows this
You just keep watching Epstein files. I know but like
So I've been also trying to cut off my body cam footage. I'm trying to like
So I unfortunately I do I listen to old Howard Sterns to just kind of
Delete my brain right I found a bunch of archives of the complete episodes and I listened to them to just sort of relax
I watched this fun documentary about elephant stepping on landmines
Go ahead. Yep. Oh, so they what happened?
They lose their legs and they get prosthetics. It's actually very
Laughing about this is funny for you or it's funny talking about it now. Yes, but the the documentary itself is very upsetting
Yeah, well of course um
But in 2003 they were like offhandedly talking about
Bill Clinton
doing this thing
with
It was ping pong balls. I mean basically
He was him talking about like they were all talking about how he was working with this
young recent high school graduate that big one this like science award
It was like 19 years old and they kept talking about how he was like all over her
And he was like touching her and like doing all the kind of stuff and you can kind of see you like oh, yeah
There's that rapist. Do you think you thought she's maybe you thought she's saxophone? Who knows. I mean she was gold
Very gold
But I made it through about an hour of the less wixner stuff and then I jumped to clips and it's
So deeply responsible and basically what it comes out is is that he is obviously he's the the simplest old man
Awshocks just a he's just a businessman. Yeah, Awshocks. He only like made lingerie the most popular item
He also was very obviously a closet. He's a closet homosexual that is I thought he was out
No, cuz he's
Just brilliantly in love with his wife. Oh, okay. All he does is hide behind his wife
There's like I know people mark us was even getting on me about that about even saying that it's just more just
The only reason why you've been bringing up that about him is you're watching him hide behind his wife
Yeah, cuz he keep the whole time. He's like what my wife would have had nothing to do with that
Yeah, and he keeps doing this thing like his wife kept him out of trouble
That's what all these motherfuckers are doing and it's just why fucking his lanes the only one in prison just lanes a
fucking she open she's gonna
When she gets out of jail, I don't know what she's gonna do, but it's it's gonna be bad
I think that whatever we we need to keep more than close eyes on just lane
I also have gotten a lot of feedback because
Honestly, people were like why are you mispronouncing Pam Bondy's name as that truly I had no
Interested learning it. Yeah, and when I first I never you guys have to understand guys is that I am it's what they deserve
I'm new to actually reading the news news. Yeah, right? I don't the news news
It's not something I normally had to pay attention to I very rarely even cared about who was district attorney and all these
Fucking people because I was a piece of shit. We need to be going back to a Buffalo Wild Wings being able to sell boneless wings under the name boneless
Yes, that's our terror that was my terror to be able to get to that today
So I'm learning about this. I'm learning things. So now I know her that I know that cunt's name is Pam Bondy
All right, and I hope she gets torn apart by dogs yes, so that's it
This is all just to try to add more mystery because people don't or actually
Don't want to talk about the real stuff like how Jeffrey Epstein and just Lane Maxwell went to the very very high end and basically
We're one of the main donors for about a decade of this very very fancy private economy called interlocking
Which is where chapel rone went I want you guys to remember this too. Oh, this is one of those little things that you like forget
Yeah, as people right any and I were talking about this just in this this fear about how we're lucky
Few chance saying no
kept us out of really bad places because you felt like a feeling about a guy
Yes, now that you now know was on the Epstein list. You didn't hang out with him. Yes. Thank it's weird, right?
How like all these things are all connected interlocking is one of those places where would you ever wonder why
A starlit appears out of nowhere, right? Like you wonder why like oh my god was given to us was was past
She had like she like showed up at some big Hollywood party and like played guitar
She was walking down the stairs. She has a song written a song was given to her. She wrote the whole she came down
It was a whole Jennifer Lawrence was given was created right just great
You know stop there's no the wrong just remembering that every single time you are one of you at one of these elite things
You actually do have quite a potential to rub up against some of the most
Fucking despicable people in the face of the planet. Yeah because money seems to bring them. Yeah
Harvey Weinstein was at all the same events as Jeffrey Epstein while they were both donating to Democrats
Yes, we know that they were on the other side and they did that to fucking cover up for themselves
So interlocking the interlocking center for the arts is this amazing idyllic
Now I guess it's about a hundred years old. It's outside of Traverse City and it has a large amount of celebrity
The all these like celebrities kind of came out of it. There's a lot of people that went and trained their trapperones one
I just kind of brought it up in the fact that like
You just be surprised who gets if you get to the right places who has access to you
And then what people want to go to julyard of course. It's because it's there. It's like
There's and it has a pipeline. There's like a thing you're getting involved Harvard in an institution
Jeffrey Epstein did the same thing. So he would go and he like so he gave them he donated this building to interlocking
And then he from I guess it was called Zorro Ranch. Oh God I wish
And from 94 and 2000 he uh spade he would go and stay at interlocking with jislane
And then what they would do is they would walk a little dog a little terror a little Yorkshire terror
And they would walk and they would find a freshman
And they would talk to him and then they'd get to know him and they'd bring him out to the private house
start to groom him
happen
Many many many times of course the school said we never had any complaints
Yeah, which is you know mostly just because these things is that we don't understand is that in order for them to have a complaint
They have to receive the complaint and then enter it
Yeah, into some form of book or some care about it. They have to
Say it's a complaint. So what they can do is say
They didn't get any complaints even though we have one mother basically
There's one may I had a whole crusade against Jeffrey Epstein right while during all that so a while this was happening
And they hushed it all up right he gave 400 grand to this to the place or a decade
They now disavowed him they took his names off of everything obviously that makes sense now they have like the money
They have
Send that money back to Jeffrey Epstein's estate. You know, so we're donated to fucking people or child people who are
Yeah, some kind of it's hard right because I do understand
They are what they're doing is it's manipulating places that are in desperate need of money. Yeah, these high
High end I've access to younger people. Yeah. Oh, yeah, and so he he they need the money and so he
Jeopardy Epstein probably the single most effective
pedophile network organizer
Maybe ever since the old days
Like he put his fingers
He put his fingers on these great industries that he could manipulate very easily
With his tremendous amount of cash that he got from who
Less Wexner that's how it all started and lots of other people none of this is possible without less Wexner
He did start it all nothing of this is possible when Epstein was down and out he was staying at Wexner's house
Yes, and also this is so that was one thing looking to that there's a whole NPR stuff on it
It's fucking wild on interlocking, but the main piece of news. Yeah, the big one. Yeah, they got old boy
Oh
Andy
I was so sad the day that our episode came out they finally arrest Andrew Montbatom Windsor formerly known as Prince
They arrested his fat
Sweaty ass. They brought him in for a couple hours of the very first time
They was this neck fatter than his head
Because that's where the food stays
He did it was like the first person
What was it the first person arrested first royal arrested? I think since 1674 as soon as I saw that he was arrested
I was like fuck this this could have been the thousand years ago since the last time a prince was arrested dude
We are now seeing the UK actually gives us a sort of shit, right? They all they released them. They got it
Well, they
Because he's probably God knows what he said now. It's all about what what can we get what is what's the evidence?
You better kill me because I know too much shit all the evidence is gone. Either way all the evidence is gone at this point
It doesn't matter what did come out was my favorite piece. What's his 72 teddy bears
So prince Andrew the not pedophile
Keeps an entire collection of little teddy bears trust as navy men
Each one is so particular that um, they are uh that he was he was so enraged
To be downgraded from his home to the farm that they put him at right yeah that because one of the big reasons as he said
I don't know if my bass can handle the move
Oh, you see the thing is you can have 72 teddy bears. You just can't care about them. This guy
Well, he's and that's has to be something because I have 10 stuffed animals full of disclosure
You like yeah, that's what you're 10 stuffed animals. You're a cute guy. Yeah, I enjoy I enjoy
I mean half of them are orcas. Yeah, what am I supposed to give them to you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't buy them
I bought a couple I bought the do dog. I like the do dog
And I bought it like she's saying that it's like cocaine that it's okay as long as you don't buy it. Yes. Yeah, okay
So he was uh the Sarah talked about like he's just disgusting
He's just another example of a disgusting piece of shit and we now there's some talk
So as we know that the russians taught Epstein a skill of putting cameras in Kleenex boxes
So that was like one of the thing that he would do as a thing blows. Oh
Any
And there was some talk about whether or not so Andrew used to go through with a fine tooth comb with his help
To make sure that they were all properly organized by size and shape
And they had to be done. It would take hours for them to do it properly. Yes. I knew what else they doing. He had two people
They got into something organized the teddy bears again. I don't know fucking know who fucking knows
I wish I had someone to go through my DVDs
I'm gonna fix my tire pressure
And these guys like the it is just the he's just such a fucking pervert and
They might kick him kick him out
Well, they've got to put him in prison
There's no, they didn't even get him on the child shit. That was the part that fucked me up the most. They got him on espionage
Yeah, so they have him dead two rights
An information that he sent to Epstein about financial moves that the
The fucking royals were doing so that he could get in on it
It's the definition of insider trading and so he
Parents prince Andrew dating of course because they don't they don't got them
This it's it's fun. It's sad out there ladies
We know that it's extremely sad out there for women in order for them to this is what we were saying
This is why cash but tell our fuck that fucking moron that's the reason why he said there was nothing to go on is because there's literally no
Video of Trump's face next to a newspaper with his penis entering into a child like there is no that and even that wouldn't necessarily
It's like they that's what they're saying yeah in terms of there's no quote-unquote smoking gun
Because it's extremely difficult as we know to litigate out and do sexual assault for regular people never mind
For that because it's like because they hold this burden of proof like it's just like fucked up thing a woman has a woman gets raped
Has to go deal with an extreme physical
Search you have to go up inside you do all this you get a rape kit done the right and then they just sit hours
Yes, and then it just sits and then they just go and so
I think that it's gonna be a they're not gonna get we're not gonna get the justice we want
Jeffrey Epstein being dead is the closest thing we got
I mean someone's got to go down. I mean Adi had just quit you know lots of people fucking
Contbondi busic just said straight up there with that's woman caller
Contbondi basically just said we're not they're done
We're not well. They're done for now until the fucking shit switches over and then we arrest her ass first
Democrat with a spine and I will show you and I will I might think
I these are how many people from Trump's first term went to prison
I don't even know the number. It's gotta be 20. Yeah, it doesn't make it doesn't matter. It's gonna happen again
They're all gonna get locked up except for him
But then they get less than they get released again
I'm gonna get released and then we all get everybody goes playing like good game
And Democrats are helping to go good game get everybody. Yeah, and walk away
Peter Till just gives a bunch of money to fucking everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so these people can be fucking
People suck my fucking dick. Well, you know how I agree. Yeah, but I'm trying to figure out how to be funny about it
I think Andrew's gonna get any time or anything. No, you don't think for the espionage nothing
No, I think that's what he will get
Hopefully there's an opportunity
To kill himself in jail
That is what I think I think that he's gonna get an opportunity to off himself. He is legitimately
such a
He is a massive liability. Yes, King Charles is trying to figure out what to do
But King Charles is gonna be dead soon and I think that his waste of space panty boy son is also gonna not just gonna
Shoot the bed. Well, he's gonna be king. Yeah, well, guess what good good. That's done. I thought they have power
They use a new Jackson so they're gonna say again another group of fake ass people gonna ask my fucking D
Where's out freaking? How freaking's done? Yeah
He broke
I wish I wish he didn't but he definitely we gotta find out who cares man. Honestly
All I know is I think just if I'm curious to yell it
I definitely believe that Peter Buttigieg is gonna lead the whole
Gillotine of the whole government. Don't worry
That brave man is absolutely gonna step to the entire pedophile ring
Can we just make sure we're given Bernie the same drug cocktail that are given Trump
Like can we just make sure he stay alive if you gave Bernie Sanders speedy die
He has to be at Vermont speed
Yeah, that's as fast as he can go. Jesus. All he could take. He's already had his moment
I have no idea how he's still alive. I have no idea how he's still alive. He's older than all of them. I just
We need a new batch. We do need a new batch. We could use a couple. We need all of them new step up you fucks
Who all right. I don't know. Maybe your sister
Speaking of
Jackson brosky
She will be a guest here on side stories
Here she comes
Yeah, recording
He's got her little baby smasher in there. Her little baby thrush
Catcher more than a smasher
And release
No, I ain't releasing him. I ain't releasing
If your baby lawn mower diesel
Don't use yet let it gasoline
Whoa, like then it'll set on fire. Honestly, it's a good old-fashioned propane
And then you can also grill some meats on top of the lips if you want
This is Jackie's a brosky my sister. She is talking about
Her are you do? Yes, and you might know her from LPN Romantician page 7 and who's the bitch?
Is the bitch. I'll tell you the fucking bitches. Is he you? It's me. Yeah
Yeah, cuz I voted this year
So this year
I had an old ballot
I filled it out. That is filled it out willy-nilly. That is really good. I saved my I voted stickers and wear them on random days
Just to like confuse people
What did I do? Why did I make sure of first of all? Also, did you wear this Mariah Carey shirt for me?
Oh, I love my Mariah Carey shirt
Yeah, I got it. Yeah, we we got it at the show. I like this shirt because her press
I like wearing a panceless
Like I'm Mariah Carey and it doesn't look like balls are hanging out with Joey says go. Oh my god
Get in here. All right now Mariah your balls have gotten so big
All right, let's try nipples on the balls. Let's pause here now and loud Jackie her time the reason why Jackie is here today
She's reclaiming her time. Yes. She is actually here to plug something that's not on the network
Yes, and I'm not talking about plugging up this hole on the bottom or plugging up this hole up top
Unless that's what you're into you should give slash pick a try and while that sounds like you're going to be putting
Whatever you've got inside of my holes. Well, the answer is yes in a way. Are you plugging the project?
I am slash thick check it out
It is a dating sim game where you can have sex with slasher's that are based on different IP
So I
I mean they are it's like there's leather
There's there's a mic who's based off of Michael Myers mine is there's no like Dahmer
No, no, no, no, no, only only you know IP killers. Oh, that's fine. So my yeah, so they're these big sexy guys
And now we've got slash thick cuffing season, which is the second part of this and I'm coming in my name is penny
I am a harlequin clown. I am based off of penny wise and I
Can know your deepest fees. Is there like a Jason who's like really fat and stupid and all the kids fuck with them
No, no, no, they're all just really hot. You just really want to in fact, I feel like a hockey player Jason
Not in this. I mean, he did rivalry crossover waiting to happen
No, they get this pass by all these various copyright boards. Yo, because that's the thing is that they're not it's just it's an illusion
That's why I'm penny and I look nothing like penny wise
Honestly, I'm really excited for you to enter into the world of video games
This is something you have been obsessed with for a very long time. I love dating games. I love
I've been playing dating games for so long and I have been wanting to voice a character in one of these games
And honestly, what's really cool about this company is that it's a woman
Get your balls up woman. Oh nice woman owned and they are trying to have the creators keep their IP
So a lot of the money goes directly to the creators. It is funded by the creators is for the creators
And in fact, I am now currently working on my own
cryptid fuck game so that we can start banging cryptid
Yes, so I will you know
She's down deep in the barrels of coding as just she just like pennies a chick
Yeah
Okay, I was like but Jackie's playing
Yeah, that's what I was I was weird is that why would you have an amorphous blob
Play the one the pictures up but Rob pulled up the picture up there
So I've got this like cat mask on and I'm they wanted me to be a bit of like a really insane southern bell
And so you you either get fucked by the slasher or you get killed by us
You wonder the other I work and they find it they can find it on the app Dorian get the app Dorian
And all of it is free and you can now then like as you're playing the game
You can give your money directly to the creators for the crazier scenes
Like this full titties
They just say there's more
You fuck priest
There's not titties and dicks in it, but it is very it is written
For us romant to see lovers out there and it's very fun
Honestly a lot of
female identifying and queer people that are writing
beautiful stories
Where I had no idea that I wanted to be called a piggy piggy by leather face
You know
And I'm sick of people making an insult
How do I do like why
Julie find it when you call do you say quiet piggy to Julie?
We like we love our piggy talks Julie doesn't mind it at all
I know I'm not even ending this to any other husband
You understand my love of piggy and she knows that when I say piggy it is a compliment
It's a compliment to her because pigs are smart
You want more than a fucking toddler? I'll tell you that much
Absolutely on I call my wife a woman
Yeah
How about crampers?
Crampers should have been a woman for periods
Oh why
Cramps
Oh because the cramps
Yeah, I don't know
I didn't even think that honestly I haven't had a cramp in like 10 years
So I don't I don't know what to do. Yeah, she is a kid a cramp. We started talking about the IUD
Oh wow
That's full circle
That's amazing
Yeah, I don't realize it did more than that
Yeah, it zaps it all the way
Amazing
But now we have the positive plug out of the way
Yes
And now it's time for you to enter into the world of side stories
Because I'm sick of all the positivity you've been talking about
Up until this point
I am I am over it
I do a lot of positivity as well
I know on the brighter side
Sick and the other show
So you're upset with both of us
I know I'm just saying
It's time to bring you both down a peg
All right
All right
So we got this first great story today
You talked about fallen in love
What is like getting out there dating
But no one ever really talks about the perils of marriage
I feel like that's a good thing that nobody really talks about marriage
You know, you're married now Jackie
I am married
I like the Sherals of marriage
Well, you know, it's a lot of Sherals in marriage
If Sherals not being a big old bitch
Sounds like you're stepping out with Sherals
But the one thing you know
One thing you could take to the bank
Is that you don't actually know your partner
Never the person you're sleeping next to
Is a labyrinth of mirrors
Someone that you'll never really even know
Even if they are a previous American idol contestant
Whoa
Put the dog down
No, I can't
You don't know
You're being distracted
I can't hold people around
You're being distracted
You're being distracted
You look how sad he is
Look at this, look at this
You're going to yell at him like that
He did this to me earlier
Champ gets numbers
You kidding me?
This is for the Netflix crowd
I forgot, yeah, this is this
This is for Netflix
We're fluffin' it
Yeah, what are you talking about?
This is champs good
This is our bet
This is our bet
Apologize to him
Apologize to champ
I'm sorry, champ
Thank you
Well anyway, let's talk about this guy
Do you watch American Idol?
No, I don't
You know
No, I've never watched American Idol
I watched dancing with the stars
This year for the first time though
I did too
It was surprisingly enjoyable
Delightful
What an absolute delight
Watching that robberger
When just, oh
Oh, oh
What did robberville
When kill his kill his fucking family?
I think
No, no, no
Oh, is it the number that killed the stingray?
And that's so respected it
He should have fucking
Got revenge for his life
For his father's stingrays
He should have been every day
Cookie cuttering the fucking waste
He should wake up every day
And stomp a stingray to death
No
On the side of his boat
He should have a stamp
Every time he kills a stingray
Yes, that stingray would align through it
You're right, he's a pussy
Does it rip its guts out
When it stings you did the stingray
At least
Have the guts ripped out like the bees
No, it doesn't do work like that
It just stabbed the heart with the barb
It's an assassin
Yeah
They're quiet assassins
That is in petting zoos
Yes, speaking of a quiet assassin
So this young man
A champ
This guy by the name of
He's a cute guy
Cute guy
He is by the name of Caleb Flynn
He is a pastor
And he is a former American Idol contested
Let's hear his interview
Over on American Idol
Okay
Rob
He's gonna start playing the guitar for me
That's exactly what he does
My name is Caleb Flynn
I'm from Tip City, Ohio
I audition because
I don't even get to say sorry
Music is all I know
It's what I live to do
And I love to sing
So that's why I audition
Maybe my wife kind of nudged me a little bit too
My first thought when I got my golden ticket
Honestly all I could do was
Cover my face
Because I cried a little bit
Kind of a crybaby
You get it from my mom and my dad
But it was honestly just pure joy
Excitement
I tried out for American Idol
Two or three years ago and I didn't make it
And so to get this was all the more
Sweeter and all the more
Mini-full
So it was awesome
The person that inspires me
To be an informer I guess would say
Would say the Lord
I'm a music pastor
And so that's my job every week
Is to go up there and to sing
And to connect
What I do on stage the congregation
So first and foremost
Obviously is the Lord
Thing that makes me unique
You know
I absolutely love the Lord
I love my wife
She is very very pretty
She's cool
Do you call her a piggy?
Cut
Get rid of this guy
Send him back to the Lord
That made him
No
It is a good chance that happens
I will say I do think that he did that his own wife
He did it justly
But he said he loved his wife
And you know what that means he means
He loved her a little too much
We'll see what happens
So we did one of my favorite things in true crime
Is when a man calls in
And tells the 9-1-1 operator
Exactly how he murdered the person
But in a third person way
And if somebody else had done it
So he calls and the first thing he goes is
You know I need an ambulance
So like well what's the prop me or sir
And he's like my wife is shot
Three times in the head
He's like he's so much chaos
Three separate shots in the head
I don't know how
And they're like are the kids still in the house
He's like yes
Yes the murderer might still be in there
And they're like oh my god
Do you think that the kids are okay
And he's like oh oh yeah
Do you even pretend to check out of
Did Brett?
No none of it
So he does one of those and then he looks a lot
Different post murder of his wife
Yeah, he's got what we call school bus head
Well now that 13 years of past
Since he was on American Idol
I think the issue is as that what we're seeing here is age
Yeah and that the Lord abandoned him finally
What I do like is that as he got older
His hair concentrated on a more pinpoint part of his skull
Yeah he looks like a conehead
He looks like he's becoming a conehead
He's mid transformation
Maybe that's why he killed her
He never got out of tip city
Never left tip city
Stay in there
Get out
Stay in there
Couldn't he never gave the whole thing
No slightly in there
Then right back out
Jackie do you remember
Do you ever watch worse cooks
Oh yeah
Food Network
Yeah
Yeah
Most of all
The NBarell story
Is
Daryding
Absolutely
I don't know what you're talking about
Oh NBarell
Somebody I loved on Food Network
Has now
Died by suicide
And it's the most hardcore
Non-lesbian lesbian
You've ever seen in your life
Very sad
She had a hair
She had a hair like a
Fucking
Napalm tsunami
And she was
Ake
She was quite a
Quite a leader
On the Food Network show
Worst Cook
You liked her breasts
Didn't you
No she's gross
Okay
But I mean
That was a stressful way
I mean
That was a respectful way
She's not
No
She's not like
She's not like that
I mean
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry everybody
That was my best
Everybody's upset
It's fine
I'm threats
I'm threats
All right
And I need you to understand that
That's what makes you such a great host
Yes
I have a chance to talk
And we should be thanked for allowing him to run this network
So what are
I'm
My disability makes me
Special and fun
I'm like the BBC
We have nothing
Yes
We do
We do
Two of them
Oh god
So
In Lord
But in Burrell
So she was found
In a cascade of pills
Dead in her shower
And they just now
Released that there was a suicide note
She had kept a suicide journal
And then do you remember
Also for Worst
Worst Cook
Yes
Where she had kept a separate document
Where she was writing all of her sad
Boxes
Extremely sad
It really fucked up
It's very sad
But and also on Worst Cook
It's totally against journaling
Right
Journal journaling is the problem
I don't need
I know how many people we know
And have gotten
Someone read their journal
And they had to break up with a significant other
Well it's because you
You should be reading their journal
I know
But the person
It's always the person
That's why the journal is wrong
And it has to rest
This is the problem though
Is that I remember
I'll never forget
When mom came into my room after
Having read my journal
And she wrote
If you don't want someone to know something
Never write it down
She's like
That's not
What is this like
Coastal Nostra
Right
I just know
I was like
It's just my
I love that rob
Immediately brought up
The diary
And Frank
I'm sorry
It's a diary
It's a diary
She did it
Let's get back to the story
It's Kenny
So I was
Want to talk about
What
It's also for Worst Cooks
That lady that killed her child
That one
Worst Cooks in season two
She killed her child
She killed her child
Food poisoning
I know
My question is Jackie
What is it with
Reality television show people
Enter crime
Like they're not real celebrities
They're just fucking shoved into
Shoved into its celebrity
I asked
They don't have to earn it
I asked the woman
Think about
Honestly
Think about the stunt casting
Of the show Chicago
Right
It's being infamous
It's the idea that
Roxy Heart is always
Oftentimes brought in
To be played by a celebrity
Why are you making this
Jump into Chicago land
Why did we do
On page seven we've been talking about
Whitney from
Secret lives of Mormon wives
Is playing Roxy Heart
But she's not the first time
A Roxy Heart is like
Pam Anderson has played her like
Yeah, they just don't cast it
But it's because the reason why
They stunt cast that specific
It's because of
The especially with like
Reality television stuff like that
It's the idea of being infamous
Why was Renee Zellwa
Garina in the Oscar-wimneying film
Because she won Oscars to do it
After the fact
Yeah, that was
But she knew what she was going to go catch
She should've been
We'll release a Marie Presley
She can't pick her anymore
Wait, she's dead
Well, yeah, back in the day
She was too old then by then to play her
What is she going to play up against
Catherine Zeta Jones
Catherine Zeta Jones was like
65 years old in that film
No, she's not
She's not even 69 years old
No, she's not even 69 years old
I'm trapped
Oh, sorry
I'm trapped
I think it is the idea
I'm sorry, Henry
I apologize
Becoming famous no matter what
I think there is that like
Part of like even in like
You look at a Whitney
From secret lives of Roman wives
That she was straight up like
Oh, you want me to be the villain
In this show
So that I can get on Broadway
She's openly said
I will like keep giving me the villain
And it's I'll keep being this bitch
If it means I'm going to have a career
After this
And so that's kind of how they spun it
And so why should we kill these people
Do they sing 25 or 6 to 4
Chicago
Yeah, they threw the big band version of Chicago
That's through the you know
The half time we both
We both the gun we both we both the gun
We both more saxophone
Yes
All right, so that's I guess you could say that
Catherine Zeta Jones was approximately 31 to 33 years old
During the production of Chicago
Approximately approximately
Approximately
In her age 50s
If you have to put her ages approximately
During a time period
There is some doubt
She's got secret
Of course
And don't bring this up in front of Mariah Carey
Mariah Carey is pretended to not have a birthday
For many many years
Mariah Carey was forged
Yeah
She was not born
Mariah Carey was forged
By natural water
Oh yeah
Yeah, that was like the now the movement of water
That is so yeah
Oh yeah
Yes
So what's your advice for this guy?
Oh, well
Sounds like you're each aware of his problem
The main the main problem was that he put the three bullets in her head
And didn't save any for the kids
Because now he's got to go be a single father
Slashvik
You know
The game is coming out
You got to go to Dorian
That's big
Dorian man
Also if you're listening to this on Wednesday
And if you happen to be in LA
Check out the ripped bodice
Because your wife and I
Are going to be doing a monsters against ice show
It's pro monster fucking
As long as those monsters
Are not a member of ice
Oh
How many of you are 100% of the donations go
Towards churla as well
What about the Epstein list
What about
I think that your wife is doing enough
Work on Epstein list
In some of her other things
I sometimes wonder if
If we're in the Epstein list
But like walking around inside of it
Like it's the back rooms
That's how to Natalie and I are right now
Yes
That we just sort of kiss
Finding the monster
We talk about what we just read in a separate room
You know, some different variants
So Natalie goes from the Epstein list
To like straight up fucking monsters
Yes
And then you expect to have normal conversations with her
We don't
I know
No, no, no, no, no
I don't expect to have what
What
It's been very crazy
Because I recently
I was watching the process
Of my husband's mother die
And during all of this
I've been listening to these
From top to bottom
Super nuts
Oh yeah
Watch it
It's starting at the hair
But it's I'm a god to the toes
I was like she's dust
But I've been listening to these
Just monster
And like these
This like people are getting railed
By 12 foot bass lists
And then
I'm holding my husband
As he's crying
And I'm just listening to this
And you know
The dichotomy of life
Isn't it beautiful
It really is
And speaking of the dichotomy of life
There's so many ways for us to try to get back to nature
Yes
You know, we love monster
Yes, and we've been talking about monster
Yeah, I do
It's really hard
Because I feel like
We've been separated from nature
By technology
You're right
We've been separated
From our natural instincts
Yeah
And I think that's why it's really good to have you here
To talk about the Kentucky man that was found covered in fur
After he was allegedly
Caught having sex with a deer's corpse
Now what when you say covered in fur
Are we talking he glued it to himself
I don't think it was that organized
Okay
I think he's skinned a deer
Oh
Put on its fur
And then
Fucked it's skinless corpse
Eleanor's born
The same one
Didn't go out to find another deer
You know, it's surprisingly
Not that much information in this article
And for that, I want to say
Shame on you, local twelfth
Shame on you, W-C
I have so many questions
We already have a cover up happening
From the merry-tipety top
Of the government all the way on down
And you don't want us to know
Whether or not he got the hair
Separate from the deer's corpse
He was fucking
Yes, he was covered in fur
For all we know it's dog fur
To be honest, he's fucking an
Intact dead deer
But I don't think that's what it was
He also
Could just be
Polish Italian
Oh
I mean
If you saw me fucking a dead deer
And I also happen to be covered in dirt
Let's just pause at this
Right
Because right now it seems to be the big issue
Is as that someone saw him
Covered in fur
That was even to be the big issue
Right
And they thought
They saw him fucking a corpse
On the side of the other road
They called the cops
They got him
At first it was this whole big idea
That he was covered in fur
But now I'm certain to think
If I was dirty
Right
In a ditch
I'm in a retention pond
I'm fucking a deer corpse
Right
I'm covered in brown hair
Okay
If I'm already covered in brown
Brown brown hair
If I get slathered with dirt
It's very possible
You would think I'm covered in fur
Yeah
I'm fucking the thing
Right
So the thing is very possible
Looking at the man himself
I think that Alan Osborne
Might have touched back hair
So they're saying you're triggered by this
Feel that
No
He could have not been covered in hair
He could have not been covered in fur
I'm commiserating
And to be a Sherlock Holmes
Okay
That's what you're doing
I'm unpacking
You know
Do you think that the
That the sheriff's
The people of this fine county
Do you think that they think it's better
If he was pretending to be a deer
Fucking the other deer
That like they're like
We got to let everybody
Know he's covered in fur
Because like
At least he thought he was a deer
Fucking another deer
That's very optimistic of you
And I like that way of look
That way of thinking
Thank you
Yeah, I actually think
That they like the idea that he's covered in fur
Because we're
And this might be a big jump
Literally
But they're like
Farries
That's right
That's them's fur
That's them's fur
This fur
They're pretty scary
They're scary
And they're head
They're meaty like
Oh my god
San Francisco
San Francisco
San Francisco is here
Run and are edible roadcale
They're coming down here
No
That roadcale was for it
That was for it
And for stew
All right
But that might
He might
He might
The dirty
Yeah
He might
He might
He might
He don't
He don't
Yes
And it's disgusting
When it's
He put his combala hair is juicing it
It's his combala hair is juicing
It's his combala hair is juicing
He does look ashamed
I will say that
Yes
Because he look ashamed
He got caught
His heads
His eyes are down
I think
He's talking straight into the camera
Yeah
Well
That'd be
Awesome
If he was looking in the camera
$10,000 what smile
Like full
Like if he had full
Like veer
Veer
Yes
Hi
Actually, this is a perfect time to bring this up
This is a part of our monster fucker show
Because there is a dog shifter
In the world of Sookie Stackhouse
Who's like
He is a hot guy
Regularly
He's just like the owner of this bar
But then she
Started seeing this coli
At night
And then she started noticing
All these pregnant dogs around town
A lot of these are wearlassies
So he's a
Yes, he's a wearlassies
It's all the animal fucking stuff
But then that's my question for you though
Is he a
Does he have a human brain
When he's a dog
Like if he's in his dog form
Does he still have a human brain
And so it's the human brain
Choosing to fuck other dogs
Or is it a dog's brain
So he has no control over it
It's a dog's brain
There's no way another man with a brain
A normal brain is trying to fuck dogs
Unless he's thinking that the dogs are attractive
When he's a man
How does he shift back into being a human
If he has a dog's brain
Because it's his job
The whole thing switches back
It's a wearlassie
How do you understand it better
Lassie at night man during the day
He understands nothing
But that's not even the case
He can chew his shifts at will
I think here's a
I know you're right
Thank you
I'm sorry
I think he's a fucking pervert
You should be arrested
Well, this is what I was saying
That there are times that you are like
You're supposed to be like attracted to this character
And the book and I'm like
I can't be because in my head
He's a dog that fucks other dogs
This is the thing
Again
I could get this off the screen
Get that dog inside her
Get off the screen
It is just a dog
And this is my problem
Yes
Is it anything involving dog penises
Makes me want to put a gun in my fucking mouth
And the idea of this
Oh man
My new boy
His little penis came out for the first time
Oh my god
We saw it
We saw it
It's such a good day
Chop
What was he looking at
I really
A july laugh
Oh my god
Chop it
Chop it
Chop it
We're good
We're cutting this nuts off
But I was happy
And I think it's showing
That he's starting to get comfortable
It's nice
It's too comfortable
Yeah
All right, let's get out of it
Well, do you think
I don't find the monsters having sex
Like like
I'm in monsters
That's why I just pause at the question
Like that's not what I'm into
Yeah
The cops said that he was actually kind of horny
And then he got mad
He's like I'm
Antlery
I'm sorry
Yeah
Yeah
And he's brilliant
And he's brilliant
From Northland
Jackie sear on a short amount of time
And we I wanted to do something before
She's a lot to leave
Okay
So on her
Show page seven
She works with MJ Nuffal obviously for many years
She's a little
Thing that she likes to do on her show is segment
She's like to do snack corner
I like it because you keep called it snack attack
You call it snack corner
You've called it almost everything except its name
Which is literally Jackie's
Snackies
It rhymes with my name
But I like that
You hate it
I know
And Henry kept saying
I'm gonna snack attack you on Tuesday
I'm a snack attack you on Tuesday
And I was like I don't know what that means
I'm trying to embrace you
I appreciate this
And so what I saw this never happened
No, no, we don't touch each other
Like when they're dead
No hugs
We totally touch each other
Yeah
And we're not a touchy family
Not a touchy family
And so time to touch
So I wanted to do
I want to just snack attack you
Okay
All right
So Jackie's snack attack
Everybody knows the segment
And so no it's Jackie's snackies
So Jackie finds obscure snacks
And she springs them on her people
Right the gas on the show
But most of the time they're pleasant
And you like them
You like them
Yes
This one I try to be nice
Yes
Have you had any bad ones?
Sure
Of course we have
What's the worst snack you've had?
Well, uh oh
We had that we got the Thanksgiving Oreos
And specifically they had a roasted turkey Oreo
That was it
It smelled so much like roasted turkey
And an Oreo mixed together
But the turkey was so turkey
That it true
Like I did throw up
Yeah, Jack
And that was apparently threw up as well
Yes
I made sure there was no turkey in it
For there wasn't any actual turkey
No, there's no real food in this thing
I saw this
And I knew
You had to try this
And I knew the only way it was going to happen
Is if we did it on camera or on mic
I'm so scared
I saw this, I have to eat it too
No
Oh, I saw this, I have to do it
This, we're not sponsored by them
We have no idea if they know
And I think that these are fine
So every year apparently
Progress those soups
Puts out
A series of hard candies
That they run out immediately
And I had no idea that they did this
We do good put
We are still doing good put
With good put season two
Coming out
We're coming at you
But by the way
I find the the term hard candy offensive
Thank you
I'm sorry I have Tourette's
And so
Progressive
I said I'm sorry
I love I'm sorry I have Tourette's
And so
This one is when you
It's the new things for this week
For this week I can do it
Quite big
And so this one I have here
This is a
They are Progressive Soup Drops
The tagline is soup you can suck on
Ooh
Now
Oh wow
Oh wow
They are limited edition
Wow
They sell on immediately
I don't buy an eBay
I have heard about these
I've never been able to get them before
You got them on eBay
I want them on eBay for you
Wow
They just be free in nursing homes
They come in three flavors
I get wars in this
Oh my god
It's their food cans
Yep
So this one soup drops
This one is
So they have a big one
Italian wedding
They give you a big one of chicken noodles
I love this
So this is Italian wedding
So what they do here is
They give you a can of soup
Right so this is a can of chicken noodles
So you can compare
What do you know where it's what it is
What it is
Yeah no no that's some progress
Is that soup in there
You know these are soup drops
No I guess is it chunky
Like is there a
Melty center
Now it says here
Natural flavors
Natural flavors
Mmm
Oh okay
It's natural
Wait but there's different kinds inside the soup
It is beef pot roast
Cool
Chicken noodle
Ooh
And tomato basil
Which one would you like to try
Tomato basil is probably the only one
That's actually kind of maybe good
I feel like if I'm going to do this
I should eat the beef pot
First of all let's you know
Let's hear it pop
Yeah we know they're fresh
Oh wow
Oh yeah
Tennis balls
Okay here we go
I would think we could figure out
Which one is which by color
I would
Now I don't know
It has to be beef
There are all levels
The darkest
It has to be beef
Hmm
Yeah they'll know they definitely look like
There's little chunky chunky
Which one do you want to do Jackie
Do you want a red or you want a brown
I guess I want a
I feel like if I'm going to do this
I should do a beef pot roast
But Henry does that mean you're going to do chicken noodle
I'm going to take whatever this red is
Red is obviously tomato basil
Well then I'll do
But one of it's like a brown
I'll do tomato basil
I'll do tomato basil
Because I feel like that's like a bloody Mary
Here we go
This should this might be beef
Yeah this is with a shot of vodka
That's it
Yeah
I want to see what you think
Should we do it all at the same time
Or should we take turns
Let's do it at the same time
Okay, all right
Watch out, champ
Oh no, there's an opportunity
I don't want this
He probably would love it
One, three, two, one
Oh god
My taste looks spaghetti-os
Yeah
I kind of like mine
Honestly
Yeah, there's tomato basil
I like it
Mine's tomato basil
How'd you get tomato basil
You don't like the beef
You don't like the beef
Where's the beef, champ?
Wait, this one's not good
Try this one's not good
Try one or the other one
Try this one's not good
That one, you want some of my coffee
Try it that one
Watch it that one's not good
That one's not good
I like it
There's a Mario up
I like the tomato basil
It tastes spaghetti-os
Yeah
I love spaghetti-os
Everyday I used to get home from school
And I'd put on the Heidi cartoon
And I'd eat like two cans
Two cans
I was a big boy
I just took it off to Heidi
You're sweet
Actually, the tomato basil
There's actually much sweeter than I expected it to be
The tomato basil one is sweet
The other one
Does taste like roasted beef
In a hardened form
The tomato basil one I would actually suggest to people
This is where
Yeah, honestly, I don't even want it
I'm just throwing it out
Just because I don't
Barf bucket
We have barf buckets
Yeah, we brought
No, the tomato basil actually really is still
No, it's okay
More delicious than I expected
It's probably just like a bouillon cube
It's like sucking on a bouillon cube
I mean, you're talking my language
Some people eat bouillon cubes
You know, some people really need that dose of sodium
And I think I'll bless it
You know, come explain it
You can beef them
Come on, isn't it my tongue burn
It is a
I feel like the flavors not going to go away anytime soon
It's still in my mouth
Yeah, yeah, it's really eye
Just cut yours out
Yeah, just because I'm in the microphone
It is I know we'll say sorry for everybody
That hates the mouth sounds out there
I couldn't give a fucking shit
The mouth sound
If you have me so fun that hates it
Two people love it
Now, you know what it is
If you can't
I understand the meast of phoning people
I get it every single time we always get emails about it
But guess what man
If you can't handle little tiny sounds
How the fuck are you going to deal with 2026
Whoa
It's a shit together
This is a real
Little tiny sound
A lot of Tourette's going on today
Yeah
Hello
Champ my fuckers
Yep
Well, Jackie, why don't you give that plug one last time
So people know where they can find you
Please everybody
Download the app
Dorian and start playing
No champ, you can't eat this cough drop
It's start playing Slashfic
Cuffing season
You know you want to either bang me as a clown
Or get killed by me as a clown
Those are your options
But there are many ways in which
I can kill you
So go check them all out
At Slashfic
Cuffing season
Do you kiss or is it straight
You know like a brothel rules
No, it's
Let's just say it's not your normal kind of kiss it
Wow
Let's just say
I mean she's still at a nightmare clown
So it's not going to be
Roses over here
But you know
I still think we should have like a really fat
Dumpy kid named Jason
Who everyone like beats up on
Put that in your mood
I love it
If this is a
You were trying to get me to put the squunk
Into my cryptid fuck game as well
Funny was that I always want the sad fat one in there
I think that's fun
The squunker should be great
Because then somebody like
No, but he wants to touch him
But he wants
No, but he wants to
And it just farts out
But you can rail the hell out of a squam
Oh yeah
And I want to see
And I'll sit here and wait till you're done
Counting on it, pounding on it
Yeah, just letting
No, I don't want to just let it happen to him though
Can you imagine what kind of fat piece of shit
You'd have to be that I have cast
But like
Can you imagine what kind of fat piece of shit
You'd have to be to use progressive soup
Suckers as cough drops
Oh my god
Or if to give it to someone
And make them actually feel better
I'm like come on just suck on a little bit of my soul
I mean honestly the chicken soup one
I can see the logic
Yeah, I can see the logic
On that being what you should do
But obviously
I don't want to see it in my mouth
Shouldn't happen
I'll say though
Way less bad than I thought there were going to be
They really were not
I was nervous when you said
You were going to snack attack me
I was like god help us after good put
It really could be absolutely anything
What is good coming back?
It's my favorite show on the network
We're about we are working on the script for it
Okay, we're doing a whole thing for this
All right, no, okay, good
It's going to be great though
And you're it's going to be worth the wait
Can I come back as the bird again?
Yeah
That means we're going to have to go back to the beach
And the Zorowski's on the beach
It's never a good time
Hey, I got the same gucks
The cup size is the net for the jello
So
Well, I don't always want to find me
A little old server boy to play around with them
All right, Jackie
Thank you for joining us this Saturday
Thank you guys
I'm going to talk about an 11-year-old boy
He'll kill this dad
Because he took his intent to switch away
Have fun
Hey man
Dad deserved it
Bye from your play
Thank you Jackie
I love you
I'm going to play your sexy video game
You're not going to
But supported by it
I'll buy it
Just buy it, I'll buy it
You don't have to play it
Yeah
You know, because now four years off for me
See, I'm mad at Jackie Sims
I didn't bring this up on the show
Because the last time Jackie did Sims
She like created all of us in the world
And then the fucking Sims killed Tutsi
Yes, well, I know is that Natalie and I broke up
And I ended up living outside
You really?
Yeah
Fucking killed Tutsi
And also
You got it wrong
Rambo died
Tutsi's fine
Tutsi's never going to die
Tutsi learned how to fly
Yeah, Tutsi hovered
Yeah
I watched you the other day hover
She's my baby
I love her
She's my little girl
I'm glad that I don't have an 11 year old boy
Dude, I am more thankful that we don't have kids
Every single time I read another story
About children shooting their fucking parents
Yeah
So this happened
This kid's got to be stopped
It's allegedly
But we're pretty sure it happened
An 11 year old boy
Had his Nintendo switch
Taken away from his father
He was upset
He stole the keys to the lock box
Looking for the switch
Looking for the switch
And then he didn't find the switch
He found a gun
He turned
And he shot his father
Bucca
What? Cause he wanted to switch
And then he went and hid in the closet
Dude
He screaming daddy's daddy killed daddy
Dude
This kid
Hardcore
He called the fucking 9-1-1 on himself
We understand that screen time
Could be a problem for the children
Let him watch Netflix
This is the thing guys
Just give it to him
Honestly at this
2026 man
Just give it to him
Just fucking give it to him
Just give it to him
Screen time
Yeah they need it
They need it
That kid fucking
Over my fucking dead body
Yes
You can play a switch
I'll play it with you
Honestly I'm kind of mad at the 11 year old
If he really wanted to teach his father a lesson
You just hold the gun at him
Yeah
You know like
And he
Be like
Fucking switch your decision
Rob
Hey daddy
Hey daddy looks like I'm your daddy now
I'm your fucking daddy now
Right
Oh yeah
But he doesn't know about leverage
Yeah
So that's a problem with 11 year olds in her arms
They understand they can be used for negotiating tools
Instead of just straight murder dude
Because when you murder daddy
He gets that you're not going to get
When they're treating you like an adult and jail
Which they are
Well he's gone to the juvenile court
I think that I thought that he said they're treating him like an adult
This the
This is the the preteens lawyer told local outlets
Said no comment on the case
But his goal is to get his client into juvenile court
He's literally not even a preteens
He's 11
Yeah he's a lot of his birthday
Oh well you can't take away
You just can't even do this game
The switch
This is birthday
Yeah
Fucking I mean if it's birthday
You a little play with the gun
All I know is his that
It's certainly the switch didn't teach him
The lesson was to shoot what you don't like
Yeah
I know that
Yeah
So
There's no way he was in like
I'm gonna do like you do and call it duty
I'm gonna fucking
Blow my father's brains out
Oh my god
So my little nephew
He's like 10
11 something like that
He's this kid's age
How does he even shoot a gun at 11
He's playing call a duty
At my my little nephew
He's playing call a duty
And I'm like you're playing call a duty
And he's like yeah I play call a duty
I'm having a good time
I like call a duty
I mean it's a lot of fun
I was like well what'd you do
He's like earlier today
I was playing against a Nazi
And I ran out of bullets
So I beat him the death of my helmet
That's a real man
You're talking to that
I just told the fucking man
I'm not seeing him in the real life
Beat him the death of your bicycle helmet
That's it you learn
Crazy
He said he was looking for the switch
Inside the safe and found the gun instead
Yeah
Yeah I should have done that
Yeah that's why he got to do the combo lock safe
That's why it's more like kid can't figure that out
He can't be in the same place
Yeah
He really should never put the switch where the gun is
No never
Honestly because you never
I never want one or the other
I always very much want my gun
Also don't have the kid
Yeah the kid is a problem here
Do you raise them run
Give them the screen time
Talk about ultimately being immediately punished
for racing your child and correctly
Right
Isn't that sad
Yeah obviously the kids go to jail
He's 11
Love in your old to just feel like
It's just really strange
To really think of the ideas
Like it just jumped into his head
To shoot his father dead
I don't think he thought about it
He kids don't understand death
We've learned that plenty of time
No no get the poor pit
Get the poor man
They don't get it
They don't get it
I didn't get it
You know
No
So when you get a little older
You start getting closer to death
Like oh wait a second
I'm not going to ride a bike
Oh yeah
Live every day
Knowing for a fact that every moment
You actually get closer to death
Yeah
And love the fact that you know that
Consciously because we're man
And not animal
All right
And you can laugh
At the face of death
Knowing that oh
Death tells me otherwise
What I'm going to do
Live on
Grow
Change
Before we close out
I got I got a request from the
To the audience if you don't mind
Please
So this crazy ass shit
El Mencho murdered
The cartel leader
Mexico is on fire
Henry and I
We specifically stay away from cartels
I know that we don't understand it
If somebody can give me
A good download
Of what is going on in Mexico right now
Side stories LPL the gmail.com
We know that the El Mencho
That the bosses of bosses
Of the of the heliscope
Yeah
Cartel was murdered
Now they are doing it
It's also the US government
Well, we we gave them info
I just want to I also love to know
Because I've had several people reach out
When we talked about the
Canadian that got murdered in Mexico
About how we didn't get murdered
Is captured you're captured
But basically they cashed Patel
Again in his wisdom
You basically were revealed of the FBI
Helped
We're in Mexico right now
United States government is in Mexico
Always there
We but now
Yeah, I think we had a hands-off policy
For a while and now we are actively
Destroying the infrastructure
That's currently held together
By pieces of glue
Yeah, so we're going to see how it goes
Because it seems that
The main problem with killing a big boss like this
Is that he had
It seemed to sort of like a stability
There was like a stability that had created
And there was almost like a kind of
Deep state government
Yeah, he climbed through his ruthlessness
But also like kind of seems like he kept everything in control
But the problem is that now but that's bad
Right, it's like the Saddam same thing
It's like now we wiped out the guy
Now you're looking at all these various different
Separate funk like
Parts all fighting each other
To try to decide whether or not they're going to coalesce one
Or all just be separate
Side stories LPL at gmail.com
Please
Thank you very much guys
We got shows coming up
Yeah, we just take the road
Yes, we talked about crime wave at sea
Yes, Alaska is rescheduled
But we're also coming to
Urbana, Illinois
Dude, very excited
Can't wait
Got a lot of good recommendations
Got a lot of good wrecks
I can't wait
That's going to be on March 14th
Come see Henry and I talk
Are
Fucking
Bullshit
We're going to have fun
You're hearing kids
Yes, um, Lexington, Kentucky
On April 26th
Netflix is a joke
Allegedly
Allegedly
And Netflix is a joke
That's going to be a
Los Angeles
On May 7th
F.A.
Avalon at 9.45 pm
Come see that show
Rochester, New York
On May 30th
And London, Ontario
On June 28th
Also, if you want to come see me in LA
I got stand up on April 3rd
Over at the Lyric Hyperion
Co-headlining with Amber Nelson
That's going to be fun
That's going to be amazing
I know Amber's got her own show
Amber's got her own fucking show every Friday
Over at the clubhouse
Yeah, so you can see Amber
Every fucking Friday here in Los Angeles
So come see that shit
That starts in March
I'm going to do her first show on March 6th
So if you want to see that
That's a free show
Um, April 11th
P-Funk Fest in Tallahassee
That I'm going to be
Fucking all over that shit
With Holden McNeely
And then me, him and Danny Bedrojan
Are going to drive the Jacksonville
The next day and perform
Advise to our stadium
Uh, the Jacksonville Jumbo Shroom stadium
I couldn't be more excited
And then July 10th
A salute to Bethlehem with Dan Becker
And Ruby Deere
Local heroes
I'm saluting Bethlehem
For no reason whatsoever
You're allowed
And then also Newark, New Jersey
At Justin Williams New Comedy Club
The Newark culture club
That's going to be in Newark, New Jersey
On July 12th
Tell that motherfucker, I said hello
I will
I haven't seen him in a while, I love to see him
Also just came down the pipe
That they just Ruhan announced
That there was 50 pages deleted
From the current Epstein file dump
That specifically names Trump
In a multiple victim account
Of him raping the child
Yeah, the numbers of the files
That exist for us to view
Change all the time
Yes, so screenshot everything
Oh, and I actually do want to give a bit of a shout out
Two
This guy
There is a person right now
This is your favorite uh, dumper
It's a new great dumper
Um, this person has given up their lives
They've given up their job
To go and do this full time
EpsteinExposed.com
They've given up their lives
EpsteinExposed.com
Is probably
The best
Of these websites I've seen
Because of how much information disseminates
It breaks it all down
By person
By types of documents
By typing a fork
So if you're like me
No, you're an Epstein head
And you want it really
Fucking find a real
Efficient way
And have the only files
If you're real happy
You had go to EpsteinExposed.com
I know so I have no
Skin in the game there
I have no idea
But that person is doing
Satan's work
And they are
They
I feel like as a person you could support
So I'm also running over there if you want to
I love that
Good
Fucking keep
Never stop talking about it
Until more people are in prison
I'm fucking sick of this shit
Everyone's too calm
It's not ending
All right
It's not gonna end for us
And then we're not doing
I mean, we saw how people still
Support the fucking Catholic Church
Yes
So we don't need that on our hands
Oh, you're a fun new pope
Just came out and said straight up
You still think centrans people are going to hell
So
Cool
Yes, and that's the Chicago in them
That's the yeah
Just so you know
He basically said they were like
They do this
They did this thing with the pope
Where they asked him like
So any new policies
Vitering gays and trans
And he's like
No change
All right
So you like them
You like them
You guys like them huh
Yeah, that's fine
All right
Well
Bye
He'll stay then
Hell, Willie Cologne and Ebo Taylor
Two great musicians
We lost this year
This week
Go listen to their music
You won't understand any of it
If you understand me
Hey
It's my bad bunny noise
Yeah
I've been looking on
I
I
No, he's got a low voice
More photos
More photos
Why
I don't know how he does
He's so masculine
He is masculine
That was a huge dog
Hey
You see that thing flapping
Yeah
It's cool
Last Podcast On The Left


