Side Stories: Squatch Watch 2026

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She ain't surviving as native of the target of a mysterious cabal of eccentric power,

hungry, lethal, billionaire family. When her estranged sister is pulled into their trap,

the do must fight the high council for the seat that controls the world.

Double the nothing. Great movie. I saw it. Just fun as the first one.

Ready to not do. Here I come. It's only in theaters. March 20th.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last on the left side stories.

That's one of the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes.

Was it huge? No, small. Rowan. I mean, they had come out a little pussy.

Yeah. Of course. That's the thing. Yeah. Is that how we start?

No, I don't think so. Do all these have these sections?

Yeah, I just want to say, you know, we had a absolutely fantastic weekend.

Gives you can hear my voice is destroyed. Ed's voice is destroyed.

I'm a little better now. Yeah, but my voice is destroyed during the show.

Yes, but we had so much fun in Urbana after our indie show. Great show and indie,

but Urbana with special big towns with things to do to people to talk to.

But I seriously, there are times that when Eddie and I are out,

that I almost feel like Magneto, where I have not control, but I'm using a man's mutant

like ability to empathize with pigs to sort of weaponize it to find good pork sandwiches.

I know what I'm doing, dude, but it is you have this ability.

You empathize with pigs. You love pigs. I love them.

You will probably talk to a pig. Yeah, but you also the smarter than toddlers,

but you seem to know instinctually then also where the good pork is.

Well, all right. Here's the thing with delicious pork and food in general.

Things that are loved taste better.

Does that make sense? Like if you love it and you treat it well,

it is more delicious after you kill it. That's why it's every Dom or Kiston first.

Exactly. Welcome to side stories.

My name is Hennory Soprowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larsen and we had,

I mean, that's why I want to say this is because we'll just do Uncle Corner up top.

Yeah, exceptional pork sandwich. It was really good.

Well, I had an eggplant part. Yeah, he was healthy.

I was healthy. Yeah, he was healthy.

Yeah, yeah, that's the thing because everyone that's what you know about an eggplant

part. That's the first thing that comes to my head. Oh, the light health.

She could do too much today. Oh, I don't need all that meat.

I need something that is only oil.

Well, I was going to get the Italian sandwich and then she said that the eggplant

part was particularly good there and she was correct.

She was and that was what was the name of the place again?

It was Baldurata's porketta and Sicilian sausage in Urbana, Illinois.

Shout out to you, fuckers. And we also asked for recommendations and guess what you guys did?

Not a single one of you told us to go to Baldurata's.

I had to find it on my own.

We had to find that on our own.

I'm such a good sandwich, Hunter.

You have no idea. I'll find a good sandwich in a fucking pile of dead dogs.

Yeah, I feel like I'm using like a psychic Native American to help me find oil.

You know what I mean? That's how it feels.

It feels like I'm using a kind-hearted empathetic ability

to point it towards destruction and I don't mind it because I win.

I got the porketta sandwich because I'm not a fucking cook.

It's hard to.

I got to tell you, like because like Henry, if you're on the road with Henry,

Henry's yelling, where's the food?

Where it's not fast enough?

Find it faster. We're making a lesson now.

No, fast enough.

No, no, no, no.

But I found Baldurata's porketta and Sicilian sausage.

And boy, oh boy, do I love you Italian Midwest ladies.

Those Italian Midwest ladies,

I wanted to fold them up.

I wanted to put them in a basket and I wanted to take them home with me.

I wish we could borrow them at least for a month.

But yeah, just go check that out.

I probably could borrow them for a month.

No one would know they were missing.

No, I mean, there's nothing there. No one's there.

Baldurata's is there and if Baldurata's goes down,

that whole fucking town collapses.

No, Baldurata's comes home.

Baldurata's comes to California.

You're right. But yes, you guys go really good work out there.

Except for those, they did not recommend it.

And that's where you failed us.

And I will never forgive you for that.

But we're going to come back to

Tirabana because that's how good the show was.

The Lincoln Square Mall was weird.

Well, that's the whole thing.

We're going to leave that there.

That was just like a garage sale that was the inside.

The sky's just a mall.

Yeah, but that's for them.

And again, we made fun of that to their faces.

And that's special.

And we only do that on side stories live.

And you can go and get tickets for that.

I'm last podcast on the left.com because Eddie and I,

we do come up with material.

We talk about fucking my college shit.

But we also, we will absolutely eat in your town

and roast the living fuck.

That's right.

In April, we're going to be in Anchorage Fairbanks

and Lexington.

So come check us out.

Lexington Kentucky.

And that's going to be good.

I can't wait for that one.

So it's with you this week.

I just want you to know,

up way off the up top,

we're not going to hit an update today.

Because let's all let's take a break.

Yeah, I mean, we deserve a mental health break.

We all did it.

I was watching and stuff.

We're going we are going to talk about no, no, no,

we're are going to talk about the Italian Trump next week.

Hopefully we also have a bunch of other stories to go

deep into.

There's there's so much still going.

It's still there.

Don't worry about it.

They we did get to say, look,

we're not doing an update here.

Sure.

But we did get to tell our driver all about the Epstein files on

their way from Urbana back to Indianapolis.

And we scared him.

We also got to tell you remember that anonymous married couple.

We met at the rooftop bar.

Oh, yeah, I told them all about the Epstein files.

So don't worry.

We are hitting the streets.

We're directly delivering Epstein information to the people.

Yeah.

And that chick she told you she was a real nurse.

Oh, trauma nurse trauma nurse.

And then she told you about shrimping.

Oh, well, that was one of my favorite things.

So I told her about the Epstein files and she told me about

shrimping, which she learned from her nurse Instagram,

which was like she follows a bunch of nurses.

And shrimping is when you are man and you come into a woman's ass.

Yeah.

And then you suck the calm out of the ass.

So it's not felching.

It's shrimping.

It's not like Bubba.

It's not Bubba Gump.

Shrimping.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, I mean, you can you can eat shrimp and do it.

I think it should be called Krillinit.

Well, that'd be cute.

Yeah, Krillinit because it's closer to Krillin the shrimp.

This is why I find it just shrimping at just as the second someone's toes

is according to Urban Dictionary.

But that's not what this nurse showed me.

No, no, she had a whole video about it.

And she was on a staycation with her husband.

It was one of those things where it was like she clocked Henry

and was like, I think he needs to know about shrimping.

And I was like, this woman knows how to read a fucking room.

Yeah, dude, I've never experienced that.

Yeah, I was just I was so happy.

But also because I mean, I led with the Epstein files.

Yeah, yeah, that's true.

And it really sets the temperature.

And really does.

Because again, we don't we didn't do it on the show this week

because we did it to purse P2P.

We're out there grassroots ruining people's nights.

Yeah, because like that was the thing.

Our stupid driver even did the thing.

He was a nice guy.

Fine, fine guy.

Fine guy.

He made me listen.

We plug the show.

We actually subscribe to the show.

I texted him the show.

So he's probably listening.

Hey, Jim, how you doing?

I'm going to Jim, but Jim did he say, hey,

oh, you know, I'm a bit of a Trump fan, right?

And then we're like, unfortunately,

he punched a 13 year old in the head

while she was trying to suck his dick.

And then he was just like,

ooh, I'm like, ooh, what?

And I was like, go check it out.

You know what I mean?

Because we did the whole thing,

but we first said like, you know,

like we went and we softballed

because first he asked you,

like, what are your jokes on AOC?

And we're like, you guys have it.

You're sexually obsessed with her.

Yeah.

And then we then said,

like, I don't know why you're sexually obsessed with her.

I think she's beautiful.

I do think she's gorgeous.

Yeah, I also just like,

she doesn't really enter my mind quite a bit.

And she's also whatever.

Right now she's doing her job.

As she needs to do.

But he was then kind of like to ask about the Clinton.

So he was obviously kind of snowballing.

Then we got to do, which was awesome.

Say like, well, obviously,

Hillary Clinton's a villain,

Bill Clinton's a villain.

We believe that they should be probably in the head.

Like we couldn't give a fuck.

Kill him.

That's what we kept saying.

We're like, we don't give a fuck.

Like we don't care.

If you arrest our people,

they're not our people.

None of these people are our people.

You know who's my people?

Ed.

Yeah, I like Henry.

Rob's cool.

Rob's my people money.

I like Ernie, my new dog.

Yes.

You know, I think he's cool.

And that's about it.

Julie's on the level.

Julia, Natalie, I claim Natalie.

That's it.

It's the only people I will claim.

As like representative of me,

I would fight to keep you from prison.

I like holding more than Bernie Sanders.

Yeah, it's the truth is the fucking truth.

I admire Bernie Sanders.

I'm friends with holding.

You know, it's distinctly different.

I don't care.

I couldn't care what happens in Bernie Sanders.

When he dies, unfortunately, I'm not going to shed a tear.

I'm going to be like, replace him with somebody else.

He gives a fuck.

They're replaceable.

Who gives a shit about a senator?

Men.

But just how?

Well, how would you feel if Bernie Sanders

got Hammer Maniac.

I will say honestly,

I think that would hit me hard.

I'm only saying this.

I think I'd be upset if he got Hammer Maniac.

Only as a true crime goal.

This is the only reason why I'm even saying this.

I'm just saying that it would be great for the show.

Fantastic for the show.

It'd be great for the show.

So that is my name.

If Bernie got Hammer Maniac, it would be great.

I'm just going to say,

I'm going to go, I'm going to go, I'm going to go,

we're going to go, we're going to go.

You're going to turn me into soup?

How, what are you going to turn me on?

I'm like, so I drink soup, but you're going to turn me into soup?

As happening to elderly vans heads.

How are they so thin?

How are they so weak in their structure?

One person, one person out of the,

with all that head is that, give it away.

All I think is,

I'm talking to the one little,

let's go, stuck with them all being hammered.

But no, that's, we don't hope.

We don't wish that.

And we don't wish that.

But it'd be good for us.

Yes.

Just because it's good for us,

doesn't mean we want it to happen.

Just like Trump getting elected.

Great for our taxes,

but I didn't want it to happen.

Did not even that great for our taxes, Eddie.

It isn't?

No.

Fuck.

Yeah.

I wanted the full removal.

I can't absolutely maximum.

We kind of disagree on this.

So I don't, we don't need to spend too much time on it.

But I do want to give a shout out

to horror,

representing at the Oscars this year.

Fucking sinners,

winning weapons,

winning two people.

We interviewed,

had big wins at the Oscars.

Big fucking deal.

That's the cast on the left push, baby.

We did a bump, dude.

Yeah, we were.

Sinners was nothing until you fucking

owe us, Eddie.

You fucking owe our God.

Where's my joke of I want one of the arms?

Yeah, ugly step sister got a nom.

Really good.

Very cool Frankenstein.

I didn't like it.

He was fine.

But I'm happy it was nominated.

It was beautiful.

It was very gorgeous.

It was beautiful.

And it was very silly to me, though.

Young Jacob Alority was, he was very good at that.

He didn't have to talk a lot.

Which I think really worked for him.

He talked plenty.

I did, he did.

But it's still.

Frankenstein talked way more than he should have.

But he did a good job.

Frankenstein's monster.

The monster.

I thought he did a good job.

I thought Jacob Alority was fine.

I am sort of looking forward to the bride.

Bride looks cool,

even though everyone says it sucks.

Whatever.

It looks awesome.

I'll take a bunch of drugs.

But you know, like this is the Oscars,

the only thing I'm obviously,

I'm slightly hesitant about,

about horror getting too far into

the Oscars world.

Only just because they don't want all of that money

to destroy the beautiful ecosystem

that is inside of the horror world.

I think people, no matter what,

people will make $3 horror movies for all of time.

They better.

The weather, the weather.

I'm trying to, I'm trying to make one.

Yeah, so I think it was a great year for horror.

Last year was two with the substance.

I'm all about this.

Fucking give it to horror.

I'm, I'm here for it.

I just think it's awesome that

amazing filmmakers are also bringing

an elevated world of horror out to everybody.

Amy Madigan getting it.

Yes.

That Oscar was fucking amazing.

Can't believe that weapons was,

I mean, weapons was also a wonderful cultural moment.

Yeah.

And just, it is nice to see.

It just feels like culture in a way.

Not I know if it's healing.

I don't think it's healing,

but it's just good to see people

getting murdered and rewarded for it.

Yep.

But that is, in fantasy.

In fantasy.

Yeah.

So in all of this news, we have a lot going on, Eddie.

I got a question before we get started.

Please.

I'm just very curious on what your thoughts are.

I don't even know what to deal with this.

I don't know what's real and what's not anymore.

Is Netanyahu alive?

I can't, I have not seen proofies alive.

I don't know what to feel.

I'm very curious.

These videos that I've seen of him.

I think of at least they do not seem real.

I feel we might be the AI.

This is the world of conspiracy theory

that we are now heading towards.

I know some view.

I mean, some you've done this to me.

I know.

And there was some there right now,

there is some chatter.

The Benjamin Netanyahu might have been killed

in a way or died.

Normal man.

And that now he is sort of being replaced

by what seems to be AI video.

Now, that's a massive conspiracy,

that we don't have proof.

No major news network or source is reporting on this.

Now, the problem is is that he did this

Rudruzlum Cafe video, right?

Like they're saying, oh, if you look,

but you can see the fact that his ring disappears.

And the coffee doesn't move.

No, and this just doesn't seem like,

I don't know if this video is like a distraction.

Like not put out by them and like make us confused.

Like, I don't know what's going on.

None of us do.

I don't believe anything anymore.

I got caught by the Kisleen Maxwell video in Canada.

And the Epstein one.

Yeah, I got caught by that too.

So I don't even fucking know.

I think that they are comfortably in a world of smoking mirrors

and that we are not going to know for a while.

Yeah, I would actually bet at this point

that he's alive.

I think he's alive because they are

but that does not mean he's not hurt or sick.

Or something.

And so I would think that if he was dead,

they would probably that that would be a pretty big deal.

It'd be a huge fucking day.

And we're not yet at the point.

We have yet to see it yet.

I don't know because we're not yet at the full

which government's going to be the first

to hardcore try to sell us

that their guy isn't dead yet.

I mean, we haven't we haven't decided.

We haven't gotten to there yet.

So I don't know whether or not they are going to be the first.

I'm not going to put it past.

Their current administration.

Seriously.

Yeah.

To be the forefront on where we might

we might gain this to extend this out

because we can't say we're on kill them.

Fucking first thing out.

We really can't because it's going to make every

it's going to stop the war early.

You know, I don't know what it's going to do.

I don't want to probably escalate.

There's no goals for the war.

There's no that's all just total utter chaos.

Just keep talking to not talk about the fact

that the president's a pedophile.

So it doesn't matter.

We're here now.

We are just kind of ripping the band-aids off

of a bunch of stuff and they're just letting it fly

and we're going to just receive the end bit of it.

I'm also going to say

in staying within the world of conspiracy theory

that cash Patel can go fuck himself

in trying to threaten California

with this fake shit about the Iranian drones

attacking us.

It is literally just making shit up.

He just won't care on his side.

Yes, it doesn't matter.

He's not he wants nothing.

He has no he has nothing in his head.

He literally is an empty vessel

just like everybody else

inside of the administration right now.

He does not care about a single fucking thing

besides social media.

Yeah.

So he is not trying to catch anybody.

Nancy Guthrie's fucking salsa right now

while he was partying and over there

with the soccer team.

I can't believe he should have to find this woman.

Yes.

So she's fucked.

That lady was fucked now.

He didn't even care about that.

That's gone.

That story's gone.

And so another another failure of his

every single thing that he's doing is a failure

and he is now trying to scare

California out of spite.

The same thing now.

He attached JD Vance.

It's a quote-unquote look for fraud in California.

Again, it's all just like weird.

That's what they did in Minnesota the fucking

in order to attack them.

But what Henry's talking about in case you don't know

it wasn't it kind of was swept under the rug

because it's fake because it was fake.

It came out there's a news report

that Iran was going to fucking hit South

Southern California with drones.

That might have been stolen from a place inside of America.

That was one of Henry's.

And they were like a ship deported

just out in the Pacific Ocean.

And they were going to come and attack us.

And then the FBI said that

and then they had no evidence to support it.

They just trying to scare us.

And then guess what?

It's like we are in a surveillance state

in which we have total space dominance.

You mean to tell me that United States of America

that has the biggest military force in the galaxy

cannot see from space that there are drones

haphazardly being flown at us from 9,000 miles away

to a landlock there.

Like you have to be fucking kidding me.

I'm sorry.

So he checked.

So maybe he had made me particularly angry.

A little bit late, but I should have done this a while ago.

All the pamphlets?

Yeah.

Oh, pamphlets.

Yeah, yeah.

We can give it to him.

Yeah, he'll come up.

It's been a while.

Yeah, it's been a while.

It's been a while.

I've got allergies.

There it is.

It's fine.

I have allergies.

You got allergies.

I have a scratchy throat.

That's why I'm like this right now.

I have my sinuses are acting up on me.

Say something nice about Cash Patel.

You can do it.

I'll go first.

I'll go first.

He's a fun person to hate.

See?

You can find something.

He has nice skin.

It's not horrible.

It's not horrible.

See?

See?

Sometimes you just got to do that.

I barely cut.

I barely cut the ridge this time.

That was that was tough.

Right from your place.

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Well, now it's time to get to some real news, Eddie.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

Because we've been going through just so much

fucking unbelievably bummer and so much bummer information.

There's so much bad news out there.

And honestly, it's a distraction

from what we should really be paying attention to.

Yeah, because the side story curse hit us last week.

It did.

It did because we were too busy up our asses

talking about the pedophilia of ball that runs a government.

So we did not get to talk about probably one

of the most significant moments in Bigfoot history

that has happened since a lot of these,

well, a lot of what are these kind of soft faced men

that I've seen on these podcasts,

what they have said is that we have not seen a Bigfoot flap

like this since 1978.

When we had over, I believe they believe the statistic was

that we had Bigfoot activity in 10 states in 1978.

Wow.

Yes, but what we missed was truly one of the biggest

you have series of big foot sightings

that happened in a concentrated area.

No fun.

No, I why?

Eddie, why ruin it with that?

Why ruin it with that?

We don't need that they saw tracks and tuffs

and they heard several vocalizations.

Bigfoot flap in Ohio,

and it's not just the sides of the boys working at the deli.

Yeah.

We have got this.

It is a huge, huge fucking story, a dramatic surge.

And Bigfoot sightings occurred last week from March 6th

to March 10th.

We had literally eight sightings and over five days.

So do these people know each other?

The Bigfoot?

The sightings people?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

They're strangers there.

We gotta remember, this is in Portage County, Ohio.

This is out in the middle of nowhere.

It's about an hour and a half south east of Cleveland.

So we're close to Akron.

We're close to Akron.

We're close to our people.

Cleveland seems to be claiming this.

Cleveland can go fuck, it's Akron.

Ask, I want to ask our Akron people

how they feel about that, okay?

Because Cleveland's trying to steal the one thing

that you have, okay?

So Portage County, which is kind of next and all this,

they're saying that they saw these Bigfoot, right?

Big feet, Bigfoot.

That's what we call the multiples of Bigfoot or Bigfoot.

We saw two separate creatures

that seem to be seen multiple times.

One was a 10-foot, black, Bigfoot, right?

And the other one was a six-foot, brown, Bigfoot.

Maybe a lady.

Maybe a lady.

Who knows?

Now, it seems to have gone along a river.

Now across the Portage and Trouble County,

it seems to be kind of affecting

this, a lot of this was reported by one podcast.

A guy that runs a podcast called Bigfoot Society

that I ended up listening to,

he also did a little crossover with blurry creatures.

I'm gonna give him a shout out

because that's where I got some of their information.

Like listening, they really did go deep in on this.

Obviously, the guy from Bigfoot Society is Jeremiah Byron,

is sort of, he's definitely the John Keel of this.

He largely goes on vibes.

He says that he gets sightings every day between this

and he also works with this project

called the Bigfoot Mapping Project,

which is truly a remarkable resource

for putting Bigfoot's on a map.

Yeah, but anyone can just add their sighting.

Yeah, I could be like, I saw Bigfoot at the Burbank Mall.

You probably did.

But yeah, but I could just write that on the sighting map.

So the sighting map seems flawed to me.

No, but you see what he's done here

is that they are color coded.

So I believe the greens are the ones that he himself

has when they went and they verified.

So Jeremy Byron would go and get these series of sightings

and then he would call them to sort of get the whole,

just stops, right, to get the whole story.

And to him, his belief was that I know when I hear the truth

and then this is when I'm hearing is the truth.

So this is a undocumented.

We got a bunch of these things, all right?

And they all got, it's interesting because you click on these

and they give you a little description of what happened.

Yo, yeah, that's what I'm saying.

It's very interesting.

Now, the first report received by Bigfoot Mapping Project,

this comes from this AOL.com.

Oh, they still do it stuff.

Oh, sure.

March 6th, the first one took place in broad daylight.

A witness saw out in the field in this area when they locked eyes

with a nine foot tall brown-haired Sasquatch.

The terrifying thing is that this happened broad daylight.

Yes.

1223, that was March 6th.

Same day, they see another Bigfoot, right?

A hiker heard something unusual as they entered in the woodland

not far from the previous day's sightings.

Next day, the footsteps were too low and too spaced out

in a way too heavy for a deer or another hiker.

Then just 40 yards away, a massive eight foot tall creature

stepped out from behind the trees.

Dark, brown hair, long arms, and it turned its face

just to look directly at the hiker.

Now, the thing we know about Bigfoot can't turn its head.

Oh, really?

No, why not?

Don't know.

It doesn't have neck bones?

I don't know.

They say it moves like a gorilla

where it moves this whole body right to turn and look at you.

Right?

So that's a big, distinct thing about Bigfoot.

And that's how Jeremiah knows it's a Bigfoot.

Oh, because it turned its whole body to see him.

That's what he says, bears don't do that.

Bears don't fucking do that.

It said it was bigger than a bear.

Bigger than a bear.

And he said it was nine feet tall.

Yeah, they can be much bigger than bear.

Right?

I think that's bigger than a bear.

Oh, it is.

This one vocalized what it saw.

And it went, and it vibrated through the trees.

Don't Bigfoot have a high pitched voice,

but that I think it was shitting.

Oh, you think it was shitting?

Yep.

The search for the area later revealed

two large humanoid footprints.

Now it's even keeps going.

We have another one go.

They say another woman saw seven foot tall creature,

dark reddish brown fur, the beast,

with a big fat, round muscular arms

and a powerful, heavy frame.

It ran past the woman's house.

And the shit what she said was,

it didn't seem like no deer.

No, it didn't seem like a deer,

because it was on two legs.

Bears go on two legs.

Sometimes when they hurt their front paws,

they walk on two legs and it confuses people.

The next day, Jeremiah and Byron

got a call from someone who quote said straight up,

I'm not a Bigfoot person.

All right.

And then they said they were passing the Tinker's Creek area

when a six and a half foot lean brown Bigfoot

appeared in their lane,

but going against the flow of traffic.

And she said they were so close

that the witness said that their daughter

could have reached out and hit the Bigfoot with a roar.

So it was walking along the highway?

There was all no, it was on the river.

I was in the river.

There's river and then the German Shepherd

went running after the Bigfoot, right?

And then it was scared.

They came back and scared.

And that's how Jeremiah also said he knew it was real,

because the dog was scared.

Now, all right.

So I have a lot of family in Ohio.

Shout out Cincinnati.

I know this is kind of far.

They're very tall.

My family.

Julie's family's very tall.

Yeah, they're tall.

Yeah, are you calling them Bigfoot?

I'm just saying I noticed the pattern of information.

The thought that I was trying to convey

was that it is cold as fuck there right now.

Who are these people hiking?

Crazy people.

Who's hiking in the middle of goddamn winter?

People with no families.

It's fucking snow in every goddamn day.

Yeah, people don't know how.

People who don't know how to have fun.

People that are miserable on the inside

don't want to make others miserable on the outside.

I know.

That's what people do.

That's what's in our network, right?

Who does the thing where he's like,

he refuses to wear pants or socks or shoes,

no matter what, because he's like,

oh, he doesn't get cold.

I've seen him in the snow and Brooklyn

in shorts and sandals and it freaks me out.

He says, I don't get cold, right?

He says, I don't get cold.

They're guys like that.

They're like that.

They're sick.

They're attached to the cold.

So there's eight different groups of people walking around

in the snow.

No, what?

No, random people that live out in the woods

and some are hiking, one was hiking.

A lot of these people are just home

and hearing these things out in the woods

as they go along this like,

northeasterly pattern along the river.

So what is Bigfoot eat?

Stuff.

What do you mean, stuff?

I mean, it seems that Bigfoot is more often than not.

I'm nervous.

He does eat, he might eat so first.

I'm maybe, maybe.

He might eat squirrels.

Has anyone ever found Bigfoot shit?

One of the major issues is the fact that you would assume

that a nine foot creature that lives.

Huge piles of shit.

Would have quite a bit of scat.

We probably would have found more of their dead bodies.

We would probably would have seen more of them on

your hands.

You probably would, of course.

Yes, they could have had fewer rules for their shit.

We find dinosaurs there under the ground.

Well, you know, but they're not Bigfoot.

And they're not a Bigfoot because I do find it interesting.

One of the witnesses though,

which is why Jeremiah Byron

ended up bringing the story to blurry creatures

because I guess over in blurry creatures,

they're kind of more like us where they like to do the woo

and they also do, I think they're a bit Christian.

So we'll find out.

I mean, I think it's all, I was like a couple of things.

I said a couple of things about Christ,

which seems to be within the Bigfooters community,

which is like, because the Jeremiah Byron said something.

Oh, they're willing to believe

in something that doesn't exist.

Yeah.

Right?

He said something along the lines of,

what if you ever get too close to a Bigfoot?

Well, you know, like what happens if something happens to you

and Jeremiah Byron did say something along the lines of,

he's like very lighthearted.

He's like, well, if I die,

I just get to go to heaven sooner.

And all the guys were like, yeah, yeah.

And they all kind of said that very flippantly and moved on.

And then I was like, ooh.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

That's an extremist point of view.

Well, it's fine.

It's fine.

But Bigfoot's not.

You sent me three hours of fat men talking about Bigfoot.

Yes.

To like dip for research for this 10 minute dip.

Yeah.

I'm just like, no way.

I just saw that.

I was just like, you said too long.

One was an hour and 50 minutes.

Here.

Play this video.

Play this little section I have that I put in here.

I'm not watching this.

I want you to play this one little section I have

from discovering Bigfoot.

Because that was the other thing that the dude

from Bigfoot society, you already got married.

Play this.

No, she has to hear this.

She has to.

Natalie gets this.

She gets this.

No, you have to go to it.

It's saved at the four minute point.

So this is from, this is a clip that from a Bigfoot documentary called Discovering Bigfoot

by a guy by the name of Todd Standing, who is an absolute moron.

But these guys are like, he's done a lot of pictures of Bigfoot.

He swears you could call Bigfoot.

But here I just want to hear what's his number.

You'll see.

Oh, it's 865309.

Do you believe in miracles?

No.

Would you believe me if I told you there was a small mammal that flew around at night completely

blind and to survive, it had to consume thousands of mosquitoes every night.

It's a mess.

Sounds impossible.

How about a small brain aquatic mammal that spends its whole life building intricate aquatic

structures while surviving on wood?

No.

You probably would think all that's impossible, except you know that bats and beavers

are a real living thriving species, one of many that currently reside here in the force

of North America.

Not to let the country learn about North America.

He then combines it all with Bigfoot to Bigfoot.

Yes.

Got a good point.

What do you mean he's got a point?

Rob is a Bigfooter.

No.

You have to know Rob's a Bigfooter.

I have not.

I have not.

But you have sunk more time than any of us into Bigfoot.

I don't believe in him though.

Yes.

But you are very interested.

Yes.

I watched Harry and the Henderson's about 35 times.

Harry and the Henderson's actually.

It's not a little film.

And it also has quite a bit of pretty detailed lore in it.

Oh no, they did a good job.

Like the guy that plays the Hunter's face off a real Bigfoot Hunter, like that French

guy.

The French guy's face off a real guy.

Like it's kind of interesting.

There's actually some like Bigfoot lore in that.

But mostly to have it all go back is that one interesting description, the final description

of the Bigfoot was when this woman described about how the Bigfoot came out of the brush

and that she couldn't literally describe its face.

She said it was blurry.

She looked at it and it was blurry and she couldn't do it.

And she says, I know what I saw, but I didn't know what I saw.

But then he could say that it's because of which I kind of find interesting.

One big Bigfoot theory.

One Bigfoot theory I really like comes from the New Curks about this like one idea of Bigfoot

being a ghost of an old form of human.

Okay.

Right.

That we're in the world.

That has more legs than anything else I've heard.

Imagine if Loch Ness Monster was a ghost of a pleziosaur.

Like imagine if it was this thing, that's a funny dumb idea, right?

Cool.

Yeah.

That's a funny thing to believe.

And so this idea of like, or a thought form, this idea that we have thought about these

things and they are out there and there are mysterious things in the woods.

But the main issue I do believe according to physicists, I mean, biologists is the idea

that the main issue is that Bigfoot would require a massive amount of resources.

So a large, a minimal, that large would require the food, like the food intake for a

minimal that large would be very noticeable, it would just be extremely noticeable.

It would be the same as any other nine foot tall creature that would need protein and

you would need all these things and it would hunt and like that's kind of the major

issue.

It's like, that's kind of where they said they're like, you can kind of maybe think it

could hide.

It could maybe be an herbivore.

It doesn't need protein necessarily to get that big cows, I mean, I guess prontosauruses

and those old animals, but they didn't live very buffaloed, buffaloed isn't fucking.

I think that buffalo will eat a, you put serious on, I mean, I don't know, side stories

help.

P-O-T-O-T-L-A-G-O-L.

The conbocerus is fucking herbivore.

Are they all herbivores?

I think they eat like birds and squirrels if they can, right?

No.

I don't know.

I know those birds pecking at its head all day.

But I think if it can get one and it'll eat one.

No.

It's an herbivore.

I don't know, but I don't know.

Panda bear.

Side stories help P-O-T-L-A-G-O-T-L-A-G-O-L.

I don't know.

They will not eat a bird.

Yeah, that's just Google AI saying whatever it is.

I don't believe it on this case.

Google AI is just trying to calm women down.

That's all it's trying to do because I had a deal with that.

I literally had to explain to Natalie about like how certain dogs get stolen.

Because they are intact generally, right?

And they get stolen to be bred, right?

And then it's essentially who took Johnny Gosh, but for dogs.

Yeah, people said that.

And she started to cry.

She immediately got so upset with me for saying that.

And then I had to go like, no, baby, that doesn't exist.

There's no way that exists.

No, I'm sorry.

I'm crazy.

I'm crazy.

I'm evil.

I'm crazy.

I had one type.

We were driving.

Julie was driving.

We were in New Jersey.

It was like raining and it was at night.

And this cat ran in front of the Julie's car in the highway and she killed it.

And I was just never looking at her and just be like, I can't believe you hit that

possum.

You know, I just feel like, oh my god, that possum.

Like clearly a cat.

Oh, no, no, that possum.

I kid a dirty, dirty possum.

I bet it.

I was really most possums only run into the road if they have rabies.

So I'm certain that actually we did a good thing.

So I actually, all of this being said, I can't stop thinking about the ghost thing.

I think that's to interrupt you.

But that's just now I'm just like locked in like, what a framos a ghost.

What if I get to like, you know, what if I get to find my boy?

Well, you know, they have, they talk about this with animal ghost, soul, time, people.

I actually would love to, and this is finally get some woo on back on here.

Side stories, L-P-O-T-L, gmail.com.

I'd love to hear stories of you getting haunted by your pets.

Yeah.

I have heard it.

I would love a pet sayer.

Multiple times.

A pet sayer.

I'm into it.

Well, the psychic, can we talk to one?

No, you want to get into bigger trouble than we did fucking be on the veil?

Yeah.

Cause talk about just when I'm jettling a good boy, it's just like the pet psychic world

is so funny because it's so deeply manipulative and my mom, my mom gets it all the time.

Cause it's like, there's some about it.

For some people that can smell it, like my mom has had multiple people go up to her and

be like, I talk to your dog, you have to laugh.

And she's happy.

She wants to know she met you, happy, and you're just like, why are you people doing this

to each other?

I had a stewardess telling me that champ loves me, that she was, it's obvious.

She was taking up his messages on the plane, obviously, champ loves me.

Yeah, it's not like, I'm like sitting here one or two champs sending mixed signals.

No, he didn't like being trapped in that little container.

Of course.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But yeah, read your palm harbor, God help us, but that's why, but I would say that like

open your mind a little bit to the idea that there might be something, there might be

something going on.

It is interesting to have so many witnesses.

They call the police, the newspaper, Scott, like the news actually came and investigated

the police came.

They came and investigated it.

They found nothing.

There is people really shook and up.

They saw something weird.

And I think that, you know, things can hide in the woods, sure.

But the one thing that this guy said, I will say there was a couple of theories that

he had that kind of, I was like, all right, you probably shouldn't say that.

Where he was saying one theory, where he was afraid of, he's like, well, you know, there's

a fault line that runs through Ohio.

Oh, shut up.

And what if these bigfoot, I start to feel the little, little by

my brush and they came up through the earth.

No, they're moving down there like where the worlds are going to bigfoot country, Delaware.

Oh, they're moving the Biden town, they're moving to do pod country.

Well, because they think that maybe the chemicals can hold the earth together because they're

out there and they're staying.

Maybe they are warning us about a big earthquake that will finally bring Cleveland to the

sea.

As was foretold, as was foretold, I think all the burger grease is holding it in place.

The, um, now here, the one thing I did find interesting about the big foot thing, because

I read the articles, um, was that they were saying how he's like walking, how he's moving

and he's interesting gate.

He was in a specific gate.

Yeah.

Well, not just that.

He's nomadic.

Yes.

It's not in what he doesn't have a home.

No.

He's nomadic.

Yeah.

We were.

We were before we made, before we decided to create things surpluses, we sort of understand

that we could stay and we could create habitats and then eventually that turn into governments

and eventually that turned into, uh, glory holes and guys doing daisy chains and all sorts

of dead and strip malls.

And you know, well, we know as the United States have got to America.

So bigfoot don't like live in a cave.

I, I don't know, Eddie.

I think they disappear at night.

Yeah.

You think when they get, but most of the sightings are at night.

Hmm.

Some of them.

That's when they wake up.

They go bathroom started with you saying that there was a bigfoot sighting during the

day and that is rare.

That is rare.

And now you're saying that they don't, they can't be seen at night.

I'm saying when they go to sleep, they disappear.

That if, if bigfoot is physically real, I don't know where he sleeps.

He might sleep on a ground.

Of course he sleeps on the ground.

I mean, underground maybe in a tree.

No, we'd see him in a tree big.

He's fucking you.

This thing says bigfoot have been known to sleep in an abandoned building.

Oh, this is weird.

Jesus.

Oh, God.

I'm done.

No, you know what it is is that I think bigfoot is still a mystery.

I do believe there is a sort of spiritual psychic and energy to it.

There's something else.

If we really want to get into it, I'm not going to immediately say it's all fake.

Because I still think that there is, there's something out there in them woods.

There's something out there in them woods, but you never know what it is and we'll never

know probably.

And I don't know if we need a bigfoot to come out.

A bigfoot will literally need to like show up.

I feel like it in this level too, in this year of our Lord 2026 with all of the bad pop

culture and all the bad stuff, like I just feel like a bigfoot is this close to being

on like Jake Paul.

It would have been really helpful for the show, you know, psyche of America of bigfoot

just like came out and like did an interview.

Yes.

It would help everybody.

But we're not there yet.

And I don't think we ever will be because I don't think it's the right time for him.

Yeah.

Can I say something real quick just as a public service announcement?

Yes.

Costco's recalling meatloaf.

So if you bought a bunch of meatloaf, if you're in line, stay in line.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Return it.

Return it.

Return it.

Return it.

Return it.

Return it.

Costco's.

Be careful.

It's almost every state.

Is a Google alert for me.

It's one to let you guys know.

It's a something that popped in me.

I just want to let you.

I just got a Costco membership.

I'm not scared of Costco.

I just want you to know.

I'm getting back you off of Costco.

We're doing our spring things giving I gotta get my lamb.

No.

Yes.

So I gotta go to Costco.

It's the only place to get people a place of good.

That's it.

So if you bought a meatloaf pack at Costco in the past, a couple weeks, return it.

Love with mashed Yukon potatoes and glaze. Oh, wow. Salmanella. No one is dead yet. Not yet

But if you die by meatloaf, we will honor you on the show. Yeah, even if meatloaf itself is dead

He is dead. So don't eat him either. No, no, no, you don't need to chew it on the bone

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Now we have a couple of other stories we can get to because oh the also just you know

There was a giant documentary that specifically disproved the Patterson

Paddy the big big-foot Paddy. Oh really? Yeah, yeah because they sell rehearsal footage

Why would you keep the rehearsal footage?

I just doesn't make sense to me you fucking if you're like head of a conspiracy and you're like creating it

Just to destroy the footage. I need you to spend more time with big footers to understand why

I need you to spend more time with big footers to really understand because still we'll always talk about the musculature

We'll always talk about how uh, obviously whoever was in the Patterson game gimlin film was pretty jacked

Uh, it's that it always was what I was saying before is that you can see the musculature of his back

You can see the musculature of his legs. Yeah, but now if you really look at it

It is very much a costume of course. It's a costume. It might as well be a refrigerator box with fur on top

It's kind of nice in a way. It's a very good costume

Yes, for back of the day. See that one's gone too. Another dream flushed on the toilet, but

I still don't think that does it mean that there's not something out there would yeah

You never know you never know you never know

Something in the woods you know there's stuff in the woods buddy

See, but the thing is like the deep voice is what threw me because for all these years

I heard high pitch with the high pitch squeeze screams and and almost sonar like grunts. Okay

And that's for when he shits, but we didn't find the shit. That's what I was saying. Okay. Good. That's my belief

That's my personal belief. All right now. We got to give a shout out to this guy

Who's he Tommy Thompson? Oh, yeah, we give a shout out now this guy very rarely

Do we

Celebrate the criminal

But today we don't know true that is yeah, you know, I'm just trying to say something

Just trying to say something that seems like we have we we care right?

So but today

This this guy deserves it. Oh my god. He deserves to be fully celebrated because he won he did win

It was a long fight

But god damn it has this man won Tommy Thompson. He found treasure

True shipwreck treasure

Years ago in 1988 so the goal is is so he was charged by a company right. Yeah, he's a research science from scientists from Ohio

He found the SS Central America

And I guess name for a ship. Well, yeah, we're strange and then it had thousands of pounds

I guess of sunken treasure that was in it right was there 150 years

And I guess this guy Tommy Thompson found the gold

And then he had it minted into coins. Yes

And now no one ever found the coins

So he got the gold the company said we never got our or money right because we you we supposed to give us millions of dollars and gold

He got the the old bouillon turn into into coins

And then they went away

And then they kept trying to ask him where where's my go coins? Where's my go coins

And he

kept it a secret and they put them in prison

So this is the things they kept them in secret because it was contempt right yeah

Which you only you really only could stay in prison for 18 months for that

Yes, because he said he heard that they they had yet to receive any money from the

$50 million sale of more than 500 gold bars and thousands of coins just part of the ship's booty

Thompson living in Florida. He went to seclusion

He became a fugitive and eventually he got arrested

Yeah, they found him in a hotel room now. This is my thing is like

He obviously didn't have the money

So because he was holed up in some like horrific hotel room and I guess he figured maybe this was sort of like the

The plan altogether because he had these coins

They were evaluated at 2.5 million dollars at the time and I guess he had given them over to a trust and blaze

And then he said that they they tried to do this 50 million dollar sale

But most of the money went towards legal fees and bank loans and all this got to shit

But they put him in jail for contempt

And you're always supposed to be there for 18 months they put him in for 10 years

Because he refused to say

Where the gold was

And so finally

They've decided that it was they can't keep him in they had to release him

I mean my opinion this man is a case against the government

He legitimately just said 10 years they put him in for contempt for contempt

And they finally just said I don't think that he uh, I don't think this is working

And they've decided to release him

So Tommy Thompson

He got released after a decade in jail

And he still got the gold

He's got the gold

And that's things so now wherever it is

He's got to hit it now. He's free and clear

It's a real-life leprechaun

He's free and clear now

And so he could go get that gold and go and live in brazil

And he can oh he could he live in America

In a butt

Why would you?

Fuck that

I'm yeah

Fuck us

I'm honestly we put him in prison for 10 years

Seriously dude

Yeah it's just gold

He's not American currency

It's just gold you spend that anywhere

You take that and you move to fucking Colombia

And you live the life

Yeah

Because he served his time

Oh yeah I don't think they could do anything about it

So if you like shows up in court

Covered in gold like they can't do anything about it

I think that as long as the gold never appears anywhere

I think they could still get

I don't know

Type stories LPLTLLGMA.com

Is the gold his

Officially

He did time

He did 10 years

And I was for contempt

It was for contempt

It wasn't for

Necessarily for breaching the contract

Like that's a problem

Because now he's

Yeah

I've got me go

You know every single day

He's just in that fucking

All the pirates of the Caribbean

Bearing the mirror

He's more like he's made like a Johnny Depp

mural and is like

Fucking out of his own shit

And this little cell is going like

Everybody knows everybody's just love

Loves him

Yeah calling him the captain

Well this gotta be at least a couple people in prison

Do you think he

I would have told every person in prison

A different place where the gold was

And a ratio

How much are there

It's like how much fun with that B

And then you're like

And then promising guys gold

Like how much for me like

Now listen here sonny

You've got to find

Little girl like mouth

And hold on to give me a kiss

And now give me a

What a gold

It's going

He just draws an ex over some guys asshole

Where do you think the gold is

Where did he put it

What would you guys hide it

I believe

Dude I don't even want a fucking guess

Yeah

I mean you gotta bury it

It's in the desert or something

It'd be inside me

Oh it's got no it's got to be in the Caribbean somewhere

I would bury that gold

Maybe you know where

Well no one will find it

We'll put a cop budget copies of jiggly on top

But how would he know if no one got to it

I mean he's been in prison for 10 years

Someone could have found it by now

Well maybe he's got somebody

It's who

I was him

I'd have a sweet little chicken down

No

You can't trust his chicken man

No man

You can't trust his chicken

I'll tell that little chicken

Your chicken's today

I would say you sit down there

I'd be like

To see

Maybe I forgot how to say return

May return you

You'll sweet to be just beautiful woman

It's too long to leave a chicken

With that much gold on your mouth

But no what do you say he's like

Here's one gold coin

You take that and your purse

And you keep it

And the rest of the gold

That'll be there

But when I come back

If I see one coin gone

You're walking the plank

You know what I guess

Girls are going to walk the plank man

Go to the last time you made a girl walk the plank

Oh man never

Girls at these days

I feel like that

I think that buys a man's loyalty

What planks

No this idea being like

One gold coin

I'll watch you

I'll watch your gold

Man we gotta be careful right now

When the internet goes out

The season your me love you

And the stock market crashes

Met Gusto Gold

This guy's got it

He's going to win

That's what I'm saying dude

She knows

She's reading the fucking

You don't think

Little chicky

Reading the fucking the Atlantic

Looking at the got all of the various

Problems with our

With the fact that we're

Fucking heading towards a weird

Mini recession

You know she knows gold holds

So there she is

Are they just spying on this guy

Still too

Like that's when I would be

Watching him forever

Oh no that's the way that's the thing

He's got to go

That's probably kind of the problem right now

Is now he's probably moving the gold back and forth

You know um

You can get gold bars at Costco

What?

Yeah you can buy a gold bar at Costco

And then put it under your bed

And wait for the fucking government to collapse

Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Come on

Um, let's see

Hold on

It's a good bite

See look here we got these

These right there

You can go to the harrow

Yeah, you can buy a gold bar at Costco

Yeah, I don't know how much they are

Exactly

But I know what it is

Perfect gift for your insufferable uncle

Yeah

Uh $2,679

Wow

For a gold bar

That's almost worth it

Yeah

And then you know it's great about it

And you know it's awesome about it

Can't wear it

Can't do anything with it

Can you sit there

How do they put elephants on it

I don't know

It's got to look like something

I guess that's cool

But yeah, gold bar

Buy a Costco

Oh man, check those on sale

Yeah

So when you're returning

All your meatloaf

Say you got like $2,600 of meatloaf

Let's say

Just say you bought that

And you're like, hey

And you know what, I gotta return that

Give me

Here's all the meatloaf for one gold bar

Give me your gold

Give me the gold

Um

All right, so we got a couple of stories

That I'm interested in

How much time do we have left

I guess we have as much time as we want

It's our lunch show

Yeah, well we got these Florida teams

That

Killed someone

And the name of the atom lands on

They were trying to do a blood ritual

They're just shitty teenagers

There's another thing that I just

I just actually got

I got sent another email

About another

A 13-year-old

Killing somebody over a tablet

Okay

Another tablet based murder

And it's just like, it's true

We gotta be careful

The screen time

We gotta be careful with the screen time

I'm, you know, I'm not

A parent

So glad I'm not a parent

Karmie and Wendy

I didn't have to deal with anything

The fact that they showed them

Three with Nicholas Wyndham Reffen films

They love it

Sunday, you know what I mean

I don't have to deal with that

I don't have to deal with any

Blowback of the fact that we sat and watched

Push her bully during Valhalla

Rising together

And I can do that

Guz it's not gonna frame the brain

It's like it chains the brains of Karmie and Wendy

You know, but there's something

About this with the tablets

These kids are addicted

Yeah

And that's why I don't

I don't go anywhere on elementary school

Because these kids are all packing

I don't want to talk to that college student

I know, I

Kids are

These kids are packing

Really careful

Yeah

Never fuck with the child

These molesters should be more on their toes

They really should

These kids gotta be

We should give

Think about this

That would be kind of fun

With more kids with concealed and carry

Give them little tarrangers

Yeah

Why not

Yeah, one shot

That's all they got

Honestly, if we're doing this

At this point

Straight up

At this point

With the amount of pedophilia

Kind of in the news

And how much school shootings are going on

At this point

I'm saying we give

Toddler's darrangers

Darrangers

Yeah

Yeah, why not

Dive a little one

Yeah, because I can't put my finger in one

No

No, no, it's for a baby

It's for a baby or

A little woman

A little woman

Um, there was

So there was a story

We wanted to get to last week that we skipped

Yes, but this one is good

Because it's coming

Came up several times on our weekend

Oh yeah, so um

Seven men

Plead guilty in interstate robbery scheme

At Pennsylvania rest stops

These guys are fucking so stupid

There's seven guys

And they are all uglier than the last one

IAR talk about

A Delco county

Fucking crew

Yeah, so they they were all from Ohio

And one was for Tennessee

But they got caught in Pittsburgh

Yes

And basically

What they were doing was

It a phony lottery scheme

Where they would all be at a rest stop together

Dumbest scheme you've heard

Scheme is such a silly word for this too

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess it's a yeah

It's just a little trick

Stupid

It's stupid little trick

So basically

These guys would be like

Oh man, it's he's on the rest

I'm like

Oh man, my buddy just won the lottery

And we're playing poker and he's losing

You got to come play poker

Forget sir buddy

So listen to this

Okay, okay, think about this

So one man comes up to you

You're at a rest stop

Yeah

On the highway

This isn't like a truck stop

It's a rest stop

A guy comes up to you and goes

Hey

Free money behind the rest stop

Like essentially being like

This guy, but it's a convoluted way to say

Like do you want to get in on this random poker game

With us and go after this fake poker hustler

Yes

Right

And so

So you have the poster game is behind the rest stop

So you have to just go like

Okay

Yep

Oh, I wasn't on my way anywhere

That's a fact

Exactly

Hopefully this turns into some kind of Daisy Jane

Yeah, that's all I can think of

Julie

Gosh, that sounds phenomenal

I gotta go

Yeah, I got to go

Not telling me if I would go down there

So so

Oh, this is one of those amazing things

What a wonderful way

For money to kind of go for a hand hand

Told the various people

And then

You make way

I accidentally put a Bernie Sanders picture up

I just can't say it's just the amazing stuff

Just to say how

This is our normal way

For money to kind of go down

For those that have

To those that don't

And this is an amazing way for the America

Just don't work on it

Gonna work on it

It's got socials way

So basically they would trick them in the coming behind the

To play poker behind the rest stop

And the moment they got behind the rest stop

They would just beat them up and take their money

And they were doing this

For a long time in multiple states

Even in Canada

Well, I just love the fact that you'd come around

And see a scene out of guys and dolls

You'd see a scene

It's one guy

And then you see six guys

Fake playing poker

They're all like

Yeah, I'll see that

Oh, I'll raise that

Oh, you can see them all doing me like

Playing like playing dice

Just like when they come around the corner

And they're all like

Be related tonight

Yeah

Be related tonight

So they were doing this

For how many how long

Like three months

Three months they were doing it

And between the seven of them

They made $21,000

Okay, so I want you to do the math here

Seven guys

Make

21 grand

Over three months

So that seven guys

Divided by

21 grand right

So for guys that's three grand a month

Three grand for all of them

For all of them

Each so each one makes about

Not enough for rent

Yes, each one makes a grand

No, each of them made three grand

Over a grand a month

It's a grand a month

Which is not rent

No, and this is and this is why we

We're so surprised

Always remember we had a 10 met person sketch group

And and murder this

And and when we do we're doing murder

Fist we had a 10 person sketch group

And I remember like it was up to 13 at one point

But I remember always being like

Oh, we're fucking we're so funny

We're no brainer

How does this not work out for us

And I remember saying this to

I was saying this Michael Ian Black

When we were doing

Michael Michael

And he was just like

I was in a 10 person sketch group

It was called the state

We made $100 a person

For a bunch of years

He's like they paid us in being cool

It was awesome. We were broke

We got nothing and it was like

Oh, it's like it would be extremely expensive

To pay a 10 person sketch group

Any form of livable wage

It's why you didn't get it

I was just like

Oh, why did he even fucking think about that

Yeah, well, everyone always told us to ditch everybody

What you would call it

But yeah, the five men are from Cincinnati

So that's cool and we're going to be in Cincinnati very soon

Can't wait last podcast and love.com. We're over at the time

At the tap theater on April 25th

We're going to be there

So maybe we should see if these guys' family want to come

God, Julie's family is going to love our show

Yes, they're going to fucking love it

Yeah, yeah, well luckily

You know, we don't have to worry about

You know them

I don't think they're going to come

I think some of them are going to come

Hell yeah

Yeah, no, I want to show the backstage

And then I wanted it just to leave

We'll just wrap her head in a scarf or something

She doesn't want to see this

No, she wants to see the people like me

Same thing

That's what my mom doesn't want to see what I say

That is all my mom wanted

My mom's main takeaway from when she saw the live show

It's like, oh, they love it

That was just like, oh, the fans

Yeah, and she's like, thanks

I don't know if she's going to be able to handle the

Hail Satan call and response

But maybe she shouldn't

Maybe she can get into it

Maybe she

We're going to find out what's going to have

Never once

Never once

And you know what

She's going to be sitting in the AVA

Times up

Yeah, so I got to see it

Come on

Come on, it was bad

Oh, we're going to cut all this

I wish we didn't have to

I wish we didn't have to cut everything that Henry just said about my family

That's out

You can use your imagination to what it was

Haha

Yeah, you just got uninvited the thanks to him

It's not your family fully

It's happened to my family now

I it's what happens when you get married, Henry

Oh, yeah, well, it's your family now

No, I'm a pregnant

No, you are

It is this story is just so funny to me

Because not only is it a

Truly

Bad crime to do

Yeah, it's stupid

It's a stupid crime

Who has money on them

I guess they did it for three months and they got 21 grand but it's it's not worth it crime does not pay no

And this is not how you do it proof it does not pay these guys are stupid

And I don't know why they would just see you know what it you know what I think one of them is 73

Do you think that it was because that guy do you think it was because

This was an example of one friend of a friend hearing about the crime and then instead of

Getting them to call the police. They just folded them into this game

Well, when I was doing that every single time somebody else showed up

I was like sure you guys playing poker for real. I'm like no

This is you know, we're not playing poker for this

I don't understand we got all the stuff for poker and you brought money to it right and they're like

No, you see it's deeper than that

But your best part is we can entertain ourselves playing poker

Waiting for criminals and then just slowly adding guys to the table

Yeah, I think that every guy who got added was was a victim who didn't have any money

It's like listen you got to earn you keep now. It's like when you buy food

But you can't afford it and they make you wash dishes

Oh, you're pouring oh, you're a homeless person. Well, now you're an employee. You don't mean like oh great

Does that help?

Has anybody that had to wash dishes because they didn't pay for the meal?

Were they ever good at washing the dishes? I'm gonna say no

I think every time they've actually never done that and called the cops and they went to jail

Yeah, I think so too, and I also think that food's cheap and that sometimes people need to eat

They already got someone washing the dishes and they have to pay that nothing makes me say I do feel like that is the stuff

I utterly fully avoid when it comes to any of my like cop porn at all like seeing people shop left or doing that

Break my heart

People steal food like watching people get in trouble for stealing food makes me so fucking set the food

Yes, it's just food like that's that's I mean, I know it's the you lose it

But like on a grocery store and you can you count that as on your losses and shit. So just

Give him the food. It's food though. I hate the dining dash because sometimes like no guy

Dining dash is because that fucks with the server. Sometimes the waiter has to pay for it. Yes

That fucks with the server. It's like a shitty restaurant. The waiter has to pay for it. No, that's fucked up

It sucks. It's so but yeah, I was I remember I ate I'll always remember the days when I was eating at a grocery store

So I will never be angry at somebody for stealing food man

We had this trick. We used to do would we'd get like a quarter pound of cheese and then a full pound of roast beef and then we switch the stickers

Oh, wow, yeah, you just walk out with a full pound of roast beef for one dollar. Wow fucking a now see that's a good scheme

That's something you maybe work

This is something that is stupid

But I do feel like in a way. This is just men hanging out

Statue of limitations. You can't get me you're right. You can't get him

All right, you can't fucking get him. You don't know grocery store was Windexy

But we all know Windexy is where you go to work if you ever record. It doesn't make any sense Windexy because they lost

They lost. Yeah, yeah, wow. Yeah, and they lost to make no sense. Yeah, it's bad. And it was a bad one. Oh

We got listen to me. Oh, we don't oh, we know one I do

Yeah, we do we do have listen to mail and I got a I got a stinger here if you guys want. Oh, yeah, this is from Emily

Um, and she lives in Lexington, Kentucky. Here we go. Oh, come on

Come on

Oh

Is that Saul

Restonery males

The spooky stories around

It's time for less than the emails. Oh, yeah

That's good good murder ballot energy. Yeah, very very um

Dresden doll. Yeah, I think that was a soft. Yes, I'm pretty sure. That was very cool. Good work. Thank you, Emily

That was really cool good work Emily. Yeah

Now the story goes out daddy. Oh, thank God

I've been sitting on this story for 30 years

And the 90s my mom was obsessed with Dan marina smart woman

She would pretend to be him in a well chat rooms convinced media literature at pre-internet boomers that she was him

We even had a second phone line that they could call us proof

Her obsession got so bad we ended up someone has to answer

Uh

Her obsession got so bad we ended up moving down the street from him. No, we would go to his church and sit by his family

She pulled my brother out of school so they could meet him at some golf tournament

She had me male a letter to one of his kids to be friends

Note I did not want to be his friend

She even has a china cabinet full of Dan marino commemorative dinner plates. Fuck yeah

You should have been his friend. I feel like you don't understand what I'm networking

How big that is in this country. It's hard. Dan marino's children are autistic. I'm sorry. I'm at least one of them is

Unfortunately after it came out that marino was a piece of shit for cheating on his wife

The obsession seemed to fissile

Never was because he didn't cheat with my mom. Yeah, the world may never know

You still have for plates. You're gonna hold on to those plates

Yes, you are you're gonna want to hold on to those plates or you said and went over here

I'll take one hold on those plates. Yeah, Ed Larson care of LPN

P.O. Box 470 North Hollywood, California 91603 steal one of those plates for me

You are because honestly they could be worth something. I didn't know to

All I know is we did go to that Lincoln market

I got you can go bring them there. I bought Dan marino football cards there dude

You know what first of all I gotta say I don't know how true this is because

I don't think these people had enough money to live down the street from Dan marino. Oh shit

You couldn't be leaving a weird place kind of near there. No, not by Dan marino

He's gotta have a place right on the intercostal. Oh, well, that's too close to the water. Maybe he's got two homes

I'm sure he's got a million homes. Wow damn marino

Yeah, you know who I said hello to yesterday and interrupt to just day Doug flutty John Tash

whoa

That's a good one whoa here's walking down the street and I said mr. Tash

And he was like yours

I just said I didn't know that I realized like I didn't know what to say. Yeah, but I was like because like

It's not that yeah

I technically said I'm a huge fan, but you're not but

But then I kind of caveated with just like all the the way I said to him was

You know, it's just kind of crazy just seeing you all the all these years and it's good to see you

Is that what you said? Oh, yeah, that's not bad. Right. It could be worse yet. He was just like thank you

I'll tell you about it. He's huge. Yeah, we know almost John Tash is huge. He's huge. He's big old man

I had um, I saw the guy who's a doctor on the pit the the cool like the cool doctor on the pit

He's like a smaller part, but he's the one who like shows up. He works with uh, he's like

In the military gear and stuff like that. I don't want you. He's also been ready or not too. Oh wow

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's great. He's great actor. I love them

But I don't know his name or anything and he was in front of me in TSA and they like took his bag

You know the like cuz you like you messed up

He like they took his bag and he had to wait for his bag and then I leaned in behind him

I was like, you gotta gotta leave your scaffold at home

You gotta leave your scaffold at home

Yeah, Sean had a seat

Yeah, he was funny. Well, fuck you, Sean

Yeah, he's trying to engage with you that's your audience Sean. Yeah, gotta leave your scaffold

Hey, and he's like your number one fan, how dare you and his your number one fan? I love the pit

You laugh at Eddie Oh God, well out there, okay, he said a funny thing to you

Yeah, it was six o'clock in the morning at the airport and they took their back from

her man. I refuse to learn. Very tractive. Oh, sure. They're very tractive. So it's John

Tush. Yeah. I'll say hello to you. That's important for you to know. I don't give a fuck.

Yeah. If I want to say hello to a celebrity, I say hello to them.

Really? That's a couple of them. Mr. Tush.

Seems to be doing live every day, knowing for a fact, you never know where you're going to

meet John Tush. Yeah. Love the fact that when you meet John Tush, you don't say

weird things like, oh, you're taller than I thought because I didn't. I was happy.

Yes. And then laugh. How's the weather up there?

Yeah. I mean, you're going to laugh at the fact that you can't believe you're still alive

that tall. Exactly. You're a tall man age fast is what I should have said.

And then he, uh, no, I just know giant just laugh just thinking about how I made his day.

I don't know if you did. I don't know if you did. I think he made your day. He did.

He did make my day. Come see side stories on the road. Henry and I are having a

fucking blast out there. April 17th Anchorage, sold out. Can't come too bad.

Go to Fairbanks the next day on April 18th. Come to Fairbanks. We have no idea what the weather

is going to be like up there in April, but it's going to be better than it was.

Yes. It's better than February, but that honestly, we're sorry we missed and we're coming

and we're looking up to you. We're coming. You guys come. It's going to be fucking

bug. We cannot wait. I'm going to do some kind of brunch show the next day too.

I'm very excited about. I think it's just going to sit and watch you eat.

I think so. I think it's a it's a it's a mukbang. Wow. I'm just going to eat salmon for them.

That's amazing. It's more like a mukbang because you're getting paid.

Yeah. April 26th Lexington, Kentucky. We're going to hang out with Emily. What's up?

Bring out some fun. Emily, I'm coming to your fucking house. Emily, I'm going to have sex with

your dogs. May 7th LA Avalon theater 945. The Netflix is a joke festival. Come on out. We

going to get horny. We're going to be horny. Just so you know, in Los Angeles, it is also we're

up against the night of too many stars. Yes. And if you live in Los Angeles, you know,

fuck these goddamn stars, right? Shit. Yeah, stars. We are going to have, we are also going to

have celebrity guests. Yeah, we have full on celebrity guests at our show. They are currently

being booked. And we got the real stars. We are stars. Real guests. You fucking forget about

who's at the real one? Who's at the real one? There's not too many stars. Who's there? Who's

there? What hacks are there? I don't know. We're fucking hacks are there. What are the

powers are going to be there? Huh? Robert's mind. Yeah. What garbage ass fucking pieces is

shit. I'm going to be there. I love it. It's like John Stewart and Anthony Jezzelnick.

Yeah. Some Chris Rock. And it's a low level talent. Like Adam Sandler. Yeah.

You come to the Avalon where you can see our guns. I guess what? You probably I can drink

with us afterwards because you're never going to see ever Adam Sandler. Yeah. You will probably see.

You brew more than likely. If you come see us, you'll see me and Eddie go to the fucking bathroom.