SISL10 – I Don’t Feel God’s Love – Struggles in the Spiritual Life with Fr. Timothy Gallagher – Discerning Hearts Podcasts

I Don’t Feel God’s Love – Struggles in the Spiritual Life with Fr. Timothy Gallagher O.M.V.

Fr. Timothy Gallagher and Kris McGregor discuss how ongoing struggles are a normal part of the spiritual life, where both consolation and desolation play important roles in growth. Through Kathy’s experience, they show how prayer can begin with deep peace, a sense of being loved, and visible fruit in daily life, only to later shift into dryness and inner turmoil. When a Scripture passage unexpectedly brings up unresolved pain from her past, Kathy enters a state of desolation marked by feelings of distance from God, confusion, and emotional hurt, even questioning the value of continuing to pray.

Fr. Gallagher explains that this shift is not a setback but a sign of deeper grace at work. As one grows closer to God, hidden wounds may surface so they can be healed. Drawing on St. Ignatius, he notes that consolation and desolation are both normal, calling for gratitude and humility in times of light, and trust and perseverance in times of darkness. Even the painful sense of loss in desolation can lead to purification and deeper faith. He encourages seeking guidance from a wise spiritual companion, since what feels like discouragement may actually be the beginning of profound healing and transformation.

You can pick up a copy of the book here.

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Discerning Hearts Reflection Questions

1. When have I experienced both consolation and desolation in my prayer life, and how did I respond to each?
2. Do I recognize that struggles in prayer are a normal part of spiritual growth rather than a sign of failure?
3. How might God be working through difficult or dry moments in my prayer to bring about deeper healing?
4. Am I willing to remain faithful to prayer even when I feel no sense of closeness or comfort?
5. Have I ever encountered past wounds or emotions arising during prayer, and how did I handle them?
6. Do I trust that God is present and active even when I feel distant or abandoned?
7. In times of consolation, do I remain humble and grateful, aware that challenges may return?
8. In times of desolation, do I resist discouragement and hold onto hope?
9. Who in my life can serve as a wise spiritual companion when I face confusion or difficulty in prayer?
10. How might God be inviting me into deeper freedom, healing, and relationship through my current spiritual struggles?

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An excerpt from the chapter, “I Don’t Feel God’s Love”:

“This is yet another form of spiritual desolation: times when we feel no sense of God’s love, of His closeness, of warm love for others in God, but rather, we feel a kind of spiritual distance and coldness. As we’ve said so often, there is no shame in experiencing this. To feel this form of spiritual desolation does not mean that God does not love us, that we do not love Him, or that we do not desire to love others.

It simply means that God is permitting us to undergo a time of spiritual desolation because of the growth we gain when we go through it well (see the final paragraph of chapter 8). Cathy’s spiritual desolation as she prays with the calming of the storm is actually a sign that her prayer is progressing richly. For ten years, a wound in her heart has remained unhealed. God loves her too much to allow this to continue unaddressed. Almost inevitably, as she grows closer to God in prayer, this wound is touched. When it is, spiritual desolation results: pain, anger, a sense of distance from God, and an absence of all warmth. If Cathy finds wise counsel to help her understand this and if she does not stop praying, then, for the first time in ten years, deep spiritual healing can occur. Like the disciples in the boat and like Lazarus’s sisters, she will find that if Jesus slept and if he delayed two days, it was because he loved them and had a greater gift to give.”

Gallagher O.M.V, Fr. Timothy ; Gallagher O.M.V, Fr. Timothy. Struggles in the Spiritual Life: Their Nature and Their Remedies (pp. 66-67). Sophia Institute Press. Kindle Edition.

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To find more episodes from this series, visit the Struggles in the Spiritual Life Podcast

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From the book’s description:

“Here is a powerful, life-changing book that will help you understand and conquer the struggles you face in your spiritual life. It’s a book for those who love the Lord and desire holiness yet often feel adrift or stagnant in their search for spiritual growth.

All of us encounter valleys on our journey with the Lord — those periods of spiritual desolation that are a painful yet unavoidable feature of our prayer life. Spiritual desolation is as complex as we are, so understanding what is happening and responding to it properly are critical to reaching the heights of holiness.

With warmth and understanding, Fr. Gallagher carefully identifies in this book the various forms of spiritual and nonspiritual desolation and supplies the remedy for each. You’ll learn how to discern whether your struggles derive from medical or psychological conditions or whether those struggles are spiritual and permitted by the Lord for reasons of growth. In each case, you’ll be given the remedy for the struggle. You’ll also learn the forms of spiritual dryness and of the Dark Night — and how to respond to them.

In chapter after chapter, Fr. Gallagher presents a particular struggle as experienced by fictional characters and then provides the advice he gives to those who come to him for spiritual direction about that struggle. You’ll gain confidence as you journey through desolation, and you’ll learn to reject the enemy’s ploys to infect you with a sense of hopelessness.“

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Did you know that Fr. Timothy Gallagher has 14 different podcast series on Discerning Hearts Catholic Podcasts?
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