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About this Episode
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Transcript
Finding great candidates to hire can be like, well, trying to find a needle in a haystack.
Sure, you can post your job to some job board, but then all you can do is hope the right
person comes along, which is why you should try Zippercrooter for free.
At zippercrooter.com slash zip.
Zippercrooter doesn't depend on candidates finding you.
It finds them for you.
It's powerful technology identifies people with the right experience and actively invites
them to apply to your job.
You get qualified candidates fast.
So while other companies might deliver a lot of hay, Zippercrooter finds you what you're
looking for.
The needle in the haystack.
See why four out of five employers who post a job on Zippercrooter get a quality candidate
within the first day.
Zippercrooter, the smartest way to hire.
And right now, you can try Zippercrooter for free.
That's right.
Free.
Zippercrooter.com slash zip.
That zippercrooter.com slash zip.
Zippercrooter.com slash zip.
Access to affordable credit helps me pay my employees that I don't really need it.
Infliction is killing me.
Who cares?
Big retailers and making record profits.
That's why we support the Durban Marshall credit card bill.
See?
Banks and credit unions help small businesses make payroll.
This bill would cut the vital resources they need.
While increasing Megastore profits.
They deserve it.
Don't they?
Tell Congress, stop the Durban Marshall money grab for corporate megastores paid for
by the Electronic Payments Coalition.
Warning, the following Zippercrooter radio spot you are about to hear is going to be filled
with F words.
When you're hiring, we at Zippercrooter know you can feel frustrated for Lauren even.
Like your efforts are futile.
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Which is our absolute favorite F word.
In fact, four out of five employers who post on Zippercrooter get a quality candidate
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Sodom and Gamora, Texas by R.A. Lafety.
Manuel shouldn't have been employed as a census taker.
He wasn't qualified.
He couldn't read a map.
He didn't know what a map was.
He only grinned when they told him that North was at the top.
He knew better.
But he did write a nice round hand.
Like a boy's hand.
He knew Spanish and enough English.
For the sector that was assigned to him, he would not need a map.
He knew it better than anyone else.
Certainly better than any map maker.
Besides, he was poor and needed the money.
They instructed him and sent him out.
Or they thought they had instructed him.
They couldn't be sure.
Can't everyone?
All right.
Fill in everyone.
I need more papers.
We will give him more if you need more.
But there aren't so many in your sector.
Lots of them.
Love us, turn us, sorrows, even people.
Only the people, Manuel, do not take the animals.
How would you write up the animals?
They have no names.
Oh, yes, all have names.
Might as well take them all.
Only people, Manuel.
Moulos?
No.
Cornelos?
No, Manuel.
No, only the people.
No trouble.
Might as well take them all.
Only people.
God, give me strength.
Only people, Manuel.
How about little people?
Children?
Yes.
That has been explained to you.
Little people, not children, little people.
If they are people, take them.
How big they have to be.
It doesn't make any difference how big they are.
If they are people, take them.
That is where the damage was done.
The official had given a snap judgment.
And it led to disaster.
It was not his fault.
The instructions are not clear.
Nowhere in all the verbiage does it say
how big they have to be, to be counted as people.
Manuel took Moulos and went to work.
He said there was the Santa Magdalena,
a scrap of bald, headed, and desolate mountains.
Steep but not high.
And so, torrid in the afternoons,
that it was said that the old lava sometimes began
to ride and flow again from the sun's heat alone.
In the center valley, there were 5,000 acres of slag
and vitrified rock from some forgotten old blast
that had knotted the hills and destroyed their mantle,
reducing all to a terrible flatness.
This was called Sodom.
It was strewn with low lying ghosts
as off people and objects,
formed when the granite bubbled like water.
Away from the dead center,
the ravines were body deep in chaperale
and the hillsides stood grey-green with old cactus.
The stunted trees were lowered
than the giant bushes and yukka.
Manuel went with Moulos, around Easy Man
and a sparse gorned mule.
Moulos was a mule,
but there were other inhabitants of the Santa Magdalena
of a genus less certain.
Yet even about Moulos,
there was an oddity in her ancestry.
Her paternal grandfather had been a goat.
Manuel had once told me some usherl about this,
but Mr. Marshall had not accepted it.
She is a mule,
therefore her father was a jack,
therefore his father was also a jack, a donkey.
It could not be any other way.
Manuel often wondered about that,
for he had raised the whole strain of animals,
and he remembered who had been with whom.
A donkey, a jack,
two feet tall and with a beard and horns.
I always thought that he was a goat.
Manuel and Moulos stopped at noon on Los Sal Creek.
There would be no travel in the hot afternoon,
but Manuel had a job to do and he did it.
He took the forms from one of the packs
that he had unslung from Moulos
and counted out nine of them.
He wrote down all the data of nine people.
He knew all there was to know about them,
then activities and their antecedents.
He knew that there were only nine regular people
in the 900 square miles of the Santa Magdalena.
But he was systematic,
so he checked the list over again and again.
There seemed to be somebody missing.
Oh, yes, himself.
He got another form
and filled out all the data on himself.
Now in one way of looking at it,
his part of the census was finished.
If only he had looked at it that way.
He would have saved worry and trouble for everyone.
And also 10,000 lines.
But the instructions they had given him were ambiguous.
And for all that they had tried to make them clear.
So very early the next morning,
he rose and cooked beans and said,
might as well take them all.
He called Moulos from the thorn patch
where she was grazing, gave her salt and loaded her again.
Then they went to take the rest of the census,
but in fear, there was a clear duty to get the job done.
But there was also a dread of it
that his superiors did not unsan't.
There was reason also why Moulos was loaded
so she could hardly walk with packs of census forms.
Manuel prayed out loud as they climbed
the pergatorial scar above Los Alps Creek.
Wreger per nostros pecadores aura,
the very gochist to angry and stark in the early morning.
Yen la aura de nostro mote.
Three days later, an incredible dwarf staggered
into the outskirts of high plains, Texas,
followed by a dying wolf-sized animal
that did not look like a wolf.
A lady called the police to save the pair
from rock throwing kids who might have killed them
and the two as yet unclassified things
were taken to the station house.
The dwarf was three foot high,
a skeleton stretched over with brown bird leather.
The other was an uncannion-looking dog-sized beast,
so full of birds and thorns
that it might have been a porcupine.
It was a nightmare replica of a shrunken meal.
The midget was mad.
The animal had more presence of mind.
She lay down quietly and died,
which was the best she could do
considering the state that she was in.
Who is census chief now?
Ask the mad midget.
Is Mr. Marshall's boy the census chief?
Mr. Marshall is, yes, who are you?
How do you know Marshall?
And what is that which you are pulling out of your pants?
If they are pants?
Census list, names of everybody in the Santa Megdalena,
I had to steal it.
It looks like a microfilm,
the writing is so small,
and the role goes on and on.
There must be a million names here.
Little bit more, little bit more.
I get two bits of name.
They got Marshall there.
He was very busy, but he came.
He had been given a deadline by the mayor
and the citizen's group.
He had to produce a population of 10,000 people
for high plains Texas.
And this was difficult
for there weren't that many people in the town.
He had been working hard on it though,
but he came when the police called him.
You, Marshall's little boy,
you look just like your father said the midget.
That voice, I should know that voice,
even if it's cracked to pieces,
that has to be Manuel's voice.
Sure I'm Manuel,
just like I left 35 years ago.
You can't be Manuel,
shrunk three feet and 200 pounds and aged a million.
You look here at my Census slip.
It says I'm Manuel
and here are nine more of the regular people
and one million of the little people.
I couldn't get them on the right forms though.
I had to steal their list.
You can't be Manuel, said Marshall.
He can't be Manuel,
said the big policemen and the little policemen.
Maybe not then, the dwarf conceited.
I thought I was,
but I wasn't sure.
Who am I then?
Let's look at the other papers and see which one I am.
No, you can't be any of them either Manuel
and you surely can't be Manuel.
Give him a name anyhow and get him counted.
We got to get to that 10,000 mark.
Tell us what happened, Manuel.
If you are, which you aren't, but tell us.
After I counted the regular people,
I went to count the little people.
I took a spade and spayed it off the top of their town
to get in.
But they put an encanto on me
and made me and Mula run a treadmill for 35 years.
Where was this?
At the little people town.
No of it, the knee.
But after 35 years, the encanto wore off
and Mula and I stole the list of names and ran away.
But where did you really get this list of so many names
written so small?
Suffering saddle sores.
Marshall, don't ask the little bug so many questions.
You got a million names in your hand.
Certify them, send them in.
There's enough of us here right now.
We declare that place unannounced forthwith.
This will make high planes the biggest town
in the whole state of Texas.
So Marshall certified them and sent them into Washington.
This gave high planes the largest percentage increase
of any city in the nation.
But it was challenged.
There were some sore heads in Houston
who said that it wasn't possible.
They said high planes had nowhere near that many people
and there must have been a miscount.
And then the days that the argument was going on,
they cleaned up and fed Manuel.
If it were he and tried to get from him a cogent story.
How do you know it was 35 years you were on the treadmill Manuel?
Well, it seemed like 35 years.
It could have only been about three days.
Then how come I'm so old?
We don't know that Manuel.
We sure don't know that.
How big were these people?
Who knows?
A finger long, maybe two.
And what is their town?
It is an old prairie dog town that they fixed up.
You have to dig down with a spade to get to the streets.
Maybe they were really all prairie dogs Manuel.
Maybe the head got you and you only dreamed
that they were little people.
Prairie dogs can't write as good as on that list.
Prairie dogs can't write hardly at all.
That's true.
The list is hard to explain and such odd names on it too.
Where is Mula?
I don't see Mula since I came back.
Mula just lay down and died Manuel.
Gave me the slip.
Why didn't I think of that?
Well, I'll do it too.
I'm too worn out for anything else.
Before you do Manuel, just a couple of last questions.
Make them real fast then.
I'm on my way.
Did you know these little people were there before?
Oh, sure.
They're a long time.
Did anybody else ever see them?
Oh, sure.
Everybody in the Santa Magnalena see them.
Eight, nine people see them.
And Manuel, how do we get to the place?
Can you show us on a map?
Manuel made a grimace and died quietly
as Mula had done.
He didn't understand those maps at all
and took the easy way out.
They buried him, not knowing for sure
whether he was Manuel come back or what he was.
There wasn't much of him to bury.
It was the same night, very late,
and after he had been asleep,
that Marshall was awakened by the ring
of an authoritative voice.
He was being harangued by a four-inch tall man
on his bedside table.
A man of dominating presence and acid voice.
Come out of that cot you clown.
Give me your name and station.
I'm Marshall, and I suspect that you are a late pig
sandwich or caused by one.
I should eat so late.
Say, sir, when you reply to me,
I am no pig sandwich and I do not
commonly call on fools.
Get on your feet, you clod.
And wonderingly, Marshall did.
I want the list that was stolen.
Don't get it.
What list?
Don't stall.
Don't stutter.
Give me our tax list that was stolen.
It isn't words that I want from you.
Listen, you cicada.
I'll take you and you will not.
You will notice that you are paralyzed from neck down.
I suspect that you were always so from there up.
Where is the list?
Sent it to Washington.
You bag-eyed beamer.
Do you realize what a trick that will be?
You grandfather of inanities.
It will be a pleasure to destroy you.
I don't know what you are, or if you are really.
I don't believe that you even belong on the world.
Not belong on the world.
We own the world.
We can show written title to the world, can you?
I doubt it.
Where did you get the title?
None of your business.
I'd rather not say.
Oh well, we got it from the promoter of sorts.
A kind man really.
I'll have to admit that we were taken,
but we were in a spot and needed a world.
He said that the larger bifurcates were too stupid
to be in nuisance.
We should have known that the stupider, a creature,
the more of a nuisance it is.
I had about decided the same thing
about the smaller a creature.
We may have to fumigate that old mountain mess.
Oh, you can't harm us.
We're too powerful.
But we can obliterate you in an instant.
Huh.
Say, huh, sir, when you address me,
do you know the place in the mountain that is called Sodom?
I know the place.
It was caused by a large meteor.
It was caused by one of these.
What he held up was the size of a grain of sand.
Marshall could not see it in detail.
There was another city of you bug-eyed beasts there
said the small martinette.
You wouldn't know about it.
It's been a few hundred years.
We decided it was too close.
Now I have decided that you are too close.
I think that size couldn't crack a walnut.
You floundering fop.
It will blast this sound flat.
What will happen to you?
Nothing.
I don't even blink for things like that.
How do you trigger it off?
You gaping goof.
I don't have time to explain that to you.
I have to get to Washington.
It may be that Marshall did not believe himself quite away.
He certainly did not take the threat seriously enough
for the little man did trigger it off.
When the final count was in,
high planes did not have the highest percentage
gaining population in the nation.
Actually, it showed the sharpest decline
from 7,313 to nothing.
They were going to make a forest preserve out of the place,
except that it has no trees worthy of the name.
Now it is proposed to make it the Sodom and Gomorrah State Park
from the two mysterious scenes of desolation there,
just seven miles apart.
It is an interesting place,
as wild a region as you will ever find.
And it is recommended for the man who has seen everything.
End of Sodom and Gomorrah, Texas, by R.A. Lafety.
Finding great candidates to hire can be like,
well, trying to find a needle in a haystack.
Sure, you can post your job to some job board,
but then all you can do is hope the right person comes along,
which is why you should try Zip Recruiter for free.
At ziprecruiter.com slash zip.
Zip Recruiter doesn't depend on candidates finding you.
It finds them for you.
It's powerful technology identifies people
with the right experience,
and actively invites them to apply to your job.
You get qualified candidates fast.
So while other companies might deliver a lot of hay,
Zip Recruiter finds you what you're looking for.
The needle in the haystack.
See why four out of five employers who post a job
on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate
within the first day.
Zip Recruiter, the smartest way to hire,
and right now, you can try Zip Recruiter for free.
That's right, free at ziprecruiter.com slash zip.
That ziprecruiter.com slash zip,
ziprecruiter.com slash zip.
Access to affordable credit helps me pay my employees
that I don't really need it.
Infliction is killing me.
Who cares?
Big retailers and making record profits.
That's why we support the Durban Marshall credit card bill.
See, things in credit unions help small businesses
make payroll.
This bill would cut the vital resources they need.
While increasing Megastore profits.
They deserve it, don't they?
Tell Congress, stop the Durban Marshall money grab
for corporate megastores paid for
by the Electronic Payments Coalition.
Finding great candidates to hire can be like,
well, trying to find a needle in a haystack.
Sure, you can post your job to some job board,
but then all you can do is hope the right person comes along,
which is why you should try Zip Recruiter for free.
At ziprecruiter.com slash zip.
Zip Recruiter doesn't depend on candidates finding you.
It finds them for you.
It's powerful technology identifies people
with the right experience and actively invites them
to apply to your job.
You get qualified candidates fast.
So while other companies might deliver a lot of hey,
Zip Recruiter finds you what you're looking for.
The needle in the haystack.
See why four out of five employers who post a job
on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate
within the first day.
Zip Recruiter, the smartest way to hire.
And right now, you can try Zip Recruiter for free.
That's right, free at ziprecruiter.com slash zip.
That ziprecruiter.com slash zip.
Zip Recruiter.com slash zip.
