Soothing Each Other's Triggers - Secure Relationships Part 5

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Imagine noticing your partner's distress instantly—and knowing exactly how to soothe it. In this episode, Sharla and Robert dive into partner soothing.

Learn how to uncover 2-3 enduring vulnerabilities, avoid triggers, and use simple antidotes to uplift each other. Learn why 24/7 availability isn't codependency (it's a system of mutuality and interdependence), plus get exercises to identify vulnerabilities and a fun "how well do you know your spouse" game. Turn your “couple bubble” into a haven of healing and joy.

Your Homework – Do This Week

1. Identify vulnerabilities: Brain dump incidents, feelings, patterns—boil to 2-3.
2. Spot partner's: Review past reactions, discuss to confirm.
3. Create antidote lists: Soothers for each vulnerability.
4. Play the game: Test ideas without telling—observe reactions.
5. Discuss: Share lists, spark expertise-building talk.

Resources

Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin – Core for vulnerabilities/soothing.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman – Enduring vulnerabilities + processing tools.

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