Spouse's PERSISTENT INSISTENCE on chest ENHANCEMENT surgery caused me to ponder if this

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I wish you enjoy the tale.

Spouse's persistent insistence on chest enhancement surgery caused me to ponder if this unhealthy

partnership is grounds for separation.

I, a 27-year-old woman, have been wed to my partner, a 34-year-old male, for over a year.

We've been together for six years.

He's a gym freak which I don't have a problem with except for when he sometimes tries to

impose his routine on me.

Pressure me into adopting his dietary habits.

I exercise two, I'm five feet six inches slash 130 pounds, but I enjoy my food and nothing

will change that.

That's not what I'm posting about though.

Lately I can't wear a dress without him telling me I look good but that I would have looked

better if I had that breast augmentation surgery.

He never complained about my breasts for six years until the past four to five months.

I've told him before that I'm not against it but not planning to get one.

It took me years to regain my confidence because my mother used to make hurtful remarks

about my chest like if it's something I didn't achieve.

A few days ago we were having sex and he didn't hesitate to remind me again that I would

look ten times better with the implants which turned me off instantly.

I don't remember what I exactly said but I said something along the lines of I know how

it feels.

Never mind you're the perfect size.

The big ones hurt anyway he got mad and called me immature and all.

Mind you he's been pressuring me to have the surgery for four months now and I never

snapped at him.

Edit, I'm an A cup, yesterday we were getting ready to go to his friends wedding but I ended

up staying home.

He brought up the surgery again and I snapped at him.

I reminded him that we dated for five years before we got married.

He had plenty of time to realize that I'm not good enough for him and break up with me

to find a woman who has what he's looking for.

I do have eyes.

He's right I'm flat-chested but I have a nice body overall.

He said he loves me and wants to be with me but feels he could be more attracted to me

with bigger breasts.

I ended up telling him to go out one.

I can't shake off the feeling that our recent arguments are taking us down a toxic path.

It's not the kind of relationship I want for us.

Is this worth considering divorce over?

Other than this we do get along very well but I feel like he's taking me back to the days

when I would stand in front of the mirror for minutes thinking I would never find a man

who would like me if I myself don't like what I'm seeing.

Edit for the weirdos asking slash going to for pics to see if they're a handful or not.

I'm asking if his behavior is acceptable or not.

Not if I'm really flat-chested.

I am.

I don't need to send any pics for you to judge.

Update 1

I had no intention of mentioning divorce not until I get some answers that could help

with my decision.

I was hoping we would end up agreeing on counseling or something.

I just wanted an honest conversation to know if there was a way to fill that void for

him without ever getting the surgery.

I sat him down last night and just like usual he tried to change the subject.

I made it clear to him that it's either we talk about it now or he never ever brings

breast surgery up again.

All that did it for him.

I asked him why he suddenly after six years together want me to get one.

He wouldn't give me a straight answer.

I told him if I'm to consider having one he needs to be honest with me about what changed

in the past few months.

He grabbed his phone and showed me some women's pictures on his phone and let me tell you

they weren't Instagram models.

They were 100% of models.

He showed me more than five pictures with no shame or the slightest consideration of my

feelings.

With each pic he said things like see you would look ten times hotter she's not even

as gorgeous as you are but I asked him if I decide to never get the surgery would he

ever drop the idea.

Like can remove past it he said it's something he can't stop thinking about because he really

feels like he would be more attracted to me and that I myself would feel more conference.

I didn't with the boob job.

I do have eyes and just like I know how small my chest is I know that I have a nice body

figure.

People see people compliment so they can't all be liars.

I asked what he ever liked about me in general because from the pictures he showed me I didn't

see any woman that resemble me even a bit.

He said that I'm gorgeous and have a killer smile and he likes my curvy hips.

I asked if there's anything else he likes about me in general.

I was hoping he would mention something other than my body or anything and all he said was

your lips I told him since I'm considering breast augmentation surgery is there anything

else he thinks I could fix so he feels more attracted to me while we're at it.

I hope that he would at least say other than my boobs he loves everything about me.

He said you're good.

From the grammatical errors you could tell I'm not a native English speaker.

I'm Brazilian I told him I will think about it and said good night because I didn't want

to give him the satisfaction of seeing my tears.

I don't know if I'm just naturally stupid and never paid attention to the red flags or

he-

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Just decided to show me his true colors now that were married.

By the way since I'm asked, yes he does know about my history with my mother.

Every woman in my family has a C cup and up, including my younger sister.

I'm the only one with a cup.

He initiated sex later and I told him there's a lot on my mind right now.

He didn't even argue and after like five minutes said I will pay for it.

And you worry about that when we met he was around 230 pounds.

He's five feet eight inches and never went to the gym before.

He's 190 pounds now.

I'm mentioning this because some said I hooked up with him for his look slash physique.

Physique wasn't on the table back then, but it never slash would matter to me as long

as the person in front of me cares about me for who I am.

I myself not perfect.

Anyway he was so insecure about his looks and I never ever said a thing about it.

I use slash still voice how.

I love this and that about him.

I boosted his ego just for him to decide that he would be more attracted to me if I

get a boob job after six years together.

And for those saying I'm lazy for not going to the gym with him and that he wants what's

best for me.

I said I do exercise.

Yes, I'm an A cup and I know it's not for everyone and I respect that.

But I'm fucking gorgeous.

My mother slash him or anyone else won't change that.

I'm a babe deal with it.

He himself used to mention how I get looks all the time when we're out.

I felt hurt and cried because it hurts to not feel desired by the person you love the most

and want to be desired by other than that I'm perfectly happy with my body.

And if I ever decide to get the boob job I will get it for me not for someone who finishes

in two minutes and can't even hit the spot.

I need time to make a plan before I start the process.

When everything is ready and I have a place lined up I will serve him the papers.

By the way I will initiate sex tonight and every night until the day I serve him at it.

I get it now it's a bad idea but I will go with it for tonight at least.

I bought a dildo today thrice his size and I'm using it right after he finishes.

If he goes low I'm going lower until I have an exit plan ready.

Thank you to each and everyone who took the time to read my post and share their support

slash advice.

Your words have really made a difference for me.

Thanks to the men who offered their perspective slash advice.

Your honesty has been eye opening edit.

I never knew Reddit wasn't for such problems and that I wasn't supposed to post on this

sub.

I tried another sub and they asked for an account starting with Thora.

I can't talk about this with family and friends especially not my mother.

It's just embarrassing.

The best option for me was people on the internet.

Update 2.

I couldn't let him touch me after everything he said and using it in front of him also

would have been a treat for him.

I was just mad.

Besides I didn't want a risk getting pregnant because I know my luck.

Who would want to go through morning sickness and labor for two minutes.

Anyway I left the toy on my nightstand and he saw it the next morning and asked me about

it.

I told him that since we decided to be open about our sexual needs and he advised me not

to take them personally.

I thought he wouldn't mind me trying to get the job done after all these years.

He said that was immature of me and that I was just trying to hurt his feelings.

I told him that's exactly what he did and left for work because why bother now.

Now for the update.

I started the process of divorce a few days after the last update.

He will be served in a week or two.

I left him three days ago and took my belongings while he was at work and called to let him

he's been calling and texting non-stop since.

His younger sister called the same day.

His older brother called twice last night and texted me asking what happened saying that

my ex-husband is going crazy trying to reach me and that I should at least answer his calls

and communicate like adults.

I called my ex-husband to let him know that if he sends me another member of his family

to try and get me to talk to him.

I will just send them a pick of my chest alongside a pick of one of those of models he showed

me and let them know that I can't talk to him until I go from this to this.

Until then, I don't want to hear from more about him and that until then will probably

take forever.

He got the message and apologized.

Said he will give me some time to cool down.

That's all.

I found myself a really nice place to stay and temporarily until the divorce is finalized.

I know I seem like I'm not taking this seriously but it's the only way for me to not break down.

I do feel sad.

Not sad that I'm getting divorced but sad that I'm losing someone I thought would never

make me go through something like this and leave me no choice but to leave him.

I'm still in love with the man I met six years ago.

Not this man he turned into.

But not gonna lie.

I love myself more now.

I have to choose myself and take care of me no matter what people around me think.

My sisters know that I'm getting divorced.

My mother will probably know through them.

Thank you to everyone who commented on my previous posts.

Your support and advice have meant a lot to me.

For those who see themselves in my acts and believe that he could treat me like that

and I should just stay with him for the sake of saving my marriage.

Please spare your time and see a therapist instead.

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Through his phone slash laptop to see if he's cheating.

I couldn't.

Not knowing the answer to something that will probably fuck with myself as steam is better.

I just want to get out of this with as little damage to my mental health as possible now

onto second story.

Daughter revealed uncomfortable behavior from my brother.

I didn't invite him to our family cookout, but now the family thinks she's lying.

So, our family has this big barbecue cookout once every two months.

People take turn on whose house it is going to be next.

This time it is in our house.

These events are really big in our family, almost like a festival so, everyone closer to

us will come.

Recently, my daughter who is 13 years old seemed really upset and tried to make it post-pone

or just to avoid it.

Which is odd because she loves these family cookouts.

She wouldn't tell me the reason until she finally did.

She said she is not comfortable with her uncle Frank, my brother.

I asked her why she thinks like that.

She says he gives her weird vibes.

Some things he does that really makes her uncomfortable hugging her tight, holding her waste

gently.

Always give some excuses to be near her.

She claims she caught him looking at her chest.

He also makes comments like you are going to be a heartbreaker.

You are turning into a really beautiful woman.

You are mature for your age.

Last cookout he asked her if she has kissed anyone.

When she was shy he told, dear don't worry, I won't tell anyone.

It will be our secret.

I asked her would she be comfortable if we do not invite him.

She agreed to that.

I did just that.

I only invited my mom, my dad, my younger brother and my sister.

Frank knew that I didn't invite him.

I just said what my daughter told me.

Frank took it as an offense and said my daughter is lying.

In fact she was the one who always comes onto him.

I told him, I cannot have him around her.

I am sorry but I have to respect my daughter's boundaries.

The whole family is divided.

But most of them took Frank's side.

They think my daughter is just lying for attention.

I can tell she is not lying because I heard her crying because she thinks her family hates

her.

I told her that is not the case and not to blame herself.

My brother said since Frank hasn't done anything it would be unfair to uninvite him because

what he said was just words.

Not like he meant it.

And just tell my daughter to stay away from him if he makes her uncomfortable.

The only person is on my side is my wife.

She is sure Frank is showcasing predator behavior towards our daughter.

She was groomed when she was a teenager and says this is exactly how it starts.

I don't know.

I do want my daughter to feel safe.

Frank has never shown any type of predator behavior.

In fact I heard him say a lot of times that pedophiles should be sentenced to death.

He is overprotective of his own daughter.

But on the other hand I cannot ignore my daughter's feelings.

Did I do something wrong here?

Update 1

There was a big fight.

I can't tell all the details but I can say one thing is clear that my brother Frankie will

not be near my daughter.

My daughter is very upset because of the fight.

Some people are still calling her a liar and an attention seeker but I can see how it

is affecting her mental health.

So I have decided to cancel the cook out.

Instead we, me, my wife, my son and my daughter will go to a Korean barbecue instead.

Hope this can cheer her up.

I will give a full update about the whole thing later on.

Take care.

I am so so so sorry about the fight and the probable loss of some of your family.

But may I also say thank you for choosing your daughter.

It will be hard for her because she will feel guilty and think maybe she should have

just stayed quiet so the family drama wouldn't be happening.

That is going to suck for her.

Hopefully her mom can help her since she went through something similar or maybe she should

see a counselor or maybe a support group.

Update 2

Okay, it has been a hectic few days for us.

Yes, I did take my daughter out for a Korean barbecue.

She enjoyed it.

Might have got a little sick because she thinks she can handle spice.

But happy nonetheless.

Well, the talk with my family didn't go so well.

They were all defending my brother.

They all think either my daughter was lying or trying to frame Frank because she was at

that age of being a rebellious teenager.

I don't see the point of where she had to lie.

She had no bad blood with my brother.

She would always say Frank was her favorite uncle.

She has no reason to lie.

I didn't listen to them.

I canceled the cook out and told them anyone who will call my daughter a liar or a bad

name will never be invited to our lives.

I said this especially to my parents they believe me but still tried to defend my brother.

Lastly, I talked to Frank in public.

He denied everything.

He was insistent on my daughter being a liar and that she admitted to having a crush

on him.

I cannot believe that.

I told him to not come to our house.

If he wants to meet or talk to me we will go in a public place but he is never to be seen

around my daughter.

My younger brother has been quiet because his fiance berated him for taking Frank's

side.

You see she works with an NGO that helps women who are suffering abuse and assault.

She came to our house and had a little chat and explained things to my daughter that this

is not her fault.

I am glad my brother picked right.

My daughter has been sad.

She loved the cookouts and BBQs and now we might never attend because Frank might be

there.

She cries and thinks this is her fault.

She even said she will say sorry to Frank and take back what she said just be done with

it because she doesn't want people to think she is a bad person.

It honestly made me sad that she thinks like that.

It is not her fault.

She shouldn't apologize for something like that.

She is still very much disappointed.

We will arrange a therapy for her.

I don't want to lose my cheerful daughter over this.

Frank's girlfriend did call me to curse us out by the way and she is blocked.

That's it.

I am going to focus on my family from now on.

I don't need people who blame my daughter instead of the culprit in my life.

Update 3

First of all, my daughter is not doing very well.

I took her to a therapist and she finally opened up about everything.

I am ashamed to say I failed as a father.

First of all, I just want to make it clear that my pedophile brother Frank did not have

any intercourse with my daughter but what he did was no less disgusting.

My daughter said that his uncle and her became very close.

She would often share things with him.

Even the fact that she had a crush on him.

To which he told her if she wasn't his niece he would definitely ask.

I do understand where my daughter is coming from.

She is a child.

She doesn't know any better but shouldn't my brother be her guide?

They exchanged messages and in one message he asked her to show him her new bra.

There were many messages and it was clear he was testing my daughter's boundaries.

The straw that broke Camel's back was the few before I made my first post.

She went to visit him and he somehow lured her into the bathroom and asked her to touch

it.

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This thing, she ran from there and has been in panic mode ever since.

Needless to say my daughter is a mess because she thinks this is all her fault because

she confessed that she had a crush on him and he took it too far.

My wife and I always reassured her she did nothing wrong.

My own brother is a pedophile.

I couldn't control myself and I lost all control and went to his house.

We got into a fight, the police was called.

I spent the night in jail.

I filled charges against him and police is still doing investigation.

They did find CP in my brother's old computer but he denies ever having it.

He still claims his account got hacked and that my daughter is lying because she admitted

that she had a crush on him and he turned her down.

That's why she is making it all up.

I swear to God, would have killed him that night if his girlfriend didn't intervene.

And as for my parents, that was a disappointing because they are taking my brother's side.

They claim that bringing police into this will only bring shame and he will lose his daughter.

Take what the fuck.

I tried reasoning with them but it is no use.

I blocked them and just focusing on my daughter.

One more thing, I didn't form Frank's ex, his daughter's mother.

She has taken her in and will be fighting for full custody.

My younger brother is the only one actively supporting us through all of this.

I don't think I need those people in my life who would rather support a child predator.

I am not okay.

I also joined therapy because this has been too much for me.

I can't imagine what my daughter is going through.

I mean Frank literally played with her when she was a kid.

He was there in the hospital when she was born.

How could he do this to his own niece?

Lastly, I am thinking about moving from here.

This all has been a really bad memory for us.

Now that we have hard proof of Frank's pedophilia, including asking to see daughters bra, I'm giving

anyone you feel might be possible to salvage the relationship with,

X-Lash-Y-Slash-C people one final chance to come back to reality before cutting you off forever.

Frank is a pedophile.

He has been in daughter's life since she was a literal baby.

Lots of girls develop crushes on adult males in their life and their teens.

That is never an excuse for grooming and using it as a defense is disgusting and despicable.

The fact that the family closed ranks around Frank is one of the most disappointing.

I opening experiences of my life.

But I could understand that some people would be unsure of how to proceed without hard evidence.

Well there is evidence now.

We know for a certainty that Frank is a pedophile.

It can't be excused any longer.

We are permanently cutting off anyone who willingly maintains any connection to Frank,

no matter who they are.

If you maintain a relationship with Frank, then you are telling me that you're okay with

Frank grooming and abusing my daughter.

And if that's the case, then you are a monster.

I won't respond to any arguments or debates.

The matter of Frank's pedophilia is settled, and the fact of Frank's attempt to groom and

abuse my daughter is settled as well.

No uncle would ever ask to see their nieces braw for any other reason.

If you're willing to see reason, please feel free to send us a detailed, heartfelt apology

explaining why you did what you did.

If not, please lose all my contact information, we are done forever.

If you hadn't, if you had swept it under the carpet, your baby girl would have harmed

even more.

You showed her you had her back when she needed it the most.

I don't know you.

I'm proud of you.

The world needs more men and fathers like you, leave your brother and those defending him

to rot in that cesspit, and watch your child grow.