Spouse totally changed her ATTITUDE towards our child when he PREPARED supper INDEPENDENTLY

I hope you enjoy this story.

Spouse totally changed her attitude towards her child when he prepared supper independently

and I praised him excessively, now she's pampering our daughter and completely neglecting

him.

My partner has always been the one to cook around the house, and as an Italian, it's

one of the reasons I fell so hard for her.

I've offered to help out in the kitchen or even cook for her sometimes, but she's always

firmly, yet politely, told me no and I can't really blame her because I did not get either

of my parents' good-cooking genes.

Because of this I've always been sure to thank her for every meal and I've taught my

children to do the same.

For the past year or so my son has been watching a ton of cooking videos and he's really

been wanting to try his hand at cooking.

My wife was happy to teach him and at least twice a week the two of them will go out to

the store, by ingredients for a meal he found and come home and make it.

It's been awesome seeing them bonding more, since they haven't really had much overlap

in interests before this.

About a month ago after dinner, my son asked his mom if he could try making us all a meal

on his own.

I said it sounded like a great idea, and she hemmed in hard for a little while before

agreeing.

So that Saturday she took him to the store to get his ingredients and then he got to work.

She supervised here and there, but he insisted that she didn't need to so eventually she

came to the living room and sat with my daughter and I looking a little bit dejected so I reassured

her that I was sure he'll still want to cook with her, he just wanted to try it out on

his own.

That seemed to help out a little but she still seemed a little off.

When he finished and we all sat down to eat, I was honestly surprised at just how good

he managed to do on his own.

I feel bad saying it but even after a year or so of cooking with his mother, I expected

him to mess up more than he did.

I wanted to encourage this interest of his so I was sure to let him know while I was

eating how good he did and gently bring up the few mistakes he had made.

I did it a lot more than I usually would with my wife's cooking and in hindsight I can

see that that's what started all of this.

His sister, being his little sister, was not as supportive as I was and quite rudely insulted

his cooking.

I was going to tell her to mind her manners and be thankful that he cooked for us when

my wife made a sound and pushed her plate away before agreeing and saying that it was too

salty and overcooked.

This took me a back and I could tell my son took it hard too as his mood visibly dropped.

I didn't say anything at the time since my wife and I never argue in front of the kids

and I just kept up the praise of my son's cooking as his mother picked at the plate for

a little while longer before she took her and her daughter's plates to the kitchen.

A little while later, I had went to check on my son and I could tell that he had been

crying so I comforted him, told him I was sure his mother loved the food and that she

was probably just having a bad day, not to take it personally.

Then later, once the kids were asleep, I confronted her about it and she tried to just brush

it off, but I pushed and she got mad and said that I complimented his cooking far more

than I ever complimented hers.

This caught me off guard since I didn't expect my wife to be jealous of our son and

I unfortunately let out an involuntary scoff at this.

She blew up at me for laughing and we ended up arguing for a while before eventually I

managed to explain that I was complimenting him so much because I wanted to encourage

him to keep cooking and she even admitted that she shouldn't have been so harsh about

it.

She said she would apologize to him and I figured that everything was settled.

That Monday, when I was driving my son to school, I noticed he wasn't acting normal and

looking out the window, trying to hide his face from me.

I asked him what was wrong and he told me he was fine, but I could tell he was fighting

back tears so I asked him again and he broke and told me that after I had left to get

the car started, she told him that she was going to be cooking alone again from now on.

I was furious about this, but kept my cool and told him I would talk to her about it.

Bought him a snack from the store before dropping him off at school.

I left work early so I could get home before the kids and talk to my wife.

I'll admit I didn't handle it as well as I could have and we ended up in a shouting

match where I was calling her childish for being so vindictive towards our son because

she was upset with me and she called him a baby and said he shouldn't be so sad about

not being allowed to cook since it wasn't a man's job to do so anyway.

We ended up leaving each other alone to cool down and when our kids got home, my wife

took our daughter out and came back later with a load of toys and clothes for her.

I knew immediately what she was trying to do and that night I told her that I would

not let her use the money I make for our family to punish my son.

She didn't take this well and we ended up arguing again.

I slept in the guest room and have been up to this point.

For this past month my wife has kept up this vindictive showering of our daughter with

attention and gifts while almost entirely ignoring my son.

I've been talking to my parents and brother about this and while they agree that she's

wrong, they also don't see it as that big of a problem and think it'll sort itself

out.

At this point, with how she's been treating our son, I'm starting to fall out of love

with her, but I also don't want to just jump to divorce if there's something that I

can do to fix this whole situation.

I can honestly say that we've never had a fight this big.

Sure, we bicker every now and then, but she's never taken that out on my son in the

past.

I feel responsible and guilty about what happened and I've been trying to do nice things

for my son when I can, but I also don't want to mirror my wife's behavior so I've also

been taking my daughter with us about half the time we go places, but whenever we do, she's

been very rude and always talks about all the stuff her mother does for her lately because

she knows it bothers her brother.

Seeing the way my wife has been treating our son has made me second guess our marriage,

but I don't want to just jump straight to divorce either.

Any advice on what I should do or how to best bring up the topic of therapy would be

appreciated.

Update obligatory, but genuine, thank you for all of the support, even the comments that

got a bit nasty.

That kind of pushback helped me to see that things were a lot worse than I realized.

Some of you could do with being a bit nicer, but the advice is appreciated all the same.

Short recap, my wife and son cooked dinner together most nights for about a year.

My son wanted to try cooking dinner on his own, which my wife accepted, but started acting

funny.

She ended up rudely criticizing his meal, then the next day she told him that she would

do the cooking on her own from then on, and after I confronted her about this, she started

neglecting slash emotionally abusing him while shoveling positivity onto our daughter.

The first thing I did after making my previous post was take my son to my parents' house

to tell them what was happening from his mouth.

I figured they may be more receptive to seeing the pain their grandson was going through

and not just right it off like they had with me.

They ended up understanding and supportive of my next move, which was kicking my wife

out till she worked through whatever problem she was going through.

Next I went to a lawyer and consulted with him.

He told me it would be best to have the papers ready to go, even if I wasn't sure I wanted

the divorce yet because it's better to get it done as quick as possible if I decided

to go through with it because in Canada you have to either have to separate for a year,

or prove abuse or adultery.

I took the kids to my folks house the next Saturday and came back with my mother.

I let her talk with my wife first, then when they were done I told her that I needed her

to leave the house until she sorted out whatever was causing her to act this way to our son.

She, surprisingly, agreed to this.

I'm guessing hearing things from my mother knock some sense into her, as they were always

quite close.

I told her that my parents were willing to let her stay there during the time because

her parents lived too far away, where I could put her up in a nearby motel.

I would also pay for her to see a therapist every week, which I told her was mandatory

for fixing things.

Our kids spent the night with my parents and we moved her out the next day, we both sat

with the kids and told them what was happening.

Our son understood, but our daughter didn't and was quite upset, but eventually we calmed

her down.

Things went well for the first month or so.

She went to all of the weekly appointments and I met her for dinner a few nights a week

with the kids and she seemed to be treating our son properly again.

I was really hopeful that she had been making progress.

Then the Friday after her fifth therapy appointment she sent me a wall of text messages about

how I was an asshole and I was trying to steal her children from her and how I was probably

fucking someone on the side.

I tried calling her to see what she was talking about, but I think she shut her phone off.

I called my mother and she told me that my wife had left the house earlier that day with

all of her stuff without saying anything to my mom.

I'm not 100% sure what happened next since my wife has refused to tell me most details

and I can't get in contact with the friends she was with.

The best I can piece together was that she had told her best friend about what was happening

and that friend started telling her all about how I was just trying to kick her out and

steal her kids.

She then moved in with her friend and went on a week-long bender of clubbing and drinking

in drugs.

When we were younger we did our fair share of stupid shit together so while this was surprising,

it was most likely her dumb ass friends convincing her to relive the good old days.

I hadn't heard anything for about a week then I got a text from her friend telling me

I was a loser that my wife was too good for me and that she was fucking a younger guy.

I tried to demand she'd give my wife the phone so I could talk with her but I never got

a reply.

I screen-shotted the text for evidence if I needed it.

I ended up getting a call from the hospital at like 3 in the morning that Sunday.

My wife had overdosed on something and was dropped off at the ER by someone who didn't

stick around.

Since I was her emergency contact they reached out to me.

I called my mom to come watch the kids and headed over there.

They managed to get her stabilized and were treating her.

I stuck around for a few hours and she was in and out of consciousness and when she was

she wasn't very talkative.

When she properly woke up she started apologizing for everything and that's when I found out

the few details I know about her friend in the bender.

I asked her if she had been fucking someone else like her friend said and she didn't reply

which was as much of an answer as I needed.

She kept trying to apologize and I just kept my cool and told her this wasn't the time

or place for this.

We ended up leaving at about 8 a.m. the next day.

I got her back to my parents' place, got her into bed and just before I left I put the

papers on the table beside the bed and told her that I expected her to sign them within

a week and that I had proof she cheated on me during her bender.

I had told my parents I was planning on doing this on the phone so I wasn't just dumping

this drama on them without warning.

The kids are both doing fine.

They don't know anything of what happened with their mother or the divorce.

All they know is that my wife is still moved out and that she's busy getting better

so we're not going to be seeing her as much.

I'll probably tell them in a couple weeks whenever school lets out for the summer so it

doesn't affect their learning.

Over the next couple weeks I've gotten countless calls from her, ranging from begging for

a second chance to screaming at me that she hated me and was going to make my life hell,

bringing back and forth every other day.

I've also been getting vitriolic texts from her family and friends calling my all sorts

of names and threatening me that if I don't drop the divorce I'll regret it, all of which

have been screen-shotted.

My parents agree that divorce is for the best, but they're questioning my timing and wondering

if I shouldn't have picked a better time to do this than when she was fresh out of the

hospital.

I'm 100% sure I want her out of my life and I plan on going for full custody of my children

as I don't want them around my wife if this behavior is what she's willing to stoop to.

And while I do want it done as soon as possible, I'm wondering if I should take back the papers

and tell her I've changed my mind, at least until she's a bit more stable.

Next story, sister got my dad a DNA test for Christmas and now we found his birth parents

after 56 years while learning about their incredible love story.

My dad, M56, was adopted at birth.

He was raised in Eastern Canada and never really searched for his birth parents.

The people who raised him are his parents to him and he loves them very much.

They have always been amazing grandparents to my sister, F19, and I, M22.

All he had from his birth parents was a letter which told him he was born out of love,

but they could not support him when he was born.

So when my sister decided to get him a genetic test for Christmas, it was purely with the

intention to find out what ethnicity we all are and the thought of finding his birth parents

didn't even cross our minds.

Eventually, when we got his results, we were surprised to find the names of two people

with perfect genetic matches to my dad.

He had the option to reach out to them so he wrote them each an email and just waited

for their responses.

Almost immediately, his biological dad, who I'll call Jim, not his real name, responded.

He said how excited and happy he was to have found my dad and how he was looking for him

for so long.

My dad, who is usually an emotionally reserved man, was curled up on the couch grinning

as he was texting Jim for the first time.

I was still in shock from the news, but was so happy to see my dad even happier than when

I graduated uni.

Soon thereafter, he also received a message from his biological mom, Debbie, not her real name.

By talking to them both, my dad learned the story of his birth and I think that it's

absolutely wild.

Debbie is the daughter of an Australian mining engineer and they all moved to Canada for

his work when she was in high school.

Later on, they moved to the Midwest where she met Jim at the age of 17.

They were high school sweethearts and were thinking of marriage after they graduated,

but then Debbie got pregnant.

This being the 60s, this was a huge deal.

Her dad was furious and sent her back to Canada to give birth and arranged a private

adoption as he knew of a couple who were trying to have a kid, my grandparents.

Once she gave birth, she was able to let Jim know that she was being sent back to Australia.

They never saw each again for the next 40 years.

Jim apparently was only able to move on once he received a letter over five years later

from Debbie, saying that she got married.

Eventually, he got married too and they moved to the West Coast, but his wife got into

a terrible car crash and lost the use of both legs and one arm so they were never able

to have kids.

Debbie had three daughters in Australia, the oldest of which is seven years younger than

my dad.

They saw each other for the first time around 12 years ago as they reconnected on Facebook

and Debbie happened to be taking a trip to the West Coast of America.

Jim and Debbie had always wanted to keep my dad and so they tried for decades to find

him.

But my province apparently is one of the hardest places in the world to find adoption

information, especially since my dad only received his birth certificate at his baptism

so their names were not on it.

Jim had essentially given up trying to find my dad until genetic tests became popular.

He asked Debbie to take every single one and he did the same, about five years ago, in

the hopes that one day my dad would take one.

When he received my dad's message, he immediately wrote to Debbie, I found him.

Since then, we have had several calls with Jim and his wife and they are absolutely lovely.

We are their only family since they don't have kids and I couldn't be happier.

At the end of the month, we'll be flying to the West Coast to meet them.

It has been harder to talk to Debbie as Australia is so many hours ahead of us, but she also

is so kind and an absolute joy to talk to.

I haven't met my three new aunts yet, but apparently one lives in London.

It's crazy to think that I might have been within a few kilometers of her the few times

I've visited.

I also have five new younger cousins.

A couple of them are huge fans of Japanese culture, so they're ecstatic to hear that they

have half Japanese cousins.

My mum is Japanese Canadian, so my sister and I are both half.

We hope to visit them one day in Australia, but we might all meet up in Japan next year.

I don't know how to end this, I am still processing everything.

It's absolutely incredible to have my family grow so much, but also a little overwhelming.

I'm so happy for my dad, for Jim and for Debbie, and I'm so excited to get to know them better.

I hope I get to meet my new cousins soon too.

I feel so incredibly lucky that this happened, seemingly against all odds.

My dad was initially raised francophone, so it's a miracle that they even speak the same

language.

Anyways, thank you so much for taking the time to read through this, and my apologies

for how long this post ended up being.

I might post an update after I meet Jim and his wife.

I hope you all have a wonderful day.

First of all, thank you so much to everyone who left such kind and heartfelt comments

on my first post.

It's incredible of your stories.

To those who were concerned that we would abandon my grandparents that I grew up with,

that is most definitely not the case.

They were the people I grew up with and I absolutely love them to bits, although only

my grandmother is still with us.

All the incredible times I've had with her growing up are so much more important than

blood and I can't comprehend the stories I read where people forget about their adoptive

parents or grandparents when they find their biological ones.

I won't recap my previous post here because I'm lazy-ha.

So, we just got back from visiting Jim and his wife, who I'll call Mary, not her real

name, on the west coast and it was one of the best experiences of my life.

We spent a week in their city and got to experience so much with them.

Our first time meeting them in person was very emotional and felt very surreal.

We spent the whole day looking through my dads and our old photos, basically catching

Jim up on everything that he has missed over the past 56 years.

We also got to see so many of his and Mary's old photos too, which was very cool.

We went to a park near their house and on the walk, I heard Jim whisper my son with

a massive smile across his face.

Throughout the week, we explored their city and saw so many cool sights and tried so much

delicious food.

Mary knows her city so well and it was great to see her favorite spots all around the

city from food carts to gardens to museums.

We all went to an incredible Japanese American museum and Jim and Mary absolutely loved

it.

They were very keen to learn about the internment during World War II and said that they

knew a bit about it before, but now it feels so personal.

We went on two hikes with Jim, Mary wasn't able to come because she is in a wheelchair.

It's so cool to have such an active and outdoorser grandfather who is able to go on such

long hikes.

He taught us some foraging tips and told us stories from when he used to camp for years

on end.

Both he and Mary are very spiritual, so he also told us great stories from meditation retreats

they've done.

He's even tried psychedelics, so he's definitely the cool grandpa.

I won't go into precise details of places we went, but it was great exploring such a

cool part of the world with amazing people.

We were all very sad when the trip was over and we had to leave.

I've gained two new grandparents on the west coast and I couldn't be happier.

And they said that they've gained two grandchildren, I'm so glad that they see us as such.

Mary told me her greatest regret in life was not being able to have children in grandchildren,

but now she does.

This has been such a transformative time in our lives and I think it's incredible just

how many people are so much happier now because my sister just happened to get my dad

a DNA test.

This is just the beginning of our relationship with our new grandparents and I am so excited.

Now we have to figure out a way to go to Australia to meet Debbie, whenever that happens, maybe

I'll make another update.

Until then, I hope you all have a lovely day and thank you so much for taking the time

to read our story.