*TEASER* Baptist Oreos, Anglican Biscotti

0:00What's the Oreo tag line? I don't know it. I forget. I would say it in response, but it's not memorable. Something about dunking that they were really into dunking for a while. They're really into dunking for a while. Remember Oreo? They're really into dunking for a little like that. I'm not looking. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Oreo cookies are the Baptists of the cookies. That's freaking funny. That's freaking funny. That's really funny. I don't know how much diversity. I don't agree with that. I tell you why I don't agree with that. If you put an Oreo fully submerged, it falls apart. You got to sprinkle that thing. I don't know. I don't think anyone's ever sprinkled an Oreo. I'm just saying if you fully submerged in Oreo, it's Doomsday. That thing is gone. You can't put it all the way under.

1:03So what? Who does a half full immersion? Where's the half dunk in this economy, Brian? Full immersion. Maybe in the 1980s, you could full dunk an Oreo, but not not in that. That's true. That's true. You know, I think you're right about that. Certainly not the gluten-free ones. Those ones. That's insane. That's crazy talk. That's the, I've never had the Trader Joe's knock off before. Of Oreos? Yeah. What do they call it? What is that Trader O's? Chocolate sandwich. Of the Trader O's? That sounds right. Something knows. It might not be Trader O's, but yeah, they're gluten-free, which is pretty cool. They're pretty good for gluten-free cookie. All right, moving past gluten-free. But no, no, that's good. I mean, that's the only source of joy left for you. I can feel like I eat something you have something to talk about. And it's in the snack cookie aisle. Well, Trader Joe's famously our friend Tony Turelli always said it's just a junk food store.

2:07Like he's been saying it for years and he's right. There is this time of year is the guilty pleasure that happens at Target. We're back at the target parking lot. Yeah, I know, right? Which I do actually, there is something I do want to talk about on that front because I think we're just in the, this is the crab bag portion. I don't even know what we're talking about. I can go. I got lots more to talk about. Let's keep going. There is a, I want to, it's like, I'm trying to figure out what the name of this is. It is, it's a, like, it only comes out around Easter. And it's a, like checks mix and pretzel, like white chocolate covered, like trail mix plus

3:08just the marshmallows from, like, Lucky Charms. And it's disgusting. It's, well, you say all you want, Mr. gluten free. This is perfect for you. It's gluten free. Oh, I believe it is. I'll try it. I want, I want to say it's did you just link it? Oh, yeah. What's the name of it? Easter bunny snack mix. That's it. That's the stuff. This is net. This looks amazing. It is unbelievable. This will destroy any diet. Any diet that anyone is on, it is over. Does this say gluten free on it? I don't think this is gluten free. Yeah, literally pretzels enriched wheat flour. Oh, but why are pretzels just gluten? Oh, yeah, there's no, yeah, pretzels have to be gluten free. You have to buy the gluten free pretzel, right? Yeah. Yeah. Can you just sort out the pretzels? That's actually a pretty big loss. Apparently, my kids are obsessed with dots,

4:15pretzels. I'm missing out. Dude, pretzels, gluten free pretzels, you might as well just be eating a rock. They are so crunchy. That's true for a lot of, a lot of gluten free stuff. Let me tell you about the Easter bunny snack mix. All right. Tell me about the snack mix. This is this, if you had to draw a graph of enjoyment for the Easter bunny snack mix. In minute one, it is an exponential line to infinity. In minute two, it crashes below the zero line to, I hate myself. Why did I keep eating this? In minute three, you're in like, I've crossed into, I'm, you know, I'm in insulin, you know, dependent zone. Like I'm in diabetic coma. I feel like that's true for the Cadbury mini eggs as well. I don't know about you, but oh my gosh,

5:17like those things, like you eat five and you feel moderately sick after you eat them. They're delicious, absolute delicious, but you can actually maintain that level of feeling no matter how many you eat for a while, for a, for a pretty good long time. So like, you don't feel great, man, they are delicious and they just, you know, you can just keep going. It's a, it's a totally different sort of ride. Sometimes you just gotta, sometimes you just gotta ride the bunny, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, the Easter man. Unreal. Unreal. There is a, all of this came from full immersion. Thank you, Brian. What is the, what is the Anglican of the cookie aisle? That's what I want to know. Well, they sprinkle. So, I guess, I don't know, animal cookies. Animal crackers. Yeah, that feels like a full dunk. You can fully dunk an animal cracker. Yeah, that's true. I feel like we're not in the snack aisle. That's, that's the, the thing like

6:24that's true. We're, we're in like the, let's see. Yeah, what's a, like a biscotti is drizzled. Yeah, yeah, there we go. Yeah, you can't go like a biscotti all the way in. Yeah, there you go. Like, it's logistically impossible to put the hot cross buns. That sounds too exciting. I've met Anglicans. They're not that exciting. Oh, a present company. That is pretty cool. They do love you. You've been listening to a teaser clip from Future Commerce After Dark, a weekly bonus content series exclusively for subscribers of Future Commerce Plus. Get ad free episodes of the podcast and more After Dark content by subscribing to Future Commerce Plus today. That's FutureCommerce.com Slash Plus.