The 2024 Valentine Hotline

In the annual Binchtopia Valentine Hotline, the girlies open up their voicemail box to advise some troubled listeners in matters of the heart. How do I stop being my boyfriend's mommy? Are love languages even real? How do I plan the best boyfriend convention ever? Will you guys come to my wedding? These questions and more are answered. Digressions include a sass dispatch from Redacted and the Tortured Grammy's Department.