The Bible Explained with Jenn Kokal - 1 Peter 3:1-7 - How Wives Submit to God through Marriage

0:00What happens when faith and mental health meet for real? What's up? I'm Grace Graber. Welcome to Breaking Through with Grace Graber, a podcast for honest conversations about anxiety, trauma, healing, hope, and the God who never backs away when life gets heavy. We are going to talk about everything mental health. No pretending, no perfect answers, just real stories, real faith, and a reminder that you're not alone. Get ready. You're going to be absolutely obsessed. Breaking through with Grace Graber, available now, wherever you get your podcasts. Life Audio Hi, Faith Aful listeners. Welcome to the Bible Explained Podcast on this lovely, lovely Thursday morning. Thank you all for being here. We're going to be talking about a very hot button topic. This is one that I think a lot of people don't really care for if I'm being honest because it's talking about the women's role in submission to Christ

1:01in the marriage relationship. In fact, I'm pretty sure women of all time periods have never liked this topic. And honestly, because of the sinful nature, it makes a lot of sense. Part of the curse means that men and women are always going to battle against each other. So women don't like to hear that they need to be in submission. They don't like to hear that their husband is the head of the household. They don't like to hear these things. And honestly, I really understand it because I used to be one of those women myself. So we're going to dive into first Peter 3, 1 through 6. As this advertisement plays, go grab your Bible out of the version that you prefer and also your cup of coffee or cup of tea this morning. And we'll dive right in right after this sponsor, Dad. What if everything you love about your faith got deeper? Richard, more rooted, more alive. L Shadai Ministries exist to take Torah to the nations, restoring the biblical and historical foundations of the connection between Christians and the Jewish roots of Scripture.

2:02Pastor Mark Biltz has taught in 25 nations on five continents. And now he's teaching you. Listen free at 1place.com. Just search L Shadai Ministries at 1place.com. You've been to the bottom. You've wondered if God could ever love someone like you. Melchancy has been there, and he's not done telling the truth about it. No one is too far gone. No past is too broken. No life is beyond the reach of God's love. Full Surrender with Melchancy, a podcast about faith, strength, and surrender, real conversations, biblical truth, and redemption for anyone who has walked through the dark. Because your story is not over. In Jesus specializes in redemption. Full Surrender with Melchancy. New on Spotify, Apple, YouTube, and most major podcast platforms. Follow and subscribe today. And let's go ahead and dive into 1st Peter 3, 1 through 6. As I usually do, I'll be reading from the world English Bible or the W-E-B. But go ahead and grab your favorite version of Scripture, whatever that might be. And let's go ahead and read 1st Peter 3, 1 through 6 together.

3:03In the same way wives, be in subjection to your own husbands. So that even if any don't obey the word, they may be won by the behavior of their wives without a word. Seeing your pure behavior in fear. Let your beauty come not from the outward adorning of braiding of hair and of wearing gold ornaments or of putting on fine clothing. But from the hidden person of the heart, in the incorruptible adornment of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in God's sight. For this is how in the past, the holy women who hoped in God also adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands. So Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose children you now are, if you do well, and are not put in fear by any terror. In the past few days, we've been talking about the topic of submission. And that started in 1st Peter 2 verse 13, where it says, therefore, subject yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake. And then if you jump to verse 17, it says, honor all men, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king.

4:03So we've talked about two forms of submission so far. The first form being that Christians should submit to the king, because God put them in their places. Even if these governments are evil and wicked and doing evil things, we are to submit to them as long as we are not disobeying God's commands. So obviously God comes first, submission to God comes first, then we submit to the government. And we've seen examples of people in the Old Testament who have submitted to rulers in pagan governments, while also not going against God in any way. So for example, you see stories like Daniel and Shadrach, Me, Shack and Abednego and Esther, who we're going through right now on the Old Testament side of stuff. And many other examples as well of people who have submitted to pagan kings while not compromising on their faith. And submission and humility go hand in hand and they are Christian virtues, because Jesus himself showed submission and servitude and humility

5:10when he went to the cross on our behalf. And since Jesus is the ultimate example of these Christian virtues, then us Christians should also learn submission and humility, no matter where God places us in life. So that is why we Christians are to submit, even if we don't like the person who is in charge. And that goes also for servants with their earthly masters. That is what 1st Peter 2 18 through 25 talks about, because the entire population of Rome in Peter's day, 50% of it were slaves. So a huge population of Rome were not free men. So Peter tells them submit to your earthly masters, because as Jesus submitted by going to the cross on our behalf for our souls, servants can play a small part being similar to Jesus by trying to emulate that same behavior with their masters. Because Peter and Paul and the other apostles understood that servants weren't drags the society,

6:11they knew that slaves were created in God's image, that they had no lesser value than the people who owned them, and that those slaves could potentially, through the witness of Jesus, bring their masters and the people who owned them to salvation, to believing in Jesus. Now of course Jesus does the saving, but you guys get what I'm saying. Now in 1st Peter 3, our passage for today, it says in the same way wives be in subjection to your own husbands. So now Peter moves into a different part of submission, submission in the marriage relationship. And he talks both to men and to women here, but he starts with the women first, which by the way is a little bit countercultural for this time period, because usually women either wouldn't be addressed at all, or they would be addressed after the men were addressed. In fact, here's what it says when I researched this. This is from a GROC. It says standard Greco-Roman writings on household management,

7:12typically spoke to the male head of the household, called Peter Familias. They instructed him on how to rule over his wife, children, and slaves. Subordinates were usually discussed in the 3rd person as people under his authority, not addressing directly as moral agents with their own responsibility and choice. And that is from Bibliotacy, is where GROC found that from. Or, oh, I'm sorry, Bible Odyssey, actually. So yes, this was very countercultural, the way that Peter was addressing the women here, and not in the 3rd person, but as unique individual people that he actually says are joint heirs of the grace of life in verse 7, which again, very countercultural because Peter isn't just saying that women have inherent value, but he's also saying that they are co-heirs with their husbands, meaning they own something together with their husbands.

8:13Even though culture in the days of Peter was very messed up, and still is to this day, there's always been a battle between men and women. Peter understands something about women, that the majority of Roman and Greek men did not understand at this time, that women were created in God's image, and they have value, just as when we talked about the slave the other day. The slave has just as much value in the eyes of God as the master does. And I think what makes people so uncomfortable with what Peter is talking about here in the case of submission is that Peter is actually saying that that our personal and physical comfort is actually less important than the spiritual health of another person. It is better to make ourselves uncomfortable physically if that might cause somebody else to become saved. And that is why so many people don't like the book of 1st Peter,

9:13because it's actually telling us to put ourselves underneath another person. And again, this is all spoken to Christians. This is not spoken to non-Christians. And I don't think that Peter was expecting non-Christians to look at his letter and follow things in here. This is talking to Christian women who do not have Christian husbands. But even if a Christian woman does have a Christian husband, this still applies. And I can tell you that before I really started taking the Bible seriously in my marriage, my marriage was so much more unhealthy than it is now. Because there was a lot less respect, I was thinking more about myself than I was about my husband. And I still do sometimes. We still get into fights from time to time because we are both fallen individuals. And the reason we fight is because we want something that the other person is not doing for us or not willing to do or something along those lines.

10:15But if you have two people really working at putting the other person ahead of themselves, that makes for a very good relationship. And that is what Peter in this passage and also Paul in Ephesians chapter 5, were trying to do for women and men in a broken and fallen world. So let's really dig into what Peter says right here. In the same way wives, be in subjection to your own husbands so that even if any don't obey the word, they may be won over by the behavior of their wives without a word, seeing your pure behavior in fear. So there is one caveat with all of this. Women do not need to obey any other man. There is nothing in scripture that says, a woman must obey any man on the planet that tells her to do something, nothing. The only time a woman is commanded to be in submission is with her own husband and with her father.

11:15So Peter makes that very clear. Women don't be in submission to any other man other than your husband. Be in subjection to your own husbands. So that brings us to a couple points. Sometimes women, I'm not calling out any specific woman. In fact, many of you women listening into this podcast may not have ever done this. But there are some women that I have known in the past that do submit to other men above their own husbands. It might be a counselor that they have or a psychologist. It might be a pastor that they respect or another authority that they respect. More than they respect the words of their own husbands. That, I believe, is a sinful thing to do. So if your husband has a problem with something that you're doing, another man says, oh no, it's totally fine what you're doing. In fact, you should be doing this because it's good or whatever. And they can't give you any biblical reason for you to actually go against your husband.

12:17Then you should not listen to that man. You should follow your husband. Now, if your husband is telling you to sin in some way, similar to how you don't compromise on your faith with governments telling you to abandon your faith or something like that, you also don't do the same thing with your husband. The first authority that you should have is God himself. That's why Ephesians chapter 5 verse 22 says, wives be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord. So you put God first in your life and then your husband, of course, comes second. But according to Christian wives, their husbands should have the first say in the things that they choose to do. And other men should not have that say in your life, especially if it goes against something that your husbands told you to do. So we are to be in subject to our own husbands, not to anybody else. So that if any don't obey the word, they may be one over by the behavior of their wives

13:18without a word, seeing your pure behavior in fear. And a lot of critics of the Bible like to add words to Peter here and say, Peter is saying that wives can never talk to their husbands. No, that's not what he says at all. He says your behavior will win your husbands over without you saying a word. You don't even have to say a word to your husband. If you just do something that is biblical and good in front of your husband who does not believe and you do it enough times, for him to see that there is a genuine change in your life, to see that there is something genuinely good that you are following, that might be enough to spur them in fear is what it says right here in verse two, toward Jesus. So let your beauty, verse three, come not from the outward adorning of braiding of hair and of wearing gold ornaments or of putting on fine clothing, but from the hidden person of the heart in the incorruptible adornment of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in God's sight.

14:22So again, people like to twist what Peter was saying here to women and say, women can never wear jewelry. I remember when Wes Huff first got famous from that debate that he did. I forget the guy's name that he debated, but after that guy got off the debate, Wes Huff was left with the host and that host was like challenging Wes Huff on really bizarre things in the Bible. And this was one of them. He kept saying like, well, you know what says in scripture that women aren't allowed to wear jewelry and stuff. And he just like could not get off at that point, even though Wes Huff was on multiple occasions saying, no, that's not exactly what it says and like trying to explain it to the guy, the guy was saying like, no, man, but like it says that women can't wear jewelry and stuff. And I'm just like, I have to stop listening to this interview. This is ridiculous because that's not what Peter is saying here. And I think anybody that's like genuinely reading this for what it is is not seeing Peter say you can never wear jewelry or that it's a sin to wear jewelry because if it's a sin to wear jewelry, then it's also a

15:27sin to be beautiful because it says right here in verse three, let your beauty come not from the outward adorning of braiding of hair and of wearing gold ornaments or of putting on fine clothing, but from the hidden person of the heart. So in other words, it's not a sin to be beautiful. It is not a sin to wear jewelry. I'm wearing one right now. You can hear it dangling. It's my charm bracelet that I wear on occasion. Women can absolutely wear jewelry, but that is not where your value should come from because sometimes, you know, us women, we love pretty things and we love clothing and we love purses and shoes and jewelry and getting our hair and our nails done. We love doing these things as women. This is something that a lot of women tend to live for is how they look, how they appear to other people, but Peter says, don't let your value come from those things. Let it come from something even better than those things by the inward person of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in God's sight. So that is how we become beautiful to God specifically by

16:33having a gentle and quiet spirit. Now, some people might take what Peter is saying there and say, oh, he's trying to tell women to be weak and to shut up and, you know, just get in the kitchen and make their man a sandwich. But no, that is not what Peter is saying here. He's saying that a gentle and quiet spirit is beautiful in the eyes of God because Jesus had a gentle and quiet spirit. It says in Isaiah 53 that he was led away to the slaughter as a lamb is led to the slaughter and does not open up his mouth. Jesus had the most gentle, the most quiet spirit. And that is something that women should emulate, especially Peter knowing, you know, because he had his own wife. That woman like to talk. My husband will get irritated with me sometimes because when he's in his office, I have a little chair in there that I like to go in and sit with and he gets so frustrated with me because he's like, Jen, I swear every 30 seconds when I'm like finally getting into my

17:34work again, you start talking again. And then I have to like break my concentration to answer you. And then you're like, okay, sorry, I won't say anything again. And so I get deep into work in 60 seconds later, you're talking again. And I do. I'm not going to lie. I definitely do that to him. And that is not uncommon for women to do. We like to talk. I have a whole podcast where I'm sitting here in my office alone talking. Women enjoy talking probably more than men do. That is how God made us to be. And I'm not saying that Peter is telling us to shut up. But rather, what are the words we are speaking? Are we prone to bringing people down or to gossip or to negativity or to fear? There's so many verses in Proverbs that talks about a boisterous woman. And how it's actually better for a man to sit in silence in the corner of an attic than in a beautiful house with a boisterous

18:37woman. So basically, somebody that's always snipping, somebody that's always complaining, or that's always negative, or that's always gossiping or slandering, which are sins that women have. So our speech needs to be something better than that is what Peter is getting at. How can our speech as women who love to talk be more towards the gentle and quiet spirit that Jesus emulated the best of all? How can we as women become more like Jesus? And Peter gives an example right here. For this is how in the past, the holy women who hoped in God also adorn themselves being in subjection to their own husbands. So Sarah, obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose children you now are, if you do well, and are not put in fear by any terror. Sarah is the example that Peter gives as a woman who had a gentle and quiet spirit. And you know what's really funny about that? Sarah gets a terrible rap from pastors all over the

19:41world. They look at her as somebody who is argumentative, they look at her as somebody who laughed and didn't trust in God. But yet Peter here is using her as the prime example for women. And Sarah certainly talked. She was not quiet in the Old Testament. But she had the gentle and quiet spirit. Because Sarah remained steadfast in her faith, she trusted in God even when her husband, quite honestly, was really crappy to her. Like Abraham, even though he was the first patriarch and he was considered to be the friend of God, he did not know how to treat his wife. He did not treat her well. He slept with another woman while he was married to her. He actually said that his wife was his sister because she was very beautiful. And he was scared that somebody might try to kill him to get to his wife. So in saying that his wife was his sister, on two separate occasions, people just took her from his house. And he let her go because she was

20:47that beautiful. She actually went to two separate kings homes. And the king thought that she was like the hottest thing ever. And he put her in his harem, took her away from her husband and her husband's like, okay, bye Sarah. See you maybe sometime. That is how Abraham treated his wife. And yet Sarah throughout all of that maintained her faith in God and still showed respect to her husband throughout all of that. She called Abraham her Lord, meaning somebody who is better than her. So she maintained that humility. And she didn't have fear of what her husband was doing because she trusted in God to get her through those things. And God always got her through those things. Even though she was put into a harem on two separate occasions, God got her out of that without the king touching her once. God protected Sarah. And Sarah, I believe, knew that God was on

21:48her side. So Sarah is the ultimate example for us women to follow, even if we have husbands more like Abraham, who don't treat us with the respect we feel that we deserve, who are willing to sacrifice us to protect themselves. As women, we have God on our side. And he doesn't look at us. Any better than he looks at our husband. And he doesn't look at our husband any better than he looks at us. When we become Christians, we are part of God's family. But all of this comes back down to emulating God as best you possibly can in your own marriage. How can you do that? How can you spread the love of Jesus to your husband even more? And as women, this is the answer that Peter gives us by showing respect, by trusting in God, and by having our speech be more in line with

22:49the things that Jesus would say. Now of course, we're not done with this topic. We still have to talk about the other half, the men, and what their role in submission to God looks like in the marriage relationship. So we're going to talk about that on Tuesday. But before I end the episode with my normal happy listening and God bless, please stay tuned for one last sponsored ad. What if everything you love about your faith got deeper, richer, more rooted, more alive? LShDI Ministries exists to take Torah to the nations, restoring the biblical and historical foundations of the connection between Christians and the Jewish roots of Scripture. Pastor Mark Biltz has taught in 25 nations on five continents, and now he's teaching you. Listen free at 1place.com. Just search LShDI Ministries at 1place.com. For a short devotional, we would love to introduce you to the Salvation Army's One Minute Podcast,

23:53Heartbeat. New episodes drop every Tuesday and Thursday. One of the biggest questions we carry as human beings is, what happens next? What will Heaven be like? The Bible gives us incredible promises about eternity. We know that through Jesus, death isn't the end. We know there will be no more pain, no more suffering, and that we will be with God. But it's interesting that the Bible doesn't give us every detail about Heaven, and maybe that's intentional. Maybe God didn't reveal everything because he doesn't want us spending our lives only looking forward to the next one. He wants us to live this one. Jesus said, I have come that they may have life and have it abundantly. We don't have to fear the future because God holds eternity. But we also don't have to miss the beauty of the life he has given us right now. Live fully, love deeply. Trust God with what comes next. For more episodes of Heartbeat, visit SalvationArmyRadio.org. I really appreciate you guys making it to the end of the episode with me. I hope that you guys

24:53have been enjoying First Peter as much as I have been enjoying talking about it with all of you. If you do enjoy the podcast and you would like to become a member and gain access to the Bible explained on Fridays, then check out the link in the description that says Kofi. That will take you right over there because as you guys know, Fridays is for the members. We are going through the Psalms right now. We are going to talk about Psalm 99 and 100 tomorrow. I am excited to finally delve into the triple digits of the Psalms. We have been going through the Psalms for over a year at this point. I want to say it is nearing a year and a half now that we have been in the Psalms. So we only have about another year left of the Psalms because I do one every single week. And there are 50 more left to do. So yeah, at this time next year we should be finished with the Psalms. All right, faithful listeners. Hope you all have a fantastic and wonderful rest of your day. I'll see you guys hopefully on Monday for the regular scheduled episode as we delve into the book of

25:55Esther a little bit further. Faithful listeners, happy listening and God bless. I just want to take a second to thank the team at Life Audio for their partnership with me on the Bible Explained Podcast. In fact, if you go to LifeAudio.com, you will find dozens of other faith-centered podcasts in their network. They've got shows about prayer, Bible study, parenting, and more. No matter what you're going through, you are not alone. Since if you've experienced painting your father-daughter relationship, I want you to know that you are loved and seen. I'm Kia Stevens, host of the Hope for Women with Father Wounds Podcast, and I created my show to help you exchange your father-wounds for the love of God the Father. Join me for encouragement, wisdom, and scripture. Just search Hope for Women with Father Wounds on LifeAudio.com or wherever you get your podcast.