The Big Suey: Getting Drunk On The Man's Clock (feat. A.J. Duhe)

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Welcome to the Big Swee!

Presented by DraftKings.

Why are you listening to this show?

The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast.

I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.

In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.

I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries

that if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys.

I've done it.

And now, here's the marching band to nowhere, that face and the habitual liar.

This episode of the Dan Levitard show is presented by DraftKings.

DraftKings.

The crown is yours.

Mike, what do we got going on tonight, Big Night for the Cyclones?

Yeah, I want to actually inform the audience.

We are back in action tonight.

It's a brand new arena, brand new location, the jam arena at Casino Miami.

It is still free entry.

But if you just walk up expecting to get in free and you want GA tickets,

it'll be $5 up there at the box office.

But you can get free tickets by going to jamarena.com

and using the promo code Friday 5 off.

I believe that's the one, right Chris?

Friday 5 off, when you check out, then it costs you $0.

And you can watch the defending fall champion cyclones take the court today.

Hopefully bounce back.

We're playing Udonas Hazlams team today.

The renegades where it's Manu versus Go Cherry.

That's always a great match.

I'm two of the best players in the world.

Oh, everyone knows that's a big match.

UD usually shows up.

I don't appreciate the sarcastic laugh over there.

Trailing from one Mr. Dave Damishack.

Well, no.

Zazlow's just delightful.

That's all that's all.

Zazlow knows.

Zazlow knows.

Zazlow knows.

As a member of the Dan Levitard show, he is also a part owner.

Yeah, of the cyclones.

So we're taking the court today and first toss is at 7 o'clock.

So if you want a perfect Friday night, you go to highlight,

you'll watch the cyclones do battle, you stroll on out,

and you watch the Miami Hurricanes tip off at 10-10.

It's actually perfect today.

Oh my gosh.

Criminal time for the heat.

I kind of vibe with it on a Friday night, especially because I get to watch my highlight.

Yeah, it'd be a real tricky situation for me if the games were happening at the same exact time.

But I go from cyclones right into Keynes basketball.

It's perfect.

Very good.

A lot of tournament to get to from yesterday, which of course brings us to tonight.

We have a few games that are of interest.

How about tonight at 7.35 p.m. Eastern in the West region?

We have number two Purdue, the big 10 tournament champion.

They are represented by Jonathan Zazlow.

Looks like he says, uh-oh, Spaghetti-O, when he sees someone pulled over.

You see that?

Apparently I do.

Oh, Spaghetti-O.

And they are facing 15-seed Queens represented by.

Nick Wright looks like Adam Driver, if he wore his Kylo Ren helmet for a month straight.

I like that one.

Also tonight, 9.45 p.m. Eastern time Eastern region.

Number four, Kansas, they're represented by.

Mario Christopher looks like he disapproves of his daughter's choice.

Yeah, I think we could all see that.

Yeah.

And they are facing number 13, Cal Baptist being represented by.

Vikings head coach, Kevin O'Connor looks like he fundamentally disagrees with everything you're saying.

So if I asked you, Tony, yesterday, out of all the action that took place in the tournament,

the biggest story after day one was what?

Ooh, I'd probably say the bands are getting bounced.

Was it was a big story?

He was awesome.

He was great.

And that's why I think that that's such a pivotal thing in March where you have these guys that kind of like make their name getting ready for the NBA draft.

That's BYU.

That's BYU, right?

Yeah.

Darius A.C. of Jr. was great.

Arkansas looks like just a steam roller in that conference.

Did you watch Sean Miller's in-game interview when he was asked how do you slow down?

No, I don't believe we can.

Sean Miller is great.

But I think that was a big story.

Trying to think what else?

Oh, the high point game was awesome.

The kid shooting from the logo was insane.

I love that guy.

He actually hit a layup.

Guys, it was all about VCUs.

Come back again.

Sure.

So against North Carolina.

North Carolina had that game done and dusted and VCU just would not quit.

Full court pressure.

Making that happen.

It was a heinous overtime.

It was just truly awful basketball.

No one scored until I think about two minutes left.

But it was dramatic.

I mean, everyone expected that to be a good game.

And then North Carolina was dominating that game.

And now you take a look at Hubert Davis.

I know John Fanta told us Hubert Davis wasn't coaching for his job.

There have been whispers around Chapel Hill.

When you blow a game in that fashion.

Yep.

It is curious to see what's going to happen there.

And we got Kentucky later today.

I'm worried.

This is as the doomsday clock is inching closer to midnight.

Uh oh boy.

Okay.

But if we're talking UNC because we did bring this up yesterday about Hubert Davis

possibly coaching for his job.

I brought it up last night on ESPN radio as well.

Like I think there's something to it.

And like the game was going on while I was on the air last night.

I'm talking about Hubert Davis.

And then they winds up losing.

They blow the 19 point lead.

Jay Lucas being recruited potentially by UNC does.

I mean, look, he's going to take whatever big job he can get.

Does he care at all that it's UNC if they were to come after him?

I mean, UNC Duke, that's what I'm talking about.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't think that that plays into whatsoever.

It doesn't matter.

Look, Jay Lucas, if North Carolina or Kentucky call you, you're going to listen.

Right.

You're, you're just going to listen in that sport.

You have to.

But I, in my heart of hearts, I believe Jay Lucas is building something nice over here.

We already know what the ceiling can be for Miami.

An elite eight followed by a final four.

This can be a special place.

And one year in, Jay Lucas already had one of the best regular seasons ever.

He's a, at 37 years old, a great recruiter.

He's certainly, certainly going to be near the top or at the top of these lists.

But I'm holding it out.

Oh, he's already got a five star commitment coming in next year.

And it's not like just trust me, bro, one in the, in the transfer portal.

He's got proof of concept now.

And he knows that he can develop players.

Look what he's done with guys like Ude and Donaldson.

These, these are guys that have really developed here and to potentially like NBA players.

He's an awesome coach.

And we'll see what happens.

Like it's a trusted process kind of situation.

Like he's building something like you said.

But when the big boys call, you got to listen.

Speaking of the big boys, you mentioned Duke.

I thought that was an interesting game yesterday too.

Sienna gave him all that they could handle.

Yeah.

And Carl Crosbizzer.

The other Boozzer.

No, well, Kaden.

Yes, he played well.

But Kaden plays real well lately.

Did not look great.

A lot of, a lot of fun in the ball.

A lot of turnovers.

A lot of like weird plays where he couldn't get anything.

Oh, buddy, buddy.

He was, I mean, he was just crushing them on the glass.

Sure.

He, he, he asserted as well.

Dave, I, you're a student of the game.

I don't think I can remember an NCAA tournament game

in which a starting fight played the entire game.

Jerry McNamara.

That's right.

That Jerry McNamara is a head coach at Sienna.

He didn't sub out any of his players.

Yeah.

I think the, uh, the Hackman's Huskers maybe attempted that

at the high school level.

But I don't think I've ever seen it in college.

Although I will say Bob Knight had an iron five that he rolled

through and remained in the top five throughout as an Indiana

Hoosiers graduate.

I have to shout that out.

And by the way, you mentioned the Keynes.

I know you're a basketball school more than a football school,

but you really did a great job with that playoff run last year.

Came up a little bit short, but don't hang your heads about that.

I think the thing more globally with college basketball.

We're, we're largely, I don't think we want to acknowledge it

because we all enjoy March madness.

Um, I think you everybody, you're, you, you're just certain

you're, you're just surviving your, you ain't living.

If you ain't in a bar as soon as the show ends and getting drunk

on the man's clock while you're at work,

if you sit in a cubicle all day every day for 365 or something

close to it, if you ain't escaping the office to go and throw

on a good drunk while watching student athletes today,

what are you doing?

This is time to live everybody.

And what's further, it's important, even if we like Cinderella

stories, what makes Cinderella stories is an established bully

will need Duke to survive.

It's bad that you and see lost.

You want Kentucky to win because then you really are just

we're already just rooting for brands at this point.

That's what we're reacting to when everybody fills out their brackets.

All we really know deep down if you're being honest with the man in the mirror.

Very few of us really know much about who these guys are at this point

because NIL and because they're on to the NBA,

if they're worth their salt in terms of basketball.

So I think it all amounts to enjoy your Cinderella stories.

But really, if you want your brackets and otherwise,

if you want college basketball to be relevant,

you want the recognizable team brands to survive into the sweet 16 and beyond.

So I don't think Hubert Davis is going to lose his job.

I think this was his fifth year.

He's had one final four appearance, no national championships.

He's a tremendous recruiter, which is likely what has him keep his job.

He has the outwear Caleb Wilson didn't play.

So I don't think he actually loses his job.

But they blow a 19 point lead yesterday to VCU.

UNC looked horrible light in the game.

And in overtime, here's Hubert Davis post game.

Be Hubert was brutal in his post game session.

Got a little bit tired there.

I did not.

I didn't.

Kuber, why did you go to just a six man rotation in the second half?

Because that was my decision.

Coach, what did you generally?

What do you think went wrong?

What do you mean?

Hubert, the free throws again, as you mentioned,

a little bit of an issue tonight.

Why do you think that was such an issue for your team throughout the season?

That's a great question.

I mean, we work on him.

Hubert Davis did work in media.

I mean, he's asked, what do you think went wrong?

His answer is, what do you mean?

Well, Hubert, you know, it's first game and you're done.

You had a nice two point lead and you're not winning.

You're North Carolina.

That's where the question's coming from.

You didn't make the second round.

I think that's what I mean.

What went wrong?

You were up big and then you lost.

What do you mean?

Come on, it's disingenuous, Hubert.

So then you have Duke who loves UNC losing,

not just because they're huge rivals, but it's like,

okay, that's not the biggest story anymore.

Duke almost losing to Sienna.

Did you see this?

So Duke is down by nine.

I think it wasn't halftime.

They had their trail by 13 early in the second half.

Duke is down by nine at halftime.

And this is this.

This is Duke forward, Malik Brown.

And Tracy Wolfson has him, you know,

for the halftime interview there.

Again, Duke is down by nine to number 16, Sienna.

Here's Malik Brown.

What did Shire tell you in the locker room?

Oh, yeah.

Obviously, we're on playing our basketball.

Just like I said, we thought it was going to be a kick

while going into this game.

So now we know what it is.

And we just want to back the way we usually do.

So Malik Brown, he talks about how they thought it was going

to be a cakewalk.

And Cameron Booser after the game said something similar to,

and I'll tell you, like, they're kind of throwing John Shire

onto the bus there because whether it's true or not,

they make it sound like it's an easy way to say that your coach

didn't prepare you for the game.

Well, it's true or not.

It's the first thing that John Shire said after the game.

When you say we thought it was going to be a cakewalk,

it's so easy to point to the coach.

You didn't have these guys ready.

But he said it.

It was like the first thing he said in his post game interview.

I was shocked by it.

Was that he was like, I didn't have them ready to play.

He outcoached me.

And I'm just proud of our guys for coming out with the mentality

in the second half that they could win this game because I got out

coached and I didn't have them ready.

Well, we could tell early because they were sleepwalking

through the first half or you were like, wait a second,

Duke's going to turn it on at some point, right?

They have this great player in came Booser,

all of a sudden it's like, uh, they're down nine,

they're down 11, they're down 13.

Where's this team?

This is not the team that we thought was the number one seed.

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Dan lebertard.

I've never stepped foot on that campus.

If you told me right now, your life depends on it.

Go to Santa Fe University.

And just take a picture.

Stugats.

I would die.

I don't know where it is.

This is the Dan lebertard show with a stugats.

Also, what is a cake walk?

I was wondering.

Oh, it's actually kind of racist.

Yeah.

Yeah, we've done this before.

Oh, good.

Then we continue to use it.

I think it's one of those deals where it's survive in advance.

Like, I don't look at it and say, oh, we'll do it.

This is not a bigger issue for you for Duke.

See, I take the perspective of better you didn't take your opponent serious

against the 16.

Yeah.

Then get to the sweet 16.

And you're not taking your opponent serious.

Because that team could be like an eight or a nine seed.

And if you don't take them serious, you're going to end up losing.

Like, I don't think Duke is going to have another game this tournament.

They play TCU next.

Or they didn't take their opponent serious.

They did that.

And they were down 13 in the second half.

Jeremy's face looks like he just discovered he's been uttering a

eight.

Yeah.

I'm not going to say cakewalk anymore.

You just did.

I did.

Why is it the right time?

Well, but for what it's this is educational because like, look, it's like

it's like saying master bedroom these days.

Like, you should probably correct that.

And I will say in this case, it does seem as though the cakewalk was a bit

of a form of protest.

Because according to the AI overview, which we know is always right,

the cakewalk originated in the late 19th century as a dance created by enslaved

African Americans on Southern plantations.

That's where I first went, ooh, but it said it was designed to satirize the

elegant manners and formal dances of white plantation owners.

So in a sense, this is maybe not as bad as we originally thought.

You still want to say it, huh?

Yeah.

Come on, man.

I mean, I'm going to say why you want to say so bad.

Whisper it, Tasha.

And in your defense, Dave got to start it on this.

Don't you put this on me?

There was you.

You said you asked for it.

I made a mistake.

I wasn't aware.

What the mistake Zazlow seems to be making here is like, eternally, don't you know

that a heavily favored team doesn't take the it's foe seriously?

I think it's interesting that a student athlete says that into a microphone,

but that's the the eternal battle, isn't it?

That how do we get right for a game where we know that if we show up for it,

we obviously are going to smoke this team.

But how do we get up for a team that we know that we're way better than?

I mean, I guess it's an interesting inflection point.

Yeah.

And obviously that attitude is very prevalent during a regular season game.

All right.

But when you're in the NCAA tournament, that game yesterday is it's literally

Sienna's championship.

Like Sienna's not going into the tournament saying, maybe we're going to make a run.

We go win this thing.

Like no, Sienna is trying to beat Duke in the first round of the tournament.

And if they do, it's an all time moment for the school.

It's it is their championship.

And that's why like you can't just say it's going to be a cake walk.

I said it for you.

Yeah.

But you have a big ego as a, you know, power five college basketball player

and all of that.

So you can't really, if you try to deny your confidence,

that obviously we're better than this team is we should kill Sienna.

It is a weird sort of paradox that as a team, you have to overcome, right?

Like obviously if we show up, we're going to kill this team.

But let's not be overconfident about it, right?

I mean, obviously that's what these coaches talk about forever.

But Dave, that's like the rolling out the ball theory.

Like we roll out the ball in the court.

We're better than them, no matter what.

We don't really need a coach.

That's kind of the ethos behind it.

But then you have somebody on the other side that is playing for their championship

and playing for their, their eternal loss.

A lot of these guys are probably never going to sniff professional basketball

outside of what they're playing at this moment.

And it's like, all right, we're going to try to give everything we have

to a team that has some flaws in Duke, right?

Like I didn't love the way Cambuser played, right?

He's supposed to be a top three, top five pick.

And I was like, I don't love that.

He's not super athletic right now.

He's looking kind of slow.

Really?

I mean, the commentator said that.

You came back, you came out of that game thinking, Cambuser has it all?

Yeah, I mean, he could have dominated.

Yeah, the commentators were like, this guy dominated this game.

Yeah, he did.

I mean, I'd hope he dominated against 16 Sienna.

I saw him do a lot of mistakes.

I saw him get stuck in a lot of double teams that he should have passed out

of quicker.

Like there was a lot of things where I looked at him.

And I was like, he's not as athletic as I thought he was going to be.

Well, not against Sienna, but the curse is supposed to,

that I talk about all the time, is a legitimate plague.

It's an extra burden on your shoulders.

When you're expected to do it, when you're supposed to win,

that does add a certain gravity to your side of things.

There's only sorrow in losing.

I mean, I've had devastation or an only relief in victory.

There is not like, we did it.

Celebrate rejoice, rah rah.

It's like, whew.

Thank goodness we got by that team that we were way better than.

Did you know yesterday Nebraska, Nebraska be Troy.

It's their first ever tournament victory.

And when Nebraska's win yesterday, they became the last power for conference team

to win a tournament game.

They were the only power for conference school

to never have won an NCAA tournament game.

And they beat Troy.

They took that ass too.

They did take that ass.

So finally here, the other highlight of yesterday

is going to bring us to Stat of the Day,

which Jeremy has for us here.

This is Stat of the Day.

It is the start of the day.

Start of the day.

Start of the day.

It is the start of the day.

Start of the day.

It is the start of the day.

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High points.

Chase Johnston.

Number 99.

Was 64 for 132.

So good.

From three point land going into yesterday,

he was 0 for 4 in two point range going into yesterday.

So good.

Until he hit the game winning layup in the final seconds.

That kind of rimmed in too.

No wonder he hit the game winning layup.

He came inside the three point line.

They don't want to do.

It was unbelievable.

I will say, maybe not a perfect layup.

The grace to be able to on the break

in the final seconds of the game,

lay in a finger roll like that.

When you haven't made a two point shot all year long,

I'd like to track those two point shots,

by the way, of the four that he missed.

Where were they from?

Foot on the line.

I'm telling the whole half.

Was it like close and it was a step in.

Maybe he faked in and stepped in.

I'm going to try to, I'm like a dog with bone on the outside.

His, his, like, he looked like Steph Curry out there,

though, like, he was taking shots that were

ultimate neon green lights.

Super interesting.

Did you see the shot that a guy,

I don't know who, who it was in their team,

took about three dribbles in to half court,

turned around, gave him the ball,

and then he shot it, leaning in from the logo

and drilled it.

They've damaged it.

Excellent.

I love that, that, that, that staff, though,

that same guy somehow made it through an entire season.

How's that even possible to spend that amount of time

on the floor and not fall into an offensive rebound?

On the, on the wrong side of the rim and just throw it at it.

That never happened in 30 something games,

and now it did happen, and that spot wild.

All time, wild stat.

It was a great finish.

High points.

They, they come back.

They win that game.

They send Wisconsin home typical, you know,

it's your typical 12-5 upset.

It seems to happen every season.

And high points advances.

But I don't know if you saw this, Dave.

So high points student broadcast.

They have a play by play guy,

and they have a color analyst, all right?

And they're, they're, they're sitting their court side at the game.

And this video of these two students calling it,

it's, it's high point university student radio.

These two kids calling the final moments,

it's the best thing you're going to see today.

Danerson, Tony, step back.

In circles now, Johnson got to shoot.

Tom!

Johnson!

That's what they did.

Tom out.

Tom out.

Portland.

You believe it?

Cool.

And that's Johnson.

Oh my god.

Johnson.

Oh, transition.

It takes it in bounds.

Nine seconds.

Boy, watch it inside.

Try six seconds.

What?

That boy, they watched their court.

And as they bench it.

Roll on the glass slipper.

It's a Cinderella story.

In Portland, Oregon.

For the first time in program history.

High point breaks through.

We will see you in around the 32.

Oh, what a feeling.

It's, it's a great call.

It's really good too.

Good for him, dude.

Good for him.

Yeah, it's really good.

I mean, obviously like he sounds like a student,

but Dave, it's a great call too.

Yes, kudos to him.

That's the takeaway.

Yes, the fandom and everything else.

Yes, he nailed that call.

It's a big spot.

He came through in it.

You never know how you're going to do in the, in the pressure pack moment

until you're in it.

And that guy is a play by play guy.

Survive.

Nay.

He thrived.

Great job.

What a feeling.

Tonight at 10 p.m.

Eastern time in the East region.

As we continue on with our looks like.

We have number two.

Yukon being represented by.

Adam Silver looks like a newly open chapstick.

That's really good.

They are facing number 15.

Furman represented by.

Adam Silver looks like a torpedo bat.

Oh, that's a really good one.

How's that 15?

I'm going to make a story this time last year.

The torpedo bats.

Like what are these bats?

They're torpedoes.

The cheating.

Yeah, that was the question.

The Yankees.

They're cheating with their torpedo bats.

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Done lebertard!

No one else here is willing to do a Trump or a Biden.

That's not true, Dan.

Okay, Tony, you can cut down a thousand impersonations.

That's not bad, man.

It's not terrible.

Pretty good.

Still gots.

Yours is terrible.

You just got to get a little redder.

Little pinker.

You're right there, man.

Yours is not that you're Biden.

What do you mean?

That's actually not bad.

That's not terrible.

We got to come together.

Little pinker.

Little George Bush in that one.

This is the Dan lebertard show with his two cats.

I don't know if you guys saw this.

And then I want Mike.

I want to get to the canes for tonight in a moment here.

But...

This is heartbreaking to report to you and our audience.

Chuck Norris has passed away.

It was reported yesterday that he was in Hawaii.

He was rushed to the hospital in TMZ.

He has reported that the legendary Chuck Norris...

He was like 90, right?

TV star, movie star.

He was 86, I believe.

And pop culture sensation.

Everyone got swept away with Chuck Norris facts.

He has passed away.

I'm sorry.

Wow.

I didn't mean to laugh there.

Just like awkward silence after that.

Well, I had to fill the...

We see now Jeremy has filled awkward silence.

I don't...

I didn't think that that was the right call.

I'm going to fill it with this.

A random stat that I think is fascinating

is that's what I was just looking up there for the wildest stat.

AJ Dewey, your dolphins legend.

Three career interceptions in the regular season.

Three interceptions in the AFC title game

off the right arm of Dick Todd in the New York Jets

to advance David Woodley and company

to the Super Bowl where they lost ultimately

to John Riggins and that Washington team.

What?

Now that's a wild stat of something that never...

AJ Dewey never intercepts the ball

and then he does it three times in one game.

Sheesh.

Touching words.

I really...

A really poignant tribute, Dave.

A really poignant tribute.

I...

I don't know.

I know what you would judge a guy.

Yeah, you really nailed that.

Come on.

What do you want?

Oh, wait, go ahead, please.

Hey, the floor is yours, right?

You're giving AJ Dewey stat the man's dead.

He's been nice about Chuck Norris.

Yeah, I'm talking about AJ Dewey.

I would have gone Delta Force personally

but Dick Todd, fine.

Yeah.

Okay, you know what?

Tip of the Captain Conan O'Brien

for making Chuck Norris more relevant

with his recurring bit

about Walker, Texas Ranger,

because that was his stare ago.

When I think of Chuck Norris,

I think of Stugots asking this iconic question.

All right.

We're going to see whether these,

here, can crack Chuck Norris's top 10.

Now, your favorite involves the Tyrannosaurus Rex.

You want to do yours?

Yeah, that Chuck Norris

was tracing the Tyrannosaurus Rex.

The Rex was not chasing the Jeep.

Okay, in Jurassic Park.

Wait a second.

I kind of blindsided him.

No, you were thrown.

That's my fault.

What it was.

Wait, wait, deliver that one.

Good to start that way.

And Dan sounds so young.

Whose voice is that?

That is an ancient clip now.

Everyone sounds young.

Chuck Norris is dead.

I can't believe that.

This is one of those guys

that you just thought would live forever.

I mean, 86 years old.

It's kind of...

Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was in the water

in one of those missing

and action pictures that he did.

He did multiples.

He kept going back

across the Pacific

to retrieve his brethren.

And at one time, he's down in the water,

with one of those big machine guns,

the giant kind,

like Jesse Ventura might have.

And he's hidden in the water

then he pops up shooting the gun.

I don't know if that would work in real life,

but it's a pretty cool-looking shot.

That's for sure.

That is a much better

appropriate scene.

That's what you do.

That's what you do.

Well done, dude.

Well done.

Yeah.

My favorite Chuck Norris thing

outside of Walker Texas Ranger

because I loved Walker Texas Ranger.

I used to watch it

with my grandparents when I was a kid.

And then...

And then...

I was a big Conan fan.

And yeah, I love those clips.

But the movie Side Kicks.

Oh, that's what I'm thinking of.

Yeah, not three ninjas.

Nor is it three ninjas kick back.

But Side Kicks with Jonathan Brandis,

which was a movie that was sort of

paying homage to Chuck Norris' entire career,

where Jonathan Brandis

would have these fantastical daydreams

where he was put into Chuck Norris'

greatest movies.

That film was one of my favorites

when I was a little kid.

And this is sad.

This guy was a huge sensation

and even after the prime of his career,

he became more famous than ever

because of the internet.

He was an internet age celebrity.

He became kind of one of the first memes ever.

So is what?

AJ Dewy, number 77.

Oh, yeah.

Weird number for a linebacker.

Let's go ahead.

Is Walker Texas Ranger

like the obvious,

this was his greatest, like,

rolled movie slash TV?

I believe so.

I mean, he had the scene with Bruce Lee.

And he was a huge B-action movie.

I think that's fair.

I don't mean that as an insult,

but lower budget action movie star.

Was it on right before my level?

No, those missing in action movies were big at the time.

Really?

I don't...

Yeah.

Like, the prime of his

silver screen career

was a little before my time

to the point that, like, his big movie

was, like, my entire career is cannon.

But he was...

Yeah, he was an internet celebrity

and an actual celebrity.

Tough as nails, too.

Tough as nails.

Or legit bona fides.

Not, like, those contrived

martial arts stars.

Who are the contrived martial arts stars?

Yes, they're names.

Well, I look...

I'm a little afraid of him.

But we've seen...

We've seen what he's done

when he's sworn by 12 Russians.

Wow.

But the Steven Seagull

a little casual flip there.

Yeah, I don't...

I would have loved to have seen a fight there.

I think Chuck Norris goes over.

So...

I don't know if you guys saw this yesterday.

Everybody fills out brackets, right?

Anyone filled...

Dave, do you fill up one bracket

or multiple brackets?

I think this is going to reveal me.

It's an awful curmudgeon.

I did zero bracket this year.

Zero bracket.

Why is that?

So you don't watch college basketball, huh?

I mean, I watch a little college basketball,

but I feel like a pretentious ass

trying to scratch out some team names

when I really don't know very much

about the players who are wearing those uniforms.

I mean, I...

Yeah, I just did.

I didn't do one.

I don't find it as sad as...

I think it's a great societal event.

Like I say, if you ain't getting drunk

on the man's time today, I mean,

not on the weekend, but on a Friday

in the middle of the day.

And how often are major sporting events

occurring in the middle of the work day?

So take advantage of it.

That said, I just don't find it a great evaluator

of who the best team in the sport is.

I never have even at the height of college basketball.

It's a fun...

It's a super fun tournament to watch.

It's not a great...

It's not a great way to determine who the best.

Sports training perfect measurement.

Yeah, this is what I've been saying.

This isn't especially bad.

And the Rams are better than the Seahawks.

Yeah.

Get out of here, Dave.

That's not what this tournament's about.

It's exactly what you highlighted.

It's leaving for lunch early and never coming back.

No one cares about who the best team is.

Everyone knows.

It's a single elimination tournament.

They're crazy upsets.

And it's the last team standing.

You don't tell me.

I just told you.

There are a lot of comments in my brain.

No, but you did in perfect measurements.

I said, I don't...

I'm not getting in the way of your fun.

I said, go do it.

You are.

Go make your bracket.

Go do 37 brackets for all I give.

Go have a good goddamn time for all I care.

I just didn't do it.

I'm like, let's stand in your way.

I used to be just like you.

I used to be just like you.

I went several years without filling a bracket.

Because I was like, why am I going to fill a bracket out?

In just office camaraderie, I guess.

Because I don't really follow this sport.

But this year, I'm proud of myself.

Because I made a concerted effort to get back into college basketball this season

and educate myself.

I'm winning bets.

My brackets look great.

I'm winning DraftKings DFS contest.

You know what you're talking about?

I know what I'm talking about.

Your brackets are not busted.

I'm like, I still got it.

I can follow sports and form, informed opinions

and cash in because I put the work in.

It's, I'm rejuvenated as a sportsman.

Let's go to Applebee's after and watch a bunch of games.

You got that good bracket?

Or Dolorita's back?

Yeah, I've only, in my main bracket.

In my main bracket because I filled out four.

And the strategy is there's a couple of games like,

this is a coin flip game.

Like tonight, Miami versus Mizzou, coin flip game.

A couple of brackets.

I'll take Miami.

A couple of brackets.

I'll take Mizzou.

And in one bracket, I'll and Miami go into the sweet 16

because if they match up against Purdue,

I like it.

Where are your two favorite Missouri players?

There's this guy.

Mitchell is worried about.

Mitchell, I think.

And the boys.

Yeah, Mitchell.

Now, I got a move.

What a move Dave just wants.

It's such a push-league move from this guy.

Does he even fill out a bracket?

What's the talk about Mizzou?

Absolutely push-league for you.

Yeah, it was a, it was a great move.

And guess what?

See what's called.

Just dispatch.

Exactly right.

You know what?

Because you know what you're talking about.

That's right.

I've left them over.

Mitchell.

Boom.

And I'm only like 75% sure there's a Mitchell on their team

but you're not going to check.

No one's going to call me on their team.

Sounds right.

Boom.

Move on.

Like in my main bracket though, I've only got one game wrong so far.

It was great.

Imagine my surprise when I checked in midway through the BYU Texas game

to see in one of the contests.

I was tied with about 3,000 other people for first place.

Wow.

I got to show you.

There's a Mitchell on the team.

Mark Mitchell.

He's good.

He's good.

Six foot nine guard.

He's good.

Good player.

That's my gimmick.

I got to show you Colin Cowherd's bracket.

All right.

So Colin Cowherd.

What do you say?

He.

All right.

So Colin Cowherd posted his bracket.

And by the way, he filled it out by hand.

All right.

I actually like this.

Yeah.

That's a good one.

He filled it out by hand.

But Colin Cowherd posted his bracket on Twitter.

All right.

And the tweet reads my mostly chalk bracket.

All right.

It's fine.

Whatever.

Talked myself into two Akron wins.

Iowa State is my sleeper.

Let's start there with Iowa State.

Maybe one of the best teams all year.

Two seed.

Tony.

They're a two seed.

I know.

We've been great this season.

Not only are they a two seed, but he has them losing.

According to his bracket, he has them losing in the elite eight to a one seed.

So his sleeper beats every team that they're favored against.

And they lose to the team that they're not favored against.

I mean, I feel like his definition of sleeper a little bit different than mine.

That's one.

All right.

Number two, if you could look, if we could put it back up on our video screen here.

If you look in the region in the top left in the elite eight, he has Duke facing,

excuse me, in the sweet 16, he has Michigan facing Yukon.

Okay.

Find nothing wrong with that, right?

And he has Yukon beating Michigan.

Also nothing wrong with that.

But then if you jump ahead to the final four, he has Michigan State getting an automatic buy.

Past Yukon, even though Yukon beat them in the sweet 16, what are we doing?

Is he doing a thing or I think he's doing a thing.

Colin is really good at rage baiting with some of his takes on the show.

Like Colin kind of like puts work into like what will piss people off and get them going.

Damn, we fell for it.

What a pizzazzan.

And he's got this AI Colin thing on that Fox app.

And he's like, man, I should have consulted AI me for my bracket.

This is so strange.

It's so wrong that I think it's an engagement rage bait situation.

Like how could he possibly think that a two seat is a sleeper?

He doesn't.

He can't pause.

He's worked in sports for a very long time.

He's doing a thing.

He's got to be doing a thing.

How can he have Michigan State losing and then advancing to the final four?

Says if he's not doing a thing, he needs to stop doing all the things.

He needs to stop.

He needs to stop doing sports if he's not doing a thing there.

I would love to do what I just did the mic to to cowherd and anybody else who talks

into a microphone on a national level on a local level or otherwise.

Like, hey, why why I was state?

Can you name your who are your two favorite players?

Like, who do you like on that Iowa State team?

The answer would be, I don't care about the individual players.

I'm riding with the coach.

Okay, tell me who the coach of Iowa State is.

This would expose the sports media in a way that nothing else possibly could.

Nobody knows anything about any of these college basketball teams.

Why?

Because college basketball, like I say, is on the steep decline and has been for the last 20 years.

That said, go get drunk at the bar and enjoy watching today.

Two teams.

One cup.

The prime time stage is set for the TGL presented by SoFi finals.

Los Angeles Golf Club versus Tiger's Jupiter links.

Keep up.

It's playoffs.

Tune in Monday, March 23rd, 9 p.m. Eastern on ESPN2 and Tuesday, March 24th, 7 p.m. Eastern on ESPN and on the ESPN app.