The Calm Advantage: Chris Voss on Negotiation, Empathy, and the Psychology of Influence

Chris Voss is a former FBI hostage negotiator, bestselling author of Never Split the Difference, and one of the world’s leading experts on high-stakes communication. In this conversation, Brett and Chris explore what negotiation really is and why most of us misunderstand it entirely.

Before he was teaching executives and founders how to navigate boardrooms, Chris was negotiating with terrorists, kidnappers, and people on the brink of taking their own lives. What he learned in those moments wasn’t about dominance or control. It was about understanding.

They discuss the neuroscience of calm, why your nervous system is always negotiating before your words are, and how empathy, not agreement, not sympathy, becomes the most powerful tool in moments of conflict. Chris breaks down the internal “chatter” that sabotages us in difficult conversations and explains why curiosity is a competitive advantage in leadership, relationships, and business.

This episode moves beyond tactics and into something deeper: how we regulate ourselves under pressure, how we create psychological safety, and why feeling understood can release potent forces for change.

Whether you’re navigating a high-stakes negotiation, leading through tension, or simply trying to communicate more effectively in your personal life, this conversation reframes what influence truly means.