The Commentators' View: ‘Chewing gum’ Andorra & Keystone Cops

John Murray, Ian Dennis & Ali Bruce-Ball talk football, travel & language. They hear from Thomas Tuchel and Dan Burn ahead of England v Andorra. Will John’s losing run in Clash of the Commentators finally come to an end? And the Great Glossary of Football Commentary returns. Get your suggestions in with WhatsApp voicenotes to 08000 289 369 & emails to [email protected]

02:50 Parking problems 06:50 Arsenal ‘understandable’ approach at Anfield? 11:55 5 Live commentaries this international break 12:45 John Stones withdraws through injury 13:25 Thomas Tuchel on John Stones & Marc Guehi 16:00 Tuchel compares Andorra to chewing gum 17:55 Dan Burn on Alexander Isak leaving Newcastle 19:30 Who did it right? Isak or Guehi? 23:50 Are international commentaries the pinnacle? 27:25 Clash of the Commentators 33:50 Great Glossary of Football Commentary

BBC Sounds / 5 Live commentaries: Fri 5 Sep 1930 Chelsea v Man City in the WSL, Sat 6 Sep 1330 Arsenal v London City Lionesses in the WSL, Sat 6 Sep 1700 England v Andorra in World Cup Qualifying, Sun 7 Sep 1200 Liverpool v Everton in the WSL, Tue 9 Sep 1945 Serbia v England in World Cup Qualifying.

Glossary so far: 2-0 is a dangerous score, After you Claude, All-Premier League affair, Aplomb, Bag/box of tricks, Brace, Brandished, Breaking the deadlock, Bundled over the line, Champions elect / champions apparent, Clinical finish, Commentator’s curse, Coupon buster, Cultured/Educated left foot, Denied by the woodwork, Draught excluder, Elimination line, Fellow countryman, Foot race, Formerly of this parish, Fox in the box, Free hit, Goalkeepers’ Union, Goalmouth scramble, Good touch for a big man, Honeymoon Period, In and around, In the shop window, Keeping ball under their spell, Keystone Cops defending, Languishing, Loitering with intent, Marching orders, Nestle in the bottom corner, Numbered derbies, Nutmeg, Opposite number, Park the bus, PK for penalty-kick, Postage stamp, Put it in the mixer, Put their laces through it, Rasping shot, Red wine not white wine, Relegation six-pointer, Rooted at the bottom, Route One, Roy of the Rovers stuff, Sending the goalkeeper the wrong way, Shooting boots, Sleeping giants, Slide rule pass, Small matter of, Spiders web, Stayed hit, Steepling, Stinging the palms, Stonewall penalty, Straight off the training ground, Stramash, Team that likes to play football, Throw their cap on it, Thruppenny bit head / 50p head, Towering header, Two good feet, Turning into a basketball match, Turning into a cricket score, Usher/Shepherd the ball out of play, Walking a disciplinary tightrope, Wand of a left foot, We’ve got a cup tie on our hands, Where the kookaburra sleeps, Where the owl sleeps, Winger in their pocket, Wrap foot around it, Your De Bruynes, your Gundogans etc.