The Falcon - The Case Of The Happy Hoodlum

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Hello. Yes, this is the fault I'm speaking. Oh, comey. I'm glad you called.

You'll have to come the out tonight angel. I'm all jammed up.

And some boy I know is thinking of taking up murder for a career.

Okay, he figures with all the money involved. The least he can do is make a stab at it.

This is in early he friends inviting you on behalf of the craft food company to listen to the

adventures of the Balkan. Towing less tamer. You met the Balkan first in his best telling novels.

Then you saw him in his thrilling motion picture series. Now join him on the air when the Balkan

saw the case of the happy hoodlum. Friends before we join the Balkan for his latest adventure,

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delicious craft cheese spread. And now the case of the happy hoodlum.

It's late afternoon in New York and a tall thin man with a dirty trench coat walks up the steps

of the review building. His name is Marty Kramer. Mr. Kramer is embarked on a mission where the

chances are a million to one against him. Apparently that doesn't bother him. He smiles if he takes

the elevator down to the basement, but the reverexpress company has his headquarters. Then still smiling,

he marches down the hall toward the door, marked employ his only and barges right in.

Hey, it's a second there mister. Yeah. You don't work here? Do you? Yes. Good and maybe

it can help me out. What do they keep the dough around here? Well, were you crazy? Don't tell me

the stories I heard about this place. I'm true. I saw a piece in the Sunday paper that said you

always have two or three million on tape. Now look, mister. You look for him because I got a little more

than you have. That's right. It's a gun. And if you don't want a practical demonstration about how

it works, you better take me to where they keep the dough. Okay. You're the doctor. Wait a minute.

What do you think you're going? You said you wanted to go into the bollion room, didn't you? That's right.

Well, I've got to get my pass. They won't, I mean, without it. Where is it? Isn't that drawer?

Okay. Open it slowly. And don't put your hand in there until I can see what you're doing.

Hold it. What's that? Oh, that? Why, that's the signal for one of the drivers that a bank wants

him for a pickup. You wouldn't try to kid me. Would you friend? So help me to the truth.

All right, where's your pass? Right here. Now, which way do we go? I don't know. Okay, let's move.

Say, uh, tell me something, mister. Yeah, I'm that piece you read in the paper. What about it?

Did it tell you how many armed guards we have in the joint? 68, wasn't it? That's right.

And you expect to pick up an odd million and walk out without anyone bothering you. I'm doing it,

and I haven't got the million yet. Just give me time, pal. Where do we go now? I'm in here. That's

where they get the shipments ready for the trucks. Okay, open the door. I don't forget I'm right behind

you. And I'm right behind you, mister. Well, just drop the gun, pal. You got him, Paul? Yeah, I

got him. All right, Bonnie. Chris came right. You don't have to do that. I'm clean. I know, but we

don't believe in taking chances. I can see that. The drawer you opened was connected with an alarm,

wasn't it? That's right. Real cute. What's your name, mister? Marty Kramer. You escaped from

some lunatic asylum. You didn't think for a minute you'd walk in here and heist this place?

Well, I guess I was over optimistic, hmm? You're over something. Now, look, Kramer,

what do you got up your sleeve? Not a thing. Ask your friend. He just frisked. Don't be a wise guy.

You're on a spot. So it would seem, wouldn't it? I don't get your angle. Angle? Yeah. You darn

well. You didn't have a prayer of getting away with this, chef. How much did you do it?

As long as you put it on that basis, I'll tell you. Well, yeah. I, uh, I just wanted to prove to the

kiddies that crime doesn't pay.

Yeah? Oh, hello, Mike. Sergeant Corbett. You're going to invite me in. I don't know why I should.

Come on. Let me take your coat. Now, thanks. I can't stay long. How about a little

in what time is it? Five to six. Sure, you're not five minutes long. Come to think of it, I am.

Good, then I'm off duty. I'll have a short one. Well, it's on your mind, Sergeant.

It's funny you should ask that. Why? If there is something on my mind,

you read about that boy named Marty Kramer. We had to try to hoist the reveal express company yesterday.

Yeah. How do you figure it? Simple. He's crazy. No, he isn't. He's the same as you are if that means anything.

Well, he certainly couldn't have believed he stood a chance of walking over the loot.

No, he wanted to get caught. Why? That's what bothers me. I can't make it out. Can you, Sergeant, what are you getting at?

Like you to look in on Kramer, are you out of your mind? I guess I am. You know, if you do this,

it won't be a dime a minute for you. You must think I'm as crazy as you are. I do. What do you say, Mike?

Well, if everybody's going to act nuts, I might as well get into the act, too.

Okay, I'll do it.

All right, Kramer. Mike Warrings here. Mike Warrings? Yeah. Yeah, 10 minutes, Mike. Thanks, Mike.

Wait a minute, what's the... Who sent for you?

Sergeant Corbert asked me to look in on you. My name is Mike Warrings. You the bird they call the falcon?

What do you want with me?

Sergeant Corbert feels there's a lot more to your case than meets the eye.

I'm inclined to agree with him. You're wrong. I tried to pull a jump and I was caught.

That's all there is to it. Uh-uh. There are too many things it leaves unexplained. Such as...

Such as your background. Your name isn't really Marty Kramer. No, and what is it?

I don't know. All I could find out is that you came to New York six weeks ago.

Where from? Nobody seems to know. Maybe I'm ashamed of my past. I don't see why.

Do you have no criminal record that the police can discover? This was your first event.

Always the first time for everything. Uh-uh. Well, it goes deeper than that Kramer.

You weren't hard pressed the cash either. How do you know?

I went through your room, found this bankbook there. We'll give you a license to go through my stuff.

Police? The 7,000 bucks in that account. Well, maybe that wasn't enough for me.

Well, you certainly couldn't hope to pick up more at the Rivera Express Company and fellow can try.

Yeah, I know, but you didn't have your heart in it. The DA showed me the gun that took away from me up there.

Yeah, yeah. That thing couldn't hurt a fly. The firing pin was fired all the way down.

You're out of your mind, Falcon. Uh, don't tell me that. I saw the gun.

Well, the pin was shot. I didn't know about it. You don't think I'd do anything as silly as that.

I think you're doing something a lot silly, eh?

Now look, Kramer. You better start talking. Unless you level with me, they're really going to pop it till you.

Why don't you mind your own business? Can I help it if I'm nosy? Well, maybe this'll kill you.

Mike, what's going on in there? Nothing. I'm all right, Mack.

What's the idea, Kramer? I'm just settling accounts with my friend here.

That was the down payment wearing. If you insist on working for me in the future, you can expect a lot more.

President Barack Obama. Virginia, we are counting on you. Republicans want to steal enough seats in

Congress to raid the next election and wield unchecked power for two more years, but you can stop them

by voting yes by April 21st. Help put our elections back on a level playing field and let voters

decide not politicians. Vote yes by April 21st. Paid for by Virginians for fair elections.

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Now back to the adventures of the polka. A week has passed since Mike wearing had his little

talk with Marty Kramer. Apparently it didn't do any good. For the next day Kramer pleaded guilty

to arm robbery and were sentenced to sing singing. Now as we find him he's making his grand entrance.

Come on Kramer. Hey Bailey. Bailey, uh, wake up you got company.

I want you to meet your new roommate. Name is Marty Kramer. Oh, oh, I appell.

If there's anything you want Mr. Kramer, just ring. We have 24 hour service here.

Well, thanks a lot, McGraw, but I wouldn't think of disturbing you boys.

Well, make yourself a long Kramer. Thanks. My name is Bailey. Yeah, I know. I heard a lot

about you. I've heard a couple of things about you too. Have you? Yeah, fellow was telling me in the

yard today that the Balkan was working for you. I've come, we couldn't get you off. Maybe I didn't want

him too, Bailey. Well, I don't dig your pal. Maybe I wanted to spend some time up here. Why would anybody

in his right mind want to do that? It's a long story. That's okay. I got 10 years more to save.

Yeah. What? Yeah. You saw it, thanks. And much. You see, um, there's a guy up here that I wanted

to see. Well, you certainly took the hard way, Kramer. Well, five years ago this guy was partners with

my old man. My old man was a schnook. He trusted everybody. That was his mistake. One night

his partner cleaned him out and then put a match to the place. When the insurance dicks came over to

investigate this guy took a powder and my father was left holding the bag. I don't know what happened.

And he couldn't stand at the scrape so he blew his brains out. Tough. Yeah. Anyway, I promised myself

that I'd make it up to the old boy. I've been looking for his partner ever since. You find him?

Yep. Through a private eye. A fork? No, another guy. He told me my party was serving time and

syncing. That's why I arranged to visit him, which is his party's name, Daily. Huh?

Oh, no, isn't that a coincidence. Just the same as yours.

Well, you're from, Billy. They're the Los Angeles. Well, that's funny.

So was this guy I was telling you about... Cut it out, Kramer. You don't remember me, dear friends.

No. Of course, I didn't call myself Kramer in those days. I look you. Stay away from me.

Hey, Mike. What's wrong? You're going to get it, Daily. I've waited five long years for this.

What's wrong with me? You're very good. We were right after our life.

Now you're good. Let me go. Come on. Bring it up. Get it out to break in my arm.

Then behave. You okay, baby? Yeah. Wait, think so.

Maybe along with them for one minute. One minute. That's all I ask.

What you're asking for is a stiff dose of solitaire. All right, Kramer. Let's go.

Oh, go away.

She's nobody here. Oh, no.

Yeah. Thank you, Mike. Who the devil is this?

Oh, that's no way to talk to an old friend. This wouldn't be Sergeant Corbett, would it?

Why not? You realize it's three o'clock in the morning?

It's slow. I got a quarter after. Look, if your purpose is to annoy me, you're succeeding very well.

Got a little news item. I thought you might be interested in.

Remember our friend, Marty Kramer? Yes, sure. What about him?

He's got word from Sing Sing. He tried to kill a cellmate, boy named Bailey.

So that's why he wanted to go to jail. What do you mean?

Obviously, this whole idea was a plot on the part of Kramer to get his hands on Bailey.

Maybe I kind of doubt it, though. I got a hunch we haven't heard the last of our friend, Mr. Kramer.

Don't ask me why. I just got a hunch.

Do you imagine how I felt, Logan?

A couple of seconds more than it would have been all over.

Instead, the guard had to break it up. How long to keep you in solitary, Kramer?

A week. Was it bad?

It would be worth it if I get my hands on Bailey again.

Forget it. There's not a chance. That's why it transferred you in here with me.

I'll work at somehow. Won't you go against Bailey anyway?

I'll never mind.

Okay, man. I won't give you away.

But something did to my old man five years ago.

Wait a minute.

It's a matter.

You've got the wrong guy.

Oh, no, I haven't.

When did you say this happened?

Five years ago in L.A.

Well, that proves it.

Bailey's been in here since 1940.

What are you trying to give me?

What's the truth, Kramer?

Someone give you a bum steer.

They sent the same Bailey.

You're lying.

Okay, don't believe me, but I saw this record myself.

I used to help run the warden's office when I first came in 45.

That's true. I did all this for nothing.

You had to be glad you didn't kill him.

I got to get out of here, Logan.

You kidding?

I tend to stand this was all a mistake.

That's tough, pal. But can't be helped.

Let me out.

Let me out.

I'm down there.

Bailey, make your wife another session in solitary.

I got a speak to the warden.

Okay, I'll make you no point.

Got it out, Kramer.

Won't do you no good.

I got to get out of here, Logan.

Sure, sure.

I can't do it any other way.

I'm going to make a break.

Help me a chunk.

I tell you I can do it.

Are you with me?

I'm not enough to hear yourself talk.

No, I tell you I can do it.

No.

Is there anyone outside you can count on to help?

No, are you married?

No.

I got a girl in Jersey.

How about her?

How do you think I got in here in the first place?

No, she's screaming on you.

That's what a couple of people would like me to believe.

She's running the biggest gambling joint in town

till Martha got friendly with Philip Hernandez.

Philip Hernandez, why don't my competitors?

He and Martha got off her chummy.

That doesn't mean she sold you out.

It does when you add to it the fact that that's how we met originally.

All right, this boy she fingered with some character from Chicago

and he was married to her.

Yeah, more I think of it the more I'd like to ask

with Martha Pierce a couple of questions.

What do you say, Logan?

Do you want him?

What's a deal tonight?

After roll call, one of us will pretend we're sick.

When the guide comes into investigate we'll take care of him.

With what?

With this.

Hey, would you get that, Uncle Ed?

I was in solitary.

I noticed one of the water pipes was loose.

I didn't think anyone would mind if I borrowed it.

Are they bothered to find out it's gone?

Sure.

The next time they throw someone in solitary,

but that may be days.

And we'll use it tonight.

All right, Logan, here he comes.

Start morning here.

Oh, that's a ticket.

They'll keep it up.

Oh, what's the trouble there?

I don't know, Mack.

It comes to the matter with Logan.

Stand back in the door, cleaner.

I'm coming in.

It's a appendicitis.

Logan.

Logan.

Oh, why does it hurt?

Oh, that's all right.

Right here.

All right, better get the dock.

Okay, Kramer now.

What the f-

Hello, Martha.

Philip, what are you doing here?

You hear the news?

What news?

There was a flash in the radio at 1030.

Your ex-boyfriend is broke out of jail.

Logan?

Yes, he and a man named Marty Kramer.

Well, what do you know?

I know we better do something.

Don't tell me you're frightened, Philip.

Well, he's no point in taking chances.

You know the kind of guy Logan is?

Suppose you leave Mr. Logan to me.

But maybe he'd think I made you a squillunk him.

Well, didn't you?

No, we saw your idea, Martha.

Remember, I didn't want you to do it.

Aren't you the brave boy?

Well, it's your fault.

I was satisfied with the way things were.

But no, you had big ideas.

This is the first time I heard you complain.

Well, I didn't know.

You don't know a lot of things.

Now listen, Phil.

If Logan knew about us, we would have heard from him before this.

Would maybe somebody tell him now.

Then all he's got is a spician.

And I can talk him out of jail.

And I can talk him out of him.

I've done it before.

You think he has seen New York already?

Well, he is.

He must be with his friend, Kramer.

You've got any idea where they can be?

Maybe.

Where?

Never mind.

But you don't know.

Can't hurt you.

Tell me, where's Martha?

Let's go, Philip.

You're hurting me.

I'll at least treat you.

Oh, you.

You're going to regret that, Mr. Hernandez.

I'm sorry, Martha.

I didn't mean it.

He's just a warrior but Logan, so.

You shouldn't, Phil.

I've got a feeling, Mr. Logan, is the least of your worries.

Turn off that light.

Kramer.

Yeah.

This time, Waring, I've got a gun with a perfectly good firing pin.

Now, turn off that light, so I can come out from behind these drapes.

OK.

I'll stay away until I switch on this lamp.

Just as you say.

All right, sit down.

How'd you get in here, Kramer?

Through that fire escape window?

Oh, listen, Waring, I've got to talk to you.

You've got to help me.

You must be out of your mind.

I wouldn't be surprised if you were right.

I was crazy to do what I did.

You mean break out of jail?

No, break in.

What are you raving about?

I wanted them to send me to sing sing because there was a man named Bailey there

that I thought was responsible for my father's suicide.

So that's why you tried it for me to hold up

at the Reveric Express Company, huh?

Yeah.

When I got to the pin, it was the wrong guy.

I realized how ridiculous the whole idea was.

I could have told you that in the first place.

What am I going to do, Mike?

Why'd you crash out?

I told you, I wanted to see you.

You could have sent me a letter.

I was rattled.

I didn't think of it.

Well, you better give yourself up.

No.

Look at your only chance, Kramer.

Fortunately, that guard you slug wasn't badly hurt.

What do you think they'll do to me?

I don't know. Your guess is as good as mine.

But I gamble.

You won't even have to say about your original sentence, providing them.

Providing what?

We take Logan back with us.

No, no.

I won't write on him.

Don't be a fool, Kramer.

Logan's dangerous.

You've got to record as long as you're armed.

I don't be a chump.

At the position to reverse, he'd tell you out in five minutes.

What do you say?

Okay, wearing.

Call a cab. I'll take you to him.

All right, Marty. Where is he?

Next floor.

Whose place is it?

The lungs are Logan. He owns the building.

Oh, it's pretty convenient.

Does he know you went to see me?

No.

That's why I was going to get some grub.

Hold it.

This is it?

Yeah.

You better let me go in first.

I'll give you the highest sign when it's okay for you to come in.

Right.

Logan?

Logan, I'm back.

Hey, Logan, where's the dip?

Wearing.

Yeah, that's all right. What's the trouble?

Never mind. I see him.

He is moving.

A few people do when they're dead.

All right, Kramer. What do you get to say for yourself?

Oh, that's the whole story.

What am I going to do?

Where's your going to get a grip on yourself?

It absolutely no help to me this way.

Come on, help me turn them off.

No, I can't touch him.

You're the man who's going to kill for revenge.

I didn't know they looked like this.

What did you expect?

I'm going to tell you about a scientist.

Say Logan got it around a quarter to ten.

Where were you at that time?

Where'd he be you in your apartment?

Look, Mike, how would this affect my chances on the appeal?

Not a bit of everything you say stands up.

Cops couldn't possibly hang this on you.

They could try.

You better motor them.

No, but there are no butts about it.

Especially if we can deliver the right party to them.

Now, when you left Logan to go to my place,

did he say anything about expecting anyone?

No.

Well, somebody must have known he was here.

Someone who had a key to this dive.

I hope that'd be.

I don't know.

Come on, Kramer.

You must have heard Logan mention some name.

No, I tell you.

You only ever told me when they had a girl in Jersey.

Remember her name?

No, you got to.

You only mentioned her once or twice.

But Pete's sake, man.

Think your life may depend on her.

Wait a minute.

Yeah, yeah, it was Martha.

Martha appears.

Who, her name is girl, who's he?

Big gambler in town.

I think you're right.

Logan told me this Martha named sold him out to one of his competitors.

All right, Kramer.

You stay here.

I'll be back as fast as I can.

This is Ed Hurley here, again, friends.

Sounds like Kramer gave Mike a lead to the killer, doesn't it?

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Now, back to the adventures of the Polkan.

30 minutes have passed since the discovery of the body of George Logan

by Mike Wearing and Marty Kramer.

And now as we find the Polkan, he's knocking at the door of his first lead.

Yeah.

Martha Tizz?

That's funny.

I hope I'm not intruding.

Not at all, honey.

But if you're going to show me your brushes, you might as well come in.

Well, thanks.

I'm afraid I'll lift my sample case at home.

What's your name, Hanson?

Mike Wearing.

I think I've heard that somewhere before.

Could be.

I'm a private detective, this piece.

My friend was called me Martha.

I don't know. Bet you get a thousand of them.

Listen, Mr. Wearing.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll take it back.

You couldn't have more than $999.

What's that supposed to mean?

You just lost one of your best.

Who?

George Logan.

Oh, don't tell.

Yeah, he's dead.

Poor Logan.

I knew the excitement of breaking out would be too much for him.

He had a bad heart.

Yes, well, let knife someone stuck in his back to help matters in either.

Incidentally, where can I find Philip Hernandez?

You're wasting your time, honey.

He isn't in New York.

He took the midnight plane to Chicago.

Well, it must make it off with Dove for you.

How have you been keeping yourself occupied?

No, how come, Mr. Wearing?

Surely you don't suspect me or killing Logan.

Of course not. I was just curious at all.

Well, when Phil told me about the news flash,

he heard about Logan breaking out.

I thought it called for a celebration,

so I went to the Hawk Club.

Where undoubtedly you were seen by a hundred different people.

At the very least.

Well, that makes a very handsome Alabama, huh?

I'm glad you like it.

All right, Angel, I'll be seeing you.

Oh, must you go?

Yes, but don't worry, I'll be back.

And it may be sooner than you think.

Who's there?

The lights are on me, Mike Wearing.

Oh, just a second.

How'd you make out Wearing?

No, I didn't.

You couldn't get a thing out of it?

No.

A girlfriend, Martha's got an Alabama.

Clam, she spent the entire evening at the Hawk Club.

Well, I was down there and everyone bears her out.

I must have been a new boyfriend who killed Logan.

No, a much more inclined and suspected was her old one.

Who?

You.

I don't understand.

Oh, sure you do.

You're a pretty smart boy, Kramer.

That was a beautiful plan you worked out to get Logan.

What are you talking about?

You went up to sing, saying to find somebody.

His name wasn't Bailey, it was Logan.

That business of your old man's suicide was so much tripe.

Logan took Martha away from you,

and that's why you had it in for him.

You got rocks in your head.

If Logan was the one I was after, why didn't I kill him

when we were in the same cell?

Because you were sure to go to the chair.

This way you felt confident you'd get away with it.

If I already thought that way, it was the one you were after.

As far as they knew, you had no connection with Logan.

With just a coincidence that you broke out together and someone killed him.

Are you playing a very smart, Kramer?

Obviously, it wasn't smart enough.

You caught on.

Well, it wasn't your fault.

Sometimes the fates conspire against you.

You said you broke out a stir at 8.30.

So?

So the news of the break wasn't released over the year until two hours later.

The first flash came at 10.30.

Well.

A Logan was murdered at 1.10.

3.40 now before either Martha or Phil Hernandez could possibly have known he escaped.

That's where your frame fell down.

Too bad you made that mistake.

We can't all be as clever as you, wearing.

Speaking of bonus, you made a pretty bad one yourself.

I don't see where.

You should have come back here.

But uh, you forget that I still have this gun.

Oh, no, I haven't.

Sergeant?

What?

Hi, Kramer.

Don't bother turning around.

Just drop the rod.

Come on, drop it.

Well, do you hear enough, Sergeant?

Freddie, okay, Kramer.

Let's be moving.

I'll make this up to you, wearing.

I don't bother.

Oh, are you plenty?

You don't owe me a thing, friend.

After all, if it hadn't been for you,

I never would have met Martha.

Why?

Take away, Sergeant.

I have work to do.

This is the season for hearty breakfasts, hot cakes, hot toast, hot rolls, waffles,

and the spread that adds extra goodness to every bite is parquet margarine made by craft.

Yes, parquet is the margarine minions prefer to any other because it tastes so good.

And it tastes so good because it's always fresh.

In states where the law permits, get yellow parquet in its new flavor,

savor aluminum foil wrap.

Elsewhere, get parquet in the regular package or handy color quick bag.

P-A-R-K-A-Y, parquet margarine made by craft.

The case of the substitute target.

The case of the substitute target at the title of next week's adventure of the Falcon,

when Mike Waring learns that just because a fella has a head on his shoulders,

he's no sign he's going to be able to keep it there.

So be sure to listen at the same time next week to another exciting adventure of the Falcon,

brought to you by the craft foods company.

The adventures of the Falcon are based on the famous character created by Drexel Drake,

produced by Bernadale Schubert, written today by Eugene Wang, and directed by Richard Lewis.

Music was by Arlo.

Les Damon was starred as the Falcon with Ken Lynch, a Sergeant Corbett.

Be sure to hear the great guilders leave next Wednesday evening over most of these stations.

In next Wednesday's broadcast, guildy comes face-to-face with an hilarious problem

and solves it in a way that will keep you laughing today.

Remember the show, the time and the place, the great guilders leave next Wednesday evening

over most of these stations.

Check your newspaper for time of broadcast.

This is Ed Hurne, he's speaking for the craft foods company.

Hi, this is Alex Cantrowitts, I'm the host of Big Technology podcast, a long time reporter and an on-air contributor to CNBC.

And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how artificial intelligence is changing the

business world and our lives.

So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech

and outsiders trying to influence it, asking where this is all going.

They come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon, and plenty more.

So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices,

and meetings with your colleagues and at dinner parties,

listen to Big Technology podcast wherever you get your podcasts.