The Falcon - The Case of the Loose Lip

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Warning, the following Zippercruder radio spot you are about to hear

is going to be filled with F words.

When you're hiring, we at Zippercruder know you can feel frustrated.

For Lauren, even.

Like your efforts are futile.

And you can spend a fortune trying to find fabulous people,

only to get flooded with candidates who are just fine.

Fortunately, Zippercruder figured out how to fix all that.

And right now, you can try Zippercruder for free.

At zippercruder.com slash zip.

With Zippercruder, you can forget your frustrations.

Because we find the right people for your roles fast,

which is our absolute favorite F word.

In fact, four out of five employers who post on Zippercruder

get a quality candidate within the first day.

Fantastic!

So, whether you need to hire four, 40, or 400 people,

get ready to meet first rate talent.

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The craft food company brings you the adventures of the Balkan,

starring left-themed.

And um, yes, this is the Balkan speaking.

Oh, Claire, I'm glad you called.

Now you don't have to give me a rain check, Angel.

I've got to teach a boy a lesson.

Somebody once told him torque was cheap,

but the way he runs off at the mouth

that figures he'll be stuck dead.

This is then, Hurley.

He friends inviting you on behalf of the craft food company

to listen to the adventures of the Balkan.

Transpriced tonight.

You met the Balkan first in his best selling album.

That you saw him in his thrilling motion picture series.

Now join him on the air when the Balkan saws.

The case of the loose lips.

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Now the case of the loose lips.

It's Wednesday evening in New York City,

and a shipped little character named Lippie Mayo

consults the phone book in the rear of the 60th Club.

And as his finger glides down the page,

someone taps him gently on the shoulder.

Excuse me, friends.

What?

What are you doing here, Daniel?

Matter of fact, Lippie, I was looking for you.

Me?

Yeah, Frank Vargas wants to see you.

Well, Vargas will have to wait.

I've got an important call to make.

That's what he's afraid of.

Hello, Daniels.

If Frank is worried about me ratting on that Mason stick up now,

well, he don't have to.

I'm not the kind of a guy who shoots off my mouth.

I'm sure Vargas will be glad to hear that.

Lippie, suppose we step outside and tell him,

no, I don't feel difficult.

Hey, put away that cannon, Daniels.

You're not bluffing me.

Wouldn't dare pulling you rough stuff here.

You mean because of the crowd?

Yeah.

This goes to show you, Lippie.

You don't know your mob psychology.

A five will get you ten that if I was to plug you here and now,

those folks out there would fall all over themselves, running the other way.

Who do you think you're a kid?

Believe me, fella. I know where have I speak.

Now, what do you say we go and say, Vargas?

No.

Hey.

Hello, Mike.

Steve Mayo, come in.

Thanks.

Well, no.

Haven't seen you since the end of the war.

When you pulling the town?

About 20 minutes ago.

What brings you here?

My brother.

Giving here the character named Lippie Mayo.

You mean you're related to Lippie?

Only on my father and mother's side.

Oh, I see.

You ever run across him?

Well, that's all right, Mike.

I can understand when I know him with the old brother.

That's all right, Mike.

I can understand when I know him with the overly fond of Lippie.

No matter the fact, I'm not too crazy about him or stuff.

You know he was shot tonight.

Man, so I heard how is he?

Doc says he'll pull through, but he'll be paralyzed for life.

That's too bad.

You wouldn't happen to know who was responsible?

No, I wouldn't.

But you declined, actually.

Well, I don't think I'd care to, Steve.

Suppose I put it on the professional basis.

It's a private detective that you're usually a thief.

I still wouldn't be interested in it.

First of all, it's a job for the police.

And secondly?

Secondly, I think I got an idea of what you have in mind.

And you don't approve.

Nope, not a bit.

Okay, friend, all right, feelings.

Suppose there are other ways of finding out.

Uh, listen to me.

Sorry, Mike, I haven't time.

There's a lot of work to do.

I'd better be on my way.

I don't want to heckle, Vogue.

Don't you think it's time we headed for home?

No, Daniel, the cops might be waiting.

What are you intended to cruise around for the next five years?

We'll go home when I'm good and ready.

Anything you say?

You think you killed Bibi?

I didn't wait for the autopsy.

You shouldn't have shot him.

All right, what were you planning to do?

Buy him an annuity?

He didn't have to pick out such a public place.

Maybe he was spotted.

I wasn't.

You can't ever tell, matter of fact,

there's a car behind us now.

That's all there is.

What makes you think we're playing part of the litter?

He's been behind us for the last five blocks ever since we got off Madison.

Turn up a hundred and third.

Well, you're all right.

What should I do?

You're the boss, remember?

Don't be such a wise guy.

You know I don't know this neighborhood.

And you get halfway up near the next block.

Make a sharp right.

There's an alley there.

What does it lead to?

No way.

It's a dead end.

Just drive in and cut your motor.

Easy now.

You don't want to pass it.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Turn off your lights.

You see him?

Not yet.

There he goes.

There he goes.

It's not a squad car.

I didn't think it was.

You got a cigarette?

Sure.

Nice.

Oh, it's a matter, Frank.

You're shaking.

I guess I'm kind of jumping out.

They've been sleeping so good lately.

It was coffee, I bet.

Look, Daniel, just because I thought that car was following, I was.

What are you talking about?

Did you notice the make?

It was a mash.

A green mash?

Is that ring a bell?

I gave one like that to Eileen Dury.

And then you gave it the air?

I think Eileen was following me.

I think it's a point well worth investigating.

Oh, carry, Daniels.

See what you can find out.

Dr. Staggan.

Hello, Eileen.

Well, I've been admitted to Daniels.

Surprise?

Not as much as you think.

Why didn't you come himself?

Oh, Frank.

Oh, you think Bargit sent me?

I know he did.

You're absolutely right.

Do you mind if I sit down?

I certainly do.

Even though it's a Bargit for me, I don't care what he's got to say.

I'm through with him.

All right, let's have it.

What?

Whatever he wanted you to tell me.

Nothing is going to do him any good.

After what Bargit said to me.

Yeah, it was a rotten trick.

And after you gave him the best years of your life.

I know he did, Ty.

It's like George your peaches in running around with him.

Not so, you'd notice it.

You mean Frank didn't send you here to...

Effect a reunion?

Yeah.

No.

Your life is crazy about me.

But he is.

He certainly got us both full.

And please don't with me.

I couldn't take it.

What if Frank had to say?

Why should I stop chasing him?

Chasing?

Yeah, it's awfully bad for his nerves.

It was quite a scary game tonight.

Why don't you start trailing us?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Was you in that car?

I haven't been out all evening.

Why would you do a man tell me?

If you think I'd run after a meatball like Frank's bargains,

you're crazy.

I can't even stand him.

All I have to do is whistle and I could have a million guys.

And with no money, too.

Sure, sure you could, I mean.

Just stay with him Frank.

I tell you, I hate him.

I'd like to see him dead.

If I could get my hands on him for just...

Stanley talked to him before me.

When you tell him I won't be jealous anymore, do anything else?

Well, Stanley, he wouldn't have you back on his bed.

So they pleased me.

I'll show him.

I know what he's been up to.

I saw him tonight in front of...

Yeah?

You want anything we can say?

Nothing.

Just tell Mr. Bargit Stanley, he's going to request it.

For every sleepless night I spend,

he's going to spend a hundred.

Okay.

I like the story, Frank.

I got the impression Eileen was kind of peeved with him.

So it was her in that car?

It would be my guess.

What are you going to do about it?

I'll take care of it.

When?

When I'm good and ready.

Now there's something you don't realize, Frank.

And there's something you don't realize, Daniel.

You're working for me.

You get smart and you'll be out.

Do we understand each other?

Sure.

But time you got almost 10.

I wonder what's keeping it tomato.

Nothing very new would like hearing you call her that.

When I need your advice and how to handle women,

I'll let you know.

Call downstairs.

I imagine that must be the little lady now.

Forget it.

Since you asked so nicely.

You, Frank Bargit.

At him?

I'll just the second.

You, uh...

You Bargit?

Who are you?

St. Leo?

Leo?

Yeah.

Maybe you know my brother Leo.

No.

Oh, sure you do, Frank.

He's the boy they call Lippie.

You keep out of this, mister.

Throw him out, Daniel.

I asked you something.

Bargit?

You know my brother?

Just to say hello, too.

What about a good bye?

Huh?

He was shot a couple of hours ago.

Or haven't you heard?

You see?

Dead?

No.

Not just the well-deaf.

Completely paralyzed.

Paralyzed.

What do you know about it?

Nothing.

Too red any.

See?

I got a tip you were looking for, Lippie, tonight.

Who says no, mine?

What'd you want him for?

I didn't want to put anything.

Whoever says I did is full of baloney.

If you're lying, Bargit.

Cut it out.

Try to kill my brother.

No.

No, dear.

I don't know.

Will you be in around one o'clock tonight?

Why?

Because I may want to talk to you again.

If you think I'm staying here.

Yes, I do.

You know it's good for you who will move till I come back.

Just remember that.

You know something, Frank?

I think Mr. Mayo meant every word he said.

Get out.

Why, what's the matter?

You were a great help.

Why did you stop him?

Well, I'll be perfectly honest.

I didn't think of it, but I'm glad I stifled the impulse.

Because it confirms the suspicion of mine.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're not so tough.

You think so?

I know so.

And if a guy like you can get along,

I think I'll go in business for myself.

That'll be extraordinary if they think they can push me.

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You get qualified candidates fast.

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Like your efforts are futile.

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And right now, you can try Zip Recruiter for free.

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which is our absolute favorite F word.

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What are you doing, Betty?

It's your own fault, right?

If you're going to school and like that, I'm not going to be able to fix that out.

How does it look?

You just wait till I finish with the pattern.

Black eye, I know you're still a handsomest thing in New York.

What that island doing was crazy to let you get away.

Who told you about island?

Oh, I heard stories.

But you're not going to get away from me.

Come here, baby.

Oh.

And I've seen this.

There used to say back home there wasn't a man born

who could turn Betty Lumos's head.

Who is it down there?

Down where?

Where you come from, George.

Oh, it's just wonderful, friend.

You'd really love it.

Okay.

We'll leave tonight.

But first we go to California.

I got some business there.

I want you to get two tickets on the cheap.

Sure, I couldn't even set short notice.

Why not?

But I got my career to think.

I'll perfect the needles.

Don't make me laugh.

As soon as you pick up the tickets, give me a ring.

I'll tell you where to meet me.

Well, what are you waiting for?

Well, I don't have any money.

Oh.

Well, remember that envelope I gave you last Saturday?

But you need one with all those hundred...

How did you know what was in there?

Thank you.

You hurt me now.

Where's the dough?

In the hotel, please.

Get it.

Go on, get it.

You better be back before 12.30.

Because if I get to come looking for you,

you're going to lose more than that accent.

Your order, please.

My order, please.

This is Frank Vargas in 2019.

Yes, Mr. Vargas.

Yes, Mr. Vargas.

What's the matter with you people anyhow?

I asked you to send up the bar, but I know where to go.

I'm sure he must be on his way.

How's he coming by, Tony Express?

Listen, you have that guy.

He's not here.

Hold it.

Okay, okay, I hide you.

He certainly took you.

Just here.

Oh, hi, Mike.

Hi, Ed.

Hey, Sergeant Corbin on.

No?

Funny.

Tell me to meet him here at your lunch tonight.

It didn't sound like his mind was on food.

Mm-hmm.

Is yours?

Well, I had to tell you, I don't really know.

Corbin was a bar, but he got me all hot,

and I don't think I'm very hungry.

Mike, I know just a thing for you.

Just a thing to perk up your interest.

It is.

I sure do.

The pretty and blonde of an ass coolest,

crispiest, greenest salad you ever ate.

Oh, fine.

That's what I mean, Mike.

A salad like that is fine for perkting up your appetite.

And Mike, I'll make it with Miracle Whip.

Well, Ed, I'll exciting.

You really mean it?

Mike, I wouldn't joke about that.

You know, the salad dressing is one of the important things

to consider when you make a salad.

Miracle Whip is the right salad dressing to consider,

because it makes salad taste better than ever.

Mm-hmm.

The folks's craft tell me it's made from a secret recipe.

That's why it tastes so different and good.

Give salads a peppy flavor, you know.

And not too peppy, either.

I'd say it makes some taste just right, wouldn't you?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, yes.

Yes, absolutely.

Well, I say that all the time.

They taste just right with the...

Miracle Whip.

Why millions of folks think so, Mike?

That's why Miracle Whip is America's favorite salad dressing.

Sure.

Did you know that more Miracle Whip is sold

on the next 20 leading brands combined?

Mike?

Huh?

Oh, see, I'm sorry, Ed.

I was thinking about that pretty blonde cool green salad

that you mentioned before.

Fix me one, huh?

I thought about one of your super deluxe hamburgers, too.

Okay, Mike, you're forgiven.

Miracle Whip is such a swell salad dressing.

I guess I could carry it away sometimes.

I'd say it's a hamburger and a salad.

I mean, that sounds pretty good, Ed.

I suppose you fix that for me, too.

We'll do, Sergeant.

Well, by the time, Corbett, you know how long I've been waiting?

Well, I was detained.

You know, as he's Mayo.

Why?

I hear Tully was up to figure yesterday.

Hey, why was I know who might have done this brother-lippy?

Did you help him out?

No, why not?

Because I was afraid of what he might do

if he ever caught up with the character.

Well, of course I've got no proof

that I heard it was fine-bargaged.

That's what I heard, too.

Apparently, everybody was in on the news,

so I don't suppose Steve had much trouble finding it out.

What are you talking about?

Vargas was killed an hour ago.

No.

Yes.

And you think Steve Mayo?

Uh-huh.

Is he in the brig?

Yeah.

I gotta see him, Corbett.

Oh, what about the food?

Well, Ed will have to keep it for us.

Right now, there's something more important we've got to do.

Hi, Steve.

Mike.

Yeah, I thought I'd look in on you.

I appreciate it.

I, uh, just been talking to Sergeant Corbett.

I could imagine what he said.

I'd like to help you, Steve.

I said he could use it.

Did you, uh, kill Frank Vargas?

No.

What do you think?

You were looking for him?

No, I wasn't.

Now, look, Steve.

You came to me.

But I was looking for him.

I was looking for him.

I was looking for him.

I was looking for him.

I was looking for him.

I was looking for him.

Now, look, Steve.

You came to me.

But I wasn't looking for Vargas.

I just asked if you knew anybody who might have shot Lippie.

You didn't know.

Well, you could have learned somewhere else.

According to his boy, Daniel, you were up to see him tonight.

I was just taking pot luck.

Who tipped you the Vargas might have shot your brother?

I don't exactly remember.

Can you remember a proximate?

No.

Well, he happened to recall that it was a male or female.

Steve, you're not being very helpful.

I'm sorry, Mike, but I'm not going to involve innocent people.

You don't want to go ahead with what you've got.

What are you going to do?

What are you going to do?

You've given me absolutely nothing to go on.

Well, he told me the fork and was the guy if it makes something out of nothing.

Let's see, approve it.

Yes.

How do you do?

Where do you want?

Well, it all depends.

You island doing.

Who's your husband?

Well, I don't like it a few minutes of your time.

Where are you?

Wearing his name, Mike Wearing.

Oh, not the fork.

Well, now I know what pace you advertise.

Hey, don't tell me you're taking a loan.

You don't approve?

Well, not when you're going to have company.

At least now.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, is this cosian?

It's on your mind.

Murdered?

Anyone I know?

I think so.

Have you heard of a gentleman named Frank Vargas?

By that bottom.

Well, he's a late-unlimited.

Is that supposed to be a hot flash?

No, I'm sure you must have seen the papers.

Matter of fact, that's where I picked up your name.

I think I read something about your carrying a torch.

There's a lie.

Well, sure it is, I mean.

I have to be out of his mind to give up a girl like you.

But then some men don't know when they're well-off.

I even said that again.

Sure, Frank must have been crazy to let that...

What's her name again?

Okay, look, what are you up to?

I'm just trying to find out if you've noticed any grievances.

Me?

Don't make me laugh.

All I had to do was to pick up that phone

and Frank had come running back.

Well, then you wouldn't be the one who killed him.

I thought the police had the man as dead.

You mean Steve's male?

No, it's a funny thing, Island.

Is it?

Yeah, I think so, because all of a sudden the papers

was that the police were holding

and unidentified suspect they didn't mention names.

So?

So, that forces me to one conclusion.

You must have been the one who tipped off Steve and Mayor.

That var just did that job and let the...

Get out.

Now, I leave.

Are you going to get out of here?

If I thought for one minute, I could miss you.

You certainly did.

Thank you.

All right, I leave.

I'll give you another chance

when you're tempering your aim, improve.

Welcome home, buddy.

What?

How'd you get in here, darling?

I told the room clerk I was your brother from the south.

You what?

Yeah, you should have heard me, honey.

Can you all tell me all well?

You got your nose.

Yeah, but that's all I got, buddy.

You got a lot more of that.

What are you talking about?

That nasty stuff, money.

Money?

Mm-hmm.

The last time I spoke to Frank Bargess,

he told me you were holding a bundle for him.

What?

I returned it.

When?

I didn't see what I'd done in your business, Mr. Daniels.

No, I guess that comes into the hitting of police business.

What do you mean?

When the cops found his body, there wasn't a dime on him.

Do you think you're pretty smart, don't you?

Smart enough.

When you're not as clever as you believe.

No?

No.

For that, tell the police you had a falling out with Frank.

Oh, no, you wouldn't do that.

Would you show the point?

Mm-hmm.

Come on, buddy.

When Frank's wrong.

I'll give it to you.

And I'll give it to you if you don't stop playing games.

Now where's that dough?

Who?

Mike Waring.

Just a second.

Okay, come in.

Hello, Danny.

Wow.

Bring you down this meg of the woods.

Well, it's a long story.

He better say that when I'm catching the 9 o'clock claim,

it's in Louis.

Well, sir, I just still got a half hour.

I've been wanting to talk to you for some time.

Oh, one.

Frank Bogus' murder.

Don't tell me you're working for that Steve Mayo character.

Yep.

Well, that's the luck.

I'm going to need more than that.

You used to know Bogus pretty well.

You might even say we were inseparable.

Well, who do you think killed him?

What about your client?

You naturally can't expect me to go for that.

Then I don't know what you're going to do wearing.

You can't suggest anyone else?

Nope.

You know, there's a slight flaw on your story, Danny.

Yeah.

We should show me where.

Well, if you and Frank were inseparable, we were.

Then how come you let Steve Mayo bounce a morale?

Oh, we all make mistakes.

Yeah, that was yours.

Because the police might think you wanted to see Frank get hurt.

Do you think when Mayo didn't do it for me,

I did it myself.

Well, you claimed there was no one else in the picture.

Go on, get out.

That thing loaded, it is.

And I'd be within my rights if I plugged to your trespassing here.

How do I know you're not a burglar?

Well, am I?

You're doing all your rights.

Maybe we can work out a deal.

Cut it out to you.

Jerk!

You would try it, stunt like that.

Operator, get me the police.

I just shot a burglar.

Well, right now I venture against the damn Daniels

will never win a popularity poll.

But talking about popularity,

here's something that really is popular.

It's the most popular salad dressing ever created.

Miracle Whip.

Miracle Whip.

Has the flavor so pleasing?

Miracle Whip.

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Now, back to the adventures of the Polkaner.

Four hours of past since Mike Wearing was shot by Danny Daniels.

And now, as we find the Polkan,

he's much the worst for wear.

Hey, how do you feel, Mike?

Rotten thanks.

I can't move my right arm.

No wonder it's in the sling.

Huh?

Oh, you'll never learn.

I'll let you two to one you'll be doing the same thing again next week.

What hospital is this, anyway?

Hospital.

If you recognize a prison infirmary when you see it.

A lot?

Well, you know breaking and entering is a penal offense.

Breaking and entering.

That's what the man claimed.

Daniels?

Ah, huh.

Listen, Sergeant.

I got this whole thing figured out.

Look, why don't you just relax?

Daniels killed Frank Waters.

Where's your proof?

Well, what else would he plug me for?

Well, he thought you were a thief.

Are you?

I might consider it, but I thought the rest of the force wasn't smarter than you.

I tell you, Danny killed Vargas and I can prove it.

How?

Vargas gave Ilean to either heave hope for another girl.

So, though, Daniels denied that Frank had anyone else on the string.

Now, why would he say that?

If other girl must have seen Danny killed Frank,

that would be the best reason of all the keeper out of this.

It makes sense.

And all he got to do is find her.

Oh, that's the easiest thing in the world.

Her name's Betty Lou Morse.

How did you know that?

Well, contrary to popular belief, we do work occasionally.

Well, then it's a sin.

Or you got to do is get this Betty Lou to talk.

Oh, that's a part that's going to be tough.

Even you couldn't get anything out of this girl.

Oh, don't tell me.

All right, I won't.

But in case the guy in the next bed's curious, he's dead.

Here.

Hello, Ilean.

Well, well, well.

Are you back again?

Yes, indeed.

Only this time I brought the sergeant along.

How do you do?

Now, look, I don't have to send.

What am you on?

Oh, you weren't the only one who taught things my way today.

Only the other party's aim was better.

Now, listen, Ilean.

If you're all going to start asking me questions again.

Yes, indeed.

Only this time I brought the sergeant along.

How do you do?

Now, look, I don't have to send.

What am you on?

I'm starting to start asking me questions again about Frank's murder.

I still got the same answer.

I don't know anything about it.

What about Betty Lou Morse?

Betty Lou Morse?

Yeah, she was killed with the same gun.

I don't even know the girl.

Well, you know she picked up with Vargas where you left off?

I didn't kill her.

No one said she did.

All the sergeant I want you to do is clean up a couple of loose ends.

But they should think I can.

You tipped off Steve Mayer that Vargas shot at his brother Lippie.

I was just guessing.

No, you weren't.

It was too close.

All right.

I was following Frank around yesterday

when I saw him pull up a 16-year-old brother.

What time was this?

Around a quarter of eight.

What happened?

Danny got out of the car.

He was later on his knee shot.

Well, then Daniel was the one who gun Lippie.

Not Vargas?

Yes.

Well, I guess that doesn't make.

After Daniel did that job on Lippie,

he must have had to run in with Frank and gave him the same medicine.

Only in a stronger dose.

Hey, I better get a wanted out on him.

Yeah, you better.

And it's for you, young lady.

Yeah.

We're going to have to hold you as a material witness.

Oh, no.

How much to bother her with that sergeant?

What's so matter, Mike?

You know the law.

That's the point I'm trying to make.

Do you want to hold I lean?

Why not make it for murder?

What are you talking about?

I've been getting Daniel so much credit.

He shot Lippie, but you killed Vargas and Betty Lou Morse.

Madison and 59 first, Robert.

Hey, Mike.

You weren't kidding about I lean killing Frank Vargas?

No, of course not.

Why did you do it?

It was crazy about him.

Great way to show it.

Let me brush her off.

What about Betty Lou Morse?

If I lean murder Frank, she certainly wasn't going to let her rival get off stop free.

How do you know?

You told me.

Me?

Yes, you said both Vargas and Betty were killed with the same gun.

So?

Oh, that eliminated Steve Mayo and Daniel.

Oh, I can see Mayo.

He was in a break.

But how do you figure Daniel?

Well, what time was Betty Lou killed?

Well, like I said, 8.30.

And you remember when I went up to visit Daniels?

He claimed he was going to make a 9 o'clock flight and he had a half-hour to kill.

Sure.

If Daniels was pumping lead into you at 8.30, he couldn't be doing it to Betty Lou.

That leaves only I lean.

Well, that's the other simpler thing.

Any further questions?

Yeah, yeah.

How do you account for the fact Daniels didn't kill you?

Luck of the Irish.

Oh, you call that luck?

With that right arm in a swing, what good are you for the next week?

That you're drinking in romance and arm, isn't it?

Yep.

Then you're better off dead.

Oh, I had this compensation.

That's also my check-grabbing arm.

Darling.

Yeah.

He'll take care of it.

Good night, friend.

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That's the title of next week's adventure of the Balkan.

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