The Gap Between

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There are two versions of you, the one people see, and the one you are when no one's looking.

The you that shows up to dinner parties, smiling and making small talk, and the you that sits

alone afterward, exhausted from performing.

The you that posts a highlight reel, and the you that lives in the ordinary, messy,

unremarkable middle.

The gap between these two versions, it's actually wider than you think, and carrying both,

oh, it's exhausting.

Am I alone in this?

Let's find out.

I'm Chad Lawson, and let's comment down in three, two, one.

We all do this.

We curate.

We edit.

We present a version of ourselves that feels safe and acceptable, even manageable.

Not because we're lying, no, but because the real version feels too complicated to explain.

It's just too raw and too messy, and let's be honest, too much.

So we smooth out the edges.

We hide the parts that don't quite fit the story.

We perform the person we think people want to see, and somewhere in all of that performing,

we lose track of who we actually are.

The gap between who you are and who you pretend to be, it takes energy.

Energy to remember which version you showed to which person.

Energy to keep the story straight, to maintain the image, to not let anything real slip through.

You think you're protecting yourself, and maybe you are, but you're also hiding, hiding

from connection, hiding from being known, from the relief of just being yourself.

Think about the last time you said you were fine when you weren't.

Someone asked how you were doing.

You smiled and said, good, thanks, you, but you weren't good.

You were struggling.

You were overwhelmed.

You were barely holding it together, but you didn't say that, because saying that felt

like too much, like crossing a line, like being a burden.

So you performed fine, and they believed you, actually, and the conversation just moved

on, and the gap got wider.

Here's what happens when the gap gets too wide.

You start to feel disconnected, not just from other people, from yourself.

You don't know who you're supposed to be anymore.

The real you or the version you've been showing everyone, and you forget what you actually

like, what you actually want, what you actually feel.

As you've been so focused on being the right version, you've lost touch with the real

one.

And that's lonely, even when you're surrounded by people, especially then.

So what do we do?

You start closing the gap, slowly, and carefully, and with people who feel safe.

You don't have to announce your whole truth at once.

You don't have to expose every hidden part.

You just practice being a little more real, a little more honest, and a little less performed.

Maybe it's admitting that you're tired instead of saying that you're fine, or maybe it's

sharing something you actually are struggling with.

Instead of just the things you've already figured out, maybe it's letting someone see

you on a bad day, not cleaned up, not put together, just real.

It's scary, I know, but it's also quite freeing.

So here's your practice this week.

Notice when you're performing, not to judge yourself, just to notice.

When do you shift into the version people expect?

When do you hide the messy parts?

When do you say you're fine when you're not?

Just notice the gap, how wide it is, how much energy it takes to maintain it.

And then, with one person this week, try closing it just a little.

Say one thing true, share one real feeling.

Let them see one small piece of the version that you usually hide.

See what happens.

See if the world ends, see if they pull away, or see if maybe, just maybe, they feel a little

closer to you.

See yes, there are two versions of you.

The one people see, and the one you are, and the gap between them is exhausting to carry.

So maybe it's time to close it, even just a little.

Thank you, thank you for listening, thank you for living, and until next time, be kind

to your mind, and join me again as we...comment down.

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This podcast was written and produced by yours, truly, Chad Lawson, composer, pianist,

and nationally recognized, sweet tooth.

The views, expressions, and techniques in this episode are of my personal opinion, and

not intended, nor should they, service the substitute from medical advice or diagnosis

rendered to you by your individual doctor or other healthcare provider.

Only a licensed physician should evaluate your situation, provide a diagnosis, or render

other medical advice to you, and you should only act upon the advice of this physician.

Now I'm an extreme empath by nature, but my profession is that of a composer and pianist,

not a licensed therapist or a physician.

I hear from thousands of listeners how my music has helped them through various stages of

emotional needs, and I simply want to offer this in future podcast episodes to aid those

needs.

So to find a list of licensed professionals in your area, please visit, commentdownpodcast.com.

And if you've enjoyed today's episode, please leave a review, or better yet, share it

with a friend.

While it takes less than 60 seconds to do, its impact will last for years to come, as

every little bit helps in growing the awareness and the importance of mental and emotional

health.

Thank you for listening, thank you for living, and until next time, be kind to your mind,

and join me again, as we comment down.