The Great Turning & My Graduation: Personal & Professional (big changes)

Lear on the cusp of equinox. The cherry trees are blooming and there's a fine yellow

dusting from the oak trees over everything including me if I sit here long enough.

I've just gotten back from a swim and I'm sitting in the sun and as usual my

thoughts go to you. You know I didn't get to have children. Many miscarriages

later I had so much love to give and so much desire to nurture. I had been given

so much love and I was so nurtured but somehow consciously or unconsciously I

chose to channel that love into community but I didn't want just people who

came and went I wanted people who would consider staying for a lifetime or maybe

even more. Our elder Carmen Baraka used to say this only when it was a really

good gathering she would say maybe we agreed to meet here. I love that idea

and that feeling it ties so perfectly in with the legends of the red thread

that were already connected that were called here that we each have in our own

piece and that we witness each other's stories. Well today I'm inviting you to

witness my story. I think the only people who will find this curious perhaps

are community members or graduates of intentional creativity maybe some of

you who linger around the edges whether you ever study with me or not but it's

the evolution of a sacred feminine entrepreneur becoming a matriarch. I'm just a

few months from being 56 and while I still don't have children of my own and

while my relationship to the community is changing there's a wisdom that has

settled into my star dust bones and this wisdom is what I think of as

elemental wisdom so completely sacred and yet so completely essential to all

of life. The teachings I'm living in right now feel so basic and yet also

somehow elusive. I've just completed my body of work which started with color

of woman which was a journal that I created in my early 20s with drawings of my

breakthrough images like literally the images where I came on into myself where

my eyes were opened into life and my identity and where I said yes to my

sacred work in the world. That cycle is complete. What a joy, what a

challenge, what a gift. I mean I'm an artist, a poet, a ritualist but I'm not

really a COO or a president. I don't even love the word founder. I'm a lineage

keeper. I have materials to pass on to people in this lifetime that are from

this lifetime but also from the ancestors because what I teach I consider

so completely basic. Make with you make with love put your intention into it when

you bring your focus into what you're making what you're making changes and so

to you especially if you pay attention. Everything is frequency. Attune your

frequency to the most optimal coherence for any given situation and decision and

watch how things move around you. The field the energy around us is

governing the particles and the matter within us. Energy equals matter at the

speed of light equals energy plus love. That all just seems like common

language. It's my mother tongue but it's the mother tongue of most of the women

who learn it. They're like oh yeah got that. I mean it's so easy to absorb. It

takes some practice to live it but as soon as people hear it they're like oh yeah

make what I make with love. Oh yeah energy my thoughts become matter in my

artwork whatever I make like oh okay it's all so basic and the loss of it is

such a tragedy. When colonization and conquest and the whole ridiculous kind of

culture against women and children and earth that we have going on now the

raging zeitgeist of the power over paradigm that's happening right now. When

that started you know eight to ten thousand years ago the things that were

removed from from women specifically as the mothers of the children were

things like our own identity, our cultural agency, our voice, our ability to

think our own thoughts. We were taught that we aren't even safe to think our

own thoughts. We have to pass them out to God. The God that they just assigned to

us. We weren't in charge of our body. They taught us there were five senses. The

whole bottom half of the body is just completely removed. They taught us to live

from the brain and totally denied the gut and the vulva and the womb. They told

us that our soul is brokered and that it could be exchanged or sold to the devil.

And this could not be farther from the truth. No one could broker your soul, your

body, your voice, your identity. They extracted our resources. They took them by

force based on the gender inequity from a finance and landholder and power

position. Oh my gosh, those numbers are so startling for this century. The

disparity is sickening and devastating and persistent and is being perpetuated

right now as things like diversity, equity and inclusion are continually being

erased from the files as if it never even happened. And if you can believe it,

women are included in that need for equity as a value system for organizations.

That's gone. This has been going on for so long. We didn't own things before back in

the matriarchal days. We were stewards, although we likely didn't use that word. We

were family with. We were companions with creation, really companions with

creation and everything that was commonly shared became brokered and sold off,

metered off and divided off and borders created and disputes began and the need

for protection and nationhood. These ideas are foreign to women's bodies. Let

me just tell you what you already know. The ideas of ownership and capitalism and

conquest are foreign to women's bodies. These are not set up for us. Corporations

and capitalism are not set up for women's bodies. Our bodies are not created to

hold this kind of information. It is foreign to us this idea of ownership. And

yet some of us choose to get into it so that we can become stewards and so that

we don't continue to become those who do not have inheritance. Those who are

not clear on our will and our estate. More women are going to inherit resources

than ever before in the next 10 years. And it matters to me that we know how to

work with what we have. But let me tell you what the past 10 years of learning to

work in a capitalist world but not be extractive where I meet with my CFO and

review numbers and spreadsheets and emails for hours and hours and hours

exploring productivity and profitability exploring the increase of something

called SaaS software as a service. Looking at how much of what I create from

the goodness of my heart and my body is gone to taxes and to fees and to

percentages and to interest. Like I just can't quite quote get ahead but what

is it that I'm trying to get ahead of anyway? A system they created. And so I'm

not having fun with it. I'm really not. I'm having a fucking blast teaching and

calling circle and stomping my feet and howling at the moon and handing

women a giant paintbrush and letting them know that it's magic wand. I am

having the time of my life working in groups of people and educating healers

guides leaders and shamans how to work with self-expression ways that they

hadn't imagined were possible but then once they do they're like oh of course

it's so basic right? We can move from beta stress fight flight into alpha

into theta with spikes into gamma through self-expression. It isn't hard and

doesn't cost a lot of money. It does take some focus and some practice. Like it's

so essential the self-expression that we teach and intention creativity and the

resulting identity shift that occurs it's legendary that's why we say you can

transform your life into a legend but now I'm laying down the way that the

company has been working. It's an untenable model. It was built with my

former partner and business partner and life partner Jonathan McLeod and by

the time I discovered how to manage the finances and the software as a service

and everything we were in so deep into the structures and I've spent years three

years trying to back down from where we were and just finding out today that the

amount of money that I need to make in any given month in order to keep just the

basic systems flowing even if I only had one staff member is an amount that is

inconceivable to most people. It's software it's it's debt it's operating it's

subscriptions that are required it's this thing which connects to this thing

which connects to this thing and then the people who have to run it and then the

people who manage it and then the people who report on it. It is wild and I don't

like it but I do love to teach and I do love to be in circle and I

am carrying a gift that gift at its essence is called Stardust Bones which is

a book that I wrote on the consciousness teachings of intentional creativity. It

is the summary of my life work to this moment. I didn't want to just unt because

I'm just getting started I wanted to share what I've gathered in condense and I

didn't want to step out I want to step in but not have to manage all these

systems and structures. I still don't know what I'm going to do about all of that

but I know I'm going to keep teaching and in a way there's a simplification. The

simplification is called Stardust lineage it's the distilled essence of

intentional creativity and everything I've learned so far the book is called

Stardust Bones and everything I teach at least for this next cycle which

appears to be three to five years is going to be within the framework of

Stardust lineage. We're going to have complementary offerings so that it's

accessible to all that is so important to me and continue with the Cura

Council. We're going to have affordable sessions where people can taste to the

work for Andra $100 because we want people to still be able to do it and not

have to do the big things. We're going to have weekend experiences connected

with the Stardust Bones material that can be in different places around the

world and then I'm doing the Stardust initiation which is currently a nine

month training that can be for personal or professional development. There is

going to be a licensing and certification so people can do the work with their

clients but it isn't going to be a traditional certification. I'm not going to

be tracking and tending in that way it's not going to be up to me it's going to

be a limited license that people can use the material and the way that works for

them. The material is so basic and so beautiful. I believe every woman in the

whole world would benefit from things like having access to identity, restoration

of voice, healing with her physical, sensual body, reconnection with the

soul, the powerful path of manifestation from a feminine perspective, access to

her calling, liberated self-expression and ultimately culminating in a

rights of passage level self-initiation that we provide instruction for but

ultimately she does for herself. This is what I'm called to do at this time. This

is what I am doing at this time. While I'll continue to do some other offerings as

I feel called and inspired I have beautiful collaborations with Jennifer

Bearson and Amy Aillers that are calling from my deepest heart. I'm moving into

the Stardust lineage, the matriarchal mystery school. I know that some of you

will come along with me and many of you will see this as your time to complete

our time together and wow let me just thank you as I release any red threads

that are ready to be released. I don't need or want anyone to come along and

keep hanging out if it isn't exactly right for you. You'll feel the

resonance if it is. Like Sue Hoyas-Cellars says we are all cooling socks of

stars and my stars recognize the stars in you and like my mother Karen McLeod

says and the point is you have to design a point for yourself and like our

elder Carmen Baraka says everything isn't always fleeting not as if you see

it as everything interdimensionally at play at once. She also said to my mother

Karen McLeod you will be bathed in Stardust. So I invite you to just witness me the

shapeshifting of a legendary matriarch into this exact moment of space time and

place. Some things are gonna look similar and repackaged other things will

feel entirely new but really it's just an evolution of what has been like a

family growing older together the kids grow up the parents become elders they

look the same but different the Stardust lineage work will look the same but

different but I want as many people as possible to be able to teach it to

lead their own circles with it to work with their clients with it I'm gonna

design it in such a way that you could teach it in a day or an hour different

parts there's nine promises that get made in the Stardust lineage work and those

nine promises could happen literally through a day long experience touched

lightly introduced or a nine month or a three-year I mean they could just

expand out each one could be its own workshop like the titles are source

presence access voice curate consciousness activate manifestation you know

these are all about self-expression and when I first taught it in the first

template of the course Stardust bones to get the curriculum outlined at the

end of it I realized something super powerful that these exact promises that

I was having women make were literally the exact ways that the patriarchy and

power over structures has sought to keep us silent so in this exact moment I

want to give thanks to an incredible Stardust sister Adrienne for her support in

the curriculum and the creation of the book and I look forward to sharing it

with all of you for years to come I hope I'll see you in the next circles I

look forward to it much love curate shy loves of yeah and let me just say this

this love is real this love flowing between us is the truest thing I've ever

known really my love for you is so true it's hard to even put it into language

this love I feel right now is my mother tongue and I hope you can feel the truth

in the care in my words as I find my way forward a bit more sovereign teaching

sovereignty yet always connected to the community that I love and the women

that have stood behind side me and behind me and those also in front of me

calling me forward I'll see you on the path remember I'm not stepping out I'm

stepping in and some of you will step in with me