The Line in the Sand — Hypnosis for Acceptance, Meaning and Emotional Freedom

0:00Welcome to the hidden test. The show that gives you inside access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing genuine issues. Brought to you by the hypnotherapist Amanda Bycer Liberty's CEO's and even royalty, Adam Cox. These recordings took place live from Evansville in London's world famous Harley Street. Sure, get yourself comfortable and enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist. Hi, it's Adam here and you're about to listen to a hypnosis session all about acceptance and boundaries when dealing with either a toxic person or a toxic situation. This session was created for a client that was dealing with a legal matter from within their own family

1:02and what felt to them like an active betrayal that actually something that was communicated or promise was then backtracked and it was done without any kind of communication. So they felt grief and loss at what they hoped would be real but then found out that they were dealing with a reality that was very different from that. Now this has two key parts. The first part of this is an emotional detox, a way of semantically finding any toxic or heavy emotions in the body, treating them as signals and signposts rather than the heavy emotions but then releasing them because they're not valuable in the moment. But then also a level of acceptance and meaning and part of the meaning that you can give to someone or something that is making choices and decisions which clearly do not value you as a person, you could almost get to a point of gratitude and really think thank you for actually making it so easy now to make a decision in accordance with what you now know as fact.

2:17So it's actually turning betrayal into a form of feedback which leads to wisdom, which leads to discernment, which creates the line in the sand that says, okay, these are all the things I can't control. I'll accept that they are real and not have to interact with them too much based on creating boundaries but then really focus on doing the things that actually enriches quality of life relationships and the kind of things that make you feel good. There's quite a bit going on here. It's very metaphorical but I think if you are currently going through a betrayal, a loss or something toxic you might get some value from this session, just be aware that it was created for an individual, some of the references would be perfect for the client I was working with and not quite right for you because it was a bespoke session for them. That said, you can pick out the bits that are relevant for you. And if you like the idea of working with me directly, you can visit my website, Adam Cox, not go to UK or click the link in the show notes to learn more about working with me directly. So you get to work with me individually rather than listening to my recordings.

3:22But equally, if you want to check out my new online store, which is called the hypnotist store.com, there you will be able to search from over 1,200 hypnosis downloads and find the ones that are relevant to you. So that's also an option for now, though, find a quiet comfortable place where you won't be distracted or disturbed, relax and enjoy the session. Take a deep breath in and as you breathe in, breathe in that relaxation and then exhale attention. And every time you breathe in, set the intention to breathe slightly deeper than before.

4:32And as you exhale, allow the outward breath to continue longer than it normally would. That said, feel the diaphragm activate awaken breathing in deeper exhaling for longer. That said, I let's get in heavier, your looser. Neck and shoulders start to relax. That's it. Now, perhaps you notice sensations that are always there, but you don't notice a heartbeat, a pulse in your wrist, your neck. The sound it makes when an exhale leaves your body, sensation in a finger or a toe, breathing in and breathing out, drifting, deeper and deeper relaxed.

5:57That said, and I wonder if you're able to give yourself permission right here, right now, to allow yourself to be fully present, to not have to worry about the future or dwell on the past, but to be fully here and now. That said, because right here and right now, there is no problem that needs to be solved, nothing to defend or explain.

7:01You're just allowing your body to recognize that for now, everything can be let go because you've been carrying a lot. The drama, the chaos, emails and documents, significant dates and questions, real conversations and then imagined conversations, things that have actually happened and things that might happen. You've visited the future and seen many scenarios of all different things, but you've also gone back in time and wondered, what would be different now if I did things different back then?

8:01And maybe your mind has been carrying all of these thoughts and heavy emotions, like bags that never get put down. So for now in these next few moments, what do you to imagine a place in nature, maybe a familiar place? And imagine there is a place beside you where you can just put everything down, and I'll destroy them or deny them, but just leave them so you don't have to carry them. Anything connected to a legal process just put it down, and family dynamics, you can put that down, or an individual that might be ruthless or uncompromising, unfair or manipulative, just put all that down to.

9:09And decisions that you hoped would be better decisions, particularly from those that talk about family, you can put all of those down to. And sometimes the brain is answering the wrong question, why me what did I do? So all of those questions, they can also be put down and let go, set them all down, and maybe you notice, when you put everything down that you've been carrying, and which lighter you feel, and which more clarity you have, whether it's a phone, a tablet or a computer, if there's 100 applications all running at the same time, no single application runs well.

10:20So in a browser of your mind, just close all of those open applications, and notice how it creates a change in your body, allow the stomach to settle, the chest to loosen, the jaw to feel relaxed, and maybe with every outward breath, imagine it as a release valve, releasing a little more of all of that accumulated emotional residue, scan your body for an anger, and release it on the outward breath, or maybe sadness. Sometimes people feel sad in the heart or around the throat, or behind the eyes, just acknowledge it, release it, and then feel it leave you in that outward breath.

11:32Some people define disappointment, as the contrast between expectations and reality, but that's not always true. Sometimes you can hope that something will be a certain way, and never expected, and still feel disappointed, when what you hoped would have happened, seems like it will never happen, and you can release that disappointment now. Feel it leave your body there, in the outward breath, the trail or can feel like being stabbed in the heart or the back, and I want you to get a sense that the trail as painful as it is can also be liberating.

12:34When people do something, it frees you, perhaps to make decisions that you could never have made, unless that betrayal was obvious, and then feel any grief, wherever it might be hiding, the heart, the chest, somewhere else. Feel it leaving your body, and not because those feelings were wrong. In small doses, they all make sense, but they were signals, and a signal can be useful at one moment in time, and then be confusing at another. If you indicate on your car when you're about to turn, it lets you and everyone else know what to do, but after the turn, if you keep it on, people behind you in front are all confused as to, what are you actually doing?

13:51And as your mind accepts, the signal is only useful, in the moment, in the context, and outside of that context it causes more problems, you can allow these emotional signals to be released. Feel a sense that you are detoxing, and you potent emotions or signals that are not necessary now. You're not a raising emotions, you are extracting the wisdom, the value, and then releasing. The sensation which many times is just an echo of the original. You're not making it up, the emotions are real, there's real grief, and maybe what you're truly grieving is the loss of an idea, a hope, a dream, a family legacy.

15:10Maybe one day you hoped that everything would sort itself out, that conflict would be collaboration, that all the parts are greater, when they work together rather than in opposition, that it would all mean loyalty, and the contribution would matter, and it goodwill would be reciprocated, and that if things became difficult, people would work out those differences and eventually come together. What if that's the real grief, starting to accept what you hoped would be or never be? And sometimes that can feel like a bitter pill to swallow, but isn't it better to accept a difficult truth than a convenient delusion, and so many people are holding on to, hopes and dreams.

16:32There's someone right now planning their whole future on the tiny possibility that they win the lottery, and you know deep down that it's not a strategy for life, that hope is not a strategy, and you can keep your hopes, but treat them as a pleasant surprise, rather than, anything that needs to happen, and sometimes the mind has a habit of saying it shouldn't be this way, and maybe it shouldn't, and it is, and those two things can exist together. It can be true that you would never have chosen this, and still be the case that this is exactly what is happening.

17:41Acceptance is not condoning, desiring, acceptance is not permission or culpability, you're not saying this is good, acceptance is coming to a point where reality doesn't need to be different. Before you can decide what to do next, that you have the resilience, the strength, the mental fortitude, to deal with reality, exactly as it is right now, not hoping people will change, to see the right way. They can do what they do, and likewise, it frees you, to make choices for you, and the people that you truly care about.

18:53When people show you what they value, through decisions and behaviour, through what they protect, and also what they discard, through where their loyalty goes, and where it doesn't, you don't have to keep translating it into a puzzle, of blame and culpability, or trying to figure out why it is that way, you can simply receive the information, and that old question, what did I do that was so wrong? Is perhaps the wrong question, that fair treatment must follow good behaviour, that if you were treated badly, you must somehow have caused it.

20:02These thoughts can be insidious, covert, niggling thoughts that can eat away at you from the inside, but what if other people's choices tell you about their priorities, and nothing at all about your value? Imagine a paradise, a tropical island, but someone else prefers city breaks, that doesn't mean that the paradise has no value, it just means that for an individual they're choosing something else, that paradise island has all the value it always had. It doesn't lose the value, just because, an individual doesn't appreciate it, and what if that old question can begin to dissolve, moving from what I need to do to get back in line, to be accepted, to be worthy?

21:21What if that's replaced with, based on everything I now know, or all this information tell me about how I want to live, and different questions, lead to different thoughts, and different thoughts lead to different or useful emotions? You know about business, about competency and capability, and you know that real information, not lies and deceit, but real facts matter. You don't make decisions by making up numbers, and making up facts. You base decisions on reality and evidence, and perhaps certain relationships can be evaluated with the same clear, pragmatic thoughts.

22:27If there's good will, it appears in behavior. If there's genuine reciprocity, it appears in people's actions. If family truly is the highest value, surely a family going through difficult times is where you see the importance of family. Words can say anything, behavior reveals priorities, and when someone shows you clearly enough, well then you don't have to keep performing all those mental gymnastics to make the evidence mean something else. You can be grateful for the information, and not sarcastically, but pragmatically, almost peacefully.

23:36Thank you, now I know, and when you know, you can accept, and when you accept, you can choose. And I want you to imagine, a favorite beach, and I want you to imagine drawing a line in the sand, and on one side or all the things you can't control. Other people's narratives, their words, their decisions, their opinions, relationships and games they're playing. All of that is on one side of the line in the sand. And on your side, your life, your health, your relationship, the people where there is trust, there is mutual respect.

24:41The people that you care for, and they care for you, not through words, through actions, how do they spend their time? How do their priorities tell you that you're important to them and they're important to you? Friends can be like family, and after you can be like a son. I want you to get a sense, what if your true family is the one you choose, not the one you're born into? Your time, your attention, your boundaries, all of that is on your side of the line in the sand. And the more you think about what's beyond the line, the more angry or frustrated or disappointed you'll become.

25:52So instead treat it like a game of ping pong. Whenever you catch yourself thinking about what's on the other side of the line, quickly, efficiently, think of something else on your line within your influence. On your side of the line in the sand, you accept everything you can't control, and you really think about how best to spend your time, energy and emotions on all of those things you truly can influence. And those people that don't value you are giving you permission to focus on the things that are more important now, knowing what you do know.

27:07These boundaries are not toxic behavior, it's not silent treatment, it's self-preservation, protection, it's respecting your own mental health, emotional health. You can love people, and still have boundaries, and you can be available without becoming responsible for fixing or rescuing everyone or anyone. And what if there's something important about legacy? Perhaps legacy was never a business or property. Those are just assets. What if the true legacy is what continues through people?

28:09How you treat them? What they learn from knowing you? The standards that you model that other people observe? The courage to speak when silence would be easier? And the ability to create relationships that allow disagreement without requiring exile? A willingness to say, you don't have to un-love by staying in line. And what if your legacy is already forming in every person who experiences the real you? Imagine their faces. They know the real you.

29:12Care, compassion, empathy, and perhaps that is a legacy. Nobody can remove from any document. And allow your mind to travel into the future after any legal process is finished. And whatever the outcome is. And notice what you can be like with clear boundaries. Less uncertainty. Notering the relationships you value, and accepting the ones that don't value you. You don't have to spend time wondering why. You simply accept reality and act accordingly. And some relationships get closer.

30:14And others simply fade away. Some doors open, and others will start to close. Life, reality, decisions, and that future version of you. See with health, vitality, energy, perhaps a newfound sense of freedom. And as you hold that thought, notice that all along, you've been letting go and detoxing all of those heavy emotions. You feel pure, cleaner, freer, lighter, more aligned, and your nervous system thanks you for it. But it's time to return, taking all of this acceptance and meaning with you.

31:19A willingness to have clear boundaries, to know what you want and don't want, to know what you will tolerate and not tolerate. And also, who you want to be. Some people, lower their standards, when other people play dirty tricks. But I think dignity and grace, is when you refuse to compromise on values, just because other people are playing by different rules. And as you hold that thought, it's time to return. So take a deep breath in three onos, and out three onos. And wiggle your fingers and wiggle your toes, connect and calibrate it to the here and the now.

32:22As I now count, from one to ten, to awaken you, starting to count. One, two, three, waking up. Four, five, six, more alert. Seven, eight, open your eyes, open your eyes. Nine, ten, wide awake, wide awake. Wide awake. Thank you so much for joining me on today's episode of The Hypnotist. If you've enjoyed this episode or got some value from it, please give it a five-star rating and review. And maybe you know someone that would also benefit from this particular episode, in which case share the episode with them so they can also get the benefit too.

33:23And if you would like to listen to this episode, where it's just the hypnosis, so no intro, no outro, no explanation, just the hypnosis and completely add free, there will be a link in the description where you can subscribe at a very low cost and only get access to the hypnosis. So if that's of interest, please check that out. Thank you again for being a regular listener of The Hypnotist and I'll see you again soon for more. You