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We often hear that dating is broken, but maybe the problem isn't the apps themselves, but the invisible weight of what we bring to them. Think of your dating app as a logistics platform. It is built for speed and efficiency, turning complex human beings into a series of data points. This creates a transactional perspective, where we treat dating like shopping for a product that fits our rigid, pre-set criteria. When we interact this way, we aren't looking for a person; we are looking for a mirror that reflects our specific, often unrealistic, desires. This shift toward the logistics of desire changes how we show up. We end up curating a digital persona, balancing the need to seem desirable while trying to remain authentic, which is an exhausting negotiation. This curated performance keeps us in a cycle of passive consumption, scrolling through profiles that leave us feeling anxious and disconnected. R
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