The No-Judgment Fund

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Donald Trump has announced a new $1.776 billion “anti-weaponization fund” to be doled out as he sees fit to “victims” of the “weaponization” of the Justice Department. It's financed from the Judgment Fund, a strange legal creature — it’s a permanent, unlimited appropriation the federal government can use to pay judgments and settlements. But like… doesn’t that have to be for real lawsuits with plausible claims that could win in court? Also: an ex-AUSA has been criminally charged for sending herself electronic copies of confidential reports about the findings from Jack Smith’s documents investigation into the president. She gave the files names like “bundt cake recipe."

That’s for free subscribers. Paying subscribers get our discussions about:

* An ICE agent facing state criminal charges in Minnesota.

* Elon Musk losing in his civil trial against Sam Altman, and the complex set of circumstances that led the presiding judge to seek an advisory verdict from the jury before disposing of the case herself.

* A counterclaim from Lorna Hajdini in the JP Morgan saga.

* Chud the Builder, unfortunately (in part because of his whiny lawyer).

* Trouble for timeshare billionaire Stephen Cloobeck — Eric Swalwell’s onetime benefactor — and Cloobeck’s ex-Penthouse Pet fiancée, Adva Lavie, a.k.a. “Mia Ventura.”

* Rep. Max Miller, who apparently has the worst luck with women, is suing his ex-wife for defamation, saying she’s making up lies about him being abusive, just like his ex-girlfriend before her, whom he also sued for defamation when she called him abusive.

* And Clavicular pleads no-contest to shooting a dead alligator, is sentenced to non-livestreamed community service — and gets brutally mogged by Judge Marcus Bach-Armas, a total chad who used to be in-house counsel for the Miami Dolphins.